treesofmemories

[treesofmemories]

Anything I write here to you will never reach you. But if you ever read this, ever... somehow? Which is very unlikely, but everything's possible. I'm hoping that you're feeling lighthearted, that sometimes my hazel eyes pop in your mind, and that we'll meet again. I hope that we cross paths, not in each other's funerals but rather a very random moment when we grow older. I'm hoping you'll catch me picking up some tulips for my friend from a florist shop in a rainy evening in Amsterdam, or that I'll catch you in a dimly lit bar, where the air is crisp but warm and blues are playing in the background. I'm hoping we'll catch each other without any game of chasing or hide and seek. I'm hoping that our lifelines meet again, only for a moment that is enough for our eyes to meet and for some memory that's deep within to be locked out.

September 9th, 2021

02:01 am

[treesofmemories]

I guess I'll remember you forever until i don't anymore. Because forever, the one we can imagine, can end. But, the one we don't know of, is endless. I know it because I've been promised Forever by many until i realized that Forever only meant "as long as I care, as long as I dare not giving you up yet". I do not know the real Forever. And so, i will remember you forever. And by forever i mean, until the bits and pieces of you that I'd picked up on the intersection of our lifelines disappear and vanish. I bet you won't even remember my hazel eyes or the slope of my nose or the sound of my voice. It's alright. I am the stars. And not even the stars could fill you up. There's no darker place than outer space other than your fucked up soul. But I do not dim down. I might die but my light lives on. It is my legacy. And to be remembered is beautiful. But will I be remembered immediately after i die? Or will my death be mourned after my light joins me in the Afterlife? What would you have answered, Muphrid?

September 4th, 2021

02:59

[treesofmemories]

My head is aching. I want to sleep but thoughts of you are keeping me awake. You called at 06:06 pm and I chose not to pick up. But I wonder why; why did you call me? Did you call by mistake? Did you call to say goodbye? Did you call to hear my voice? Did you call so that you could tell me that you never cared again? So that i could waste your time again? Did you call so that i could call you "selfish" again? Did you call because you cared? Ever? At all? Did i keep you awake too? Did you miss my lips? My confessions? My wavy hair? My commonly used by the female population perfume? My taste in music? My share of thoughts? Did you miss my words? My presence? My existence? Tell me Muphrid, have you wondered about me? Have you craved my lips? Have you dreamt of me? Have you questioned your words? Your actions? Your intentions?

What am I to you? A waste of time? A shooting star? A rose whose petals grazed your nose as it used its thorns to make your fingers bleed? Just another fish in the sea? A memory that'll eventually fade away? A book you shouldn't have opened? A song you shouldn't have heard? A picture you shouldn't have seen? A thought that shouldn't have crossed your mind?

August 25th, 2021

1:45 AM

[treesofmemories]

I guess i just wished you would remember the name of my favorite song or make my heart feel lighter than most times when the clouds hide the sun. I wish you looked at me softly like a tulip in a field in the Netherlands rather than a rose in a lithe vase next to a bottle of wine in a crowded restaurant. There was an unsettling feeling in my gut that kept warning me about you. Perhaps it was the way your words didn't match your intentions and eyes; fuck. Your eyes, to put it simply, are a wide ocean, whose waves were violent but still carried a few mahogany boats through the seasons. I am not a rose, Muphrid. I'm a tulip.

August 23rd, 2021

1:56 AM

[treesofmemories]

Why do you look at me like the world is set on fire but you only care about your unburnt desire?

[treesofmemories]

I'll welcome the hurt with open arms, if your arms wlecome mine.

[treesofmemories]

“I look at you like I am about to fall along with the world that falls around me, and you look at me like you are ready to catch everything.”

— Lukas W (via quotefeeling)

[treesofmemories]

all i do is sit around and read and eat and be sad i'm basically a more annoying and cooler version of a plant

[treesofmemories]

no talking stage I pull u towards me by our red string of fate and then we kiss on the mouth

[treesofmemories]

The Rose

Have you ever loved a rose,

and watched her slowly bloom;

and as her petals would unfold,

you grew drunk on her perfume.

Have you ever seen her dance,

her leaves all wet with dew;

and quivered with a new romance—

the wind, he loved her too.

Have you ever longed for her,

on nights that go on and on;

for now, her face is all a blur,

like a memory kept too long.

Have you ever loved a rose,

and bled against her thorns;

and swear each night to let her go,

then love her more by dawn.

—Lang Leav

Excerpt From

Dirty Pretty Things

Michael Faudet

[treesofmemories]

My mom is the sweetest person I've ever known.

[treesofmemories]

You're a fleeting scent of roses,

A rush of wind,

A brush of sunlight,

Or a lingering ghost.

I'd welcome you with open arms.

You're a lavender candle,

A star in a dark sky,

A flash bulb,

Or a precious book.

Fallen, I would be under your charms.

[treesofmemories]

I want you to kiss my temple,

Like it's your favorite place of worship.

[treesofmemories]

My father's relatives are no saints,

They are my kindred too.

My heart held one too many complaints,

About how their love was never due.

I never required them to be angelic,

Only to stick by me like cloves of garlic.

Some times, I hate myself for it,

Because they might be unworthy of my concern.

Other times, I forgive myself for it,

Because my young heart still has a long way of learning not to yearn

For things that might not hold me up happily,

Things that might have strong animosity,

Things like deceitful family.

[treesofmemories]

I fell off a tree,

And now I'm a dried leaf,

Hopeless but ready

For you to revive my relief.

If you were a worm,

I'd be yours to devour.

If you were a firebug,

I'd let you set me on fire.

[treesofmemories]

Never mean it, but tell me that I'm special,

That my blood is golden and so is the medal,

You put around my neck, frail like a petal,

Since I am no ordinary metal,

Not one to melt inside a kettle.

[treesofmemories]

I'd kiss death in the mouth,

For mine told lies which

Made you flee south.