trippleacebattery - Tumblr blog

[trippleacebattery]

I am so fucking tired of being sick

Sick of being tired

I want to go home

Where is home

I wouldn’t know

I’ve never seen one

I’m back again

Back again back again back again

In love with people who don’t know I exists for an ounce of happiness, one good friend, and no idea who I am

I think this is my home

-ace c.

[trippleacebattery]

I’m not me

I lost every chance

I gave up long ago

And there is no way back

I’m not me and that makes me wanna die

But im too scared to die

Because I’ve already wasted so much

I cant waste any more

But is it wasted by going on

Can you waste something that shouldn’t even exist

How do I find reality

How do I find my way back

How do I find me

I’m here

But me is not

Me was left long ago

Me can be found in small thing and in people I love

Me is Hyunjin, artist and dancer

Me is langa hasagawa, aloof but capable

Me is hua cheng, confident and loving

Me is not Suguru, angry and hurt

But I am Suguru

I am done

Why did I listen

When they told me everything I loved was useless

And everything I hated reality

I could have done it

I was not the issue

But a lost child can only get so far on their own

I needed help and there was no one there to help me

Only those to stomp on my fingers (barely holding onto the ledge)

and thank god as I fell

then dare to ask me why

I’m broken on the ground

Who would let their kid hurt themself like this

Who would standby and watch

As I tore my flesh out and was left a sack of skin with frail fragile bones

Now I am full of stuffing.

Some look like flesh, a heart, a lung, but they are made of felt

Carefully and cautiously hand stitched by myself to fill the empty space

I have found how to love again

I have found family

But I have not found me

Me is too far gone

I am all i have left

-ace c.