tristandelac - Tumblr blog

[tristandelac]

I suppose i had this one coming.

I party for a living.

[tristandelac]

Okay then, Rod. What do you do for a living?

It totally is.

[tristandelac]

Okay well, hers came in a container i didn't have trouble opening and i've never babysat before. I am baffled by the fact that you have no problem using your voice to insult me as well as complain about what's going on outside, but are unable to open a window and yell at them until they leave. Amazing.

How can you be a babysitter if you can’t open a fucking can? Baby food comes in a can and pretty certain feeding them is in the job description. What — are you breast feeding the kids? If so, can’t say I’m surprised. No one in East Bronx is in a place to decline money unless they got some high and mighty weed business going on with a chain of dealers. Nothing, I’m in my right to be pissed off about being stuck in a town where teens are fucking around outside my house at around four in the morning.

[tristandelac]

Is it really? That's an unusual name.

My name is Rod and I like to party.

[tristandelac]

Tristan is my name, drinking is my game clap clap. What's yours?

Of course it is. What your name again?

[tristandelac]

It's not just a sombrero. It's a way of life.

So you just dumb to spend 10 dollars on a sombrero?

[tristandelac]

High on life, aha. And that one shot of tequilla but whatever.

You high?

[tristandelac]

Only a little bit. What's a sombrero without a drink, am i right? If by horror you mean the absolute coolest thing you've ever seen then i agree. If not i'm offended by your accusation.

I think you might be drunk. Meaning you weren’t in your right state of mind nor were you mentally available to make a good decision. In other words, you wasted five beautiful dollars for that horror of a hat.

[tristandelac]

It's not just a hat Aaron. It's a mariachi hat. It makes me mariachi.

A hat? Very essential, bud.

[tristandelac]

Found ten bucks between the couch cushions so i went out and bought a hat. This is the best day of my life. Olé.

[tristandelac]

Well i assume. Can't really be sure.

How do you know you’re not still gross?

[tristandelac]

It's charity when you're offering me something because i don't have it. It's alright, stop looking at me like that. I feel bad, didn't mean to upset you.

I suppose you’re right but that’ll probably be the only time. It’s not charity work if I genuinely care about your well-being. But forgive me, it’ll never happen again.

[tristandelac]

Each to their own, i guess. I'm not much of a fan of my life before i got here, to be honest.

Not always a bad thing.

[tristandelac]

And at the time, i was gross as all hell too. Grew out of it eventually.

Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you were once a baby too.

[tristandelac]

I really wasn't, i think you'd know if i was trying. Chill, it's really not a big deal. If i was hungry i'd have gone out and bought something. No need for your charity work.

Don’t try and flatter me, Tristan. If that’s normal then that’s kinda fucked, don’t you think? I mean, I’m not the nicest person but at least I have some humanity. If you were hungry, I’d let you eat at mine, I don’t care.

[tristandelac]

You clearly bring out the man in me. A normal one? To be honest, i'm considering checking your temperature over the fact that you just let food overpower sex in less than a sentence. It's worrying.

I think that’s the manliest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth. I’m so proud of you though, honestly. Well, I wouldn’t want you going hungry. What kind of person would that make me?

[tristandelac]

Not always a good thing.

You’re completely correct.