troubleangel1994

[troubleangel1994]

sonar was magical ✨

[troubleangel1994]

me & ❤️

[troubleangel1994]

so ended up again in the hospital due to period pain. last time was 4 years ago in berlin ✌🏻but at least they didn’t operate on me this time. it was better and im home already after some intravenous drugs

[troubleangel1994]

creepy guy: *approaches me and starts making conversation* creepy guy: how old are you? me: 30, how old are you? creepy guy: oh, ok i'm 34. but i thought youe were younger, like 23. Ok bye. creepy guy: *quietly disappears into the club* me: o.O

[troubleangel1994]

well, yesterday was amazing. we met a magician, a random guy from london who tagged along with us and which we abandoned at some point, a sexy secret policeman (?), a tattoo artist… we danced so much, we were invited into the djs cabin, danced with the dj and his friend. went in an out and we pleased. it was magical.

[troubleangel1994]

im spiraling. i can feel it.

[troubleangel1994]

grabbing so post workout sparkles

[troubleangel1994]

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[troubleangel1994]

so bored of gender debates. at this point i have come to the conclusion that people arguing for gender identity ideology don’t understand the difference between discrete vs contious variables. get a grip and maybe go study some math.

[troubleangel1994]

[troubleangel1994]

I don't understand why people's comments make you feel stupid... if your mom bought a house and you live there for free, what's the problem? I would like to not pay rent. Now, why did you leave Berlim? This is even more stupid to me. Take advantage and buy an apartment. Invest now while you can! Don't take my comment the wrong way, I'm just trying to understand why you feel bad about being more privileged than others.

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[troubleangel1994]

And whether you have a good salary or not, what does it matter? Any advice? Don't talk about your life and less about people you don't know! I also have a good salary. And I never talk to anyone about it.I pay rent, but I'm going to buy an apartment soon because at least the house will be mine after about X years. People always have a tendency to judge you by your privileges.

yeah, so i actually realized that me reacting that way was very dumb. I'm not sure why I feel bad when I'm more privileged than others. This is quite conflictive to me because I don't want to lie, I hate lying. I also feel like if people know that there's better alternatives out there they will do better. But at the same time I don't want to rub anything on anyone's face? So I end up being conflicted and feeling bad when people ask these things. i never tell anyone my salary unless asked directly. i also feel like talking about salaries should be normalized, so if people ask i always answer and don't make a big deal out of it. but then of course spanish people know that in berlin you earn more. so if you move and keep your salary that's already prob quite a lot. and yeah, i moved back and i'm planning to buy now. but i'm also quite unsatisfied with my job atm so not sure if getting a mortage now is the best move. i also realized that my standards are way too high and prob need to lower them so i don't put myself in a potentially tricky situation re the mortage... something else that i also realized is that me coming back to spain is actually very good for the economy and i'm contributing so much but of course no one really thinks about that lol just want to blame me for being lucky and working my ass off.

[troubleangel1994]

reliving yesterday's night and i feel so mortified. i was chatting with this group of guys outside the club and was telling them how happy i was that the startup i work at moved my contract to spain and now i get to be here after 6 years in berlin. and they were like: did they cut your salary tho? and i was like: no! same salary :) and they were like: ah, ok so you have come to gentrify bcn, nice. there and then i started to feel a bit uneasy unsure if it was a joke or not but i played along and i was like: oh yeah no worries, i'm actually not living in the city but in X town near the city. and they were like: ah oh, really? how come? and then i was like...... shit. and had to tell them my mum had bought a flat and i was living there rent free with what they already know is a high salary for spain. i felt like an asshole and so so so embarrassed :(

[troubleangel1994]

so tonight was interesting. i went to a random bday party in which i knew noone but two people ( and not the bday person), then i fought a tree in the middle of the city to get an orange. i saw the hour change which was thrilling and met some nice people. but was interrogated on my salary, the fact that im not paying for rent and acused of gentrifying bcn, my home city, only because i work in tech and came recently from berlin with a good salary 😢

[troubleangel1994]

nice outfit bad makeup

[troubleangel1994]

i had to relearn how to ride a bike in my 20s and now in my 30s i need to relearn how to drive a car. an no, that saying that goes - it’s like riding a bike, you never forget - does not apply to me ✌🏻 awesome, now let’s do this.