trustschaos

[trustschaos]

hit the heart for memes + comment if you want my discord

[trustschaos]

[trustschaos]

you wanna plot and deal with this dumbass and her dumb adorable face?  here’s your chance!  hit the heart or reply to this post and i’ll come to you through IMs or discord to chat! all for the low, low price of: she’s a pain in the ass!

but that’s not all!  i’ll throw in some options for added ease of use!

comment with ✩ for platonic plotting of any sort! comment with ★ for romantic plotting!

[trustschaos]

me : i'm gonna write me, instead: oops

[trustschaos]

LAUREN BLOOM     ➤     1x06 - ANTHROPOCENE 

[trustschaos]

just a quick psa to support your mutuals !  engage with their edits ,  send them memes ,  reblog their promos ,  send them some positivity .  30 seconds out of your day will likely make theirs ,  so please at least try to do the small things to make this community a nicer place to be in !

[trustschaos]

just…  imagine being lau/ren blo/om and trying to break up with your girlfriend of one whole week bc you thought abt kissing her all day and you were happy at work and none of your coworkers have ever seen you genuinely happy before so their criticism and surprise meant you were doing something wrong bc you’ve known them longer and you’ve never done this before and what if you really can’t do your job and be happy at the same time

but then your girlfriend is a gem and laughs at you and just ‘haha no’ 

what a dumbass i love her so much

[trustschaos]

*   𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑  𝐁𝐘  𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐀  𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐎  .      lyric starters from sour, change pronouns as needed.

𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐥 .

❛   i  want  it  to  be ,  like ,  messy .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  insecure .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  caught  up  in  the  news  of  who  likes  me  and  who  hates  you .  ❜ ❛   they’d  all  be  so  disappointed .  ❜ ❛   where’s  my  fucking  teenage  dream ?  ❜ ❛   i  don't  stick  up  for  myself .  ❜ ❛   i'm  anxious  and  nothing  can  help .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  people  liked  me  more .  ❜ ❛   all  i  did  was  try  my  best .  ❜ ❛   this  the  kind  of  thanks  i  get ?  ❜ ❛   i  wish  i  could  disappear .  ❜ ❛   god ,  it’s  brutal  out  here .  ❜ ❛   i  feel  like  no  one  wants  me .  ❜ ❛   i  only  have  two  real  friends .  ❜

𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫 .

❛   i  played  dumb  but  i  always  knew .  ❜ ❛   i  kept  quiet  so  i  could  keep  you .  ❜ ❛   ain’t  it  funny  how  you  said  you  were  friends ?  ❜ ❛   you  betrayed  me .  ❜ ❛   i  know  that  you’ll  never  feel  sorry .  ❜ ❛   loved  you  at  your  worst  but  that  didn’t  matter .  ❜ ❛   but  you’re  still  a  traitor .  ❜ ❛   there’s  no  damn  way  that  you  could  fall  in  love  with  somebody  that  quickly .  ❜ ❛   and  you  told  me  i  was  paranoid .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  that  you  had  thought  this  through  before  i  went  and  fell  in  love  with  you .  ❜

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 .

❛   i  got  my  driver's  license  last  week .  ❜ ❛   she’s  everything  i’m  insecure  about .  ❜ ❛   how  could  i  ever  love  someone  else ?  ❜ ❛   i  know  we  weren’t  perfect  but  i’ve  never  felt  this  way  for  no  one .  ❜ ❛   i  just  can’t  imagine  how  you  could  be  so  okay  now  that  i’m  gone .  ❜ ❛   all  my  friends  are  tired  of  hearing  how  much  i  miss  you .  ❜ ❛   i  kinda  feel  sorry  for  them .  ❜ ❛   they’ll  never  know  you  the  way  that  i  do .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you  didn’t  mean  what  you  wrote  in  that  song  about  me .  ❜ ❛   i  still  see  your  face  in  the  white  cars .  ❜ ❛   can’t  drive  past  the  places  we  used  to  go  to .  ❜ ❛   i  still  fuckin’  love  you .  ❜ ❛   i  still  hear  your  voice  in  the  traffic .  ❜ ❛   you  said  forever .  ❜ ❛   now  i  drive  alone  past  your  street .  ❜

𝟏 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝟑 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 .

❛   i  called  you  on  the  phone  today .  ❜ ❛   all  i  did  was  speak  normally .  ❜ ❛   somehow  i  still  struck  a  nerve .  ❜ ❛   you  got  me  fucked  up  in  the  head .  ❜ ❛   never  doubted  myself  so  much .  ❜ ❛   like  am  i  pretty ?  ❜ ❛   i  hate  that  i  give  you  power  over  that  kinda  stuff .  ❜ ❛   it’s  always  one  step  forward  and  three  steps  back .  ❜ ❛   i’m  the  love  of  your  life  until  i  make  you  mad .  ❜ ❛   do  you  love  me ,  want  me ,  hate  me ?  ❜ ❛   no,  i  don’t  understand .  ❜ ❛   maybe  in  some  masochistic  way  i  kind  of  find  it  all  exciting .  ❜ ❛   which  lover  will  i  get  today ?  ❜ ❛   will  you  walk  me  to  the  door  or  send  me  home  crying ?  ❜ ❛   did  i  say  something  wrong ?  ❜ ❛   did  i  do  something  wrong ?  ❜ ❛   maybe  this  is  all  your  fault  instead .  ❜ ❛   i’d  leave  you,  but  the  rollercoaster’s  all  i’ve  ever  had .  ❜

𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮 .

❛   i  bet  she’s  braggin’  to  all  her  friends .  ❜ ❛   so  when  you  gonna  tell  her  that  we  did  that ,  too ?  ❜ ❛   she  thinks  it’s  special,  but  it’s  all  reused .  ❜ ❛   do  you  call  her ,  almost  say  my  name ?  ❜ ❛   that  was  our  place .  ❜ ❛   i  found  it  first .  ❜ ❛   do  you  get  déjà  vu ?  ❜ ❛   let’s  be  honest ,  we  kinda  do  sound  the  same .  ❜ ❛   i  hate  to  think  that  i  was  just  your  type .  ❜ ❛   that  was  the  show  we  talked  about .  ❜ ❛   don’t  act  like  we  didn’t  do  that  shit ,  too .  ❜ ❛   a  different  girl  now,  but  there’s  nothing  new .  ❜

𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝟒 𝐮 .

❛   well ,  good  for  you .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you  moved  on  really  easily .  ❜ ❛   remember  when  you  said  that  you  wanted  to  give  me  the  world ?  ❜ ❛   you  look  happy  and  healthy .  ❜ ❛   not  me ,  if  you  ever  cared  to  ask .  ❜ ❛   you’re  doin’  great  out  there  without  me .  ❜ ❛   god ,  i  wish  that  i  could  do  that .  ❜ ❛   i’ve  lost  my  mind .  ❜ ❛   i’ve  spent  the  night  cryin’  on  the  floor  of  my  bathroom .  ❜ ❛   you’re  so  unaffected .  ❜ ❛   i  really  don’t  get  it .  ❜ ❛   i  guess  you’re  gettin’  everything  you  want .  ❜ ❛   it’s  like  we  never  even  happened .  ❜ ❛   what  the  fuck  is  up  with  that ?  ❜ ❛   it’s  like  you  never  even  met  me .  ❜ ❛   remember  when  you  swore  to  god  i  was  the  only  person  who  ever  got  you ?  ❜ ❛   you  will  never  have  to  hurt  the  way  you  know  that  i  do .  ❜ ❛   maybe  i’m  too  emotional .  ❜ ❛   your  apathy’s  like  a  wound  in  salt .  ❜ ❛   maybe  you  never  cared  at  all .  ❜

𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 .

❛   ‘cause  i  thought  you’d  like  me  more .  ❜ ❛   tried  so  hard  to  be  everything  that  you liked .  ❜ ❛   stupid ,  emotional ,  obsessive  little  me .  ❜ ❛   i  knew  from  the  start  this  is  exactly  how  you’d  leave .  ❜ ❛   the  nеxt  second,  you  were  gone .  ❜ ❛   you  left  me  there  crying .  ❜ ❛   you  always  say  i’m  never  satisfied .  ❜ ❛   but  i  don’t  think  that’s  true .  ❜ ❛   all  i  ever  wanted  was  to  be  enough  for  you .  ❜ ❛   maybe  i’m  just  not  as  interesting .  ❜ ❛   you  couldn’t  have  cared  less  about  someone  who  loved  you  more .  ❜ ❛   i’d  say  you  broke  my  heart .  ❜ ❛   but  you  broke  much  more  than  that .  ❜ ❛   now  i  don’t  want  your  sympathy .  ❜ ❛   i  just  want  myself  back .  ❜ ❛   don’t  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  be  used  and  discarded ?  ❜ ❛   don’t  you  think  i  loved  you  too  much  to  think  i  deserve  nothing ?  ❜ ❛   don’t  tell  me  you’re  sorry .  ❜ ❛   feel  sorry  for  yourself .  ❜ ❛   someday  i’ll  be  everything  to  somebody  else .  ❜ ❛   you’ll  be  the  one  who’s  crying .  ❜ ❛   i  don’t  think  anything  could  ever  be  enough  for  you .  ❜

𝐡𝐚��𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐫 .

❛   i  thought  my  heart  was  detached .  ❜ ❛   does  she  mean  you  forgot  about  me ?  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy  but  not  like  how  you  were  with  me .  ❜ ❛   i’m  selfish,  i  know  .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy .  ❜ ❛   but  don’t  be  happier .  ❜ ❛   an  eternal  love  bullshit  you  know  you’ll  never  mean .  ❜ ❛   now  i’m  pickin’  her  apart .  ❜ ❛   i  wish  you  all  the  best ,  really .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you’re  happy,  but  don’t  be  happier .  ❜

𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 .

❛   i  kinda  wanna  throw  my  phone  across  the  room .  ❜ ❛   wish  i  didn’t  care .  ❜ ❛   i  know  their  beauty’s  not  my  lack .  ❜ ❛   It  feels  like  that  weight  is  on  my  back .  ❜ ❛   i  can’t  let  it  go .  ❜ ❛   comparison  is  killing  me  slowly .  ❜ ❛   i  think  i  think  too  much .  ❜ ❛   i’m  so  sick  of  myself .  ❜ ❛   i’d  rather  be  anyone  else .  ❜ ❛   my  jealousy  started  following  me .  ❜ ❛   i  see  everyone  getting  all  the  things  i  want .  ❜ ❛   i’m  happy  for  them,  but  then  again,  i’m  not .  ❜ ❛   i  can’t  stand  it .  ❜ ❛   oh  god ,  i  sound  crazy .  ❜ ❛   their  win  is  not  my  loss .  ❜ ❛   i  can’t  help  getting  caught  up  in  it  all .  ❜ ❛   all  your  friends  are  so  cool .  ❜ ❛   yeah,  you’re  living  the  life .  ❜ ❛   i  wanna  be  you  so  bad .  ❜ ❛   i  don’t  even  know  you .  ❜ ❛   all  i  see  is  what  i  should  be .  ❜

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 .

❛   know  that  i  loved  you  so  bad .  ❜ ❛   i  let  you  treat  me  like  that .  ❜ ❛   i  was  your  willing  accomplice .  ❜ ❛   i  watched  as  you  fled  the  scene .  ❜ ❛   the  things  i  did  just  so  i  could  call  you  mine .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  i  was  your  favorite  crime .  ❜ ❛   you  used  me  as  an  alibi .  ❜ ❛   i  crossed  my  heart  as  you  crossed  the  line .  ❜ ❛   i  defended  you  to  all  my  friends .  ❜ ❛   you  know  that  i’d  do  it  all  again .  ❜ ❛   it’s  bittersweet  to  think  about  the  damage  that  we’d  do .  ❜ ❛   i  was  doin’  it  with  you .  ❜ ❛   i  say  that  i  hate  you  with  a  smile  on  my  face .  ❜ ❛   look  what  we  became .  ❜

𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐤 .

❛   somehow  we  fell  out  of  touch .  ❜ ❛   hope  he  took  his  bad  deal  and  made  a  royal  flush .  ❜ ❛   don’t  know  if  i’ll  see  you  again  someday .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  that  you’re  okay .  ❜ ❛   we  don’t  talk  much .  ❜ ❛   i  just  gotta  say  i  miss  you .  ❜ ❛   address  the  letters  to  the  holes  in  my  butterfly  wings .  ❜ ❛   nothing’s  forever .  ❜ ❛   nothing’s  as  good  as  it  seems .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  you  know  how  proud  i  am  you  were  created .  ❜ ❛   i  hope  that  you’re  happier  today .  ❜

[trustschaos]

[trustschaos]

hit the heart and specify muse if you’re a multi,  and i’ll throw you a starter!

[trustschaos]

𝑰 𝑯𝑶𝑷𝑬 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑫𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑬 .    (   sentence  starters  originating  from  season  two  of  syfy’s  ‘ wynonna earp ’ .   adjust  pronouns  as  necessary ,  heavy  warning  for  mature  themes !   )

❛  you  truly  are  a  monster .  ❜ ❛  now ,  don’t  get  all  emotional  on  me .  ❜ ❛  you  have  amazing  taste  in  underwear .  ❜ ❛  my  poor ,  brave  baby .  ❜ ❛  when  did  you  become  such  a  prude ?  ❜ ❛  it’s  called  being  a  gentleman .  ❜ ❛  how  are  you  holding  up ?  ❜ ❛  i’ll  have  you  know  i’m  kind  of  a  big  deal  around  here .  ❜ ❛  you’re  gonna  need  me .  ❜ ❛  aw ,  you  did  math .  ❜ ❛  i  need  you  to  be  okay .  ❜ ❛  you  couldn’t  stop  me  if  you  tried .  ❜ ❛  better  nut  up  and  decide  who  you  can  trust .  ❜ ❛  if  you  want  me  to  trust  you ,  you’re  gonna  have  to  tell  me  the  plan .  ❜ ❛  you  stay  put ,  okay ?  ❜ ❛  there  is  a  possibility  i  am  now  hallucinating .  ❜ ❛  it’s  my  turn ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  who  are  you ?  you  know  what ,  i  don’t  care .  we’ve  gotta  go .  ❜ ❛  somebody  has  to  pay ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  you  could  come  in  …  i’m  gonna  take  a  shower .  ❜ ❛  they  should  be  scared  of  me .  ❜ ❛  remember  who  the  real  enemy  is .  ❜ ❛  this  is  the  worst .  ❜ ❛  i  love  watching  you  work .  ❜ ❛  please  don’t  shut  me  out .  ❜ ❛  i’m  sitting  right  here ,  there’s  no  need  to  holler .  ❜ ❛  what  do  you  even  do  around  here ,  [ name ] ?  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  anything  to  say  for  yourself ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  such  an  asshole ,  i  don’t  know  why  i  brought  that  up .  ❜ ❛  what’s  in  it  for  you ?  ❜ ❛  how  are  you  doing ?  still  having  fun ?  ❜ ❛  so  many  jokes ,  i  can’t  even  choose .  ❜ ❛  THIS  is  your  breaking  point ?  ❜ ❛  this  might  be  a  shitshow ,  but  it’s  OUR  shitshow .  ❜ ❛  sometimes ,  it’s  good  to  say  goodbye .  ❜ ❛  we  never  lied  to  each  other ,  you’re  free  to  kiss  whoever  you  like .  ❜ ❛  how  do  you  do  that ?  turn  your  feelings  on  and  off  like  a  fucking  robot ?  ❜ ❛  let’s  get  you  somewhere  safe .  ❜ ❛  i  feel  like  i  might’ve  lost  the  plot  a  bit .  ❜ ❛  all  i  dream  of  is  not  having  to  run  anymore .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  wanna  die .  ❜ ❛  this  is  what  i  bring  to  the  team .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  know  if  i  should  be  frightened  or  jealous .  ❜ ❛  you  wore  suede ?  what  is  it ,  your  first  day ?  ❜ ❛  to  add  insult  to  injury ,  you’re  stuck  with  me .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  like  being  blackmailed .  ❜ ❛  i’m  tired  of  running  and  hiding  …  and  then  running  again .  ❜ ❛  we’re  buying  better  bourbon .  case  closed .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  was  never  anything  but  proud  of  you .  ❜ ❛  oh ,  i  like  when  you’re  scary .  ❜ ❛  are  you  still  mad  at  me ?  ❜ ❛  as  long  as  you  want  me ,  i  will  be  by  your  side .  ❜ ❛  the  best  sex  is  make - up  sex ,  right ?  ❜ ❛  give  me  a  whiskey !  ❜ ❛  maybe  i  am  getting  soft ,  huh ?  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  i  have  this  gut  feeling  that  something  is  coming ,  and  it’s  bad .  ❜ ❛  i  can  get  you  whatever  you  need  except  time .  ❜ ❛  i  thought  this  time  would  be  different .  ❜ ❛  even  fury  road  has  pit  stops .  ❜ ❛  i  didn’t  know  if  it  was  your  thing .  ❜ ❛  baby ,  that’s  everybody’s  thing .  ❜ ❛  you  guys  need  to  get  some  more  hands ,  so  that  your  hands  can  stay  right  here  on  me .  ❜ ❛  every  time  i  close  my  eyes ,  it’s  the  same  nightmare .  ❜ ❛  are  you  going  to  be  this  much  fun  all  day ?  ❜ ❛  i  was  such  an  idiot .  ❜ ❛  clock  is  ticking ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  how  are  you  settling  in ?  ❜ ❛  how  long  are  you  around ?  ❜ ❛  what  am  i ,  human  tinder ?  ❜ ❛  listen ,  i  love  that  you’ve  got  your  own  thing  going  on  here ,  but  don’t  get  distracted .  ❜ ❛  you  have  my  undivided  attention .  ❜ ❛  two  shots  of  tequila  is  not  ‘abstaining’ ,  it’s  called  being  professional .  ❜ ❛  nice  try ,  but  snitches  get  stitches .  ❜ ❛  i  was  just  thinking  about  you .  ❜ ❛  some  things  never  change ,  huh ?  ❜ ❛  hey ,  watch  your  perfectly  glossed  mouth .  ❜ ❛  i’m  glad  you’re  putting  yourself  out  there .  ❜ ❛  why  is  everyone  so  obsessed  with  my  fun  levels ?  ❜ ❛  yeah ,  it’s  great .  i  could  just  scream !  ❜ ❛  not  bailing  on  me ,  are  you ?  ❜ ❛  do  you  wanna  get  out  of  here ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  drunk  and  you’re  talking  too  much .  ❜ ❛  shady  and  suspicious ,  therefore  gettin’  more  delicious .  ❜ ❛  you’ve  come  so  far .  ❜ ❛  when  you  stop  dating  psychos ,  THEN  you  can  give  me  relationship  advice .  ❜ ❛  let  him  go ,  it’s  not  worth  it .  ❜ ❛  if  that’s  broken ,  you’ll  pay  for  it .  ❜ ❛  don’t  tell  me  how  to  do  my  job .  ❜ ❛  oh ,  you  have  not  seen  harassment .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  keep  your  head  in  the  game .  ❜ ❛  have  you  noticed  any  changes  in  [ name ]  lately ?  ❜ ❛  you  know  what ?  forget  it .  ❜ ❛  i  heard  everything .  ❜ ❛  you’ll  be  broken  enough  for  her  in  no  time .  ❜ ❛  you  look  like  you  had  some  fun .  ❜ ❛  you  are  UNDERESTIMATING  the  day  i’ve  had .  ❜ ❛  are  we  too  late ?  are  you  okay ?  ❜ ❛  i  had  him  right  where  i  wanted  him .  ❜ ❛  this  has  to  end .  please .  ❜ ❛  brave  but  stupid ,  i’ll  take  it .  ❜ ❛  okay ,  yeah ,  now  i’m  sure  i  hit  myself  in  the  head .  ❜ ❛  i  hate  you ,  [ name ] .  i  hate  you .  ❜ ❛  you  think  i’m  stupid ?  ❜ ❛  why  didn’t  you  tell  me  any  of  this  before ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  stubborn ,  i  always  take  the  hard  way .  ❜ ❛  i  wasn’t  expecting  company .  ❜ ❛  okay ,  we’ve  really  gotta  come  up  with  a  secret  handshake .  ❜ ❛  should  …  should  we  have  a  safe  word ?  ❜ ❛  this  was  not  the  plan ,  it’s  too  dangerous .  ❜ ❛  stop  it .  all  you  do  is  play  games .  i  don’t  like  your  games .  ❜ ❛  i’m  trying  to  rescue  you ,  let’s  go .  ❜ ❛  doesn’t  anybody  have  any  faith  in  me ?  ❜ ❛  how  do  you  know  you  weren’t  followed ?  ❜ ❛  i  think  you  should  get  out  of  here .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  a  bad  person .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  a  bad  person ,  and  if  you  know  what’s  good  for  you ,  you’ll  stop  treating  me  like  one .  ❜ ❛  the  power  of  suggestion  is  a  formidable  thing .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  i  know  what  i  saw .  ❜ ❛  i  told  you  to  wait .  ❜ ❛  bad  news ,  they  ran  out  of  pumpkin  spice .  ❜ ❛  i  thought  tying  a  cherry  stem  into  a  knot  with  my  tongue  was  a  cool  party  trick .  ❜ ❛  you’re  not  ready .  you’ll  never  be  ready .  ❜ ❛  you’ll  never  be  locked  up  again .  ❜ ❛  whatever  you  did ,  i  want  to  help .  ❜ ❛  i’m  exhausted .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  having  any  fun .  ❜ ❛  what  are  we  going  to  do  with  you ?  ❜ ❛  i  salted  the  rim ,  i’m  not  a  savage .  ❜ ❛  are  you  feeling  alright ?  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  wanna  go  in  there ,  trust  me .  ❜ ❛  tell  me  why  i  shouldn’t  kill  you  right  here ,  right  now .  ❜ ❛  you’re  really  mean  when  you  drink  before  noon .  and  you  drink  before  noon  too  often .  ❜ ❛  well  frankly ,  [ name ] ,  the  situation  is  balls .  ❜ ❛  horrible  deeds  have  been  committed  here .  ❜ ❛  have  you  done  bad  things ?  ❜ ❛  let’s  get  you  straight  home  to  bed .  ❜ ❛  …  i  said  i  was  sorry .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  be  anything  you  want  me  to  be .  ❜ ❛  i  might’ve  caused  some  trouble .  ❜ ❛  you’ve  got  dark  corners  that  you  haven’t  explored  yet .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  enough  to  save  you ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  okay ,  are  we  having  a  moment ?  ❜ ❛  there’s  only  one  way  to  make  it  stop  and  you  know  what  it  is ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  history  books  will  have  no  mention  of  our  names  or  our  deeds .  ❜ ❛  i  know  you  need  space  and  i  really  tried  to  stay  away ,  but  i  got  worried .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  got  you  now ,  okay ?  i  swear  i’ve  got  you .  ❜ ❛  you’ve  made  an  enemy  this  friday .  ❜ ❛  [ name ]  would  never  say  something  like  that .  ❜ ❛  i’d  say  ‘make  your  peace’ ,  but  i  hope  you  never  find  any .  ❜ ❛  i  would  shoot  anybody  for  you .  ❜ ❛  i  knew  you’d  rescue  me .  ❜ ❛  i  have  enough  friends .  ❜ ❛  you  know ,  i’m  here  for  you .  now  and  forever .  ❜ ❛  we’re  all  on  the  same  team ,  now ,  right ?  ❜ ❛  you  can’t  just  ‘nope’  this  away !  ‘nope’  is  not  a  viable  plan .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  take  a  day  off .  ❜ ❛  if  it  sounds  like  a  hippie  hemorrhoid  cream ,  i  don’t  want  it  in  my  cup .  ❜ ❛  you  practice  those  googly  eyes  in  the  mirror ,  or  just  …  natural  talent ?  ❜ ❛  how  did  you  get  in  here ?  ❜ ❛  stop  pushing  me .  and  while  you’re  at  it ,  stop  judging  me .  ❜ ❛  i  remember  every  second  i  was  with  you .  every  touch ,  every  kiss  …    ❜ ❛  did  i  just  pass  out ?  ❜ ❛  i  think  we’ve  been  asleep  for  a  long - ass  time .  ❜ ❛  time  is  running  out .  ❜ ❛  you  haven’t  been  paying  attention .  ❜ ❛  goodie ,  i  love  conditions .  they  really  turn  my  crank .  ❜ ❛  you’re  amazing .  ❜ ❛  you  do  not  want  to  cross  that  line .  ❜ ❛  everybody  keeps  talking  to  me  like  i’m  an  idiot .  ❜ ❛  i  know  what  i  want .  ❜ ❛  you  shot  me ,  you  bitch !  ❜ ❛  i  have  something  to  tell  you ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  be  like  this ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  you  know  we’re  gonna  have  to  talk  about  this  eventually ,  right ?  ❜ ❛  room  down  there  for  one  more ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  saying  it’s  gonna  be  okay .  i’m  just  saying  …  i’m  here .  ❜ ❛  i  am  all  in .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  thank  god  you’re  here .  ❜ ❛  it’s  for  your  protection .  ❜ ❛  if  you  have  nothing  to  hide ,  what’s  the  problem ?  ❜ ❛  sorry ,  i  don’t  have  time  to  play  nice  anymore .  ❜ ❛  usually  she’s  a  fun  bitch ,  not  a  bitch  bitch .  ❜ ❛  wake  up .  [ name ] ,  wake  up .  ❜ ❛  evil  sniffs  out  evil .  ❜ ❛  you’re  very  nice ,  thank  you  for  that .  ❜ ❛  i  wonder  how  many  generations  have  surveyed  this  land .  ❜ ❛  i  think  it’s  starting  to  settle  in .  ❜ ❛  don’t  shoot ,  i’m  just  the  messenger .  ❜ ❛  it  was  a  long  time  ago .  ❜ ❛  you  are  kicking  ass  at  not  helping  right  now ,  you  know ?  ❜ ❛  we  should  talk .  ❜ ❛  you  are  such  an  asshole .  ❜ ❛  [ name ] ,  hey .  i  need  a  favor .  ❜ ❛  i  told  you  not  to  make  this  weird .  ❜ ❛  i  hate  doing  everything  sober .  ❜ ❛  pace  yourself ,  there’s  SO  much  more  to  judge .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  become  [ name ]  by  confronting  problems  head - on .  ❜ ❛  just  shut  your  mouth .  ❜ ❛  okay ,  yeah ,  i  guess  i  deserved  that .  ❜ ❛  see ?  this  is  what  you  get  when  you’re  friends  with  a  nark .  ❜ ❛  step  out  of  my  way .  ❜ ❛  are  we  having  a  good  time ?  ❜ ❛  okay ,  let  me  do  the  talking .  ❜ ❛  justice  delayed  is  still  justice  served .  ❜ ❛  you  are  so  pretty  and  i  like  you  so  much !  ❜ ❛  you’re  drunk !  and  in  trouble .  ❜ ❛  this  whole  ‘lone  wolf’  thing  you’ve  got  going  on  isn’t  gonna  cut  it .  ❜ ❛  don’t  even  think  about  it .  ❜ ❛  did  you  mean  any  of  those  things  you  said ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  lucky  nobody  saw  that .  ❜ ❛  why  don’t  you  distract  me ?  ❜ ❛  this  is  only  gonna  get  worse  if  you  don’t  decide  to  help  me .  ❜ ❛  you  really  don’t  care  about  any  of  this ,  do  you ?  ❜ ❛  i’ll  be  gone  long  before  then .  ❜ ❛  so  this  is  where  it  all  began  …  ❜ ❛  it’s  hard  not  to  feel  like  an  outsider ,  even  for  me .  ❜ ❛  i  remember  what  it  feels  like  to  be  new .  ❜ ❛  hey ,  don’t  do  anything  stupid ,  okay ?  ❜ ❛  shut  the  hell  up .  ❜ ❛  at  this  point ,  i’m  no  longer  afraid  of  the  consequences .  ❜ ❛  how  did  you  come  by  it ?  the  wound ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  lying .  ❜ ❛  you  have  to  do  something  for  me .  ❜ ❛  why  wouldn’t  you  tell  me ?  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  need  you  to  make  decisions  for  me .  ❜ ❛  don’t  follow  me .  ❜ ❛  why  did  you  bring  me  here ?  ❜ ❛  i  deserve  to  be  saved .  i  do .  ❜ ❛  try  to  remember  who  you  were .  ❜ ❛  trust  me ,  we’ll  meet  again .  ❜ ❛  i  promise  i  will  never  hurt  you .  ❜ ❛  come  back  to  me .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  want  to  hurt  you .  ❜ ❛  eyes  on  the  prize .  ❜ ❛  surely  you’ll  want  to  hear  my  offer .  ❜ ❛  sorry  i  was  a  no - show .  ❜ ❛  aren’t  you  gonna  say  goodnight ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  too  hangry  to  have  this  conversation .  ❜ ❛  it’s  okay ,  it’s  better  that  i  know  the  truth .  ❜ ❛  am  i  the  biggest  cliche  ever ?  ❜ ❛  i  know  what  you’re  going  through .  ❜ ❛  you’re  so  lovely .  ❜ ❛  you  know  what  i’d  never  do ?  tell  you  what  to  think  or  feel .  ❜ ❛  i  never  drink  alone .  it’s  sad  and  depressing .  ❜ ❛  i  would  do  anything  to  get  out  of  here  for  just  one  night .  ❜ ❛  say  something  …  preferably  encouraging .  ❜ ❛  is  this  your  thing ?  cute  but  annoying ?  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  protect  you  if  i’m  dead .  ❜ ❛  i  think  i  need  to  leave .  ❜ ❛  you  can’t  run  away  from  this .  ❜ ❛  you  repeat  this  convo ,  you  die .  ❜ ❛  don’t  lie  to  me ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  you  and  me ,  we’re  good  people .  ❜ ❛  hey ,  listen .  i’m  gonna  get  you  out  of  here ,  okay ?  ❜ ❛  sometimes  i  think  you  really  must  hate  me .  ❜ ❛  what  are  you  so  afraid  of ?  ❜ ❛  i  always  knew  you’d  be  the  death  of  me ,  anyway .  ❜ ❛  there’s  nothing  you  could’ve  done .  ❜ ❛  this  can’t  be  happening .  ❜ ❛  i  just  really  thought  i  was  doing  the  right  thing .  ❜ ❛  i  lied  to  you ,  and  i  shouldn’t  have .  ❜ ❛  i  have  never  loved  anyone  the  way  that  i  love  you .  ❜ ❛  can  we  all  just  act  like  we’re  winning  for  once ?  ❜ ❛  i  wasn’t  expecting  you  to  be  cool  about  it ,  but  the  pouting  is  getting  old .  ❜ ❛  am  i  the  only  one  who  didn’t  know ?  ❜ ❛  i  appreciate  everything  you’ve  done .  ❜ ❛  what  are  the  chances  you’ll  sit  this  one  out ?  ❜ ❛  [ name ]’s  never  gonna  forgive  me .  ❜ ❛  you  would  have  done  the  same  thing .  ❜ ❛  don’t  go .  ❜ ❛  i  learned  my  lesson .  ❜ ❛  i  should  have  trusted  you .  ❜ ❛  i  thought  it  was  your  fault .  ❜ ❛  i  plan  to  exploit  you .  ❜ ❛  just  so  everyone’s  clear ,  i’m  my  own  damn  weapon .  ❜ ❛  sorry  i’m  late ,  i  kinda  died .  ❜ ❛  mercy  comes  in  many  forms .  ❜ ❛  i  will  kill  us  both  before  i  let  you  walk  in  service  to  the  devil .  ❜ ❛  if  i  die ,  they  can’t  use  me .  ❜ ❛  i  am  so  very  tired ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  see  you  on  the  other  side .  ❜ ❛  i  care  more  about  this  than  anything  else  in  the  world .  ❜ ❛  you  are  …  extraordinary .  ❜ ❛  i’m  with  you ,  [ name ] .  ❜ ❛  are  you  okay ?  ❜ ❛  would  you  have  done  any  different ?  ❜ ❛  i  would  have  done  everything  different .  ❜

[trustschaos]

nightsung​:

@fatalelity​​…  continued from.

     their relationship fumbled between the lines of reticent affairs and the rarity of affections delivered in spades.  yet, easily as ever addison offered her heart to lauren bloom on a silver platter, for her to toy with, for her to crush on the whims. when floyd told her about lauren’s whereabouts, she reconsidered, once, twice, and thrice before setting afoot into the facility. what are they? there’s no definition, no confirmation, only the late night touches and comforts of each other’s voices ― she likes her, oh god, she likes her so much it hurts. yet, despite addison’s affections for lauren bloom, she remains hesitant to express them.

    after all, it wasn’t that long ago when derek broke her’s when she found laced panties that did not belong to her. she knows she’s playing a dangerous game by giving her heart to a woman who might very well crush it, and trample it again ― a heart could only shatter so many times before it becomes irreparable. oh, she’s so foolish : why does she bare her soul to a woman who didn’t even say goodbye before leaving her confused, stranded, and alone.

    ❛ ― no, it’s fine. it’s not like you’re my girlfriend or anything. you don’t owe me anything. it’s fine. it’s fine. ❜   glassy eyes, stained with a rim of red, the telltale signs of persistent tears that had not ceased its shedding since the night she went away ― she doesn’t dare to look lauren’s way, as if she’s terrified that the moment their eyes meet she’ll fall and crumble to her knees.  

     ❛ goodbye, lauren. ❜she rises to her feet, pressing a kiss against her lips. unwilling to pull away, as if knowing if she did this would be their last. her heart’s bruised as a lone tear stains her cheeks. when she pulls away, she runs out of that door as swiftly as she could before dropping her back against the wall, sobs that were choking her finally tearing from her lips.

she doesn’t know what’s going on with them.  does she ever know what’s going on with them?  has she ever?  not likely.  in her chaos,  why should she have had any idea?  they’d never talked about it.  not really.  she hadn’t ever slowed down enough to allow the chance,  and addison hadn’t seemed all that eager to have a conversation about it either,  so lauren doesn’t exactly feel bad about that.  it’s everything else.  the fact that she hadn’t reached out for help,  that only a select few from the hospital had known where she was going   (   she’s sure there’s some talk about her being on vacation or something,  which is laughable,  were she ever in the mood to laugh   ),   she’s sorry about all of that and more.  but not for the fact that their relationship was so undefined on both sides,  that’s not on her.  not entirely,  anyway.

addison showing up here?  it’d spooked her.  maybe she should’ve asked everyone to keep this all a secret from anyone who hadn’t already known.  first floyd,  now addison,  who’s next?  her mother?  the thought alone sends a chill up lauren’s spine,  prompting a shiver in a woman who has otherwise sat so still she might just be mistaken for a statue.  the absolute last person she needs to deal with right now is jeanie…  which makes her other visitors not seem so bad in comparison.  at least they’ve done a little to break through the numb that’s been bone deep since the car had pulled away from new amsterdam,  bringing her here.  but is that a good thing?  that’s not a subject that’s safe to dwell on right now.

she’s spoken all of ten words since the other woman had walked in,  and she’s sure her general demeanor isn’t helping anything,  but what’s she supposed to do?  pretend everything’s sunshine and rainbows?  no.  it’s not,  and nothing feels like it.  not even a little bit.  if she opens up even a little,  lauren might just crumble,  and she’s not prepared for that.  a place like this was made for vulnerable people in need of help,  and she’d admitted that she needs it,  but now there’s a separation.  now that she’s here and it feels so real and there are strangers everywhere?  well,  addison’s not the only person lauren’s hardly said anything to.  

the continued insistence from the redhead that she’s fine is bullshit,  and if she had more energy?  lauren might argue.  but even a fight is something that would bare too much of her soul and leave the staff here with expectations that she’s just not prepared to meet.  so,  maybe she’s just bound to be here for a while as her ice slowly melts and she finds herself truly able to feel.  whether she wants to or not.  

the kiss is unexpected,  following a goodbye that lauren hadn’t seen coming.  addison hasn’t been here long,  so maybe that’s just a testament to lauren bloom’s sheer inability to have people really intertwined in her life.  she’s destined to keep everyone on the very edge,  and drift in lonely chaos forever.  sounds about right,  given how completely fucked up her entire life has been.  then the kiss ends,  and she takes as long a look at addison’s face as she’s able before she’s gone.  

and maybe if she weren’t so numb,  she’d feel the way her heart’s breaking.

[trustschaos]

we don’t have to like our patients,  but we do have to take care of them,  because whoever they are…  they’re sick and in pain,  and it’s our job to deal with it.   sometimes,  yes,  it is so hard,  but not many people get a chance to make a difference.   A GOOD NURSE CAN.

⋆˚✿˖° GAVEHOPE,   a canon divergent NIC NEVIN of the resident,   by zanza.

[trustschaos]

past the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries, beyond the terror in the nightfall, haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime, leave it all behind.

𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 : an independent, canon divergent, mutuals-only roleplay blog for lucy knight from the television show ER, beloved by dana !! (template)

[trustschaos]

i don’t know why the rpc goes through these cycles where,  seemingly out of nowhere,  people just stop interacting with other people as a whole.  it can be so discouraging,  and honestly?  even a like on an edit or a headcanon goes a long way.  it doesn’t matter if you unlike later,  but even a tiny sign of appreciation is the sort of thing that can make someone’s day a little brighter and it takes just a second.  so,  send headcanon memes,  send regular memes,  like posts,  just??  let people know they’re appreciated,  because everyone seems to be feeling this and there are so many quick and easy ways to fix it!  

[trustschaos]

✎ㅤ. . .ㅤ𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑶𝑵 𝑸𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.

₊˚⊹ ㅤa collection of character analysis /headcanon questions to learn more about your character and your partners'! writing/headcanon prompts requested by anonymous. feel free to edit these as you see fit.

[ 🖐️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do their hands feel like: soft, calloused, trembling ? [ ☂️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they crave touch or fear it ? [ 🎐 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a sound, like a song or voice, that they associate with peace ? [ 🕊️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen did they feel the safest ? [ 💤 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they sleep ? curled up, sprawled, holding onto something ? [ 🦇 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a fear they never talk about ? [ 🔒 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ? [ 🪢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they broke a promise ? [ 🫳 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they feel they owe, but never paid back ? [ 💼 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat do they always carry with them ? [ 🧨 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the quickest way to set them off, even if they hide it well ? [ ⛓️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does guilt feel like to them ? [ 💢 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho have they never forgiven and never will ? [ 🩸 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there something or someone that, if lost, would break them ? [ 🌧️ ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ? [ 🪞 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen have they looked at their reflection and hated what they saw ? [ 📿 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat superstition or ritual do they cling to ? [ 🌊 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhen was the last time they cried ? [ 🐾 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo animals like them instinctively ? [ 🪶 ]ㅤ.ㅤhow do they laugh ? [ 🫀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho taught them what love is ? did it hurt ? [ 💭 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they believe they’re worthy of being loved ? [ 🎀 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is their main love language ? [ 🔦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwho do they search for ? [ 📜 ]ㅤ.ㅤis there a story they love sharing with others ? [ 🌒 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a dream or goal they have given up on ? [ 🕯️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat memory do they replay when they’re alone ? [ 🌪️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s the one choice they regret (not) making ? [ 🧩 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ? [ 🍻 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of drunk are they ? [ ✉️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of letter would they write but never send ? [ 🗡️ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat is a scar that they have but never talk about ? [ 🕸️ ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a favourite lie they like to hear ? [ 🪦 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat would they want on their gravestone but never admit aloud ? [ 🎱 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat kind of future do they crave, and who’s in it ? [ 🌀 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they have a recurring dream or nightmare ? [ 🍃 ]ㅤ.ㅤdo they feel like they belong ? [ ⚓ ]ㅤ.ㅤwhat does “home” mean to them ? [ 🧭 ]ㅤ.ㅤwhere would they go if they could disappear tomorrow ?

[trustschaos]

               𝗜 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗠𝗬 𝗣𝗘𝗢𝗣𝗟𝗘.

lauren bloom of nbc's new amsterdam, by zanza.