ttwowas

[ttwowas]

Constant Grief

What happens when love has nowhere to go? Where does it want to be? Within you is not meant to be.

Looking for an escape, it will punch, it will kick. It just wants to run. It will make you cry, it will make you sick. It cannot be held back.

I'm starting to believe there's more than just one kind of grief, just as there's more than one kind of love. "What is grief if not love persevering?" Well, I think is also love not knowing its purpose. Love without a target, love without a goal.

Do we grief the love, do we grief ourselves? There was suppose to be somebody else.

Grief will not leave. It can change, it can grow. But you won't let go; as it is the mirror of you want most.

Welcome it, accept it; as you are not alone. We all have our own. The constant companion for the lonely road.

[ttwowas]

Launch

I need to catch myself before I fall,

I need to know where I’ll land before I launch.

Who am I to think that I can fly?

I don’t see wings, who told me this lie?

I had the map, why am I lost?

I strayed away from the path,

Trying to soak up the most.

I stare into the abyss,

It looks way too familiar.

I’m not a weary traveler,

But a guest that crossed the barrier.

Waking up inside the dream,

I cut my palm to see it bleed,

Am I in control?

Is this what it is?

The droplets fall, then disappear;

The silence echoes my biggest fears.

“I know you”, I say loud and clear.

The shadow stares back,

“Aren’t you glad to see me again, my dear?”

Like an old friend nostalgia takes me,

To the places I’ve begun to fear.

Where the sun can’t reach,

And all I see is tears.

I don’t like it here,

I don’t want to go back,

I thought I learned my lesson,

Not to steer off-track.

[ttwowas]

Do not set my expectations high because I will use your words against you.

[ttwowas]

“Can I talk to someone? I want to be recast.”

[ttwowas]

Apparently, my favorite sport is to get my heartbroken.

By myself.

[ttwowas]

I never am.

I never was.

Will I ever?

[ttwowas]

Instead of encouragement, you gave me pressure.

It broke me.

Now I’m putting myself back together.

[ttwowas]

Like the broken record I am,

Loneliness is a bitch.

[ttwowas]

Trapped in the fire of my own making.

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I keep getting my hopes up for nothing.

[ttwowas]

sweeping prairies and endless skies

[ttwowas]

☁️ BLISS ☁️

[ttwowas]

This time is me.

This time I’m the one keeping myself up, I’m the one giving myself an anxious time.

[ttwowas]

Rosy afternoons 🌷

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[ttwowas]

I hate that you were a lesson.

[ttwowas]

Friendships will be the death of me.

[ttwowas]

Just a girl with constant unreciprocated love.