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Dick: Okay, so with Bruce being on a mission with the Justice League, we need someone to be Batman.

Jason: So you just be Batman again

Damian: Actually, I strongly disagree with that arrangement

Tim: Don't tell me.... you think you should be Batman?

Damian: No, I'm aware I don't have the same attitude to be Father

Jason: really?... just the attitude?

Damian: I believe Cain should be Batman

Cassandra: Oh?

Dick: Umm.... Dami, I don't think-

Damian: Think about it. Grayson is too nice, Jason has way too much pent-up anger

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian: And well Drake is just..... Drake

Tim: Wow...

Damian: Cain is the only person who can match Father to a T.

Dick: There are many reasons why she can't be-

Jason: No, no, no, Dick. The demon child has a point

Dick: ..... um, okay then

(Later thar night)

Penguin: About time you showed up-

Cassandra (in Bat suit): You'll pay for your crimes

Penguin: ..... the hell am I looking at?

Robin: What?

Penguin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT? WHO IS THIS?

Red Hood: Batman, duh

Penguin: No, don't do that

Nightwing: Don't do what? This is Batman

Penguin: That's obviously a teenage girl

The Batkids: (gasps loudly and in sync)

Penguin: WHAT?!

Red Hood: How dare you assume his gender.

Robin: During Pride Month, too

Red Robin: (shaking his head) and here I thought you were an alley

Penguin: okay no just take me in

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you're cute and it's tuesday

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POV: You're a gothamite and interrupted their little batfamily chit-chat session.

Art by Dylan Burnett (Instagram: @dylrburnett)

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You know how the Robins were trained to be able to fight enemies way bigger than them, since they started really young and also were taught by Batman (a Very Big Guy)?

It just occured to me that the reverse is also true: Batman is very good at fighting very short enemies.

I wonder if it ever came up.

Like if someone was trying to use their smaller size to their advantage and surprise Batman but it's just. Impossible. There is no move his little hypercompetent gremlins didn't already try against him.

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tumblr is for putting your stuff somewhere that's not secret but also not for anyone particular to see so it's true neutral in a really nice way

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It’s funny how sacabambaspis is like the funniest looking animal in every hypothetical except for that one picture that makes me feel like I’m about to be killed

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It’s funny how sacabambaspis is like the funniest looking animal in every hypothetical except for that one picture that makes me feel like I’m about to be killed

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frank castle and matthew murdock dynamic of allllll timeeeee. they represent different sides of the vigilante spectrum. frank fully goes by his government name, doesn't wear a mask, and kills freely. matt has a secret identity and draws the line at taking a life. both have a clearly violent nature that they enjoy indulging. BOTH ARE NEW YORK CATHOLICS. matt was frank's LAWYER. matt somehow knows where frank's hideout is??? frank is one of the few people in the world that knows that matt is daredevil??? there's clearly some loyalty there between the two?? ANNNNNND they like the same girl goodbye im gonna be obsessed with them forever.

and frank even has a cutie nickname just for matt. do not even get me started on that.

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Dick lays like a beautiful princess and Roy lays like a cartoon character who just had an anvil fall on him

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Dick remembered a word to say when people are yelling!! man, I wonder where he learned that...

He does get very upset when he learns it's bad to say,, Bruce isn't mad of course he thinks it's hilarious

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wing au 🪽

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borderline flirting with your best friend over the phone while your basically naked wife is in the room is crazy work

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this is how it sounds when people try and connect matt's catholic guilt to his sexuality in mattfoggy fics