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Baby.
Text
Family Values Scipt
By: Laila Akili
10/22/23
Cast:
Mom (Yvonne Doubois)- black French-American, early 40s
Harleen Doubois- black French-American, mid teens
Setting & Time: In the kitchen of the the Doubois home
HARLEEN walks into the house coming in with multiple shopping/grocery bags on their arms looking overwhelmingly flustered and slightly annoyed as they make their way to the kitchen. In the kitchen MOM is cooking lunch.
HARLEEN: (somewhat out of breath, dropping the bags to the floor) Jésus Christ. Il fait chaud comme l'enfer! [Jesus Christ! It’s hot as hell!]
MOM: (not looking up from the meal they are preparing) Don’t say hell, Leeny.
HARLEEN: Ma, hell isn’t a bad word, it’s just a place. (finally catching her breath, as they reach for some of the food MOM is making)
MOM: Aht, aht. (smacking her daughter’s hand away)
HARLEEN: Ow! (moving their hand as they reach for a bag on the kitchen island)
MOM: (slightly stern) Harleen. Stop reaching for stuff that isn’t yours.
HARLEEN: I’ve been out all day running errands in this heat and carried all this stuff by myself. You coulda helped a girl out.
MOM: (with uppity sarcasm) You’re young and spry. I had so much faith in you bringing in those bags, that I decided to stay in here and cook lunch for my magnificent daughter. (smiling) Also you the one that chose to wear a sweatshirt and pants.
HARLEEN: (rebutting with sarcasm) Ha…funny. C’est Octobre, I thought it’d be cold [It’s October], but should’ve known better. Gotta love that global warming! (looking at the bag, while stealing food from the cutting board) Who’s it for anyway?
MOM: The stuff wrapped in the bag is for a client, Leeny.
HARLEEN: Mais, qui pensait? [But, who though?]
MOM: C’est pour Bradley et Oslo. [It’s for Bradley and Oslo.]
HARLEEN: (questionably) I thought Bradley’s husband was named Cillian?
MOM: (making a face) Well, that’s his ex husband’s name.
(HARLEEN’s eyes widen)
MOM: Long story short, I saw an old coworker at the market while I was looking for some saffron and some pots and baking sheets. So of course we started chatting. It was Ms. Amy; long red hair, big ol’ glasses, really tall, always wearing them big hoops… Any who. I was like, “I was just going to check in on you, how ya doing? What’s happening at the firm?” And they were like, “Nothing crazy, except for the whole Bradley thing.” And of course me being me, I asked what it was. Then she told me Bradley ain’t with Cillian no more. So I’m standing there puzzled… So he got remarried and didn’t tell anyone? I was like what happened to his husband and kids?
HARLEEN: (in shock) Oh…well…that’s…disappointing.
MOM: I mean who would do such a thing, those poor children…
HARLEEN: (serious) Uh, your mom. Your own mother would do ‘such a thing’. Hell, even your own husband would do such a thing, and your father.
MOM: Tu sais quoi [You know what] Harleen, just scrap it alright.
HARLEEN: Bradley and Cillian’s kids will be fine, they’re smart kids. I mean, I turned out fine despite everything. You were always there, working hard, for every year of my life. Dad, Nana, Pops, they didn’t do nothing besides send us that nasty ass jello from Spain. I mean, where were they three years ago when you got sick, huh?! (MOM stops cooking and looks up) They were just traveling the world getting tickets and passes for their next adventure. Please… Those people are menaces, and they don’t deserve you! “Oh, Bonnie, nous sommes vraiment désolés de ne pas avoir pu être là lorsque tu as subi une opération chirurgicale majeure, nous avons juste dû aller voir le Louvre et prendre de la gelée, et voir La Joconde.” [Oh, Bonnie, we are so sorry we couldn’t be there when you had major surgery, we just had to go see Le Louvre and get some jello, and see La Joconde.] They can go to hell! We lived there for years, they coulda seen the damn painting then. And what’s up with old people wanting jello?! (calming down, slight pause) It’s easy to eat I guess…
MOM: (looks intensely, then bursts into laughter) Ahahahaha.“C'est quoi ces vieux et la gelée? [What’s with old people and jello?]” (laughter) Leeny, you really funny! Maybe them sending jello is a sign of love for ol’ folk. I mean, I’d give my grandkids a pound of fancy ass Spanish jello.
HARLEEN: Ma!
MOM: Lenny, I think…I…I know that things were hard when everything happened. But I will say Dad pulled through in the end, sorta kinda. (pause, slightly talking under their breath) Menaces to society is never singular, always plural, should’ve known better. (speaking back at their daughter) Weirdly enough, I was happy that it happened, helped me realize what and who was truly important. Et cette personne, c'est toi, Harleen. [And that person is you, Harleen.] You were always there, you helped me see life differently and I wouldn’t have started my business without your motivation. Now everything is exactly how it should be…Je t’aime Leeny.
(HARLEEN making their way around the kitchen island standing in front of MOM)
HARLEEN: He shoulda been… all of them shoulda been there from the beginning. Ils ne te méritent pas. [They don’t deserve you.] (a pause, giving a warm hug) Je t’aime Ma.
END
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