tundrrra - Tumblr blog

[tundrrra]

Argyle is autistic and ADHD

[tundrrra]

[tundrrra]

Billy feels ONLY RIVALRY for Steve.

[tundrrra]

Also hilarious to me watching 80s movies knowing billys based on the bullies in those films but have you ever seen an 80s movie bully? They’re fucking insane. Billy quite literally is a puppy compared to them like he actually didn’t do shit to 1. Make anyone scared of him and 2. Make y’all this fucking weird about people liking him

[tundrrra]

This is not wank. It's just a general statement.

There's nothing wrong with feeling bad for Billy. Even if you dislike him as a character, having sympathy for him as an abuse survivor is the bare minimum. If you're mad at Billy because his story made you care about him for a moment, then that might just be something you have to work through. That's not the fault of the character, and caring about characters who represent people who are difficult to love isn't a character flaw on your part. You're not betraying anyone by caring about Billy. It's normal to feel emotional about characters who has been explicitly abused even if you dislike what they say or do in the narrative.

It is okay to dislike Billy, but it should never stand in the way of letting you feel what you feel about his story.

[tundrrra]

I’ve talked before about the obvious difference between these two scenes, but I wanted to make a post specifically about it because it’s an important point in informing both characters’ experiences pre-Hawkins.

Max is surprised and confused in a way she would not be if this was something Billy did commonly. The bickering and shouting at each other was the norm, this is new, she was not expecting it. She even explicitly says so later on that it was not the norm back in California. (It’s also worth noting that it doesn’t become the norm, it’s an aberration. By season 3 they’re back on even keel.)

Billy is not surprised. Even at the moment of impact he is resigned, he is deeply familiar with how this goes. He’s already anticipating the slap. He’s also trying to remain stoic until his father leaves the room to avoid making things worse, he doesn’t allow himself to react until he’s out of immediate danger.

These are not the reactions of two characters with the same experiences with violence.

[tundrrra]

au where billy did sleep with k*ren and he expects this to be a recurring thing because 1. no ones ever rejected him before and 2. hes grown this fucked up attachment to her attention. except she ignores him the next time they run into each other and after enough pressing from billy she tells him they cant see each other anymore and shes gotta think of her family etc etc and billy… does not handle it well. damn near blows up except theyre in public so hes gotta keep some relative cool, even if he does still garner a few looks from passersby. 

and then billy just… gets drunk. spends the rest of the day wasted until its the middle of the night and he ends up on the train tracks, lying down in the middle staring up the stars wondering what the hell is so wrong with him that no one wants to stick around and love him

and then theres headlights. and a car rolling to a stop. and a door opening and footsteps approaching and “hargrove? the hell are you doing?”

and of course harrington shows up at a time like this because what the fuck else could go wrong in his life right now. as if he needed another reminder of everything he doesnt have. cant have.

and billy doesnt have the energy. can only slur out “fuck off harrington” and honestly steves a okay with that. is about to leave until theres the sound of a train off the in the distance. and billys not moving. 

“id probably get up if i were you unless you wanna be turned into ground meat.” and steves voice is still casual. the train still far enough away that i doesnt feel like a present danger just yet.

“told you to fuck off.”

the train gets closer. billys not moving.

“seriously hargrove, get up.”

no response. no movement. train getting louder. 

“billy. get up!”

steve can feel the rumble in his feet. makes a split second decision. lunges for billy and grabs him by his shirt, pulling him up and falling backward just barely escaping collision. he trips over his feet, falls flat on his back with billy on top of him as the train roars by.

and billys…. laughing? steves heart is about to beat out of his chest and billy fucking hargrove is laughing on top of him. except.

the train passes by, night going quiet again, and steve can recognize the shaking in billys body for what it is. hes fucking… crying. sobbing. like steves never seen anyone do, let alone the biggest prick hes ever had the displeasure of meeting.

and hes just kind of frozen. not knowing what to do or how to respond. but he doesnt push billy away. lets him cry, scream into the night. find whatever catharsis this is supposed to be even if steve is left confused as shit about whatever the hell is going on

(he’ll find out eventually. in bits and pieces. find out nancys fucking mother is worse than he ever couldve imagined. and maybe next time hes at the wheelers he sneaks off to the master bath. finds karens side of the vanity and grabs her red lipstick. leaves an i know what you did on her mirror. watches her sweat it out after. how the guilt and shame eats away at her. and billy wont let him tell anyone. wont let him do anything that would actually help, but. steve finds ways to remind karen shes not off the hook, in his own little ways.)

[tundrrra]

[tundrrra]

the whole fandom is wrong about this blorbo EXCEPT. my besties. they r right

[tundrrra]

It’s the same thing guys

Thats it.

That’s the whole post 😭

[tundrrra]

two idiots fighting worst fight i ever seen

[tundrrra]

Por que no las dos?

[tundrrra]

[tundrrra]

Merry Christmas and happy holidays! 🎄🎁

🔪🔪🔪 в вк не репостить🔪🔪🔪  

[tundrrra]

Steve desired Billy carnally. Joe Keery told me himself

[tundrrra]

I wish I could just… not be affected by it when people within fandom look at a character who is surviving abuse and respond to their imperfections with ‘they deserve it,’ ‘they are beyond redemption,’ ‘they are too far gone,’ ‘they deserve to die’ …I wish I could feel nothing in place of the anguish I actually feel because of what a reminder it is to me of how easily people give up on people like us.

[tundrrra]

Billy taking an instant dislike to Jason but then subtly flirting with him so no one else catches on but Jason 100% knows what he is doing and keeps getting flustered or panicked. Except, whenever he tells people Billy is clearly into guys they laugh in his face and say, "Hargrove? No way you're just paranoid" so he's left seething, confused and slowly losing it. Billy thoroughly enjoys watching it and Steve finds it hilarious whenever he gets updates from him.