turbonicflaws

[turbonicflaws]

‘you don’t experience guilt or remorse, so why do you apologise?’

{as always this is just my experience with my own disorders that stop me from being able to feel guilt or remorse}

generally speaking, i do view apologising to be pointless because i view things i do in two categories, those are the things i meant to do and the things i have done accidentally. both come with their own reasons as to why i think apologies aren’t helpful, these are as follows:

things i intentionally did - as far as i see it, if i meant to do it then why would i apologise? i did it knowingly, willingly and intentionally so an apology doesn’t really have any use because i’m obviously not sorry for doing what i wanted to do.

things i did by accident - if i didn’t mean to do something then why should i apologise? i wasn’t trying to hurt you so technically no one is at fault and therefore no apology should be socially necessary.

i understand this may not make a whole lot of sense since my reasoning for not apologising in the second point does imply that there is need for an apology in the first, however i just don’t view apologies as necessary at all.

this is further amplified by the fact that most people apologise out of feeling guilty or remorseful about their actions, which are things i’m not capable of experiencing so i have no drive to say ‘sorry’ in that sense either.

so why do i apologise when i upset someone i care for?

this is simply because i’ve come to realise that just because the way i operate doesn’t align with the ‘normal’ use for an apology, doesn’t mean that i can’t use it in a way that makes sense to me.

i only use it when i believe i’ve accidentally inflicted hurt or upset onto someone i care for (mostly just my FP/EP if i’m being honest), therefore i will never apologise for anything that i’ve intended to do. when i apologise for any accidental harm i’ve caused, i use it as more of an acknowledgment that i’ve done something wrong and i didn’t mean to rather than as any sort of expression of guilt or remorse, etc.

i use it as both a way of just fitting in i suppose since it is the social norm to use it, but mostly just as a way of going ‘ok yeh, didn’t mean to do that’. just because i can’t feel any strong emotion towards it, other than my crippling anxiety about abandonment towards my FP/EP, doesn’t mean it isn’t genuine. it just means something different to me.

i hope this makes sense.

[turbonicflaws]

REEALL

"let's not be ableist!", "every mental illness should be respected" and "using slurs, especially ones that based on illnesses is wrong!" people after they call every abusive and evil person they met "narcissist", "psychopath" and "sociopath":😂👍

[turbonicflaws]

my friends are so cool I love them. :-) yes. all of THEM!!! i want tumblr to know that my friends are awezome . im putting glitter under your pillows TONIGHT!!!!!