turntechtimegoddess

[turntechtimegoddess]

i enjoyed this very much, thank you andrew huang.

[turntechtimegoddess]

when i was in 5th grade we were reading books to preschoolers and we were reading the book about gay penguins and we asked if anyone knew anyone that was gay and one girl raised her hand saying that she had two moms and then from the back of the classroom a boy started crying and when we asked why he said it wasn’t fair because he only had one mom and she got two and he wanted two moms also

[turntechtimegoddess]

[turntechtimegoddess]

Every time I see these two colors together… 💚💗

[turntechtimegoddess]

If I Were a Lawyer ⚖ by Thomas Sanders

[turntechtimegoddess]

Don’t believe the voices in your head. They come from the people you’re learning to forget.

E. B. Matthews (via wordsnquotes)

[turntechtimegoddess]

Send me "New Years Kiss" and my muse will give yours a kiss at midnight on New Years!

Specify if you want it as a starter or Drabble/Mini fic!

[turntechtimegoddess]

a really long, but categorized, ask meme

ACTIONS - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

*Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*

*Slaps you*

*Kisses you on the lips*

*Bites your lip*

*Rubs your shoulders*

*Dumps ice water over your head*

*Winks at you*

*Flips hair at you*

*Throws a ball of paper towards you*

*Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*

*Slams the door shut behind you*

*Storms out of the room*

*Wraps my arms around you from behind*

*Kisses your neck*

*Nibbles on your earlobe*

*Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*

*Strokes your hair*

*Caresses your cheek*

*Holds you in my arms*

QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION

“You’re cute and I’m horny. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I see you like cardio… wanna go back to my place and do it together?”

“I’m sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think they’re missing an angel.”

“Hold my hand? I’m afraid I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

“Are you a pokemon? Because I’d like to peek-at-chu.”

“If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, I’d have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you.”

“Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. It’s back at my house, so we’d have to go there but…”

*Spills a drink on your shirt* “I’m so sorry! But if it’s any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.”

QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“I don’t know you, but thanks.”

“You’re a very nice guy/girl, you know that?”

“We only just met… but I’d really like to see you again.”

“Do you think you could move your ass out of my friend’s seat?”

“It’s none of your business. We just met.”

“Hey I’m [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if you’d pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?”

“I’m so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to trip you I swear, I’m sorry.”

QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION

“Did you get that email I sent you last night?”

“No, I’m serious. She/he brought a flask to work.”

“I overheard the boss and I think you’re about to be put up for a promotion!”

“I know what you’ve got in that top drawer.”

“I can’t believe you’re drunk at work.”

“You know, most people watch porn at home.”

“Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband.”

“Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I can’t even open Gmail!”

“If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe you’d have a chance at a promotion too.”

“You’ve been working here for 6 years and you don’t know where the break room is?”

QUOTES - SCHOOL EDITION

“Didn’t you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!”

“We lost the playoffs.”

“The girls team beat the boys!”

“I heard he/she got called into the principal’s office.”

“Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours.”

“I heard they were fucking in the bathroom.”

“She/he’s been paying people to do their homework!”

“She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth.”

“I can’t believe we’re graduating this year.”

“Being a freshman sucks.”

“I slept with a sophomore last weekend.”

“She/he told me they were a junior!”

“Why are those freshmen staring at you?”

“Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?”

“How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?”

“Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!”

“I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“I definitely failed that test.”

“I got an A on my essay!”

QUOTES - SASS EDITION

“Wow, there’s a stick wedged so far up your ass I don’t think I can even pull it out.”

“I’m sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number.”

“Uranus called and said I’m huge and in the way.”

“I’m searching… searching… oh. Well would you look at that. I couldn’t find any fucks to give.”

“What’s the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains.”

“Just because that’s mistletoe hanging above us doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“At this point you might as well ask for my autograph.”

QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION

“You know I’m right! I’m always right!”

“Shut up. Just shut up!”

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

“You’re lying.”

“I can’t believe you’d say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you.”

“I can’t look at you.”

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“If you say one more word, I swear…”

“Pipe down, you’re making a scene.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Now I know why people think you’re neurotic.”

“You must be crazy.”

“I’m not backing down.”

“You can’t hide the truth forever, you know.”

“What’s your issue?”

“You make me so angry.”

“This has nothing to do with you.”

QUOTES - LOVERS EDITION

“And… and I love you! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”

“I don’t know how to say it. But you know what I’m trying to say, right?”

“I’ve never been good at this. I don’t do relationships. But I… I want to try with you.”

“You’re the one that I want.”

“I don’t care. I don’t give a shit, don’t you get it? I don’t give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I love you.”

“Please don’t say that. You know you’re the only one for me. Fuck everyone else.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but you’re still the only thought on my mind.”

“I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life.”

“I’ve always been afraid of commitment, okay? That’s why I sleep around.”

“I’ve never wanted to give love a try until now.”

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I need you more than you will ever know.”

“I love you more than I could ever express in words.”

QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION

*Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*

“I didn’t fuck him/her, I swear!”

“I brought vodka and ice cream.”

“You left your anal beads at my house. Wait… no, they’re just normal mardi gras beads.”

“I can’t believe you went without me!”

“I love you, I love you so much and you just don’t see it. What am I supposed to do?”

“I know you’re sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!”

“I can’t find my apartment and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Let me in! I think I’m gonna throw up.”

QUOTES - NSFW EDITION

“What do you think about this outfit?”

“Bend over.”

“It’s not going to get up by itself, you know.”

“I thought you’d be bigger.”

“Where did we leave those damned handcuffs?”

“I can’t find my vibrator.”

“Just set your phone on vibrate!”

“I want to fuck you until you’re raw and shaking.”

“That’s it… do a little striptease for me.”

“You can watch… but you can’t touch.”

“Be quiet! They’re going to hear us.”

“And get this… the new toy? It glows in the dark.”

“I’ve got two flavours. Cherry or fruit punch?”

“I want to be on top.”

“That is one fine ass.”

“You look like a screamer.”

“Let me tie you up.”

“What’ll our safeword be?”

“I love making you squirm.”

“Not my neck! It’s summer, I can’t wear a turtleneck in the sun.”

TEXTS - DRUNK EDITION

[TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?

[TEXT] I can’t stop listening to our song.

[TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.

[TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.

[TEXT] Do you even love me?

[TEXT] What happened to us?

[TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.

[TEXT] IM26C4U.

[TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.

[TEXT] I couldn’t care less.

[TEXT] Now you know how it feels.

[TEXT] I still love you.

[TEXT] I can’t stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved me… and wondering if they were lies.

TEXTS - NSFW EDITION

[TEXT] You can’t have me if you can’t even get the three C’s. Chocolates, champagne, and candles.

[TEXT] I’m in the bath… come join me?

[TEXT] Don’t tease. You know I like it rough.

[TEXT] Bed, counter, or floor?

[TEXT] If you can get here in five minutes I’ll suck you off first.

[TEXT] What do you think about threesomes? And, what about foursomes?

[TEXT] You’ve been naughty, I’m going to punish you.

[TEXT] I can’t believe you just sent me that. I’m at work/school!

TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION

[TEXT] I fell down the stairs and… well, I’m in the ER.

[TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and I’m waiting with them at the hospital but I can’t do this alone.

[TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??

[TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and I’m stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.

[TEXT] I don’t know what happened I was just cooking and then all of a sudden the pasta was on fire!

[turntechtimegoddess]

Quick Start: Your Muse finds Mine, on the Floor and badly injured! How do they React?

[turntechtimegoddess]

[turntechtimegoddess]

rpmemesupreme:

Source

“EXCUSE YOU, I AM A HOT FAIRY.”

“I’ll kick a tree’s ass.”

“You should seduce the boat!”

“I killed a man today. In space. On a dragon. With a shovel.”

“Can I have flaming pistols?”

“No, you may not make a human centipede out of your army of 50 children.”

“Can I pay them money not to come near me?”

“I’m pretty sure fish don’t accept money.”

“I don’t know what we need to bleed on.”

“Let’s bleed on everything, just to be safe.”

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say we’re not going to solve this problem by bleeding on it.”

“Your ass is not a weapon you are proficient with.”

“That is the only dwarf ass I’m going to draw for you today.”

“Oh shit, I forgot the princess.”

“Did you just pull a gun out of your hair?”

“Who just carries spiders around in their pockets?!”

“He fought like he lived… Full of spears.”

“Ok, so there’s a lot of teeth in this water.”

“I’m not sure how to split a throne evenly. We all have a sitting schedule?”

“How many noses are going into this chicken?”

“We just turned a ritualistic orphan sacrifice chamber into a nightclub.”

“You started a cult!?”

“We need to give this guy a proper burial. After we loot his body. And take his teeth.”

“Yeah, he’s a ghost now. But I can punch ghosts, so it’s fine.”

“Have you ever seen a dragon choke on one hundred and thirty five orphans? Because you’re about to.”

“I can be responsible for my own severed leg, thank you.”

“Look, if I’m going to be a part of this Badger Cult, I expect career options!”

“I can’t believe you just pre-battle blazed it.”

“You lose the moral high ground after the second murder.”

 “I am literally dying for your sins right now! Do not fuck this up for me!”

“Summon the monkeys! They will be relevant!”

“What happens if you die in Hell?” “Double Hell.”

“Long term goal: we put your corpse on the airship.”

“Does it still count as ‘evil’ if I feel really bad about it?”

“Everyone is ambidextrous until proven otherwise.”

“You blew up the sun!”

“Hold my record player, I’m going in.”

“I have never tried to stab you in a combat situation!”

“Want to use my knife? It’s only been used for our own ritual blood-letting.”

“I’m not sure we can even beat a log right now. We must negotiate with it.”

Out of Context D&D Quote Starters:

[turntechtimegoddess]

Making love was never about you and me in a bed. We made love whenever we held hands.

Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You  (via wordsnquotes)

[turntechtimegoddess]

Send me ㊁ and a URL, and my muse will truthfully reveal how they feel about your muse:

Who are you again? ║ I feel awkward around you ║ I want to be your friend so bad but I don’t know what to say ║ I wish you would just go away ║ I think you’re pretty cool ║ I don’t know you personally but I see you on the dashboard a lot ║ I only know your name and nothing else about you║ We hooked up once or twice ║ I never want to speak to you again ║ I wish you’d leave me alone ║ I want to go on a date with you ║ I like you  ║ I love you ║ I loathe you ║ Ugh you again ║ I’m indifferent to you ║ You’re very hot  ║ I want to marry you ║ You’re cute ║ You are my baby ║ I want your baby ║ You are my bae ║ You’re my favorite ║ I’m in love with you ║ I’m in like with you ║ I want your baby ║ I wish we could spend more time together ║ I want to hang out with you more ║ I admire you ║ Maybe we could hang out sometime? ║ I’d like to get to know you better ║ I’m secretly in love with you ║ I want to give things another try with us ║ You’re someone I look up to ║ I want to give us a try ║ You seem very nice ║ You’re pretty popular ║ I’m envious of you ║ I’m worried about you ║ You piss me off ║ I consider us friends ║ I consider us buddies ║ I consider us acquaintances ║ I consider us family ║ I’d fuck you ║ I want that ass ║ I want to raise up a pet together ║ I want to have your kids ║ I want to be your fuck buddy ║ I want to kill you ║ You get on my nerves ║ I want you to stop talking to me ║ I hope we can be friends for a long time ║ I hope we can be together forever

[turntechtimegoddess]

Send me “Freak!” for my muse’s reaction to being called this.

[turntechtimegoddess]

Send me ❣ and my muse will tell you what they love the most about yours

[turntechtimegoddess]

Send me ✘ and my muse will tell you what they hate the most about yours