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turned 15

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Just made this meme

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The Black Gay Asexual Potential of the Fifteenth Doctor (And Why It Will Never Happen) - Mini Essay

If you're wondering if any of these words are in the Bible, walk with me for a second!

Obviously the Doctor being Black is a huge moment for Black representation but also for Black queer representation in particular. After his smooch with Rogue and alleged hot summer with Houdini, RTD isn't shying away from an openly gay incarnation of the Doctor (bearing in mind, he's not the first as the Doctor's been queer, okay!). Plus the show is fully aware of Ncuti Gatwa's attractiveness with constant references to his hotness throughout the season and Ms Cherry Sunday catching feelings (good for her). But one aspect that's rarely spoken about is Fifteen as an asexual character. If the Doctor is an asexual character being played by a Black man in the main lineup for the very first time, we essentially have the very first Black asexual main character not only in the show's history, but in queer TV/Film history. And that would be huge. Groundbreaking even. But many fans (and likely RTD himself) aren't seeing Fifteen as asexual like previous incarnations. From the cries of the Doctor 'finally' becoming gay (like he didn't lipse Jack back in '05), the Doctor 'finally' becoming hot or the Doctor 'finally' being 'allowed to fuck', it's like Fifteen's asexuality has been erased before it could even exist to begin with. And whilst non-asexual gay identity deserves its representation too, especially as it's lacking for dark skin Black gay men, I can't help noticing the erasure not only of the potential of Fifteen's asexuality, but the non existent conversation about it in the first place and how it feeds into the long erasure of Black and gay identity from the face of the asexual spectrum and asexual representation as a whole.

Black asexual representation is rare, with the only Black asexual main character in film history being Selah Summers of Selah and the Spades. The only Black asexual boy in TV history is the recent character Elijah in Big Mouth. The sexualisation and desexualisation of Blackness play a key role in why Black aces are nonexistent in TV/Film. Through tropes like the Mandingo and the Jezebel and the fetishes of ebony and BBC, Black people are assumed to have an insatiable, animalistic sexual appetite stemming from slavery. Ncuti Gatwa's actually spoken about experiencing this fetishisation in white gay spaces. In reverse, tropes like the Mammy desexualise Black people, Black women especially. If Black people can't serve a sexual purpose then we have no sexuality at all and must give ourselves to exclusively performing domestic and physical labour. When you're asexual these stereotypes manifest in the most confusing way possible. On top of navigating a sexuality that's largely invisible itself already, you're balancing the sexual stereotypes of your desire that don't exist because of your alleged undesirability but also exist strongly enough to stop you from actually being asexual.

Prominent Black aroace activist and model Yasmin Benoit is the prime example as her aspec identity is constantly attacked by white conservatives and white TERFs, claiming she's 'too sexy' to be asexual. Even in outfits where she's fully dressed, the white conservative right sees her as too sexual to be asexual and that she is a 'heterosexual' sexual grifter. In other contexts, white conservatives and TERFs see her as 'sexualising asexuality' because she wears lingerie as a model whilst existing as an aroace (the horror!). In that respect they do recognise asexuality exists, but not for her specifically. Asexuality is real, but not in Black people. These stereotypes also manifest inside the asexual community itself. The image of the asexual in most people's minds, is a nerdy awkward white man (The Sheldon), a smart too-busy-for-a-girlfriend white man (The Sherlock) or if we're really, really lucky, the previous but a white woman (The Florence from Sex Education). Whilst ace visibility slowly grows and progress is still being made, Black asexuality is still missing from the conversation. Plus when you look at 'acceptable' asexual Doctors the incarnations form qwhite an interesting pattern. Socially, the idea of asexuality aligns closer with incarnations like One and Twelve, heavily explaining why claiming those two as ace is least likely to be controversial (The Aztec fans notwithstanding). #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike was created by Benoit for this very reason. Black asexual men in ace activist circles such as Tyger Songbird and Marshall Blount have spoken about the erasure of Black men from asexuality specifically. The stereotypes about Black men's sexuality in particular like the Mandingo, the thug and the player can make it difficult for many Black men to come to terms with asexuality because of the sexual stereotypes they're societally expected to live up to. The Doctor Who fandom played into this a bit as I still remember the jokes about 'BBC having new meaning' once Ncuti Gatwa was cast. Whilst not necessarily hinging on his Blackness, there were also many memes and hyperfocus on Ncuti Gatwa's arse and crotch and large reactions to his nude magazine shoots. Whilst it's important not to stigmatise sexual desire whether it's of Fifteen himself or of the gay, bi and pan fans who find him attractive as their desire towards men is already stigmatised in wider society, sexual attraction to Black people doesn't an ally make. And participation in sex and sexuality is not unconditional, permanent consent. There's a difference between sexual attraction and sexualisation. Recognising someone as sexually attractive isn't at odds with recognising their own autonomy as a sexual being. And shouldn't be. From the already addressed sexualisation and invalidation of Yasmin Benoit's asexuality and aromanticism, the long history of the sexualisation of Black people and the specific sexual stereotyping of Black men, it's no surprise Black asexuality is left as an afterthought or impossibility. The Doctor Who fandom is no different.

From the very real sanitisation and repression of gay sexuality from the banning of gay men's books, criminalisation of homosexuality and 'homosexual acts' and the gay panic of the HIV/AIDS crisis, there's always been a fear and stigmatisation of gay sex and sexuality. But because of this, there's a knee-jerk reaction to sexless gay identity as it's seen as a side effect of gay sanitisation. Gay asexuality can't exist autonomously without being a sign of that repression. Alternatively, because of the sexual puritan idea that being gay is inherently sexually deviant and an inherently sexual identity, the asexual gay man 'can't' exist. This also explains the conservative rhetoric about Fifteen and RTD making the Doctor 'not asexual anymore', because to be gay and asexual in their eyes is an oxymoron due to their homophobia. This also bleeds into the erasure of bi, lesbian and pan asexualities too. As written before in my Thasmin thinkpiece, the Thirteenth Doctor's lack of sexual attraction to Yaz is seen as proof that not only that she doesn't love Yaz, but that Thirteen isn't even a 'real' sapphic or a 'real' strong female character. Under compulsory sexuality (and most Thasmin discoursers apparently) to be a sexually liberated woman and a sapphic means to have sex and sexual attraction. Thirteen's repressed, as in having a sexual attraction yet to be unlocked or a sexual attraction she was 'supposed' to have, but not autonomously ace as in not having it in the first place. So in a similar sense to Fifteen, ace-sapphic Thirteen got her wings clipped before she could ever properly fly. Linking back to gay asexuality specifically, the compulsory sexuality that prevents the acceptance of asexuality and the sexualisation and demonisation of gayness means to be 'to be gay and asexual is to coexist in conflict' according to queer writer Michael Paramo, who's consistently written the about these contradictions as a Mexican gay asexual person.

When gay asexuality and Black asexuality are brought up, it's almost exclusively in the context of desexualisation. Many and frankly too many people use asexual as a synonym for desexualised. This leads to a push to 'stop making POC asexual' and 'stop thinking gay people are asexual' plus constant reminders gay and Black people fuck with to 'correct' a sexlessness that's seen as abnormal for these groups to have, further pushing Black and gay asexuality to the back of a very, very long queue. If your asexuality can't exist because you're an inherently sexual being whether you want to be or not and it can't exist in the space where your sexuality is supposed to be free, where do you go? Where do the Black asexual and the gay asexual go if they aren't supposed to exist in the first place?

So enter the Fifteenth Doctor, we have a golden opportunity right here. Under antiblackness and homophobia wrapped in the ribbon of compulsory sexuality, you have a Black gay asexual incarnation of the Doctor. You have a character navigating layers on layers on layers of contradictions. You can navigate the gay experience in someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. You can navigate the ace experience in someone who experiences romantic attraction to men. You can show two forms of queerness from an underrepresented dark skin Black lens. You show asexuality, Blackness and gay identity in how they overlap, intersect and shape one experience. You're showing a form of queerness that is never, and I mean never shown before.

And that brings me to why I don't think it will ever happen. If series 15, 16 or beyond proves me wrong the 'Black Gay Ace Fifteen is Amazing' thinkpiece will drop with a quickness. Trust me! But, RTD doesn't tend to write asexual characters. He focuses on the experiences of gay and bisexual men, has the occasional lesbian character and some trans characters. Apparently, there's an ace person interviewed in the Tofu web series in the 'Not Having Sex' episode so that's cool, but overall, The Asexual Character written by RTD is yet to be written. And I don't think they'll ever be. I don't expect RTD to write do this because I don't think queer writers, in this case, gay writers writing specifically about their own queerness slightly more than others is weird at all. I'm not surprised RTD writes mostly gay men as a gay man, so I'm not expecting or demanding asexual representation from him specifically. Similarly, from how RTD's written his Black characters in RTD1, I'm really not expecting him to make the next Moonlight. Whilst Roscoe from It's a Sin felt like a breath of fresh Nigerian gay air, this hasn't really translated into RTD2 yet. From 'Do you come in a range of different colours?' to how series 14 had no Black writers at all let alone queer Black ones and the atrocity that was Dot and Bubble, if Fifteen's experience as a Black queer person is missing or fumbled completely I won't be surprised.

That being said, RTD and Doctor Who are fully aware of its reputation as a queer show, as in an umbrella of all gender identities and sexualities. If Doctor Who both in show and fandom are pro-queer, as in embracing all forms of unconventional sexuality, as in being a safe haven for sexuality that's unrepresented and as in challenging the ideas of 'normal' sexuality then asexuality needs to be a part of that. No ifs, buts or excuses. I can't help but notice the coincidence of the Doctor 'not being asexual anymore' alongside the Doctor not being white anymore. And from the deliberate erasure of Black and gay asexuality on screen, inside asexual community and in wider queer community, I can't get behind another form of erasure even if it's accidental. The concept of Fifteen simply being demisexual, greysexual or a sex-favourable ace isn't even entertained in fandom either or the idea that Fifteen never stopped the Doctor's asexuality actually, but instead is just showing a flirty side of it. But even then it begs the question of why being Black and/or gay with no sexual attraction is seen as an impossibility. Why is letting go of sexual expectations of Black and gay people an impossibility? The Doctor Who fandom's and writer's (looking at you Moffat) long fear of asexuality is yet to be unpacked and until that day comes, I don't think we'll get close to any openly asexual doctor, let alone a Black and gay asexual one. Fifteen being asexual wouldn't dampen, sanitise or ruin him as a queer character. He could be flirty as can be, clubbing every night, skimpy outfit wearing, hot summers with Houdini galore and running off with Rogue into the sunset and still be asexual at the end of the day. Asexuality is a massive umbrella of different experiences, perspectives and people. It isn't asexuality that limits people, it's ignorant and restrictive attitudes about queerness that do. Asexuality doesn't, hasn't and will never restrict the Doctor's queerness, but compulsory sexuality does. And will.

I would love to be wrong about this and get bamboozled with Fifteen being written as a gay ace Black man in future series but knowing how RTD does Black characters in Doctor Who and the 'queer hierarchy' of the fandom, I won't be getting my hopes up. All I ask is that fandom and its writers be brave and look at representation different from their own. Something unfamiliar, something new, something borrowed, something blue. You could learn a lot. Queerness is a large umbrella after all. Anything is possible.

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Smooches for not-actually-exploding

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“One should always eat muffins quite calmly”

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More Cherri Bang art! This time for the fic 'This single night of pure lunacy' by @grayintogreen , inspired by the film 'Late night with the devil.' It's an incredible read if you like freaky shit and Alastor being creepy (which I do hehe).

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Here is my part of #cherribang2025!

This Single Night of Pure Lunacy is an amazing fic written by @grayintogreen

More art done for the fic by the lovely @otsmosis, give it a look!!

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Doctor Who 1.06 · Rogue

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Character practice in my style before some new prints 👀

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‼️New sticker‼️

I currently finished Apothecary Diaries and love it! Look for this sticker and more in September at Anime Wonder!!

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Kirb Your Enthusiasm

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The Life of Pepper Ann #1

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Preorders open now!!

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🩵BLUEY🩵

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🩵September 1st, 1989🩵

Coming soon Heathers AU

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Vote Stone!!

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Not a morning person ☕️🦔