turtblurt - Tumblr blog

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glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

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Sun Tzu is so fucking funny to me because for his time he was legitimately a brilliant tactician but a bunch of his insight is shit like "if you think you might lose, avoid doing that", "being outnumbered is bad generally", and "consider lying."

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Bye bye Tumblr Live! Now that @staff has come to their senses and ended their little circus act it's time for a real clown to make a comeback!

Hi! I am Jeff and I tell bad jokes. It's been a while (:

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*looking for a midnight snack* *gets flashbanged*

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this is napkin. he is the weakest eevee of all time sporting an exact 0 in every single one of his IVs and a neutral nature that does nothing for him. he loves to eat. he is in a premier ball because he is special and he deserves it. he is like a pathetic kitten and i would die for him

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every now and then tumblr reminds me that my dad asked for a furry pic for his 57th birthday

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team star storyline

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IM LOSING MY MIND?? WHERE DID THE BREAD COME FROM. WHY IS IT SIDEWAYS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

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😭 he brings all his friends to meals

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nobody:

2012 tumblr:

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My friend just started playing BG3 and he made this character I'm-

And yes, he's a Bard.

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losing my MIND

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What's that bro? You began interacting with a media from a different country than yours and/or was made in time period different than the recent present day? Haha that's sick bro! Keep expanding your horizons bro! You're remembering to take into account that sociocultural norms, gender roles and genre expectations are different from what you are used to and meeting the story halfway, instead of forcibly superimposing your ideals into the story, right bro? Right? Right?

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I called my friend just now and said, “I have a joke for you.”

Friend: “Ok shoot”

Me: “What has a tiny penis and hangs down?”

Friend: “I dunno what?”

Me: A bat.. now what has an enormous penis and hangs up?

Friend: I dunno what?

Click

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