turtlewithatail

[turtlewithatail]

[turtlewithatail]

you're the only one who understands me mr strobbery

[turtlewithatail]

asexual sex workers are braver than any US marine

[turtlewithatail]

[turtlewithatail]

>"nobody's gonna help you in the real world!!"

>go outside

>love and support in many places as long you have the courage to ask for it

[turtlewithatail]

[turtlewithatail]

making something called a brown butter brownie cake for my birthday. unsure how this would differ from just brownies.

my GOD this was a lot of butter

it was supposed to go in a round cake tin but i didn't have one big enough so had to go in my small brownie pan instead. its looking more and more like just brownies.

piping job came out ok considering that it was after midnight when i was doing it & i'm no good at piping. unfortunately my piping bag is pretty cheap and started doing something i can only describe as 'sweating butter' which made the whole thing very slippery.

added some sparkle :3

my GOD. based on the descriptor 'brownie cake' i was expecting something between a brownie & a cake in texture but this is the fudgiest brownie i have ever made.

i put it in the fridge overnight bcos there's cream in the frosting (more on that in a moment) and didn't think to bring it up to room temperature before serving. this was a mistake, i was there trying to heave a knife through it with my friends like 'are you okay. do you need help.'

frosting is like a buttercream but very heavy on the butter & with some cream added instead of milk? result has a kind of chocolate mousse-y quality

brownie itself absolutely outstanding once it had warmed up a bit from fridge cold.

i cut it into regular sized brownies which was also a mistake. start w smaller pieces and work up. told my friends that there were 2 whole blocks of butter in there (one in the brownie & one in the frosting) and one friend said she needed to lie down.

[turtlewithatail]

Is that a hard penis in your pants or is it something different than that? Also: do you hate me?

[turtlewithatail]

free use kink is gonna cost a dollar soon

[turtlewithatail]

my favorite piece of disney trivia is that the guy who designed goofy fucking hated him and beat the shit out of him in the parking lot once

[turtlewithatail]

Reblog to make your blog smell like petrichor an fresh dirt

[turtlewithatail]

Any day now

[turtlewithatail]

"A ship can never truly love an anchor." dude shut up. a ship without an anchor gets dashed against the rocks. it's useless, completely at the whim of the currents. a ship loves an anchor so much it carries it everywhere it goes. the anchor gives the ship the world to love. dude.

[turtlewithatail]

my aunt sent me these photos of the subway in Armenia because she thought I would love it

[turtlewithatail]

So last month I got hit by a car and died right. Which I didn't initially realize until I watched some guy haul my body into his pickup and drive off. Which, being that it's deep in rural Michigan, I assume means my body will make some venison jerky and maybe some wall decoration, and I'll be resigned to being one of hundreds of deer ghosts floating around Saginaw, which is w/e. But then I find out the guy works at a taxidermy shop or something, and he's actually pretty good at stuffing and mounting deer carcasses, which I come to find out when I find myself face to face with my old body in the shop window. So naturally, I figure since ghosts need to possess something to interact with the living world and etc etc etc the most logical thing to do is to possess my own body, since it's basically a statue of myself. And a little surprisingly, it actually fits like a glove. Like, since it's my body, it feels like stepping right back into place. So I get out of town and back to my herd, eventually. And that's where the trouble starts coming into it, because after I get settled again, I don't know how to explain to everyone else what feels so weird. Like since I can move my body and do everything I used to do, it's functionally the same, like nothing happened. Or it SHOULD be, so I don't know how to explain how it's NOT. But it's just hard to explain it to someone who's never been hit by a truck I guess

[turtlewithatail]

nobody on this site is ever ever EVER going to top running a blog dedicated entirely to posting cute pics of sweet old dogs in a shelter for a year and gradually becoming one of the most recognized blogs on the website, then without warning dropping “i just want to get dicked down again =/” with 0 explanation and abandoning the blog. not deleting it, not explaining anything, just leaving the whole thing as a monument. fucking flawless posting. literally the best of all time.

[turtlewithatail]

you don't ovulate. liar

interesting. Sort of a neutral statement really. cant seem to figure out how to respond to this