tutorialhomu - Tumblr blog

[tutorialhomu]

a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it

[tutorialhomu]

this game was so fucking funny and for what. i can't believe there are people who dislike the alola games

[tutorialhomu]

It’s always insane to me when people DM me to yell at me about breaching their DNI because I reblogged a post from them

Like how chronically online are you that you’re checking the blogs of everyone who reblogs from you

And I genuinely mean that. Even if the post only has like 10 notes at best. How much free time do you have to check the blogs of all 10 of those notes, and then go OUT OF YOUR WAY to message anyone who doesn’t fit your strict guidelines for human interaction. And I know some of y’all don’t just check but you DIG, because some of the stuff I get DMed about is not advertised on my blog as soon as you look at it.

How do you all survive outside of the internet when every persons political opinions and stances on fictional content aren’t displayed to you right off the bat.

Like I’m not kidding. That’s not normal. You are not the normal one in this situation. Please put your phone down for at least a week and go outside.

[tutorialhomu]

Slutshaming women is not ok Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok Tumblr logic

[tutorialhomu]

the fact that op turned off rbs is very very funny to me. anyway i want this post on my blog too.

[tutorialhomu]

straight guy geologist describing a vertically oriented igneous intrusion to his buddy: it’s a . well. i’m not sure i can reclaim this one just get over here

[tutorialhomu]

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

[tutorialhomu]

Every time I like or reblog a post, I leave a little bit of man residue on it

Every time I reply or add commentary to a reblog, that’s five times as much man residue

Me following your blog means your whole blog has man residue

I’m spreading it everywhere

[tutorialhomu]

imagine trying to casually use the bathroom and then Tutankhamun just goes:

PHARAOHS CURSE, DAMN THIS MAN, TURN HIS TOILET INTO SAND

and then your day is ruined :(

[tutorialhomu]

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

[tutorialhomu]

Another dream comic. Had a dream where I was tied to a chair in a dark room and some hooded figures killed me after I begged for my life—but then I got caught in a time loop and so I kept trying to figure out what I could say to get them to not shoot me but they killed me no matter what I said. Started just shouting random stuff eventually.

[tutorialhomu]

god I fucking love strawberries

[tutorialhomu]

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

[tutorialhomu]

It is morally correct to be horny on main.

If we really want to fight against this puritanical culture that seems to be hell-bent on running sex workers off the internet and banning pornography wherever they can find it, you have a moral duty to post hole on main. Doesn't have to be your own hole but you got to post it.

[tutorialhomu]

4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy

[tutorialhomu]

coming home from work to my three weed smoking girlfriends

[tutorialhomu]

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people