tuttleturtle

[tuttleturtle]

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore�� bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

[tuttleturtle]

reasonable people: the drop in fertility rates is at least partially due to the economic circumstances we are living in. perhaps more people under 30 WOULD be interested in having children if there were resources like universal healthcare and universal childcare, making it more financially feasible to start a family at-

unreasonable people: no. wrong. we need to ban abortion and also bring back teen pregnancy in a big way.

[tuttleturtle]

Sometimes I'm reminded that people don't have techniques for saying "hey. We all are human" And this is so very weird to me and I'm jealous that they didn't need this. But the thing to say isn't "you're lucky not to know that" It's offering "hey, here's some tools you might not have had. Because we all are human and I hope so very much that you can help support others and they can help support you and we can all pull each other up more effectively"

[tuttleturtle]

y'all know that whole left-brained/right-brained thing is fake right? and the "brain fully develops at age 25" thing? and the "we only use 10% of our brains" thing? yeah they're all complete horseshit please yell at anyone who says them

[tuttleturtle]

I do in fact actually multiple know closeted-for-safety trans boys who bought their first binder at target who then bought their next one from Shapeshifters. Now that you can't buy binders at Target I'm not gonna get to know another one unless that changes. Please have that change.

i was going to do a rant about this before seeing this tweet but imma just leave this here

[tuttleturtle]

maybe its because im an asylum seeker but i am of the opinion that even if immigrants and asylum seekers contributed nothing to a nation that nation should not have the right to deport them.

[tuttleturtle]

Getting photos of my SDIT every two weeks is absolutely the highlight of my month currently with all that's going on. Being able to see here's how she is in training, she's loving it, her favorite thing ever is training. No really she wants to work. Enthusiastic puppy loves her job of learning all these things. is so *nice* to have something nice among all the everything that's going on.

[tuttleturtle]

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

[tuttleturtle]

I want you to remember:

The fascists hate you too and they just will pretend otherwise until after they've killed the rest of us, before they turn on you.

[tuttleturtle]

when people w intellectual or cognitive or language disabilities ask “what does that mean” please like. actually explain what it mean to us.

even when it like. most ridiculous wild thing conservative say, for example. when we genuine ask what it mean please not respond with “oh it just some ridiculous stuff don’t worry abt it”

that not help. that leave us out of information.

you able read it, understand it, n then make up own decision about it. we struggle with first thing, so we ask for help, but by respond that way you take away our chance do the next two things.

we deserve same right as you we deserve have access to same information and make our own mind n opinion about it.

[tuttleturtle]

Hey, now that we have a deeply neurobigoted alt-psych quack at HHS, can we remember to use the term "alt-psych" (my friend coined!) instead of insulting the anti-psych movement by calling this bullshit "anti-psych"?

The essence of psychiatry isn't prescription drugs; it's coercive control. If you're against prescription drugs, but for coercive control, you're not anti-psychiatry.

If you're for prescription drugs, but against coercive control, you are anti-psychiatry (most anti-psych people I know are broadly fine with prescription drugs used consensually, because, again, the essence of psychiatry isn't drugs, it's coercive control).

[tuttleturtle]

Having a lot of thoughts about how there's differences between a) disability simulations b) people treating things you rely on as gimmicks c) people trying things because they think its cool, even if they never get past the "wow that's neat" and into understanding how its necessary assistive tech Because its so dehumanizing to have people treating things like gimmicks and its so hard to talk about that when its other disabled people. My eyegaze isn't a gimmick, its not some neat thing I can play with because its fun and because I like the idea of eyegaze but just pick it up and put it down without actually dealing with any of the downsides of eyegaze. Eyegaze is exhausting and frustrating to deal with speaking people with even compared to other AAC and so much work. It's also so incredibly necessary and makes such a huge difference in my life.

And it *is* incredibly neat. People seeing it and being like wow this tech is impressive are saying things that are true! But there's a difference between "wow that's neat" on a tech side or an assistive tech specific side and treating it like a gimmick. And I so very often see it treated like a gimmick and its not a gimmick. It's necessary assistive tech.

[tuttleturtle]

TVTropes gets made fun of a lot but it is a little astonishing how consistent that wiki's voice is. It's a great wiki to go to if you want to simulate having one specific autistic fifteen-year-old computer nerd infodump to you about any piece of media that exists. To be clear I am saying this as an overwhelmingly positive thing

[tuttleturtle]

When I was 3 years old I went to a preschool that had this little green crocheted crocodile finger puppet that was my absolute favorite toy to play with of all time. I named her Chelsea, because Chelsea starts with C and crocodile starts with C and more often than not wild animals in fiction aimed at kids have names that start with the same first letter as their species. I played with Chelsea every day, because she was my favorite toy, and because the other kids weren't really interested in her, and also because I eventually started to hide her in a special secret spot in the room so no one else would find her before I did. She was so beloved by me that when I graduated from preschool, my teachers gave Chelsea to me permanently, because it was clear no one else would ever love that little crochet crocodile as much as me anyway (in part because I hid her). They waited a few weeks after I graduated before doing it, too, and sent Chelsea with some post cards as if the crocodile had been on a whirlwind "travel the world" vacation before deciding to come live with me.

And Chelsea remained my favorite toy all through my childhood. There were others I loved nearly as much, like my Imperial Godzilla and the big red T.rex from the first Jurassic Park toy line and my tiny knockoff plush Charmander, but Chelsea always held the place of honor in my heart. She was my absolute favorite toy.

I kept a lot of my favorite toys through adolescence, even if social pressure eventually got me to give away a lot of them (and some, y'know, broke). That's obviously not surprising to you if you've followed my blog, since I still collect toys into my adulthood. But it's important to note because while I know I made a conscious effort to never throw out Chelsea every time I pared down my collection... at some point, she went missing.

I became aware of it when I graduated from high school. I was feeling really emotional about leaving that stage of my life and, y'know, becoming an adult and shit, and in that state I decided to find Chelsea to reassure myself that I hadn't entirely left childhood behind. But Chelsea wasn't there. No matter how hard I looked, I could not find Chelsea anyway.

And that was, like, devastating, because the only explanation was that somehow, at some point, I had accidentally tossed her out with some other "childhood junk" while trying to grow up and be responsible in my teen years. I had literally thrown away my childhood in a careless attempt to be more grown up.

Of course I knew she was just a toy - nothing more than some yarn twisted together in the loose shape of a crocodile, lifeless and soul-less and more or less worthless in the objective light of day. But she was also Chelsea, my best friend since i was three, my stalwart little pal, a source of comfort for most of my life at that point, and I had just... tossed her out! Like garbage! What kind of person was I becoming if I could do that to my best friend?

I was very visibly distraught, and my mom noticed. Being very crafty, she tried to find the pattern for Chelsea so she could knit me a new one. The problem is, she had no idea where to find said pattern. She checked all her books of crochet patterns, and when that failed she tried the internet, but no matter how hard she looked, she found nothing.

So my mom found the next best thing.

The original Chelsea was a tiny finger puppet, and I had "met" her when I was three. Well, I was eighteen now - shouldn't Chelsea have grown too? And as has been established, this crocodile was fond of whirlwind vacations. My mom found a pattern that looked as much like Chelsea as possible while also being a much bigger crocodile, and gifted her to me before I left for college - to show that while we can't stop the flow of time or how it changes us, that doesn't mean we have to leave it behind.

And yeah, I decided to believe it. That's Chelsea now. Yeah, I know that in reality it's a completely different set of yarn made by my mom rather than... whoever it was that crocheted the original Chelsea, but then, Chelsea was never really the yarn. She was the feelings I put into the yarn, you know? So that's Chelsea, all grown up, and still my most prized toy.

...

Flash forward... Jesus, eighteen years, holy shit. A few weeks ago I saw a post trying to identify a different crochet crocodile pattern, and thinking it was cute, I decided to try and look for it on ebay and etsy, just to see if maybe I could find it. I didn't, but do you know what I found instead?

A very familiar crochet crocodile finger puppet. An intensely familiar one, you might say. Of course I bought it. And of course I asked the seller if, perhaps, they might have the pattern for it or know where it came from (they did not, alas). And after a few days, she showed up at my house.

She's not Chelsea, obviously. For one thing, she's far too clean and fresh looking - Chelsea was very well loved, and looked the part, while this crocodile finger puppet has definitely not endured years upon years of a child's affection. And, more importantly, she's not Chelsea because we've already established that Chelsea grew up into a bigger crochet crocodile. This has to be Chelsea's younger sister, Cici.

And if I could find another of Chelsea's kind after all these years, then maybe, with a bit of luck, I might find the pattern for her, and be able to make more of them. Fill the world with Chelseas.

[tuttleturtle]

the knitting will continue until morale improves

[tuttleturtle]

yea some of my support needs only feel right ask paid carer or family do but think many people who not depend on other people care every day not understand (or refuse to) how much community & community care & mutual aid go into many of our lives—sometimes our community our friends our support system help us willingly, or bridge gap inaccessible Official services can’t/don’t provide, n we help our friends n community back willingly.

when care needs not met my friends—willingly—help out they help look out for wheelchair accessibility feature they help me call doctors n other places that hang up on me without word because mechanical AAC voice they help me move n pack they help pick what clothes good for weather they help with back zippers n buttons when lose my they help me use microwave they drive me they help with ER times they look after me when go out n they still look after me even now thousands miles apart. n am look after them in my ways we share joy share sadness share anger when go through traumatic times we go through together am look after their access needs n thru their medical episodes n let them indefinitely borrow my mobility aids am not need anymore n let them put their stuff on my wheelchair. because we friends n it what friends do n we build our own lil queer trans disabled communities n future with authentic trust n care n mutual aid. they not my PCA it not same n anyone can easily see that fact but friends will be just as insulted as me if people devalue their efforts just because of that.

our care needs not just a service it not just transactions we not just consumers of service. many people who not depend on other people care every day not understand, or refuse understand, or even do understand but not care abt it because it nothing do with them, that there so much barriers to Official personal care attendants, that be our level of disability not include manifest PCA into thin air as symptom, that many of us simply not have them - it should not be privilege to have basic care but it be force that way.

it make sense that [people who do understand (they may even work in disability field) surface level of PCA process n how hard it be but not care abt it because it nothing do with them or their role] not understand [how much mutual & community care go into our lives]. because understand that mean they first need care abt us n see us as important n entangled part of their own community, that community members should help other community members.

people who not depend on other people care go on n on about appropriate-ness n liability (to them) n keeping all other people who not depend on other people safe protect them first n foremost before us, so quick to lecture us “educate” us as if we not live this life, that real life a lil more complicated than what they learn in textbook or “most classic case” or laws—

—send message of. we not care abt what happen to you, we not going help. but moment our community of people who not need other people care need be in your direction we need make us safe by make your life hard. nevermind that you probably already done background checks n qualification check (if there any because… well that another post maybe), or very real reason why it not done (something abt urgency of need every single day basic needs care to physically not die). nevermind that, if harm ever do happen, then.. idk… person they routinely see naked, hold power over, n can literally easily physical overpower, may be first under harm.

but our carer our own n so their mistake our own—literal adult with their own minds n motivation n upbringing who our lives depend on who hold power over us. no one protects us from what may come from that but everyone scream when there even chance others mayyy be uncomfortable.

[tuttleturtle]

The fact that so many disabled people relate to monsters is A Thing for Good Reason

thinking again about vampirism as disability