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"No. You don't link me on your blog because you have this skewed view of yourself that you're ultimately cooler than I am when you're not." Because no one could beat Twitter, man. Len cocked an eyebrow. "A day? I think the world would burst into flames first before we ever stop insulting but... fine. Whatever. I'm done."

[@sassytweetybird: totally just pwned Tumblr] #ultimatespacejamslam

@5 New Followers

"Well excuse you, Your Highness. See this is why I don’t link my blog with you, Twit Twat. This is a free world, Lenny, I can use hashtags or @ symbols whenever I please.” Kiyoshi sighs. “Can’t we just go one day without insulting each other?”

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"Can we just--never mention this. Ever? To anyone? Ever?"

Because if anyone else got word of this he'd burst into flames and die. 

@5 New Followers

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"First: I have no control over my fangirls. They can literally cut for Bieber and I would still sit here, eating sun chips, silently judging them from afar. Two: You're stupid. If you wanted to insult me at least put the @ in front of your name like every other Twitter user. Congrats, your stupidity has leveled you up from Tumbledore to Tumble Twit." 

@5 New Followers

"If you want to lecture me on spelling, tell all of your fangirls to spell "cologne" instead of "colon" and I might think about listening to you. Also, my name is #Kiyoshi. I put my name with a hashtag; can you understand it now, Tweety bird?"

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"Crappy Pasta you are talking a lot of shit that I am just going to drag and drop into the recycling bin, tbh." Because let's be real here, no one could top Twitter. Bird is the word. 

"Are you sure you are the greatest thing, and not just a fad to past the moment something comes along that can do everything you do except faster, and with— oh, I don’t know— more characters?” A short laugh.

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"It was--joke. You know. Like. Reference. Joke--A thing to make you laugh. A--fuck." Quickly abort mission. QUICKLY ABORT MISSION. 

@5 New Followers

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Snorts. "Coming from you who's known language is a bunch of gibberish and broken english. 'I can't even'. 'What is air'. 'laksdfjsadlkfsadf'. The intelligence you own is startling. Really, Tumbledork. Amazing." 

@5 New Followers

"Oi, oi, oi, Twit Twat, are you insulting the scarf? I will let you know that I am very offended right now and I would give you a five page paper about how beautiful this scarf is but you can’t read past 140 characters."

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"I thought you were born with that cringe--" note to self, never underestimate the creepy pasta. "Though are you really surprised? I'm like, the greatest thing to come around since sliced bread. You'd have to be seriously backwards not to use me." Inflated ego is inflated. 

"Twitter-sama, the way celebrities and the like use you is scary enough for even me to cringe on occasion.” An almost mocking bow, “And I applaud you for that.”

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[@sassytweetybird: operation be a kick ass hipster and get some chicks: failure]

"Uh--No. Nothing. I tried to do nothing whatsoever." Someone light him on fire. Just do it. 

@5 New Followers

"Are you trying to do anything at all— I can’t really tell.." The ram narrowed a brow, in a bit of confusion.

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@3 New Followers

# apxllon

# arietisastrum

# capricornusphren

"In 140 words or less how would you compare food to sex." This was important. This would make or break Twitter, alright?

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"Dude, man. I don't think you want your name being used like that. Like 'holla at me now I just googled myself three times in one night. Look at my swag'. Yeah, no. That's not cool."

"Pervert." 

“safew ord”

Did you mean: “Safe Word”?

"If my name can be used in such a fashion, then I have nothing against it. More popularity for me~"

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@5 New Followers

# ariesxram

# steadfast-maiden

# bitchplsimhermes

# pestilentially

# acorvitreum

Arrives 15 minutes early with homemade coffee. "Wait. Hold on. I think I did that wrong--frick."

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"Why?" A cock of the head. "Because I'm hella rad? I mean, I would have wet dreams about myself. Totally would."

                “Wh——?!”

“I-I’ve never seen you before in my life!! How could you possibly be in my wet dreams?” Consider this one flustered kitty.

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"Yo, Googly Bear. Is google the safew ord for masturbate?"

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Len blinked. Okay, so hella cutie goddess didn't know anything. How hella cute. He could either abuse this opportunity and socially corrupt the immortal, or somehow turn this into a beautiful blossoming of friendship. Nah, he'd screw her over. 

"A selfie is basically when you give your soul up to your phone so people can compliment you and tell you how pretty you are to boost your self-esteem. It works wonders and has been scientifically proven to make one ten times more attractive." 

@5 New Followers

                 What was with this mortal? Er. Wait. Was this really a human? “A selfie? Um, sure? What is this selfie you speak of? Some sort of special photograph?” Boy, had mortals stepped up their game! A new type of photograph, instead of just the boring old ‘one second of life’ jig. Did selfies move with the person? “What is that in your hand?” Leaning over, the goddess looked at his phone in pure curiosity. 

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[@sassytweetybird: jamming out to careless whisper] #sexsax #thematingsongofmypeople 

Kicks down door. "Yo man play me some sick beats."

▶”I gotchu, man.”

=[search…Careless Whisper]=

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"Of course not, Tumbledore. You're more like a ratchet poser who thinks that scarf brings out your eyes when really it looks like crap."

@5 New Followers

"How mean, Twit Twat! Am I not a goddess to you? That hurts my soul!" He gasped and fell to his knees, clutching his shirt wide-eyed.

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"Probably in your wet dreams, tbh."

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                “You seem a little familiar. Have I seen you before … ?”