twolizardsandaunicorn - Tumblr blog

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

How Demencia gets her raccoons

"DEMENCIA TIPS! IF YOU WANT A BEAUTIFUL CREATURE LIKE A RACCOON! WHIP OUT YOUR FLUTE AND PLAY YOUR SICKEST SOLO! ONLY THEN THOSE BEAUTIFUL BABIES WILL COME TO YOU!"

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

"Flug is the biggest slut i know, he has big slut energy, me on the other hand i have big dick energy"

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

Dr.Lacertilia drawn by me

Created by @h8terexity

Reblog! My next customer could be following you!

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

♡The last BUFF unicorn! I rewatched The Last Unicorn and got inspired♡

Reblog! My next customer could be following you!

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

"Flug is a nerd and i want to sit on his face"

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

Russia

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

Cuando la encuentre le voy a… When I find her I’m gonna…🎩🐍

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

Well, she did it again, she pissed off the scientist. At least... she thought she did, how else would she have ended up in a city she didn't recognize, where the cars looked old and there were no obnoxious hipsters taking pictures of their food and uploading it to social media... From what the villainess could remember, she fell asleep after ripping up a few blue prints.. And apparently she was sent through time to sleep on the sidewalk, rude.

She kept getting weird looks and glances, with everyone speaking in full english it was safe to say she wasn't in hatsville anymore.. She shot back nasty glares and scary faces, then again it was the 1960's, vibrantly colored hair, torn clothing and mis-matched clothes were probably considered some weird taboo that she was some kinda hippy.. or hobo... there wasnt a difference to her. What she wanted to know if she could break her record of conquering the world in less than a week and 2 hours 45 minutes and 12 seconds.

She wandered until she came to a highway overpass, step one into conquering the world, make yourself look like a threat. She sat on the sidewalk and reached i to her hair, pulling out a few random items, one was a baby alligator, another was a stick of dynamite, tjen a can of paint, and a pack of gum. She stuffed the alligator into her hair and shoved the entire pack of gum into her mouth, paper wrappings and all, she chewed and took a hold of the paint can, ripping off the metal handle with brute strength and driving it through the bucket, green paint, her favorite. This is how it wouldn't roll too much

She spat the wad of gum into her hand and stuck the dynamite into it then shoving the wad onto the bucket. Messy! She lit the stick of dynamite and held the explosive in her hands like it was a pineapple, waiting. A few people were starting to freak out, some even rushing to call the police. Sweet.

She waited, she wanted to wait for something special, a gas transport truck, a shipping truck! Food transport! Something to make a big mess! Rather than just a big hole in the ground with paint splattered everywhere. Instead she tossed it down on am RV and watched it explode, a massive pile up forming beneath her and she fell to the ground laughing like an immature little kid. "Aww man that was priceless! Flug did you see-- oh..." she forgot, she wasn't in hatsville anymore!

@intothevoyd

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

Like or reblog for a starter! As much as I’d love to use the animated version it’s easier to icon the live fc. Open to everyone!

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

HI HELLO IM BACK FROM MY HIATUS

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

PRICE UPDATE

Hey everyone! Im updating my prices! I’m taking commissions and a full-painted body has been reduced by

Five dollars

What i will do:

Furries, NSFW, Gore, Exaggerated Anatomy, OC’s

What i won’t do:

Extreme Kinks, Mecha, Religion, Hate

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

For an Extra 5 dollars you will receive a print of any of the previous artworks I’ve made before your commission AND a speed draw of your commissioned piece

Even if you can’t commission me, reblogging this helps, my next customer could be following you!

If interested PM me on this blog for payment.

Thank you.

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

NEW VILLAINOUS AU!

VICE!

The best and the worst crew in all of Miami!

1.Light Hat, owner of The Hat club, a total sleazy rich business man who has a fondness for drugs, smut, and crime. He grants favors for the scumbags of Miami in return that said scumbags do him a “favor” he never specifies as soon but Vices do come with prices! And….. the price is heavy.

2. Euphoria, Bouncer, Escort, Dancer, Bartender and Waitress. This girl does everything! And i do mean everything. Well… Everything Light Hat asks her to do, dispose bodies, manage the more wealthy patrons, she is the best at what she does and does a whole lot more than what’s in her job description… Things tend to get very messy in every context.

3. Dr.Turp, Manager of the Hat Club, total stick in the mud with a certain pent up frustration. This poor nerd never gets the action he wants! But that doesn’t mean his job isn’t any less action packed! He delivers orders from Light Hat to the crew when hes to busy to say them himself! He is very close with Euphoria when it comes to disposing of bodies! Though.. as a matter of the location of where to dispose them is always a mystery..

4. (5.0) the club’s cuddliest, softest bouncer! Scopes out potential deals for light and protects the crew as best as he can, being not only immortal, but completely bulletproof! For when the deals go wrong. He has seen a lot and can keep his muzzle shut.

REBLOG! My next customer could be following you!

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

Doctor Turp of my Vice Au!

Assistant manager to the The Hat Club!

Drug dealer and Smut Pedler! He is alwaus at Light Hat’s side and hardly ever sleeps! He hardly ever gives himself a break and he harsly ever gets any release! He finds the comfort in the softer things like fur and… A particular cheetah woman…

❤Commissions❤

🐦Twitter🐦

📷Instagram📷

[twolizardsandaunicorn]

"Neck-sis..... Hmm.... I may or may not know..... What's in it for me?" She asked, pulling out a jar of pickles from her hair which happened to have a frog clinging to it. "Hey, go home" she whispered to the frog, which instead hopped onto apollyon's head.

"I mean if you have someth-- WAIT YOU KNEW I TALK TO NECK-SIS? BULLSHIT! Wait.... Did he tell you I'm the reason why there's never any sodas or meat in your fridge anymore?" She whined, attempting to open the jar with her mouth, but was at a loss.

Demencia slammed a chair over Apollyon's head, "Polly Pocket! I need answers!"

Apollyon hadn’t expected the chair, even if it did very little and shattered against his skull. “You-… I’m going to let that slide this once. What is your question?”