twomommies

[twomommies]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[twomommies]

[twomommies]

DOLLY PARTON in NINE TO FIVE (1980) dir. Colin Higgins

[twomommies]

[twomommies]

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

[twomommies]

Grace Hanson in Grace & Frankie 1.01 & 1.02

[twomommies]

posts about ADHD have no business being 2k words some of us are unmedicated

[twomommies]

saw a picture of the terrorists storming the capitol right now and one of them was holding a “jesus saves” poster and i think it’s time we have the conversation about christian terrorism in the united states

[twomommies]

Dolly Parton onstage, 1970

[twomommies]

What do they want her to do, force feed Michael Myers Activia until he shits himself to death?

[twomommies]

[twomommies]

interviewer: describe yourself in 4 words me: automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funky-fresh interviewer: hired

[twomommies]

[twomommies]

It’s true.

[twomommies]

🎃 Happy Halloween! 🎃

[twomommies]