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[txchikaze]

“Someone actually thinks I’m cute? Tell me who they are! Pretty please Kansei!!”

--- The eye twitch is back pretty quickly. Who told her about this? "Hell if I know," he says, decidedly not trying to recall anything about the guy. "He looked like any other guy." Boring, forgettable, not suitable for Mashiro at all.

"Believe me, you're not missing anything." Besides, he's sure that plenty of people find her 'cute' anyway.

[txchikaze]

is your lieutenant single? she’s really cute…

--- For a moment there, his eye twitches. That is, until he has processed the second sentence and he realizes they had been talking about Mashiro. The relief is shortlived, though, because he doesn't want anyone asking about Mashiro either. Annoyance flares up again just as quickly.

"What makes you think Mashiro would care about your opinion?" He nearly glares. This person is not by far good enough for Mashiro, far too unassuming and ordinary.

[txchikaze]

“I’ve decided to make myself strong. As far as I can tell, that’s all I can do.”

— Haruki Murakami

[txchikaze]

--- He finds himself recognizing the irony, and chuckles lowly, deciding to interpret Shuuhei's comment as humorous. "I suppose," he says, "though I have less trouble putting things away when told, don't I?" It is nearly a tease, but Shuuhei's follow-up question is sobering him some.

"Mm." The arm that has not been repurposed to keep Shuuhei close { something he does not mind } lifts, and he pinches the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. "Not especially, no.." He doesn't like talking about his shortcomings. He catches himself, though. Rose had once said something along the lines of his confiding in at least one person.. Logically that person should be his lover, so...

"Just been distracted lately, is all. Not making my usual quota," Shuuhei should know how he hates that. "Gotta pick up the slack a little, until I find my stride again, nothing to worry about." Because he does intend to find it again.

Now that he knows the truth, he wonders if Kensei's overworking as of late is at all tied to his shortened lifespan. Is he trying to get as much as he possible can done before his time is up?

He nods and waits until Kensei has set the paperwork aside before sidling closer and lifting Kensei's arm to wrap it over his own shoulders. "This is an unexpected turn of the tables," he notes, glancing to the documents. "I remember when you had to drag me away from my desk so I would stop working. …Is there something on your mind to have prompted this?"

[txchikaze]

--- "Hm?" He lowers his paperwork { he knows he should probably stop taking work home, but of late his concentration isn't what it used to be, perhaps the war had taken its toll, so he has to make that slower pace up somehow }. "Hey," he says, eyes quickly scanning the tailend of his paragraph. "I'll put this away," he's not been paying enough attention to Shuuhei of late, he's well aware of that..

Leans into Kensei's shoulder and plants a little kiss just above his ear. ( @txchikaze )

[txchikaze]

@aariose

--- Promised a friend I'd draw my take on Kensei pre-exile. Because I know we see him with short hair in turn back the pendulum but listen. That's wrong, because he is a traditionalist and a noble (before punk gets him in exile in the 90s) TO ME ok?

[txchikaze]

@soutaichou replied to this post: shunsui: let's see who drinks who under the table first.

--- "Aren't you s'pposed to be responsible now, soutaichou?"

[txchikaze]

Kensei, who has a high alcohol tolerance: I simply tell my body not to get drunk

[txchikaze]

There are a few great souls in my life. They are not many. They are few. You are one.

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters (via thoughtkick)

[txchikaze]

— Jeanette Winterson, from “Gut Symmetries.”

[txchikaze]

The Cow, Ariana Reines

[txchikaze]

@epiphemera {Rose} from here [x]:〘 rose 〙"they say there's no reward without a challenge." and while the silver-haired man is certainly a challenge, especially to watch struggle with his sense of self, it truly is rewarding when kensei seeks him out for guidance or companionship. when rose gets a glimpse of his friend unfettered by the things that so often weigh him down or finding a piece of enjoyment in his life. "your friendship is a reward that even my instruments cannot do justice to."

--- As ever when confronted with something as emotional as all this { even if he absolutely refuses to let it show }, he is unable to look Rose in the eye. Though, he does listen closely for the other's answer, for any hint that perhaps he might have been right, or will be right in the future.

Rose does not placate him, which, strangely, makes the answer seem more believable. His fellow visored does not claim that he is not difficult to be friends with, quite the opposite it sems. But.. It also obviously does not deter him. A wry smile curves his lips. "Right.. Thanks." He doesn't really get what Rose's instruments have to do with it, but those are dear to his friend, so.. He supposes it isn't so bad to be mentioned in the same breath.

"Now just forget I ever told you anything, won't you?"

[txchikaze]

💀 (for rose)

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--- "Alright, fine.." He suspects the expectation is something like Rose perishing in battle, or the hollows taking over, ripping them apart, or even just the fact that their livespans are cut in half, and Rose'll go before he does. But it's something.. A little more insidious, and something he tries not to dwell on too much. He already knows what Rose will say in reply anyway.

He's never shared this, despite Rose being, for all intents and purposes, his first friend.. And, for a while there, his only friend. They spoke about a wider array of concepts and worries and interests than anyone else Kensei had shared his mind with { though admittedly, that list was not very long }.

"I'm always kind'f expecting you to figure out I'm more trouble than I'm worth." He shrugs, like that thought is not completely devastating. He doesn't carry such insecurities lightly. In most areas of life, he is quietly confident and secure. This is not one of them; people, friendship.. He does feel deeply, even if he little shows it. "I think I'm always kinda waiting for you to realize it." And to drop him in turn. He wouldn't fault Rose for that. Kensei knows he is not an easy-going person, he isn't a light- and kindhearted friend like Rose is. He doesn't have the right words half the time, and the other half he explicitly uses the wrong ones. He can be explosive and nitpicky, and downright impenetrable at times.

His biggest fear with regards to Rose is that.. Rose will realize he deserves a better friend. Someone who doesn't need instructions to be even a half-way good one. Someone that doesn't need that much energy put in to keep. Once he realises that..

Kensei is not sure what then. He'd probably survive just fine. But the mere idea of it makes his skin crawl and his chest feel tight.

[txchikaze]

Send 💀 for my muses biggest fear regarding your muse

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[txchikaze]

It figures that Shuuhei couldn't even manage to put decent compulsion behind his statement, but… at least Kensei seems interested? As Kensei's hand travels up his arm, Shuuhei lightly sucks in a breath as anticipation skitters ahead of Kensei's touch. By the time that hand is at his throat, Shuuhei think he might be the one liable to obey any command that might proceed from Kensei's mouth at that moment. Which is why, when Kensei tells him to speak more clearly, Shuuhei doesn't hesitate this time.

"Mark me. I want for anyone who looks at me to know I'm yours." He bites his lip momentarily. "The neck is probably best for that, but I want you to pick the spot."

--- But that is always the way, though, isn't it? Kensei grunting or barking some orders, and Shuuhei diligently following them. That has been the division of labour in their work and their relationship both. This instance, though, breeds opportunity for Shuuhei to walk along the other side of that equation for once. And yet it does not surprise Kensei that he does not truly take that opportunity. Still, Kensei is already minorly impressed by the more firm tone Shuuhei takes the second time.

"That so..?" He says, not really asks, his tone lilting towards amusement. I want you to pick the spot, Shuuhei says. That still leaves quite some freedom in his hands. His thumb slides along the brunet's jawline once more, as though contemplating. Deep brown eyes follow the vertical and horizontal lines upon his partner's face. A few jagged, and organic, and one stark and neat. He barely remembers what Shuuhei looked like without them, when he met him.

His free hand moves, hooking fingers into the other's obi to pull him closer, toe to toe. Like this, Shuuhei's greater height is apparent. Kensei has never been bothered by this, but he knows Shuuhei has. Perhaps an introduction to the advantages of Kensei's stockier build will change his mind a little. It is easy, after all, for the captain to lean in and press his lips just above Shuuhei's choker, where a second ago, his hand had been. It had now shifted, alongside its counterpart, to Shuuhei's waist. "Here?" He mutters, dragging his lips across the cold, onyx material of that iconic choker. Lips press again, softly, to his clavicle. He has to pull Shuuhei's uniform slightly to the side for that one, which means it won't show, if he chooses there. However, Kensei would argue, no one said he could not leave more than one, nor that he couldn't choose both visible and invisible marks..

[txchikaze]

“You are your worst enemy. It is your negative thoughts that hold you back, nothing else.”

— Leon Brown

[txchikaze]

► "Maybe… leave a mark where everyone can see it." Giving an outright command to Kensei is still too far a step for Shuuhei to take with confidence, so it comes out much more like a request — a proverbial half-step back already taken in his heart, should Kensei be unwilling.

--- "Maybe?" He quirks a pierced brow. "Ya gotta gimme a bit more conviction that than, Shuuhei." He offers the younger man a lazy smile. Hes feeling.. strangely relaxed, despite the rather out-of-pocket request. And it is a request, because Shuuhei failed to put any strength behind that command. Which Kensei can understand, given their positions. And true enough, he does not usually take kindly to being bossed around. Indeed, has gone nearly six centuries with very few people daring to do so, beyond his family elders when he was still a child. But, he finds, he's starting to make an exception for Shuuhei. He can at least ask things of him, despite them being outside his comfort zone.

"And where should that be..?" He asks, though he doesn't expect an answer, already traveling the length of Shuuhei's bare arm with gloved fingers. There's enough skin on display there. He might take a wrist and be safe enough. Few people would suspect it to be anything but a random bruise. But, given a challenge like this, he is unwilling to chicken out. So that hand travels further, over bicep and shoulder, pausinf at the sliver of skin visible at his collar, tapping, as if contemplating, along his clavicle. Then along that dangerous choker until two fingers run along Shuuhei's jawline, and angle his face slightly away from him, as though surveying the available canvas. "Mm. Here?" Lightly slotting his hand around Shuuhei's throat, his thumb grazes first along the other's adam's Apple, then over his pulsepoint. He can feel the quickening of his heart there.

"Tell me properly."