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This Time Around - Chapter 30

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 32/?

Sleep had evaded her once more. This time it was not nightmares, nor was it an unexpected kiss from Daryl. It was the sheer horror, humiliation and worry that from then on, nothing would ever be the same again with the man she loved. She’d poured over the happenings of that night a million times, each revisit to it coaxing tears to her eyes and a sickening, churning regret deep in her stomach.

After throwing some choice items against the wall and smashing them to pieces, she’d spent two hours furiously cleaning and tidying the diner. Sweeping the same spot on the floor multiple times because it just didn’t look clean enough and picking up a tin of black paint with the intention of moving it somewhere else, for what was quite possibly the hundredth time. She changed the sheets, washed the dirty ones and re-folded all of her clothes until they were stacked in a beautifully square pile in a drawer. She re-organized her books, scrapping the traditional library style of A-Z by author and opting for the wilder approach of color coordinated. The result was more aesthetically pleasing but when she surveyed her efforts with a tilted head and narrowed eyes, the lack of professionalism niggled at her. She changed them back, dusted them all and then tore them all from the shelves again so she could dust the wooden beams before replacing them.

The cracked mirror that hung on her wall showed exactly the turmoil she felt within. The light from a single, pillar candle in her hand did nothing to soften the rough reality of her tired face. Her skin was pallid, her hair barely brushed and her eyes bloodshot from hours of trying to hold back tears and failing miserably. She was hungry, but knew she wouldn’t keep anything down until she could get some clarity, some advice and somewhere to go so that she wasn’t forced to look at the same stain on the countertop over and over again. No one would be awake for hours. It didn’t matter, she needed to get out.

Alexandria was quiet and still and Jess was drawn to Aaron and Eric’s house like a moth to a flame. As she pushed the unlocked front door open, a rush of air left her lungs. It was exhilarating, wandering around in dead of night while everyone but the guards slept and letting herself into someone else’s house. It crossed her mind that maybe this was what it was like to be a career criminal. She crept through the house, pretending she was a stealthy, seasoned burglar on the edge of the law. When she reached the kitchen, she paused at the table, swallowing her anxiety and slowly began to open cupboards.

Aaron rolled over in bed and kicked the covers from his overheating legs. From beside him, he heard Eric let out a muffled groan while still enveloped in the clutches of a deep sleep. Aaron rarely slept through the night and when the world first started to deteriorate, neither did Eric. Over time and since Eric had ceased recruiting, it was noticed by Aaron that he was falling back into the security of sleeping for at least 6 hours a night. He didn’t resent him for it, he’d done his time outside the walls and not being of high fighting caliber, it was no place for him. Aaron frequently found himself sitting up in bed and reading by candlelight until his eyelids became heavy and his body finally relaxed, sleep gradually creeping in and providing him with some rest. That night had been no different and as he opened his book and slid the bookmark from the page a loud crash from downstairs had him springing up from the mattress and grabbing his knife from where it was wedged between the bed and the bedframe for easy access. The metal scraped across the wood and Eric stirred from the noise, sitting up and rubbing one eye. In the flickering light of the candle on the nightstand he witnessed Aaron with his back slightly arched like a frightened cat and his hands hovering out in front of him, his knife held against one palm with his thumb. The hairs on the back of Eric’s neck stood on end.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Shh” Aaron hushed. He listened and quickly padded around the room when another crash, this time louder rose up the staircase and filtered into the room. He snatched up a box of matches from the nightstand and went to the window ledge, lighting two lanterns and holding one up to Eric.

“Get your knife.” He instructed with no other information that would shed any light on if Eric should be terrified or confident that Aaron knew what he was doing. He didn’t argue and swung his legs out of bed, dragging his knife from the chest of drawers at the other side of the bed and pulling his sneakers on. When he joined Aaron, he was already sneaking out of the door and into the dark hallway. “Stay behind me, keep quiet.” He whispered.

Eric was sure the stairs were never as noisy as they were when the both of them tiptoed down them, taking each one as if it were ten times bigger than it actually was. His hand was sweating around the handle of the knife and he prayed that no Walkers had managed to get past the guards, or worse still, any murderous humans like last time. He swallowed hard and placed a hand on Aarons back.

Aaron jolted and shot him an angry look over his shoulder, causing him to withdraw his hand and make a mental note not to touch him while he was in stealth mode.

“Can’t see a thing” Aaron muttered “I’ll get the living room; you check the kitchen. Stay alert.”

Eric nodded and quickly realized that he couldn’t be seen while he was nodding at the back of his boyfriend’s head.

“Okay” He agreed with a whisper.

As they reached the bottom of the steps, Aaron went off to the right and Eric, now on his own, veered off to the left and entered the kitchen. Moonlight poured through the windows but the corners of the room were shrouded in blackness and as he inched his way inside, he bypassed the light switch, completely forgetting that it would have given him the security of being able to see the whole room. He held out the lantern, which provided a dim glow that was bright enough to reveal a figure slumped on the floor against the refrigerator. He swallowed hard and noted his breathing becoming louder and faster as fear began to tickle at his nerves. The figure was still, with legs sprawled out and its head lowered.

He moved closer still, until he was standing by a boot-covered foot, able to make out the faint outline of military style footwear. Needing to know if he was going to be required to put down a Walker or kill a person, he drew a foot back and swiftly and firmly collided his sneaker with the intruder’s shin.

A loud yelp soon had Aaron racing across the house and into the kitchen, where he slammed the light on to find Eric curled up on the floor, clutching his ankle. Still in the same position against the refrigerator and clutching a bottle of Rum, was Jess.

“He kicked me.” She stated to a shell-shocked Aaron at the same time as gracelessly flinging an arm in Eric’s direction. “Not coming here anymore. I get kicked.”

Eric hauled himself up and Aaron leaned down to help him to his feet, both sets of confused eyes staring down at Jess. She lifted the bottle to her lips and took a large gulp of the liquid, screwing up her face and grunting as the alcohol burned her throat. “I guessss I was about to be st-stabbed as well as kicked.” She slurred. “Nice, niiiice.”

“What are you doing here?” Eric asked “You scared the hell out of us, we thought you were a Walker. Or one of those murdering freaks.”

“Oh, I’m a freak alright.” She mentioned “Not here for the murdering though…I’m here for the Rum” She held the bottle aloft and squinted at the contents. “Well whaddaya know, there was a lot more in there when I arrived.”

Aaron stepped closer after briefly patting Eric on the shoulder and signaling that he should probably handle things. Eric pulled out a chair from the dining table and flopped down onto it, running a hand through his hair, extinguishing the lantern and leaving his knife on the surface.

“Jess” Aaron cooed “What are you really doing here? What’s going on?”

His baggy white T-shirt and blue pajama pants caught her attention. They looked so comfortable, she was regretting leaving the confines of her home and her own, oversized, snuggly clothing. But now she had Rum, she was going nowhere.

Aaron was peering at her as he lowered himself to the floor and knelt down. He reached out, intending to take the bottle from her hands but she whipped it away and grit her teeth, a small, animalistic noise emerging from her throat.

“She just growled at you.” Eric pointed out. “Don’t take that bottle if you like your eyeballs in the right place.”

Aaron once again looked over his shoulder and furrowed his brow.

“What? She kicked me too. She’s obviously a mean drunk.” He shrugged.

“I am” Jess chuckled to herself as she allowed herself another gulp. “I am a mean drunk. No, I’m not. I’m not a mean drunk. I’m not a drunk. I’m not-not drunk. I don’t…drink. Usually. Tonight. I do. Tonight, I said ‘yes, Jess! You should get yourself a damn drank!’. I deserve a drink. I neeeeed a drink. But I sswear, I only had three sips.”

Eric began to chuckle from behind Aaron and he swiftly held his hand in front of his mouth.

“This reminds me of our first date.” He commented through his fingers.

Aaron closed his eyes and sighed at being reminded of a moment that was not his finest by far. Nerves and pressure ruled his actions that night and it was behavior he’d not repeated since.

“How many times? I was not drunk.” He insisted

“No. You were hammered.” Eric smirked.

Jess, who was apparently listening in her drunken stupor, let out a loud and messy laugh, throwing her head back so quickly it banged on the refrigerator. She gawped at Aaron in shock and continued to laugh as she rubbed the sore spot. Aaron winced at the strong smell of hard liquor that seemed to be clouding around her. While she was busying herself with her own hysterics, he quickly looked at Eric.

“I got this; you should go back to bed.” He told him.

“Hmm. Okay.” Eric agreed as he got up, collected his knife and glared down at Jess, seeing her lift the rum into the air and ‘cheers’ him. “I was saving that bottle, Missy.”

She grinned at him, a wide, shameless and toothy grin that caused both Aaron and Eric to swap an uncomfortable glance.

“Oopssss!” She giggled “Heh! Oh! Oh, it’s Rum! Story time! My parents used to call my brother the ‘Rum n’ Coke kid’. Because Rum…well, that’s what helped bring him into the world” She laughed heartily at her own anecdote.

Glad he was able to run away from having to tend to their intoxicated night guest, Eric left the room and headed up to bed. Aaron shifted around and settled next to her, his eyes lowering to the bottle when she thudded it onto the ground between them. He picked it up, took a sizeable swing from it and placed it back down again, out of her reach and in a much gentler manner than Jess could manage herself. If he was going to handle it, he was going to need a little encouragement.

“C’mon. Tell me.” He coaxed.

“Ooh I think I need sssome advice” she whispered

He was speaking but none of the words were sinking in, rather they just floated into one ear and out of the other. Her mind wasn’t in the room. It was back at the fairground and was yet again going over the messy events of the night before only this time, it was all blurred and distorted and seemed ten times worse than she remembered. She hesitated, dragging her sleeves over her hands and fiddling with them in a juvenile display of anxiety. Aaron scooted closer to her. She now had his undivided attention and was completely at his mercy with her extremely personal problem.

“OK, well, I’ll try my best. What’s going on?” He asked.

“Daryl and-and me. It got…well, we…” She paused, with no clue how to even begin to explain what had happened. “…I’m unprepared.” Was all she could manage to say.

Aaron narrowed his gaze at her and could come up with only one explanation from her stammered words. Quite why it had resulted in her letting herself into his home and drowning herself in booze was beyond him.

“There are rubbers in the bathroom cabinet.” He told her plainly.

It was at that point that she realized that it wasn’t going to be as easy as throwing some basic sentences his way and expecting him to put the pieces of the puzzle together. She was going to have to step up her bravery and bite the bullet.

“Ooohhhkaaayyy” she sighed “Not just unprepared. Inexperienced.”

Aarons eyebrows slowly lifted and his lips parted but his expression was nowhere near as shocked as Jess had envisioned while she’d been fretting about reveling her issues. She was as sure as the day was long that Aaron was the best person that she could have chosen to disclose such a problem to.

“Oh. I uh… I see. Inexperienced meaning completely inexperienced?” he enquired.

“Mmhmm” she squeaked.

“Ah” he stroked his beard and nodded thoughtfully. “Does Daryl know you’re a virgin?”

Her eyes shot up to the ceiling so fast that her eye sockets ached at the sound of the trigger word she’d managed to avoid for years. She hated it with a passion, yet she was at a point in her life where she was going to be forced to face it.

“Ugh. That darn word.” She groaned “Last night he uh, made a move on me. A big move. I got ssscared and threw him out and I feel sooo, so bad, Aaron.” She tilted her head back and pushed her lips together to try and stave off the approaching floodgate of tears that was beginning to topple over the barrier she’d put in place. Induced not only by the memory of it all, but by the alcohol too. They were fast morphing into tears of rage more than anything else. Her anger at herself increasing fast with every passing moment.

“You didn’t tell him?” He pressed gently.

She shook her head before batting at a stray tear and sniffing loudly.

“I wanted to. I really did and at first, I was fine. And he kept asking me if I was okay and I kept saying yes because I wanted to be. I really wanted to be and then, um…it just all hit me. All at once, like bam, you can’t do this. I just froze up and made him leave. He was crushed. He’s soo dreamy, Aaron. What the fuck is wrong with me?!”

Without asking, Aaron wrapped an arm around her and brought her to his shoulder, ignoring her tears creating a large wet patch on his T-shirt. He affectionately rubbed at her upper arm and hushed her. It was exactly what she needed, a genuine hug from a good friend to stave off the burning rage and gnawing sadness she carried with her and would only wallow in without him there to help her make sense of it all. She felt like a dead weight against Aaron’s body as she began to slump but he ignored it, telling himself that her inebriated state was to blame for that.

“Tell me what was going through your head.” He urged.

She remembered how busy her brain was at that point. She couldn’t deny that she loved the feeling of him kissing her in spots he never usually did, she was thinking of how incredible it felt to know that he was there because he wanted to be, because he wanted her in a way that no one else ever had. She thought about how his hands felt when he ghosted them over her chest and slid his thumbs along her inner thighs. But she was also plagued by insecurities and anxiety, so much so, that it had accumulated and hit her like a brick wall.

“That I wasn’t ready. That I’d disssa-dissappoint him. That I didn’t wanna get pregnant in an apocalypssse. That he’d think I’m ugly” She answered honestly “Among other things.”

She sat back up and dragged both hands down her face, sighing loudly and sending a piece of partially matted hair flying up at her hairline. She was dressed for hunting but as she’d walked through the trees with the intention of returning to the woods when the sun started to come up, she knew nothing would come of it. With her head so firmly placed elsewhere, she was more likely to catch a cold. Her palms were sweating and she tugged furiously at the zipper on her jacket but her fingers slipped away and Aaron stepped in, hovering his hand over hers to stop her from getting any more annoyed. He pulled her zipper down for her and she shrugged off her coat.

“All of those things you mentioned, they’re understandable, Jess. Not only that, they’re responsible. You’re right not to do anything you’re not ready for, that would only end up bad for the both of you. But you really need to tell him the truth” He advised, noticing that her tears were diminishing and her cheeks were left puffy and pink.

“I remember when I left high school, I was at home with three of my friends, all guys. Out of nowhere, one of them asks me if I still had my V-card and let me tell you…” she wagged a finger at him “…he was not quiet about it. I wasss...ahh, I wass mortified. It’s not easy, to jussst tell him. It’s not. Its this thing. This big, important thing that everyone seemsss to think is ssssooo damn easy.”

“Not necessarily.” Aaron corrected. “Do you love him, Jess?”

Her eyes seemed to glaze over and a smile tugged at one corner of her mouth when she thought about all the reasons why she felt so strongly about him.

“So much” She whispered “I love him so much that I spent most of the night throwing ssshit around my house because I messed everything up to such a cata-catastrophic level. I broke my favorite mug. It was a disaster. Then I cleaned everything up. And cleaned it again. I still can’t find a place to put the paint tin.”

“You can deal with that later.” Aaron said softly, placing hand on her shoulder. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe Daryl is just as terrified about this as you? Has he ever told you about any girlfriends he’s had in the past?”

“No girlfriends to speak of but hell, he’s no virgin.” She blurted out. “I don’t exactly have anything to compare it to but honestly, when I ignore how terrifying it was…it wasssalssso amazing. He was sssooo gentle and attentive. He didn’t have to take one single item of my clothing off and I wass imagining smothering him in Blue Belle ice cream and going…to…town. I think the guy might have ssskills.”

Seemingly impressed he nodded with interest and hummed to himself.

“Hmm. Well, Daryl sure is thorough when it comes to completing tasks. Looks like you’ll reap the benefits of that.” He commented with a smirk. “Okay, so to sum all this up; you’ve never had sex and he’s never had a girlfriend. You two are like the blind leading the blind but all it’s going to take is a little honesty and understanding. Just talk to him. I was right about everything up until this point. I’m on a winning streak, don’t let me down now.”

Jess leaned over him, collecting the bottle from his side and rapidly taking a gulp before he could stop her.

“You’re a wise and knowledgeable gay, y’know that?” She smiled across the bottles rim before taking another sip and discarding it on the floor. The harsh liquid hit her throat and helped to soothe her worry, brining her back down to earth and in the moment.

“I know” He agreed smugly “You may be drunk but I’m just glad you came to me and not Abraham or you’d have been sent on your way with a slap on the ass and a bag of sex toys by now.”

She chuckled at the observation, mainly because it wasn’t an inaccurate one at all. Abraham’s unorthodox reaction to such problems was to crack a joke and preoccupy himself with Rosita and some private time.

Her conversation with Aaron and his unwavering support confirmed to her that an idea she’d toyed with while scrubbing the diner clean was the correct course of action.

“There’s something else” She told him. “Please can I move in here with you and Eric?”

His face broke into a delighted smile and he leaned back in surprise. Ever since she’d arrived at Alexandria, Aaron had clicked with her and as much as she tried to keep her distance, coming across as cold and disinterested in any friendships, he could always tell when she was smiling behind her mask. Her eyes were telling and he knew she had a good sense of humour that gelled well with his own. Eric also liked her and they’d both enjoyed a much closer, much more trusting and open friendship since her mask come down and her real identity came forth.

“Of course, you can. Your room is exactly the same as the last time you stayed. I’m so pleased you listened to Deanna.” He expressed.

“I’m not doing it for Deanna.” She corrected.

“Ah.” He grunted. “Say no more. Hey, why don’t you ask Daryl to help you move? Be a good opportunity for you guys to talk.”

She turned to her side and dived at him, hugging him tightly as he laughed at her sudden gesture.

“Good idea, MonkeyNuts. Thank you.” She beamed.

After being coaxed to get up from the floor and leave the Rum alone, Aaron helped Jess up to the spare room, where she slipped into an alcohol induced, deep sleep that was more like a coma than proper rest. When she awoke, she had no idea that it was the middle of the afternoon the next day and all she could think about when her eyes flickered open was the heavy thudding in her head and the aching behind her eyes.

Still fully clothed, she groaned and clawed her way over the bedsheets to the glass of water on the nightstand that felt like it was a million miles away.

Hells bells. If ambulances were still a thing I’d be calling one right about now.

Reaching the glass, she slid it from the surface and gulped down the entire thing without a single breath, her lungs straining for air once she’d finally swallowed and savoured the much-needed hydration. Then, her stomach cramped and she buckled over, holding a hand to her abdomen.

Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up.

A wave of nausea hit her but she held her mouth closed and drew in a breath through her nose, willing it to be over as quickly as it started. Pleased when it subsided, she rolled out of the bed and shakily stood up, her joints feeling as though they were made from paper.

Leaving the room in such a state wasn’t an idea that appealed to her at that point and so, she sat back down, allowing herself a few minutes to get herself together. When Eric appeared with another glass of water and a most amused grin on his face, she rolled her sore eyes and politely asked him never to mention her little mishap to anyone.

It took her another hour to be able to face the sunshine outside but she couldn’t delay it any longer, she had to find Daryl and try to make things right, partly because she couldn’t handle another midnight meltdown on Aaron and Eric’s Kitchen floor.

It was the first time since her attack that she’d entered their kitchen and she could honestly say that due to her distressed state and near enough all of her inhibitions being lowered at the time, it had only taken once glance at the table for her to sneer in disgust as she experienced a rush of rage at the sight. But she’d pushed through it and although the darkness provided a cloak over the offending piece of furniture, she realized that avoiding it altogether for the rest of her days would only prolong the lasting effects she felt from such a trauma.

When evening set in, she found herself in the middle of the street, in front of the gate and having left Aaron and Eric begging her to just eat something to soothe her hangover. Still with a severe headache and the weight of what had happened on her shoulders, but feeling a little clearer about everything, she accepted that she had no choice but to brave seeing Daryl or the whole situation could spiral into something even worse; she could lose him altogether.

She scanned the area, checking the vegetable patch in front of her first. Then, she walked past the church and peered inside. Nothing. Upon passing Deanna’s place, she could see her sat her desk, embroiled in what looked like a heated argument with Spencer. Next, was the houses and the first one; the Grimes house.

She stopped in her tracks when she raised her vision from the path to find Daryl glaring back at her like a lion sitting before its kingdom. He was alone and she took that as a saving grace, having to put on a brave face in front of anyone else at that point was likely to end badly. Her heart sank at how infuriated he appeared to be with her. He didn’t speak, move or even blink as she gingerly took the steps up to the porch.

“Hi” she sighed. She knew better than to expect a response when she observed his standoffish aura and the strained atmosphere between them after her only having been present for a matter of seconds. “Are you busy?” she asked.

His dirty boots were rested on top of the clean, glass table and his seat was pushed back, balancing on it’s back two legs. Daryl always had a way of looking both relaxed and completely furious all at once.

“I look busy?” he grunted with a slight turn of one hand as if she’d asked a totally stupid question.

“We should talk.” She mentioned.

He immediately shook his head and lowered his chair back onto the porch floor with a loud clunk. He lifted his legs from the table and rested his ankle of one leg on his knee while he picked at the frayed patches sewn into his jeans.

“Naw. Spoke to Deanna this mornin’. I aint talkin’ to you ‘bout shit until you move your stubborn ass inside these walls.” He snapped, raising his voice and jabbing at the floor with a pointed finger to signify that he wanted her there and he wanted her safe.

“Actually, I was also going to ask you if you’d mind helping me move my stuff to Aaron and Eric’s.” She told him, seeing his face change slightly. Now, he was suspicious more than anything else. Did he really think she would be lying to him at a time like that?

“So, you are movin’.” He checked, feeling like he’d almost heard her wrong after her being so set on staying at the fairground before.

“Yeah. But I’m not doing it for Deanna. Or for Aaron and Eric, or even for myself. I’m doing it for you.”

The incensed but controlled look on his face didn’t wane again and it did little for her faith in repairing what she’d damaged. But he was thinking, she could see it in his body language as his thumb tapped on the chairs arm and he furiously nibbled at his lip.

“Right now?” He asked.

“Right now.”

He got up from his seat and Jess backed up as though he might bulldoze straight through her. He thumped down the steps and along the path without a single word.

Both the walk to the fairground and the first few minutes of packing Jess’s belongings into boxes was unbearably quiet and with each uncomfortably long minute passing, her temper increased and her head throbbed. Before long, and even with the persistent pain inside her skull, she was slamming items on the counter top, throwing clothes around and literally tossing things that she didn’t want over her shoulder.

Daryl was no different and he sought the ability to vent by ripping the blankets from her bed and scrunching them up into a messy ball before throwing them into a box and setting about cawing the pillow cases off. He plonked down onto the bare mattress and shoved the box aside when he was done, setting his sights on the pile of books on the makeshift coffee table.

Jess’s attention kept waning and every time she failed to stop herself from stealing a peep at him from across the room, she felt her chest glow with anger. But it was not aimed at him. It was directed at the situation and at herself. For not being like everyone else, for being so inconveniently different and slow off the mark, for being unable to keep her hang-ups and anxiety in check, for not being everything he needed her to be.

He’d made a pile on the bed of books and a myriad of trinkets and was organizing them into boxes, starkly aware that for the entire journey there and even after around twenty minutes, neither of them had said a single word to one another and the tension was becoming unbearable.

Jess was expelling her frustration by literally throwing things around and not even bothering to aim at boxes anymore. The jarring noises as they collided with the floor made Daryl cringe, but he didn’t show it. Jess needed the noise, it happened to be a whole lot easier to digest than her emotions at the time. She irritated herself even further by failing to fight the need to steal looks at him and she frequently took a deep breath, feeling the words move to the tip of her tongue before vanishing altogether. That was, until they didn’t.

“It wasn’t you.” She muttered while able to see the lack of movement from him as she picked up some spare holsters and checked over the buckles.

Daryl had expected to have to face such a topic at some point, but expecting it hadn’t made it any easier to enter into, especially when it went along with such an obvious display of frustration from the other side of the room. He’d spent the night trying to figure out what had gone so wrong, what it was that had suddenly caused her to change her mind and he had whittled it down to one thing; it most certainly was him, but he wasn’t wrong to try after so many demands for answers.

Course it was me. I’m a fuckin’ Dixon. All we ever do is fuck shit up.

“I’m a fucking freak.” She huffed under her breath. She heard him scoff loudly before he pulled the sheets back out of the box and started to fold them messily.

“Bullshit.” He muttered, telling himself that she wasn’t going to turn the tables on him and play the sympathy card. She had been the one to demand an explanation and to him, he’d gone a step further than just telling her. He’d shown her and it had backfired to the point where he wasn’t sure if anything would be the same again. He didn’t grace her with any more words, instead he continued to fold the fabric. Then, he sensed her stop from the corner of his eye. He braced himself, fearing that things would escalate into a falling out that he’d rather not endure. She rubbed at her temples with a pained expression and he noted the bags under her eyes.

“When I say I’m a freak, I mean that I might joke about not having any experience in relationships, but it’s not just the emotional part that I’m talking about…. It’s the physical part too.”

He paused with the sheets still pinched between his fingers, his hands held up in mid-air.

“What?”

“I’ve never been with anyone.” She blurted out “Not even up to second base. No one’s ever been up to bat. I thought maybe I found someone in the past but he lied to me and hurt me. He used me to get to my best friend and ever since, I just knew it wouldn’t happen for me…” She took a deep breath, seeing his captivated but still stern expression “…and it didn’t. Until you kissed me last night and I realized that you were there because you wanted to be. Yeah, I freaked the fuck out. I have never had someone that I care about so much want me like that and being the dumbass and overthinker that I am, it all got too much and I had to stop.”

It was a long time before he spoke and the weight of Jess’s confession hung in the air like smoke. Daryl sank down onto the bed with his hands wringing in front of him as he leaned forwards with his elbows on his knees. She noted that his body language was all pointed in the opposite direction and he was determined to keep his attention focused away from her, it was something that toyed with her need to panic.

It hadn’t crossed his mind. Not once amid the clandestine meetings and secret kisses. Never during the moments of wandering hands or breathless whispers. She kissed him like she meant it and her inexperience was a revelation not only because of her age and the way she returned his flirting, but because he thought her to be an incredible example of feminine strength and resilience, a bright light when she smiled and laughed and the most captivating thing he’d ever seen. He couldn’t wrap his head around why no one had tried until now.

“I didn’t know.” He murmured before summoning up the courage to say what he knew he really needed to before he lost his chance. “There’s some stuff I gotta say to you.”

“Okay” She sniffed.

He shifted to the edge of the mattress, in amongst the tousled sheets and rubbed at his short, grey tinted beard with his thumb and forefinger.

“You’re the first person that’s ever mattered to me. More than my own life” He started, much to Jess’s surprise. “I never had nobody that I actually wanted to spend time with. Or wanted to spend time with me. You drive me crazy one-minute n’ make me laugh two seconds later.” He risked a peek at her and Jess heard a small growl followed by a deep breath. It was obvious that he was highly uncomfortable and she wanted more than anything to reach out and go to him, to hold his hand, but the taut muscles in his jaw told her that it was best to leave him be. “Everythin’ in my head tells me to run. But my heart…says somethin’ different. It says ‘don’t run, you fuckin’ asshole. She’s right there. Take a chance.’ I’m scared shitless by all this and you- you slapped me in the face by demandin’ that I leave when I finally put myself on the line.”

Her eyes flickered and a familiar but unwanted knot formed in her throat. She tried to swallow it away but then her eyes grew hot and her vision turned glassy. She didn’t just have a hangover to contend with. Now, tears brimmed, at risk of overflowing and she gasped in a shaky breath. Daryl sprang up from the bed, horrified that he’d made her cry but glad that he’d managed to say his piece and let her know just how she’d made him feel.

“Oh god.” She whimpered, briefly covering her face with her hands and giving in to the onslaught of sadness that was rushing to the surface. Daryl could only slowly wander back and forth with his head tilted to the ceiling as if it held all the answers. “Daryl…I…will you look at me?” She pleaded.

“I can’t right now.” He uttered with a small shake of his head.

“Please, Daryl. Please look at me. Please.” She begged, her voice cracking and tears now streaming down her face. “I need you to look at me…please.”

It took every bit of his resolve but her helpless pleas were chipping away at him, with every request she cried at him, another piece of him seemed to fall away to nothing. He stopped walking and finally connected his eyes with hers through his messy hair.

“I didn’t mean to throw you out like I did. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never do that. My head was just so damn loud, I just needed to be alone. God, I handled this so badly and I’m so sorry. You can just say it, tell me I’m an asshole.”

“No” he refused.

“Please. Just say it. You hate me.” She was begging him with wet cheeks and even found herself taking a step forward before realizing that it was pointless. It didn’t matter how much space was in the room between them, she felt further away from him than she had ever been in the time since he’d walked back into her life. The air in the room seemed to turn thick and she felt like she might choke. Daryl stopped his anxiety induced ritual and willed himself to meet her eye for the sentence he was about to deliver. She needed to hear it and she also needed to believe it.

“I aint ever gonna hate you.” He assured her.

A breath left her lungs in a rush and she crumpled, her shoulders sagging and her body falling back and hitting the countertop behind her. Her back griped at the pain but it wasn’t as important enough as the sheer relief that was coursing through every fiber of her being.

He doesn’t hate me.

Moving to the window and skirting around bags and his crossbow, he looked out at the view beyond the diner. The sun was high in the sky and the entire fairground was bathed in its glow. Leaves on the trees in the distance glittered in the breeze and for a few, fleeting seconds he wished he was out there, stalking through the woods and hunting anything other than a resolution to such a complex and baffling subject. With his new found knowledge of Jess’s position, his chest felt tight with guilt when he remembered how events had unfolded.

“Shit.” He hissed to himself through fingers that were pressed against his mouth “I fuckin’ scared ya.” He stated as he turned back to her “When I pulled ya against me. If I’d known you’re a…” he trailed off, unsure if he could use the word and if it would offend her or not. “…y’know. I wouldn’t have gone that far. Why didn’t ya tell me?”

She tried to think of an occasion that it would have been appropriate to convey such a personal thing and came up with nothing. There was never a right time to discuss such matters and she considered that maybe she should have just mentioned it in passing, during one of their deep conversations and saved both of them from having to deal with such a difficult situation. Things didn’t always work the way people wanted them to though, the end of the world made sure of that. Had she known his intentions towards her were genuine, the chances of her dropping such a bombshell still would have been slim, try as she might, she couldn’t just shake off the embarrassment and shame of being such a late bloomer.

“How? When?” She sniffed, picking up a T-shirt from the box on the countertop and messily rubbing at her face with it. “There was no ideal moment for that. What was I supposed to say? ‘Please can you pass me that tin of beans, by the way I haven’t ever had sex before?’. I didn’t know you wanted me like that. I didn’t even know why you were kissing me. I thought maybe it was just a little fun for you until someone prettier came along.”

Her words were hanging in the air along with the dust particles that were illuminated by the light shining through the now uncovered window. Having to move and pack meant they needed more light but Jess found herself to be standing right in it, as if she were the subject of some kind of cruel joke while standing in a spotlight for everyone to see. But Daryl was the only other person present and that was suffocating enough. Her heart sank when he turned back to the window and began picking at the black paint on the glass, letting more light in, one, small fraction at a time.

“So that’s what you think of me” He stated quietly. “That I’d use you ‘n toss ya aside for somebody else.”

“I didn’t know. You wouldn’t talk about it. Why wouldn’t you go for someone prettier instead of wasting your time with me? I’m just-”

“-’Cause to me there ain’t nobody prettier than you, Jess!” he suddenly raged from nowhere, his body spinning around and his legs carrying him a couple of strides closer to her. She was silenced and after shock had taken control of her facial features, her mouth gradually fell open. Although he appeared angry, she could see it in his face and in the way he squeezed his eyes shut and bit down on his lip as if he was in pain – he was struggling to say what he wanted but was pushing through with total determination anyway. “What you’re sayin’, it’s bullshit. I wanna kiss you every god damn time I see you.” He told her, braving eye contact once more and finding that his outburst had taken her completely off guard. “It wasn’t no mistake. It never was. I knew what I was doin’ n’ I’ve known every time since. I know I should have talked to ya but…I just really don’t know how. Whatever’s happened between us, it’s happened ‘cause we both wanted it to n’ I know, Jess… I know it ain’t enough of an explanation to you, but right now it’s all I got ‘cause this whole thing it- it’s fuckin’ with my head.”

The only explanation he could offer her was so much more than he’d delivered before and finally, she felt as if they might be getting somewhere. There was still the small issue of her own self-esteem and how difficult it made it for her to accept such a thing to be true. What did he even see in her? What did she have that was so appealing to him? It was a mystery to her, but one that she was comfortable to live with for the time being. She appreciated his honesty, even more so after witnessing how tough it had been for him to say it.

“Thank you…for trying to explain.” She whispered.

“You believe me?” he shot back like he was reading her mind.

“As much as my suspicious mind allows me to.” Lying to him to save on the embarrassment was not an option. He was right, he’d put himself on the line and took a chance on her. She’d hurt him and thrown him out but now he was opening up in a way that was beyond uncomfortable for him and the least she could do was tell him the truth.

He moved back over to the bed, sitting down again and plucking at a thread on the knee of his jeans. He was staring at her. Relentless and intense. Her heart fluttered.

What is he doing?

“I know you like me” he admitted.

“What?” she asked.

“Heard ya, talkin’ to Aaron, a long time ago. I know you like me.”

Her reaction was both fascinating and endearing to him as he saw her hear tilt back, her eyes close and a small huff of breath leave her chest.

“For the love of god.” She growled to herself. She was so sick of being caught out with everything, every time she tried to be sneaky and under the radar it was exposed and she was left humiliated. Once, she’d moved in the shadows and eluded detection by Walkers and human’s alike. Once, she’d been nothing but a slight movement in the trees or a set of footprints in the dust. Now, it felt like everything she ever said or did was broadcast, just like back at the quarry when her journal was read out as if it were a public service announcement. “Good job I never joined the CIA or the FBI. Agent obvious over here.”

He couldn’t help it; he gave in and allowed the corner of his mouth to lift at the sight of her exasperation at being caught out. He decided to try and encourage her to do the same.

“Was the best thing I’d heard in a long time.” He said. She didn’t smile, but it was satisfying enough for Daryl to see her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and her eyes flit away from him and then back again. “Noticed how ya got all shy n’ shit and blushed a lot. Kinda like ya are now. But I wasn’t sure that ya liked me like that. I didn’t know what I was fuckin’ lookin’ for with that stuff, if I had an idea it would have died of loneliness. Then, I actually heard ya say it and…well, figured I better man the hell up n’ kiss ya, ‘fore ya changed ya damn mind. Still don’t get it, think ya must have hit your head real hard or somethin’.”

“Stop it” She mumbled. And there it was, subtle but undeniable, she smiled at him thinly. “Look, last night you didn’t force me to do anything. You asked my permission; you did everything right. But you know I didn’t always look like this, Daryl. Yeah, I’m now available with forty percent less fat but the insecurities? They’re still there. I’m real self-conscious and there were so many things going through my mind. I wasn’t ready, I didn’t want to disappoint you, I didn’t want to get pregnant, I didn’t want you to think I’m ugly and I didn’t want to be horrible at it. And as much as I thought I was over the attack; it was the only other time that somebody has ever touched me where you did. There was also the fact that it felt amazing and I was just so confused. Things were building up and it was serious and emotional and when you pulled me against you… it-it made it so real.”

He lowered his head and slowly rubbed the forefinger and thumb of one hand across his temples. She heard a strangled rasp of irritation emanate from him before he looked back over at her.

“Can’t stand that I scared ya.” He conveyed sincerely and with a certain degree of sadness that was not lost on Jess. It nudged at her need to reassure him.

“I’m a virgin. I was going to be scared anyway if it was you or somebody else. I know it’s weird and awkward and you can go right ahead and laugh if you want.” She joked with the flick of a hand in his direction.

“I look like I’m finding this funny to you? He shot at her with a sudden, tetchy change in tone. He was switching between moods so quickly it was starting to make her head spin.

“No. I’m just trying to lighten the mood. Dang.” She complained.

“I shouldn’t have done it. You didn’t want it.” He blurted out.

“Yes, I did.”

“No, you didn’t. I’ll back off.”

“No.” She said a little quicker than she’d intended “I mean, unless you don’t want to do the… uh, the kissing thing and…maybe more. Later. Not today. I have shit to do. I don’t-I don’t know. I mean, I understand if you don’t want to carry on with whatever the hell it is that we’ve been doing. I can’t exactly give you what you want”

“What I want?”

“Yeah, I have no experience and I’ll just be terrible” she dismissed shyly.

“You think that’s all I want?”

“What? No, I didn’t mean-”

Then, he laughed. A short, sarcastic laugh laced with anger. It meant Jess started to panic and she took a step back when he stood up and locked her in his sights.

“Do you really think I would have spent the last few weeks kissing you if that was all I wanted? Damn, Jess, that is a whole lotta effort to get laid for a guy that barely fuckin’ talks to folks. I really gave ya that impression?”

“N-No-” She stammered uselessly.

“What then, huh? You do, don’t ya? Ya think I only talk to ya because of that.”

“No! Oh my god. No. I don’t know about this stuff, okay? I don’t know how guys think or how any of this is supposed to work.” She tried. But it was already obvious that she was digging herself a rather large hole.

“How guys think? I ain’t like other guys, Jess! Ya ain’t worked that out yet?! I aint my fuckin’ brother!”

Her heart almost broke into two pieces at him ever entertaining the thought that he was anything like Merle. She’d seen first-hand the way Merle was with women. Chauvinistic. disrespectful. Rude. He treated them like objects, things he could pick up and use when he wanted. Daryl was the polar opposite and she couldn’t understand why he would ever think otherwise.

“I know!” She cried, before making a marked effort to lower her own voice so it didn’t escalate the situation. “I know you’re different and that’s a good thing. Jesus, you’re my superhero. My Bucky Barnes, Daryl. You know that. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

There it was again, that reference to her favourite superhero. He would never understand why she saw him that way, but he was willing to go with it, unable to ignore the pride it made him feel. After never having been anything to anyone, being someone’s superhero was definitely something he could live with. It told him that she did see a lot more in him that he ever did and also that she perceived him as turning into the better man that she always thought he was, under the Dixon brother façade.

“I ain’t offended” he grumbled.

“You are, but alright.” She scoffed.

“You gotta know that I ain’t all about that. I ain’t Merle. I’m not. I only-I only kiss you. It’s just you.” He stammered.

This can’t get much fuckin’ worse. Might as well take Abe’s advice n’ grab the bull by the nutsack.

“Fuck it. I’m just gonna say this. Don’t take it the wrong way.” Before he could give her time to respond, she blinked in surprise when he crossed the room and stopped in front of her, far enough away to not be imposing yet close enough that she could see the conflict behind his eyes. He could also detect the faint odour of liquor in the air and coupled with her temple rubbing and tired eyes, there could only be one reason.

Is she…hungover?!

“I know you n’ Abe are friends.” He stated, ignoring the fact that he could smell liquor a mile away, ever since he was a child, he’d been able to trace the smell of alcohol, his father had made sure of that. But it wasn’t the time to bring it up, there were more pressing matters. “He’s kickin’ kinda close to the damn mark if ya ask me but I know he thinks a lot of ya n’ I can’t argue with that. But Spencer… guy makes me madder than boiled owl n’ if he ever touches ya, I’ll fuckin’ kill him. Unless I’m threatening the likes of that asshat I ain’t ever good with words so… I wanted to show ya that you were wrong. If I said I didn’t have designs on ya last night, I’d be lyin’. I did want you. Think you could…feel that at the time.” He expressed, diverting his gaze from her face and hating the sensation of crawling dread in his veins. He was now so far out of his comfort zone, it was making him sweat.

“Yeah, that was um…new.” She mentioned, willing herself to stop talking but somehow, words continued to pour out of her mouth “Not altogether unpleasant but still…new. Not felt a whole lotta…um…those-that…before. Well, shit. I’m rambling. I’ll shut up.”

“Right” he huffed. She was pleased to find that despite her humiliating waffling, it had made him smile again and this time it was brighter and had changed his body language entirely. He leaned sideways on the countertop, relaxing his shoulders and Jess felt a rush of relief.

“I was just scared.” She told him.

“I know. S’ya first time. Pretty big deal. Should think ‘bout it n’ who ya want it to be with. Ya don’t want me, you can do better.” He expressed, picking a rag from the countertop and folding it in half. He smoothed his fingers along the crease and dumped it on the box that rested on a stool between them.

She wanted to grab him, shake him and tell him that there would never be anyone else because of one, very relevant reason; she loved him. The notion that she would ever bypass him was almost laughable. She moved away from the counter top to the couch and beckoned him to follow her. He did without question and set aside a pile of arrows so he could sit down at her side.

“Daryl, I trust you” Her voice lowered to a shy mumble “This is going to sound weird but I don’t get butterflies like most folks, I get frickin’ dragons flying around in there and that’s why I get all flustered and shy… because of you. You do that to me. Of course, It helps that you’re physically all that n’ a bag of potato chips. Why the hell would I want my first time to be anyone else but you?”

“Uh…” He rasped with a slow rub of his chin. He was shocked and his face screwed up in complete bafflement. He’d not faced such a declaration before and struggled to hide his amazement. “Really?!” he asked.

“Yes. Really. But you don’t have to. I totally get it if you don’t want to.”

“Nobody’s ever said nothin’ like that to me before. Means a lot…comin’ from you” he uttered. “If ya want this and you’re sure and I mean like, a hundred percent, then I’m with ya.”

“Oh. K. Good” She whispered, blushing furiously. Her cheeks were so hot it was starting to seep into the rest of her body but a quick glance at Daryl told her that she was not the only one feeling the heat of the topic.

After a few passing moments during which she quickly held her fingers to her cheeks in a failed attempt to cool them down, Daryl turned to her and studied her face without speaking for such a long time that she expected him to change his mind. He was torn between wanting the world for her and knowing he wasn’t good enough and feeling an electric and nearly unbreakable pull towards her all the time. He couldn’t wrap his mind around how she saw him but was extremely flattered, bashful and more than a little proud. Bowled over by the fact that she liked him enough to want to take such a step, he couldn’t help but worry about his lack of emotional experience when it came to intimacy. Having sex with someone hadn’t ever been more than a fumble in the dark, a drunken encounter or a means to an end for Daryl. Now, that would all change and he would be contending with something he wasn’t as aligned with as he would have liked.

“While we’re confessin’ …I ain’t…” he started, knowing that matching her brave confession would do wonders to quell her anxiety “…I ain’t ever had sex with nobody I gave a damn about. It was like - I dunno - it was always just a physical thing or somethin’ I did when I was drunk or high. Ain’t nobody ever trusted me with somethin’ so big before. Would kinda be a first for me too. Bein’ with somebody that matters.”

How is Aaron right about everything?! She thought.

“You really don’t have to” She reminded him.

“Jesus Christ” He growled in frustration as he leaned back on the sofa and sighed loudly. “Ya wanna have sex with me? Great, let’s do it. Ya don’t, that’s fine too. Alright?”

“Oh. O-OK.” She chuckled. He shook his head and was soon mirroring her, the both of them just about done with such a taxing conversation “I need to take things slow. Like, super slow.” She warned him.

“I know. I ain’t ever gonna make you do stuff ya ain’t good with. Just find a way to tell me if ya, y’know…”

“… wanna change up to second base?”

He laughed again, placing a hand on her knee. Her stomach flipped with excitement and happiness at the small gesture. It was like he was giving her confirmation and not just of their agreement, but of the fact that nothing between them had been damaged. In fact, it had strengthened due to their unabashed, yet tough to deliver honesty.

“Yeah. That.” He smiled.

“Thank you. For understanding. And not judging me.” She said as she positioned her hand over his and felt him lift his fingers, lacing them between her own.

“Don’t be stupid. I’d never judge ya for that shit. Ain’t really a bad thing. Better to be that way than fallin’ outta a dive bar with a different guy every night.” He mused with a shrug.

Curiosity was already starting to rear its head for Jess. She had questions, multiple questions but didn’t want to ask them all at once and risk undoing all their progress. And so, she chose one, single question that would have to suffice until a later date.

“You don’t have to answer this, but what was your first time like?” she questioned.

“Quick.” He answered without hesitation. “She was alright I guess, but I didn’t really know her. We was both high as shit. Got the job done but it was a damn mess.”

“The ‘job’?” She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah…first time, done. Just like that. I was just lookin’ forward to Merle easin’ up on callin’ me a fancy boy for a while.” He huffed.

She giggled quietly and looked down at their hands. Daryl had noted her vulnerability since they’d arrived at the fairground and while she still held some of it, she seemed happier as she slid her hand under his and watched him graze his thumb back and forth over her skin.

The curiosity was not only on Jess’s side. Daryl had questions too but was never one for probing for information, he usually waited until it was offered but things had changed and he thought that maybe he could be afforded an exception or two.

“There a bar ‘round here I don’t know about or somethin’?” he asked.

Her eyes widened and she slowly raised a hand to her face, breathing on her palm and sniffing it. Horrified by the result, she pressed the fingers of both hands to her lips and looked at him, shocked.

“Ahh I smell like a traaaamp.” She groaned. “I was sad. I might have had a little help to get me through the night. All it did was leave me with a headache and little to no dignity. I swear, I brushed my teeth. It’s like I have a cloud of Rum following me around.”

“Booze does that.” He smiled. “Mind if I ask ya somethin’ else?”

“Shoot. This can’t get much more embarrassing.”

“Ya ain’t never…almost?” he enquired warily

“No.” She shook her head , found his hand again and gripped his fingers that little bit tighter. “No guys ever liked me enough. Not even the asshole that lied about liking me. Thought the only dude that would be interested was Dracula.”

“What?” He chuckled.

“Y’know, my pure, virgin blood” she announced dramatically in a strange accent.

“Only thing your blood is gonna do is get Dracula fuckin’ hammered.”

She laughed loudly and Daryl was pleased to be moving out of the danger zone and back into their usual way of conversing. The subject matter being so personal only proved that what he’d seen as a setback was actually a stepping stone in the right direction.

“I’m a precious commodity in the supernatural world…Hey, maybe if you change your mind you could always sacrifice me to the volcano gods, or offer me up as some kind of bargaining chip to get rid of the Walkers. I hear Satan likes them pure.” She suggested in amusement.

He leaned into her and nestled at her neck, the soft brush of his lips on her skin made her close her eyes and tilt her head to allow him better access.

“Satan’s gonna have to find somebody else.”

Her heart, finally was somewhat at peace now she knew where she stood and although she couldn’t understand what it was that drew him to her in such a way, in that moment, she couldn’t have cared less. With his hand holding hers and his lips leaving small kisses along her neck, she was happy.

- - - -

Masterlist

- - - -

#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #twd daryl #daryl x oc

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

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Really good story

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

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🤤

Healer 😎💖🔥

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

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Oh. Em. Gee.

Did something happen?

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

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This Time Around - Chapter 29

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 30/?

Exhaustion was not the word. In fact, there wasn’t a strong enough word that Jess could pluck out of the air to explain how tired everyone was when they finally rolled back through the gates. The sun was high in the sky and she could tell that Rick and Deanna were on the verge of sending out a search party by the look of the small gathering of worried faces on Deanna’s front lawn.

Enid was the first to climb from the car, followed by Carl, who was promptly swept into Rick’s arms after he’d sprinted across the lawn and path to the gate. Following Rick, was Carol who wasted no time in approaching Daryl and draping her arms over his shoulders. He returned her embrace and Jess sheepishly watched from the other side of the car. She didn’t see such a thing often, or ever, when she really thought about it. Daryl wasn’t a hugger; he’d said it himself. But he made exceptions for Jess and now, as far as she could tell, for Carol too. When he dropped his arms and walked to the car’s trunk, he flung it open and retrieved his crossbow, turning to find that Carol was not satisfied with one hug and no explanation and she was hovering around him with an angry glare.

“Where did you go?! We were worried.” She demanded.

“The girl got taken. Those assholes that attacked this place. Had to go get her.” Was his short and basic reply.

“Oh god, is everybody okay?” She looked around and with her eyes, quickly scanned Carl and Enid, who was awkwardly standing on the side-lines and hugging her torso. Then, she noticed Jess from under her hood, and the harsh bruise across her cheekbone.

“Jess! What happened?!” She cried, surging past Daryl and reaching out to push her hood back. Jess flinched and jolted backwards, swerving out of her reach.

“Oh, I got slapped. It looks worse than it is.” She dismissed, grabbing her backpack from the trunk and throwing it over one shoulder.

“That looks very sore.” Carol mentioned.

“I’ve had more troublesome zits. Honestly, it’s fine.” She assured her.

A light tap on her shoulder saw her flinch again, her uneasiness down to the sudden attention and stares she was receiving. Apparently, their absence had been noticed by most of the town. Enid lowered her hand and twisted it inside the sleeve of her dirty hoodie

“Thank you, guys.” She said quietly. “For coming to get me.”

“Sure. Maybe you should stay inside the walls now from now on though, hmm?” Jess suggested, horrified by the thought of her getting recaptured. Enid, clearly traumatized by her ordeal didn’t have to agree, a slight nod of her head told Jess that she wasn’t likely to be going on another solo jaunt anytime soon.

“Hey, if you need me, just let me know. If you need to get out you can come to the fairground.” She proposed as she took hold of the girls sleeve covered hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. A subtle but genuinely thankful smile was all Enid could manage before she backed away and started walking along the sidewalk.

“Enid, wait.” Carl called out. But before he went to her, he broke away from Rick, veered over to a puzzled Jess and took a quick glance over his shoulder in case anybody was listening. By that point, people were gathering around Daryl, who was being forced into explaining the ins and outs of everything they’d endured for the last day. Jess caught Aaron’s eye across the crowd and he stared, wide-eyed at her cheek and mouthed the words ‘are you okay?’ at her. She nodded and waved him off, replying in the same way and telling him she’d catch him later.

“Jess” Carl whispered “I wanna tell her. I think I have a good shot now.”

“Well, you did blow a guys head off for her. I think so too.” She grinned. The pulling of the tissue in her face when she smiled made the swelling of her bruise thrum with pain, but she pushed it aside.

“How do I know if she likes me back? What if she doesn’t say anything?” he fretted.

“Look at her eyes.” She told him. “When we’re around someone we love, or that we’re attracted to, our pupils dilate. But, Carl…this stuff, it doesn’t happen overnight when it’s complicated by a third person being in the mix. It’s a process and you’ve started it by being there for her and protecting her. She does have a boyfriend and unless she tells you otherwise, you can’t really make a move. Be honest, but respect the boundaries. Got it?”

“Got it. Thanks, for everything.” He said sincerely.

“Don’t be stupid. Go on, now. She’s waiting for you.”

Carl immediately spun around and walked over to Enid and Jess felt a strange sense of pride when she overheard him ask her if he could walk her home. Feeling someone’s eyes on her, she checked the group of people to her left to find Daryl watching her as Rick, Deanna, Carol and Aaron all discussed the information he’d given them.

She held a thumb out and used it to gesture to the gate and he understood that she was telling him that she’d had enough, she was heading home. He wound his way around the group and paced back and forth a couple of times, not content with Jess wandering around alone after everything they’d just been through. Carol noticed his unsettled demeanor and broke away from the others as he started to walk towards the gate, following on after Jess when she disappeared from sight. Carol broke into a jog, tapping his arm and halting him before he left the compound. He turned to find a solid smirk on her face and her lips pursed. She said nothing and her shoulders swished back and forth slightly, as if she were expecting a golden piece of gossip and couldn’t hold back her excitement.

“What?” Daryl sighed.

“You kissed her yet?” She asked boldly.

Daryl huffed to himself but didn’t speak a word, his eyes and body language conveying everything as he shifted from one foot to the other and pushed his lips into a thin line. With one hand on his crossbow strap, the other toyed nervously with a hole in the side seam of his dirty, ripped jeans. Carol could see his ears turning pink and she’d never been so proud of him.

“You have” She stated with a wink.

“Y’know, if money was still a thing, I could have bet a hundred bucks that you were gonna ask me that.” Daryl relayed in exasperation. When Carol was on a mission, she rarely backed down and had her ways of getting what she wanted. Too many people had underestimated her intelligence and cunning. But not Daryl, he knew Carol better than anyone.

“I’m proud of you, Pookie.” She beamed.

“Shut up.” He grunted with a thin layer of amusement.

“Go get her.” She told him as she walked backwards to join the others. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later.” He called back.

Jess was pushing through the undergrowth and shoving branches aside when she heard Daryl approach. She didn’t bother to turn around or acknowledge his presence at first, she was concentrating too hard on getting back to the fairground, to her comfortable clothing and bucket of clean water to wash the dust and mud from her skin. More than anything else, she just wanted her bed and she didn’t care one single iota that it was the middle of the afternoon.

“Shouldn’t be out here alone no more.” He heard him express from behind her.

She didn’t stop walking, her boots crunching and snapping twigs under foot as she pressed on. It had been expected, the idea that no one, especially females, should be seen alone outside the walls now a group of armed and dangerous men had been humiliated by having something precious stolen from right under their noses. But Jess wasn’t phased in the slightest. To her, the danger was no more relevant now than it ever had been before.

“In case you hadn’t noticed. I’m a certified badass now.” She boasted. The fencing to her home loomed over the tall bushes in the distance and she’d not been so glad to see it since after the attack on Alexandria

“Never said ya wasn’t.” He felt the need to say, assuring her of his belief in her ability to take care of herself. He hadn’t followed her because he thought she was incapable; he’d followed her for his own peace of mind. That, and the more he’d had to face the notion of losing her and seeing her hurt over the passing weeks, the more he was realizing how deep his feelings really stretched.

“I’m so tired I feel like my eyeballs might fall out of my head and my bones are made of pure dust. I need a shower and around six months of sleep, but sure, follow me home. I don’t mind. Really!” She rambled. Reaching the gate, she unlocked it and wandered inside, shooting him a knowing look while stepping to one side and allowing him inside.

I’m going to sleep if you’re here or not, buddy. But if you want to curl up with me, I won’t say no.

Ignoring her blatant sarcasm, he followed her to the diner, through the door and dropped his tired body onto the edge of the bed, listening to her potter around and clean up. His eyes were heavy and his body ached, the cuts and scrapes on his arms were also starting to sting but he told himself he would deal with them in due course, he had other priorities to handle in the meantime. On the table by the bed, he picked up a piece of white, nylon twine. It was partially braided, neatly and with precision until halfway along, where it had frayed and been abandoned. He set about rectifying it, his problem-solving mind taking to the small task quickly and welcoming something else to focus on aside from how tired he was.

Eventually Jess sank down beside him on the bed and yawned. He noted her sweatpants and loose T-shirt. She most definitely was ready for bed and it wasn’t even dark yet. She observed his fiddly task as he braided the twine and took one of his hands in hers. Her skin was soft and warm and he wanted to hold onto her and snuggle into her like never before but he pushed his urges away and remained stoic. She ran her fingertips over the littering of small cuts across his palms.

“Should really get these cleaned up.” She mused.

“I will.” He mumbled, stealing a glance at her. “How’s the cheekbone?”

She tilted her head back and lowered her eyes, frowning at the result it presented.

“Well, I can see it without a mirror and that can’t be good. I’ll put something cold on it tonight.” She said. Having not had much time to pay any attention to how she might look, it dawned on her that her face must look horrendous for Carol and Aaron to notice it at a distance. She could see for herself that it was swollen and discolored, but to be able to detect the blurry outline of it whenever she looked down meant that her current appearance didn’t bear thinking about. “Heeeey, you guys!” She exclaimed in a deep and slurred voice, hoping that Daryl would catch onto the reference and she wouldn’t have to explain her joke to him.

“You do not look like Sloth. Don’t be an idiot.” He muttered before bringing the twine to his mouth and gripping it with his teeth to tighten it. She decided there and then that she liked him even more for having seen The Goonies and clicking onto her joke so quickly.

Her eyes moved down to his arms. Smeared with dirt and blood and shiny with sweat. She didn’t know how he could look as though he’d been dragged through a swamp but still managed to completely captivate her until she was almost drooling. He certainly was attractive, unconventionally and in a rough and ready kind of way, but knowing the man under the exterior only enforced it.

“You don’t want to go and get some rest?” She enquired.

“Wanna hang around a while, make sure we ain't been followed. You livin’ out here all alone, it ain't such a good idea. Need to keep you around in case ya need to save my life again.”

The last part of his sentence lingered in her head, echoing back and forth and she wondered why he would say such a thing. She hadn’t saved his life back at the college. In fact, the only time she had recently, without doubt, saved his life was when he’d been shot. She remembered Denise’s words while sitting by his bedside with Rick.

‘Guys, he’s not going to make it if I don’t get some blood in him and soon.’

“What do you mean?” She asked

His lips parted and a small breath caught in his throat. He knew he was about to tread on thin ice but he needed to know why she neglected to tell him such a significant piece of information.

“Got your blood in my veins. Can’t just let ‘em have ya.” He uttered.

She stared at the side of his head. His eyes were lowered to his hands where he still fiddled with the twine. He was refusing to look at her. Her stomach lurched. She tried to find the words, tried to come out with something that might help her explain herself but all she felt was dread. She never wanted him to feel indebted. To her, she’d simply helped him out when he needed it. But she was well aware that his train of thought was not akin to hers.

“You know about that.” Was all she could say.

“Yup. Carol. She thought I knew. I should have known. You should have told me.” He said sadly. “Why didn’t you?”

She shrugged wordlessly and lifted her hands in a motion that told Daryl she was searching for some kind of explanation herself. It did little to fill him with confidence.

“Wasn’t much to tell.” She blurted out. Daryl’s eyebrows pinched together and he felt himself flush with anger.

Not much to fuckin’ tell?! Is she playin’ with me right now? She saved my god damn life and she thinks there ain't much to tell?!

“You just needed a top up and I happened to have some spare. That’s all.” She added nonchalantly.

Then, he turned his head and looked at her blasé expression. His face hardened and she could sense he was growing angrier by the second. She may not have wanted him to think much of it, but it was becoming evident that he already did.

“Don’t do that.” He warned her.

“What? Do what?” She asked innocently.

“Don’t you dare fuckin’ trivialize it like that. Carol told me everythin’. She said you almost passed out and I know I’d be dead if it wasn’t for you. Why didn’t you tell me, Jess?”

“Alright! Just…don’t get mad at me. Please. We are both too tired for that crap.” She pleaded as she changed position on the edge of the bed, turning her body to face him. “I didn’t say anything because I know what you’re like with accepting help. I didn’t want you to feel like you owed me anything or you needed to thank me. I don’t want any of that. I just wanted you to be okay and you are and that’s all that matters.”

“But Jess…I do” He said softly. His tone had changed dramatically and she wanted to hug him for trying to understand instead of flying off the handle and being impulsive “I do owe you-”

“-No! See! No. You Don’t.” She interrupted with one finger extended at him “I couldn’t sit around and wait for you to die when I had what was needed to help you. Don’t make this a big deal. You’ve saved my ass more times than I can count. It was nothing, do you hear me?”

He didn’t know what to say and the seconds turned into long, drawn-out minutes. Jess fiddled with the edge of her T-shirt, rolling up the hem and letting it down again. She held her fingers to her face under her eye and winced at the pain. It was all she could do not to focus on how mortified she was at how he’d forced her to be so honest.

“I get it” She heard him say eventually “If it was you…I’d do the same thing.”

“So, you can’t be mad at me for not telling you.” She threw in, hoping that whatever he was feeling was not going to manifest into an irate barrage of questions and a telling off. When he rested a hand on her knee and sighed deeply, she told herself that maybe just maybe, she should give up assuming things about Daryl and just wait for him to surprise her, although that was easier said than done.

“I ain’t mad ‘atcha. Just don’t want ya to keep shit from me. You don’t want me to owe ya, fine, I won’t. But you gotta know that I’m grateful. More than you know.”

Her thoughts began to bustle in her head. So many ideas and notions, explanations that had no foundations. Jess was an overthinker when it came to such affairs and being exhausted wasn’t helping. She tried to keep herself in check, to follow a more logical train of thought rather than letting her emotions take over. But self-doubt was also playing a part and as she thought back over their last kiss and their conversation in the fairground, she couldn’t help but wonder;

Is this why he’s been so into me? Is this why he started that conversation? Is this why he kissed me the way he did before Carl turned up? Because he was…grateful?!

“I um, I’m not keeping anything else from you.” She lied “Can we just move on from this now?”

She suffered the weight of the things she hadn’t told him and didn’t plan on admitting. Mainly, that she was so in love with him that she could barely think about anything else.

“K” He grumbled. “M’sorry I was a dick in the car yesterday”

Reassured that the subject was over and done with, she resigned herself to the fact that he wasn’t going to be leaving anytime soon and if she was completely truthful, she just wanted to sleep.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t exactly polite either.” She responded.

“Just didn’t want my best friend to get killed.” He added.

It hit her like a freight train. Jess was certain she could feel a piece of her heart crumble away at the words. It was everything she didn’t want to hear, but should have been happy to nonetheless. Unable to help feeling totally crushed by being labelled as his best friend and nothing more, she put on the bravest face she could but felt the resentment swelling deep inside her. She’d held out for so long, hoping that one day, he would tell her that the reason he kissed her was because he liked her or, she would never be able to trust what was happening and now, she felt like her paranoia and overthinking was justified; he was probably only kissing her because it was a way to occupy his time, have a little fun and thank her for saving his life.

“Best friend? Are we in 5th grade?” She complained. Her thinly veiled irritation rolled off of her tongue and she could barely control it.

“Forget it.” He scoffed.

“No, I’m serious. Should we have matching bracelets or something? I could make some, decorate them with little seashells. It’d be cute.” She snipped.

Part of her didn’t care if he picked up on her very deliberate sarcasm. It was on the tip of her tongue, ready to bite.

“I got an idea, why don’t we just sit… and not talk.” He announced.

“Fine by me” She shuffled back on the bed, and crawled up to the pillow. She lay on her side, facing him and fought to keep her eyes open, the events of the last few hours taking their toll as well as the devastating blow of finding out that her hopes for her relationship with Daryl had been well and truly dashed.

She could see him fiddling with the twine but took no notice as she traced the edge of the quilt with her fingertip. He turned his body to face her, bending his leg on the bed and held something out to her. Her vision flickered up to the object in his hand and she stared down at his fingers, which were holding a white bracelet made from the twine he’d braided.

She gradually looked up at him, observing his somewhat apprehensive expression and just like that, half of the sadness and disappointment she felt dropped away into nothing. He still thought the world of her, he still cared about her and he still saw her as the most important person in his life.

She smiled as she pinched the bracelet between her fingers and slid it onto her wrist. He helped her to fasten it and she rolled onto her back, holding her arm above her to admire her new piece of jewelry. It was as though she could literally feel the intensity of his stare every time his eyes fell onto her and that moment was no different. She made eye contact with him and let out a small snort of laughter, pleased when he did the same.

“Best friends” she repeated thoughtfully. “Best friends don’t usually make out like we do.”

Never one to fall at the first hurdle, she’d made a last, ditch attempt to dig for more. Bringing up their secret trysts almost made the ‘best friends’ label seem a little ridiculous to her and she wondered if he saw it the same way.

“No. They don’t.” He agreed.

She blinked at the ceiling in pure confusion.

What the hell does that mean, Daryl?! You just gave me a damn friendship bracelet but yesterday we were sucking face and almost having a discussion about this whole mess. Do I keep asking?! I’ll just annoy him. Because I’m annoying for needing to know. Why can’t he just be straight with me?! I need him to be straight with me. He is so frustrating!

“You…got any idea why we do?” She persisted.

“Do you?”

“It’s rude to answer a question with another question, Stinky.” She snapped. “Not to mention annoying as shit.”

Daryl was intuitive and Jess’s frustration was certainly not lost on him. He’d dug himself enough of a hole to want to crawl back out of it, hating the idea of her being upset because of him. To make things right, he had to give her something, anything that would allow her some clarity. Unwilling to dispel everything that was happening inside his head too soon, he conceded that for the time being, something small would have to suffice, at least until he was ready to face his feelings…or he would mess everything up forever.

He leaned over her, bracing himself on one arm by her side and with his other hand, he moved a lock of dark hair from her forehead. Her eyes seemed to shine in the dim room and she lay entirely still. He lowered his head and brushed the tip of his nose on hers, hearing her breath hitch in her throat. Then, he pressed a tender kiss to her lips and all at once, her head emptied momentarily and all she could think about was his lips on hers and how their kiss grew more and more eager by the second.

Oookaaaaay. I don’t care if he sees me as a friend, or a girlfriend, or a frickin’ lampshade right now. This kiss is…everything.

She lifted her arms, feeling the twine bracelet indent onto her wrist when she rested it over his broad shoulders. The palm of her other hand smoothed over his dirty, toned arm and he dragged himself closer still, moving further over her and seeking entry with his tongue. Jess’s body lit up when she heard him groan and felt his hand grip at her hip, pushing her down into the mattress and lowering more of his body onto her. He gasped against her and she swallowed hard and panted when he pulled away and dragged a thumb across her lower lip, pink and swollen from his unplanned and suggestive kiss. His chest heaved against hers while he caught his breath and he dipped his head again, gently kissing along her jawline until he reached her ear.

“Do it ‘cause I like it.” He whispered to her shakily.

When she managed to turn her head and find his eyes, he was staring raptly at her with a hunger she hadn’t seen before. He breathed heavily with teeth ever so slightly bared until something in him seemed to click, his eyelids flickered and he crawled backwards, away from her and resumed his initial position on the edge of the bed.

He had to move away. There was no doubt in his mind that if he stayed where he was, with her under him and kissing him the way she did, letting him lavish such attention on her, he would have hazarded taking things to the next level. His body was screaming at him to make a move, to forge a connection that deep down, he knew was there but she was too precious and valuable for him to encourage her into a situation that he wasn’t even sure she wanted to be in.

He closed his eyes when he sensed her run her fingers down his upper arm and tried to gain some control over the testosterone surging through his veins. But her touch and the hushed tones of her soft, tuneful voice just sent another tidal wave of lust crashing over him.

“I like it too” She whispered.

His jaw tightened.

Shit. She does somethin’ to me. This is fuckin’ intense. I gotta leave.

“Uh…I’ma head back to the house. Talk to Rick. You should get some rest.” He told her.

“O-okay.” She squeaked, a little disappointed and having changed her mind about him staying.

He sprang up and walked to the door, positioning one hand on the handle and pausing. She saw the air leave his lungs and his shoulders sagged. His cheeks and across his nose were a faint, red hue, as if he’d been flustered.

“I’m not…I’m not leavin’ ‘cause I want to. I-I wanna stay n’…” He stammered with a head full of things he wouldn’t dare say to her for fear of offending her or scaring her away. But he wished he could just stay with her, kiss her and explore her until night crept in and morning arrived. ”…never mind. See ya tomorrow.”

She opened her mouth to call out to him, to stop him from leaving but he was out of the door and barreling towards the gate quicker than she could lift her head from the pillow.

Two hours of sitting on Aaron and Eric’s front porch the next morning did not turn up one sighting of Daryl and Jess was starting to become suspicious. She also hunted on her own, bringing back a rather rotund Opossum which she proudly dumped on the ground in the entrance to the pantry, just in time to find Coffee being poured. Her face felt better, the swelling had reduced and she was left with a dark bruise that would be a distant memory in a few days.

Of course, Aaron had pestered her for the latest developments in her quest to bag Daryl as a boyfriend but she’d brushed him off, telling him white lies about how nothing had happened besides a little meaningless flirting and that she would never have a chance with him anyway. The latter part ringing a little truer than she’d hoped.

The night before had left her with even more unanswered questions and a new source of anxiety; what if things had progressed into a new realm where clothes were shed and it was no longer a few stolen kisses they were having to contend with? Was that what he wanted? Was that what he was thinking while he was looking down at her, his body heavy on hers and his heart like a hummingbird in his chest?

She wished she could tell Aaron, if anything just to vent to someone. He’d earned her trust and his place as her friend. But the situation was too messy and complex for her to go blabbing to someone else. She couldn’t risk it getting out, even by accident and other people finding out. It would be the end to her spark with Daryl, no more kisses, no more friendship. Nothing.

Instead, she relayed their trip to rescue Enid in graphic detail, making Eric cringe into his coffee mug when she explained how Carl blew someone’s brain to pieces with a shotgun at the tender age of thirteen. For the duration of her stay, her attention didn’t leave the front gate, which could be easily monitored from Aaron and Eric’s house. With still no sign of Daryl and breakfast coming to an end, she bid the guys farewell and attempted to cross the street with the intention of checking the bench by the pond for any signs of Carl so she could get an update on someone else’s love life and temporarily ignore the chaos of her own.

“Jess, wait.” Aaron’s voice, a little winded from jogging after her, stopped her at the side of the road. He touched her arm and motioned with his head towards the side of a house they’d just passed. She followed him out of earshot of the gate guards and any passers-by. “I know you’re lying to me.” He told her. She almost asked him exactly what he thought she was lying about when it all clicked in her head. “Something happened with Daryl, didn’t it?”

“What are you, psychic or something?” She huffed.

“You haven’t stopped looking at the gate since you sat down. I take it you’re looking for him? What’s going on, Jess? I promise you, I will not repeat it to anyone. If I do, you have permission to tear down my license plate collection and replace them with whatever you want”

She tapped her thigh with her fingers and sucked both lips into her mouth while she pondered over not only how much to disclose, but also what she would replace Aarons license plate wall with.

“Movie posters? John Hughes movies?” She asked

“Alright, yes.”

“Fine. We kiss. That’s a thing.” She muttered.

“That’s great…isn’t it?” He asked, perturbed by the exasperated look on her face.

“Yeah. I guess. I mean, he’s damn good at it. It’d be a whole lot better if I actually knew if he felt anything for me. But he always manages to skirt around the subject.” She explained with a large sigh.

“Daryl isn’t the kind of guy to go around kissing people, Jess. I’m willing to bet that if he kisses you, it’s because he likes you.” He tried to reason. But her face was still downcast and he sensed her nervous fidgeting was down to there being more to the story.

There was and until then, Jess had never mentioned a single word to another soul about the reasons why she needed a solid, definitive answer from Daryl. Why she couldn’t possibly bring herself to believe that Daryl would like her as anything more than a friend. She’d never been able to express her distrust in any compliments she received, never seen herself as worthy of anything more than a friendship and never knew what it felt like to be wanted and desired by someone.

“Before the turn, I met this guy. He was gorgeous, Aaron. Just…wow. All the signs were there. He told me he cared about me. Took me a while, because I’m not the girl that guys want to date, but I ended up believing that he genuinely liked me. I was horribly wrong. It was my best friend that he was into. I knew from then on that it would just never happen for me and I would never again be naïve enough to think that someone liked me.”

“Daryl Dixon is different, Jess.” Aaron assured her.

“Yeah.” She agreed “He is. He is so much more than I could ever dare to hope for. I don’t want to get hurt and lose my friend because I was fool enough to think that he would ever want me like that. I am not that girl, Aaron. I’m not good enough for him.”

Aaron was regarding her with a disbelief that she’d never seen in him before. He was looking at her as if she’d completely lost her mind. She even thought that she detected a slight hint of anger in his eyes but knew deep down that if he did feel anything of the sort, it would be because he cared and didn’t like seeing her so down.

“Listen. Between you and I, Eric thought the same for a long time. He couldn’t believe that I wanted to be with someone like him. He felt like he didn’t have much to offer. But all he had to do was let me show him that he did have things to offer. I just didn’t understand at first, I didn’t think I was anything special, least of all not the way he made me out to be” He paused to brush hair from her face, blown across her eyes by the breeze. “But I didn’t see myself the way he did. Daryl, he doesn’t see you the way you do. Nobody does. It’s all perception, individual to each person. Daryl barely even speaks to people, let alone kisses them. So, for him to do that with you…it must mean something to him. I don’t think you should write it off without giving him a chance to figure out what he’s doing. Just enjoy it, there’s no harm in that. It’s obvious he cares about you and he would never hurt you deliberately. You earned a little fun, girl. Have at it.”

“I hope you’re right.” She said.

“There’s a reason I’m a recruiter. I’m a good judge of character. I know that kissing you is not a decision that Daryl would have taken lightly. Give him a little more time. But it doesn’t mean you should stop having fun. You get what I’m saying?”

“Yes” She whispered, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He placed his hands on her back and welcomed the embrace.

“And don’t sell yourself so short. You’re awesome.” He concluded while rubbing one of her shoulder blades.

Feeling like a fraction of the weight had been lifted from her shoulders from sharing her burden with Aaron, Jess swore him to secrecy, thanked him and made her way to the pond. She found it empty and dropped herself onto the seat, sticking her legs out straight in front of her and crossing them at her ankles.

“Penny for ‘em.” Said a deep, southern voice from behind her. She sat up slightly and twisted in her spot to find Abraham trundling through the flower bed. Turning back and running a hand through her hair she let out a long breath.

“You do not want to know,” She replied.

“Wouldn’t be askin’ if that were true.” He corrected as he sat down at her side. With Abraham not being a small man, the bench creaked as he settled.

“It’s nothing. Just me overthinking.” She said.

Abraham craned his neck and caught sight of the bluish bruise on her face.

“Woah, what’s with the Taint n’ tarnish, Sweetheart?” He asked with a deep concern on his face. His large fingers pinched at her chin and angled her face so he could get a better look. She tapped his wrist and he let go.

“Enid got kidnapped. Daryl and I fought like a cat and dog on the way to get her because he’s a stubborn son of a bitch that won’t ever accept that I’m right. Anyway, we went to college to get the girl back. Carl hid in the trunk and almost cooked himself to death so we had to take him with us. Some asshole landed a nice, dry slap across my face so I shot the bastard in the eye with an arrow. Daryl blew everybody else up with an RPG and Carl shot a guy in the head with a shotgun and decorated the sidewalk with teeny, tiny little pieces of brain matter. Enid, well she did as she was told and made it back in one piece and then we all camped in the woods and came home.” She surmised in as short a version as possible.

“I know the world went to shit n’ all but…what in blue blazes?!” he questioned in disbelief. She yawned and rubbed at her eyes, still enduring the exhaustion from the days before. “Honey, look at you. You’re a damn mess.”

“Thank you for the compliment.” She growled while side-eyeing him.

“Ahh cmon, who I gotta kill to get a smile outta you?” He tried in an attempt to lift her spirits.

“Nobody. Really” she smiled.

“If you insist. Looks like I’ll have to save my ridicule for another time.” He leaned back and crossed his huge arms. Jess felt positively dwarfed by his size at times but she never once found him to be intimidating or overbearing. She’d only known him since Rick’s group arrived at Alexandria but within days, and despite her efforts to distance herself from just about everyone, his jokes and big personality had won her over almost immediately. Being around Abraham took her back to before the turn, to her childhood and growing up with a brother in the military and being surrounded by his friends.

“You remind me of my brothers’ friends, y’know” She told him.

“They handsome sons of guns too?” he grinned.

“I meant in the way that you make fun of me with your general annoying bastardness.”

“Ahh ain’t nothin wrong with a little teasin’, a little flirtin’. Keep the blood pumpin’. You know I’m only playin’ around with ya though, right?” He checked, leaning forwards enough to see her reaction.

“Yeah. I know. That was the thing with them, they’d tease me like there was no tomorrow but they were super protective too. I was lucky in that respect.” She expressed.

“Can bet ya ass a lot of folks in here would be just as protective of ya. Aint no point being alone no more. Can’t do nothin’ without people in this world. Still, you got Daryl so, you’re set, right?” He smirked, waiting for her to flare up and tell him it was none of his business and to stop bringing it up.

“We’re friends.” Was all she said.

“And I’m Mary Poppins.” He laughed.

She didn’t bother to put him right, mainly because she wasn’t even sure it would be right anymore. How could she correct people if she didn’t know what they were herself? She hated all the uncertainty, the lack of consistency and the fact that she had been so patient until now. Until it was starting to grate on her. She knew Aaron was right and giving Daryl time to figure things out was the right thing to do. Having fun with it certainly seemed like an appealing idea too, but she wasn’t sure she could continue with such an indulgence if it meant her getting hurt at the end of it.

Abraham didn’t move an inch when Jess rested her head against his arm. He knew that for her to do such a thing, she must have needed it and so, he left her where she was and ceased conversation. Bees and birds flitted around the pond, a welcome reminder that nature was still rolling on as best it could, no matter what else was happening to the world. The only sounds came from people wandering past on the street and the repetitive sounds of shovelling from the vegetable patch.

“Why can’t everyone just be honest with each other, Abe?” Jess uttered out of the blue.

“Why are dingleberries brown? Just the way shit is, sweetheart.” He answered.

That afternoon, Deanna called for Jess, Daryl, Enid, Carl and Rick to discuss Enid’s kidnapping and the possibility of another attack. It was the first time Jess had laid eyes on Daryl since their kiss the previous night. Try as she might, she couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d been actively avoiding her. So, when he bumped into her, alone in the hallway and tickled the outside of her hand as he passed, she was so astonished it took her at least a minute to enter back into reality and deal with the task at hand.

Upon entering the main room of the house, she found everyone else present and Daryl skulked off into the corner, perching on a wide window ledge. He met her eye when she appeared but quickly looked away, wanting to maintain the air of secrecy around what was happening between them. But Jess had questions. What he’d done in the hallway was different. A new kind of affection that was a world apart from a sexually charged kiss. It was the kind of passing attention that was shown between two people in a relationship and even though she couldn’t deny that she didn’t hate it one, little bit. It had confused her even more. Best friends did not affectionately tickle hands in hallways and they certainly did not lay on beds kissing. It always felt like some days she was getting somewhere, moving along slowly but surely, lured into thinking that he wouldn’t kiss her if he didn’t see her in that way. And then, he would do something contradictory, like dubbing her his ‘best friend’ and drop kicking her firmly into the friend zone. Why did she have to fall for someone so complicated? Why could he not just tell her what he wanted for sure?

Asked for her take on what happened, Jess clearly ran through the process of Enid's rescue, telling the room that the man she’d spoken to informed her that there were around a hundred of them, probably slightly less due to the amount that were killed that day and about the branding on their hands. Daryl got up and without a word, picked up a pen and drew the branded symbol on a piece of paper at Deanna's desk before going back to his perch at the window. A concerned silence filled the room as the towns leader and Rick swapped a glance and after what felt like an age, Denna finally announced that she wanted training to be stepped up even more. Rick suggested visiting the college to see if any more of the men had been sent as replacements, or if anyone was still alive. If they could capture one and drain them of information, they would be in a better position to plan. The idea was met with some doubt by Deanna who wasn’t keen on the idea of having to keep one of them behind the wall and mentioned that they could be opening themselves up for another attack.

“A hundred men, all armed is quite the threat.” She stated.

“The guy said they weren’t all in that College. I can’t vouch for his credibility. We saw around fifteen when we were there. All of them were dead when we left. I have no idea where the rest are.” Jess explained.

“We still have women missing. Daryl, did you see any other prisoners?” Rick asked with his hands on his hips and stirring Daryl from his stillness across the room.

“Naw, just Enid.” He grunted in response.

“They don’t keep them there.” Enid mumbled from the couch next to Carl.

“What was that, honey?” Deanna encouraged, missing the girl's muffled comment.

“They don’t keep the rest of the women they take at that place. It’s a halfway point.” She told her.

Now, Daryl moved and stood up, thudding into the middle of the room by Rick. Jess avoided his gaze from where she sat, on the arm of the couch next to Carl.

“You know where the rest are?” Daryl questioned.

“No. I’m sorry. I just heard them saying they were keeping me there until they found enough gas to make the journey and move me in with the others.” Enid said.

Carl fiddled with his hands in his lap, uneasy about hearing Enid talk about being in the clutches of the dangerous group that had taken her.

“Look, these guys, there might be a lot of them but from what I saw, they’re dumber than a box of hair.” Jess announced with confidence. She’d not seen an ounce of training or logic in their behavior which matched the way they bombarded Alexandria with mass murder and terror. They used sheer numbers and the element of surprise. It wasn’t perfectly planned or stealthy by any stretch of the imagination.

Carl couldn't help but laugh at Jess’s take on it and he clocked Enid smiling at him.

“She’s right. I ain't never seen nothin’ so disorganized.” Daryl added “All runnin’ around like they didn’t know which way was up. Willin’ to bet they think women just sprout from the earth and they’re plannin’ on comin’ back for the harvest.”

Tapping the papers on her desk with a pen, Deanna sighed and pursed her lips as she scanned the faces of the people in the room. The threat was more real than ever. Many of the townspeople had perished in the attack and since then, they’d kidnapped a teenager and tried to kill those who set off to rescue her. Such an embarrassment was unlikely to be forgotten and the prospect of Alexandria having more of what they really wanted was too great for them to ignore. She had to act.

Deanna zoned in on Jess “You need to move inside the walls”

Jess’s back prickled and her shoulders went back. Her defenses shot up. She’d worked hard for her home, to create a place where she felt safe and was allowed to be herself and she wasn’t about to give it up for anything.

“No. No. Absolutely not. Non-negotiable.” She confirmed.

“Jess-” Rick tried

“I said no.” She snapped. “I’ll help in any way I can. If you need volunteers to go back to that place and scope it out, I’ll do it. But I’m not moving. Let me know once you make a decision.” She headed to the door, expecting someone to stop her but no one moved or uttered a word. When she vacated the room, Rick threw Daryl a knowing look.

Make her move inside the walls, Daryl.

She left Deanna’s house so fast that no one, let alone Daryl had the chance to stop her. She raced down the steps and across the lawn to the gate, tripping on a piece of wood in the process. She stumbled forwards, her hands shooting out and her heart lurching in her chest. Managing to keep herself upright and overcome with fury. She spun around, picked up the piece of wood and launched it into the street, the impact shattered it into tiny pieces. If it wasn’t for her lips being tightly pressed together, there would have been no doubt about her turning the air blue with cuss words. Footsteps from behind her accompanied cigar smoke and she let out a sigh.

“Wow, someone’s wound up tighter than a bull’s asshole in fly season, huh?” Abraham observed with his eyebrows raised. He moved around her, checking her expression and placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, just tired.” She uttered.

“You need to let loose a little, maybe get yourself laid, it’s amazing how a clear out of the pipes can stop you being such a crankosaurs.” He suggested with a playful nudge of her arm.

“Abe.” She warned, rolling her eyes.

“Just a suggestion. I’m not volunteering” He chuckled “but if you beg me, I’ll be forced to have mercy.”

Daryl clicked the door to Deanna’s house shut as Jess threw the wood into the road during her tantrum and sent splinters flying everywhere. From the front porch, he leaned against a pillar and lit a smoke, listening to the conversation happening below.

“In your dreams” Jess shot at Abraham with a point of her finger. She left him laughing to himself and headed for the gate. Daryl descended the steps a little quicker than he’d intended but he had to move fast if he wanted to catch Jess before she left. She was striding with purpose at the gate, about to vanish from sight. His speed was decent enough to catch up but his demeanor was calm on the outside. Abraham wasn’t being fooled; he could tell that he was in a rush to catch her.

When he finally reached her, he thoughtlessly jabbed at her shoulder, waited for her to turn to him and dragged her by her wrist into the shadow of the wall beside the gate. He slammed a hand on the wall beside her to stop her from running away before he’d said his piece.

“You ain't goin’ back there. Deanna’s right, you gotta move inside the walls” He instructed.

Hey eyes grew wide with a stunned stare and rage suddenly flooded her mind and clouded her judgement and she struggled to keep it under wraps.

“No” She answered clearly while looking him right in the eye.

“Can’t just stay out there all by yourself. Told ya before, I need you to live.” He reminded her.

“Why?”

“What do ya mean, ‘why’? Kinda question is that?” He dropped his arm and backed up, aware that she seemed to have switched and her irritation towards him was founded in something a lot bigger than just him giving her orders.

“Look, I know you feel like you owe me for giving you my blood and we act like two middle schoolers kissing in secret, but it doesn’t give you the right to tell me what to do. Only my family could do that and seeing as we’re not related, you don’t have a say.”

He tried to reach out and touch her hand but she ripped it away from him, her eyes narrowing and her back hitting the house behind her.

“You can’t keep doing this to me.” She uttered.

“Doin’ what?” He questioned.

Kissing me and telling me what to do like an overprotective husband and then friend zoning me

“Forget it. I have to go.” She grumbled.

She stormed off, flustered and shaking with a toxic mix of nerves and anger. Daryl tilted his head back and breathed out a long sigh before kicking the wooden panel on the wall.

“…Fuck…”

The surface dented and his toes ached with pain but it was welcomed as something else to think about. Something other than how tetchy Jess had become and how he only really had himself to blame. He turned on his heels and marched off.

Outside the walls, Jess kept walking along the main road, missing the shrouded path to her home in the woods and equipped her hood and mask. She tugged her machete from her belt and swung it by her side as she strutted towards the end of the street. When she reached a row of abandoned cars, all parked at different angles like a bad attempt at Tetris, she turned her machete around, gripped it by the blade and began hammering the handle on the metal body work of each Vehicle, walking slowly as she went. The louder the better. Killing Walkers was the norm for Jess, but she still could never quite shake that niggling fear that pestered her every time she was faced with one. But as long as she kept them at the end of her machete or bow, she managed just fine.

Before long, she was pleased to find two of them staggering along the side of a house and snarling as they went. They were both female and one was somehow hobbling along with only half a foot left. Both of them were considerably decomposed and their summertime barbeque outfits were barely noticeable anymore. Jess flipped her machete back and ran at them, ignoring her usual spike of fear, skidding to a stop in front of them and kicking the woman in front in the stomach. The impact sent them both careering backwards and onto their backs, one on top of the other. Her blade was nowhere near as clean as it used to be. In fact, she hadn’t cleaned it since she’d used it to slit a man’s throat at the college and so, it failed to glint in the sun when she drove it down onto the Walkers, hacking at them like they were firewood. With each blow, a cry of frustration left her body and with that, went a tiny fraction of the confusion and turmoil in her head. She needed to blow off steam and chopping Walkers into bite sized chunks was the only effective way she could think of at the time.

Rosita, who was sitting on the steps to her house, clicked her fingers at Abraham and pointed to the empty space on the step beside her. She was used to Abe’s flirtatious and outgoing personality, never really seeing it as a negative and happy in the knowledge that if he was any other way, she wouldn’t have been all that interested. He kept her days interesting and her nights fulfilled.

“You are a terrible flirt, you know that? Good job I’m so self-assured, huh?” She glowered at him playfully as he lowered himself down beside her with a grunt.

“Flirt? That was just for giggles, Mamasita. All my flirting is saved for you.” He grinned. He reached behind them, grabbing a half empty bottle of whiskey that he’d been working his way through. Rosita had told him countless times that he was only going to dehydrate himself and that necking whiskey on the daily was only going to cause him problems. But his selective hearing meant that he simply ignored her advice and only listened to what he wanted to hear.

“Hmm. It better be.” She winked at him.

They had both looked over at the gate in time to see Jess storm away from Daryl and leave the compound. He was visibly annoyed and the curse word that left his lips was obvious even at such a distance.

“Things are still at a stalemate there then.” Abe mentioned.

“What?” Rosita asked.

“Daryl. He’s keen on Jess.” He told her.

“What the hell are you talking about now? I don’t see that. They’re just friends.” She expressed.

“Oh yeah? Watch this and tell me he doesn’t like her.” He challenged with a smug grin. He used the black, iron railings to hoist himself up from the step and was soon pacing over to where Daryl was wandering along the sidewalk. Rosita shook her head at his childish need to be right in every given situation.

“She seems a little cranky” Abe pointed out to a stony-faced Daryl.

Feeling like Abraham was deliberately picking the wrong moment to state the obvious, Daryl stopped and bit his lip, taking a couple of seconds to keep his impulses in check. Everything in him wanted to release his temper and start yelling at Abraham, asking him what the hell it had to do with him and why he couldn’t just back off and leave Jess alone. Being in the middle of a quiet street, Rosita’s listening ear had not gone unnoticed and with little interest in getting into a confrontation with anyone else, Daryl opted to try and stay as calm as possible

“She’s tired. Getting’ Enid back, took it outta both of us.” He admitted.

It wasn’t wholly an untruth, he could tell Jess was still feeling the after effects, as was he. But the real reason for the tension between them was coming from something else, something that he wasn’t quite sure how to handle.

“Seems to me she’s lacking more than sleep.” Abraham suggested boldly. “Needs to get laid. Maybe I should help her out.”

Daryl heard Rosita scoff from where she was sitting in front of the door to her home and he couldn’t even begin to think what Abraham thought he was playing at. Rosita was not the sort of fiery, Latino woman he would want to go up against. He checked the rest of the street, Rick was heading home and Carl and Enid were strolling in the direction of the pond, immersed in conversation. He instantly thought of how happy Jess would be to see them spending more time together, if she hadn’t been too irate to stay. Abraham was taller than Daryl but he wasn’t about to let that intimidate him, the subject matter was extremely important to him and it was for that reason that cracks began to show in his calm façade. His teeth pushed together and his jaw went rigid.

“Look, there ain’t no bad blood between you n’ me. But you stay away from her. Ya hear me?” he advised.

“Why? If you ain’t going to do it, it ain’t fair to keep her away from those that will.” Abraham continued with a sense of mischief to his voice. “Hell, Daryl, better it be me than that yellow-bellied son of Deanna’s. He’s been checking her out at every given opportunity.”

“Why you so set on this, huh? You got a girl, man” It was a complete mystery to Daryl, who thought it a little counterproductive to attempt to see two women at once. His brother proved it frequently by saying he was with one girl while in the midst of trying to woo another. The resulting drama always ended the same way, in a fight or with his truck getting keyed. It always ended in disaster and Daryl could never understand why no one could ever be content with what they already had.

Abraham took a peek over his shoulder to see Rosita gesturing wildly to him to put Daryl out of his misery and stop winding him up. His booming laugh filled the street and he landed a hand on Daryl’s shoulder, gently shaking it.

“I’m yankin’ your chain.” He confessed. Daryl just shrugged him off. He could have done without it and would much rather have been left alone to figure out the mess that was his relationship with Jess “Sure are touchy about this subject though.”

“It ain't what it looks like.” Daryl declared.

“I don’t give two short n’ curlies what it looks like, man. She’s into you. You’re into her. What are you waitin’ for? A goddamn bus? Get it done, buddy.”

With that, he delivered a wink to Daryl and sauntered over to where Rosita was sitting. She punched his arm and unleashed a torrent of Spanish swear words while he laughed heartily and fished around in his pants pocket for a cigar.

The next day a decision was made; Deanna ordered all training sessions to be bumped up to twice a week and everyone that was able to hold a knife was to be taught how to use it effectively. Lookouts were to be set up along the main road to the gate with a checkpoint made at the end of the street. Manning them would be taxing but Rick stepped in with another roster to keep things ticking over smoothly. Jess, Aaron and Daryl were asked to sweep a local hardware warehouse for materials to make the checkpoint and lookouts. They were to take two trucks and return with as much as they could fit into them. Deanna’s pleas to Jess to move inside the walls fell on deaf ears once more and instead she set about doing everything she could to help prepare for any future attacks.

She didn’t see Daryl hunting that morning, the second morning in a row. She couldn’t say she was surprised given that their last exchange had been less than friendly and she’d spent that afternoon carving up Walkers and leaving them in bloody piles around the neighborhood. She could feel his eyes on her as Deanna announced her plans but she didn’t once look at him, having spent the entire night mulling over the last few days, weeks even and coming to some kind of conclusion as to how to proceed.

Aarons words stayed with her and she had to give some credit to his ideas, especially the notion to just go with it and have some fun for the time being. Kissing Daryl was the most fun she’d had in her whole life and she’d been starkly aware of its absence during their three-week hiatus after dislocating her shoulder. He’d told her he’d missed her and he didn’t mean in the sense that he hadn’t seen her, he meant that he missed kissing her and she felt exactly the same. After all, how could she not miss kissing the most attractive man she'd ever set eyes on? The man she loved.

Letting off steam and spending some time thinking about things with Aarons view on it had certainly helped clear her mind of the useless, overthought clutter that had accumulated. She felt much more able to make an informed decision about how she would handle things from then on and when she found herself standing in Aaron and Eric’s living room, drawing X’s on a map under Daryl’s watchful eye, she told herself that she was going to lock the previous day away in the past.

Requiring refreshments in order to think straight, Aaron declared he was going to make some coffee and promptly left the room. From where she was, leaning on the back of the couch, Jess monitored Daryl’s movements and her eyes followed him as he slowly ambled to the window. He’d not said a word to her but he had spent a considerable amount of time looking at her. She followed him to where he stood, silently peering through the gap in the blinds.

“I’m sorry. About yesterday.” She said with sincerity.

An uncomfortable quiet was what followed and Jess felt panic begin to rise when he didn’t respond straight away.

“I pissed ya off.” He finally admitted “I’m the one that should be sorry. Just want you to be safe.”

His lack of conversing with her had little to do with him not wanting to speak to her. He wasn’t angry at her, nor was he sulking in any way. He simply didn’t have anything to say and until he knew that she was ready to mend things, he was going to keep his mouth shut.

“I know.” She assured him.

“You still mad at me?” He asked sheepishly.

“No. I’m not mad at you”

He held her gaze as he peered at her sideways, unable to drag his eyes away from a face he’d grown so fond of. He hated making her angry, hated that she was upset with him and hated that he couldn’t yet give her what he knew she needed. She lifted a hand and pinched the lapel of his leather vest, pulling it to the side and urging him to step around and face her. He quickly got the message and found that her hand hovered away from his vest and rested on his chest, over his heart.

I hate that I’m so in love with you

She took a small step closer, testing him to see if he’d reject her. When he didn’t, she decided to take Aaron’s advice and enjoy herself while it lasted. Her hand moved up once again, this time to the side of his face and his eyelids flickered at her touch. He nestled against her hand and she heard a subtle sight emanate from him.

“Aaron could see us” He warned her.

“You didn’t care that Carl saw you holding my hand the other day.” she reminded him.

He nibbled his lower lip, considering that she had a point. He hadn’t cared that Carl had seen him holding her hand, but there was the very real possibility of either one of them being seriously injured or killed. Such a thing was at the bottom of his list of priorities at the time. She was still peering up at him and seconds were ticking away. He heard Aaron opening cupboards and drawers in the kitchen. Still busy. He dipped his head, tugging her close to him by her wrist and holding it where her new bracelet rested. He rested his forehead on hers, ghosting her lips and leaving her with a featherlight kiss. Then, he had no choice but to pull back as Aaron reappeared with a tray of coffee’s in his hands.

Jess took a deep breath and ran her hands down her clothes. She was flustered and pleased that his interest in being close to her didn’t seem to have waned. At least she now knew that pushing him away was only going to result in him bouncing right back to her. But try as she might, she couldn’t help but think it was because he felt like he owed her, or because she was simply used to it now. After all, why would someone like Daryl, so tough, so courageous, so completely different, want to be anything other than friends with a self-conscious nerd?

Their destination was an hour and thirty minutes’ drive away and Jess opted to jump into Aarons truck on the journey out. Daryl didn’t seem to mind although he was not likely to express his disappointment in front of Aaron. Pleased to find a CD player in the cab and a pile of dusty CD’s, Jess and Aaron spent the majority of the drive singing like banshees and dancing in their seats.

It had been a long time since she’d felt so free. With no laws to abide by, no boundaries to keep to, and every building, home and store deserted, freedom was everywhere. Yet Jess didn’t see freedom in the physical sense. It was more than that to her, more of a state of mind than being able to go anywhere at any time. Singing at the top of her voice with her good friend without a care in the world meant she could escape for a while, and simply enjoy the existence of Aaron and his terrible singing voice.

“I feel like I’m at the zoo!” She cried through the rush of wind past the open windows and the loud tones of Twist and Shout by The Beatles.

“What? Why the zoo?” Aaron wanted to know in between warbling along to the song.

“Because the noises that are coming out of your mouth are unlike anything I’ve ever heard before!” She laughed.

“Hey! My voice is amazing!” He argued

“Yeah, amazingly bad!” She chuckled.

When the song's most memorable lines kicked in once more, they both wailed and made dramatic hand gestures as if no one else was watching. Except there was someone watching. In the next lane, with one hand on the steering wheel and a bemused expression, Daryl was witnessing Jess as he’d never seen her before, hair blowing in the wind, eyes closed and arms hanging out of the window as the truck shot along the road. She was singing without a care in the world and after the initial shock he experienced at the sight, he soon realized how endearing it was to see her so carefree. He smiled to himself as he shook his head at the both of them and their mini concert and if the world wasn’t full of decaying, walking corpses and humans hellbent on destroying one another, he would have thought it was the perfect start to the day.

The warehouse, upon first inspection, was deserted and its shutters were wide open. After two walks of the perimeter, Daryl gave them the signal to head inside and joined them at the closest entrance. Jess half expected to find the building picked clean, but it was quickly apparent that any visitors since the turn had little need for sheet metal and building supplies, not like the demand for food, weapons and medicine. Walkers milled about inside; their numbers low enough for the three of them to take them out without a high level of danger. But it had been a while Since Jess had been faced with so many Walkers in one week, even if she had sought the two from the previous day out herself. Opting to use the experience as part of her knife training, she kept her machete tied to her belt and used the smaller blade gifted to her by Daryl almost two years ago instead. As each dead person neared her, she told herself to keep calm and remember her training, promising herself that she would not use the bigger blade or her bow.

A couple of near misses were enough to send her spiraling into self-doubt and letting her fear determine her actions. While she was busy backing away from a gnarly, male Walker with a hole so wide in its shoulder that she could see through to the other side, a bolt whizzed past her ear and dropped the threat to the ground and immediately afterwards, she felt Daryl slap a hand around her wrist and turn her body to face him. In the dusty, barely lit warehouse with its high aisles and cold, musty air, Jess sucked in a deep breath and shook her head.

“Y’alright?” Daryl checked, receiving a short nod from her.

Suffocating her with concern was not a wise idea and Daryl knew it. So, he left her to put the last Walker down but kept a close eye on her from the end of the aisle. At the same time, Aaron was beginning to drag wood and metal from shelving units with all his might, piling them up onto a forklift which to his glee, still worked albeit after some spluttering and stalling. Daryl was soon helping him hurl heavy materials around while Jess was needed at the door due to the noise attracting Walkers from the surrounding area. Climbing on top of a truck in the parking lot, she picked them off, one by one with her bow, deducting five points in her head for every shot she missed.

“Jess? How we doing out there?” Aaron called out from the darkness inside.

“We’re looking at a soccer team right about now.” She shouted back.

“Huh? What does that mean?” He enquired.

“Eleven. We’re on eleven Walkers, bright spark.” She quipped as she drew the strings and arrow back on her bow once more. ”Make that ten.”

Daryl jogged out from under the shutter, crossbow held high and eyes fixed on the approaching Walkers. Jess dropped another corpse and was quickly preoccupied by the bodies hitting the asphalt from nowhere until she realized that he was scooting across the parking lot below and making for his truck by the gate, killing everything that moved in the process.

“Stop stealing my thunder!” She complained loudly. Her aim needed some work and it was the perfect opportunity. So far, she’d only had to deduct ten points and that was progress considering the amount of Walkers she’d been faced with.

“Wouldn’t have to if ya wasn’t shootin’ slower than an asthmatic snail.” He jested, turning and taking a couple of steps backwards so he could survey her reaction.

“Oh yeah? How about we see how fast I can fucking shoot you!” She exclaimed, nocking another arrow and aiming at him. She heard him chuckle and he resumed his hurrying to the truck. The sun cast it’s glow over him, his sweat slicked arms from the manual labor seeming even more toned than usual and Jess cocked her head to one side and blinked slowly, pondering how she could quite happily wile away the hours with such a view. But reality crept up on her daydream when the engine of Daryl’s truck roared to life and he backed the vehicle up to the shutter.

Having shot Daryl a smug look of defiance after killing the rest of the Walkers in the parking lot, Jess helped to load everything up, catching Daryl’s eye every now and then and questioning in her mind why it was that this day, out of all the time she’d known him, she was more aware of his attention on her than ever before. The way he was looking at her was different, like he wanted to smile every single time and it set her mind on edge and made her stomach hum with a delightful anticipation of what might happen when they were alone again. Maybe it was her new found way of accepting the situation, thanks for Aaron and his intuition. Maybe it was the tentative way in which he’d asked if she was mad at him. Or, maybe she’d just missed him in those small hours overnight.

After the second truck was filled up, the trio decided to head back to Alexandria as the air was cooling and evening was setting in. The sky turned a water colored texture of oranges and pinks and with her back leaned against the inside of the truck’s door, Jess pretended to fasten loose thread on her gloves when she was really stealing a lot of lingering glances at her return journey accomplice.

Daryl had glimpsed at her a couple of times, seeing her eyes lower suspiciously into her lap or onto the gloves which she held against her bent knees. When a sign for a newly build neighborhood shot past at the side of the highway, he eased off the gas and contemplated if it was worth stopping. Sensing the slow in pace, Jess sat up.

“You see that sign?” He asked.

“Yup. You wanna check it out?”

“Worth a look. Need all the supplies we can get.”

“Okay. I’ll tell Aaron.” She announced, grabbing the radio from the dash and holding down the button on the side.

“This is BloodyMary to MonkeyNuts, come in.”

Daryl’s head slowly turned to her and he shot an incredulous look at the names she’d apparently dubbed herself and Aaron. Ignoring his perplexed face, she turned up the volume on the radio and waited. It crackled and hissed and Aaron’s voice filled the cab.

“We talked about this. I did not agree to that name and ‘BloodyMary’ is not becoming for you.”

“I’m not changing it now. You know it was either that or ‘LargeMarge’ and according to you, that’s even more unbecoming.” She sent back “Don’t be a killjoy, MonkeyNuts.”

“What do you want, Jess?” came Aaron’s chuckled response.

“We just saw a sign for a new build neighborhood. We’re turning around to check it out.”

“Yeah, I saw that. I’ll follow on.”

She threw the radio back onto the dash and clunked her boots up, crossing one over the other a slouching down in the passenger seat. Daryl was still glancing over at her intermittently.

“LargeMarge?” He eventually questioned.

“What? My dazzling personality is large enough to warrant such a name. But ‘BloodyMary’ just seemed a little more…apocalyptic.” She figured with a shrug.

Yeah, you’re real weird. He thought.

She’d now seen Daryl smile and laugh more than she’d ever thought possible and even more so in the last few weeks. It was a sight that she never got tired of, especially when she was the reason for it. She knew he thought her to be weird, but even with that in mind, he still wanted to be around her anyway and the thought warmed her heart and set her reservations about his real feelings aside. There was no doubt in her mind that he enjoyed her company, trusted her and cared about her wellbeing and to have that was a hundred times more than she could have expected when she’d first met him at the quarry. Hoping for any more than that could well have been pushing her luck, but she loved him, so completely and unconditionally that she couldn’t help but hope and dream for something more.

The estate of houses they found were still standing and looked reasonably untouched. Drapes were ripped and windows were smashed but it was nothing out of the ordinary for a post-apocalyptic scene. Some cars were still parked on drives, with suitcases and bags strapped to the roofs, blood splatters on the doorsteps and front yards with violent smears now brown and dried with age. Jess and Daryl hopped out of their truck with Aaron signaling that he would check the cars and keep an eye out for any danger. Choosing the biggest house in the street, Jess equipped her bow and kicked the door in, creating enough of a racket to be heard in the next state.

“Easy, girl.” Daryl hushed “Damn RPG would have been quieter than you.”

“Get off my ass before I put you on yours.” She threatened as she entered the house, swinging her bow this way and that, into every room and checking the coast was clear. A single Walker in the kitchen was swiftly eliminated by Daryl as Jess crept around in the study, opening cupboards and pocketing a packet of painkillers and a bottle of whiskey. She had no plans to drink it, but Abraham sure as hell would. Under the desk, her boot hit something heavy and metal and she stooped down, squinting at the huge, locked safe before her.

“Whatcha got?” Daryl asked while wandering in, scanning the shelves and noticing her bow sticking up from under the desk where she’d positioned it over her shoulder and bent down to inspect the dial on the front of the door.

“Safe. Big one.” She muttered. “Probably not even worth looking inside. Can’t exactly buy our way to survival these days.”

“A safe ain't just for money. Especially in a neighborhood like this. Move aside, lemme take a look.”

Complying but with a little confusion around how much Daryl seemed to know about safes and what was kept in them, Jess planted herself in a leather, wheeled chair and pushed herself away with her feet until the backrest hit the bookshelves behind her.

"Hmm. Old safe for a new house" He mused.

From where she was, she could see him grab a pen and a piece of paper from the desk, returning to the safe and sitting, cross legged in front of it. He brought his ear to the dial and listened intently as he slowly turned it, making notes on the paper as he went. Jess watched with great interest, mystified by his actions and a little impressed all at once and when he held up the paper and started spinning the dial a little more rapidly, she heard a loud click and he tugged the door open, moving back to give himself enough room to delve inside. Jess’s jaw almost hit the floor.

“Are you-are you kidding me?!” She cried “Were you a bank robber or something?”

“No.” he grunted without even a glance over his shoulder. He pulled a pistol and ammo from the safe, along with multiple tubs of medications. He handed them to Jess, who was still staring at him in shock as she shoved the items into her backpack.

“Would you care to explain how you knew how to get into that thing, then?” She pressed.

He got to his feet, picked up his crossbow and slung it over his shoulder.

“Not really” He grumbled.

In the blink of an eye, he was gone and instead of pursuing him, she continued searching the house, eventually finding him outside on the porch, arranging packets and tinned food in a box. It was quite the find and one that meant their detour on the way home was not in vain. They’d found a gun, ammo, medication and food all from one house. So pleased was he with their find, that Daryl ripped open a packet of beef jerky and took a huge bite, chewing messily and grunting in approval. Jess inched closer, feeling mischievous and waiting for her moment. As he raised the packet once more, she snatched it from his grasp and dragged the tough, leathery substance over her tongue.

“I licked it so it’s mine.” She declared with a certain degree of provocation.

He dropped his now empty hand and cleared his throat. Dipping his head, he stepped closer to her and bit down on his tongue. There were so many things he wanted to say, most of them suggestive and daring, even though he’d tested the water by flirting with her before. He didn’t know if any of the possibilities were a little too forward and the last thing he wanted was to come across like Merle, but he was sure that Jess was unlikely to switch from her playful mood to full-on offended and figured that even if she did, she would forgive him eventually. Deciding to risk it, he waited for her to catch his eye.

“You uh…you really should stop teasin’ the fuck outta me with that…unless you wanna do somethin’ ‘bout it.” He told her. It was delivered with a world of confidence and sureness that he didn’t know he possessed and when she failed to appear disgusted or flee before him at the very idea of something so risqué, his heart rate quickened and a small smile tugged at his lips.

Jess, determined to follow Aaron’s advice and just have herself some fun, pursed her lips and for a moment, struggled to think up a response that didn’t make her look completely inexperienced and shy. She wanted to widen the smile on his face, she wanted to make him laugh and above all, she wanted to show him that if she felt like it and had the nerve, she could give as good as she got.

“Don’t you dare threaten me with a good time, Daryl.” She purred at him.

He had to look away, it was all he could do to stop the rush of heat that radiated from beneath the skin across his nose and cheeks. Flabbergasted and rendered temporarily mute by her unexpected response, he rubbed at his chin and couldn’t hold back the throaty laugh that expelled from his lungs.

“Well…shit.” He chuckled at her, eventually able to bring his gaze back to her. She shrugged off her backpack and stuck her hand inside, retrieving one of the pots of medication and reading the label.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Dixon” she instructed, now taking control of a conversation he thought he held the reins of. He’d never seen it before, her willingness to take their mild flirting to the next level.

“Why would I do that when you’re throwin’ backchat like that at me?” He commented.

She delighted at the redness of his cheeks which he was no longer bothering to hide and it occurred to her that she didn’t feel one shred of shyness when she would have otherwise curled up into herself and wished the ground would open up to devour her.

“Stop distracting me. We have a job to do.” She smiled.

“You’re the ones distractin’ me” He pointed out.

“Am not”

“Are too” He uttered under his breath, sitting down on the wooden bench next to the box of supplies. “Talkin’ to me ‘bout lickin’ stuff… God damn.”

Not willing to let him forget that he’d been the one to bring it up, she raised an eyebrow at him as she took a generous bite of the beef jerky that was still pinched between her fingers on one hand and dropped her backpack on the floor. She handed him the snack and also settled on the bench, with the box in-between them. When he was done eating, he screwed up the wrapper in his fist and threw it at her. She batted it away and the two of them sniggered at one another.

Checking on Aaron once again, Daryl noted that he was still perched in his truck's cab, with the door open and one leg dangling out.

“So, did we swap kissing for trust?” Jess suddenly asked, far too loudly for Daryl’s comfort.

“Shh! What is with you today?! Ya so damn loud!” He hissed, worriedly looking over at Aaron again, who clearly hadn’t heard a word and also hadn’t moved an inch. “What are ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

“Well, you started kissing me and now you don’t trust me anymore.” She explained casually.

“For god sakes.” He mumbled to himself as he rose to his feet and scuffed around on the decking. He lit a cigarette and did a small double-take at her while she eagerly awaited some kind of answer. “I do that because I trust ya.” He muttered.

“Then tell me how you knew how to open that safe.”

Daryl, much like his brother, was no angel before the turn. Following in Merle Dixon’s footsteps came with a price and that price was usually paid in the form of a criminal record and a list of things that he wished he’d never got involved in. At the time, he hardly knew any different, their life lived on the edge, drunk and high and notorious for being unpredictable and volatile was the norm and with no other role models to turn to, Daryl didn’t have a chance to choose a different path. He’d been in more fights than he could count, never being one to back down from a questionable look or an offensive remark made in a bar. He’d given Jess hints, snippets of who he used to be and the Daryl she’d met at the quarry was the start of his transition into becoming his own person. The turn itself had given him the clarity he needed to open his mind and showed him that Merle’s way was not the only way. Daryl had always been the more sensitive of the two and was naturally analytical, but he knew that voicing any opinions against anything Merle said was likely to get him punched. He’d done a lot of things that he wasn’t proud of, things that he never really wanted Jess to know. Things that made him so far removed from the kind of person she deserved to be with. He didn’t deserve forgiveness or the benefit of the doubt. He knew what he was and that was a redneck with a record and a lot of regrets.

“Did some stuff I ain't proud of.” He grumbled, pleading with her in his mind to just leave the subject alone. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he didn’t want her to know the lows he’d stooped to either.

“Haven’t we all?” She mused.

“I mean before.” He added. “Ya don’t wanna know.”

“I do.” She corrected “I do want to know. Tell me.”

She was begging him with her innocent eyes, urging him to trust her and he found it almost impossible to decline. She’d seen his temper; she’d been witness to and on the end of his biting remarks when he was angry and she still came back to him. He’d heard it with his own ears that she liked him as more than a friend, even after seeing the parts of his character that he loathed and she’d trusted him with her life and continued to do so. Something told him that she wasn’t about to let the subject go and if she did, she would only ask again at a later date and so, he gave in, deciding not to mention too many details.

“Never robbed a bank. But other places, yeah.” He admitted.

Her face lit up as if he’d graced her with the most valuable nugget of information that nobody else could ever know and on the inside, her heart sang with the fact that he had opened up about something so potentially precarious. She told herself not to react too dramatically, or he was likely to close up again altogether.

“Other places…?” She probed gently.

“Mmhmm. The odd house. Merle used to scope places out n’ we’d go in. Usually rich folks. More money than sense. Some bars n’ liquor stores too.” He confessed.

“You ever hurt anybody?” She wanted to know. She was conscious that the question might well backfire on her but after a brief spell of him chewing nervously on his bottom lip and taking a long drag of his smoke, he nodded solemnly.

“Couple times. Not women. Or kids. Had to keep folks in line, y’know? Stop ‘em callin’ the cops. Never killed nobody…before the turn anyways”

He expelled smoke from his lungs, the plume rising in a bluish cloud above him. The smell of nicotine stung her nose and she realized that he was having trouble bringing his gaze back to her. He was ashamed and it was written all over him. In his body language, in his eyes when she managed to catch sight of them and in his tone of voice. She felt guilt burn in her chest for making him discuss it, but if she never really knew his past, how could she know how far he’d come? It was obvious to Jess that the Daryl that was standing in front of her was most definitely not the Daryl from before the world went bad and she wasn’t about to let him believe otherwise.

“Can you pick locks?” She asked with genuine interest.

“Depends on the lock. But mostly, yeah.”

“And hotwire cars?”

“Yeah.”

She giggled to herself and shook her head in disbelief. The criminal element to his past activities didn’t matter to her anymore, he wasn’t a danger to her or anyone else in Alexandria and the fact that he’d had such a shady past only aided him in his need to protect those he loved in the new world. He wasn’t afraid to do what it took and he didn’t do anything by halves.

“That is so cool.” She expressed, looking up and finding him staring down at her. She lifted a hand and extended her index finger, pointing at him. “You, Dixon… are cooler than a childhood secret handshake”

“Look, if you’d known me back then-” He tried

“-I did know you back then. I met you at the quarry.” She cut in.

He threw his smoke away and let out a long sigh, briefly turning his back to her and leaning on the fencing around the porch. He could see that Aaron was now on his feet and wandering through the front yards of the houses opposite, peeing into windows and opening discarded suitcases.

“I ain’t a good guy, Jess.” She heard him mumble.

“What a load of hooey.” She scoffed.

He shot her a baffled glance over his shoulder and slowly turned around, leaning back against the barrier.

“Hooey? What are you, ninety-four?!”

“Oh, shut up. You are a good person. Okay, look at Ironman.” She mentioned.

“Ironma-what?!” He questioned in exasperation at yet another superhero analogy. He weighed up the benefits of at least trying to pick up one of Carl’s comics for research purposes at some point.

“Tony Stark!” She cried, flinging her hands up “He was a selfish playboy who managed to win the heart of Pepper Potts. Tony did stupid shit all the time, like creating Ultron. But from Ultron came Vision who was a badass character and Tony ended up still being kinda selfish but an altogether good person. I’m rambling, you uh…wanna stop me?”

“Aaron.” He said blankly with a nudge of his head in Aarons direction.

“Right. Aaron’s there. Fine. My point is, it doesn’t matter who you were. What matters is who you are now and what you do with the very useful skills you have. You are a good person, Daryl. And you are cool.” She informed him with a sincerity to her tone that conveyed her belief in what she was saying.

His face changed and his gaze became more intense as he tried to fight the urge to tell her that she should stay away from men like him. That she had no business believing that he was anything other than Merle Dixon’s brother, the criminal redneck with the bad temper.

“Don’t be so naïve, Jess. People, they only show ya what they want you to see. Some folks, they try…they try to be good but inside, all there is... is darkness and pain n’ all the fucked-up shit that they did.”

She leaned back against the bench’s backrest, thudding her jacket against it and crossing one leg over the other.

“Woah. Okay. That’s deep. Take it easy, Bucky.” She smirked to herself.

Suddenly, he remembered overhearing Jess telling Carl that Bucky Barnes was her favorite superhero. It dawned on him that for her to refer to him by that name, it must mean that she saw him as similar. The idea was all kinds of wrong to him. How could he ever be seen in the same vein as a superhero? In his own mind, he was far from it and he didn’t want Jess believing something that he simply would not be able to live up to.

“Winter Soldier.” He said

Her eyes widened and what had started as a throwaway comment that she thought would just get bypassed, had now opened up the truth; that Daryl was her superhero.

“You heard me.” She stated

Aaron was approaching and she quickly shifted her eyes to alert Daryl to his presence. He was only a few feet away, walking along the path towards the front porch they were both residing on.

“Yeah, I heard ya. Shouldn’t call me that name. I ain’t no superhero. Far from it.” He quickly threw in before Aaron could hear anything.

“You don’t see it, but you are to a lot of people. And you are to me.” She concluded.

Standing up to acknowledge Aaron, she clocked extra movement from behind him and the telltale gurgling of blood-filled lungs. Her heart jumped into her throat.

“Walker! WALKER!” She yelled, ripping her bow from her shoulder. “Shit! AARON!”

Daryl however, was quicker off the mark and grabbed his crossbow, fired a bolt and put down the threat before Jess could even choose an arrow. Aaron’s jaw almost hit the floor when he turned to find that the corpse was within grabbing distance and he was soon charging over to Daryl to shake his hand.

“That thing came out of nowhere. Little too close for comfort. Thanks, man.” He said with a form grip around Daryl's fist.

“Anytime.” Daryl replied.

Deanna’s son, Spencer wasn’t half as popular as his fair and reasonable mother. He’d been caught on various occasions taking more than he was allowed from the pantry and had rubbed Daryl up the wrong way right from the day Rick's group arrived. There was something about him that Daryl never trusted and it was for that reason, that he kept his distance and was careful not to disclose any valuable information around him.

Jess had hardly spoken to him, even having arrived in Alexandria considerably earlier than Daryl she’d avoided him due to receiving much the same vibes from him as Daryl did. She also thought him to be creepy and disrespectful towards women, which was surprising considering who his mother was and Jess’s reasonably solid relationship to her.

The trucks were left at the side of the road to be unloaded the next morning with the help of others from the community. Jess hugged Aaron goodbye and stood aside when he shook Daryl’s hand and thanked him a second time for saving his skin. As she backed up, she collided with somebody and spun around to find Spencer grinning down at her from his tall height.

“Spencer, Hi. Sorry, I didn’t know you were there.” She apologized, moving back and creating a considerable distance between them. Daryl hovered around behind her, listening closely and telling himself he’d rather shoot Spencer between the eyes with a bolt than leave her alone with him.

“How are you?” He asked.

“Uh, Fine.” Jess replied curtly.

“Y’know, I’ve seen all the work you’ve done to help the town. How much you’ve changed since you showed up in that mask and hood. Now I know your name, I thought it might be good to get to know you a little better. Maybe you’d like to join me for dinner tonight.” He explained.

Daryl’s hands curled into tight fists at his side and he swallowed hard in an effort to contain the pure fury that was bubbling in his chest. Over her shoulder, Spencer could see the archer glaring angrily at him as he slowly paced back and forth like a guard dog about to attack.

Back off asshole. Lay one fuckin’ finger on her n’ I’ll knock you so hard, you’ll see tomorrow today.

Shocked by the offer and having it come from absolutely nowhere, Jess immediately decided that if this was not some kind of joke, then it was a setup for whatever Spencer’s ulterior motive must be. She couldn’t possibly fathom what she might have that he would ever want, but she certainly had no designs on finding out.

“Thank you for the invitation but I’m going to politely decline. I’m heading home, it’s been a long day. Goodnight.” She delivered gracefully, stepping away and walking to the gate. Daryl was infuriated to find as Jess walked away, Spencer’s eyes dragged up and down her body and he licked his lips, shamelessly checking her out, almost as if he was trying to provoke a response. When he turned back, he found Daryl stood inches from his face with one hand on his knife.

“You think cause you’re Deanna’s son you can get away with whatever ya want?” He growled. Spencer’s mouth dropped open but no sound emerged and Daryl wasn’t in the mood to wait around for chit chat. “You listen to me. If I ever catch you lookin’ at her like that again, I’ma tear your heart outta your ass n’ shove it down your throat. You hearin’ me?”

With one eyebrow flickering up and the badly disguised fear that Daryl had instilled in him settling behind his eyes. Spencer nodded once and backed up, clearing his throat as he turned and walked away.

Daryl didn’t ask to walk her home or stay the night. In fact, conversation was now so far from his mind while he settled his rage that he stalked along behind Jess, having caught her up. She quickly guessed that being walked home was going to be a regular thing since the threat of attack was now even more heightened. What was unusual, was the quietness that resonated from beside her as Daryl ambled along the path, pushing branches aside. After such a chat-filled day, she thought it a little strange that he hadn’t uttered a single word yet.

“You’re quiet. What’s wrong?” She asked.

“M’always quiet.” He grumbled.

“Alright. Whatever.” She shrugged, feeling her body heat surge under her jacket “Ahh, it’s evening and it’s still so hot. What I wouldn’t give for some Blue Belle right now.”

“What’s that?” He questioned, sounding as though he couldn’t have cared less.

“Only the best ice cream made in Texas. Preferably chocolate chip cookie dough. It was my pre-apocalypse, binge-eating go-to.” She told him with a slight smile at the memory of the finest tasting treat she’d ever eaten. Of all the things she missed, Blue Belle was most definitely one of them.

“Nice.” He grunted.

“Single girls best friend. Along with cats…and vibrators.” She continued to babble, feeling him glance sideways at her “So I’m told.”

The temptation to hint at being single, even at the end of the world was strong and so, she’d given in in the small hope that he might pick up on it and make some kind of comment about how she couldn’t exactly call herself single anymore. She could hope, but it didn’t happen. In fact, all that did transpire was another long and tension-filled silence.

“Sonofabitch” She suddenly sighed, flapping her hands noisily by her sides and stopping on the path. “It’s like you’re not even here. What is it? What’s bothering you?”

“S’nothin’.” He uttered, unwilling to lie to her and tell her the truth at the same time. He was torn between coming across as jealous once more or throwing her a mistruth to keep her attention away from the fact that it literally made his blood boil when another man looked at her or spoke to her in a remotely sexual way.

“Daryl, just tell me.” She demanded with a sternness on her face that he didn’t necessarily want to contend with. If he pushed back and continued to deny it, she would become angrier and the last thing he wanted was to fight with her.

“Alright, fine” He snapped “Just…don’t overthink it, or freak out, okay?”

“I will…try. I will try not to do that.” She attempted to promise, knowing full well that her specialties were overthinking and freaking out.

“It’s Abe. He keeps harpin’ on about havin’ sex with ya. Now Spencer’s got a thing for ya too.”

Jess didn’t think before she did it, but when a laugh tumbled from her lips at the thought of Abraham making any serious moves on her while he was with Rosita, or even at all, it had proved too amusing to ignore. From her perspective, Daryl just couldn’t not understand the type of friendship she had with the big, cocky military guy. Maybe it was because he’d never been party to such a friendship in his life before, or maybe it was because Abraham’s humour and take on life was different to Daryl’s. Either way, he would only continue to get riled up by it unless she tried to explain it to him.

“Abe really does not mean that, Daryl.” She assured him.

“You sure ‘bout that?” he questioned.

“Yes, I am actually. He’s military. That’s his humor and I’m used to it because that’s how I grew up, I was an Army brat. I see a lot of my brother and his friends in Abe and that’s why we get along so well.” She conveyed.

Daryl thought back to when Merle had left the Military. Dishonorably discharged for punching his superior. It was no more than Daryl expected at the time. He’d arrived back at the Dixon house with a bag of his belongings and much the same humor as he’d possessed before he embarked on a new route in his life. Daryl couldn’t blame the military for Merle’s low opinion of women, the way he saw them as pieces of meat most of the time was present long before his days doing drills and target practice.

“So, ya ain’t gonna… Y’know?” He checked with a certain nervous disposition. The thumb of one of his hands was anxiously tapping away at the bottom of his vest.

“No! That’d be like incest.” She grimaced.

“Right.” He grunted “What ‘bout Spencer? Guys a dick.”

He refrained from admitting that he’d squared up to Spencer and threatened him with violence if he ever looked at Jess the wrong way again. He knew there was a very good chance that word would get back to her about that anyway and all he needed was one, little excuse to follow up on his promise. But he knew that Jess would only bombard him with questions he just couldn’t answer.

“Yeah, he is and I’m not interested. Why do you care about who wants to sleep with me, anyway?” She wanted to know.

Then, Daryl broke his own code. The lie had drifted out like it was nothing.

“I don’t.”

In the back of his mind, he cursed himself.

C’mon. You fuckin’ pussy. You do care. Don’t lie to her.

“So, this brooding silence is all for nothing.” She snapped, flapping her hands by her side and charging off. He sighed in frustration and continued to follow her, almost able to feel the irritation radiating from her very being. They covered only a short distance before she stopped out of the blue once more and blocked his path.

“Look, even if he does want to sleep with me, it’s a compliment. I’m no supermodel but why wouldn’t a guy want to have sex with me? I mean, I spent my whole life thinking I’m not good enough. But maybe I am. I may be a geek to the bone but I have feelings and needs and I’m not a freakin’ nun. I didn’t have the willpower to go down that road, remember?”

All at once, it occurred to him that in his desperate need to keep her away from anyone else’s affections, he’s somehow managed to offend her. His head grew louder as he tried to find a way to put things right, tried to search for something to say, for a way to explain away the fact that he hated the idea of anyone but him being able to touch her. But the words wouldn’t present themselves from the ocean on muddled thoughts in his head. Words were just not his forte.

“I didn’t mean…just forget it.” He mumbled.

“No. Y’know what? Why not Abe or even Spencer? You don’t want them anywhere near me yet I’m not good enough for you to want me, am I, Daryl?”

His whole body went rigid at the sound of her question. His eyes widened and even his nervous hand tapping on his vest ceased. She’d been pushed to the edge and he hadn’t even realized the can of worms he was opening as he was speaking. His heart sank when she stormed off and left him there, clueless and afraid that he might have just screwed everything up with the one person that had ever meant anything to him and all because he had no idea how to tell her how he really felt.

He kicked at the bushes and leaves on the ground around him as darkness blanketed the woods. Emotions had ever been easy for Daryl to contend with. A lifetime of stuffing them down, being beaten for crying by his father and having his older brother try to ‘make a man’ out of him. He still felt them, searing and powerful and unchecked, more often than not translating into violent outbursts or a feeling of too much all at once that usually led to cigarette burns on the back of his hands or some other self-destructive way of release. Now, he had feelings of an altogether different kind, new and complicated and truly terrifying even to someone of his level of courage. Those feelings were gradually tearing down everything that was good when they should have been building it up. Jess. She was the good in his life. She was the thing that made him smile and laugh and brought out things in him that he never even knew were there to begin with. He was going to lose her unless he did something, unless he acted with haste and the only way he knew how to do that was with actions instead of words.

Jess was staring at a blank page in her journal when the bell on the gate rang. She clenched her jaw, snapping the pen between her teeth and throwing it on the bed along with what had proved to be a useless form of venting. The pages of the journal bent and scrunched when the book hit the quilt after she carelessly threw it aside.

She stood up, ran her hands down her black tank top and grey sweatpants and tugged the tie from her hair as she squinted through the gap in the blacked out window. Daryl was eagerly treading back and forth beyond the gate, his crossbow swinging by his side and his eyes sweeping the floor as he moved. She could tell, even from her distance away that he was battling some kind of internal war with himself and she prepared for what was looking likely to be an awkward exchange.

She headed outside, slamming the door behind her and running a hand through her hair as she reached the gate. He stopped and threaded his crossbow across his shoulder, his bottom lip clamped under his teeth.

“You’re mad at me” He stated before she could speak. “I ain't leavin’ things that way.”

“I’m tired. It makes me sassy. Apparently” She said quietly, wishing that she could leave and go back to the diner. To the quietness where she could at least try and make sense of how everything was changing. She was reaching the end of her tether and the direct and angry question that she’d spat at him like it was acid had worked its way out from the back of her mind. She didn’t have the strength to hold it back anymore.

“Kinda like your sass.” He admitted, moving closer to the gate and linking his fingers through it. “You gonna let me in?”

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to the house?” She asked.

He dipped his head for a moment and leaned it against the fencing. His hair flattened and she heard him drag in a deep breath before he raised his head again and positioned his eyes between the diamond gaps in the structure, looking right at her and silently pleading with her to just let him inside.

“Need to put somethin’ straight first” he answered.

“That’s very cryptic” she muttered, unimpressed and flicking the latch on the gate to allow him access.

He followed her wordlessly to the diner and as soon as he clicked the door closed behind them, he wasted no time in reaching out to grab her hand, quickly halting her and closing the gap between them. Her hands instinctively came up and rested on his chest, as if she was about to push him away but he held onto her tightly, with one hand holding her waist and the other raised to her face. His finger was extended over her lips, signaling that he didn’t want her to talk. To him, it wasn’t the time for it. She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. His fingers curled against the skin of her waist, almost gripping her flesh and the want in his touch matched that of his eyes, which were piercing and serious. He hadn’t even kissed her but it was enough to make her weaken in his grasp and she felt her legs begin to tremble. He could sense her anxiety and removed his finger from her lips, bringing his face close to hers and pressing soft kisses to her nose and cheeks, guiding her hair from her eyes with a gentle sweeping of his fingertips. His voice was a mere whisper but it was the only sound in the room and Jess was glad of it when she heard the words swirl around her mind.

“You think I don’t want you.”

It was a statement. Not a question. Her heart jumped and her stomach flipped and she almost gasped when she realized that her earlier assumption, the idea that he didn’t want her, was so important to him that he’d refused to leave it alone until he could put it right.

He gently kissed her and she seemed to clamber up to him, rising to her tip toes and feeding her constant need for him. The fill the void in her soul that was only made for him. She loved him and every time he touched her; she was even more sure of it. Her hands snaked up his chest, settling on either side of his strong and tanned neck and she was holding him to her with enough strength to tell him that she did not have designs on pulling away. Her body was pressed to his, aided by the hand at her waist now travelling around and pressing at her lower back. She tensed slightly at first but was soon arching herself into him as their kiss shifted in intensity and she felt his tongue dance against hers. She raised her arms and draped them over his shoulders and he took it as permission to pull her even closer, with a sharp tug that made her gasp against his lips.

The skin of her shoulder sparkled at his touch when she felt him nudging the strap of her tank top aside and his lips left hers to create a delightful trail from her jaw down her neck and across her collarbone. He still had hold of her strap and the more he pulled it down, the more the ball of anxiety in her stomach grew. She tried to blink it away, to focus on how good it felt to let him lavish her with attention that she could only ever have dreamed about. She’d wanted it for so long, the chance to be so close to him, to know the urgency of his touch and see in his eyes that he wanted her. He wanted her.

“You okay…?” He asked between kisses.

“Yeah.” She breathed.

“Put ya legs around my waist.” He rasped at her.

“Wha-”

She didn’t have time to ask questions. She held her breath when both of his big arms enveloped her waist and she was lifted from the floor, her toes wiggled and the soles of her feet were suddenly cold. With her attached to him, legs gripping his middle and his lips now back on hers, he walked her to the diner’s countertop, sitting her on the edge and lifting both of his hands to her front. When he grazed over the shape of her breasts, he was careful not to use too much pressure no matter how much he wanted to, it would all happen with time and too much, too soon could spell disaster. Gauging her reaction and taking her pink, moistened lips and breathlessness to be a good thing, he stepped things up. He placed his hands on her thighs but was mindful not to grip where she’d been grabbed before by the harsh digits of those that she didn’t want to touch her. She managed to glance down between them, to find his fingers gliding over her legs, up to her pelvis, his thumbs smoothing along her inner thighs to make her core sing and her nerves spark even through her sweatpants. Reaching her hips again, he dragged her over the counters surface and something tightened inside him when he eased one of her legs aside and positioned himself between them. His own self-doubt began to toy with him. It had been so long since he’d been in any kind of intimate situation that he wasn’t sure of his own abilities. But she was still kissing him and smiling against him and she hadn’t stopped him yet.

Jess didn’t really know what to expect and so far, everything was steaming along in a lusty haze. Half of her wanted to surrender to him and let him do what he wanted, while the other half of her was screaming to her to stop and that she wasn’t ready for it. But she was stunned that a man such as Daryl, who looked so rough and unrefined, could be so gentle and thoughtful with every connection to her skin and every kiss. The pull to carry on, to ignore the voice in the back of her mind that was telling her it was all too much was being stifled by him winding a hand into her hair and slowly easing her head back. She felt his lips and tongue on her neck, tasting her and sucking the flesh just enough to add a slither of pain, a delightful thrum of a new sensation.

“You think I don’t want you” He growled again against her throat. “I do”

She couldn’t help it, her hand delved into his hair as her eyes snapped open and as she stared at the ceiling, totally flabbergasted by his admittance. She’d never felt anything like it, never heard anyone tell her such a thing and his enthusiasm was knocking her for six. How could she possibly be provoking this kind of yearning from him? Her head was full of questions, but the urge to act now and think later was presiding. His hands moved again, this time venturing to the bottom of her top as he kissed her hungrily.

“Want me to keep goin’?” He asked when his lips momentarily left hers. She tried to speak but nothing but a hush of air emerged. She nodded.

He slowly eased his hands inside her top and the warmth and roughness of him felt amazing on her skin but she began to feel self-conscious when he reached parts of her torso that had not always been that way. Once, they’d felt different and as a result of her evolution, she was left with the marks to prove it. Straight away her limbs were so shaky, it was like they were fading away to nothing. Her muscles tightened under his palms and she tensed up. When he noticed, he didn’t need to ask for an explanation and removed his hands, changing tact and kissing her slowly and deeply. To him, she was curvaceous and alluring in ways that he couldn't even began to try and explain. He just wanted to explore her, all of her, all at once. She groaned against him, experiencing a rush of affection for his choosing not to make a big deal out of her reluctance. But then, he slid his hands down her back to her ass, pulling her hips flush with his pelvis. Yes, it had been a long time indeed for Daryl and the urge to press himself against her had proved to be all too strong. In one, swift movement, the hot and hard sensation that she found held between her legs caused her to shut down. She froze. Every muscle in her body going totally still and all he could do was look down at her, battling the onset of sheer panic.

“Jess? You alright?” he asked with a shaky voice.

“I…I need to stop.” She stammered.

He immediately held his hands up and stepped out from between her legs, showing her in no uncertain terms that he was listening and doing as she asked. He turned to the side and cleared his throat, subtly using one hand to adjust himself in his pants as she slid down from the counter and pulled her straps back up.

“Please will you leave.” She whispered.

“What? What did I do?” He questioned worriedly.

“Nothing. Please, just leave.” She pleaded.

When he noticed that she couldn’t even look at him, his hands went to his head and he briefly pushed his palms to his eyes, devastated by the notion that he might have taken things too far and scared her. His chest was so tight with despair he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Oh… shit.” She heard him whimper before he dropped his arms and gave her the saddest and most desperate look that she never even realized he was capable of. “I thought this was OK. I asked ya. You said it was. I thought you wanted to-”

“Daryl. Please… go” She said, closing her eyes and fighting back tears.

“Alright. Fine. I’m goin’.”

The door slamming made her flinch and the absence of him in the room hit her in the gut like a punch. She buckled over and sank to the floor, hugging her knees and pushing her eyes closed, tears managing to work their way out from beneath as sobs wracked her body.

Masterlist

Fear not, dear readers, this story will continue. I’ll post chapter 30 soon. We took a break as we’ve been working on this story for the past year. We haven’t abandoned it at all. Mistress Mistrust is focusing on her studies but will be back.

-- tagging as requested --

@woundmetender @lilred254 @lonewolf471

#daryl dixon #daryl fanfiction #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl x oc #daryl

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around - Chapter 28

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 30/?

Through the winding country roads that soon turned into city streets, some blocked by crowds of Walkers and some clear enough for Jess to race through like a bat out of hell, her anticipation only grew stronger. Daryl was silently monitoring their progress on the map and keeping tabs on the intermittent tire tracks and oily drips on the road’s surface. Carl clung to the window in the back seat like a frightened child. But Jess knew it wasn’t the world outside the vehicle that was alarming him, it was the prospect of losing the girl he cared for if they failed to find her or they were too late. His boot tapped nervously on the frame of the drivers chair and Jess could feel a constant, droning vibration rise up through the seat. It irritated her, but she kept quiet, her patience now thinner than she was comfortable with.

The sun was low in the sky and with that came a simmering sense of dread for Daryl, who was more than aware that if they lost the light, they also lost their opportunity to extract Enid from her demise before any harm could come to her. He couldn’t have anyone else die, no one else could be lost. He’d already shouldered every single one and blamed himself for the group’s numbers diminishing. Should have done more, acted with more haste, thought quicker or just done something, anything to save the people they’d lost. It was an unavoidable side effect of being more sensitive than he cared to admit – or so Carol told him. She’d advised him after the death of Maggie’s younger sister that he had to allow himself to feel it. He didn’t know how she’d noticed that his very soul was starting to crumble, but he needed to hear those words, more than he’d realized and since then, he’d allowed a small semblance of feeling through, just enough to continue on. But Jess was changing that by charging through his barriers and forcing him to face feelings he didn’t know how to handle.

He stole a glimpse of her, hunched over the steering wheel and squinting at a passing road sign that was broken in half. They were heading out of the city, having worked their way around the outskirts and with each passing mile, Daryl’s mind began to wander to the conversation they’d had in the fairground before Carl arrived and dumped one hell of a problem in the middle of it all. He’d said what he wanted to say, but something told him it still wouldn’t suffice in Jess’s mind and all that was left to do was hope that he’d bought himself enough time to figure things out properly. Their dynamic had shifted, evolved and flourished, even, into something terrifying yet strangely addictive and although his attention was resolute when it came to finding Enid, being able to kiss Jess was never far from his thoughts.

“Stop!” Carl yelled from behind them. His voice shot through the silence like a knife through butter and Jess found herself having to take a deep breath due to being so startled. She hit the breaks and the car skidded to an abrupt halt, sending all three of them surging forwards momentarily. “Look. Through there. High walls and lights.” He pointed out while twisting his torso to fit through the gap between the seats. Jess pushed Carl back through to the back by shoving at his shoulder and punched at the clip on the glove box. It sprang open and she clawed at its contents, sending litter and dust scattering across Daryl’s lap. He blinked slowly and turned his head to her but she ignored the cross look he was presenting her with. Finally, she found what she was looking for and pulled out the heavy binoculars. Bringing them to her eyes, she waited for her vision to adjust and surveyed the scene before them. At the end of the tree-lined street, a high wall loomed up with floodlights positioned every few yards along it. She could detect no sign of any people, but she knew well enough that it was not wise to assume anything.

“That’s a college.” Daryl mused to himself as he peered through the dusty windscreen.

“Mm” Jess hummed in agreement. “Lights are on but it looks like nobody is home.”

“Somebody’s home alright.” Daryl confirmed with a quiet confidence. He knew better than most that even the most abandoned places could surprise a weary traveler with their guard down and they were not looking at an abandoned college, the beaming lights in the evening glow were a sure sign that they may have reached their destination.

“Do you think she’s in there?” Carl asked.

A memory abruptly caught Jess’s attention; The city. The group she’d seen having been the reason she left. The same group from the woods, the same group that attacked Alexandria and shot Daryl. It could well have been where they came from.

“I think she is” She admitted with a quick look at Daryl who caught her eye and offered her a short nod to signal that he was in agreement. He clicked open the car door and grabbed his crossbow from the foot-well. Jess shot a hand out and grabbed his wrist.

“Wait.” She ordered. Her eyes met his and in them, he observed a complex mixture of worry, fear and a need for some clarification. “How are we doing this?”

It was quite simple to Daryl. Carl was staying out of harm’s way, locked in the car where no one, living or dead, could get at him. As for Jess – putting her in the firing line wasn’t an option. He would keep her with him and protect her with his life, using her only to cover him if he needed it.

“He’s stayin’ right here” he said with a nudge of his head at Carl “And you’re followin’ my lead.”

Her forehead wrinkled and she released a sigh through her nose. Daryl had known Jess long enough by that point to be able to predict what she was about to say and if he was a betting man, he would have put money on her need to protest.

“Why are you leading? I can lead.” She stated.

“You really gonna argue with me about everythin’?! Get outta the car n’ let’s go find the girl.” He instructed firmly and with a wave of his hand. A loud scoff and a mumble followed Jess’s exit from the car. Before she closed the door, she crawled hallway back inside, far enough to come face-to face with Carl. Saying nothing, she presented him with a stern look and a finger pointed right at him. She didn’t need words to relay how important it was that he stayed where he was and Carl was under no illusions that if he was to disobey her again, she was likely to cut him into little pieces with the machete hanging from her belt.

She’d seen it a million times before in movies, the silent hand gestures made by the military and some characters with no such background that somehow appeared to just know them by heart. But Jess was an Army brat and knew her stuff when it came to deciphering instructions told with the use of one hand. Daryl, having apparently picked up a thing or two, was pleased to find that she understood his every order and scuttled across the street close behind him. The two of them hovered behind a burned-out car, fingers curling over the edge of the holes where the windows once were and Jess tried to blink away the slight blur in her vision after so long spent driving and focusing on the roads. She was thankful that her now natural requisite for planning, gained while living alone in the city, meant she’d had the forethought to keep a packed backpack by the door of the diner that contained her gloves, mask, arm guard holsters and hooded jacket. Carl’s random appearance in the backseat of the car also meant that she had time to suit up before they progressed even further. Her gear not only acted as protection but also as a confidence booster. If she felt equipped enough for whatever she may encounter, she would be more inclined to panic less and think more.

Up ahead, Daryl detected movement. Only slight but enough for him to be even more sure that the compound behind the walls was occupied with the living and that they’d more than likely found where Enid was being held. He carefully observed the view, counting two figures by a gate that, judging by its mismatched wooden panels, had been erected long since the turn.

“Two guards on the gate” He whispered to Jess who had one hand on the rusty shell of the car and the other clutched around the handle of her machete.

“Yup. You distract them. I’ll sneak in.” She told him.

“No. No way. Ya ain’t goin’ in there.” He countered without hesitation. “If they catch ya, it’s over.”

Apparently unbothered by his dismissal of her proposal, she moved her hand up to her bow and unhooked it from across her torso. She then slid an arrow from the quiver and gripped it tightly in her gloved fist. Risking a small peep through the car to her target, she shifted backwards and finally caught Daryl’s waiting eye.

“If they catch me, they’ll keep me alive. If they catch you, they’ll kill you on the spot.” She pointed out.

He couldn’t argue with her reasoning, she was correct, after all. They wouldn’t dither about putting him down if they found him, much like they didn’t when they walked into Alexandria and slaughtered almost a third of the population for sport. They would most certainly keep Jess alive too and that thought was enough to make him want to bundle her back into the car and lock the doors.

“Look at me.” He growled as she fumbled with her mask, tugging it up and over her mouth and nose. “You are not goin’ in there.”

“I’ll be fi-“

“-Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Jess.” He hissed “Now, you listen to me and you listen real good; we ain't got time for your stubborn shit right now. I am not arguin’ with you about this. If you really wanna be involved then you’re gonna shut the fuck up n’ do as I say or so help me god, I will lock you in that car with the kid n’ do this myself.”

Sure that his rant had hit home, he waited for her reaction, only to find that her eyes brightened and she tilted her head back slightly. Under her mask, she was smiling.

“Are you scolding me, Stinky?” She challenged.

“Uh, yes… I am.” He replied meekly, unable to mask the fact that her refusal to bow to his demands had left him feeling rather sheepish.

“Okay, fine” She sang with a roll of her eyes “I’ll make a ruckus out here, try and keep things going as long as I can.”

“No.” He refused blankly “We do this together.”

“Daryl, there is no way we are getting in there without a distraction. You know that.” She argued.

His shoulders slumped and he dropped one knee onto the ground to stabilize himself from his crouching position. His vision lowered and he shook his head slowly. Jess heard him sigh and for a moment, began to worry that she was annoying him with the confidence she had in her plan. She quickly checked the scene beyond the car and found it to be much the same, no one had detected them yet.

“I ain’t leavin’ ya alone. I can’t” she heard him utter from her side.

He cut quite the somber figure, kneeling with his head bowed at first before gradually lifting it to find her looking at him with a slightly bemused expression. It was dawning on her that he was disagreeing so vehemently because he cared. He cared about her and wanted her to stay by his side. Far from wanting to push him away or send him back into his shell, she mirrored him and leaned her weight on one knee.

“I promise I’ll be carefu-”

His hand covering hers on her knee silenced her and her mouth hung open as she glanced down at his fingers brushing the back of her hand. The arrow she held was pinned down against her knee and grew hot when her palm flushed with warmth.

“Please.” He urged upon an exhalation. “I can’t lose you”

Not even a full day had passed and Jess had been gifted with not one almost confession, but two. It was the closest thing she’d had to some clarity about what was happening between them and so far, she was knocked for six by his unexpected and moderately forthright change of tact. She now understood that he was interested enough not only to continue kissing her, but also to unashamedly present his anxiety about leaving her alone during a rescue mission. To Jess, it was hard to imagine that she had provoked feelings in Daryl that surpassed friendship and while she still remained skeptical and slightly guarded, a part of her hoped that given time, she would be blessed with the kind of confession she only dared to dream about.

“Carl can see us” She mentioned after hearing a shuffle from the direction of the car they’d arrived in. She could near enough feel Carl staring at them through the window without even having to look for herself.

“I don’t care.” He breathed with his lips barely moving and his body statue still, his eyes pinned on hers.

She swallowed hard and dreaded having to make her point once more. But she believed with everything she had that a distraction was their best chance and if she stated her case logically, Daryl would be forced to admit that she was right. She leaned towards him and looked right at him.

“They’re not going to catch me. I survived alone for so long because I am good at blending into the shadows. You know this makes sense. I can do this. I can fight. You know I can because you helped train me.” She explained.

His hand instantly lifted from hers and her skin flashed with the coldness of his absence. He pawed at his face, rubbing his eyes and growling to himself.

“Fine” He grumbled. “But you be careful, use ya smarts n’ if shit goes down, you run to the car and get yourself and Carl the hell outta here. Do you hear me? You do not go inside those walls and you do not come lookin’ for me.”

“Alright. I won’t.” She replied as she started to stand on both feet, keeping her body low behind the car.

Yeah, right. Like I’d ever leave without you, Stinky.

“Go” He ordered with a nudge of his head in the direction of the gate. She readied her bow, pushing her shoulders back and shaking her head as if to shake off the fear that was bubbling in the pit of her stomach.

“I need you to live. You hear me?” Daryl added out of nowhere. Jess’s body stilled and she fought the urge to lunge at him and kiss him but with Carl watching on, she refrained from putting them in a situation that would later be difficult to explain.

“If I don’t, you can have my T-shirts and the fairground.” She joked instead. But his stony expression didn’t waiver for even a second and her heart ached.

“I’m serious.” He pointed out needlessly. She knew he was serious; it was written all over his face and in the depths of his worried eyes. Time was ticking away and as much as she wanted to stay with him and debate the ramifications of losing her and exactly how much he would miss her if she was gone, she had to get moving and leaving things on such a heavy and emotionally draining note was far from appealing to her.

“You started an important conversation earlier. It’d be rude of me to die half way through” she reminded him. It was sneaky, she was willing to admit that much, but no matter what happened since their conversation at the fairground, Jess wanted to make sure that the topic wasn’t just forgotten about. She still wanted a definitive answer and although she couldn’t even begin to figure out how, she had a backlog of things she wanted to say stored up in her mind.

“You’re so fuckin’ weird.” He huffed with a small smile.

“Ahh, you like me that way.” She brought her hand up, the arrow pinched between her palm and thumb and waved him off as she backed up to the sidewalk.

“I do. Be careful” He replied.

“You too, don’t get shot again. Or Nurse Jess will make another appearance” She quipped while sliding the arrow into the compound bows arrow rest. Her concentration on her weapon meant that she missed the point when Daryl’s face broke into a rare and wide smile.

“Don’t tempt me” He grinned.

Her eyes shot up to him and a rush of air left her lungs in a bashful laugh.

“Huh. Shut up.” She chuckled before standing up straight, walking out into the middle of the road and striding boldly towards the gate with her bow held up and ready, the bowstrings and arrow drawn back, taut and threatening.

A new bow and some mediocre practice didn’t necessarily mean accurate aim for Jess, who was used to her ancient relic of a weapon that she’d collected from the Renaissance Faire and lovingly restored and modified to her advantage. Her newer, more modern replacement was not without its issues, it felt completely different but the one saving grace of such a weapon swap was that she was now able to eject arrows that were notably faster than before and that meant that they were even more lethal.

Daryl didn’t even realize his hands were shaking as he watched Jess strutting along the middle of the road and nearing the lion’s den. When he lifted his crossbow from his shoulder, he found himself having to pause as he looked down at his fingers trembling against the handle. It was bizarre to him, even in the most perilous of situations, he hadn’t felt such trepidation. But his concern was not for himself, it was for the woman that was bravely facing the enemy head-on and putting herself at risk of death. The woman that had changed him. The only woman he’d ever flirted with. The woman he kissed. The first and only woman he’d ever cared about.

C’mon. Focus. She needs you to focus. She’s gonna be fine. She’s got this. She’s got balls bigger than mine.

Yelling in the distance meant he rapidly crawled across the floor, peeked around the back end of the car and held his breath.

The arrow narrowly missed the left gate guards head and Jess grunted in disapproval as she equipped another arrow and took aim for the second time.

“Fuck a duck” She hissed to herself “Thought I had that in the bag.”

The man’s shout of surprise alerted more people beyond the barrier and the structure exploded with movement like rabbits running at the sound of a shotgun.

Hah. Look at them all run. She thought with a smirk.

The second arrow embedded in the wood behind the gate guard on the right. He ducked and dramatically covered his head as if the sky were about to implode on top of him. While the other one screamed at the top of his lungs that they were under attack. Despite being in the center of the street, in plain view and not far enough away for them to have missed her, Jess could only assume that the two guards were not the brightest bulbs in the box and so, she raised a hand in a wave.

“Hey, Dumbasses!” She cried.

At the sound of her voice, both men at the gate and two more that had appeared at the top of the wall on ladders all froze and stared at her. The scene was so comical and surprisingly scatter-brained to Jess that she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Y’all are a few fries short of a happy meal in there, huh? I’m right here!” She announced at the top of her voice, throwing her arms up with her bow in the air. One of the men at the gate readied a rifle and lowered his head to the scope and someone, though Jess couldn’t tell who, ordered for the gate to be opened. “Now we’re talkin’. C’mon out, kittie, kittie, kitties.” She urged under her breath.

When the gate clunked and began to open, she took it as her cue to turn and run. Her boots hit the asphalt so hard that the soles of her feet stung and from the corner of her eye, she noted Daryl crossing in front of the houses, moving stealthily from car to car, using the bushes for cover. Her heart started to thud in her chest when she veered off to the opposite side of the road to Daryl, vanishing along the side of a house as the sound of boots on the ground and men throwing instructions at one another closed in.

One…Two…Three… Daryl counted

“Four…five. Shit. There’s five on her tail.” He whispered to himself while he edged closer to the gate behind the cover of a truck with smashed windows. He craned his neck when he reached the rear of the vehicle and spotted a single guard atop of the wall, perfectly distracted by trying to follow his comrades in pursuit of Jess through a pair of binoculars. Inside, the coast seemed to be clear and Daryl, with his crossbow ready, managed to cross the threshold of the gate and scoped out his surroundings after ducking behind a heavily reinforced truck. Bit by bit, he took in the strange sight of the vehicle, thinking that it was like something from Mad Max. He’d watched the movie with Merle when he was high and the real deal was even more vivid than the technicolor images he’d seen back then. The windows were covered with metal, holes and gaps harshly punched through the surface to provide vision. The tires were over-sized, heavy duty and quite obviously not the originals. On the sides of the truck, spikes protruded from the bodywork and Daryl had to carefully maneuver in-between them to prevent himself from being impaled by the rusty, blood covered points. He positioned himself behind one of the huge wheels and waited. Footsteps scuffed past and orders were being barked from one man to another. He counted at least five different voices as he eased forwards, peering under the truck and spotting a building opposite with low windows. He jumped and his stomach knotted at the sounds of distant gunshots.

Jess.

Climbing wasn’t exactly on the top of Jess’s skills list, especially when it came to scaling the fences of back yards with a group of dangerous men chasing her. Having tripped twice and ripping the arm of her jacket, her patience was struggling not to crack. But through sheer pig-headedness she pressed on, the massive inconvenience of it all and the need for it to be over was enough for her to summon the energy to toss herself over yet another wooden paneled fence. Grateful for her leather-palmed gloves and her thick jacket, her skin was sore but well protected when she scaled what felt like the hundredth, ten-foot wall. Reaching the top, time seemed to kick into slow-motion and she blinked in surprise. Her hands had let go of the structure and the dusty, cracked ground was suddenly a lot nearer than she’d anticipated. Her heart lurched and her muscles constricted. Before she could even register that she was falling, she landed with a thump. Her shoulder screamed in pain from the landing and her bow was sent clattering across the dust. She rolled onto her back and clutched the top of her arm in attempt to check if her joint had been knocked out of place again. Pain hummed through her nerves as she threw her head back and puffed out a muffled cry of agony. The faint patter of boots on the ground was the thing that got her to her feet and she rotated her shoulder, relieved to discover that it was still in its rightful place. She retrieved her bow, brushed the dust from her jacket and shook her head briefly.

“Son of a gun.” She uttered “Ouch.”

That was about as graceful as an elephant on a slide. Parkour is definitely on the list for training session ideas.

A plan. She could hear a plan being formed. Two men in the next yard. She had been lucky they didn’t hear her messy, undignified collision with the floor. She linked her arm under the bows upper limb and hooked it up onto her good shoulder while slowly and stealthily sliding the knife Daryl had gifted her so long ago from its sheath on her belt. Her steps could barely be detected as she tiptoed along the fence to the gate at the side of the house, pleased and annoyed that the path turned to grass half way along. If only she’d known that when she was on the other side. Finding the gate unlocked, she inched it open and spun around, pressing her back to the wall and keeping her blade up as she waited for the movement on the other side of the fence to approach. To her delight, she found that her target succeeded her own lack of grace and trundled noisily towards the gate, swearing to himself and coughing.

Rolling her eyes at the shocking level of stupidity being displayed, she felt a rush of confidence when the door eased open and the man stepped into view. Holding his gun out in front of him proved to be fruitless when Jess knocked it clean from his hand with one swipe and threw her entire body weight at him, sending them both crashing into the door. Before she even had time to think, she had managed to work her blade into the space between his neck and the wood and was dragging it across the stubbled flesh with a sickening ease. She yanked the blade out and stepped back, watching as the man dropped to the floor and held onto the dark crimson, pulsing gash under his graying beard. He gurgled and spluttered and she winced when blood sprayed out of the wound between his fingers and peppered across her face and clothing. Adrenaline coursed through her veins but she had seen enough death to last a lifetime and took a moment to close her eyes and look away as the life drained out of the human being before her.

She pressed on, shoving the man’s pistol into her waistband and having to consciously hold back a cry of pure delight when she discovered a door in the fence to the next yard.

At last. Folks that actually liked one another enough to have an adjoining door in their yard.

She pulled back the rusty bolt and creaked the door open, finding another man wandering around with his back to her and peering into the windows of the house. She unhooked her bow and nocked an arrow, drawing in a steady breath as her feet took her closer and closer, still undetected and being provided with a perfect opportunity. This time, she wanted more than just a quick death for her potential assailant. She wanted information. At the bottom of the patio steps, she steadily lifted a boot and pulled her body weight up while keeping her aim steady. The man turned and her heart skipped a beat when he attempted to raise his gun.

“Uh-uh. Not advisable” She told him.

Her voice was surprisingly authoritative considering how unsteady her mind was when she saw the face of the man in front of her. In a split second, she was transported back to Aaron’s kitchen table and her wrists and thighs stung with the memory of the rough, strong hands that pinned her to the surface. In the throes of terror, while she fought with every fiber of her being to escape the clutches of the cruel men that intended to hurt her, she caught a glimpse of a face that she’d refused to remember until that point. While she knew that face belonged to a man that was no more, the individual she was pointing her weapon at looked remarkably like him. Her chest flooded with nerves and her breathing began to falter but on the surface she managed to hold it together. His mouth opened and she could tell he was going to yell for help.

“Shh” She hissed at him.

He jolted towards her, flinging an arm at her bow and knocking it to the floor. Having no time to gather her thoughts and consider he next move, her instincts took over and she snatched her machete from her belt with one hand as she took the final step and jammed her straightened fingers into the man’s Adam’s apple. The movement was so rapid, the man barely registered it until he buckled over and gagged at her feet. She heard him wheeze when the breath he so needed to inhale was snatched away. His gun fell from his hand and just when she thought she had the situation under control, he staggered to his feet and lashed out, managing to backhand her across the face, snapping her head to the side. Her vision blurred and pain seared through her cheekbone at the same time as pure rage began to simmer in her very soul. She stumbled back but instead of giving up, she forced her bad shoulder into action and bit down on her lower lip as she slashed across his stomach. His hands frantically sought to hold the deep cut in his abdomen closed but blood was soon seeping through his fingers and staining his clothes in a rapidly growing map of his demise. Taking the chance to re-equip her bow, she swooped down to it and plucked another arrow from her quiver just as she saw his lips part and panic fill his eyes.

“HEL-”

“-Keep yelling and I will drag your fucking guts out onto the grass.” She warned steadily and with an assured and certain edge to her voice. Her threat was not empty and she could see that despite his dire situation, the man was in no position to argue. “The girl your people kidnapped today. Is she alive?”

“I ain’t telling you shit, bitch.” He spat.

His voice was not unlike the man that Daryl had bludgeoned to death in Aaron and Eric’s kitchen. Similar face, similar voice, part of the same group. She was beginning to put the pieces together and could only conclude that she was now face-to face with the brother of one of the men that had tried to rape her. Her cheek was aching with discomfort and she knew that under her mask, a hefty bruise was forming and so, she opened her mouth, trying to rotate her jaw and stretch the compromised flesh for some relief. Blood was pooling on the ground beneath him and his hands were now almost completely red. Undoubtedly unsettled and enraged by his likeness to her attacker, she found a sinister satisfaction in bringing the tip of her arrow close to his right eye.

“You wanna rethink that, buddy?” She smirked.

Tears filled the mans terrified eyes and his shoulders were visibly shaking. Jess was sure that if anyone had told her she was capable of frightening a grown man to such an extent she would have thought them to be crazy, but there she was, holding a scared man hostage for information and refusing, point blank to back down.

“S-she’s alive” He croaked; his voice hoarse from her earlier jab at his throat. Initially, she’d been dismayed to find that she’d not hit him hard enough to make him vomit, just like Abraham had told her would happen if enough force was applied. But if she’d been graced with such an occurrence, she would end up talking to herself due to the high likelihood of her having killed him.

“How many of you are there?” she demanded as she watched the tip of her arrow wave around in front of his pupil.

“A hun-hundred or, or so. Not- not all here.” He admitted. His skin was starting to grey from the blood loss and voices could be heard nearing them from the street. Jess knew her time was running out.

“You all know each other? How can you tell who’s from your group and who’s not?” She pressed, jutting the arrow closer still. He closed his eyes briefly and she witnessed his chest spring up and down as he panted in fear.

“Too many of us to know everybody. We’re-we’re branded. My hand. But you-you don’t stand a chance alone.” He managed to say as he pulled back his leather jacket sleeve.

Jess wasn’t about to be that easily distracted and so, her eyes darted down to where he held his hand out and she noted the circular symbol seared into his flesh. Angry and new, even bordering on infection.

“Where would they be keeping the girl?” She asked.

“You’ll never get out alive.” He warned her.

“Where are they keeping her?!” She hissed, leaning further over him and making a show of pulling the bows strings back further. The weapon creaked and the man startled.

“The d-dorm rooms.”

“See? Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” She snipped sarcastically with a tilt of her head. Anger rose in the man’s eyes and his brow furrowed.

“Fuck you, bitch.” He spat. Saliva sprayed from his mouth, attaching to the scruff of his short beard. “You’re dead. You hear me. Fucking dead!”

Half of Jess wanted to just shut him up, but the other half had one more, key thing that she needed to know and she wasn’t about to let it drop. With mere seconds to spare before she was found by the others, she placed a boot on the man’s chest and kicked him backwards until his back hit the ground. He yelped in discomfort and the wound across his stomach oozed with yet more blood. It hit her that if she didn’t kill him and fast, he would die anyway and she would have to relinquish the gratification of putting him down herself.

“Did you have a brother?” She questioned as she towered over him with her bow still aimed at his eye.

“W-what?”

“You deaf as well as stupid? I said, did you have a brother?”

“Yeah… he’s dead…why?”

There it was, all the confirmation she needed that this violent but uniquely justified act would not only benefit their cause of freeing Enid, but it would also serve as revenge and closure for a trauma that was bestowed upon Jess and had festered around her, eating away at her sanity ever since. Now, she was finally able to move on.

“No reason.” She shrugged.

Releasing the arrow wasn’t the difficult part. It was having to stomach the nauseating process of carving the branded skin from the back of his hand so quickly that she ended up dragging tendons and nerves with her in a disgusting trail of red. As soon as her prize detached from his body, she turned and dunked it in an empty plant pot of stagnant water before running as fast as her legs would carry her. Gunshots from behind shocked her into moving even faster and she all but ran through the back fence and into the yard of a house in the next street. Wood and debris flew everywhere as she began to hack at the barrier with her machete, creating a hole big enough to crawl through.

From his vantage point behind the huge truck, Daryl had managed to put down two men that had noticed his whereabouts with bolts to the brain before they could even speak. But the sudden arrival of crossbow bolts out of the blue meant that the enemy was now scurrying around the compound like a group of frightened mice, all yelling at one another and trying to figure out where the offending shots had originated from. He’d missed a couple of attempts, much to his annoyance. Unable to retrieve them as he usually did, he was running out and fast.

His mind was not far from Jess. The gunshots he’d heard replayed over and over in his head. The thought of her getting hurt or killed literally made his legs feel weak and his chest throb with despair. But he had to believe that she would be fine, she would have it no other way and if she knew how much he’d fretted, she would not hesitate to tell him off in the strange, quirky way she always did. In fact, he couldn’t wait until the next time she did.

He waited for a chance to run, a gap in the pandemonium that would enable him to run to the building with the low windows and duck behind the bushes and wooden boxes stacked outside. From where he was, it looked like the fire exit to the dormitory building. With so many rooms to search inside, Daryl knew he had his work cut out. But it also meant that once inside, he had plenty of places to hide and use for cover.

Boots crossed the space in front of the truck and he dipped his head, monitoring their progress as they moved swiftly towards the gate. The light was fading fast and unless he moved in the next few minutes, they would be battling against the night as well as the enemy. He backed up and rounded the back of the truck, peering around the trunk and finding the coast as clear as it was going to be. He sprinted but as soundlessly as possible across the pathways and grass until he finally managed to reach the boxes. Noting the short distance that he would have to cross to get to the fire exit door, he crouched down and immediately noticed the sound of glass smashing in the far distance.

By some miracle and with an aching shoulder, Jess was meters away from the gate but stuck for ideas as to how to get inside and find Daryl. She pushed away the notion that he would be mad at her and figured she would deal with his wrath once they were home and dry. She cast her mind back to their original plan. Distract then sneak. The garage she was hiding behind was the closest unit to the gate that would provide her with enough cover. So, leaving it was not an option, she would have to think up a plan from where she was. Her eyes flitted around the area, at the bushes, the discarded garden tools, the rusty barbeque and the metal ladder.

She froze. The metal ladder. Distract then sneak. Wasting no time, she grabbed the ladder and positioned it against the garage, testing it by applying some weight on one of the rungs with her foot. It held up with enough stability and she climbed up a few steps, just enough to reach the top of the garage and still be hidden behind it. She shuffled on the rung and turned her body while she scanned the scene. Eventually, she did a double take at the roof of a greenhouse in a yard just far enough away to buy her some time. She carefully unhooked her bow and selected an arrow, aiming with less precision than she would have liked. But when the arrow shattered the greenhouses roof and sent a smashing sound echoing from the houses, the crash bouncing from walls and rising into the air, she smiled and quickly descended the ladder.

She strained to hear but there was no doubt that the tell tale sounds of her pursuers were all running to the distraction instead of following her. She had to move or she would lose her chance. She stood up straight, loaded her bow again and stepped out into the street. The first thing she saw was a short, stubby man standing in the middle of the open gate, unarmed and sweating. His hands shakily went up in surrender when he saw her and her bow released. If she thought about too much, she knew she would have talked herself out of it. The arrow flew past him and he flinched and squeezed his eyes closed. She couldn’t help it; she was embarrassed at yet another missed shot.

“Oh, C’mon now!” She growled to herself

He’s a goddamn sitting duck, you got this. You’re not missing three in one day.

His eyes bulged as she took aim again and for the second time, everything slowed and she bared her teeth in anticipation as the arrow flew towards the man. She sighed with relief when it hit him straight in the chest and knocked him backwards. Seizing the precious seconds that she’d earned, she ran at the gate and slowed to a creep as she slipped inside and followed Daryl’s path along the wall in the darkness.

Daryl was racing between the fire exit and the windows of the buildings, trying each one and finding them locked. He cursed under his breath and moved back to the boxes to re-evaluate his method. He’d hoped to gain access to the building and gradually work his way around the college due to having no idea where they would keep Enid and anyone else that they had captured.

“Psst!”

His head snapped up to find Jess laying on the gravel under the armored truck. She waved enthusiastically at him like a kid in a playground and he lifted an eyebrow in disbelief.

Told her to stay outside the fuckin’ walls.

After a brief double take at her, he angrily waved her off, mouthing to her to get back on the outside. She held up a finger to signal that he should wait and wriggled, clunking her bow on the underside of the truck and freezing for a couple of seconds until she was sure no one had noticed. Daryl held his breath and released it in frustration as he witnessed her pull something flesh colored from her jacket pocket and push herself backwards. She got to her feet behind the truck and glanced down at the item in her hand, then over at a perplexed Daryl. Just how was she going to get it over there without attracting the attention of the remaining men, who were now discovering the body of Jess’s latest victim at the gate?

Her arrows rattled at her back as she thought and the noise gave her an idea, albeit a risky one. She pulled an arrow from the quiver and impaled her gift to him onto the point. Then, she raised it up, gripped the feathered end tightly and flung it in Daryl’s direction. Closing her eyes as it left the point in mid-air probably wasn’t her best choice, but the anticipation was killing her and although her aim was a little off, the piece of branded flesh splatted onto the window above Daryl’s head with a thunk.

He startled when he saw it, his face twisting into a grimace as he snatched it from the glass and looked back at Jess with disgust. She held up her hands, slapping one over the back of the other and then pointing to the floppy, cold piece of skin in his grasp. He instantly understood although he was both shocked and impressed at her idea. Placing the wet burn mark over his own hand, he nodded at her and received an excitable thumbs up. Now, he just had to gain entry to the building. He lifted an arm and pushed at the glass of the window above him but it didn’t budge. Jess’s brain was working on overtime and she glanced around the compound, needing something to create another distraction with. Her eyes landed on the dark puddle on the ground a couple of metres away from the small gathering of what looked like six men by the entrance to the main building. Its slick, technicolor, rainbow effect shone in the beam from the floodlights.

That’s Gasoline.

It was a considerable distance away but she was faced with no choice, it was either try or Daryl would have to find another way in and risk getting caught. From her jacket pocket, she fished out a flare, popped the cap off and used the striking surface of the cap to light it. Then, she stepped out from behind the truck and chucked the flare along the floor as hard as she could, as if she was throwing a bowling ball. It skittered across the bumpy surface of the college's path and stopped just at the edge of the puddle. Tantalizingly close but not quite close enough. It was a matter of millimetres and Jess curled her hands into fists and growled through her teeth. Her luck seemed to be running out.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

She slumped back against the back of the truck and noticed Daryl watching the puddle with great interest. He slowly turned his head to her and held up a hand as he mouthed the words ‘just wait’.

Above the humming, murmuring of the conversation going on by the gate, all Jess could hear was her own labored breathing. She was out of ideas, having exhausted her one, last shot at getting Daryl safely into the building undetected. Or so she thought, until a hiss and a pop followed by a rush of air pulled her from her negativity. She spun around and peeked around the truck. The puddle had caught fire and the flames were rapidly growing. It worked.

She ripped the pistol from her waistband and quickly checked it over. Fully loaded. Safety off. Keeping her body flat to the back of the vehicle, she pointed the gun at the group, who were now all staring at the flames in bafflement and asking each other where the hell the flare had come from. She started firing, sending them all into a frenzy as bullets whizzed past their heads and they ran for cover. Deliberately, she aimed at windows of nearby buildings with the intention of causing as much noise as possible. With the puddle of gasoline raging and the men all panicked and seeking cover, with glass shattering all around them and no idea where the gunfire was originating from, Jess quickly put a few bullets in the window above Daryl, enough to smash most of the pane. He sprang to his feet and managed to climb inside but Jess was in no doubt that his hands would be cut to ribbons. With her work done, she sighed with relief and backed into the shadows and bushes behind the gate. Now, it was down to him.

Then, she felt like a spare part. She counted four remaining men altogether when the three that had been following her outside finally arrived back inside the walls. She was too far away to hear their discussion, but they were still on high alert with two skulking back and forth around the inside of the wall. She ducked under the bushes to avoid the flashlights of their rifles and tried to figure out how she would handle it if one of them was to find her. But she quickly realized that her only chance and it was a slim one, was to fight with her machete and knife. Face to face. She was under no illusions that their foe was as wise as the world was flat, but she still wasn’t going to risk hand to hand combat with four, armed men. Not willing to partake in such a suicide mission, she kept still and quiet and willed Daryl to re-emerge with Enid in tow so they could work their way out of there together.

It felt like forever. Like hours and days had passed with her boots sinking into the mud between the bushes. The distinct lack of Daryl during the uncomfortable wait gave her a tiny sense of what it might be like if he wasn’t in her life anymore. She’d be waiting. All the time. Waiting for him to return but he never would. She shivered at the thought and shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her limbs beginning to numb from having to stay in the same place for so long.

In reality, it was around ten minutes when Daryl finally reappeared with Enid and was soon shoving her through the smashed window. Pleased to see that she was still dressed in her usual attire and seemed to be relatively untouched save for a black eye, Jess gestured wildly for her to cross the short distance from the bushes to the truck. With a quick check in each direction, Enid shot out from the leaves and was grabbed by Jess on the other side who quickly wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her tight. At her back, she could sense her jacket being gripped in the young girls’ hands, so tightly that she thought she might tear a hole in the leather. Her relief at seeing her rescuers had prompted tears to fill her eyes and Jess’s were threatening to do the same until she clocked Daryl climbing from the window with what looked like a rocket strapped to his back. She gradually eased Enid apart from her torso and gawped at the sight.

“Enid?” She whispered but in a high-pitched chirp.

“Yeah?”

“Is that a…a Rocket Launcher on Daryl’s back?”

“Yeah. He found the weapons room.”

“Huh. Sweet.” Jess huffed in amusement. “Nothing like an RPG to add some more Drama.”

Equipping his crossbow, Daryl began firing bolts at anyone he could see and Jess stepped in to help without question. She coaxed Enid behind her and told her to stay there with Daryl also adding that she should move when they do as they closed in on the gate, using more boxes and vehicles for cover. Catching his eye as he reloaded his crossbow with his foot in the stirrup, he hauled the strings back and clicked them into place.

“Go, I’ll cover you. Get her to the car.” He panted.

She didn’t want to leave him and everything in her told her to stay by his side but she had a duty to Enid and if anything was to happen to her, the whole thing would have been in vain. Too many people had died at the hands of the brainless but still dangerous group and she couldn’t let Enid become another number on their kill list. Daryl could handle himself, she was certain of that, but it still didn’t stop the churning worry in her heart that if she left him, something bad could happen. She looked over the boxes shielding her and started to count more assailants filtering out from the buildings.

They’re like ants. They’re everywhere.

He could see her pause and think and flicked an arm out in the direction of the gate, only metres away from where they hid.

“Go, Jess!” He raged at her, snapping her from her overthinking and spurring her on to take hold on Enid’s arm and drag her towards the gate. Bullets narrowly missed them and they kept on, running as fast as possible and trying to keep low until they reached houses and Jess guided Enid to the garage she’d hidden behind before.

“Are you okay? Are you hit?” She gasped.

“N-no.” Enid stuttered.

Then, it was Daryl’s turn. He stood up, shot a bolt through the eye of a man standing dangerously close to him and dropped him in seconds. It was his last bolt. Adrenaline surged in his veins as he made for the gate, sweat dripping into his eyes and soaking his hair. His heart pounded and a short, puff of air grazed his ear. A bullet a hair's breadth away. He pulled a handgun from his belt and could see Jess and Enid emerge from the side of a house; they began hurrying along in front of him with wide eyes glimpsing back at him.

He stopped and turned back, fearlessly eliminating two more men who came rushing at him. Despite the chaos, his shots were steady and accurate, his aim impeccable. He silently thanked his lucky stars that he had a brother like Merle, who insisted on shooting everything in sight with whatever weapons they could get their hands on. He switched the gun for the RPG across his body and yelled at the top of his lungs for Jess and Enid to keep running. He sucked in a deep breath and hauled the weapon onto his shoulder, noticing four more men intent on killing him. Upon realizing the grave danger that they were about to be put in, they immediately stopped and started running in the other direction, screaming a horrified chorus of ‘fall back!’ and ‘RPG!’. Daryl slowly released his breath and pulled the trigger. The weapon popped and whooshed and fire exploded in front of him. He staggered but remained upright enough to find that he’d hit the main building and the propane canisters stacked at the entrance, sending a booming cloud of dust, flames and debris spiraling into the sky. A shockwave rumbled across the ground, meaning Jess and Enid plummeted onto the road's surface and skidded harshly along the gritty floor.

Daryl also hit the deck but was soon on his feet and whirling around, his eyes wide and searching for her.

“Jess?!”

From the gutter, Jess stuck a hand in the air and Enid groaned next to her, rolling over onto her back and holding her head.

“I’m here. I think” Jess moaned.

Hands took hold of her jacket and heaved her upright, her legs buckled and she clung to him, her eyes blinking the grit away and making out his blurry figure.

“Y’alright?” He rasped.

“Well…my eyebrows don’t hurt.” She croaked.

Enid got to her feet and brushed her clothing down. She swapped a worried look with Daryl and slid her hand under Jess’s forearm. She flinched when the crack of gunfire interrupted her attempt to bring Jess back to her senses.

“Go! Run!” Daryl ordered.

One more man stepped out from the gate amongst the smoke and falling cloud of grey and let rip with a high-powered rifle. The sound cracked through Jess’s already timid ears and prodded the now increasingly growing ball of fury that was sitting tight in her chest. Daryl returned fire as best he could but Jess was reaching the end of her tether. Her arm was being yanked in one direction by Enid who was imploring her to follow while she used cars and trash cans as cover. A brief halt in the shooting slowed everything down for Jess and she let her impulsivity take over, no longer able to fight it.

He’s reloading.

She grasped at her bow and stepped out from behind a car, swiftly nocking an arrow and drawing the strings back. Daryl’s heart all but stopped when he lay eyes on her. The woman he cared about, standing in the middle of the street and open to attack.

“No! Jess! What are ya doin?!” He cried. He ran at her with every intention of bundling her back behind the empty car, but she released the arrow and he stopped, his boots skidding slightly. He slowly turned his head to find the man in the gateway falling backwards with Jess’s arrow firmly embedded right between his Eyes. Suddenly snapping out of her determined trace, her mouth fell open and she stared in astonishment at what was an incredibly accurate shot.

“C’mon. We gotta get outta here.” Daryl urged from her side. His fingertips grazed the arm of her jacket.

“Did you see that shot?!” She asked in amazement “Did you see that amazing shot?!”

“Really, Jess?! You want me to throw ya a damn party?!” he exclaimed in frustration “We gotta get outta here. Walkers will be comin’ in for miles around ‘cause of the racket we made.” He wandered off, mumbling to a scared and confused Enid to follow him.

“But that was some Hawkeye shit right there” Jess mumbled blankly to herself while following on, disappointed at the lack of credit she’d received for such a movie-worthy shot.

At the end of the street, they took a left and Daryl was happy to see that the car they’d borrowed from Alexandria was still parked at the sidewalk and didn’t appear to have any smashed windows. Carl would still be in one piece. He wondered how he was going to explain it all away to Rick when he returned and figured that his best bet was honesty, although it would get the kid into trouble, it was his own responsibility to deal with his dishonesty. It was something Daryl had to do as far back as he could remember. He had no one to bail him out of anything if Merle was in prison or away with the military. It was how he’d grown and evolved into the kind of person that looked out for himself and relied on no one.

A yelp from Jess’s left saw her spinning around to find Enid being held by a skinny, dirty, long haired man with hardly any teeth. He had his arm around her throat and a gun pointed to the side of her head. She didn’t struggle or move, but Jess could see the terror in her eyes when a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek. The man was grinning maniacally from ear to ear, flashing his gappy smile and striking a sinister fear into Jess’s heart. She’d seen this kind of smile before, in horror movies and on Halloween masks. The reality of it being ten times worse. A shiver ran down her spine.

“Daryl” She whispered, seeing him stop and turn in her peripheral vision.

“You’re not taking her. She belongs to us. Finders, Keepers.” The man told them. Spittle sprayed from his mouth and Enid grimaced when he pushed his face to the side of her head and smelt her hair.

“I’ma wipe that shit-eatin’ grin off ya face” Daryl warned, raising his gun.

The man began to laugh. A throaty, mucus-filled laugh that seemed to boom through the trees and surrounding area. It made Jess nauseous to think of how bad he must smell, right next to Enid’s face.

“It’s alriiight!” He chuckled. “I’ll just kill her, then. Take this one instead.” He nudged his head up at Jess. Her stomach bubbled with bile and she could literally see Daryl’s body tense with rage.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you” He growled.

“You and your little town. Over there with your precious women and your food and medicine. Y’all think you got it made. But y’all are gonna die. We’re all infected. Every last one of us. So why not have a little fun bef-”

The red mist descended and Jess’s vision blurred with crimson tones. It was almost dark but it wasn’t the lack of light that was hindering her. Her ears rang and she thought her eardrum had burst. Everything was muffled. Daryl’s voice, Enid’s voice. Her eyes lowered to the ground and she blinked the red away to find the man’s headless body slumped over her shoes. She swallowed and regained her hearing, shakily stepping back away from the body.

“Carl?!” She heard Daryl gasp.

She looked up and sure enough, Carl was standing there with a shotgun in his hands, his chest heaving and his mouth open. Enid threw herself at him, knocking the gun to one side and wrapping her arms around him. He dropped the gun and slowly raised his hands, placing them on her back and blinking in shock.

I’ll be damned. Kid blew the guys fucking brains out. Jess thought.

Daryl swooped over to Jess, his hands brushing her hood back and her mask down and picking leaves and twigs from her hair. Her face was covered with the spray of blood from Carl’s unexpected head shot.

“Close ya eyes.” He told her. She complied, now too exhausted to complain and totally done with the day altogether. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into her bed and once the adrenaline worse off, she was sure she would sleep for a week. He gently smoothed his thumbs and forefingers over her eyelids, ridding her of the wet, coppery substance. His eyes stopped on the swelling under her eye and across her cheekbone where she’d been backhanded and he was surprised to find that emotion knotted in every part of him.

Somebody hit her. Somebody hit Jess. My Jess.

“Open ya eyes.” He rasped.

There he was, the man that wiped her tears, held her at night and protected her from nightmares, cleaned mud from her body, checked her for wounds and rubbed blood from her face. His eyes were filled with concern and his bottom lip was shaking ever so slightly.

“You good?”

She was tired and shocked and had seen enough death and violence for one day. She was sure that the events of the last hour would stay with her forever but the last thing she wanted at that point, was to fill him with more concern.

“Mm...I’m…dandy.” She mumbled.

Through their whole exchange, Enid had refused to let go of Carl, who was now enveloping her in a bear hug and gently swaying from side to side, whispering in her ear and stroking her long ponytail. Daryl’s shoulders relaxed and he sighed, holding back a smile at such a sweet sight. It was what Carl had wanted all along, the chance to save her, to protect her and comfort her. Daryl understood, mainly because he wanted the same for Jess. He briefly looked at her, finally letting himself smile when he noticed her beaming at the two hugging teenagers like a proud parent.

Eventually, Jess managed to prize Enid away and took her to the car, sitting her in the back seat and signalling to Daryl that she needed a minute alone with her. He didn’t need to ask why, figuring that Enid had been in the clutches of a violent and dangerous group of men and as a female, there were certain questions that needed to be asked as soon as possible. He wandered over to Carl, receiving a sheepish look.

“What did I tell you, Carl?” He asked while scanning the street around them.

“Stay in the Car.” Carl replied sadly.

“That’s right. And what did you not do?”

“Stay in the car.”

“Yup.”

“I’m sorry” Carl offered sincerely. Daryl lit a smoke after delighting in the fact that the packet hadn’t been completely squashed in his pocket from all the action. He exhaled heavily and Carl watched the bluish smoke rise into the air above him.

“Good job, kid.” Daryl said. The look on the Grime’s boy’s face was an absolute picture, pure confusion laced with a little trepidation. He didn’t dare smile just yet, unsure of weather or not Daryl was luring him into a false sense of security. Instead, he stayed still and stared at him.

“What?” he squeaked.

“Saved her life.” Daryl pointed out.

The realization hit him and he exhaled, rubbing at his forehead under his sheriffs’ hat. His hair was scraggly and wet from his profuse sweating. Psychologically, it was no easy feat to blow someone’s head clean off with a shotgun at close range.

“Thanks,” he said with a small laugh.

“You tell her ya like her yet?” Daryl inquired with a step closer to him.

“No,” Carl admitted.

“Hmm”. Daryl hummed thoughtfully. “Alright. Well, just so ya know; if you pull this shit again, I’ma rat you out to the girl.”

His face dropped and worry crossed his features. He slowly shook his head and prepared to beg Daryl to keep his mouth shut, stopping only when he saw a smirk form on his lips.

“I’m just playin’, man.” He sniggered. “I’m serious though, you do this again n’ I will make ya life pretty difficult. You gotta be safe. You don’t know how much it’d mess ya ol’ man up if he lost ya. And um…and me. It’d mess me up too.”

Carl, having grown up way faster than he should have done and being wise beyond his years, was not without his faults. But Daryl respected the courage he possessed and his willingness to help others. He was most definitely his father’s son and the traits that shone in Carl were everything that Daryl admired in Rick. He could only hope to one day be the kind of man that could lead a group, now a community, like Rick did. Carl stuck his hand out, offering to solidify his promise and Daryl accepted, shaking his hand and nodding towards the car.

Jess stood with her arms crossed and her mask and hood down at the trunk of the car when Daryl placed the rocket launcher inside along with his crossbow. He kept his gun in his waistband and slammed the trunk shut. Unable to avoid her piercing gaze, he finished his smoke, flicked it away and raised his eyebrows at her.

“What’cha lookin’ at?”

“As if things weren’t exciting enough for you, you show up with that big, spicy weapon.”

“Like the guy said; finders, keepers.” He shrugged.

She leaned forwards with her gloved hands on the trunk and grinned at him, ignoring the Walkers that were starting to filter out between the houses towards the fire at the college. He could tell that she was working up to tease him or provoke him into an exchange of jest and after the day they’d had, he welcomed the change in conversation. She inspected his scratched and cut arms, remembering that he must have cut his hands and making a mental note to check them when they had a chance to breathe.

“You’re just a redneck glitter bomb of glory, aintcha?” she chuckled, suddenly remembering a phrase that Abraham had said to her in the armory one afternoon. “Ain't nothin’ like a man with a great, big…gun, Daryl.”

He scoffed and shyly nibbled on his lower lip, rocking back slightly on his heels. He searched his mind for an appropriate flirtatious comment to throw back at her but everything that presented itself was either too ‘Merle-like’ and graphic or not witty enough and so, he endured his reddened cheeks and burning ears and simply laughed bashfully at her.

“Get in the car, girl.”

The night was black. A velvet canopy across the sky with twinkling diamonds. The lack of street lighting meant the world, or what was left of it, was now able to appreciate the stars and planets on show unlike ever before. It was unfortunate that it took a global catastrophe for those still alive to take the time to look up and contemplate how small and insignificant the earth is in such a vast and complex universe.

It was Enid that asked to stop and camp somewhere for the night. She admitted she hadn’t eaten for almost twelve hours and the trembling of her hands corroborated her claim. Jess pulled the car into a gap in the trees on a country road, bumping it over the terrain as far into the woods as she could go, until the dense trees stopped her from being able to conceal the car from the road anymore. They set up camp, using the tree trunks to lean against and lighting a fire with which they used to heat up tins of pasta and beans that were stashed in every car and truck in Alexandria, just in case. Daryl fashioned a Walker alert system from string and metal trash items from the side of the road. Tins, parts of alloys, plastic bottles and bags would make enough noise to alert them if anything undead, or alive for that matter decided to walk through their camp. He’d picked off a couple of Walkers from the surrounding area while scouting for any danger but saw no other signs of disturbance. They were safe for the time being, but they would have to keep their wits about them and take it in turns to sleep.

Jess was leaning against the car, watching Carl and Enid talk in hushed tones when Daryl returned from scouting their surroundings.

“Should be safe enough.” He announced.

“Good. I’ll take first watch” She suggested. “Can I…Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Her request seemed to catch him off guard and his mind raced at the possible subjects she may want to discuss. He nodded and gestured to the dark clearing behind the car where they’d driven in. They walked a few feet away, out of earshot to Carl and Enid and Daryl told himself that going forward, such private conversations were likely to be taxing and emotional when he thought of how far their relationship had progressed.

She awkwardly tapped her thigh in front of him. He said nothing, allowing her to work up to whatever she wanted to say. Multiple times, she opened her mouth to speak only to find that nothing happened and she recoiled back into herself, huffing and screwing her face up. She knew what she wanted to say, but there was just no easy way of saying it.

I love you. I could have lost you today. I need you to know that I love you.

Suddenly, words didn’t seem enough to convey the depths of her true feelings for him. Not knowing what else to do, she closed the gap between them and slid her arms around his middle, turning her head and pushing the side of her face against his chest. He smelled of sweat and leather and nicotine, but it was just the way she liked him. Loved him. Just the way he was. His body tensed initially but she soon heard him swallow hard and position his arms around her shoulders. She closed her eyes when he rested his chin against the side of her head. It could have all been over in a second, all it would have taken was a shot. One shot in the wrong place and one of them could have been dead. The other forced to go on without the one person they truly cared for more than anyone else.

“Sorry.” She said against his leather vest. He dropped his arms and she broke away from him but he held onto her hand, lightly clutching her fingertips.

“No” He whispered “I needed that as much as you.”

She offered him a feeble smile. It was all she could do to stop herself from planting a risky and dangerous kiss on him with Carl and Enid in such close proximity. She couldn’t even be sure if they’d been rumbled by Carl earlier that day, the last thing they needed was for Enid to catch them as well.

Daryl dropped her hand but she refused to move back anymore. She traced the edge of his vest with her fingertips, slowly moving them up, then down again.

“That was some pretty cool shit back there, Rambo.” She told him.

“Thanks. You too. The skin thing, the branding. Got me in and past four guys before they realized it wasn’t mine. Good thinkin’. And that shot ya took…was badass.” He confessed. Her heart leapt. He did appreciate it. After all, he’d taught her how to use her bow and how to fight, the reason she’d fared so well in what was a chaotic and dangerous situation was because Daryl had taught her. If she really wanted to ponder the scale of things, she would have been dead many times over if he hadn’t told her how to kill Walkers, hunt and skin animals and fight with a knife.

“I know” She shrugged ”it was nothing.” He chuckled under his breath at her and stopped instantly when the corners of her mouth dropped and she hesitantly peered up at him.

“Do I, uh…do I really piss you off?” She wanted to know.

Guilt swept over him. She’d remembered something that he’d long forgotten. He always took pride in his code, part of which was only saying the things he meant, but Jess had changed him and he found her both captivating and able to irritate him easier than anybody else ever had. He’d heard Rick talk about how Lori used to be the only person that could rouse such rage in him, but he’d explained that it stemmed from the ones we’re closest to being the ones that can truly press our buttons. Jess got under his skin without him even realizing it but he would have it no other way. For the most part, she was a ray of sunshine in his dark and dreary existence, a sign of hope and her sense of humor was uniquely able to penetrate his hardened exterior. He hadn’t meant what he’d carelessly thrown at her in the car and he promised himself to make more of a marked effort to stick by his own code.

“Sometimes.” He confessed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Nah, you’re like math.”

“Math?” She questioned skeptically.

“Yeah. Difficult at times, but worth gettin’ to know.” He explained.

Jess laughed and playfully nudged him in the arm, being careful not to aggravate any of the many cuts and bruises he’d acquired.

“That is a backhanded compliment if ever I heard one but I will take it.” She grinned.

Enid slept as soundly as possible using Jess’s backpack as a pillow and the casual clothes from inside it as a blanket. Daryl set about finding wood and carving arrows across from Jess, with the fire in-between them with the odd, tension laden glance swapped between them. She got butterflies in her stomach every time he looked over the flames at her with his steely blue eyes and his serious expression and when Carl plonked himself down cross-legged beside her, she was happy for the distraction. Getting caught drooling over Daryl was not in her plan for the evening.

The space either side of the fire was not wide enough for conversations now to be overheard by accident, but Jess kept her voice to a whisper nonetheless and leaned towards Carl.

“Why’d you go all Steve Rogers on me?” She demanded.

“Huh?”

“You told Daryl what I said about him when I asked you not to. That was supposed to be a covert operation, smart-ass.” She scolded with a slight push of his knee. His face dropped when he remembered his lapse and the breaking of her trust. He hadn’t intended to disclose anything secret, rather Daryl had dragged it out of him and he found himself talking and regretting every word.

“I didn’t mean to. It just came out. Sorry.” He pleaded.

“It’s fine. It’s done now. He knows.” She informed him with a quick peep at Daryl, who was busy holding up an arrow in the light of the fire and painstakingly carving it to perfection. “It was horribly embarrassing and yes, I hope you feel guilty.”

“Hey, even Steve Rodgers makes mistakes.” He pointed out.

Much to her disgust, he did have a point. Captain America did indeed, make mistakes. But not many and he made up for it by saving the world.

“Alright, alright, just forget it.” She said, rolling her eyes.

“Did it work?” He hushed at her.

“Hmm? Did what work?”

“Daryl. He knows that you think he’s a good person. Are you guys-”

“-No. No. we are not. That is none of your business anyway.” She confirmed with an awkward clearing of her throat and fidgeting in her spot. “Change the subject.”

“Okay…um…Who’s your favorite Superhero? Don’t say Vision, we already discussed him.” He instructed smugly.

Jess thought for a moment, and found herself observing Daryl across the glow of the fire. She liked the way he furrowed his brow when he concentrated and applied such focus and intensity to his task. It was the same way he’d given her his undivided attention when he helped her to wash the mud from her skin after dislocating her shoulder. In turn, this prompted her to remember all of the things he’d done for her, from fetching her a pack of pens on a run to staying by her side and allowing her to sleep in his arms to quieten her dreams. In the real world, Daryl Dixon was her favorite superhero.

“Bucky Barnes.” She said confidently.

“The Winter Soldier? Interesting” Carl mused. “More of an anti-hero, though.”

“Nah-uh” Jess disagreed with a shake of her head. She picked up a twig and began drawing in the dust as she spoke, starting with a circle, followed by a star in the middle “Bucky was a victim of Hydra. He was a good man but through no fault of his own was turned into someone he didn’t want to be. Yeah, he did bad things but he was brainwashed and didn’t know any better.” Through the circle in the dust she began to draw lines, horizontally across and stepped in the middle. Carl listened intently. “Once he was out of the control of the bag guys, he was able to choose and he chose to be good. He was hard on himself for his past, sure. But the people that loved him knew who he really was and what he was forced to do. He didn’t have the best childhood either, and that can have a big effect on a person’s morals…their code. Come out the other side of that a decent person and you only have yourself to thank. Nobody else.”

Without Jess’s knowledge, Daryl could hear everything and he glanced up from his task, seeing Carl leaning towards her, enthralled by her interpretation of a misunderstood character and his eyes transfixed on the symbol she was drawing on the ground. Under the guise of carving arrows, Daryl continued to lend an ear to the revealing explanation she had to offer. For some reason, he felt exposed and uncomfortable listening to her talk about what made a person good, despite their past.

“I feel like he spent a lot of time running from his past and that’s something a lot of us can relate to. Especially now.” She finished up her dust drawing and Carl titled his head, giving the image of The Winter Soldier’s symbol an affirming nod. “Also, he’s very nice to look at” She chuckled. “Those blue eyes just drew me right in.”

“More of a Black Widow fan myself.” Carl chimed in with a smile.

“Gotcha” She winked.

Carl occupied himself for the next minute by drawing more Marvel character symbols in the dust and scuffing them out with his boot. When he dropped the twig and looked over at Enid, his gaze lingered there as he observed the sleeping girls face and the way her pain seemed to dissipate when she was lulled into a slumber.

“You think she’ll be okay?” He asked Jess.

“Yeah, with us watching over her. Sure.” She assured him. “They didn’t touch her. Aside from the black eye to knock her out. We were just in time. She’s still working through some stuff though. I heard she watched her parents die. Some things never get easier to live with”

She heard a faint hum of agreement from him and dragged her bow across the ground towards her, resting it across both of their legs and taking out a piece of rag from her inside pocket. She grit her teeth as she put all her effort into ripping it into two halves, successfully managing to separate it and handing him one half. Wordlessly, she began dusting and buffing the frame of the bow at one end, with Carl soon following her actions at the other.

“I watched my mom die too.” Carl mumbled.

Once again, Daryl slowly lifted his head, this time staring at Carl through his hair. He’d never heard him talk about his mother before, even when Daryl had offered up his experience of his own mother's death to convey that no matter how painful it was, it is possible to live with it and that Carl wouldn’t be alone. Even then, he hadn’t witnessed Carl actively surrender such information, not to Rick, not to him. Not to anyone. Apparently, Jess had the knack for encouraging people to talk to her.

“You did?” She gently asked.

“When she was giving birth to Judith… I had to shoot her”

Jess closed her eyes for a second and tried to fathom the amount of strength it must have taken for a kid to come to terms with having to go through with such a horrendous act. She didn’t think anyone should have to endure the terrors that the apocalypse brought, least of all children. She placed her hand over his.

“Y’know, your mom, wherever she is, is super proud of you. Everybody always says the same thing; ‘we’ve all lost people’…but it’s okay to miss her.” She soothed.

“You miss your family?” He asked.

“Everyday.” She smiled, remembering their faces and their quirks. The places they’d lived, their individual laughs and personalities. She missed them terribly but they were always there, carried in her heart and sharing a piece of her soul and as long as she lived, so would they.

“I wish Judith didn’t have to grow up without a mom. She would have loved her, a lot.” He sighed sadly.

“You should talk to her about your mom.” She proposed “As she gets older, you could tell her things. What she liked, what made her laugh and smile, the trips you went on, the memories you made.” She gently pat his hand and resumed her dusting of the bows frame.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He contemplated. “Then, they’ll be like her memories too. I like that. What do you remember about your mom?”

Jess chuckled to herself and looked up at the trees, casting her mind back to before the turn. In the days when everyone was safer and happier than they realized.

“Well, she was five foot nothing and I remember my brother was getting on her nerves one day. She tried to yell at him, but even as a teenager he was so tall in comparison that it was like watching her yell at a bird in the sky. My dad lifted her right up and put her on a chair so that she could scold him face to face.”

Carl giggled animatedly and Jess’s vision swung over to Daryl, who was looking intently at her with the faintest curve of his lips.

“Hey, Carl?” Daryl called out. “Should sit right here, next to her.” He got up from the ground and gathered his knife and I carved pieces of wood. Rounding the fire he looked down at Carl. “Should be there for her when she wakes up”

With that, Carl said nothing but quickly switched places with Daryl, who settled down next to Jess.

“Somebody hit you” he mentioned, much to Jess’s surprise. Her hand instinctively went to the tender patch of skin along her cheekbone and she thought she may well have a matching shiner with Enid.

“Yeah. It’s nothing though. It’ll fade.” She brushed off.

”You kill him?” He wanted to know.

“Yeah.” She replied solemnly. Killing wasn’t something that would ever sit well with her, even if it was a case of them or her. It was a part of survival, but that didn’t make it any easier.

“Don’t feel bad,” he said “I know you. You feel bad. If you hadn't killed him, I would have. I’ll kill any motherfucker that touches you.”

She didn’t respond. Partly due to having no idea how to. Was he saying this because he had genuine, romantic feelings for her? Or, was it just Daryl being protective of someone he saw as his one, close friend? The close friend that he kissed. Jess contemplated the fact that even though a conversation had been instigated and awkwardly discussed, she still was no closer to finding out exactly how he saw her and until then, she was still treading a kind of of tightrope that meant the difference between plummeting into disappointment or balancing on a wire of uncertainty. She knew that she loved him and that was not going to change, but would she ever be able to love him the way she wanted to, the way she needed to? Out in the open with no shame and no secrets. Only time and even more patience would tell.

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Masterlist

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tagging as requested

@lilred254 @woundmetender @lonewolf471

#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around - Chapter 27

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 29/?

Three weeks was a long time for Jess when her movement was severely restricted and everything that she did had to be managed with one arm while she became almost fanatical about doing physio exercises to coax her shoulder back to its original strength. Daryl had become her shadow, only leaving her for a couple of hours at a time and it was becoming very evident to her that his continual presence was beginning to grate on her nerves as well as convincing her that she was a huge burden on his life. She knew he was doing it because he cared, because he didn’t want to see her injure herself further and also because she’d heard him mutter to himself that it was all his fault in the first place. At any other time, Jess would have been ecstatic to be able to spend so much time with him but guilt was playing a huge part in Daryl’s actions and she couldn’t stand the thought of him blaming himself for what was essentially, an accident. She had tried and failed to get him to at least go back to Alexandria during the daytime, but he wouldn’t hear of it, telling her that he didn’t trust her not to push herself too far. She didn’t argue. He had a point.

During the evenings spent at the diner, they often went about their own business without the need to fill the silence with chatter. She would journal, spending her time doodling over writing the long paragraphs that harked back to her past. Daryl would carve arrows or make fishing weights while she witnessed how good he was with his hands from the other side of the room. Occasionally, they would indulge in fiercely competitive card games or would simply sit back and play ‘never have I ever’ with the short supply of orange juice that was rationed from Alexandria. It was a game that set Jess’s teeth on edge for fear of being asked something so personal that she may feel the need to lie. But it never happened and for that, she was grateful.

The nights were as peaceful as they could be, with only the twinges of discomfort in her arm that made her flinch awake. As long as Daryl was there, her nightmares stayed locked behind the barrier he’d created between her reality and that of her trauma. He slept beside her, keeping a small distance between them unless she worked her way into it and ended up flush against his body with her face buried in his arm. He didn’t stop her or dare try to move her, such a small and seemingly common situation for anyone else meaning so much more to him that it calmed his inner chaos as much as it did hers.

She wouldn’t have called it arguing as much, but being in such close proximity all the time meant that it was inevitable that they would discover things about one another that caused friction. But their frayed tempers never crossed the line into full-on conflict and Daryl had to admit that he sometimes liked digging at her and watching her irritation towards him. He would deliberately poke fun at her or use her need to be a stickler for organisation against her by putting her books back in the wrong order, reveling in watching her jut her lower lip out and giving him daggers for even touching them. She was easy to wind up because he knew, after so long, exactly what buttons to push. Although it was highly amusing, it wasn’t a patch on seeing her blush.

Jess wasn’t one to let deliberate teasing slide though and her retaliation to Daryl’s incessant mockery was to hit him with the one thing he couldn’t stand; someone telling him how to do something. Her need to continue training, albeit gently gave her the perfect opportunity to throw pointless comments at him.

“A bird could swoop down and rip that thing right off if you don’t put your tongue away when you aim.” She would quip from the side lines of her training ground. His jaw tightened and his face turned stony but still, she persisted.

“Keep your fingers still on that knife handle. Dang. It’s not a frickin’ accordion.”

Quite clearly, he was discovering that he wasn’t the only one to get enjoyment out of merciless tomfoolery and maybe, just maybe, he’d met his match.

Yes, three weeks was a long time for Jess. Especially when Daryl made no further attempts to kiss her and as a result, lured her into a head-space in which she’d convinced herself that the whole thing had been a lapse of judgement. That he really did just want to be her friend and nothing more. The worst part was the voice in the back of her mind that prodded at her self-esteem, goading her into believing that it was because he’d seen her with hardly any clothes on and so, the sight of her curvaceous shape and awkward conduct had turned him off completely. But she still caught him staring at her. An act that she was not completely innocent of herself and she wished and wished that it meant he was building up to making a move that, to her sadness, never happened.

At the end of the third week they trudged through the searing hot woods towards Alexandria. Everywhere she looked, Jess could almost see the heat rising in blurry waves all around them, as though they were walking through a mirage that the canopy of trees overhead did little to stifle. She talked mindlessly, paying little attention to the words that came from her mouth, her focus mainly being on her destination and how she would get there without boiling to death in the heat.

“You don’t have to stay with me anymore y’know. I’m fine. It’s been three weeks. If my arm was going to fall off, I’m pretty sure it would have happened by now.”

The crackling of twigs under boots and the swishing of fabric was all of a sudden a lot quieter than before and she smoothed a palm across her forehead and glanced to her side to find Daryl’s eyes firmly locked on hers.

“What is it?” She asked.

He said nothing and to her surprise, stopped walking, sighing deeply and regarding her as if she were some kind of troublesome issue in his life that he didn’t quite know how to handle. His eyes drifted away briefly, only to fall back to her and his hand clutched the strap of his crossbow at his shoulder. His fingers toyed with the frayed fabric and Jess started to feel uncomfortable when he stepped towards her, only to rethink it and step back again.

“Are you okay? What is it?” She pressed, knowing that if Daryl stopped in his tracks in the middle of the woods on a terribly hot day and said nothing, it meant that something was bothering him.

“Nothin’. It’s nothin’.” He grumbled before pushing past her and resuming his path along the dusty woodland floor. Jess flapped her hands by her sides in frustration and broke into a jog. Nearing him, she flung a hand out and slapped it across the left wing of his leather vest. He halted and before he could worm his way out, she skirted around him and defiantly blocked his path.

“Tell me.” She demanded.

She saw his throat ripple from a hard swallow and his eyes narrow in annoyance at being forced to speak when he’d opted not to.

“Told ya. S’nothin’.” He rasped. A response was not needed from Jess, she merely raised one eyebrow in disapproval and rested her hands on her hips. He evaluated the look in her eyes; stubbornness combined with concern.

“Fine” He conceded.

Just say it. Tell her you like staying with her and you don’t want to go back to Alexandria.

“I like…bein’ ‘round you.”

She flinched slightly at his comment, her eyes fluttering as she tried to decipher what he was getting at. Was it as simple as he said, or was there more to it?

“I like being around you too.” She replied.

The truth was, he’d been practically living with her for three weeks but he missed her desperately. He missed her kisses and the way she nuzzled at him and closed her eyes. He missed hearing her breathing change when his lips met hers and the way she held onto him like he might disappear. But hurting her was not an option and if he got too close, closer than he was at that point, the risk was too great. He would only have to step away to protect her from his perceived lack of anything to offer in a romantic capacity.

“I’ll tell Rick I’m comin’ back tonight.” He mumbled, lunging out to the side and storming past her.

“No, Daryl-Daryl, I didn’t mean that you had to go right away, or that you have to go at all. I just thought you might be real tired of me by now.”

He stopped and whirled around, striding up to her and stopping inches from her face. To the outside observer, it appeared like the start of a fight because of the shallow breaths from his nose and the angry vibe that surrounded him. Jess blinked in surprise but didn’t back off, holding her ground and bracing herself for an argument. His mind was jumbled, loud and busy and all he was able to do at that point was act on his impulses.

“I ain't never gonna get tired of you.” He growled at her.

Her mouth opened slowly and she blinked again as she tried to muster the courage to question if there was any truth to his statement if he never kissed her anymore but before she could even think straight, he’d spun back around and had vanished into the trees. All that remained was the faint odor of leather that lingered in her nose and made her wish that she could have the chance to smell the leathery, smoky fragrance of Daryl around her all the time, permanently and without having to question if she was good enough to ever feel the same love that she had for him.

When he arrived at Alexandria, Jess had followed on around five minutes behind him. Careful to allow him his space to simmer down from whatever had triggered his unpredictable mood. The streets were busy with people filtering out of their homes and setting off to their various jobs and Daryl sauntered along the sidewalk, aiming for the Grimes house when he was forced to stop by Glenn and Maggie, wrapped in an embrace in the middle of the sidewalk.

Glenn, who was playfully peppering Maggie’s cheek with kisses, held her close to his armor-clad body. Going on supply runs meant that he made sure to say a proper goodbye to Maggie. No one could ever be sure they would return from outside the walls but it was preferable not to mention such an unwanted outcome. Instead, enthusiastic farewells were the preferable option and Glenn and Maggie were unashamedly proficient at it.

“Wanna pour some Bisquick when I get back?” Glenn hushed at her.

Someone’s been talkin’ to Abe. Daryl thought.

Maggie shot him a confused look and placed a finger over his lips, silencing him from repeating any more of Abraham's crude sexual references. Daryl squirmed with anxiety and lowered his gaze as he approached the very public display of affection.

“You two ever put each other down?” He remarked, digging around in his vest pocket for his cigarettes.

Glenn turned to him with a wide grin on his face and Maggie stepped back in a haze, linking her fingers with his and holding onto his hand with both of hers.

“Happy wife, happy life.” She chuckled

“Maybe you should try it one day.” Glenn suggested with a slight squint against the sun.

Maggie giggled and gently slapped him on the forearm when she saw Daryl scoff and awkwardly shake his head. He didn’t know anything about romance, and realized that by making a careless, throwaway comment, he had somehow entered himself into the second conversation of the morning that he would rather not have.

“Don’t think so” Daryl mumbled, feeling his face turn warm as Jess wandered past on the other side of the street. He saw her do a small double take in the direction of the laughter from Maggie and Glenn and he deliberately averted his gaze, wary that she could be upset with him after his out of the blue admission in the woods. He hoped that they wouldn’t have to concern themselves with the discomfort of a discussion on the topic, but Daryl was learning that while he was just fine with burying his head in the sand, Jess sought answers and so far, he’d managed to avoid the elephant in the room. But now the elephant's days were numbered.

Glenn turned back to Maggie, tenderly kissing her goodbye and whispering that he loved her. When she left him to cross the street, he sighed happily as he and Daryl watched her join Jess in the pantry doorway. The click of a lighter and the scent of smoke snapped Glenn from his blissful vigil and he glanced to his side at Daryl, who’s vision was planted firmly on Jess as she explained in dramatic detail about how she’d injured her shoulder.

“Not seen you in a while, man.” Glenn pointed out. He’d spotted the top of a crossbow swaying against the light of the horizon from the tower and seen Rick exchange a few words with Daryl at the gate but they were the only two occasions in over two weeks that he could recall seeing Daryl inside the walls.

“Mm?” Daryl grunted, still keeping an eye on Jess. She was circling a hand over her weakened shoulder and motioning to the joint, a gesture which told Daryl that she was relaying the re-setting of the bones.

“Where have you been, Daryl?”

“Oh. Uh. Stayin’ with her.” Was his short response, coupled with a head nudged up in her direction as he exhaled smoke through his nose. “Dislocated her damn shoulder.”

“That’s rough. She alright?” He inquired.

“She’s too stubborn not to be.” He muttered to himself, shifting his weight and sensing that Glenn’s questioning was not quite finished.

“You guys seem… close.” He commented in a deliberately nonchalant tone. It was no secret to anyone that Jess and Daryl had grown close. Conversations were had behind closed doors and speculation was starting to increase among the group. Only a few had been brave enough to broach the subject with Daryl, who was notoriously a lone wolf with a short temper and all but Carol had been firmly ignored. Now, it was Glenn’s turn after he picked up on the strange atmosphere and ramblings of Jess in the room of Records during their residential supply run.

“Not you too. Don’t start with this shit, Glenn” Daryl sighed “You and Abe been sittin’ on the front porch gossipin’ like a couple old biddies drinkin’ tea after church?”

“What? No. Of course not.” Glenn quickly dismissed, covering up the fact that he had indeed spoken to Abraham about Daryl and Jess on more than one occasion before realizing that lying to Daryl was not a wise move. “I mean, we might have mentioned you guys once or twice.”

“Ain't nothin’ to talk about.” Daryl confirmed.

“C’mon, I noticed the weird atmosphere in that record room when we went on that run. You seriously telling me there’s nothing going on between you guys?”

Daryl took a long drag of his smoke and caught eye contact with Jess when Maggie left her to walk into the pantry. She gingerly held up a hand in acknowledgement to him. He mirrored her motion, seeing Glenn wave back eagerly from his peripheral vision. Guilt stung his heart for the untoward way he’d spoken to her in the woods. He was becoming more and more aware that his actions when he was around her were growing more erratic as his feelings for her spiraled into something strong and something that he was facing for the first time in his life.

“She’s fuckin’ awesome. We’re friends.” He finally answered. “Drop it.”

“Okay, man. That’s cool.” Glenn agreed, accepting Daryl’s veiled warning to leave the subject alone. “But y’know, If the walkers have taught me anything, it’s that life is short. There really shouldn’t be anything holding people back from relationships at this point. I mean, if someone had told me when I was still delivering pizzas and playing video games that I’d end up with someone as amazing as Maggie, I’d have laughed in their face. I guess this new life has a way of changing people and how they see you.”

Daryl flicked his cigarette end into the street and looked at Glenn with a baffled expression. Glenn wasn’t the only person to drop hints about his relationship with Jess. He’d faced it from Carol, Carl, Abraham and Rick and was beginning to question why everyone else seemed to be able to understand what he wanted more than he did. If he had his way, he and Jess would be together, outside the walls and away from the chatter and gossip. If he had his way, he would be the man she deserved and would be able to give her the kind of relationship she wanted. But he did not have his way, all he had was the memories of his past, the mistakes he’d made and the constant reminder that he wanted so much more for her. He couldn’t deny that Glenn had a point, people had changed and he’d witnessed it with his own eyes. But to him, he’d remained the same. Unworthy, clueless and not able to make her as happy as he wanted her to be. Such a topic was not favorable to Daryl and especially not out in the open. He huffed incredulously and refused to mimic Glenn’s small and genuine smile.

“What are you, Oprah now or somethin?” He questioned.

“You said you’re friends. You didn’t say you weren’t anything else.” Glenn shrugged as he took a quick glance at Jess.

“Get outta here n’ mind ya damn business” Daryl grumbled with burning cheeks and the urge to move and place himself somewhere he wouldn’t be forced to face the reality of his situation. He stepped off the sidewalk and into the road, picking back up on the path towards The Grimes house and leaving Glenn smirking behind him.

Inside the house, Carol was reclined on the couch thumbing through a book she’d picked up from the thrown-together library inside the church. It was a romance novel, typical of her taste and laden with enough cliches and dramatics to transport her into the pages and the realm of escapism that she needed from the harsh and ruthless world.

She sipped on a cold glass of water, grateful for the use of a working tap and never again planning on taking it for granted. On the coffee table, her knife rested, glinting in the sunlight from the window and rarely further than an arms length away from her grasp. She knew they couldn’t be too careful, especially after the town had been compromised in such a bad way. Always being prepared was key for Carol and she had no intentions to be caught off guard any more.

Hearing the front door open, she sighed and resigned herself to the idea that her reading time would be short lived unless she either locked the door or retreated to her bedroom. Footsteps clunked across the wooden flooring and stopped in the doorway. Carol sat up, craning her neck to see behind the couch and finding Daryl leaned against the door frame and fiddling with the leather holster of his knife which hung from his belt. His fingers plucked at the metal popper around the handle, snapping it closed and then open again, over and over. Carol raised her eyebrows at him as she climbed up from the couch and dropped her book on the arm.

“He lives!” she proclaimed. “I take it you’ve been staying with your girl.”

“She ain’t my girl.” He corrected quickly. In one way, she was his girl. His best friend. The only person he truly trusted with anything. But in another way, she was far from his girl and he wished, deep down in his heart that it wasn’t the case.

“Maybe not yet.” Carol muttered time herself as she picked up her glass of water and padded past him. She crossed the hall and entered the kitchen, her boots scuffing along the floor as she lazily dragged her feet.

“Give me a damn break, Carol.” Daryl complained while following after her. “ What the hell is wrong with everybody, anyways? I just had all this from Glenn. Can’t walk through the damn gate without somebody firing questions at me.”

She held her hands up in surrender and selected a mug from the cupboard. From the coffee pot, the poured the dark, steaming liquid into the mug and handed it to him. He watched her as she shuffled past him and settled on a stool at the kitchen island. He sipped the drink, almost able to feel the caffeine enter his veins, lighting up his body with energy. He turned, leaving the island and stalked over to the window, moving the drapes and keeping his eyes on Jess as she talked animatedly to Abraham and laughed happily.

Carol reached across the counter top and dragged a small, wicker box and a jacket towards her. She opened up the box and took out a sewing needle and black thread, effortlessly threading the needle and setting to work sewing up a hole in the seam of Ricks, fur-collared jacket. Her eyes moved up to Daryl intermittently and it became obvious what had garnered his attention through the window. Daryl was a quiet soul by all accounts, never one for rambling or mindless chit chat, but he did speak to Carol more than most and on that particular morning, he was quieter than ever. As the seconds ticked by and the hole in the jackets seam shrunk as a result of Carol’s sewing skill, he lingered by the window, slowly sipping his coffee with a blank expression.

“You okay? You’re normally quiet but this is unsettling.” Carol mentioned.

He briefly looked at her. A fleeting, split second glance over his shoulder.

“M’fine.”

He wasn’t fine, Carol could sense it. Call it woman’s intuition or just a vast knowledge of the complexities of Daryl’s character, but she knew that he was far from okay. He was preoccupied, pensive and somewhat deflated.

“You can tell me.” She reminded him in a blasé tone and turned her attention back to her sewing. She knotted the thread and tugged on the fabric either side of the stitches. It would hold fast and Rick would not have to lose the collar of his jacket. Satisfied with her efforts, she tidied away the needle and thread back into the box and folded the garment..

“I know.” Daryl responded softy. He knew Carol would always be there for him as someone to lean on and someone that understood him. Aside from Jess, she was the closest person to him and had shown him the importance of acknowledging his emotions.

“How is her shoulder?” She asked.

“Almost healed.” He grunted, lifting a hand and pushing the blind apart with his fingers to create a hole in which he could get a better view of Jess.

“So, why are you watching her as if she will shatter into a million pieces?” Carol questioned, now staring right at him with a stern expression. Daryl did a small double-take at her and suddenly felt exposed and caught out.

“I ain’t” He mumbled, moving away from the window and sitting down opposite her.

She waited patiently for him to speak, knowing it would happen sooner or later. She could almost see the load on his mind weighing him down. He fidgeted in his seat and sipped his coffee again before biting his lip.

“I dunno what the hell I’m doin’.” He admitted. They locked eyes and he could tell that she was full of sympathy and concern at his sad and overwhelmed voice. He was opening up and she adopted a calm and still presence so as not to scare him back into his silence.

“Can fight, can hunt, can tell good folks from bad ones.” He started. He was looking right at her, a desperate hope that she could follow what he was saying. “Can’t fuckin’ figure out what the hell is goin’ on in my own damn head.”

Carol pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side, lightly patting his hand which rested on the countertop.

“You have to ask yourself what it is that you really want.” She advised.

Daryl shifted and cleared his throat before rubbing at his eyes and growling low in his throat with frustration.

“Y’know what? Just forget I said anythin’.”

His walls were going back up and Carol felt momentarily powerless to stop them for fear of angering him, but she couldn’t abandon hope altogether and decided to shove aside her reservations and continue trying to extract the truth.

“What do you want, Daryl?” She asked directly.

Finding himself backed into a corner and unable to figure out a way to escape such a straight question, his eyes locked with hers. He knew better than to think she would announce anything he told her from the rooftops. His trust in her was unwavering, but discussing such a topic had never been on his radar before and confessing such a personal and real truth made his palms sweat and his chest hum with nerves. He knew exactly what he wanted and it had taken a fight in his own head to come to that conclusion. Admitting it out loud was a new battle altogether.

“Her.” He whispered “I want her.”

Once again, Carol reached out and touched his hand, covering it with her fingers and smiling warmly at him. In his life, Daryl had never experienced the comforting assurance of a good friend, let alone a female and he felt as though he’d reached a turning point by answering her question at all, let alone with something so private. He never remembered enough about his own mother to know if she was as caring and invested in his happiness as Carol was. But Merle had given him the impression that delivering bottles of wine to her bed was the about the extent of their relationship. He wondered if this was what he’d been missing out on for so many years, if he would have found his teenage years and time following his brother like a sheep any easier if he’d been encouraged to express himself in ways other than violence and mischief.

“You need to tell her” She urged, keeping her hand where it was and giving it a slight squeeze. He looked down at where their hands connected and closed his eyes for a moment. A myriad of flashbacks flickered through his memory. Drinking, drugs, robberies, fights, arrests. The abuse. The tormenting, harrowing, haunting abuse. The scars. It was out of the question; he could never tell her.

“I can’t.” He croaked.

“Why not?” She pressed with a short disbelieving huff.

“It’s complicated.” He told her. He took his hand away and let out a long exhalation.

“You think she doesn’t like you that way?”

He caught her eye again, unsure whether to proceed in telling her that he was well aware of Jess’s interest in him and that no matter how much she liked him, he was unwavering sure that he would only end up hurting her. He didn’t know how to be with someone in that way, didn’t know how to be one half of a whole and above all else, when he faced his deepest thoughts, he couldn’t even say that he believed in love at all. But Carol was staring at him with pleading eyes, desperate for him to just say what he was thinking and he’d got that far, it didn’t make sense for him to give up now.

“She likes me.” He disclosed “I uh… I know she likes me”

“She told you that?” She queried quickly and trying not to sound too surprised. It wasn’t a secret to Carol that Jess’s affection for Daryl far surpassed that of a friendship, but to hear him say it filled her heart with joy at the prospect of some actual potential.

“Overheard her talkin’ to Aaron.” He said.

Carol grinned unashamedly. There it was, finally. “I can’t say I’m surprised. It’s obvious you’re her favorite thing.” She beamed.

“Nah, she’s lost her mind. She shouldn’t like me.” He dismissed.

“Daryl, the only thing that matters is that you’re both happy when you’re together. She’s changed you. Brought you out of your shell. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if she hadn’t managed to knock down a couple of those walls you put up to stop anybody getting close to you.” She explained with a strong confidence that what she was telling him was right and that he needed to hear it.

He nervously scratched at the back of his neck. “I can't do this stuff, Carol. Women. This ‘feelings’ bullshit.”

“Just be honest with her. That’s all you need to do.” She reiterated.

“I want…” he rasped before pausing to stand up, signalling that he was more or less done with the conversation. “...I just want better for her.”

“Better? What do you mean, better?” She challenged.

His chin quivered as he chewed his bottom lip and tapped a finger on the counter a few times, pondering over how difficult it felt to express something so personal.

“Better than me.” He uttered.

Carol also stood up, placing her hand flat on the counter top in front of her and leaning closer to him. She’d had enough, she certainly didn’t see him as not good enough for anyone and he was going to listen to her if he liked what she had to say or not.

“Listen to me. You’re a good man. You’re just as good as Rick and Glenn and Abraham and anybody else. Just as good. You’re not who you were.” She affirmed with a reasonably loud thud of her hand every time the word ‘good’ left her lips.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He shrugged.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her frustration to stay below the surface and drew in a deep breath.

“We all bleed the same color, Daryl. You have her blood in your veins, pumping through your heart. She is a part of you.” She continued. She opened her mouth to speak again but stopped when she noticed Daryl’s confused expression.

“What?” He questioned, baffled by her comments. “What are ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

“When she gave you blood to save your life. After that bastard shot you.” She reminded him.

He blinked in surprise and his eyes searched her face for any hint that it might be a twisted joke or her information was incorrect. But she stood firm and not a single thing about her demeanor told him that what he’d just heard was untrue.

“When she did what?” He asked.

Carol recoiled, taking a step back and bringing a hand to her mouth as if to stop herself from disclosing anything else that he didn’t know.

“I thought you knew. I thought she told you. I thought everybody knew. How did you not know?” she rambled.

“She ain’t told me nothin’. What the fuck?” he demanded, his face now fixed into a look of pure shock and bewilderment.

“Ah. Okay. Um.” She stuttered before shaking her head quickly and trying to gather her thoughts. She could only guess that there was a reason Jess had not mentioned it to him and began to fret that she’d opened a can of worms that Jess was trying to keep closed. “You almost bled to death. Denise and Rick…they didn’t know your blood type. Jess said she was O negative, compatible with most blood types. So, she donated blood to you until she almost passed out. She saved your life.”

Daryl’s mouth dropped open and he slowly moved back, away from the counter until his back thudded against the wall behind him. He smoothed a hand down his face and searched the floor with his eyes while his mind cast back to the days after he’d been shot, to all the opportunities she had to tell him, but didn’t. It was something he’d wanted to know, something he needed to know and he just couldn’t fathom why she would want to keep such an important thing to herself. He began to regret being so dismissive of Denise too, ruling out any opportunities for her to disclose what had transpired while he was unconscious. His body filled with dread; why did Jess keep it from him?

“She never told me” He sighed.

Carol rounded the Kitchen island and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. She gave it a slight squeeze and caught his eye, forcing him to lift his dipped head and witness her broad smile.

“Now you know how important you are to her.”

The fairground grass was getting long enough to obscure Jess’s feet and knees when she waded through it while checking her fences. The calming sway of the green blades in the breeze and the soft rustling as she meandered through the open spaces was one of the more favored parts of her day. The chance to take stock of the little things. If it wasn’t for the pestering of the odd Walker pressing itself into the diamond shaped fencing and dropping coagulated blood onto the metal barrier, she would have thought it wasn’t far from a normal, perfect, summer's day. She clunked her knife along the metal as she walked, sending a loud, abrasive sound travelling along the chain link and alerting the attention of two Walkers ahead. They paused their swaying and wheezing for a moment, like dogs caught by a high-pitched noise and soon, they were trundling towards her and reaching out at their unfazed and well, equipped prey. Jess positioned herself close to the fence, wincing in disgust when the two undead threw themselves at her. Skin ripped and rotting, a putrid odor and a deep, bubbling of mucus and blood in their chests. With her knife, she used the diamond gaps to eliminate the threats. One through the eye and the other through an already pre-existing hole in the side of its skull. They dropped to the ground, one slumping over the other and Jess backed away, sheathing her knife and making her way to the Ferris wheel.

The twinges in her shoulder were less persistent and the dull ache that had initially made her nauseous was now a thing of the past. Thanks to Daryl’s much loathed physio book and his watchful eye, she had made a decent enough recovery to be able to look after her own property again. But she was yet to be faced with a situation that meant her muscles and tendons were put under strain and she hoped that until she could build her strength back up, she wouldn’t have to be.

She flicked through her book with her legs outstretched and her back popped up against the control box to the Ferris wheel. The sun beat down on her head, warming her scalp and threatening to burn her nose, but she enjoyed it, basking in the warm glow of the sun and locating the folded, bookmarked page in her novel. She was disturbed when the bell rang at the gate and swung her legs from the platform. She trudged through the grass and to the path, raising a hand and waving at Daryl on the other side of the gate.

The hinges creaked loudly with the movement as she tugged the gate open and let Daryl inside. He appeared nervous and uncomfortable, with his hands firmly clamped around the strap of his crossbow at his shoulder. She clanked the gate shut and secured the lock, noticing immediately that he didn’t seem to be quite himself.

“You got a minute?” He requested.

“For you?”

“Mmhmm”

“I always have several minutes for you.” She chirped with a shrug of one shoulder. She paced over to the Ferris Wheel and he followed along behind her until she halted and turned back to him. He noted her casual attire; a T-shirt, jeans and a hoodie. She wasn’t planning on leaving her compound and that, Daryl considered, meant he’d chosen a good time to address a tricky subject. A long and heavy pause meant that her eyes widened in expectation and she pushed her lips into a thin line. His boot tapped on the gravel and his vision scanned the ground. He hoped she couldn’t see him summoning the courage to talk but he felt more exposed and readable than he’d ever felt before.

“Think we should talk.” He rasped.

She almost missed it. A rare, hushed and surprising comment that she’d not heard from Daryl before and as the words echoed in her head, her heart started to race and her body was suddenly awash with nerves.

“Oh… You-you do?” She asked without thinking.

For as long as she’d known him, he’d never been the one to request to talk to her in such a way and it was telling. Jumping to the first conclusion she created, she assumed something was very, very wrong.

“Sure. Are you okay?” She questioned. Her tone was upbeat but even she could her the slight tremor in her voice.

“Mmhm. Just… confused.”

“Why?”

“Things have been kinda weird between us.” He admitted, finally making eye contact and hoping that he could deliver his point without actually having to say the words. Words that he wasn’t even sure he could choose wisely anyway due to being so out of his depth, he was quite literally just winging it. Far from wanting to overwhelm the both of them with the disclosure that he now knew she’d sacrificed her own blood to save his life, he decided that one precarious topic was enough for one day and he would need time to think over the monumental and selfless act that she had committed to make sure that he still existed. “Think ya know what I’m getting’ at here.”

“I do?” She squeaked.

“The uh, the record room. In that house. What we did.” He dropped his hands and a whoosh of breath left his lungs and for the first time ever, Jess saw a flicker of fear on his face. “and the times before that.”

Am I dreaming this? He’s actually bringing this up?! I thought I was going to have to take this uncertainty to the damn grave.

“Oh. Uh. Yeah.” She agreed as casually as possible but when her voice replayed back in her memory, she sounded more like she wanted to run away and hide from the reality of it all. She’d gone from desperately needing to know where she stood, to being terrified of how real discussing things made it feel.

“I guess we should try n’ figure this out.” Daryl suggested.

All at once, Jess remembered the past three weeks in which he had attended to her every need and practically wrapped her in an impenetrable, invisible safety blanket. But also, how he’d kept his distance. He’d held her hand and slept close to her, even let her snuggle against him every now and then but he had not made one, single attempt to kiss her again. She remembered waking next to him one morning, he was facing her with his cheek illuminated by the thin ray of light through the gap in the blacked-out window. He was sleeping peacefully with her hand enveloped in his and curled against the bare skin of his chest where the top of his shirt was unbuttoned. She fought with all her might not to lean down and kiss him awake. The fear of his rejection was too great for her to act on her desire.

“But you haven’t kissed me in three weeks. I thought that was done.” She expressed.

I am far from done with you, girl. I wish I never had to be.

“Was ‘cause of me that ya fucked up ya shoulder.” He replied “Thought I should leave ya be.”

“Oh.” She heaved in a jagged and nervous breath “I don’t blame you for my shoulder. Was my own stupid fault. I thought...” she stopped herself, reluctant to tell him the real reason she’d pinned on his inaction.

“You thought what?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She whispered, trying to brush it aside to avoid telling him the embarrassing truth. His expression changed and before she knew it, he was looking right at her face with pleading eyes, urging her to give him a break and work with him.

“C’mon, Jess. I’m tryin’ here. It does matter.” He pleaded.

“You’re right” She agreed with a nod. “I thought you stopped kissing me because you… because you didn’t like what you saw that evening. The shoulder thing. The clean-up. You, cleaning me up.”

Ugh. She thought. This is embarrassing.

He closed his eyes and sighed, horrified that she would believe such a thing. He wanted to tell her that his priority that day was her recovery, that he wasn’t using it as a chance to ogle her or treat her like she was an object and that if anything, despite his valiant attempt to remain detached from any kind of sexual feelings towards her, he would be lying if he said he didn’t think she was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

“That ain’t true.” He replied quietly but sincerely. “Hell, I wouldn’t- I don’t… uh…that ain’t true, at all. Alright? I don’t want ya to think that. M’sorry ‘bout this mornin’ too. How I was… in the woods. You were talkin’ bout me not havin’ to stay with ya no more n’ I guess I just- I just didn’t like the sound of that. It’s been good, bein’ so… close… to you.”

Well, I’ll be a bitch. He doesn’t find me repulsive? He likes being close…to me? No, the guy has definitely hit his head or eaten some questionable mushrooms.

Jess was floored and had evidently lost control of her facial features and her expression. She thought she probably looked a little like a startled rabbit but cared little for such a triviality when she’d been given the precious gift of Daryl’s rare and weighty honesty.

“I didn’t mean I wanted you to leave. I don’t. I don’t want that.” She assured him. The last thing she’d wanted was for him to leave and her comments had been born mainly from worrying that he was getting tired of her and needed his own space.

“Ahh fuck.” He cursed to himself. “I’m not good at this shit.”

“Makes two of us” She smiled.

He risked moving closer to her. Close enough to graze her fingers at her side with his. His touch didn’t linger but the sensation did and her skin sparkled with the want for more. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, took a deep breath and released it.

“Kinda miss ya” he confessed.

Jess’s eyebrows pinched together and she narrowed her eyes. He’d been with her for a large proportion of the time for three weeks. How on earth could he possibly miss her?

“I’m right here.” She chuckled nervously “You’ve been living with me for three weeks, dummy. I don’t understand.”

Moving closer still and with the echo of her shy laugh in his head he brushed her hair back from her shoulder before gently feeling over her cheek with his fingertips.

Daryl knew he had to amp up his bravery and so far, the conversation had gone far better than he could have hoped. She had been receptive, non-judgemental and hadn’t flinched in annoyance at his difficulty with expressing himself. He trusted her beyond measure and in that moment, he was certain that he always would.

“Don’t mean like that” He told her, stopping short of spelling it out to her.

She didn’t need to question his statement; it was now obvious to her what he really meant and she felt herself melt at how gentle and forthright he’d been. He was treating her like a fragile, precious piece of glass that could crack at any moment but was his prized possession.

“It ain’t done. Whatever it is. Not unless ya want it to be.” He confirmed.

“You scare me a little” She blurted out of nowhere. She couldn’t even pinpoint when the idea had entered her head.

“Why?”

Because you’re everything to me. Because you’re smart and courageous and selfless. Because you’re a total fucking dreamboat. Because you’re gentle and caring. Because you know I’m a little weird and hang out with me anyway. Because you literally make me weak when you kiss me. Because I know you want to touch me and I really want to let you. Because I am so in love with you, Daryl.

“You make me feel something I haven’t felt before. You make me feel like it’s a good thing to be me.” She replied.

“It is, Jess.” He said with a small smile and a sparkle in his eye.

There she had it, he wasn’t horrified by what he saw the day she dislocated her shoulder, he didn’t find her annoying or a burden and he hadn’t changed his mind. He was telling her, in the only roundabout way he knew how, that he wanted to keep kissing her, if she would let him.

“I-I miss you too” She disclosed with a shaky voice.

He smiled briefly and his eyes fluttered as he leaned down to her, brushing his hand over the side of her face and bringing her lips to his. It was like the first sprinkling of rain during a drought, long awaited and needed. She heard him gasp when his lips left hers transiently and came back for more, with more pressure the second time around, more craving and a sense of built up anticipation that she could feel dispelling form his very being as he kept one hand on her face and slid the other under the elastic hem of her hoodie, spreading his hand out over her hip.

Branches and leaves whipped against Carl’s face as he sprinted through the woods, desperately hoping he was on the right path and telling himself that if he just kept running, he would eventually find what he was looking for. His chest was burning and his feet were pounding so hard on the uneven ground that they felt like they were made from cement. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he pressed on, running as fast as he could.

In the distance, he could see fencing and finally, his mind surged with relief and an involuntary whimper emerged from his lips. Finally, he’d reached his destination with his veins pumping with adrenaline and his nerves alight with panic. He surged forwards, racing towards the gate and catching his foot on a fallen branch. He stumbled but regained his footing and carried on until his body was slammed against the gate, creating a shockwave that rattled along the entirety of the fencing.

Inside the fence, he could see the dirty angel wings of Daryl’s back through the brightly coloured, chipping paint of the Ferris Wheel. In front of him, he could just about make out that Jess was standing in front of him. Close to him and neither of them were speaking. Carl squinted and laced his fingers into the metal grid of the fence.

“Guys?!” He called out “Jess? Daryl?”

Daryl pulled away from Jess’s lips, listening intently to what he thought was a voice on the wind but he’d been so wrapped up in what was becoming a moderately amorous tryst that he’d almost ignored the sound altogether.

“You hear that?” He asked Jess who was blinking up at him with reddened lips and in a complete daze.

“Hear what?” She croaked.

Daryl listened again, turning his head to the side and scanning the area. Although he saw nothing, his gut was telling him he was missing something and so, he waited a few more seconds.

“Guys! Help!” Carl yelled at the top of his voice, now slapping his hands on the fence. “She’s gone!”

Daryl turned to the gate, seeing Carl rattling the barrier and yelling at them. It was an automatic reaction that was without thought, but he grabbed Jess’s hand and yanked her along with him as he ran to the path and towards the panicked teenager.

“Carl? Who’s gone?” He called to him from a few feet away. Jess stumbled over her boots both from the surprise of Carl's arrive and potentially being caught kissing Daryl and from her hand being clamped in his as he dragged her to the gate.

“Enid! They took her! They took her! I tried, I tried to follow them. They-they were too fast and there were too many. I-I couldn’t!” He babbled

“What?! Who?!” Jess demanded, now standing beside Daryl and still absent-mindedly holding his hand. Neither of them seemed to be aware that their hands were still entwined and it wasn’t until Jess’s palm grew warm that she glanced down and quickly tore her fingers from his grasp. A flash of worry crossed his features at his thoughtlessness and they both focused their attention on Carl.

“The men that attacked Alexandria. They-they looked like part of the same group. They took her. They just came out of nowhere. From the trees and took her. I-I couldn’t stop them” He explained.

“Oh my god.” Jess muttered worriedly under her breath. Noticing a red mark that was rapidly becoming darker on Carl's cheekbone, signalling that he’d been hit. Her temper rapidly raged from the pit of her stomach and she grit her teeth and inhaled through her nose.

“Go tell Deanna.” Daryl told her before stepping closer to the gate and opening it up for Carl. “What way did they go?” He asked him.

“North, up to the highway, I’m not sure from there. I couldn’t keep up. I lost them. I tried, Daryl.”

His eyes filled with tears but Jess could tell he was managing to hold them back enough to stop them from spilling down his cheeks. Now wasn’t the time to cry, now was the time for action and Carl knew that more than any of the other teenagers back at Alexandria. He’d been through more than them, endured things that such a young soul should never have to shoulder. Carl was resilient and brave and she knew then that her and Daryl had their work cut out in trying to convince him to stay behind while they went out to look for Enid.

“I know, man. I know you did everything you could. You did the right thing comin’ to get us.” Daryl cooed, resting a hand on his shoulder and shaking it slightly “Were they on foot?”

“At first” he nodded quickly “Then they got in a truck. They left tire marks.”

“Alright. Jess, go tell Deanna.” He repeated, much to her annoyance.

“Uh…no?” She challenged “I’m going with you.”

“Are you fuckin’ crazy?” He stepped closer to her and turned her around with a hand on her arm to block Carl hearing him. “You forgotten what they are? What they did to you? What they do to women?”

Her dreams hadn’t let her forget. The persistent nightmares only kept at bay by the safety and comfort of Daryl’s presence. The sight of Aaron and Eric’s kitchen was a constant reminder, as was the scar on the back of her head which was still tender to the touch even then. She most definitely hadn’t forgotten and it was for that reason that she had to do everything in her power to rescue the troubled girl that wandered the woods from a fate worse than death.

“Not for a single second. But I've been looking out for that girl since I got here and I’m not about to abandon her now. So, I’m going with her if you say so or not.”

Daryl quickly took a glimpse at Carl who was nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other but still managing to appear fascinated by the closeness of the two people in front of him.

“Jess…what they tried to do to you last time… I can’t let that happen to ya. I won’t.” He pressed. The thought of her being anywhere near the group that hurt her so badly and had intentions to subject her to worse filled his heart with a fraught sense of discomfort and he swore to himself on that day that if anyone was to try to hurt her again he would not hesitate to destroy them.

“So, don’t.” She shrugged, terrified at her own determination and sheer grit.

Jess volunteered to take Carl to Alexandria while Daryl began tracking the mass of scuffed footprints through the woods and up to the highway until Jess managed to spot him emerging from the trees between deep and obvious skidded tracks that led onto the road. She stopped the car and he climbed in, shooting her an unimpressed look at her determination to tag along. Jess hadn’t disclosed what had happened to anyone inside the walls, mainly due to lack of time and focusing on running through the gate, telling Carl to go home and sprinting to Deanna’s house in order to pick up some keys. She found the house to be empty and so, helped herself before racing across the street to the armory to collect two guns, jumping back into the truck and speeding away from the town.

With the windows wound down and her head full of horrendous possible outcomes, Jess struggled to listen to Daryl as he lay out his opinion on what route they should take while smoothing a map over the dash. After asking him to repeat himself twice, he simply told her to stay on the same road until he told her to change direction.

Hours seemed to pass but the light never dwindled and Jess could only conclude that it only felt like so much time had passed when really, they’d been on the road for no more than an hour. She tried to focus, tried to push aside her fretting over what could possibly befall Enid if they didn’t find her. Daryl was eagerly watching the road and the trees on either side for signs of a possible ambush, but as they pressed on, he noticed nothing untoward.

A noise from the back of the vehicle soon stirred Jess from her anxious train of thought and she looked over at Daryl, who had evidently heard it too. He checked the backseat and the footwells and gave her a confused look. She shrugged and expressed that it was probably something rolling around in the trunk that she hadn’t bothered to check on their way out. She’d been in such a rush that all she could think about was obtaining a vehicle and weapons.

But then, it happened again. Clunk. Clunk. Bump. They both looked at each other again and Jess eased her foot off the accelerator.

“That ain't nothin’ rollin around. That’s somethin’ movin’.” Daryl rasped as he leaned through the gap in the seats and turned his ear to the sound.

Without a warning, the rear seat hatch sprang open and smacked on the leather seat surface.

“WHAT THE?!” Daryl shouted as he flung himself backwards in shock, hitting the vehicle’s radio and filling the cab with loud country music. Jess, also startled by the out of the blue occurrence, gripped the steering wheel and used all her focus to bring the truck back under control after it was sent swerving from one side of the road to the other. Her hands scattered frantically over the small levers either side of the steering wheel and in her terror, she began to flick them up and down. The indicators flashed and the windscreen wipers screeched across the dry glass. Johnny Cash blared from the speakers and if Jess wasn’t too busy trying to keep the vehicle under control at the same time and pushing her ear to her shoulder to muffle the music she would have been concerned with how many Walkers they were now attracting.

“Holy fuckin’ mackerel what is going on?! What is that?! Turn that shit down! Oh my god, my fucking ears! I’m going deaf!” Jess yelled.

Daryl scrambled about, hitting the radio over and over until the music finally stopped and he was able to turn back around to investigate the reason the hatch had slammed open and almost caused a crash. His eyes widened and his lips parted when he saw Carl hanging through the hatch, covered in sweat and gasping for air.

“You gotta be kidding me right now” He growled.

In the rear-view mirror, Jess stared in astonishment at the sight of Carl struggling to pull himself through the backseat.

“Is that-is that Carl?! Tell me that is not Carl! Daryl?!” Jess screeched.

“It’s Carl.”

“It’s Carl?! What the fuck is Carl doing in the trunk?”

“How the hell do I know?!”

“The kid is in the fucking trunk, Daryl!”

“I know”

“The kid is in the trunk, it’s like a thousand degrees outside and the kid is in the trunk!”

“I know.”

“This cannot be happening! He’s in the fucking trunk! He could have died!”

“I FUCKING KNOW, JESS!” He bellowed at her, rendering her silent but still reeling from the idea that Rick’s son had most probably stowed away while she wasn’t looking, meaning they would all have some serious explaining to do once Rick found out.

“C’mon” Daryl urged as he took hold of Carl's gangly arms and hoisted him through the hatch. His sheriffs hat caught on the plastic clip of the hole and once he was upright on the seat, he reached inside to retrieve it, placing it on his head to cover his sweat soaked hair. His once white T-shirt was now a light shade of grey from the perspiration and his cheeks were burning red. His breathing was settling and he wound down the window beside him, saying nothing and appearing highly disturbed.

“Hooooooh buddy are you in a whole lotta trouble right now.” Jess chuckled in a sinister tone. She guided the car to the side of the road and hit the brakes. Jumping out from the drivers side , she slammed the door and sent a careless crash of a noise filtering through the trees. Daryl followed suit but didn’t bother to shut the door on his side, he figured Jess had just made enough noise for the both of them.

“Rick is gonna lose his marbles when he finds out you’re gone, Carl.” Daryl told him as he opened the backseat door. Carl swung his legs out but stayed where he was, the thought of standing in the sun being a lot less appealing that it normally would have been.

“Shit in my mouth and call it a sundae!” Jess raged, stamping her boot on the road's surface. “You are dumber than a box of rocks!”

“I’m sorry” Carl croaked.

“Hey, Jess-” Daryl tried to cut in in order to calm her down.

“-NO!” She shot back at him with a point of her finger before turning back to Carl “Can you not feel how hot it is today?! You almost roasted your damn self to death in there! You scared the shit out of both of us!”

“I wasn’t scared.” Daryl mumbled as he lit a smoke and wandered into the middle of the road.

Jess whirled around and glared at him with fury.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but you were the one that started the Johnny Cash show in there and damn near burst my eardrums!” She cried.

“Was just surprised…s’all.” He shrugged “You’re the one that done turned it into the fuckin’ disco car”

The irate look on her face was hard to ignore and Daryl did little to hide the fact that he found it incredibly amusing when she lost her temper in this way. She bit her tongue and opted to back off, it wasn’t Daryl she was mad at, after all.

Carl sighed and wiped at his face, his eyes stung with the salty sweat and he wanted nothing more than a cold shower or a swimming pool and a popsicle at that moment in time. Jess leaned against the side of the car next to him and tried to get her temper under control.

“I can help. I want to help.” Carl said, sounding exhausted.

“Carl, since you arrived at Alexandria you’ve been given one task; stay inside the house when there’s trouble. To this day, you have not managed that and you were just re-born though the back seat of a car because you were stupid enough to lock yourself in there, not only on a real hot day but on a rescue mission you are not supposed to be a part of. You do not get a say, okay?!” She explained.

Daryl walked back from the center of the road and rested a hand on his hip while he took a drag of his cigarette and studied Carl.

“We ain’t got time to take him back.” He stated with a glance at Jess.

“Then let’s just leave him here and claim ignorance.” She replied casually.

As much as he wanted to laugh, he simply raised one eyebrow and held back a smile. Her amusing take on anger and her way of wording things was unique and he hoped she never lost it.

“Jess.” He warned.

“I’m kidding.” She scoffed. “Sorta. We’ll have to take him with us.”

Daryl leaned on the open door of the vehicle and dipped his head, catching Carl's eye and encouraging him to lift his head so he could see his face. His cheeks were regaining their usual color and he was seemingly recovering from his time in the tin box of heat.

“You stay in the car n’ do as we say or you’ll get us all killed, you hearin’ me?” He questioned firmly.

“Yeah, OK.” Carl nodded. Even if he wanted to protest, he didn’t have the energy at that point. Hearing a low growl in Daryl’s throat, he gathered quite rapidly that the archer, his father’s best friend and one of the people his entire group looked to for protection, was quite unimpressed by his actions.

“I could tan your hide for this, man. She’s hysterical…” He motioned to Jess with the wave of a hand in her direction “…but she’s right. This was stupid and dangerous”

Carl’s face changed and a certain boldness crept across his features. He took a quick peep at Jess before blinking up at Daryl.

“You’d do it.” He said clearly.

“What?” Daryl asked.

“If it was Jess that got taken. You’d do the same. You really like her.” He declared.

Daryl felt his chest constrict and his breath catch in his throat. He almost didn’t want to check Jess’s reaction because of the heavy awkwardness of it all. In a split second, Carl had managed to switch the atmosphere with just one simple sentence. But Jess had heard every word and quickly decided to remove herself from the situation. It was all she could do to stop the raging embarrassment that was threatening to expose itself across her cheeks.

“I’m just going to take a walk. Check out the…scenery” She said nervously as she pointed to the line of darkened trees opposite. For miles, both sides of the road were the exact same and there really wasn’t much to look at but Jess was determined to put distance in between herself and Daryl and Carl. She pretended she couldn’t hear them as she walked away. Unbeknownst to them, she could decipher most of their conversation.

“You don’t know nothin’ ‘bout that.” Daryl told Carl as he checked on Jess to find her pacing about and tapping her thigh with her fingers.

“I know you got shot trying to save her.” He mentioned.

“We ain’t talkin’ ‘bout me, we’re talkin’ ‘bout you. Focus.” He told him, tapping his own temple to ram the point home.

“But it’s the same thing.” Carl countered, set in his decision to make Daryl see that there was very little difference in Jess being kidnapped or Enid being kidnapped. The result would be the same. “You’d want to go and find Jess if she was kidnapped.”

He couldn’t lie. Daryl was never one for lies and especially not to an impressionable teenager. With Carl waiting for a response, Jess hovering nearby and the clock ticking away the chances of rescuing Enid, he took a deep breath.

“Yeah, alright. I would.” He admitted. “I get it, okay? You like her and ya can’t stand the thought of her gettin’ hurt. You’re gonna have to come with us but you're stayin' in this car. You good with that?”

“Yeah. I’m good with that.” Carl agreed.

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tagging as requested: @lilred254 @woundmetender @lonewolf471

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MasterList

#daryl #daryl dixon #daryl x oc #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #twd daryl

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around - Chapter 26

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 29/?

Of all the choices she made, Jess could not choose what happened in her head when she slept. Humans needed daydreams as goals, aspirations and escapes, but nightmares are also dreams and part of what makes them so terrifying, is their origin and creation in a person’s mind. A vivid nightmare has the potential to stay and fester for hours after waking, some are sometimes never forgotten. Daryl was her knight up against the reoccurring foe of her vivid dreams and his presence gradually pushed it away, weakened it and solidified her refusal to surrender. She would recover, she would get over her trauma, as long as Daryl was by her side.

An impromptu night spent by her bedside after she’d fallen asleep reading a book meant that Jess slept soundly with nothing more than a hand rested on her wrist when she’d stirred once and Daryl’s protective instincts kicked in. He watched her eyelashes flutter and her lips murmur until she fell back into a still and undisturbed sleep.

He remained in the chair opposite the bed during the dark hours and occupied his time in between glancing up at her sleeping form with the various books she kept on her bookshelf. All arranged alphabetically and by genre, like a bookstore or a library. When daylight shone through the gap in the barrier on the window and cast a bright, searing light in one spot on the floor, Jess groaned and Daryl rose to his feet, creeping across the rug and kneeling beside her bed. He curled his fingers around hers and gently kneaded her hand.

“Jess?” He whispered steadily, seeing her eyes open before her eyelids flickered and she groaned again. Her hand was slid out from his and she crumpled her face up, peering at him with one eye open.

“Oh god.” She moaned.

“Actually…” He smiled “It’s Daryl. But that’s close enough.”

Jess couldn’t help but laugh, one of her hands rising up to rest on his shoulder and her cheeks turning rosy. It was rare to hear such a comedic remark from him but in those rarities came gratitude from Jess that she was the only one that was blessed with seeing such a side to him.

“You didn’t have to stay here all night.” She told him.

“I know. I wanted to.” He assured her. The truth was; the prospect of being in his room, alone when he had the opportunity to stay by Jess’s side was not an appealing one at all.

“Did I-?” She started

“-No bad dreams.” He said with an element of triumph.

“You are the chink in the armor of my nightmares.” She grinned.

Not knowing how to respond to something he didn’t know he needed to hear so much, she huffed shyly and bit down on his lower lip.

“I’ma head back, get a couple hours sleep. I’ll meet ya at the gate” He affirmed.

The need to scavenge was becoming more urgent due to Aaron and Daryl’s recruiting success. More mouths to feed meant more food and basics were needed and therefore, Daryl’s tight hold on Jess’s supply run area was slowly being relaxed. He let her join more runs with little argument, provided he was going along for the ride too and she hadn’t failed to notice his insistence on being near her all the time, following her into buildings and keeping her in his peripheral vision.

On that particular day, both of their schedules were full. They would hunt in the morning and join Michonne and Glenn for a supply run in the afternoon and in preparation for their trip, Jess spent the two hours that Daryl had used to sleep in the grounds of the Fairground, practicing with her new Compound bow.

Their kiss in the doorway of her home was still at the forefront of her mind, never leaving for more than a few minutes at a time. She thought of how she could definitely get used to being silenced by such methods, if only she knew the real intentions behind it all. A week had passed since and, in that time, their conversations bordered on flirting and Daryl’s confidence with her was notably bolder. He tested her, dropped hints and watched her blush with a quiet satisfaction, all the while remembering what he’d heard her say to Aaron at the vegetable patch that day. Despite their playfulness, there had been no more covert kisses no matter how many times they were left alone or Jess decided to chance her luck by babbling.

Growing increasingly confused by his actions, she found herself pinging back and forth between elation when he shot her a knowing smirk and anger when he allowed yet another day to go by without affording her an explanation. Caught between feeling as though he only had eyes for her and like a toy that he could throw away when he got bored of it, she began to wonder if she’d dodged a bullet for her entire life in staying away from what was the complicated world of feelings and relationships. But now she was caught in a web and endure she must with gritted teeth and able to revel in the delight that was his lips on hers, while it lasted.

So enamored was she with her new bow, that she was soon racing through the woods towards the gate, having lost track of time and realized she was late to meet Daryl for hunting. By the time she’d arrived, he was nowhere in sight and she quickly accepted that the morning hunt would be a lonely one. She set off through the trees with her bow held at her side and a quiver of arrows on her back and before too long, she’d taken down four squirrels but lacked anything with any substance.

She pressed on, shoving bushes aside and squinting at what appeared to be tracks on the ground. Footprints, but too organised and linear to be from a Walker. Figuring she may well be gaining ground on Daryl, she carefully tracked him and eventually discovered from the hoof prints in the dirt that he was following something larger than a squirrel. He’d managed to find a deer.

Finding him partially obscured in the bushes and reloading his crossbow, she checked the area in front of him to find nothing but trees and untouched foliage. He did a double take at her, expecting her to be a Walker and quickly feeling relieved when she grinned at him.

“Hey” She chirped.

“You after my deer?” He asked, standing up and lifting his crossbow with one, toned arm. Jess shifted her gaze to avoid the urge to drool at him.

“It’s my deer too now, Stinky” She remarked.

“Think you’ll find I started tracking it first n’ since I was on time, It’s my deer.” He commented. His tone was mocking and Jess loved the way he poked fun at her. Subtle, but so characteristic of his nature when he accompanied it with a badly hidden smile.

“Didn’t know you were such a stickler for timekeeping.” She said with a roll of her eyes before shoving him in the arm. She wasn’t about to lie to herself, she’d done it on purpose as an excuse to touch him.

“Wanna team up?” He offered.

“As long as your light-footed enough.” She said breezily as she scanned the ground for the track marks.

“You forgotten who taught you huntin’ basics, girl? Don’t make me laugh '' He scoffed with a brief glance around at their surroundings. His forehead glistened with sweat in the morning heat and he wiped the back of his wrist across it, sticking a few strands of scraggly hair to the side of his face.

“I can’t. That’s quite the challenge, apparently.” Jess quipped.

“Uh?” He grunted, confused by her comment.

“Making you laugh. It’s nigh on impossible.” She knew her statement wasn’t entirely true as she’d been witness to Daryl’s sense of humor many times, but she’d been unable to resist a small jibe at him after him pointing out the fact that she’d been late to the hunt.

“I laugh.” He argued.

“No, you don’t.” She countered, flicking a hand at him and wandering off in the direction of the tracks. She could hear him walking just behind her and toyed with the idea of mentioning the need to be light-footed again.

“Maybe folks just ain’t funny enough.” She heard him mutter. She stopped, turned to him and raised both eyebrows.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am hilarious. An absolute delight,” she told him.

“Whatever.” Was his only reply.

Jess couldn’t put her finger on exactly when it had happened but in a split second, the atmosphere between them changed and a spark ignited. It was the same spark she felt with his kiss on her doorstep and her heart began to race. Daryl was still, his eyes fixed on hers with an intense stare. A thick silence passed between them and he noticed her chest rising and falling under her reinforced clothing. She wanted to speak, wanted to ask him what was happening and if he felt the spark too but when she opened her mouth, the words vanished quicker than smoke on the wind.

“D-Daryl?” She stammered.

“Yeah?”

To her surprise, he took a couple of steps towards her and her body surged with anticipation. She waited and it felt like the longest few seconds of her life, so much so, she was unable to wait anymore and her impatience took over. She took a stride towards him and then, there was no space left between them. Her hands lifted and the bristly sensation of his jawline under her fingers was soon forgotten because she wanted to kiss him. And so, she did. It wasn’t like one of those close-mouthed, awkward kisses like in eighth grade. It wasn’t even hesitant or unsure like the previous two. It was a full on, open-mouthed, almost sexual kiss and Daryl loved it. He exulted in the way her body melted into his and the way their lips fit together like two missing puzzle pieces. She relented when he played with her hair, winding a few strands around his index finger. She felt a moan rising from deep inside her and like a tidal wave, it crashed and rolled to the precipice. He smiled into their kiss, unable to hide his satisfaction at her reaction.

She must be outside her mind to keep doin’ this with me.

His body hummed with desire when he slipped his tongue into her mouth and sensed her deepening the kiss. It was a risk he didn’t have time to talk himself out of but it paid off and instead of pulling away, she grabbed at the front of his leather vest with her fists.

Woah. I was not expectin’ this. Huntin’ sure is gettin’ interesting.

Jess slowed things down, c’hanging her mind, she loosened her grip on his clothing. Nerves were starting to rise in her chest and she knew that she couldn’t continue with such an almost perfect moment without some context. She gently pulled back from his lips, but his hands still held her in place with one holding the back of her neck and the other at her waist pinning her to him with a firm grip.

“What…what are we doi-” She tried to ask breathlessly between.

“-Shh…don’t.” He replied, finding her lips once more “no talkin’.” He insisted. He attempted to kiss her again, to prolong what had been a stunning and passionate encounter that he was sure would deprive him of sleep in the small hours, but she resisted and managed to step out of his grasp. He immediately clamped his teeth down on his bottom lip and awkwardly looked down at the floor, then back up at her, clearing his throat.

She hid behind her hand, her fingertips running over her moistened lips and her eyes darting about everywhere. She swallowed hard and bravely raised her vision to find him picking his crossbow back up from the ground. She hadn’t even noticed he’d dropped it, the sound melting into the electric pre-kiss atmosphere. Then, it occurred to her that she’d dropped her own bow and rapidly swooped down to collect it as though she’d been caught in the middle of a mischievous act.

“That deer is mine” he mumbled as he turned on his heels and stomped further into the woods.

“I think we’re going to have to learn to share.” She sighed.

Houses and residential settings were ideal for picking through during the end of days. Food was stashed all over the place, even almost two years after everything ground to a dangerous halt. With a little imagination, even the smallest of finds could blossom into something huge. Seeds, fertilizer, gardening tools and cuttings from bushes and trees enabled the community to be more self-sufficient. While dried herbs, salt and flour were requested for cooking and attempts at making sustenance that was not only necessary, but a little taste of that which everyone missed from before.

The group were looking for foodstuffs and items that would go a long way now they had more people to feed and while they were out, Deanna also requested that they bring back any clothing and bed sheets that had managed to avoid the inevitable decay of the apocalypse and it went without saying that any kind of weapon was going to be a good find.

Daryl teamed up with Jess without a word of acknowledgement from Glenn and Michonne, who both swapped a smile when the grumpy archer announced his plan upon jumping from the truck and heading for the door of a large house at the end of a dead end. Jess dutifully followed behind with her new bow armed and ready. She didn’t say it out loud for fear of coming off as mentally unstable, but she secretly hoped they would find Walkers inside the house so she had the chance to take one down with her new archery skills.

The interior of the house was reasonably still intact, the wallpaper was rotting and damp was seeping into the corners, creating a dense and pungent smell that made Jess wrinkle her nose. But it was not the stench of death like most of the houses she’d searched had possessed and so, she was able to pass through the hallway and follow Daryl as he ascended the stairs and checked the coast was clear.

Having two capable fighters behind her and another in front of her meant that being in the middle was the safest place to be. Taking advantage, she began scanning the bright shapes on the walls where family photos must have once existed. She wondered why anyone would think to take photographs with them when given the choice of packing up and leaving. But when she remembered the love of her own family and the many pictures they’d taken, her heart ached and she suddenly understood; she would give anything for just one photo.

At the top of the stairs, Jess noted that Michonne and Glenn had broken away from one another to sweep a room each and Daryl was inching his way into the master bedroom. Jess decided to take the other side of the stairs and soon found herself standing in a barbie pink bedroom with walls covered in unicorns and princesses. She slowly padded over the thick, carpeted floor and kicked open the closet. It was clear of Walkers and of clothing. Socks and a light purple sweater were all that was left. From behind her came a slight shuffling noise and her entire body froze on the spot. Her ears strained to listen and she concentrated so hard she could hear her heartbeat in her head. The longer she stood there, the louder it seemed to get without even increasing in volume at all and after a few seconds, Jess knew that there was a Walker on the other side of the room somewhere. It’s bubbling breathing indicated that its lungs were brimming with mucus but it was immobile enough to have either failed to notice her, or it was incapacitated somehow.

She turned and saw nothing. Adrenaline drove her forwards, out of the closet space and back into the main room where she approached the bed and peered over the edge. On the floor, slumped against a chest of drawers, was an elderly, female walker who instantly lifted a bony arm and began to claw at the air in Jess’s direction. Falling from her fingers, was a crumpled-up child’s drawing and it occurred to Jess that she may well be looking at the dead grandparent of the children that occupied the house. Clearly unable to move far due to her crushed legs, Jess didn’t consider her to be much of a threat at all, but she still saw it as kinder to put the dead down when she could. To end whatever might be going on in their brains. Even just sparks of instinct or chemical reactions. She couldn’t know for sure that they didn’t feel pain and the sight of the pallid, skinny and sad dead woman on the floor of the little girl’s room was enough to encourage her to raise her bow and release an arrow into her soft skull. The thud was quiet enough to evade everyone else’s attention and Jess sighed, tilting her head to one side before taking the quilt from the bed and covering the Walker up.

When she left the room, her attention was focused on the next room and she began to make tracks towards it when Daryl’s voice cut through the air from across the stairs.

“Woah”

Changing direction and letting curiosity make her choices, she followed the sound and pushed open a door with a brass plaque screwed into the glossy paintwork that boasted one word.

‘Office.’

She rubbed her nose absentmindedly as she entered the room, maneuvering her large compound bow through the doorway and slowly looked up.

“Wha-Oh good lord that’s a lot of Records” She blurted out.

Daryl was stood just in front of her, staring at a long, narrow room full of shelves on either side that reached from the ceiling to the floor. At the end of the room was an oval topped window that filled the space with sunlight and a desk that was scattered with paperwork but also housed an expensive-looking record player.

“Whoever lived here liked their vinyl.” He muttered as he started to wander along the packed shelving, squinting at the letters that protruded out between the records.

She mirrored his movements and joined him in scanning the collection, eventually smiling widely.

“They’re alphabetized. That pleases me.” She said.

Daryl stopped walking and looked over his shoulder at her with his eyebrows pinched together. He was less and less surprised by her quirky ways but sometimes she would make a comment that reminded him of the Jess that he met at the quarry.

“It does?” He questioned.

Her eyes widened and she hooked her bow over her shoulder before making a sweeping gesture from the top to the bottom of the perfectly cataloged records.

“How does this not please you? Look… A-Z. It’s beautifully organised!” She cried in disbelief at his ability to see the satisfaction in such a thing.

“Right” he grunted. Then, he remembered the books in her home. All stacked onto a bookshelf in genre and alphabetical order in true Jess style. He could see the pride in what she collected, the passion for which she did it, but he was baffled by how amazed she appeared to be by the huge collection of music in the room.

“I collected T-shirts and dragons, among other things. Organisation is key for a decent collection.” She informed him with a wag of her finger.

“Yeah, forget how much of a nerd ya are sometimes.” He commented. If she had missed the glint in his eye, she would have presumed it to be a derogatory comment, but she knew Daryl and she knew that slight glimmer of playfulness he possessed and refused to show to anyone but those he held dear. Those he could count on one hand.

“Probably for the best.” She shrugged.

“Why?”

“Maybe I’m not that girl anymore. That’s gotta be a good thing.” To Jess, it wasn’t just losing half of her body weight that was the huge change, it was the ability to look after herself, becoming independent and capable in the apocalypse that was the main change. She still liked the same things, sung the same songs in the safety of her home and wished she could watch her favourite films of TV shows during downtime. But she felt like she’d shed a lot of the old Jess when she embarked on her solo journey and she only saw that as a good thing.

“More her than ya think” he mentioned with a shake of his head in disagreement.

“Nobody liked her” She argued.

There was a momentary silence from Daryl, who side eyed her from where he was standing. Thinking she’d irritated him somehow, she glanced at him and moved her sight line back to the records in front of her, sliding one halfway out from its space, nestled neatly in-between others by the same musician. She could feel his eyes on her and couldn’t resist another peep at him. When she did, he finally spoke.

“Shut the hell up, Jess.”

Despite his choice of words, she sensed his tone was soft and tinged with sadness and for reasons unbeknownst to her, the low opinion she had of herself was something that bothered him. She considered that it wasn’t so far off from the way he saw himself and concluded that he was being mildly hypocritical, but she wasn’t about to enter into a debate about it.

Looking over her shoulder at him, she saw the same expression on his face that he wore in the seconds before they indulged in their woodland kiss. Serious, cautious yet laced with a hunger she had no idea she could instill in a person. She could hear Michonne and Glenn talking downstairs and for some reason, their voices now sounded a lot louder than they did before.

Daryl circled around her as if he was ready to stand in her path should she decide to bolt. He cleared his throat and looked over at her intermittently before placing his hand on the back of the door and closing it with the gentlest of clicks. Breaking eye contact with her, he lifted his crossbow and draped the strap over his shoulders, freeing up both of his hands, which he then used after crossing the room, to push her hood back, drag her mask down and cover her hips. The contact made her flinch and clench her jaw but it was soon dispelled when she saw the affection with which he looked at her. Her big, blue eyes were questioning him, urging him to make a move and he couldn’t resist.

He pulled her closer to him and brushed his lips over hers, the front of his hair tickled her forehead and the faint smell of smoke and leather filled her head and sent her into a helpless delirium while she waited for him to kiss her. Taken aback by him walking her backwards, she gasped when her shoulder blades pressed against the lovingly maintained record collection.

He tested her with tender kisses and soft flickers of his tongue over her lips and a fleeting thought crossed her mind.

How many other women has he done this with? Dude is a good kisser.

It made her question her own skills but so far, she’d not heard him complain during yet another tryst that neither of them had tried to stop. Her stomach hummed with nerves and excitement when he slowed everything down and unhurriedly enjoyed the sensation of kissing her. The movements of his lips and tongue were deep and leisurely but passionate and sensual and she started to feel things she had never felt before. Her breathing was turning heavy and she wanted to do this forever but between the electrifying excitement coursing through her veins and the simmering nervousness in the pit of her stomach, she could hear someone walking up the stairs. She broke away from him, her chest heaving and her lips glistening. Daryl just stared at her silently, as if she’d committed a crime by backing off. But he relished her flustered demeanor, knowing it was because of him.

She’s gettin’ brave. Might be the sexiest thing I’ve seen in my whole damn life.

With mere seconds to spare, Jess whirled around and began plucking Vinyl’s from the shelving as the door opened. Daryl quickly jolted the window, ripped his crossbow from his body and adopted the guise of keeping watch out of the window.

“Guys, why is the door shut?” Glenn asked as he casually walked in, knife in hand.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Jess thought. Be cool. I can be cool. I am cool. Nothing to see here. I just had something in my eye. Yeah. That’s right. Daryl was helping me out. Oh my god, seriously?! Glenn is not going to believe that crap. Ugh. Daryl, the one time I wish you could read my mind! Fly casual, Jess, you can do this.

“Oh, it must have closed on its own while Mr. Grouchy over there was bird watching and I was busy perusing the homeowner’s music taste. Check it out” She slid a vinyl from the shelf and held it aloft with a wide grin on her face “The Beatles! My favorite!”

Glenn shuffled closer and smiled at her. “Nice! This is a good one” he expressed, taking the record from her hand and turning it over. He scanned the track list and nodded in approval.

“Yeeeaaaah! Rubber Soul. Totally agree. A masterpiece” Jess chirped, pleased at her quick thinking and concealment of the true happenings in the room.

“Checked the perimeter? Sure I heard somethin’ outside.” Daryl grunted, interrupting them.

Ooh, somebody is not happy about being disturbed. Jess considered.

“I did, but I’ll go down there and check again.” Glenn offered, turning to Jess “Michonne’s almost done downstairs. We’ll meet you outside?”

“Yup. We’ll be right down. We’re just making sure we don’t miss anything, double checking, chilling. Y’know…flying casual.” She babbled with an overwhelming urge to cringe at her own words. She hoped with everything she had that her face was not echoing the sheer panic that was going on inside her.

Stop talkin’, Jess. Daryl willed from his spot at the window.

“Did you just make a Star Wars reference?” Glenn asked with a grin.

“Yes. Yes I… did?” She answered warily.

“Huh. Cool. See you downstairs.” Glenn responded casually.

He handed the record to Jess and she slotted it back into place and waited for him to leave before hazarding a sly peek at Daryl, who was nervously peering at her through his hair. He appeared shy and almost boyish in his bashful observation of her. She tried not to fixate on the unmistakable pink shade that glowed from the tops of his ears and across his nose. He was embarrassed and although everything in her wanted to point it out, just like he did to her, she refrained and opted instead to take a snapshot of the moment in her memory. The moment Daryl almost got caught kissing a girl in an abandoned house and blushed furiously.

‘Nice save” he offered in a thoughtful and quiet tone.

“Thanks. Here I am, taking life one panic attack at a time.” She sighed, crossing the distance between them and joining him at the window. She glanced outside, seeing the leaves of the trees fluttering in the breeze and the front lawns of the other houses in the street, littered with trash and abandoned vehicles. “I’m a good girl, we both know I’m a shitty liar.”

After her successful attempt to steer Glenn away from noticing anything incriminating, she was feeling rather proud of herself. So much so, that she didn’t even think before she curled her fingers around the lapel of his leather vest and pulled herself to him so she was able to catch his lips with hers and steal a small kiss. When he moved back slightly and looked down at her with his eyebrows furrowed, a flash of pure fear darted through her.

Aaannnddd here we are again with your mixed signals. Cut me a break here, Dixon.

He briefly turned to the window and squinted in the sun, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. Jess held her breath when he slowly looked back at her waiting and anxious face.

“Standin’ on my foot.” He finally smirked.

“Oh. Shit. Sorry.” She rolled her eyes and sighed at her clumsiness. Scolding herself internally but secretly happy that he didn’t back off because he didn’t want what she was giving him. Daryl clocked the self-berating look that flashed across her face and instantly felt regretful for saying anything. Without thinking, he raised a hand and stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. She inhaled sharply and he could see her muscles go completely still while he steadily traced his fingers over her skin, meeting her chin and dragging his thumb across her lower lip. His face displayed a kind of fascination and seriousness that told Jess his actions were very deliberate and so was the sexually charged way in which he had executed it.

Her eyelashes fluttered and to his surprise, she batted his hand away and crashed against him. The sound of her jacket slap against the leather of his vest echoed through the room. With her left hand, she gripped his bicep and with her right, she eased his crossbow from his grasp. He yielded and it clattered to the floor but the thick, lust filled intensity between them was too great a distraction for either of them to notice. Daryl sensed her hand work its way inside his leather vest, smoothing over the buttons of his shirt from his chest to his abdomen. He grunted but it wasn’t from the impact or the shock, it was from desire and Jess felt like all her birthdays had arrived at once.

Was that for me?! How am I doing this? There are Walkers out there that are sexier than me!

She was pleased, even proud of his reaction and as she continued to kiss him and ignore the slight nervousness and doubt that bubbled through her body. She was overwhelmed by how alive and safe he made her feel and got the impression that she did the same for him when he flicked her jacket open and held a hand to the middle of her chest, fingertips grazing the crook of her neck, sending an explosion of tingles to her limbs as he slowly drew the neckline of her T-shirt down. She was relived at the lack of panic and terror that she sometimes still felt from her close call with the group that attacked Alexandria. It was Daryl, not the hands of a stranger with ill intentions, not a life and death situation, no pain, no violence, just Daryl. But her anxiety at such a progression was still simmering below the surface and as much as she loved what was happening, she wasn’t sure exactly how far she was comfortable with taking things. Eventually, after journeying down the middle of her torso, he caught her belt loop with his finger. She gasped against him when he pulled at her jeans sharply.

For Daryl, such a spark between him and another soul was unheard of. Never in all his years did he expect to feel something so profound for someone else. It was exposing, revelatory and scary but with her fingernails dragging up and down his arm, her velvety lips working his and the warmth of her chest against his hammering heart, he could swear there and then that he didn’t want it to stop.

Locked in a state of pure bliss, the sound of voices outside miraculously caught Jess’s attention and she immediately thought of Michonne and Glenn waiting for them downstairs.

“D-Daryl…I…heard…” She tried to say, but his tongue dancing with hers silenced her and she didn’t have the willpower to resist. He groaned and the sound sent a powerful craving through her nerve endings.

Quit talkin’. Can’t hear ya with all those fuckin’ clothes on anyways.

As the situation accelerated, so did the sensation in his pants and his imagination was a vivid blur of lips and flesh and delicious curves. It had been a long time since he’d experienced such thoughts and although he couldn’t ignore the flicker of guilt in his mind for thinking of her in such a way, he was male and a red-blooded male at that. He struggled with the urge to whirl around and clear the desk in the middle of the room. But he quickly talked himself out of it for fear of scaring her or pushing her too far, too soon and try as he might, he couldn’t shake the fact that she had just tried to alert him and his gut told him something was amiss. He opened one eye just in time to see Glenn through the window, he appeared at the corner of the house in the yard below and was seconds away from seeing them.

Jess felt as though she’d been hit by a truck when Daryl shoved her away from the window and against the shelving on the opposite wall. Her eyes snapped open and she gawped at him, terrified that she’d done something wrong. Noticing her reaction, he quickly slipped a hand around her waist and placed himself back in her close proximity, resting his forehead on hers. Her breath tickled at his skin and he could hear the increase in her breathing. Not only did he have to take a moment to get over the panic of very nearly being caught again, but he also needed to allow the raging testosterone in his body to simmer down. He closed his eyes as he held her.

“W-what was that?” She whispered.

“Glenn.” He uttered “Almost saw us.”

She didn’t know what she was supposed to say or do. Between the two of them she figured she was the master of words and he the master of action. But in that moment, she had nothing, not a single idea that could uncloud the foggy, complicated issue of their secret encounters. She was defenseless in his grasp and with Michonne and Glenn wandering around and waiting for them, she struggled to decide if she was angry at the lack of clarity or delighted despite it. While she tried to find something to say, it was Daryl that finally spoke.

“Maybe you ain’t such a good girl” He rasped before tearing away from her and leaving the room. Jess released a long breath and thudded her head back against the records. Things had moved on more than she ever thought they would and all in the space of a few minutes. Her head was spinning and she could still feel him on her lips. She shook her head, terrified, exhilarated, astonished and worried. Worried about what it all meant, if it could be snatched away and if it wasn’t, worried about where it was going.

Having made it safely back to Alexandria without being caught out, Daryl and Jess headed to the Grime’s home where they bid Glenn a goodnight and watched as Michonne lifted Judith into the air and snuggled at her neck and face. The small child chirped and giggled with delight before Michonne set her down and she ran to Daryl, who was seated next to Jess on the porch. He reached down, hoisting Judith to his lap with considerable ease, as if she were as light as a feather. Jess set her boots on the fence in front of her and listened as Daryl opened up a book and began to read.

“Alright, kid, bedtime story time, listen up.” He began, shuffling back in his seat and wrapping an arm around Judith’s middle. She pawed at the book, eager to see the pictures. “Once upon a time, there were these thee lil’ pigs. They wanted money, like everybody else n’ his dog. So, off they went to find their fortunes. Before they went, their mom, she said to ‘em ‘whatever ya do, do your best because that’s how we get along in the world’. I dunno ‘bout you, but I’d say the ol’ girl was pretty good with advice. Anyways…”

Jess was grinning from ear to ear at Daryl’s rendition of the classic tale. Judith was already fascinated and by that point and was staring, wide eyed, sideways at Daryl with the fingers of one hand hooked into her mouth.

“The pigs, they built their houses. The first one? He built it outta straw ‘cause it was easy. The second one used Sticks ‘cause it was stronger n’ the third one used bricks. He was the smart one, ya can tell, right?”

Judith giggled at the question and Jess couldn’t help but laugh quietly as she watched the man that was once so unpredictable, so abrupt and rude, so angry and brash telling a tale to a little girl who looked at him like he was her favourite person in what was left of the crumbling world.

“Then, there was this wolf” he continued “We don’t like the wolf. The wolf is a bad guy ‘cause he likes to eat fat, little pigs. Can’t blame him, really. Bacon is real nice and one day, when you’re old enough, you can try pigs feet.”

“Wollf!” Judith cried, throwing her hands in the air.

“Wolf, yeah. So, this wolf knocks on the first pig’s straw house door and says ‘Little pig, little pig, let me in’. The pig, he’s all scared n’ n’ stuff he says ‘not by the hair of my chinny chin chin’. The wolf, he just laughs, ‘cause he’s an assh-a bad wolf. A very bad wolf and he huffs and he puffs and he blows the pigs house in. Then he eats him. Mmm, fresh bacon.”

“Daryl!” Jess chuckled. He looked up at see her beaming at him with great amusement.

“What? She don’t know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.” He argued.

“She will remember more than you give her credit for.” She told him.

“Alright, alright. So then, the wolf goes to the house made of sticks n’ he says all the same shi-stuff, I don’t need to say it all over again. He eats that pig because he’s just as dumb as the first one. Then he goes to the brick house. Now, that’s where the smart pig lives. He’s got a college degree n’ all that. The wolf says he’ll huff n’ puff and the Pig tells him to go to hell-”

“Daryl!” Jess exclaimed again, nudging him in the arm and feeling a rush of affection when he smiled back at her.

“He’s out there, givin’ himself a panic attack because he just can’t blow this damn house down n’ the pig is inside watchin’ the superbowl with a beer and bag of potato chips. He ain’t got no worries, ‘cause his house is made of bricks.”

Jess snorted and continued to laugh, she thought it was most definitely the most modern, redneck version of the three little pigs ever told and she made a mental note to go back to the fairground and write it down in her journal to make sure she never forgot it.

Judith wriggled on Daryl’s lap and he reached forward, flicking the pages to the end of the book.

“Now, listen, this is the good part. That wolf? He’s almost as smart as the pig n’ he decides to climb up to the roof and slide down the chimney. Seems like a good idea so he gets on in there and starts to climb down the hole. The pig is a smug motherfu-motherhugger n’ he lights a fire at the bottom and puts a pot of boiling water over it. The wolf gets to the bottom and gets his furry ass well and truly boiled while the pig points and laughs at him. What a douche bag, huh?”

“Kids going to be cussing like a sailor by the time she’s ten.” Jess remarked between laughter. Again, Daryl looked over Judith’s head at her, one side of his mouth lifting into another smile that she knew she was lucky to see. She was almost certain that she could count on one hand the amount of people that had been allowed to see Daryl smile so genuinely at them.

“The pig’s mom, she went to see the pig in the brick house and she said ‘just like I told ya, ya gotta do things the best ya can’ and the pig learned that lesson. But she didn’t ask about the other pigs, the ones that got eaten, she was all about the smart, smug pig n’ yeah, he did good. But the others, they were still her pigs too n’ they tried. Sometimes, even if ya ain’t got much, ya ain’t got the smarts or the money, all ya gotta do is try, kid.”

While Judith pestered Daryl for another modified story, Jess took a deep breath and looked out across the darkened town in an attempt to quell the raging, churning ball of feelings in her heart. She’d often thought that he’d done all he could to surprise her and that there wasn’t much else to him that she didn’t already know, but she was continually wrong and on that night, she unearthed his ability to be the best uncle he could to Judith and seeing him tell his story, with his own moral told her that one day, Daryl Dixon would make an incredible father.

The door clicked open behind them and Rick emerged dressed in a white T-shirt and sweatpants. After a manly high-five handshake between him and Daryl and a nod to Jess, He scooped up his daughter and took her inside.

“That was quite the story. I enjoyed that as much as she did” Jess commented with a smirk. He huffed and selected a cigarette from his pack, squinting as he lit it and expelled the smoke from his lungs. He thumped his boots up on the table and slid down in his seat, perfectly reclined and comfortable.

“Be good n’ I might let ya have one.” He said quietly between drags.

“What?” She questioned.

“Bedtime story.” He replied with a quick check of her expression.

“Oh” she wasn’t sure why, but shyness had crept in and was festering under the surface. From her earlier actions and bravery to push herself into getting what she wanted, she managed to muster the courage to throw a quick reminder at him and try her hand at flirting. “I’m not allowed. Apparently, I’m not such a good girl.”

He slowly turned his head to look at her, the both of them gradually lured into a restrained and knowing laughter while they glanced intermittently at each other. Jess had never seen him laugh in such a way before and as his shoulders juddered, he held his hand in front of his face, partially obscuring his chuckling. Smoke filtered up from the white stick between his fingers into a grey slither and Jess could see the faint tint of pink across his nose once more. They were interrupted by Carol stepping out onto the porch and noticing them grinning at one another.

“Am I interrupting something?” Carol inquired.

“No” Daryl responded, twisting in his seat and raising his eyebrows at the single, blueberry muffin she held in her hand. Straight away, Carol could see the change in him, how happy and relaxed he looked, it was a world away from how he presented when they’d first arrived in Alexandria and for that, she had to credit Jess. He swiftly plucked the muffin from her grasp and sniffed it.

“You had one this morning! That is for Jess.” Carol announced as she reached out to take it back from him. He dodged her and brought the muffin to his mouth, licking across the surface area on the top of the baked treat. Carol’s mouth dropped open while Jess stayed in a stunned silence.

“Daryl!” Carol scolded

“Snooze ya lose.” Daryl shrugged. “I licked it so, it’s mine”

“Someone wasn’t listening when I mentioned sharing this morning.” Jess commented.

“I’ll make you another” Carol assured Jess. She could tell by the dynamic between them that their friendship was closer than it had ever been and a big part of her hoped that Daryl had been brave enough to admit how he felt about his best friend.

“No need.” Jess assured her “The payback will be sweet enough.”

Clouds were rolling in and the sky had turned a dull pallet of grey on the following afternoon. Jess glanced around after entering the main gate and briefly stopped to talk to Abraham while she fastened the straps on her gloves. Daryl observed them from the living room window as he sipped piping hot coffee and tried to ignore Judith’s defiant screaming, a frequent reminder that baths were not on the top of her list of favorite things. On the street outside, Carl ambled past with Enid by his side although neither of them spoke. Enid held a backpack in her arms which she was busy sorting through while Carl was evidently trying not to give away his true feelings by staring at her too much. For the first time in his life, Daryl could relate.

He released an amused breath and took a sip of his coffee, his eyes finding Jess again and his Jealousy rising when she allowed Abraham to wrap her in a bear hug during which they both swayed back and forth. Despite the fact that he was almost completely convinced that she had not been kissing anyone else, he just couldn’t stuff down the envy he felt every time he was witness to the strong, overly friendly dynamic between her and Abraham.

Carl and Enid reached the corner of the street by the gate and Daryl noted Jess wave at them. They both returned her gesture before Enid broke away from Carl to run to another teenage boy who took her hand, kissed her cheek and led her away, leaving Carl swapping a defeated glance with Jess. She shrugged at him and said something that Daryl couldn’t make out. He finished up his coffee, slid the mug on the kitchen counter on the way out and headed straight for the gate.

Jess was making tracks to training when Daryl caught up with her. At first, no words were spoken and all that transpired between them was a brief smile and a lingering look. Jess thought about how she wished she knew what he was thinking, what he thought of her and what else could possibly happen behind closed doors. During the night, she’d woke with a start, coated in sweat and hyperventilating, trying to forget another nightmare that left her feeling fearful and vulnerable. She wished Daryl was there to hold her hand, to soothe her back to sleep and tell her it was all in her head. But the empty space beside her only seemed a lot bigger than usual. He was her safety, her security and her haven. If he wasn’t there, her demons could creep back in and take over.

Assuming he was accompanying her to training, she kept quiet and slowly ambled around the buildings to the training grounds at the back of the compound.

“S’gonna rain.” He mentioned out of nowhere.

“Mmhmm. Probably” She hummed.

Then, a hand was positioned on her arm and she was stopped. He eased her around to face him.

“Train with me.” He said.

“What are you talking about? We’re going to training?” She clarified, a little confused by what could have easily been mistaken for an order rather than a suggestion.

“Gotta learn to fight in all conditions, right?” He reasoned. He had a point; she’d only ever learned to fight and defend herself in bright sunshine and on ground that was dry and solid. Who knows when she would have to face an adversary that launched an attack in the middle of a storm or even worse, snow?

“Uh yeah?” She agreed.

“So, skip class n’ train with me”

Jess tilted her head to one side and regarded him with an air of suspicion. It was unusual of Daryl to be so demanding and so open about it and the way in which he carried himself appeared to be different on that particular day. He was somewhat determined and his hand that was still gripped around her forearm indicated that he was actually bordering on being pushy.

“Thanks, but I really should go to class. You should just come along too. We can talk to Deanna later about using the weather to time the next lessons. Get some variation in” She suggested, expecting him to give in and release her arm. But he didn’t, he held on firmly and quickly checked around them for any onlookers. Stepping closer, he slipped his hand further down her arm, reaching her glove, which he pushed past to her fingers. The skin where the fabric of her fingerless gloves stopped, lit up with the touch of his fingertips and Jess was well aware that if anyone were to appear at the corner of the houses on the way to training, they would see Daryl holding her hand as though they were a real couple.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say ya just don’t wanna be alone with me” He commented. He didn’t have a plan and his actions were more impulsive than ever after seeing her with Abraham and being driven to cement a wall between them. Ownership wasn’t something that Daryl wanted to impose on her, he knew he had no right due to his lack of explanation for the way in which their relationship had progressed, but it didn’t stop him thinking of her as his. She’d been his since the quarry when they’d sit on the RV or train in the woods and she was still his when she laughed and joked and enjoyed embraces with a bigger, bolder and more confident man. To Daryl, no one would compare to her and he told himself while in the throes of overwhelming jealousy, that Abraham may get to hug her, but he was not the one that got to kiss her when they were alone.

“Good job you know better.” Jess smiled thinly.

“So, you do wanna be alone with me?” He smirked. Her shy responses and awkwardness when faced with his mildly flirtatious remarks were something he knew he would never tire of. She brought out a surety in him that he didn’t know was there before he’d met her and if he was honest with himself, even if he did know of it, he would never have dared if he hadn’t overheard her admission that she liked him. The extent of his conversing with women before the turn only covered a basic greeting, the buying of a drink and enduring Merle’s incessant, graphic remarks to goad him into taking a female home. Now, he had control and he was going to do it his way.

What has gotten into him?! Jess thought. What is with the flirting?! I can’t flirt! Asshole is doing this on purpose.

“I…didn’t say that.” She corrected.

Finally, he let go of her hand as a young woman stepped into view and greeted them as she passed. Jess recognized her from training classes. When she was out of sight, Daryl moved closer still, until he was looking down into her blue eyes.

“Train with me.” He repeated.

She had to take a deep breath and compose herself before she could answer. The smell of leather and smoke only reminded her of the way he kissed her in the office of the house the previous day and it made her feel drunk on him. Having to keep a check on her feelings for him was proving to be quite the task when with every move he made, he confirmed to her that she was completely in love with him.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had an ulterior motive.” She chattered as casually as she could manage. “Your persistence is a little surprising”

“Maybe I do.” He shot back “Maybe I don’t. Go to the fairground with me n’ find out. Train with me.”

His use of the same phrase over and over and with such a steady resolve caused her to ponder the notion that he could be referring to training while meaning something totally different altogether. The idea had her torn. One the one hand it was exciting but on the other, terrifying.

If you are not willing to discuss what is going on here then I am not willing to consider anything past some enthusiastic smooching and the occasional wandering hand. No explanation, no entering the castle for you, buddy.

“Repetition will get you nowhere. You have no power over me, Stinky.” She dismissed, stepping back and continuing on her path.

“You sure about that?” he called after her.

When she glared back at him, her mouth involuntarily fell open at the sight. Jess constantly thought Daryl to be the most attractive man she’d ever seen and she spent so much time with him it was almost becoming normal that she ogled him and checked him out when she thought he wasn’t looking. But there were single moments throughout her day when the air would expel from her lungs and she caught herself suspended in a kind of trance while her mind went blank and she could only blink at what she considered to be the finest form of a man stood before her.

His hands were pushed into the pockets of his jeans, his exposed arms baring the ripples of his muscles in the cloudy daylight. One eyebrow was lifted and his lips were curled into the slightest of smiles.

Hooooot damn. I might just be looking at the sole reason for global warming, right here. I’d be a fool to say no to this.

“Fine.” She spat with a flinch and quick shake of her head. “But only because this broken record act is tiresome already.”

She stormed towards him, giving him the impression that she was being incredibly put out by his request. She lifted her mask to partially cover her face, knowing that the thought of rolling around in the mud with Daryl was already making her cheeks burn.

The seat padding of a chair made for a decent punchbag and Daryl, knowing not to underestimate Jess’s gusto and enthusiasm, was still taken a back by how much power and effort she put into her training. She was improving at a faster rate than he could ever have imagined and he could only put it down to her attack and her disinclination to find herself in the same horrendous situation for a second time. If she kept training the way she was and practicing enough, he would be looking at someone who’s fighting prowess rivaled his own. The only issue he could detect that held her back, was her own self-doubt.

She lunged at him, the heavy, relentless rain making her quest even more difficult. She kicked the padding with a loud, wet smack of her boot and sent him stumbling backwards, unable to recover quickly enough to withstand the series of punches that followed. He grunted and put all of his weight behind the pad, trying to drive her back but she kept going, finding the strength and fortitude from the memory of the attack and the subsequent nightmares to fuel her rampage. Her feet skidded in the thick mud of the saturated ground and her pants stuck fast to her legs.

Daryl began to duck and swerve her punches, confusing her and throwing what had morphed into a routine completely off balance. So much so, that she missed two kicks and opened herself up for a hefty bash from the padding. He blinked the rainwater from his eyes and flicked his hair from his face with a nudge of his head.

“Losin’ ya focus, girl.” He provoked from behind the leather, chair cushion.

Inside her own head, Jess’s focus was quite clear; use the confusion and helplessness that came with falling for someone that kissed her and refused to acknowledge it, and channel it into energy that was dispelled through controlled violence. It wasn’t just the attack that made her angry, Daryl made her angry too and along with that anger came a multitude of other emotions that left her with so much to think about, training was the only way she could use it to her advantage.

“C’mon, Jess!” He cried “Hit it harder…faster.”

With that, Jess paused with her hands balled into fists in front of her. Rain soaked her clothes and stuck the front of her hair to her forehead. She didn’t bother with her hood when it became so laden with surplus water that it was easier to concentrate without it. She tilted her head to the side and replayed his words in her head.

“Easy, Daryl. Are we still talking about fighting?” She questioned brazenly.

His eyebrows shot up and his lips curled at the edges. Taking advantage of his momentary distraction, she hit the pad with an uppercut that was delivered with all her might and resulted in him stumbling a lot more significantly than before. He huffed and prepared himself before charging at her. Thinking quickly, Jess moved into a sideways stance and ran back at him, barreling into him and growling as she forced him back. His boots left dragging tracks in the mud which rapidly filled with water and he considered that if he wasn’t too occupied with her witty question, he would have been better prepared for her onslaught.

Clever girl.

The two, short words were all he had time to think before he was barged further backwards, eventually ending up on his back in the mud. Jess seemed to carry on, tripping over him and hitting the concrete path with a loud scuffing sound as her body crumpled and she let out a piercing scream. Daryl flipped over and crawled to her as fast as he could, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Jess?! Jess?! Ya okay?!”

“M-My shoulder. Oh my god!” She croaked while clutching her upper arm and rolling onto her back. Her hair sank into the mud and she fought to catch her breath through the astonishing pain that radiated from her shoulder.

“Don’t move, don’t move.” He told her as he gently unzipped her jacket and tried to lift one side to get a look at the damage. She screamed with each slight movement as though her arm was being ripped off and Daryl had to grit his teeth to be able to soldier on through seeing her in so much agony. He coaxed her hand away and wrapped his fingers around hers. “I need to see. Alright? Squeeze my hand.”

His request was soon accepted and he almost regretted it when she gripped his hand like a vice and threatened to snap his bones with the strength born from her pain. She yelled at the top of her lungs as Daryl lifted her jacket again and peered inside at her deformed shoulder. He didn’t know if the water around her eyes was from the rain or tears but he suspected it was the latter when he sat back and refused to let go of her hand despite the discomfort it caused.

“Okay…it’s dislocated. I gotta get you inside the diner n’ outta the rain and I gotta do it fast. It’s gon’ hurt like hell, but you can do this, alright?”

Her eyes blinked continuously in an attempt to see through the rain and she nodded solemnly.

“Running at you was n-not…big or clever.” She quipped through her pain.

“Knocked me on my ass though, I’ll give ya that.” He mused.

The short distance to the diner felt like a marathon for both Daryl and Jess when he carried her through the slippery mud and heavy rain to the sound of her bellowing which did not cease until he bashed through the door and set her down on the rug in front of her bed.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. I gotta go see Denise. Pop this bad boy back into place.” She panted.

Her face, hair and almost all of her clothing was caked in a thick layer of mud and the rug around her was slowly developing a wet circle of rainwater around where she was sitting.

“Nah, no time. I can do it.” Daryl quickly responded.

She looked up at him as he shrugged his wet and dirty leather vest from his shoulders and left it on the diner’s counter top. Rolling his ripped shirt sleeves up halfway, he noticed her uneasy expression.

“How do you know how to do that?” she wanted to know.

“Told ya before, been in a few scraps in the past.” Was his mumbled and vague reply.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” She pressed.

His shoulders sagged and he let out a long breath, leveling his gaze at her in the dull room that was lit only by lanterns hanging on the wall. The weather outside meant that any gaps in the window barriers failed to let in much light and Jess had to reply on other means of light when she was home.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Yes.” She answered without hesitation.

“So, let’s not waste time. C’mon, lay back.” He ordered, clapping once and pointing to the floor beside her.

“Wait…wait…You’re not going to make it worse? What if you do it wrong?” She argued.

Daryl pulled a wooden box across the rug and sat down in front of her, leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees. He clasped his hands together, rubbing them slowly and thoughtfully and choosing his words carefully in the knowledge that the last thing he wanted to do was lose his temper with her.

“Jess, the longer ya leave this, the worse it gets. I’ve done this twice for Merle and once on myself with no fucker to help me.” He explained. So please, lay the fuck back n’ let’s get this done.”

Her breathing was still labored, the discomfort was etched on her face and yet, she somehow managed a wry smile.

“That’s confidence. I bet you do crossword puzzles in ink, too.” She commented.

He shot her a baffled look and knelt down beside her with a hand at her back. He eased her down gently and tried his best to ignore the trembling of her limbs from both the dampness of her clothing and the throbbing in her shoulder. She hissed an exhalation through her teeth when he took hold of her wrist with one hand and her elbow with the other.

“Ready?”

“Mmhmm”

He took a second to focus and gradually started to pull on her arm. Hauling the joint back into place bit by bit. Jess screamed until she was hoarse and her throat turned raw.

“HOOOLYSHITMOTHERFUCKER!”

“Almost there”

“FUCK! STOP! I cantfuckingtakeitohmygod!” she breathed.

“Don’t be a pussy, Jess. Just a little more” he insisted.

“Shitohshitohshit!”

It took less than a minute but to Jess it was a lifetime before her shoulder finally clamped back into place and she stopped yelling. Relief flooded her body and she was shocked at just how swiftly the pain diminished. Despite its absence, she still needed to collect herself and remained on the floor in the aftermath while Daryl got up and began rooting around her home. A loud ripping sound meant she dragged herself into a sitting position and noticed him tearing up a T-shirt.

“Hey! That is a Bucky Barnes shirt, you animal!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah, yeah. Quit complainin’.” He muttered to himself, setting to tying a knot in the ripped shirt and holding it up to survey his efforts. He did a double take at her helplessness on the floor. The mud on her face was drying and cracking and he figured from the state of her skin that when she hit the floor and skidded, dirt collected and was shoved inside her clothing, covering her chest and arms.

“Ya look like a chocolate sundae.” He remarked.

“I’ll wash it off.” She sighed, pushing her fingers into her hair and making a disgusted face at the sheer quantity of the grainy substance that was coating her scalp.

“Ya can’t. Not by yourself. You gotta keep that arm still.” Daryl protested.

“I can do it with one arm.” She reasoned casually, confident of her abilities even if she did only have one, working arm.

“Can’t risk makin’ it worse, you could have pulled muscles n ripped tendons n’shit. I’ll help ya wash it off.”

Panic descended upon her and she stared down into her lap. Her mind was racing and her skin prickled at the thought of having to get undressed in front of the one man whose opinion meant everything to her. Being so exposed in front of another person was not something Jess had experienced much in her life and the thought made her blood run cold.

I can’t. I can’t do this. Please don’t make me do this.

“No. It’s okay. Really, I’ll be fine.” She tried to assure him.

“Jess, I know it feels better now but when ya get up n start movin’ around, it’s gonna hurt like a sommbitch for a while. Ya can’t sit around caked in dirt for days until it heals n’ you can get Aaron’s place for a shower. Shoulder’s all tore up on the top, too. Need to clean it up. Just let me help ya.”

Jess’s self-consciousness went way beyond her awareness of herself and reached into the realms of how others saw her. Having lost so much weight and during the end of the world, her need to concern herself with the opinions of most people had faded, but Daryl was the one that mattered and having him think less of her for her appearance was a notion that made her feel nauseous. She still had curves built into an hourglass shape and was a long way away from a supermodel. But he wasn’t giving up. Standing over her with his eyes locked on hers, he wasn’t about to yield and let her have her way. He cared too much about her to leave her to struggle with one arm, an open wound and so much mud to contend with.

“I don’t want to… get naked” He admitted quietly.

She heard him let out a breath that sounded as if he’d been holding it in and he sank back down onto the wooden box with a careless thud.

“Ya ain’t gotta. I’ll help ya take off the first layer, get that shit outta ya hair n’ clean that scrape on the front of ya shoulder.”

She mulled it over, trying to see in her mind’s eye what the scene could look like. She thought back to when she’d dressed and what she’d selected as her under layer of clothing and if it was substantial enough to cover her most disliked parts. It wasn’t, but he did have a point. Making her shoulder worse was not an option when she had hunting to do, supply runs to join and training to commit to. She hadn’t lied to him; she did trust him and that trust was about to be put to the test.

“I ain’t gonna touch ya like that. I promise.” He suddenly said from nowhere. Jess’s face hardened and he pointed at him with her good arm.

“No!” She snapped “You are not to say things like that, remember?! I know you wouldn’t do that.”

He rubbed at his face, clearing some of the dirt that had dried there and leaving a single, large smudge across his left cheek.

“Then what are ya worried about?” He asked, receiving nothing but a dramatic sigh in response. It was the closest thing he’d had to an honest conversation addressing anything further than their friendship and although it made him highly uncomfortable, the topic was necessary. “I’ma be real straight with ya here; ya shouldn’t kiss me if ya ain’t comfortable around me”

Not comfortable with him? I am. I am comfortable. Aren’t I? He’s the only person I can be me around. He’s the only one I’m a total dork with and he doesn’t judge me for it. He’s the one I kiss. He’s the one I fell for. I am comfortable with him, I’m just not comfortable with him thinking less of me because I’m not perfect. I’m just… me.

“Oh, shut up. I’m only comfortable with you. You’re like the sweatpants of my life” She scoffed. “Okay, fine. Let’s do this. There’s water in the back. The stove works, we can boil it.”

He nodded and leaned down to her, wrapping his arms around her ribs and lifting her to her feet. In the back of the diner, the kitchen area was vast and filled with shiny, metal surfaces that had obviously been cleaned by a house-proud Jess. The air was cold and Daryl made a mental note that his task was going to have to be performed swiftly as well as accurately to avoid her freezing half to death.

She stood silently in front of him as he set a large pot of water on the stove and switched it on. Both lips were sucked into her mouth and she felt dread in every part of her body and her fingers frantically drummed on her thigh. He turned to her, seemingly unbothered by the unusual nature of the situation and unbuckled her belt. He then popped the button on her pants and lowered the zip. Moving to her jacket next, he peeled it from her shoulders, she winced and cried out in pain when she had to remove her arm from the sleeve and backed away, shaking her head and catching her breath. Daryl let her be and could see from her screwed up face that she needed a minute to ride out the wave of pain. He didn’t expect it, but she soon came back to him, readying herself mentally for the removal of what was the key layer of clothing. He avoided her gaze while he lifted her vest top from her torso, over her uninjured side first and discarding it on the counter. Her top half was now only covered by a thin, spaghetti strapped, black top and a sports bra with straps that were now stained with dirt. Her skin was cold and boasting goosepimples already and a shiver shook down her spine.

Daryl slipped his index fingers into the waistband of her pants at her hips and pulled them down. She gingerly stepped out of them and felt her skin flare from the cold exposure as she stood there in her black panties with her head turned away from him. He didn’t ogle her, didn’t let his eyes linger for too long or on one spot, nor did he treat her with anything other than respect and dignity.

“C’mon.” He uttered, taking her hand and guiding her further into the diners kitchen, closer to the pot of hot water and the sink. In his pocket, he carried the ripped shirt she had told him off for ruining. He paid it no mind, confident that she would get over it quickly enough when she got to wear it as a sling.

When he switched the stove off just before boiling point, Jess snatched up a sponge from the sink, dunked into the water and began a valiant attempt to clean herself off with her good arm. But Daryl put an abrupt stop to it by clamping his hand around her wrist and halting her.

“No. Let me. The less ya move the better.” He expressed.

Taking the sponge from her grasp, he took a deep breath to quell his own nerves. Nerves he hadn’t expected to feel but that were there nonetheless. On the inside, his head was jumbled with thoughts but on the outside, he was calm and collected.

She’s nervous as a turkey at thanksgivin’. But she trusted you with this and that’s a big deal so don’t fuck it up. Don’t look at her too long. She's pretty as all get out but you ain’t no creep.

He ran the sponge along her arms and across her neck and lessened the pressure when cleaning the grit from the angry scrape along her collarbone and shoulder. Jess said nothing but he could hear her shaky breathing as if it were broadcast through a megaphone.

“Ya covered in it.” He muttered.

Mud had entered her jacket through her neckline and her throat was encrusted before Daryl rid her of it and paused his work. Not giving her a choice, he moved closer, wrapped his arms around her middle and hoisted her into the air as if she weighed nothing. She gasped at the action but conceded, allowing him enough trust to do as he needed.

“Lean back a little?” he asked.

She used her stronger arm to anchor herself and did as she was asked, dangling her hair over the sink. Dunking the sponge back into the water, he squeezed it over her hair and watched as the mud turned everything a murky color, leaving a residue in the sink behind her. She couldn’t help but hold her breath when he ran his fingers through her hair and massaged her scalp and if she wasn’t half dressed and vulnerable, she would have wanted the sensation to last a lot longer. His touch was soothing and she wanted to sigh in delight, to revel in the moment but her lack of clothing and the ache in her bones stifled her enjoyment.

Moving in front of her, he wiped mud from her hairline and she involuntarily caught his eye. Unable to tear her vision away, she realized that he too was paralyzed and stuck staring at her. He swallowed hard and his lower lip quivered subtly. After having shown so much trust and allowing herself to be looked after while being so vulnerable, Daryl could not quite believe how far their friendship had progressed, or if it even was a friendship anymore. Maybe it was stuck somewhere in-between because the look in her eyes told of her unwavering faith in him and that made his stomach flutter and his heart race and he was sure that he had never and would never feel something so strong with anyone else.

You got beautiful eyes, girl.

A small flinch from Daryl broke the atmosphere and he continued with his mission, soon clearing her hair and skin of mud and helping her dress in warm, clean clothing. She’d snorted with laughter when he delicately positioned her arm into the tied up Bucky Barnes shirt and immediately forgave him for butchering one of her T-shirts.

“Thank you” She whispered at him as he adjusted her sling.

“Stop.” He grumbled.

She didn’t need to ask him to stay that night, a knowing stare was all it took to transfer the message that he didn’t want to leave her and she needed a night without the possibility of a nightmare in order to get some decent rest for her recovery. He arranged her pillows and helped her to settle into a position she was unlikely to move from and sat up beside her, not drifting off himself until he was certain she’d slipped into a deep sleep.

In the middle of the night she whimpered and his eyes snapped open. Unable to move her, he chose the next best option which was to shift closer and onto his side, his body flush with hers and his lips next to her ear on the pillow. His fingers found hers at her side and her restlessness began to subside.

“You’re safe with me. I got you. Always.”

--- tagging as requested ---

@lilred254 @woundmetender @lonewolf471

#daryl #daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

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Something personal

This morning I woke up with some really horrible news. My sister-in-law who has been battling lung cancer passed away last night. She had been in the hospital for a while after her heart rate dropped. (She had been through surgery and chemo).

She had a rally and was taken out of CCU just a few days ago. My brother was able to Facetime her and she was in good spirits. They’d even talked about rehab when she got out.

Around 2 am, she passed.

My heart breaks. I admit. I did the ugly cry. We were looking forward to a big reunion when we all went on a cruise together in November for my parent’s 50th anniversary. She was going to be my lounge buddy and show me all the ropes of cruising.

Because of this stupid virus, he couldn’t be with her and we can’t be down there with him.

Rona, you fucking suck!!!!

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

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This Time Around - Chapter 25

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 28/?

Daryl was rarely around long enough in the house to be roped into chores but when Carol was on a mission there was little he could do to escape. She’d throw him an unimpressed expression that told of dire consequences should he take another step towards the door. He knew better than to argue with Carol, she always had a way of talking him around and more often than not, he admired her headstrong and determined attitude.

The task in question on this occasion was the dishes, having piled up from breakfast and he’d tried to beat a hasty retreat, hot on the heels of Rick and Michonne as they raced for the front door. But her voice saying his name in the stern manner she used when he was in trouble split through the air and halted him in his tracks. He turned just in time to catch a dish towel that was flying through the air and to see her motion towards the huge pile of dripping dishes on the drainer. He sighed, not bothering to hide the fact that he’d rather be doing anything else than household chores and started picking up bowls and drying them.

“How is Jess?” Carol asked casually while flitting around the kitchen and screwing the lids back on jars at the kitchen island.

His suspicions spiked straight away. It wasn’t as if he’d forgotten about the fact that he’d kissed Jess. That he’d kissed her and she’d kissed him back. That she seemed happy about it and so was he and he’d lay awake during the small hours thinking about how it was the best kiss of his life. But how could Carol know about that? Why was she asking about Jess all of a sudden? Why did she assume he knew about Jess’s current state? Paranoia consumed him as he cleared his throat and attempted to keep his answer flippant and breezy.

“She’s alright. Why?” He grunted.

She carried three coffee cups to the sink, turned the faucet on and rinsed them out. Steam from the hot water that no one now took for granted swirled up into the air and she made quick work of using such a precious commodity.

“That attack. The way she ran afterwards. The dark circles under her eyes.” She explained as she passed him the first cup to dry. “I’m concerned about her.”

“She’s fine.” He reiterated quickly, almost cutting her off.

“She’s skittish too.” She continued, very deliberately opting to bombard him with conversation on the topic. “I don’t think I’ve seen her settle into a task for a while. She doesn’t stay here long. Why is that?”

He dropped his hands, a coffee mug wrapped in the dish towel and glared at her. Now visibly irritated, his veil of indifference was thinning considerably and he found himself becoming uncontrollably and increasingly shifty.

“Why you even askin’ me? I ain't her damn keeper.” He snapped.

“No, but you are her person.” Carol pointed out. She shut off the water and balanced the remaining two coffee cups on the drainer.

“Person? What are you talkin’ ‘bout?” He questioned, confused by the term she’d used and what it meant. The timing of the conversation was still causing him concern and he was starting to wonder if anyone had seen them at the gate of the fairground the night before.

“You’re the one she trusts. Has she said anything to you?” She wanted to know.

“No, alright?!” He retorted “Why the hell d’ya think I know so much about her?! What’s with the interrogation? Shit.”

Daryl didn’t normally lie but it was a small mistruth to placate her and stop her from firing questions at him. Hoping she would change the subject or even better, cease talking altogether, he continued to dry the cups and thudded them on the counter with more force than was necessary.

“OK” Carol hushed with a small and telling smile. “OK.”

Guidance on the complex and treacherous issue that was the relationship between Jess and Daryl was something he couldn’t deny he needed, but he was not about to broadcast his feelings to the world and run around asking everyone for advice. If there was one person he could confide in, it was Carol, but the timing was off and he was still reeling from his actions the previous night when he seemed to experience a surge of pure courage and a personality transplant from absolutely nowhere which led him to commit an act that was so out of character, so unheard of that he shocked himself as well as Jess. He needed to process it, to figure out what it meant and being a private person, he wanted to keep it very much under wraps. It wasn’t as if Carol had never referenced there being something more to his fondness of Jess, he’d even admitted as much and as far as he could tell, she’d not breathed a word to a soul. The more he thought about it, the more guilt he felt for being so snappy and argumentative and therefore, decided to give her something to satisfy her curiosity.

“Look, she’s just havin’ a hard time sleepin’. I’m keepin’ an eye on her though.” He admitted.

“Good. She must talk to Denise if it’s anything more than that.” She advised.

“I know. I know that. I can take care of her.” He felt the need to point out.

Taking care of a friend, something he’d not had to deal with in his life due to his friendship group being incredibly small, was made all the more complicated by that friend being someone he’d crossed a line with, someone he’d discovered had feelings for him and someone he’d kissed. For a long time, all he’d wanted to do was take care of her and saying it aloud almost made him smile, but he hid it behind his stoic mask.

“So, you admit, you are her person.” Carol smirked at him as she leaned on the counter and took the dish towel from his hands.

“Whatever.” He shook his head before turning to walk away from her.

“Have you kissed her yet?” She asked out of the blue.

Daryl stopped and held his breath before it dawned on him how guilty it made him look. He sighed once more and closed his eyes momentarily. “What the hell?” he whispered to himself. Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed her grinning back at him. “Leave it alone, Carol.”

Her wide smile only grew larger when she saw a glimmer of shyness in him, the kind of shyness that a person shows when they have a precious secret that they want to keep to themselves, but also want to announce from the rooftops because it fills them with excitement and glee. He’d not said yes or no and so, she knew, she didn’t have to press him any further. Not yet, anyway.

Jess was exhausted. But this time, it wasn’t a result of nightmares. It was because every time she closed her eyes, her thoughts wandered to Daryl and how he’d made a move on her and kissed her. In her wildest dreams she imagined scenarios in which it would happen, each one feeling more unlikely than the last, like it would never materialize in reality and she only dared to entertain such ideas. Then, he put his hands on her face and brought his lips to hers and her world changed in a split second. She’d tossed and turned, sat up, got a drink and tried to write it all down in her journal but only got as far as three words before her head started spinning again and she failed to fight yet another beaming grin.

‘Daryl kissed me.’

But underneath it all was the creeping doubt that it had all been a mistake, that he would admit he didn’t mean it and that it wasn’t going to happen again. She wasn’t the girl that got kissed or was wanted by men like Daryl. Or, by anyone that she could recall. The idea that her feelings may be reciprocated for once in her life was too far fetched for her to pin too much hope on. But she had a nice memory nevertheless and no matter what happened, she would always remember that Daryl Dixon had kissed her and not only did it make her weak in the best of ways, it gave her perspective. Now Daryl had shown her, after such a horrifying experience at the hands of disgustingly eager strangers, that tenderness and desire from the right person could do wonders to help her move forward.

Following a short visit to Deanna’s house, Jess wandered slowly towards the gate holding her bow in her hands and squinting at the splintering wood at the ends. It was wearing away and soon, she would need a new one. The weather, being immersed in water while hiding in the stream with Daryl and continuous use had taken its toll and she accepted that sooner rather than later, she would need to try and replace it. She picked at the wood with her fingertips, discarding the sharp bits as she walked, until she came to an abrupt stop in front of a battered pair of boots. Slowly, she raised her gaze to find Daryl standing inches from her.

“Uh, hi” She uttered. Her nerves lit up and her whole body was rapidly engulfed with a shaky sensation. Her voice was nothing more than a whisper and she quickly noted that she must have appeared totally terrified. She swallowed hard and pulled herself together.

He looks gorgeous. How dare he.

“Hey” He said in his usual raspy tone. If he felt anywhere near as uneasy as she did, he wasn’t showing it. Jess tried not to panic but having never dealt with such a long awaited and much coveted situation before, she had no idea how to proceed. Her mouth opened and closed again and Daryl just watched at her blankly as she gawped at him with her bow gripped so tightly in her hands that her knuckles were turning white.

Say something. Oh my god! SAY SOMETHING, JESS!

“Nice weather today. Better than yesterday. Was...too hot. Way too hot.” She blurted out. The words tumbled from her lips, laced with regret and embarrassment. She didn’t know what she was supposed to say or how she was supposed to act and she was self-aware enough to know that if she let her instincts take over, she would end up babbling about the weather for hours or running away like a scared animal.

The weather. Smooth, Jess.

“Yeah real nice.” He replied. He pushed his lips into a thin line and nodded subtly at her and with that small gesture, came her first clue that he was a little unsettled after all.

“Are you… are you OK?” She tried, not sure exactly what she meant but going with it anyway.

“Yeah” He answered as he quickly looked over his shoulder towards the Grime’s house. “M’fine. You?”

“Mmhmm” She hummed. It was high-pitched and she almost ran at how gawky and inelegant she was presenting as.

“You sleep?” He asked.

“Uh, N-No. At least it wasn’t because of the nightmares this time.” She paused, shocked at her intense and sudden need to address the issue hanging over their heads. She figured it didn’t have to be a huge conversation, she just needed to know where she stood and it would mean she could go about the rest of her day without feeling terrified of looking him in the eye. “Look, about last night-”

“-Don’t” he warned

“Don’t what?” She asked in surprise at how quickly he’d stepped in to put a stop to her touching on the subject.

“Just…don’t.” He repeated.

Jess was baffled, did he really expect her to be able to just carry on with her life without some kind of explanation or clue as to what such a lingering and passionate kiss did or didn’t mean to him? He wasn’t a great talker with anyone else, but with her he was different. He told her things that he didn’t tell anyone else. She was sure he trusted her, so the flat denial when she tried to address the issue was hopelessly confusing to her. She knew better than to ignore him and keep talking, but she wasn’t about to let him get away with saying nothing. The man she loved had kissed her and initiated it, she needed a snippet, just something to go on before her mind went into overdrive and she involuntarily began to prepare for some kind of eventual speech in which he would say that he didn’t mean to kiss her and that he didn’t like her like that. Or, would he? She hoped she wouldn’t have to deal with the agonizing disappointment of a one-time thing.

“Will you just answer me one question? Please?” She pleaded.

He carefully studied her face, his vision skimming down to her lips. The same lips he’d kissed so eagerly the night before. Time passed as he focused on them but he didn’t care, he loved how he’d managed to silence her and make her giggle and smile. He loved the way she clung to him and the small whimper that escaped her, making him wonder how he’d even managed to instill such a good feeling in another person. He had the mind to kiss her again there and then if the town wasn’t full of curious eyes and gossip addicted ears. He also hadn’t thought about what would happen now and every time he tried, he came to the same conclusion; that Jess could do a lot better and shouldn’t be wasting her time on him.

“Was it… a mistake?” Her voice was low and her tone laden with trepidation, as if she was about to hear something she really wasn’t going to like. Daryl wanted to grab her and shake her for not being able to see what he did when he looked at her and he hated that she seemed to be assuming that he regretted his actions. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t know how. But she did deserve an answer to her question. He stepped closer to her with his head dipped and one hand resting on the handle of his knife at his belt. He checked the street over her shoulders before shifting his gaze and looking her in the eye through his messy hair.

“No” he whispered.

Her eyebrows shot up and her mouth fell open. He was right, it wasn’t what she was expecting at all and he thought, for a split second that he saw a brief flicker of fear cross her features. Jess’s head quickly filled up with more questions, more reasons to push him to just tell her what he wanted, what it all meant from his point of view. But it worked both ways, if Daryl was expected to disclose such information, then so was she and she would then be forced to admit her true feelings for him ran a lot deeper than that of a small crush. Still, she was gobsmacked. Rendered almost speechless from his tiny, one-word, hushed answer. He wasn’t lying and she knew it. He wouldn’t lie to her, especially not while looking her square in the eyes. No, it had to be something else; maybe he’d lost his grasp on sanity and finally succumbed to the horrendous things he’d seen and done to survive at the end of the world. Maybe he wasn’t in his right mind and some kind of head injury had affected his judgement. She had no idea, but there had to be some kind of explanation as to why Daryl had kissed her because, in her opinion, the chances of him feeling the same way about her were slim to none.

“Oh.” She uttered, pinning her lower lip under her teeth. “Okay.”

I should ask him what he meant when he said it wasn’t over. But that’s two questions and I only asked for one. Can I just ask two? Is that how this works? God dammit!

Then, she saw the corner of his mouth curl up into a subtle and devastatingly sexy smile and she dragged in a deep breath. Other than that, she couldn’t move, couldn’t speak and could just about blink. Her mind emptied of thoughts. She could have stood there for hours just looking at him smile at her like that. The shy way his eyes flickered around before falling back to hers stirred butterflies in her stomach. She would have given anything to have the means to snap a photo of him in that moment.

Daryl couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She was immobile and gazing up at him like he’d grown an extra head. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open. He thought it to be adorable and couldn’t help but smile at her when he pondered that she really was shocked by what was happening. Unexpectedly, he felt as though he had a certain amount of control despite not having a single clue what he was doing. He’d managed to swerve a conversation he couldn’t yet have without making her angry and he’d also managed to somehow get across that whatever was or wasn’t going to happen between them, he didn’t think kissing her was a mistake.

When she finally managed to speak, it sounded like her voice had all but vanished. “This is awkward. I don’t want it to be awkward.” She expressed quietly.

Still smiling, Daryl began to back up while still keeping her eyes locked with his. He briefly scratched at the back of his neck and shifted the crossbow strap on his shoulder.

“Don’t make it awkward then.” He smirked before turning and walking towards the gate. Rooted to the spot, Jess stayed where she was, reeling and trying to understand when everything shifted and why Daryl was so casual about it all instead of reacting with revulsion and terror. Having lost control of her feelings, her facial expressions and apparently, her very mind, Jess headed over to Aaron and Eric’s place.

She didn’t intend to spend more than an hour or so visiting Aaron and Eric, but their couch happened to be so comfortable and her bones were so heavy with fatigue that she was soon fast asleep with her face shoved into her screwed up jacket. Eric covered her with a blanket and left her to it while Aaron explained to him that the attack was having lasting consequences for her, namely that she was finding it hard to relax and sleep.

After two hours of nightmare-free sleep, Jess awoke and blinked the slumber from her eyes. For a second, she forgot where she was and instinctively went to grab for her knife until she recognized the room and thumped her head back on her jacket. The absence of a nightmare didn’t mean the absence of a dream and she closed her eyes and willed herself back to sleep so she could slip, effortlessly back into the world inside her subconscious that meant she and Daryl were alone in the apartment she had before the turn, entwined on the couch as cars beeped and revved their engines in the traffic below. The turn hadn’t happened and Jess was curled against his body, reading a book on her side while he spooned her from behind and snoozed peacefully with a hand rested on her bare thigh below her shorts. The windows were open and a breeze billowed against the drapes, a breeze that brought with it the smell of summer and the rustling of bright green leaves in the trees below. On the nightstand were cups of steaming coffee that had been put off in favor of ten more minutes of just being still and together. It was the perfect picture; Daryl’s vest hung on the back of a chair in the kitchen, a dragon door knocker on the front door chosen by Jess and on the coffee table were the keys for his bike and a pack of cigarettes. His hair was messy from the pillow and his face was totally relaxed when she gradually rolled over to look at him. She traced her fingertips along his exposed upper arm and he stirred, his eyes opening and his face breaking into a soft smile. He tried to speak but nothing came out, his brow furrowing at the lack of sound. Jess attempted to ask if he’d lost his voice but she too was noiseless. Both of them were unable to speak but after a few seconds, neither of them cared when he kissed her soft lips and she dragged him closer, flush with her body.

Slipping back into such a fantasy turned out to be nigh on impossible once she’d left it but her stomach still fluttered with the idea, with the wish that one day, something similar might happen now she had known the sensation of his kiss and his fingers holding onto the side of her face. Such a wish was a dangerous one so soon, but it was the price she had to pay for being in love with him. She groaned against her jacket and pushed up from the couch, her eyes immediately meeting Eric’s, who was sitting on an armchair reading opposite her. He made a comment about her being like a narcoleptic but assured her that their home was always open to her if she felt she could sleep better. She thanked him after half listening and rubbed at her eyes.

“Are you hungry? We’re about to have lunch” he asked.

She nodded silently and he got to his feet, taking her hand and hoisting her up from the couch. He beckoned her to follow him, the smell of something appealing wafted through her nose as she approached the kitchen. Then, she stopped at the door, unable to proceed any further. Her body language closed up and she solemnly lowered her head. When Eric enquired what was wrong, she mumbled to him that she couldn’t bring herself to go into the room. Aaron, who overheard from the kitchen table, didn’t need to be told what the issue was before he was racing towards the doorway and placing a hand on her shoulder in comfort. It was the first time she’d been near the room she was attacked in and everything was still a little too raw.

“It’s okay. We don’t have to stay in here.” He soothed “Eric? Why don’t we take everything outside and eat on the front porch?”

“Right. Of course. It’s a nice day, may as well.” He chirped back.

Jess, touched by their understanding and effort, mouthed a noiseless ‘thank you’ to Aaron and retreated to the porch, where she noticed that Daryl had volunteered for guard duty on the gate. It was rare to see him on guard duty at all, let alone during the day and not in the tower and she thought it typical that after their kiss and her detailed dream, he was going to be standing there, right in her sight line as she ate lunch with her friends.

Cutlery clinked against plates and regular conversation was had between Aaron and Eric while Jess pushed her food around her plate and glared across the grass verge in front of the house at Daryl, who was leaning against the fencing at the top of the gate, smoking a cigarette and keeping a close eye on the road that lead to the town. He knew she was there and looked over at her occasionally, at one point playfully flipping her the bird which she quickly threw right back at him.

Aaron and Eric swapped a grin at Jess’s more than obvious vigil and Aaron cleared his throat loudly in order to capture her attention. Jess turned her head to see them both displaying wide smiles. It dawned on her that the whole time she’d been sat with them, she’d not only failed to utter a single word, she’d also not even looked at them. She huffed a huge sigh of annoyance and slammed her knife and fork down on the table, making them both flinch.

“Why’s he gotta do that? Why is he on guard today? Why pick today? He’s never on guard during the day.” she babbled.

“Why’s that a problem?” Eric asked.

As she spoke, she picked up her fork again and stabbed aggressively at the salad on her plate

-Stab- “Why is that a problem?! Why is that a problem, Eric?! Have you seen him?" -Stab- "Do you have eyes? He’s over there, minding his business..." -Stab- "…and looking like a damn snack. Could have at least covered the arms up." -Stab- "Lord above.”

Reaching the end of her sentence, she shoveled a huge forkful of food into her mouth. Chewing messily, she wound the piece of metal cutlery around in the air and sighed at the sight of Daryl, harmlessly standing on watch. Eric couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing with raised eyebrows at her blatant honesty and wiped his mouth with a napkin before dragging his chair closer to the table.

“Um, have I missed something here?” He inquired.

“Oh, yeah.” Aaron answered “ Jess is in love with Daryl” his tone was nonchalant and he barely even looked up, figuring that if Jess was willing to be so blatant about her thoughts then he was allowed to speak the truth. Jess paid it no mind and continued to stare at Daryl.

“Wait… what?!” Eric exclaimed, baffled by the fact that no one seemed to be making a big deal out of something that sounded very much like a big deal to him.

“Mmhmm” Jess hummed casually while shoving a carrot in her mouth on the end of her fork. “And it’s hell.”

Eric blinked at her and slowly looked to his side at Aaron, who was finishing up the last of his meal. He met his eye and received a careless shrug that signaled to him that if he wanted to know anything more, he should just ask.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that. Has anything happened between you guys?” He wanted to know.

Somehow, she became even more still as a white lie formed in her mind. She peered down at her plate and sheepishly reached out for her drink without even looking up. She gulped water down and placed the glass back, aware that she’d taken a long time to answer.

“No”

She almost choked on her drink when she spat out the word. Something had very much happened but she didn’t want to betray Daryl’s trust by telling anyone and also didn’t want anyone to know anyway in case it all fell apart and she was left embarrassed and feeling like a fool.

Aaron, who picked up on the shifty way in which Jess replied to Eric, put his fork down and studied her expression.

“Did you do it? Did you kiss him again?”

Eric jolted and his head snapped to the side at Aaron before swinging back to Jess, who was looking extremely guilty.

“You kissed Daryl?!” He exclaimed.

“Yes. No. Yes. Ugh.” She complained. Her shoulder blades hit the backrest of the chair and she crossed her arms over her chest, irritated and defensive. “I don’t want to talk about it.” she snapped childishly while jutting her lower lip out.

“I’ll explain later.” Aaron assured Eric while Jess scowled over at Daryl, who by that point, had noticed her interest in him and turned his back in order to conceal a small laugh.

That night, Jess ventured to the pantry to stock up on the basics. She took her time, picking items from the shelf and arranging them neatly in a box held close to her body with one arm. It was a weekly routine, sometimes two weekly if she ate at Aaron and Eric’s and managed to make what she had at the fairground stretch. More often than not, she would take advantage of the soups and various meals some people would make in large quantities for the community as donations to the pantry. Such gestures would keep her fed for a couple of days without having to tap into her own supplies too much.

The vegetable patch at Alexandria was thriving and Jess had even helped herself to a few bulbs and cuttings for growing at her own home. She was attempting to grow bell peppers and tomatoes again, along with some choice herbs much like she did when she was staying in the city. So far, she was seeing results and as long as she devoted enough time and patience to them, it would be one less thing she needed from Alexandria.

When Daryl appeared in the pantry’s doorway, her heart jumped but outwardly, she was calm and collected, leaving her box on the opposite side of the room to the shelves and marking off what she’d taken on a sheet of paper attached to a clipboard for Olivia, who needed to dash home temporarily and left instructions as to what needed to be done paperwork wise.

He hovered around her, deliberately picking up things he didn’t need but Jess didn’t need to know that. Carol had provided him, involuntarily with a list of very specific items that she needed after he’d volunteered to visit the pantry when he saw Jess walking along the sidewalk with her box under her arm. He felt like an idiot. Like a middle schooler who had no idea what he was doing around the girl he liked. But the temptation proved to be too much and he wanted to see her, needed to see her even just for a few minutes and had snatched the list from Carol’s fingers quicker than he’d meant to.

Gathering what looked like a rather odd collection of canned goods to Jess, Daryl arranged them on the table beside her and it was when he chewed on his bottom lip that she figured he was trying to say something.

“Headin’ home?” He asked.

“Yup.” She chirped, keeping her voice a little higher than usual because she felt it made her seem a little more casual than she felt inside. “Been here all day. Getting kinda anxious.”

A full day spent at Alexandria was unusual in itself, let alone after such a brush with death and the horrible memories that remained when she looked at certain parts of the town. She sometimes cursed herself for not being able to just move on like everyone else. It was the end of days and people saw disturbing things all the time but Jess couldn’t understand why she found it more difficult than most to just carry on with surviving without being plagued by the attack.

“Need me to sleep with ya?” Daryl questioned.

The words that were said and the way those words were processed in Jess’s mind were very different altogether. So much so that she could do nothing but stare at him for a few moments, a small blink being the only part of her that moved. Everything in her told her not to make a comment, to just answer the question, but she was trying to act normal to prove that his lips on hers had not been adding to her anxiety and heightened sense of unease.

“That’s one hell of an offer” she giggled nervously, hating herself for being unable to keep the dirty-minded statement in her head.

Daryl shifted his weight and cleared his throat before performing a split-second glance over his shoulder.

“One thing at a time, girl” He told her, a thin smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “C’mon, you know what I mean.”

Just like that, as if a spark went off inside her, her cheeks rushed with hot embarrassment and her eyes locked open as wide as they would go. She rapidly dropped her vision to the floor and now it was her turn to chew her lower lip and frantically try to gather her thoughts before she made the situation anymore difficult to deal with. She wasn’t a flirter but until then had figured she’d not done a terrible job. But it had been subtle and playful and the kind of flirting that went on between good friends. Or, was it? She was questioning everything since he’d kissed her. Every word, every move and every time he’d looked her in the eye. She wished she knew if it was something more than just a kiss to him, but wasn’t betting on finding out any time soon.

Daryl had to consciously try not grin at Jess’s extremely obvious blushing. Her ears and nose were even red and the notion that it had been because of him was strange to him but it didn’t come without a tremendous sense of accomplishment. He loved it when she blushed.

“Huh. Right. Um… no. I uh, I should be okay.” She mumbled to the floor as she wandered away from him and began to potter uselessly around the makeshift pantry. She pulled a piece of paper from her pants pocket and unfolded it, pretending to read it in great detail and using it as a shield before stuffing it noisily back into her pocket. Daryl observed her with interest when she gradually worked her way back to the table with a single can of tomatoes and placed it in her box. She picked up the clipboard, added a line to the tally by the item and left the inventory on the surface.

It wasn’t as if Daryl was confident with women. He found them baffling, sometimes downright weird and generally kept people behind a boundary, including the fairer sex. But Jess, he knew. He was used to her and after stepping over his own boundary, he knew her just a little bit more. For the first time in his life, he was sure he’d met someone that was as clueless about affairs of the heart as he was and having accepted long ago that it would never happen to him, the last thing he could have ever predicted was to find himself so drawn to a nervous nerd that saw him as so much more than a violent redneck. With Jess, he felt a confidence that he wasn’t aware was present in him but it only went so far and he was wary of pushing it for fear of scaring her. She was like a precious, nervous deer in the woodlands, one wrong move and she would bound off into the distance and he would lose her for good.

But he still had desires and one of those desires was to watch her pink cheeks and fidgeting hands, to watch how flustered she became around him all in the knowledge that she did actually like him the way he liked her. Now he had proof that he’d heard for himself, he was seeing a reaction from her that he’d not seen in any other women he’d encountered.

He leaned across her, inches from her face. The smell of leather lingered under her nose and she wanted to take a step back but she was rigid, her curiosity keeping her pinned where she was. Daryl collected the clipboard and braved lifting his gaze to hers. Blue eyes peered nervously back at him, surrounded by a soft pink glow that was growing more intense. He stopped moving and she could the delicate lines in the blue of his eyes.

“Why ya blushin’ so bad?” He whispered. A part of him was genuinely curious while another, more prominent part of him just wanted to admire how endearing she was when she was shy.

“Because you’re… an asshole that’s doing it on purpose.” She uttered. Her eyes were suddenly everywhere but on him, quickly darting about the room and trying to find something to focus on that wasn’t going to fuel her bashfulness.

He knows what he’s doing and he’s enjoying it. He’s enjoying watching me squirm. What a bast-oh who am I kidding?! I’d squirm for him any day. If only I could figure out what the hell it is that he wants. Wait…is he? He is! He’s moving closer! Oh, dang. Don’t look at him…don’t look-shit. I saw chest above that shirt button. Delicious, tanned, Daryl chest up close. I have to move or I’m literally going to melt. Move, Jess. Move, move, move!

Daryl had indeed, moved closer to her. With his breath now tickling her face she thought about what it might look like to anyone passing by the pantry, which was essentially just a garage at the back of someone’s house and was more often than not, a hive of activity. Luckily, night was descending and the streets were fairly empty but anyone going about a patrol or simply breezing past would get an eyeful of Daryl, gradually closing the gap between them. The game, whatever that may be, would well and truly be up.

“I ain’t doin’ nothin’, Jess.” He pointed out.

She finally found the gusto to step back and summon up some kind of mask for how vulnerable and confused she felt. As was normally the case with Jess when she was with Daryl, she used humor.

“Shut up and go wash that vest again.” She jabbed.

He stayed where he was but actually picked up the clipboard and pen, checking out a few items and raising an eyebrow at her over the metal clip.

“Sure, mom.” He commented.

Jess merely rolled her eyes and tugged her gloves from her coat pockets. She wiggled her fingers as she shoved her hands inside, one, followed by the other as she looked up at him intermittently.

“I get that shit from Carol. Don’t need you lecturing me too.” He complained.

“I’m not lecturing.” She argued with her hands held in surrender “I mean, I should because soon you’re going to start smelling like a frickin’ morgue with the heating left on. But I guess the Walkers don’t detect you as easily so maybe we should find a way to bottle that stench and sell it for some magic beans”

Feeling braver after her teasing of him, she smirked and tapped her leg with her fingers. Bravery didn’t always come with some element of nerves.

“Don’t make me shut you up” He warned.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do, Hmm?” She goaded, stepping closer and prodding his shoulder. “C’mon”

“Stop.” He warned.

“No, c’mon, what are you going to do about it?” She laughed with another nudge on his arm with the back of her hand. In one, long stride he’d left the table and was back in front of her, looking down at her with a most serious expression that told her she may well have genuinely annoyed him with her childish attempt at thawing the awkward atmosphere. His lips parted and Jess was ready to skirt around him like a dodge ball, grab her box and flee into the night.

“You don’t shut up I’ma kiss ya again.”

His stare was so concentrated and penetrating that once again, her feet felt like they were made from cement and she could only gawp back at him, clueless and hoping that he wasn’t as angry as he looked.

“I’m sorry.” She croaked.

He stepped back, realizing that he’d given her the wrong impression and that his seriousness about kissing her again if she started to babble had wrongfully been translated into him being mad at her. It occurred to him that he needed to work on his communication skills if he wanted to get anywhere with her, but was it all worth the effort when she could, and probably would, eventually do a lot better than him? A new group could arrive tomorrow, as a recruiter, he could even be the one that brought the one person that was perfect for her inside the gates. To him, she deserved more. She was worthy of someone that knew what they were doing, that knew how to devote themselves to someone else and be a good partner. Someone who didn’t have needless violence, multiple arrests and skills acquired by questionable means in their past. Someone who wasn’t covered in scars, mental and otherwise. Despite all the doubt, he would have been a fool to think he could stay away from her even if he tried and not having her in his life wasn’t even an option.

“Don’t have to be sorry.” He said, backing up to the table.

“I don’t?” She questioned. Her tone was unsure and she couldn’t figure out if he was playing down his anger through guilt or if she’d just taken it the wrong way. He picked up the few items he’d gathered and clutched them to his body with one arm.

“Nope.” He grunted as he walked to the door. He paused, glancing at her and noting that the white glow front the street light outside the garage cast on her clothing made her look like some kind of assassin but her face, her soft, innocent and totally mystified features was as it had always been; the one thing that made him stop and really see her. He left her with two, short words that did very little to cure her perplexed state of mind.

“I ain’t”

Dangerous situations were part and parcel of Daryl’s life in the apocalypse and when he really thought about it, he could successfully conclude that even before the turn, he’d been conditioned to normalize things that the average person would have avoided. He’d been arrested countless times, had more fights than he could ever even begin to count, lost himself in drugs and followed in his brother’s footsteps towards a world full of biker gangs and untold illegal activity. But none of it scared him. Fear was a useful tool to Daryl and it had been since he was a teenager.

Recruiting was more often than not left completely up to Daryl and Aaron and the two of them worked together to cover certain areas of the map while out looking for other survivors. Red zones which boasted thick, bold red lines through them on every map available in Alexandria, were no-go places. Risky groups, herds of Walkers and evidence of ritualistic or cannibalistic activity were found in such places and Deanna had set a non-negotiable rule that no one should enter into such territory unless they had no other choice.

But Daryl didn’t play so well with rules and Deanna had made it more than evident that she was furious with him when he returned one day with intel that there was a small group living in woodland that was well into one of the red zones. He’s scoped them out, returning every day for over a week to monitor their activity and take stock of the small amount of supplies they possessed. The group was formed of two males, a female and a small boy and if he didn’t already know better, Daryl would have swept in and taken the child, bringing him to the safety of their walled community without a single question. But the world had changed and things were not always as they seemed. Bait was everywhere and human beings were not above using children for all manner of horrendous things when their survival depended on it.

Having spoken to Aaron behind Deanna’s back, who immediately went to inform Jess, Daryl set off one day with a large truck, food, water and photographs of Alexandria in the hope that he could lure the apparently harmless group back with him and provide them with a chance at living instead of just existing. Jess was sworn to secrecy after being told that if Deanna found out Daryl was bringing people back from a red zone, there was no telling what she would do. It did nothing for her anxiety and for twelve hours straight, she wandered aimlessly around the fairground, firing off arrows into targets and training the shakes from her hands. What if he never came back? What if one kiss was all she was destined to get from him? What if she never found out what it meant to him? What if Daryl was gone, how would she go on without him?

There was a good reason why Daryl did not go straight to Jess when he arrived at the gates with the new group in tow. He had something to attend to first and Deanna to deal with before he could even think about leaving the safe zone again. After a long argument that was quickly put to rest when Deanna set her eyes upon the bright blonde, frightened four year old that was waiting in her hallway with his mother, father and uncle, Daryl left the house and headed to the Grime’s home garage, where he kept his bike and various tools and parts that he’d collected. He settled on the long, wooden bench at the back of the room and left the door open.

Carl, having seen Enid and her boyfriend sitting by the pond, was making tracks to his house, where a plethora of distractions awaited and he could bury his head in something that didn’t involve having to watch the girl he had a crush on with someone else, someone he didn’t even like. When he spotted Daryl in the garage, he remembered the advice gifted to him by Jess; that he should watch Daryl because he was the perfect example of how to treat a girl. He ambled into the dimly lit room and ran his hand over the handlebars of Daryl’s bike as he went. The air smelled like polish and car wax and he could see a compound bow on the wooden table in front of Daryl.

“Hi.” He called out.

Daryl glanced up, his hands still over the bows frame.

“Hey. Y’alright?” he replied.

Carl moved closer and rested his arm atop of a tower of metal drawers.

“Yeah” He shrugged.

The intuitive part of Daryl noticed the teenager’s low mood, sagged shoulders and mumbled tone. He wasn’t happy about something and as recent conversation with both him and Jess had revealed, the source of that unhappiness had to be one thing; Enid. He waved a hand at the space on the bench beside him.

“Sit ya ass down.”

Sitting down on the seat beside Daryl, Carl took in the items on the table, a compound bow, wax for the strings, car wax, cloths and a box of small maintenance tools.

“Shouldn't that be in the armory?” He inquired.

“Yup.” Daryl grunted, seemingly unbothered by the huge rule he’d broken by bringing the weapon to the house instead of the safety of the armory. He sat back, slid the bow across the table and positioned it in front of Carl. Then, he picked up the wax block and handed it to him.

“Ya gonna sit here, ya gonna be useful.” He told him “Here. The strings need waxing.”

Not totally confident and sure about what he was supposed to be doing or how, Carl gingerly took the wax and turned the bow around so the strings were facing him. Hovering his hands over the weapon, Daryl stepped in, unhooked the cables for the cable slide and began to explain all the parts that he needed to use the wax on. Before he knew it, Carl was almost done with his task while Daryl watched over him and explained what each of the accessories and elements on the bow were used for.

“I thought you liked your crossbow” Carl commented as he carefully maneuvered the wax block around the peep sight, taking care not to cover it completely.

“I do.” Daryl answered. “This ain’t mine.”

“Really? Then whose is it and why are you cleaning it?”

Carl was always inquisitive and wasn’t afraid to ask if there was something he wanted to know. Sometimes, it was much to Daryl’s annoyance but he always let it slide, remembering his own curiosity at that age and how he had to repress it to avoid a beating for being too meddlesome.

“It’s gonna be Jess’s.” He revealed with a quick side glance. Carl smiled and suddenly, Daryl felt quite exposed.

“Does she know?” Carl pressed.

“No and you ain’t gonna tell her.” Daryl confirmed as he opened the tool box and began rummaging inside. The jarring sound of metal on metal rang through the garage as he selected what he needed and began tightening the screws on the frame of the weapon.

“I won’t tell her. So, it’s a surprise? You got her a surprise?” He was persistent and Daryl had previously been faced with Carl’s determination. He knew better than to try and divert the subject or not answer at all. It was at times like that that he had no choice but to give in and answer what felt like a constant barrage of questions already.

“Yeah. Guess so.” Daryl grunted in response.

“Why?”

“Use that” Daryl instructed, pointing to a small paintbrush laying on the surface by Carl “Get to dustin’ the frame down, around the bolts and screws.”

The teenager did as he was told, but his eyes kept flickering across to his unwilling and unknowing mentor who was busy thinking about how his current situation reminded him of hot, dusty days spent contorted around motorcycles when he was a child while his brother barked orders at him and smoked cigarettes way too close to the gas tank.

“Why?” Carl repeated.

“Jesus, kid. I dunno!” Daryl snapped. “She’s been kinda down lately. Thought she’d like it.”

“So, you got her a new bow because you want to make her happy.” Carl surmised, excited by the prospect that he’d caught Daryl right in the middle of preparing a surprise for Jess and thus proving her theory that he was indeed the one he needed to be taking notice of.

“I didn’t ‘get’ her a bow and it ain’t new. One of the guys from the group I brought back gave it to me as a thank you. He had two. I know she’ll like it and she could use a little good news.” Daryl explained impatiently while trying to concentrate on what his hands were doing.

“Have you given her any other surprises?”

Daryl dropped his arms onto the table and downed tools. A loud sigh escaped from his lungs and he side glanced at the eager boy.

“Why you grillin’ me ‘bout this, man?” he wanted to know.

“I’m not. I’m just…curiou-.”

“-Curious ‘bout what, Carl?” Daryl shot back before Carl could even finish saying his sentence. Detecting that his questioning was having the opposite effect to how he’d intended it, he tried to explain but with Daryl staring at him as if he was going to use him as target practice to see if the compound bow worked, what came out was not what he planned.

“Nothing. Nothing. I was just wondering why you’d surprise her like this. I-I guess I’m trying to figure something out and Jess told me that you were a…uh…nevermind.”

Turning to face the worried kid on the bench beside him, Daryl narrowed his eyes, now completely losing interest in the bow and focusing all of his attention on what Jess had apparently told him.

“Jess told ya I was a what?” He demanded.

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” Carl quickly shook his head.

“Carl. Tell me.” Daryl continued to push.

Aware he was not going to be leaving the garage without having disclosed something that Jess made him swear not to tell anyone, Carl groaned with frustration and threw his head back, closing his eyes for a second before looking back at Daryl, who was leaning towards him with one arm braced on the table.

“I’m not supposed to say.” He started “But she told me to watch you. How you treat her. Said you were a good example of how to treat a girl.”

At his admission, Carl saw Daryl blink and flinch slightly as if he’d been struck. It was obvious that he was quite surprised by such a thing being said by Jess and his eyebrows furrowed as he looked down into his lap and tried to figure out what that could mean.

“She said that?” He eventually asked. “How long ago?”

“Before you got shot.” He disclosed “Are you going to tell her I messed up and told you?”

“She ain’t gonna be mad, Carl.” He assured him.

The air left Carl’s lungs and he nodded solemnly at his inability to keep the secret that Jess had trusted him with. Although, he couldn’t understand why it was such a big secret in the first place if there was nothing but a friendship between her and Daryl. But her wish was her wish and he wondered if he would have to face her wrath or if Daryl was right. He seemed to know her better than anyone and if he said she wasn’t going to be angry, maybe she wouldn’t.

Daryl didn’t have much else to say on the matter, his thoughts were too consumed with what Jess had been saying to Carl. He knew she liked him, he’d heard it himself and being told that she thought him to be a good example for Carl and one to watch meant more to him than he could have imagined. Such a complimentary comment stirred a strange, fuzzy feeling in his chest and as much as he knew he should keep it to himself, the temptation to confront Jess about it was strong.

Jess was surprised she hadn’t worn the grass down due to her pacing back and forth for hours on end. From one target to another, from one training patch to another, back to the diner and then to the gate to check the woods for any arrivals. But there was nothing. Her body felt heavy with dread. She hated that Daryl had gone on what sounded to her a lot like a suicide mission and refused to let her have a say in the matter or go along with him as backup. The thought of losing him had not left her terrified mind for a single second and at one point, she found herself standing outside the gate, fully armed and ready to go and find him, until she realized that there was no way she could possibly figure out what part of the red zone he was in and Aaron would have preferred to endure her torturing him before he gave up Daryl’s location and sent her out into the same danger.

She must have checked the area outside the gate at least a hundred times and she was starting to hate the fact that she cared so much. Life was easier when she’d just met him and he was nothing more than an angry, sour-faced redneck who everybody steered clear of. But it had happened fast and if she was honest with herself, a piece of her heart became his when he threw a pack of pens at her from the top of the RV.

At dusk, a tuneful rapping on the metal frame of the gate had her springing from her seat at the bottom of the Ferris wheel and she darted across the long swaying grass in the orange glow of the evening with her heavy boots leaving crushed, green footprints. Although her mood had been that of a roller coaster all day and the prevailing feeling that kept simmering on the surface was anger, it vanished in a split second when she saw Daryl on the other side of the gate.

She didn’t open it right away, choosing instead to observe him through the honeycomb-like pattern of the metal fencing. He was holding something behind his back but Jess was concerned with one thing and one thing only.

“You’re alive.” She uttered.

“Yes, I am.” He rasped back with a hint of a smile.

Then. Once she’d heard his voice and was sure he wasn’t some kind of mirage or hallucination, she unlatched the gate and stepped aside. Daryl walked in keeping his eyes on hers and whatever was behind his back obscured from her view.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” She asked, irritated.

“Mmhmm.” He hummed with a small nod. It was apparent that she knew exactly what he’d been doing and therefore, he didn’t bother to question her. “Small group. One kid.”

“A kid, huh? Good. That’s…good.”

About to launch into a barrage of scolding sentences that would convey just how incensed she was that he’d gone off on his own into such dangerous territory, she was soon silenced by his next words.

“I um… brought ya somethin’.” He mumbled sheepishly.

The lines in her forehead dropped out when her face softened at the sight of his shyness. Daryl had given her things before. Small things like gum, candy and a sharpening stone for her knife. But this time appeared to be different. Never before had he shown such bashfulness at passing something onto her. She blinked in surprise when he drew his hands out from behind his back and held up a compound bow, complete with all the accessories she could need. It was sparkling, practically brand new and she thought of how great the timing was; her own bow was falling apart.

“For-for me?” She squeaked

“Yeah…” he grunted “…the group I picked up. Guy used to own an archery club. Had two of these. Handed me one as a thank you but I got the crossbow. So, now, it’s yours. I know your bow is gettin’ kinda old.”

He held the compound bow out, moving it closer to her and hoping that she would just take it so she would be looking at that instead of the nervousness that was written all over his face. He wasn’t sure whether to tell her that he’d lovingly cleaned every inch of it and had Carl wax the strings and as a result had geared himself up so much that the simple act of giving her a gift was now blown massively out of proportion in his mind.

Her fingers curled around the weapon and he didn’t realize, but he was soon mimicking her expression. A broad smile as she tested the bows weight and examined all of its different parts.

“Look at this thing. It’s amazing.” She chuckled. Stilling for a moment and catching his eye “you’re right, my bow needs to go into retirement. This is so cool.”

A short exhalation escaped him and he briefly looked down, soon peering up at her though his hair.

“Glad ya like it. Carl helped clean it up for ya” he told her. It was as if his heart was making the decision for him and his head wasn’t allowed a say.

“Really? Thank you so much.” She beamed.

He moved closer, wrapping his fingers around the bow and positioning himself at her side but further back.

“Here, lemme show ya how to use this thing. S’a little different to what ya used to.”

Gentle instructions in her ear told her to hold the bow up and her skin broke out into goose pimples when he threaded the arrow into place, covered hands with his and settled his head over her shoulder. He could smell her recently washed hair and feel the warmth of her body next to his.

He explained where to put her hands and that she needed good posture. The words were enough but Daryl wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to lightly position his hands on her back and shoulders and noticed when she held her breath. Even with her jacket and protective clothing on, a multi-layered barrier between them, she felt the electricity of his closeness spark through her veins. She turned her head slowly to meet his unsure but determined gaze and managed to release the breath she was holding in a jagged but controlled exhalation. For a second, she thought he might say something when his mouth opened slightly and his eyes seemed to flicker with a rapidly passing thought, but all he ended up doing was nodding at the target. She fired the weapon with a lot more ease than she’d expected, satisfied when the arrow landed in the circle framing the center target.

“Not bad” He offered.

“I’m just a natural at this.” She commented.

“Yeah. Right.”

Neither of them had moved but Daryl did drop his hands for fear of putting her off her shot. There were still mere inches separating them and Jess toyed with the idea of asking him about the kiss again and trying to establish exactly what his intentions were at that moment. It meant she could move on and forget about any possible potential between them, get over her disappointment and focus on being his friend. But he’d warned her off of mentioning it and had done so in a way that could not be mistaken. Then, he’d gone on to tell her that he wasn’t sorry, but what that meant also remained a mystery to her. Deciding to keep quiet on the subject and avoiding a possible argument or awkward situation, she braved a thin smile. Jess didn’t deal well with not knowing where she stood, but in that moment, stood that close to Daryl, she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

“This mean I’m a good example of how to treat a girl?” He shot at her from nowhere.

Dread crept into her bones and her eyes grew noticeably wider. Where could he have got that sentence from and why was he saying it to her so brazenly?!

“What?” she croaked.

His face broke out into a shy laugh and he took a step back, putting some more distance between them that did little to quell Jess’s feeling of suffocation when it dawned on her that Carl had blabbed when she specifically asked him not to.

Daryl shifted his weight from one leg to the other and she noticed a tint of pink across his cheeks. Saying nothing, she was more transfixed on how she was going to wriggle out of this situation with his dignity intact.

“You got the kid interrogatin’ me, Jess.” He smirked.

“What are you talking about?” She questioned, needing clarification and clarity on the situation.

“You know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. What ya said to Carl.… ‘bout me.” He confirmed.

Her heart sank and her hands grew sweaty as she clunked her new compound bow against her thigh. Her mind was swimming with ideas that would enable her to talk her way out of it but all of them were far fetched and ridiculous. Going with what seemed to be the most believable at the time, she adopted her best casual tone.

“I-I didn’t mean… I meant for him to uh… to watch you and Rick. Y’know. Men like you and Rick.” She explained with a nonchalant flick of her hand in his direction.

“That ain’t what he told me.” Daryl argued.

Jess turned away from him, shielding the incredulous and enraged expression that was quickly forming on her features.

“I’m going to strangle that kid” she muttered to herself. Doing a small double take at him, she noted how amused he appeared. Smiles were not one of Daryl’s trademarks, at least when it came to other people, but he was more likely to smile in Jess’s presence alone and that was something she’d been willing to take the credit for. His smiles were rarer than her own, usually stifled and when he did allow one to slip, it never failed to drag a lustful breath from her lungs. She loved to see him smile, there was no doubt about that, but in that moment, she wished she could drop down into a hole in the earth and be rid of yet another awkward situation that she really could have done without. “He’s love-struck and confused.” She said breezily.

“Only thing he’s confused about is why the girl doesn’t see him.” Daryl surmised.

“She does see him, just…as a friend right now.” She corrected

Just like you with me. Or not. I don’t know because you won’t talk to me about it.

“So, him watchin’ me is gonna do what exactly?” He continued to dig.

Her patience was wearing extremely thin and she was just about done with feeling nervous and clumsy all the time. There were so many unanswered questions in her head and she didn’t know why, but so many embarrassing outcomes had come hurtling towards her and she was reaching boiling point. Why was this happening to her? Why was everything so complicated and confusing and why the hell was Daryl so determined to watch her squirm?

“Daryl” she snapped in a warning for him to cease his line of questioning.

“What?!” He cried, holding his hands up with his lips still slightly curved.

Jess turned her back to him, swooped down to collect her old bow and quiver of arrows that she’d left on the floor and stomped off towards her home.

“I have shit to do. I have to go. Thank you for the bow.” She threw over her shoulder.

“Jess, c’mon.” She heard him plead from behind her.

“Let yourself out, I’ll lock the gate later.” She added.

“Alright” He huffed.

Inside the diner, Jess heaved in deep breaths after setting her bows and arrows down on the chair in the corner. In front of her was an upturned wooden box that doubled as a small table. The name of a local farm was written on the side of the box in black and it matched three others of varying size that she possessed. On top of the box were two, heavy mugs.

Not only did Jess have the aftermath of her attack to contend with, which meant her anxiety was heightened anyway, everything else was getting very complex and every move she made was starting to feel like it would snowball into something huge. She was scared to do or say anything wrong for fear of the inevitable humiliation that would no doubt arrive. But aside from that, she still harbored the unspeakable idea that Daryl could have failed to return after his solo mission into the Red Zone. It gnawed away at her so much that she’d been forced to sit with the reality of it for the entire day; she loved him and losing him would destroy her. He’d left without a word to her as if she didn’t matter. Jess was aware that she hardly ever mattered to the objects of her previous desires, but this one had kissed her and this one she had fallen for and this one was different, so different that he battled her nightmares and made her feel like it was a good thing to be who she was.

Exasperation began to elevate in her chest and she picked up one of the mugs, mindlessly throwing it against the far wall with such strength that she could have pulled a muscle in her arm. The ceramic object collided with the brick wall and exploded, sending shattered clumps of polished, white pieces all over the place. Even more annoyed by the mess, she found herself looking down at the second mug in her hand and automatically yelling curse words as she launched it at the same place on the wall as the first. More and more mess coated her bed, bookshelf and rug and she could only stare at the faint scuff on the brickwork while her temper calmed.

Outside the diner, Daryl leaned against the wall and smoked a cigarette to the concerning chorus of swear words that were filling the room beyond the wall. He had no idea how angry Jess was, that she was even capable of such a noisy fury or how she’d even arrived at that point but he did realize that his probing around what Carl had told him had been the fuel thrown on the proverbial fire. He was under no illusions by that point that Jess had indeed told Carl to watch him and use him as a good example, but he had no more plans to discuss it. The knowledge of her opinion of him alone was gratifying enough and he knew it would keep him awake in the best way when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep that night.

Inside, things had gone quiet by the time he’d finished his smoke and he decided that he’d better check in on her well-being. It was either face the angry woman in the diner or spend the whole night wondering if she was charging through the woods in the dark, chopping off the heads of Walkers and screaming curse words at the moon.

He knocked on the windowpane as he passed and headed to the door, where he found Jess standing in the doorway with one hand on the handle and her mouth open like a trapdoor.

“I thought you left. Why haven’t you left?” She asked with sheer disbelief.

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse. He heard me.

“Heard smashin’. Wanted to make sure you were okay.” He told her.

“I just dropped a couple of cups.” She quickly informed him in the hope that he would turn and leave her alone. It wasn’t often that she wanted to be away from him, but her mood was so unpredictable after such a dreadful day, that she really felt the need to relinquish her desire to be with him for one night now that she knew he was alive and well.

“Right.” He nodded.

Her body language was speaking volumes to Daryl, even if her voice was not. She didn’t bother to invite him inside and eventually leaned against the door frame, sighing loudly as if his mere presence was irritating her.

“You mad at me for somethin’?” Daryl asked

She grit her teeth and exhaled quickly through her nose as she glared at him. It was written all over her face and Daryl wondered why he’d even bothered to ask. She was quite clearly mad at him.

“No” She spat. “Yes. I’m lying. Yes. I’m mad at you. I mean, really? Going into the red zone alone, Daryl? That was stupid. Fucking stupid. I would have gone with you.”

There it was. She wasn’t only mad because he’d questioned her about Carl. She was mad because he’d gone out alone and to somewhere out of bounds without giving her a say. He didn’t know when he started having to answer to her and check with her about things, but it didn’t phase him. In fact, he found it to be a good thing that she cared so much, he just wished he knew why.

“I was fine” He reasoned.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She demanded.

“I knew you’d give me a hard tim-”

“-You’re damn right I would have! Does it ever occur to you that something could happen to you?!”

“Not reall-”

“WELL IT DOES TO ME, DARYL!” She suddenly shouted at him, cutting him off again and jabbing herself in the chest with her index finger. “It does to me…you could have died.”

“But I didn’t.” He gently reminded her.

“That’s beside the point!” She raged “I gave up doing distance runs! Because you said you cared! I did that for you! Alexandria needs you. Your group needs you. You are needed, Daryl. You’re always worrying about me getting hurt but it works both ways! The Red Zone is red for a fucking reason! You’re not supposed to just run into the lion’s den without any backup. I mean, even Iron Man needed backup at one point!"

“Jess, I was fine.” He tried.

“But what if you weren’t? What if you got into trouble and needed help? You can’t just do that. You can’t. You say you care about me; then why don’t you give a crap that I care right back?! I was here the whole day worrying about you. You ruined my day. You asshole. Then you got me a bow and that was nice because you’re a good guy, y’know, it was sweet of you. But, no! you still ruined my day. There are people that care about you. Rick, Carol, Judith...me! You fucking idiot-”

He swooped down to her and crashed his lips to hers. It obliterated every thought. For the first time since their first kiss, Jess’s mind was firmly locked into the present. The worries of the day evaporated like rain on the hood of a car on a hot morning and she had no wish for the kiss to end. Drunk on endorphins, she sensed his tongue trace the crease of her lips, testing, teasing and asking for permission which she soon granted. His only desire was to touch her, to move his hands under her armored layers and feel her perfect softness. But self-restraint was one of his greatest skills and his hands remained holding either side of her face, thumbs stroking her jaw and cheeks in a messy yet deliciously craving and sexy caress. In moments the kiss had become firmer, he savored her lips and the quickening of her breath that matched his own. Jess could only hope that such a kiss was a promise of much more to come and it was a thought that scared and excited her all at once.

Reluctant to let his lips leave hers, he pulled back slowly, bit by bit and found that when he took his time, Jess reacted with a bravery that she hadn’t displayed before. He liked the way she clung tightly to his forearm with one hand and held the other one flat against his chest, over his heart. What he liked even more, was the way she tilted her head to him and went back for two more, shorter kisses, both of which he did not need to initiate but was more than happy to oblige.

Her lips were pink and shiny when she stepped back and took a deep breath to ground herself and settle her pounding heart. She swallowed hard and gingerly looked up at him. One of his hands had found its way into his pocket, while the other one fiddled mercilessly at his side and it was an indication that he was not as fearless about the whole thing as he was letting on.

“Are you…” Her voice was rough, as if it had been vanquished from her with a kiss. “… are you going to do that every time I talk too much?”

Daryl was wandering back up to the path, licking his lips and flashing her yet another breath-taking half smile as he looked back.

“It’s workin’, ain’t it?” he commented simply before finally turning his angel-winged back to her and making his way to the gate through the overgrown grass. “Lock the gate behind me”

--- tagging as requested ---

@lilred254 @woundmetender @lonewolf471

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around - Chapter 24

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 27/?

The next morning was fraught with tension and sorrow. Most of the guards were killed and as a result, people began to step up, offering their help where they could as the cleanup effort began. A truck was being filled with the bodies of the enemy group, while the fallen Alexandrian’s were all gathered near the graveyard to be given funerals. Deanna was the first to spot Jess when she was let through the gate and she immediately ceased her conversation with Rick and ran to her with her arms wide open.

“Oh, Jess! You’re alright” She gasped as she drew her into a warm hug. Not one for hugging everyone anymore, especially after such a harrowing attack, Jess swallowed hard and made an exception, lifting her arms and allowing Deanna to hold her in an embrace. “The others, they said they saw you run out last night.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t stay and help, I just needed to get out of here. I was attacked-” She tried to reason.

“-We know.” Rick interrupted as he walked over with his hands on his hips. “Daryl told us.”

“W-what did Daryl tell you exactly?” She asked hesitantly, all the while hoping that Daryl had left out some significant details that would only add to her humiliation.

“He said he walked into Aaron and Eric’s place because the door was wide open and saw two of them trying to kill you. Said you took a beating but you were putting up a pretty good fight.” He explained.

Jess relaxed somewhat, her shoulders loosening and her defenses lowering. He hadn’t told them everything and had the consideration to omit the things which he knew she would find horrifying if everyone else knew. She owed him for that, the thought of the entire town knowing what she'd been subjected to was not something she could entertain without feeling physically sick.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Jess questioned. It was as good an idea as any to steer the focus away from what happened in the house the night before. Behind Rick. in the distance, she could see Daryl leaving the Grime’s home with Carl in tow.

“It’s all hands-on deck, whatever you can do. But first, I want you to go and get checked out by Denise.” Deanna instructed

“I will. But it can wait a couple hours” Jess mused “There was a woman, a blonde woman. By the wall over there”, She motioned to the dark corner where she’d left the bloodied woman that she’d tried to save “Where is she now?”

Deanna took hold of Jess's hand and looked right at her. From her peripheral vision, Jess detected Carl and Daryl now within earshot.

“I saw what you did. I was at the window, checking there were no other children running around that I could bring inside. That was brave, Jess. Your courage and humanity shown towards Mrs. Brennan was admirable.”

“It was nothing” Jess muttered as she very deliberately broke away from Deanna and headed to Carl.

“She’s with the others, in the church grounds.” Deanna called out to her.

Carl’s face lit up when Jess wound her way around Rick and Deanna and broke into a jog, slamming into him and hugging him fiercely. Carl was only a kid and therefore a lot less triggering to her than physical contact from adults. She was delighted to see him, aware of the devastation that would follow losing Carl not only for Rick and the community, but for her also. Daryl continued to walk, meeting Rick and Deanna and joining them in observing Jess with Carl.

“Oh god, I’m glad you’re in one piece, kid.” Jess sighed into the side of the teenager’s head. He was now almost as tall her and she figured she must have missed the beginning of such a growth spurt. He was going to be as tall as his father and likely as brave too.

“You too.” He muffled against her jacket before stepping back and embarking on a run down of events as they transpired from his point of view.

Meanwhile, Daryl and Rick swapped a glance, one of concern for Jess but also for each other. They were beat after having worked all night to sweep the town and eliminate the chances of any of the dead rising again.

“She is playing it down” Deanna muttered through clenched teeth.

“Huh? What d’ya mean?” Daryl asked.

“What she did last night. I saw her from the window. Jennifer Brennan was running across the street away from one of those awful men. She was badly hurt and Jess appeared from nowhere and took him down. Then, she dragged Jennifer to the corner over there and stayed with her, held her hand and talked to her as she died.” She relayed with bloodshot eyes as she took in the impact on her town and the suffering that was forced on her people. “It was chaos, all of it. But she showed compassion and humanity towards that woman despite it all. Then, I watched her save Aaron's life, too. She always said she wasn’t good at fighting people, just walkers. I’m very proud of her.”

Daryl glanced between Deanna and Rick, who was still watching Jess laugh with Carl and playfully jabbing him in the arm.

“Yeah” Daryl mumbled.

Me too.

He cleared his throat and tugged her knife and machete from his belt, slowly encroaching on her conversation with Carl. She stopped talking when she saw him and peered at him expectantly. He held out her weapons, noticing that the end of her bow, which was positioned across her torso as normal, was bent out of shape.

“Cleaned ‘em up for ya.” He told her. She took them from his hands, her eyes never leaving his as she did so and she knew Carl was watching, but struggled to care. “I want ya to go see the Doc, let her make sure ya aint concussed.” He requested

“Thanks. I will. I just imagine she’s kinda busy right now.” She shrugged. Connecting her machete to her belt with its leather loop and sliding her knife back into its holster, she clicked the button closed and pushed her lips into a thin line. He was still staring at her and she knew he wasn’t going to give in.

“So, we’ll wait. I’ll go with ya. C’mon.” He grunted.

Carl raised an eyebrow at Daryl’s unwavering stubborn streak and considered that this may very well be the kind of thing that Jess was referring to when she suggested that he use Daryl as an example of how to treat someone as if they truly mean something.

“Daryl, I can go by myself” Jess tried.

“Ya ain’t doin’ nothin alone until I know ya ain’t got a brain injury. Complain all ya like, I ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He insisted, taking her wrist and marching her off along the street.

“I’ll catch you later, kid” She called out to Carl, who was holding a hand up in a small wave with a knowing smile spread across his lips.

It turned out that after an hour long wait with Daryl hovering over her like a concerned husband, Jess did not have a concussion. What she did have, was severely bruised thighs, a gash across her temple and a bump to the back of her head that had gone down overnight and left a dull ache that was more than manageable. Denise was informed of the true happenings of the night against Jess’s wishes by Daryl, who stepped in when she tried to lie upon being asked if there was anything else that she wasn’t telling her. She’d scowled at him and cursed him in her head but underneath it all, she knew he was doing it because he cared and after everything she’d been through over the last few hours, she considered herself lucky to have such a blessing. When she was finally released from the infirmary, what little energy she did have was put to good use to aid the community in its repair and removal of the bodies. After all, she had all the time in the world, it wasn’t like she could catch a minute of decent sleep anymore.

Daryl made a point of keeping Aaron and Eric away from their home until he’d cleared the bodies inside. Reluctant to let anyone see the result of his fury splattered all over the pristine, white kitchen. He left the house carrying a box full of body parts which he threw onto the back of the truck that contained the rest of the bodies and gave Aaron a nod in passing, letting him know the coast was clear.

“Sorry ‘bout the mess, man.” He mumbled.

Jennifer Brennan’s funeral was tough for Jess, who stood at the back of the crowd and pulled her hood and mask up to create a barrier between her emotions and everyone else. But she simply had to attend, not being present wasn’t an option when she’d ensured that Jennifer’s last moments were spent with her. She hoped she’d been able to do something to calm the woman’s heart, to put her mind at ease and to let her slip away as peacefully as possible among the pandemonium. She turned her body away from the funeral in an effort to hide her tears when it was declared that Jennifer’s husband had also been killed, leaving her two young boys as orphans. Daryl picked up on her sadness and resisted the need to go to her. The last thing she needed was yet more attention.

In the longer-term aftermath of the attack upon Alexandria, an urgent meeting was called, ideas were swapped and opinions raised with regards to the security of the town and how well equipped it was to deal with such situations. Having never experienced much in the way of danger from outside the walls before, most of the residents were still shaken and angry, believing that huge changes needed to be made to make everyone feel more secure.

Rick’s group stepped up the guard duties, changed the gate rules and went on regular patrols in the woods and surrounding areas, also placing two people in the tower at any one time so as not stone was left unturned. It fast became common knowledge that out of the fifteen strong group that attacked, all but two of them were killed. Rick surmised that there would be a cooling off period for them to regroup and bring in reinforcements, if they possessed such a thing and that everyone should be prepared, at any time, for similar attacks.

Jess was tasked with taking training sessions on the promise from Deanna that she would run the lessons on how to kill walkers and attend the lessons by Abraham on how to kill live humans as a trainee. The more she applied herself, the more she was able to mask her mood and after a week, she was able to cover her anxiety enough to convince everyone that she was just fine during the hour-long sessions. When really, she was plagued with flashbacks and nightmares and rarely slept a wink. She was tired, mentally and physically but training was giving her a focus and a useful one at that. But still, the dread seeped through and after her training sessions, she retreated back to the fairground and hid away from the world.

Nothing was said about the kiss that Jess planted on Daryl. Every time he tried, something else came up, someone interrupted or he thought she could sense it and either removed herself or changed the subject. He didn’t quite know exactly what he wanted to say, but the longer it was ignored, the larger the elephant in the room became. Jess wanted to forget it, sweep it under the rug and continue with their friendship as if she hadn’t tried to ruin it all. She hoped he would quickly realize her displeasure at the prospect of discussing it, purely because she hadn’t brought it up herself.

Daryl, who was usually reasonably self restrained, particularly where affairs of the heart were concerned, found it too tempting to resist stopping and watching during one of Jess’s training sessions. She was a delight for him to watch when she was in teacher mode. Confident, sure of herself and displaying a bossy side that tickled his interest in her all the more. In her hand, Jess held onto the knife that he’d given her all those months ago like it was precious and worth more than all the knives in Alexandria combined.

A couple of the participants in her class that day waved to Daryl, who stood off to one side and smiled thinly at Jess as she worked. He didn’t bother trying to hide his amusement, even dipping his head, running his chin and laughing quietly when she described them all as Stormtroopers locked in a war against the Walkers. That was the old Jess, the one he was seeing more and more of and that apparently was done with being suppressed.

“Copycat.” He called out smugly at the sight of the fake Walkers made from potato sacks and stuffed with grass and straw which were tied to heavy posts. Just as he’d tied a real walker to a tree and demanded she learn how to kill them at the quarry.

Jess looked over her shoulder and shot him an irritated look. Her eyes lingered on him for longer than was needed, but she’d noticed his sleeveless, black shirt and the way he was casually leaning against the back of a house with his big arms crossed over his chest. It was staring her right in the face no matter how much she tried to ignore it, he was so attractive and she sometimes hated him for it, especially when she was trying to concentrate. She marched over to him, stopping and resting her hands on her hips. Her six students wait and glanced at one another in curiosity.

“Can I help you, Stinky?” She asked with a pout.

“Mind if I step in?” He requested.

Jess let out a giggle of disbelief and shook her head at his boldness.

“Yes, I do.”

He stood up straight and went to turn away from her in the direction of the road, his lips curled at one corner.

“Fine. Do it wrong.” He challenged.

The people behind her, comprising of three men and three women all began to grin at one another, finding the playful tension between Jess and Daryl highly amusing. Jess watched Daryl as he ambled towards the road, turning and walking backwards with his hands open, tempting her to reevaluate if she was sure her answer was the right one. She exhaled through her nose, frustrated at how she couldn’t say no to him because she wanted to look at him a little longer.

“Alright, smart ass” She proclaimed “What do you want?”

He cleared his throat and walked back to her, stepping behind her and leaning down. With his hand he hooked his fingers around her calf and eased her outside leg further back.

“This leg needs to be further back. It’s a defense thing. Less likely to fall on your ass” he explained, taking her arm and moving it up and back, closing his hand around hers on the knife. “This arm. Lift it up a little more.” He rasped in her ear as he slid a hand down her arm, gently closing it over her elbow and shifting it to the correct position.

Her skin was set alight when she felt his breath on her neck and the warmth of his chest brush against the thin fabric of her shirt. She swallowed hard and noticed everyone staring at them, most of them with recognizable smiles that were directed at Jess’s pink cheeks and Daryl’s unnecessarily close proximity to her.

“What are y’all looking at?!” She snapped at them all “You’ve had a demonstration, get practicing! Remember, keep your body behind your knife.” They all scattered like mice and picked up their weapons, chatting amongst themselves and helping each other.

Daryl had little desire to move and the longer he stood, connected to her side, the more he thought about the kiss and how he didn’t even know if he was right or wrong for not kissing her back. Given time, a few more seconds maybe, he was positive that he would have reciprocated. But the timing and the situation were all wrong. The whole thing was confusing, out of place and bizarre and he wished it wasn’t. He wished it had been in better circumstances, so he could have pulled her back to him and asked her if it was really what she wanted.

Standing firm, Daryl trailed his fingers back along her arm and dropped his hand to his side. She failed to increase the distance between them and took a deep breath as she shyly licked her lips and straightened up her jacket. Her cheeks were still pink and the day was not cold enough to have made them so. Her skin was reddened because she was flustered and he was loving every single second of it.

“Did you have to undermine me like that?” She uttered.

“Probably not.” He smirked

“Then what are you even doing?” She tested

Daryl sucked both lips into his mouth and thought for a moment. He had an idea, but wasn’t sure if he was pushing his luck a little too far. He saw the glint in her eye while she waited for an answer and decided to take the chance, figuring he’d just make a joke out of it if it backfired.

“Need a sparring partner?” He questioned confidently, looking down his nose at her.

If anyone could fight, it was Daryl. He didn’t think himself good at much, a modest number of things; fishing, hunting and having grown up scrapping with the best of them, he was fearless and could more than hold his own. What he lacked in professional training he made up for in determination and resolution.

“Uh, no?’ Jess replied.

“Yeah ya do.” He argued. “Need to show ‘em how it’s s’posed to look. Get some practice in of your own too”

She considered his offer, unable to actually find a reason to decline. He was right. It would be helpful to show them what everything was supposed to look like and as much as she tried not to entertain the thought; she liked the idea of a little healthy competition with the man she thought to be the most attractive she’d ever seen.

“Fine. Tomorrow. But we’ll have to meet up and discuss what I'm going to teach them and how” She instructed in her best official and professional voice.

“Fine by me. Meet ya at your place tonight.” He was already on his way to the road, throwing his response over his shoulder with a hidden smile that only she was allowed to see.

Jess was resourceful enough to work out her own way of training using her weapons and keeping her stamina up. Since the attack, she felt the need to hone her skills more than usual and aside from her time as both a teacher and a student inside the walls, outside, she reserved time each week for cardio training. Just as in the city, she always remembered that she may never know when she would have to run, and keep running and so, keeping up her fitness level was of great importance. She also didn’t want to become complacent with her weapons. Being attached to a safe zone was one thing, but she still lived outside the walls and should her own land be attacked, she needed to know how to defend it, and herself.

Inside the fences of the fairground were various home-made training sections. Scarecrow-like effigies were tied to the horses of the carousel for knife training and targets were hanging, dotted around the compound for firing at with her bow. When Daryl stepped out of the bushes and gained a view through the fence, he spotted Jess aiming and firing at a target with her bow. Her practice over the months of her being alone had paid off, and she rarely missed a shot through lack of skill, it was just her unsteady nerves and tendency to panic that sometimes put her off.

She lowered her bow when she clocked him working his way along the fence and met him at the gate. Opening it up and clanking it shut behind him. In the clearing between the carousel and the Ferris wheel, she walked to the middle and turned to face him, tossing her bow and quiver to one side.

“You think I can’t handle myself, Dixon?” She challenged.

In truth, she felt far from the capable superhero she presented herself to be. She was tired and on edge, the constant memories of her attack dropping into her mind to remind her of her near-death experience. She hated it and it made her angry and sad and vulnerable. Most of all, she hated the nightmares.

“Seen ya fight. You’re good with Walkers. But it was me that taught ya.” Daryl cleverly pointed out.

“You taught me to fight with a knife” She pointed out, unsheathing her blade and tossing it onto the grass. He raised his eyebrows “we’re not using weapons. Before anything else, those people…and me…we need to learn how to survive in a situation where we aren’t blessed with a blade or a gun. Who better to teach me than a brawler like you?”

“You think I’m a brawler?” He asked with a hint of surprise, although he couldn’t blame her for thinking it with a reputation and a temper like his.

“Tell me, how many fights were you involved in before the turn, Daryl?” She shot back at him.

“Alright. Yeah, a lot.” He accepted, tilting his head to one side with a subtle shrug.

He didn’t know what he’d been anticipating when he offered himself up as a sparring partner, but combat with no weapons was certainly not it. All things considered, he wasn’t entirely displeased with the prospect of being so close to Jess, but he was apprehensive about hurting her. When she raised a hand and beckoned him with one finger, his stomach hummed with a complex mix of nerves, excitement and worry.

“Fight me” She challenged.

“You’re sure about this?” He checked.

“Ahh…you’re scared” She mocked, knowing very well that he was far from afraid of her but delighting in being able to poke fun at him.

“I ain’t scared of nothin’.” He warned.

“So, fight me.” She smiled.

He lunged at her and she dodged his first swing, ducking and jabbing him in the side. She refrained from hitting him as hard as she actually could, unsure of her own strength and not wanting to leave any bruises. He swung a leg under her feet, knocking her off balance and grabbing her arm, spinning her and twisting it behind her back. She took a deep breath while he held her there, trying to ignore the churning in her stomach, the gnawing discomfort of being touched after her near miss at the hands of the two barbaric strangers in Aaron and Eric’s house. Fixating her energy onto the task at hand, she stamped on his foot at the same time as shooting an elbow backwards, into his ribs. A grunt rang through her head and she detected his grip loosen a little, just enough for her to slip down to the floor and out of his grasp. Straightening up again wasn’t all that difficult but she soon grasped that her cockiness was too premature when Daryl simply slapped his hands on her shoulders and knocked her backwards. She stumbled and hit the deck like a toddler, devoid of a single ounce of grace. Flat out on the grass, she gawped up at him when he knelt down with a leg either side of her and held her arms to the ground.

A brief spell of panic flashed through her with the vivid memory of being trapped on the table in Aaron’s house, forced to breathe in the stench of rotten breath from the man holding her down and the pressure on her thighs from the one who intended to violate her. In a split second, she was back in the present, in the fairground and under Daryl with his blue eyes peering down at her.

“You’re holdin’ back.” He rasped at her with a slight smile that made her stomach flutter.

“So are you” she panted back.

“Thought you couldn’t fight the livin’.” He reminded her.

“I can’t” She admitted.

Daryl’s restrained breathlessness hadn’t come from their brief fight, but more from his inability to ignore the magnetism he felt whenever he was near her. Jess’s was a mixture of both their strenuous activity and her deep feelings for him, now strengthened by his need to shield her from any harm that may come her way.

“Guess I am scared of somethin’ after all.” He deliberated

“What’s that?”

“Hurtin’ you.” He admitted.

It was the same for her. She was adamant that she wouldn’t go too far, hit too hard or do anything to leave any pain that lingered. Hurting Daryl was the last thing she wanted and she found herself relating to his statement, but choosing not to acknowledge it with anything more than a feeble nod. Upon moving away from her and allowing her to crawl to a sitting position with her legs stretched out in a V shape, Daryl offered her some constructive criticism which was gratefully received by Jess, who had a genuine burning desire to be able to hold her own should she be faced with two more men who chose to be monsters.

“So much for discussing lesson plans.” She sighed even though she’d gained more pointers from this one, short attempt at fighting than she had at an hour-long lesson inside the walls.

“This was more fun.” Daryl commented. He liked how the stray strands of her hair blew like ribbons in the breeze when they fell from her braid, tickling around her face and tempting him to touch them, to softly graze her skin at every opportunity. She brushed them from her eyes and looked thoughtfully across the fairground.

“Yeah, it was” she uttered.

Jess picked at the grass, collecting long strands of green and winding them around her index finger before ripping them from the earth. But her attention wasn’t on the empty patches of dirt she left in her wake, it was on Daryl and the fact that he’d saved her life. Again. Her eyes lifted to find him already staring at her through his hair, his features set in a serious look.

“Thank you for saving me the other day. I should have said that before.” She offered.

“No need. I’d do it over n’ over. You know that.” he responded. She took his short but sincere reply as the end of it and resumed her grass trimming ritual.

The big issue hanging over them both was the kiss. The sudden, thoughtless and shocking kiss that had rooted Daryl to the spot and sent Jess fleeing in a daze of horror and humiliation. He’d tried to bring it up, accepting that talking it over was something that had to happen for both of their sakes. But Jess was less convinced of its importance while she wished she could turn back time and make a different decision in that moment. As he sat opposite her on the grass and observed her peacefully picking at the blades with her fingers, he guessed that it was as good a time as any. They were alone and without interruption or distraction.

“Jess?” He started.”We ever gonna talk ‘bout what happened afterwards?”

She stilled instantly with her fingertips pinched around a daisy. He could see her chest expand when she drew in a deep troubled breath, her eyes flickered around the area between her knees. Daryl felt like he was holding his breath for the duration of time that it took for her to reply to him and he could do nothing but endure the wait of time ticking by, thirty seconds, then forty.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She finally said.

Now, he had to be braver, pushier but not demanding. He was treading on thin ice and at the wrong comment, Jess could well have fled into her home and refused to acknowledge that day ever again. It wasn’t an option for Daryl, he needed answers.

“Pretty sure you kissed me.” He braved.

“Please” She scoffed. “That wasn’t a kiss.”

He was baffled. He was as sure as the sun rose every morning that she had stormed up to him in Aaron and Eric’s house and kissed him. After all, he should know, it had been a long time since he’d felt the lips of a female on his and he was highly unlikely to be able to forget the fact that this time around, it was Jess.

“Sure felt like it.” He tried to argue in the most non-confrontational way he could.

Jess got to her feet and flicked the grass from her pants. She made eye contact with him, but only for a brief spell before it became too uncomfortable to withstand. Her defensive side was creeping out.

“Yeah? Well you don’t get to say what it was; you didn’t participate.” She remarked as she stomped across the ground to collect her knife and bow. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to head inside.”

I guess that’s the end of that. He thought.

“Alright.” He admitted defeat and didn’t bother to question her further. He wasn’t in the mood for an argument, especially one about such a touchy subject that he thought he might now be willing to let go after seeing her dislike for the subject being raised. It would still resonate every time he looked at her, that much was evident. But to save her closing up and getting mad at him, he shelved the issue for the time being.

The next couple of days saw Abraham, Glenn and Daryl making several trips to a nearby quarry to gather yet more building supplies. The tower was being expanded and basements secured and concealed as hiding places. The area around the walls was being improved with a walkway and platforms with spaces to mount rifles and sadly, the graveyard was being expanded.

Rick was barely seen for 48 hours while he embarked on a low key, one-man mission to find any more tracks of enemy groups that may be laying in wait to attack the town. So far, nothing had been found and he and Deanna could only conclude that for the time being, they were safe enough.

Jess was sitting with the town’s leader on the front porch when a truck rolled through the gates and Abraham, Glenn and Daryl climbed out and began unloading wood and metal beams from the back. Jess had been talked into accepting a lemonade from Deanna, which was much to her irritation but to save face and not come across as though she was a harbinger of misery, she gracefully agreed and promised herself than ten minutes of chit chat would do the trick. Really, she just wanted to go back to the Fairground and hide, as she had done since the attack. The only things bringing her out of her sanctuary being the unavoidable or the necessary.

The truck appeared just in time for Jess to make her excuses and leave as Deanna began to mention moving inside the walls once more. With a subtle eye roll and a sigh, Jess placed her empty glass on the table, thanked Deanna for her hospitality and hopped down the steps towards the truck, where Abraham was buckled over and complaining to anyone within earshot that he’d pulled something in his back.

Without thinking too much of it and under Daryl’s speculative gaze as he helped Glenn move the materials, Jess set to work on loosening the knots in Abraham’s back using her thumbs to dig deep into the muscles in the hope of increasing the blood flow and lessening the pain. Abraham’s reddened face started to calm and gradually he managed to straighten back up again. Jess kept her distance, uneasy about being so close to anyone. She’d managed it with Daryl during their sparring but it wasn’t without its tribulations and she still didn’t trust her own mental health to hold up while so close to another person. She felt her own face flush with heat when Abraham began moaning loudly and attracting the attention of everyone around.

“Yeeeeah! That’s right girl, don’t stop!” He cried while she worked on his lower back, making sure that she wasn’t just moving the problem to another area. In his waistband, was a 9mm that she brushed the handle off as she went. “Careful of my gun, honey. You’re gonna make it go off all over the joint at this rate” He chuckled “It’s loaded.”

“Oh, shut up, Abe.” Jess scoffed, still uncomfortable but wanting to help her friend and failing to hide a grin. Catching Daryl’s eye as he stalked past, she noticed him taking a drag on a cigarette and scowling at them both.

“You wanna go a little further down, there? You can play with the beanbag. I’ll let ‘cha.” He added.

“Ew!” Jess squealed back.

No matter how she dressed it up and no matter how together Abraham was with Rosita, Daryl still struggled not to feel the unwanted familiarity of jealousy when she giggled along like she was a small child, totally enthralled. He couldn't say anything about it, to do so would have put their friendship at risk, and that was something he wouldn’t do without definitive proof that she felt the same. Friends like her don't come along too often. Maybe if he had a little more height and a little more presence along with a vulgar sense of humor, she might forget about the large military man that garnered so much of her attention, but the truth as he saw it, was that on a generous assessment, his own looks and personality were less than ordinary but far from appealing.

A slap rang out across the street when Jess’s hand collided with Abraham's shoulder and she shoved him away from her, chuckling loudly at his boisterous sense of humor. Abe placed a big hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze, thanking her for her assistance and turning slightly more serious when she twisted away from him and let her smile fade at the discomfort of the physical contact. Daryl pretended to sort the smaller chunks of wood and brackets on the back seat, gaining himself a front row seat to their conversation.

“You alright? You look kinda tired” Abraham noticed. Jess wrinkled her forehead and squinted in the sunshine.

“I’m fine. Just not sleeping much.” She admitted.

“Well, you watch your 6 out there while you’re huntin’ and tired. Or, I’ma have to rat you out to ya boyfriend.” He warned.

“Daryl isn’t the boss of me, Abraham.” She corrected boldly with a hint of sass.

Abraham’s face lit up and he chortled to himself while peering down his nose at her. Totally unaware of what she’d just said, she raised her hands in a clueless gesture.

“What?” She asked.

“Oh nothin’…It’s just…who said I meant Daryl?” He replied with a wide grin under his mustache.

The trucks door slammed and Jess flinched at the sound, whirling around in time to see Daryl sling a heavy canvas bag over his shoulder and glimpse at her as if he was running away from something. She waited for him to join Glenn on the other side of the street before slowly turning back to Abraham with her jaw taut and her hand tapping her thigh nervously.

I really hope he didn’t hear that.

Abraham stepped closer to her and guided her around the truck and out of Daryl’s sight by her elbow “Y’know, he might have the cure to your grouchiness, young lady.” He suggested with a knowing grin.

“Don’t you dare” She warned with a thin smile and a wag of her finger.

“C’mooooon, don’t tell me you don’t wanna pet that Python.” He beamed, shooting her a quick wink.

“What?! Abe! No!” She exclaimed. Horrified at his crude and yet not entirely unfunny remark.

“Well why the hell not?!” He asked.

She briefly stared off into space, at nothing in particular and tried to figure out a way of explaining the situation to him without drawing more dirty comments out of him. Clinging to the only thing she thought he could maybe relate to, she tried her luck.

“You a Star Wars fan?” She started

“I seen the movies, yeah.” He shrugged.

“OK, so I’m like a Padawan in this apocalypse. He’s my Jedi master, teaching me the ways of the force. They don’t have relationships.”

His bushy eyebrows changed position as he thought it over but her explanation was soon met with an incredulous expression and a huff of disbelief.

“Shit, girl” He commented “It ain’t no lightsaber. It’s not gonna take ya hand off”

Before the conversation could get any worse and before her anxiety reared its ugly head, Jess decided to beat a hasty retreat.

“I gotta get back to the fairground. Goodbye, Abraham.” She said sternly, seeing him chuckle back at her and raise a hand in a departing wave.

Spinning around and heading for the gate, she very nearly charged straight into Daryl, who was returning to the truck to collect the last of the materials. His eyes connected with hers before darting away again, concentrating on hauling the door open with a notable amount of strength and much more than was actually needed. She backed away from him, almost able to see the anger seething from him like smoke from a fire.

“What’s with the long face?” She questioned hesitantly.

“Nothin’.” He grumbled under his breath, reaching into the truck cab and retrieving his crossbow. He slung it over his shoulder and slammed the door shut so loudly that Deanna rose from her seat on the porch and craned her neck to check there was nothing dramatic going on. Jess moved back and decided that she was too exhausted for one of Daryl’s complicated moods and went to turn to the gate when she heard him mutter something from behind her.

“Why’s he gotta do that?”

She slowly looked back at him, his face was stony, as it had been for the duration of Abraham’s massage and he was seemingly doing absolutely nothing to hide it.

“Who? Abe?” She checked. Soon opting not to wait for a reply. “He’s just joking.”

“Yeah, well it pisses me off” He blurted out against his better judgement. He had set out to mask his jealousy, to keep it inside and not mention it again, but his anger could make him impulsive and reckless and, as was apparent at that moment, snappy.

“Are you jealous again?” Jess asked. If he wasn’t going to acknowledge it, she was going to do it for him. Far be it from her to be subjected to and expected to suffer the moody nature of Daryl’s complex thinking. She’d done nothing wrong and wasn’t about to tiptoe around him and pander to a reaction that was his problem, not hers.

“No” he grunted.

“I think you are. But whatever you say” she sighed as she walked away. That was the end of it as far as she was concerned and having known Daryl for as long as she did, she began to wait until he swallowed his pride and sought her out to offer a shy apology.

Her suspicions were confirmed when he showed up at the fairgrounds gate when she was softy rocking back and forth in one of the Ferris wheel carts. He paced about impatiently while she climbed down and ambled towards the gate, unlocking it and allowing him inside. With his fingers shoved into his pockets, he nervously watched her through the greasy front strands of his hair and nibbled on his bottom lip.

“Sorry… ‘bout back there.” He mumbled. “Don’t know what got into me”

His urgent need to apologize was fueled by his inability to keep his mouth shut and the horror he felt when he thought back over how he’d behaved and the things he’d blurted out uncontrollably.

“Jealousy got into you. But it’s okay, forget it.” She snapped.

All at once, fatigue hit her out of the blue and a simple yawn turned into a stumble backwards against a disused trash can. She grabbed backwards with her hands, steadying herself and feeling Daryl grip one of her elbows. He dragged his vision up and down her body, paying careful attention to her eyes, which were boasting dark circles underneath. Regaining her stance, she managed to stand back up again.

“You gonna tell me what’s goin on?” he pressed.

“Nothing-” She tried.

“-Jess you look like shit.”

She blinked dramatically at him, more to clear her vision than anything else but his direct and reasonably hurtful comment was not lost on her.

“Wow. Thanks. Just leave if you don’t want to look at me.” She remarked.

“I-I don’t mean that how it sounded. You look exhausted. It ain’t good. Ya never look like this. I ain’t seen ya eat nothin’ in days. Ya don’t wanna be near nobody.” His observations were not unfounded and very little got past him when it came to Jess. She was his reason to smile, only she hadn’t been doing a lot of that herself since the attack.

“Well, I could use losing the extra pounds and that’s ridiculous, I’m around people all the time.” She argued.

“Oh really? Cause ya don’t spend time with nobody no more. When was the last time ya had a real conversation with Aaron? Huh?” It was a rhetorical question and one he knew she couldn’t protest at. “Ya lock yaself up in this place and you’re in and out of Alexandria quicker than a fuckin’ mail man.”

“That’s complete crap” She scoffed.

“Alright” He spat “Fine” His tone was aggravated but determined and she could tell he was up to something straight away.

He moved closer to her, looming over her and standing so close that when he inhaled, his chest almost touched hers. Her senses exploded and she became intoxicated by him. Her eyes fluttered and her heart rate quickened.

“Then you won’t mind if I stand right here.” He growled “See? You’re scared.” He watched her breathing change and her lips part. “You’re breathin’ hard. Can see ya hands shakin’ too.”

Scared? I’m not scared of you. I’m in love with you and you’re standing so close to me I could kiss you again.

“That’s not because I’m scared of you, you idiot.” She whispered. “It’s because I’m not. Y-you don’t scare me. You make me nervous.”

Jess couldn’t recall another soul that she’d met in her life that made her as nervous as Daryl did. Everything about him set her on edge but in the best way possible. If only he wanted her the way she wanted him, the chemistry would be electric.

“That ain’t good.” He told her.

“It is.” She corrected “It means I care what you think of me.”

“Right now, I think ya need to tell me what’s goin’ on with you.” He took one small step back to allow her some breathing room but at the same time cementing the fact that until she was honest with him, he wasn’t going anywhere. But Jess was reluctant, feeling childish and ashamed that her nightmares were having such an impact on her life. They were just dreams, bad dreams that she knew were not real. But their vivid and realistic nature was enough to mean they stayed with her all day long. She understood that a problem shared was usually a problem halved, but could Daryl really help her with something as complicated and personal as night terrors? He’d made it clear that he was the one that she was to tell if she needed to talk about anything and for that gesture of reaching out to her, she felt she owed him the truth.

“Nightmares. Okay? I have nightmares about that night.” She admitted.

Daryl sighed and closed his eyes briefly. He was smarter than to expect her to come out of such an ordeal with no lasting psychological effects, even if it was the apocalypse. Dreams were something he had some experience with himself and when he thought of how bad his own could get and so many years on from his trauma, his heart lurched and he wanted to hold onto her.

“Jess…” he paused “…do you, do you feel safe…with me?” he asked.

“Yes” She answered straight away “You’re the only person I feel safe with.”

He nodded and backed away from her but she could tell he was still deep in thought. She took a couple of steps around him in an attempt to see his face but he lowered his head and stroked his beard. She wondered if she should end the conversation there and then and vanish inside. But something about his body language was telling her to stay put.

“I’ll stay.” He eventually said, turning to see her eyebrows raise.

“What?” She croaked.

“I’ll stay here with ya tonight and any other nights you need. I’ll watch ya back while you sleep. Keep ya safe.” He offered.

Jess was touched and bowled over by his willingness to stay right by her side until he knew she was okay. She’d never have anyone exercise such a fierce protective side over her before and for a moment, she considered that if he never wanted her the way she wished he did, he would make an attentive and devoted partner for someone else.

“I can’t expect you to do that.” She told him.

“Would it help?” he asked.

“Maybe. Probably.”

“We’re friends, right?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’m here until ya don’t need me to be.”

She almost dived on him and wrapped her arms around him. It was this secret, sensitive and thoughtful side of him that she’d fallen for. The Daryl that hardly anyone got to see, anyone except her and because he chose to show her through his trust in her. The idea of some real sleep was a tempting one and after a lingering glance with Daryl, Jess agreed to let him stay.

The inside of the Diner was proof that Jess wasn’t coping with her exhaustion and the aftermath of the attack. Her living space, usually tidy and organized, was messy. Clothes were strewn everywhere along with empty cans and thin strips of wood for arrows that had never been touched. Books were discarded on the coffee table and the bed was unmade. It was totally different to how he’d seen it before and it only served to increase his worry for her.

She used the Diners kitchen to change into an over-sized T-shirt and shorts for the night and as she did so, Daryl averted his gaze from the view through the transparent display fridge, affording her some privacy and dignity no matter how much he wanted to witness the beauty of her that she seemed to know nothing about. He removed his boots and vest and settled in an armchair opposite her bed, draping his vest over his arms in defense of the slight, biting cold in the room. When she returned, she wordlessly slid under the covers. Daryl shuffled around in the chair and prepared to keep a close vigil over her, when he glanced up and saw her staring at him.

“What is it? You okay?” He questioned.

“We’re friends and we have shared beds before.” She pointed out “You’re not sleeping on that chair. Come here.”

He had no interest in arguing but made sure not to leave the chair too quickly for fear of coming across as too keen. She moved to the far side and spread the pillows out as Daryl sat beside her and lay back. He fluffed the pillows behind his back, wanting to ensure he was slightly more elevated than her so he could see her should she wake. Jess snuggled down beside him and closed her eyes.

After a while, he realized that he hadn’t stopped looking at her, examining every part of her and resisting the urge to trace his fingertips over her bare upper arm and through her hair. A deep sigh escaped her lips and he didn’t know why or what had changed but he wasn’t strong enough to resist anymore. He felt down her arm with his fingertips and it set her skin alight with a blissful tingling. Torn between not reacting and finding a way to let him know she wasn’t going to push him away, she looked up at him and was floored when he lifted his arm and nudged his head up at her. Her mind was crowded with questions. Why was he doing this? Did he really want her to be closer to him? Was he going to change his mind? She would find no answers through inaction and so, she pulled herself closer to him. He remained there, waiting with his arm up and it dawned on her; he was trying to tell her that she should sleep on him. Knowing a good opportunity when she saw it and believing it to be a one off that she would never forget, she didn’t ask if he was sure. Instead, she nervously rested her head and hand on his chest, feeling the powerful beat of his heart under her palm. He closed his arm around her, over her shoulders and it was like a switch was flicked when she fell into a deep sleep. No flinching, no skin crawling, no trembling. Just peace.

Daryl spent the next few hours drifting in and out of a light snooze, waking every time he remembered where he was, why he was there and that Jess was out for the count on his chest. It was a momentous occasion for him, having never even slept in the same bed as another woman, let alone one he cared so much about. Disregarding his own inhibitions and allowing such a thing was not something he’d ever thought would happen. But it had and he knew when she began to whimper and jolt in her sleep that he would do just about anything to keep her in one piece and by his side. He gently drew her closer, gradually enveloping her in both arms so as not to wake her and startle her. Her hair was as soft as silk under his fingers as he hushed her and lulled her back to a peaceful sleep;

“Shh. I got you. S’alright. Shh”

Morning broke and with it came the slither of bright light through the gap in the concealed windows. In the seconds that preceded her waking, she struggled to remember where she was or why she was there. Somehow wondering why she was not in her bed in her apartment surrounded by her dragon collection and listening to the street below as the world woke up. Then, reality hit and the comfy, warm pillow under her turned out to be Daryl. It all came flooding back. She didn’t know if he was awake or not and lay as still as possible to avoid him detecting that she was no longer asleep. She was going to hold onto this treat for as long as she possibly could. She nuzzled closer to him and to her delight, felt him hold her tighter. Her heart began to flutter and her stomach hummed with butterflies when it occurred to her that he’d pushed his face into her hair and was rubbing his thumb over the skin of her upper arm.

This is bliss. Pure bliss. I think I died in the night and this is heaven.

Daryl could not believe his luck. He wondered why it didn’t feel strange to him or make him tense and nervous because of so much physical affection that he just wasn’t used to. Having only ever been touched by hands with violent intent, he was surprised to find that snuggling Jess just felt right to him. In the darkness her skin felt like a little touch of heaven, warm, together, cozy. He wished he could extend the night just so he could stay close to her for longer, with her safe in his embrace. His arms wrapped right around her brought a peace he’d never known before, a calming of the storms in his heart and he hoped it was the same for her too, although he may never know. But it was her that gave him hope for the future, made him start to believe that there was nothing out there to fear. But then he would have to leave, maybe before the sun is fully risen in the sky and he must stand alone again, be his own person instead of Jess’s person.

Why am I not freakin’ out here? Shit. I don’t ever want to move.

She fought with all her might but Jess could not manage to hold in a small cough and had no choice but to let him know she was awake. He instantly felt as though she would want to move away but when he tried to release her from his arms, she held onto him, sliding the hand on his chest over his torso and clinging to him.

“No. Just…A little while longer.” She whispered. “Please”

Maybe I shouldn’t be assuming so much. This girl is full of surprises.

More than happy to stay put, Daryl accepted that it was what he wanted. He wanted to be able to do this with her every night. He wanted to be the person she trusted and felt safe with and ran to. He wanted to be able to hold her and kiss her and soothe her.

After her restful sleep, disturbed by only the beginning of a nightmare before it filtered out to nothing, Jess slowly rolled over, trapping his arm beneath her neck, stretching her muscles and cracking her back. He tried to look away, to give her the same privacy as he did before, but she was mesmerizing. He noted the fading bruises on her thighs, fading to a green. Apparently not picking up on his admiration of her, Jess sat up with messy hair and sleepy eyes and took his hand, turning it over and leaving a delicate kiss on his skin which felt like tiny sparks of electricity flitting through his entire arm.

“Thank you.” She whispered before shuffling off the bed and leaving him there, stunned and unable to stop smiling to himself.

At the vegetable patch, Jess caught Aaron as he took a break from digging in the heat and shared her bottle of water with him. She’d arrived back from her Walker clearing duties and re-filled it in the pantry, along with filling her backpack with her weekly rations of canned and dried goods. Her head was stuffed, filled with too many thoughts and weighted with tiredness. She’d woken twice during every night since, nightmares plaguing her and bringing with them terror, cold sweats and a reluctance to sleep at all. Every night except the night she'd slept on Daryl's chest.

Aaron, having been worried about Jess since the attack but unable to speak to her properly, was finally grateful to get a moment alone with her, which was something she’d avoided very openly. When he confronted her and asked why she’d pretended as if he didn’t exist, she admitted that she was having difficulty processing what had happened. That the events of that night were still all too fresh in her mind and that she didn’t quite feel like herself yet. He accepted it with more understanding than she'd thought and also thanked her from the bottom of his heart for saving his life that day.

After giving him just enough information to placate his questioning, she informed him that she didn’t need to keep talking about it. In fact, she would rather not and expressed that she just needed time and patience to be able to move past it. However, there was one thing she wanted to run by him and there was no one else that she ever would have imagined telling other than Aaron. She swore him to secrecy, once again threatening to destroy his collection of license plates from across the states.

Aaron quickly swiped the back of his glove across his sweaty brow and got comfortable on the wall where they perched, passing the bottle back and forth between them. Jess tapped on the outside of the plastic with one fingernail while she tried to find the right words to convey exactly what had happened between her and Daryl that night.

“When he saved me, in the house. I think I had some kind of breakdown. I was terrified. I was crying, and then…then I was laughing.” She said with a confused snort of entertainment. Hearing it said out loud made it even harder to decipher. She handed him the bottle and he took a large gulp. “I couldn’t control it and it was because…I was alive. I was alive because of Daryl. I-I didn’t think, Aaron. I just…I kissed him.”

A choking sound spluttered from beside her and she turned her head to see Aaron coughing and staring at her in shock. He wiped his lips and blinked at her for a moment before clearing his throat and shuffling closer on the

“Uh, you did what?” he asked.

Jess glanced around at the other workers. She could see Eric through the green bean trellis, his eyebrows knitted together at the thought of Jess and Aaron sharing gossip without him. At the other end of the patch, Carol and Carl were picking fruits with Judith, who Jess could hear singing to herself without a care in the world. As she picked raspberries, she ate them intermittently; one for the pot, one for Judith and so on. Unbeknownst to Jess and Aaron, Daryl was smoking against the partition wall in front of the gate, at the back of the brick built one they were sitting on. It was the waiting area for those gearing up to leave for supply runs. Having heard his name mentioned, he edged closer to find he could hear every single word of their conversation. He smirked to himself, took a drag on his smoke and leaned back, enjoying the show.

“I kissed him. I made a huge mistake.” Jess reiterated in a low voice

“Why do you think it was a mistake?” Aaron questioned.

She closed her eyes and felt dread course through her body when she remembered how her lips connected with Daryl’s and how he’d stood there like a statue, shocked and baffled by her behavior.

“Because he doesn’t want that from me. He didn’t kiss me back. In fact, he froze up and I just… I just ran.” She relayed.

Aaron remembered watching her flee from the house as though the devil was chasing her and Eric wanting to go after her. Maybe if he’d let him, he’d have been told about Jess’s rogue kiss sooner. But the look on her face and the desperation with which she left the town, like she was nothing but a fleeting shadow, told him that she wouldn’t be sitting next to him and confessing with her sanity somewhat intact if she’d been made to admit everything at the time.

“I see.” He sighed, “So, what’s going on with you two now?”

She’d never been more confused in her life about the dynamics of her relationship with another person. This was a first and Jess couldn’t honesty put her finger on what exactly was happening between them, if there was anything.

“I mean, I still think he’s amazing and super-hot and we hug now, we-we do that. And hand holding. We do that now too. We also…snuggled” She confessed shyly.

“You snuggled?!” Aaron gasped, a little louder than Jess was comfortable with. She held her hand out flat in front of him, lowering it to signal that he should take more care over the volume of his voice.

“Yes. I have these bad dreams. He was taking care of me. It was the most blissful thing I’ve ever experienced and I can probably die happy now. I don’t know what it meant though. Do you? What does it mean?” She questioned in a panic.

Aaron could only shake his head as if there was too much going on, he was staring at her in disbelief at how she couldn’t possibly see what was so obvious to him.

“Kiss him again.” He instructed, ignoring her previous questions and getting straight to the point.

“What?! And prolong this torture?! No!” She growled at him quietly.

“You caught him off guard,” he explained “ Kiss him again and he’ll kiss you back. I know he will. I just know it.”

Jess wasn’t convinced, in fact, the whole idea was absurd to her and it also carried far too much risk. She considered herself lucky that Daryl was even still speaking to her, the last thing she wanted to do was send him running for the hills after giving him another unwanted kiss.

“You don’t know that. Stop getting all excited, I’m not kissing him again.” She dismissed. “There’s no point. No matter how much I like him, he doesn’t like me in the same way.”

“Oh, you’re so wrong” Aaron laughed as he handed her the bottle back with a thud against her arm. She snatched it away from him and narrowed her gaze.

“You’re supposed to be helping me through this minefield, not making it worse!” She told him. Her vision lifted to see Daryl appear at the corner having come from the gate and she momentarily stilled with sheer terror at the thought of him having heard their conversation. But he looked like he’d just arrived and seemed relaxed enough and so, she clung onto that tiny shred of hope.

“Aaaanndd that’s how I think Vision or Dr strange could probably fix all this” she lied with her eyebrows high at Aaron, who slowly started to nod when he noted Daryl’s presence.

“Yes. Yes! Absolutely. I think you’re right.” He commented, adding to Jess’s thin and pointless untruth.

That day Jess was restless and after having heard the one thing he’d been longing to hear for so long, so was Daryl. Finally, he had confirmation that she did, in fact, like him as more than a friend and it had become a struggle for him to go about his day without a smile on his face, which he knew everyone and their uncle would soon notice due to it being so far removed from how he usually conducted himself.

Jess found herself in the armory after offering to take over for a couple of hours, it was an unusual task for her but one that kept her busy and away from Daryl, who she couldn’t stop staring at as he cleaned his bike on the drive of the Grimes home. Her job was simple, to count all the guns and ammo and report any discrepancies. Rick was already out and there were no other runs scheduled that day so she figured she would be done before midday and could spend the rest of the morning at the fairground until it was time for training. Which had been pushed back to the late afternoon to avoid anyone getting sunstroke from the heat.

Cleaning his bike was not a pointless task, he was preparing for a recruiting run which, to his delight meant he had to visit the armory to check out a gun. He wasn’t sure that he liked the giddy, happy feeling that was dwelling in his chest and stomach, was this how teenagers felt when they developed a crush for the first time? Still, he couldn’t help it and it was so strong he found that he couldn't concentrate on little else as he polished the same spot on the tank of his bike over and over again. His next course of action was a mystery to him, finding out such information was not common in Daryl’s world. In fact, it was unheard of and he was now in new territory and faced with two options; forget he’d heard what Jess had said and do nothing in the knowledge that she had no designs on kissing him again. Or, make a move. The latter was terrifying to him, but it was also the one thing he wanted more than anything, the chance to be with Jess in the way they both seemed to want. But, there was something stopping him; his belief that despite how much he cared for her, Jess deserved better than he could ever offer.

The armory was quiet as Jess worked her way through the neatly written checklists of guns and ammo. Shelf by shelf she ticked them off, checking their condition and cleaning the shelves and racking. It was a job normally performed by Olivia, who also oversaw the rationing of food from the pantry. She had been more than happy to hand over the reins when Jess turned up looking for a job that would take her away from other human beings for a while. She hummed a gentle tune to herself as she worked, coming to the end of a row and planting herself in Olivia's dilapidated swivel chair. She signed the paperwork off and held her breath when Daryl wandered into the room, nudged his head up at her and began picking through the guns.

“Take what you want but just tell me what you’re taking so I can cross it off.” She told him without looking up from the list. She flipped the page and began to scan through the names of the ammunition that was kept in a closet at the end of the room. It was silent in the armory, so much so, that she felt the need to raise her gaze and check on Daryl. She peered at him over the top of the clipboard. He was smirking at her.

“What?” She asked uneasily.

“Nothin’.” He replied, picking up a gun and sucking both lips into his mouth to disguise the strong smile that was forming.

Jess wasn’t convinced, something was amiss and she could feel it in her gut. Something had changed and there was a clear difference in how Daryl was acting.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she demanded as she stood up and lowered the clipboard to her side.

“I ain’t lookin’ atcha like nothin’.” He said, his lips now curling at the sides and his eyes lighting up.

“You keep smiling at me.” She pointed out.

Shit. Can’t fuckin’ help it, girl.

“Maybe I’m just havin’ a good day.” He reasoned.

Jess dropped the clipboard onto the chair and slowly moved closer to him, growing more and more suspicious with each step. It briefly crossed her mind that he may have heard her conversation with Aaron earlier on, but it was unlikely, they’d both been careful to keep their voices down and when Daryl had stepped into view, he’d given away no signs that he’d heard a thing and such subject matter was bound to provoke some kind of reaction. No, this was strange, it had to be something else and she wasn’t done questioning him.

“This is weird. You’re weird. You’re never having a good day and you sure as hell never smile this much. What is wrong with you?” She pressed, narrowing her gaze at him and finding it difficult not to copy his amused expression.

“I told ya, nothin’. Smilin’ ain’t no crime, Jess.” He answered with a small laugh, holding up the gun he’d chosen. She picked up the clipboard again and crossed it off, watching him carefully as he sauntered to the ammo room and plucked a box from the shelf.

She stopped talking but still glared intermittently at him. He continued to smirk at her and nibble his lower lip as he loaded the gun and made his way to the door. Leaning on the frame before he left, he lingered and toyed with the idea of taking her out with him. At least he would get to be close to her, knowing what he knew, no matter how inexplicable it was that she liked him.

“Goin lookin’ for people. You could come with” He suggested.

“No. I’m going home once I’m done here. Be careful out there” she murmured as she scanned the names on the page, ticking off the items Daryl had selected and marking them as ‘checked out’ with Daryl’s initials at the side.

“You feel better?” he questioned

Then, she met his eye and the very real memory of her curled up in his arms flashed through her head. She did feel better, as if he’d been some kind of medicine to her and fought off the nightmares with his presence alone.

“Yeah. Much better. Thank you.” She said.

“You know I can be there with ya anytime, right? Just gotta say” He reminded her in the hope that she would take him up on it once more. She presented him with a small smile and nod before she sat down again and bit down on the end of her pencil.

“Jess” he rasped.

“Mm?” She hummed, still fixated on the page in her lap. He’d lost her attention and admitted defeat.

You kissed me and it’s driving me crazy

“Nothin’. See ya around.”

Recruiting was useless when there was so much hanging over him, yet he persevered, trudging through humid fields and tracking what turned out to be nothing but Walkers. The grass was dry and crackled under his boots when he crossed through open land to check wooded areas for signs of camps or discarded food containers. But he found nothing, only the restless cycling of his mind and the nervousness in his hands as he tried to roll a smoke. Loath to continue on as he was, he decided that he had to say something. He was sure that he had little to nothing to offer her past the friendship he’d already provided, but if it meant things were clearer and he was surer about where he stood, it was worth the discomfort of asking about the kiss yet again.

Arriving back at Alexandria as the sun was going down, he dismounted his bike and took in the pleasant orange glow that illuminated the town. Dusk always seemed to be picturesque since the end of the world, or maybe he just never appreciated it before. He was always following Merle, treading in his footsteps, being the run around, ducking from the cops and wasting his time in bars or laying on the couch as high as a kite. Now, he could enjoy the things he missed from before, like the sunset, the sunrise, the gentle sway of the leaves in the woods when he was in the tower and the blue-eyed, dark-haired nerd that grabbed his sanity and ran away with it at a quarry one day.

Jess was sitting by the pond, fiddling with the straps on her finger-less gloves and adjusting her bracers. She’d removed them to take part in close combat training, a lesson which she was finding to be beneficial not only in skills, but as a distraction from the traumatized state of mind she drifted around in. Daryl sat beside her and for what ended up being a number of minutes, neither of them spoke. He leaned back on the bench, stretching his legs and resting one ankle over the other. Wishing there was some kind of rule book he could follow that would talk him through how to approach such tedious subjects, he sighed loudly, drawing Jess’s attention.

“Find any signs of life today?” She questioned while pondering where his smug and smiley attitude from just hours before had disappeared to.

“Nah. Waste of time.” He grumbled.

“Training went well this afternoon.” She told him “Thanks for the fight the other day. I think I needed the perspective. Y’know, measure what I was capable of before so I had a starting point.”

“No problem. Didn’t do nothin’ Abraham wouldn’t have done.” He snipped. Jess chose to ignore the dig at her friend, putting it down to his ever-growing jealousy and the denial with which he tried to hide it. Confronting him about it would only end badly.

“Yeah, right. Abraham is a great teacher, but extra-curricular lessons with him would be a little too much.” She mused with a small huff “He’d probably have me in tears or smoking cigars-”

“-why’d you kiss me?” Daryl asked, forcing the question out and turning slightly to face her. She was statue still with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open from being interrupted. Daryl’s heart began to hammer in his chest and he considered that maybe he should have just ignored what he’d heard, that way, nothing had to change.

“W-what?” She stammered.

“Don’t say ya didn’t, cause ya did.” He warned carelessly. Words were tumbling from his lips without him thinking about them at all as impulse took over “I know I asked before but ya shot me down without a real answer n’ I’m sorry…but I need to know, Jess.”

Very slowly, her mouth closed and she licked her bottom lip, turning her body to face the pond and scanning the dimly lit floor beneath her boots. She could tell him the truth; that she was in love with him and that’s why she kissed him. Or, she could protect their friendship and go with the more painful half-truth, that she was overwhelmed and couldn’t control her actions. What she really wanted to do to escape the pressure, was say very little. Just enough to satisfy his questioning.

“I…I don’t know.” She croaked.

He nodded once and leaned forwards, rubbing his face with both of his hands. Why did this have to be so complicated? So far, he’d not progressed any further than he had when he first sat down. Why didn’t she know? Dissatisfied with her answer, he released a quiet, frustrated growl that told her in no uncertain terms that he was not happy.

She’s never going to tell me, is she? She told Aaron, but she won’t tell me…?

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I didn’t mean to confuse everything. I don’t know what I was thinking”

“Mm. Wish I did.” He admitted with no regard for how irritated he sounded.

Sensing that she’d touched a nerve and bothered him with her inexplicable actions and dislike for deliberating the subject, she was well aware that any further attempts to make things right could end in a fight or, worse still, the end of their friendship. Unbearable guilt festered in the pit of her stomach and while she’d dreamed of kissing him a thousand times over, she would take it back in a heartbeat if she could.

“I should get back. It’s late. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She sighed, rising from the bench and pacing away from the pond. Before Daryl could think of something to stop her, she was already through the gate. Anger began to spike in his veins. All he wanted was a straight answer, so he could tell her that he liked her too, but she was better off with someone who had more to offer. But now, their friendship was left in choppy waters and sinking fast. He sprang up from the bench and stormed after her.

Jess clicked on the battery-operated light that hung above the lock for the gate to the Fairground and released the mechanism. She’d practically sprinted all the way back, literally trying to run away from her problems without stopping once on the journey. Now, she took a moment to pause and rested her forehead against the cold metal of the fence post. She let out a long sigh, hoping it would regulate the nerves and sadness in her heart. She hated that she’d angered him, hated that she’d confused him and put him in a position where he was forced to question her bizarre actions twice.

Aaron was wrong, she was sure of that. There wasn’t a chance in hell that he’d want her to kiss him again and so, she resigned herself to trying to repair the damage done by acting as if nothing had changed. It would be hard and it would hurt like hell. But it had to be done because having Daryl as a friend was better than not having Daryl at all.

A rustle from behind her had her gripping the gate post, ready to haul it open when she saw the blurred reflection of a figure behind her in the metal. Just about able to make out something on the figures right shoulder, the penny dropped and she relaxed.

“Step to the left and you’ll lose your leg to a bear trap, clubfoot.” She quipped.

It was Daryl and the shape at his shoulder was his crossbow. Obviously forgetting his stealth skills, he’d charged through the woods in pursuit of her and given hardly any thought to what he would say when he caught up. Overthinking things hadn’t done him any favors before so, he went with his instincts.

“So fuckin smug, ain’t ya?” He scoffed with a side step to the right, away from the trap she’d mentioned.

Assuming his presence was down to his concern about her sleepless nights and bad dreams again, she moved to face him and leaned back against the gate.

“You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine.” She said softly.

“That ain’t why I’m here.” He stated.

Dread reached every limb in her body and she was sure she could even feel it in her toes. Had he really turned up there for a full-blown argument?!

“Then why are you here?” She questioned with a shaky voice and a hand tapping at her thigh. His eyes clocked her nervous ritual, one she’d had since the quarry and he worried that he was unsettling her a little too much. It wasn’t his aim but he needed to get to the bottom of exactly what was going on between them.

“It gonna happen again?” he asked. Halfway through his sentence, his voice cracked and Jess swallowed hard. All of a sudden, it became clear why he was there and what he was referring to. He wasn’t done discussing that kiss.

“Please, Daryl” Her eyes began to moisten and she huffed out a jagged breath “We have been over this. Can we just forget about that?”

I can’t forget about it. You kissed me and you like me and I have no idea why. But you are everything to me and it’s making me crazy. I can’t concentrate on shit; it’s messed my day up in the best way. I ain’t no good for you but you are all I think about and I think you need to know that.

“Can’t.” was the only word that croaked from his mouth.

“Well… try.” She pleaded with a slight stomp of one foot like a child having a tantrum.

“I have” he mumbled

“Oh, for god sakes.” She complained. Then, the floodgate opened and every thought she had on the subject seemed to pour out uncontrollably and once she started, she couldn’t find the strength to stop. “I was just overwhelmed, OK? I made a stupid split-second decision and it was wrong. I didn’t even know what I was doing until I was doing it and I’m sorry, you didn’t want it and I’d rather we just forgot about it instead of you making me re-live the humiliation like this. It’s like ‘Journal-reading 2.0’. It’s not fair, I would have thought it was obvious-“

“Jess?” he tried to cut in.

“-That I don’t want to talk about it because it could screw up our friendship and even though I think you’re a…damn fine looking man and you’re just amazing I don’t want you looking at me like I’m some kind of hussy or like I’m going to throw myself at you because really, it was just a one off and I was so happy to be alive. You saved me and I just got carried away with that, it’s not going to-“

“Jess?”

“-Happen again. I’ll make sure of that. I mean, I can admire from afar and you could just be a gentleman about it and not bring it up anymore. I hope I’ve answered your question and you’re going to stop being mad at m-”

He kissed her and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek as their breaths mingled and his tongue brushed the crease of her lips. She ran her fingers down the lapels of his leather vest, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and she could feel the beating of his heart against her chest. Although startled, her head filled with air like she was floating when she kissed him back. His kiss was deliberate and with just enough pressure to tell her that he really did want to do it but didn’t want to scare her.

It was the first time Daryl had kissed anyone in years and as he sensed her relax in his grasp, it occurred to him that he had never kissed anyone because he actually wanted to, until that fateful, memorable moment and it felt incredible, especially when he heard her whimper against him. Her knees were so weak she thought she might crumple but he was pushing her against the fence and her mind fell into a blissful, blank state where nothing mattered anymore. There were no Walkers, no death, no apocalypse. There was only her and Daryl and the fact that he had kissed her. Making it more than just a simple locking of lips, it was deep and filled with so much that neither of them could figure out how to say to each other.

When they broke apart for air, he rested his forehead against hers and gathered some much-needed oxygen. His blink and you’d miss it smirk told her everything she wished for, for so long and she could only stare at him, sinking into his hold.

“Just shut up.” He uttered.

Then, the smallest of laughs was exchanged between them and they finally made eye contact which proved to him that she was just as nervous as he was. She still stared up at him with a sparkle in her eyes that he had put there and her lips were slightly pink from the kiss. Daryl stepped back, breaking contact with her and dropping his hand. He could see her trying to speak, her mouth opening and closing again but all words would fail her and there simply was no point. She was rendered totally speechless and her knees were still weak and wobbly.

“Hey” He whispered, managing to gain her full attention for a second. “This ain’t over”.

With that, he backed up, taking care not to step on the bear trap and Jess could only watch as his shadowy figure vanished into the trees, leaving her astounded and undeniably happier than she’d been in a long, long time.

---tagged as requested---

@lilred254 @woundmetender @lonewolf471

Masterlist for This Time Around

#daryl #daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Photo

I can’t even with this.....the love. They are family, blood or not.

𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚔.

Bonus:

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around - Chapter 23

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 26/?

Back in Alexandria, it was early evening and Abraham was hauling wooden railway sleepers from a truck and dragging them to the vegetable patches along with some of the other members of the community. Daryl’s trip with Jess along with their prolonged hug had been playing on his mind over and over for hours and he felt his skin begin to crawl with anxiety if he sat still for too long and so, decided to give Abe a hand when he walked past and saw the sweat-covered, ginger man swearing to himself and dragging the heavy items around.

Daryl and Abraham weren’t exactly close. They trusted each other enough to have each-others backs and recognized each other’s fighting skills and abilities, along with the out-of-the-box way they both seemed to view the world. From time to time, they engaged in basic conversation but Abraham's brash and extroverted personality was the opposite of Daryl’s and he often found that his energy was sapped from a five-minute interaction. On this occasion, chat wasn’t needed but Daryl did have an ulterior motive. He had a question to ask and needed to hear the answer from Abraham’s point of view but had no idea how to go about it without letting the proverbial cat out of the bag. Spotting his chance when Rosita ambled past and held a hand up in a wave to them both, he decided to bite the bullet and just ask.

“You uh… you n’ Rosita, you still a thing?” He questioned warily.

Abraham slotted the sleeper he was holding into position with a swift and strong kick of his boot and wiped the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. His white vest was stained with perspiration on the front and his gloves were saturated from being used as towels.

“Still very much got me by the short n’ curlies.” He chuckled.

Daryl cleared his throat and checked over his shoulder, seeing most of the others gathering around the truck a good distance away to be able to overhear anything.

“Right. Right. So, you um, you ain’t gunnin’ for Jess?”

Abraham shot Daryl a suspicious look and his mouth curled into a smile beneath his thick mustache. He laughed loudly and did a double take at him while retrieving a cigar and a box of matches from his pocket and lighting up. It wasn’t a total surprise, he had to admit. He’d seen the way Daryl scowled and stalked off when he spoke to Jess and he was witness to the scene in the armory which had left her beside herself with guilt. Rick had also mentioned that he thought it to be a matter of time before things evolved between them. He wasn’t sure himself if he could see it happening at the time, but there was Daryl standing in front of him and asking if he had any romantic intentions for Jess.

“Goodness gracious, Ignatius.” He said tunefully, quickly lowering his voice and glancing around “She’s got your attention”

“What? Naw, man. I’m just checkin’.” Daryl denied a little less convincingly than he’d hoped. His heart rate was starting to increase and he was instantly regretting saying anything at all.

“Checkin’ for what, exactly?” Abraham pressed.

Panic jolted through him. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. Why exactly could he say he was asking? Jess had already put a stop to any ideas that they were more than friends, but Daryl had to be sure and cover all the bases. He just couldn’t admit to Abraham of all people that he had very confusing and strong feelings for his best friend before even telling Jess herself.

“She’s a friend. I don’t want her getting’ her ass kicked by Rosita. Y’know, this ain’t no romance novel bullshit.”

“Huh. My love life is more of a porno than a romance novel. I ain’t about to change it. So long as I can keep pouring’ the Bisquick without makin’ pancakes.” He remarked, amused at his own humorous take on things “Huh? Huh?” He encouraged with two nudges of Daryl’s arm.

“Right.” Was Daryl’s reserved response.

Abraham bustled past him, placing a big hand on his back and guiding him away from the workforce that were now making their way over to the patch adjacent. He turned him away from any prying eyes and addressed him with a permanent, knowing smile.

“C’mon, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. I know what’s going on here.” He said.

“Yeah, what’s that?” Daryl challenged, only slightly confident that he could hold his own with the conversation.

“You gotta just grab the bull by the nut sack.”

Daryl raised an eyebrow and leaned back slightly, perplexed by Abraham's choice of words and even more so by his grabbing gesture with one hand. It wasn’t far off from how his brother used to speak, only Abraham was quite clearly intelligent enough to use colorful metaphors without caring what anyone thought of it.

“What in the hell are you talkin’ ‘bout?” He questioned “Jess ain’t no bull”

“OK, forget that. Tell her you wanna get busy with her, see how she reacts” He suggested.

“I aint tellin’ her nothin’.” Daryl quickly replied with a step backwards as if he wanted to leave the topic, which he very much did by then.

“Then the only way you’re gonna get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait. It’s the apocalypse, Daryl. Sometimes you gotta just ask for what you want.” Abraham reasoned. After all, he’d asked Rosita and she’d been more than happy to oblige. He didn’t see anyone else as being much different and figured that if everyone was just straight with one another, things would be a lot easier.

“I ain’t doin’ that.” Daryl dismissed.

Abraham chuckled once more, slapping Daryl’s back with a huge paw and shaking his head in amusement.

“Ahh, hell. Balls just called. They wanted to know if you’d like a pair.” He joked.

“Look, it ain’t like that. I’m just…makin’ sure she’s okay.” Daryl confirmed, shrugging Abraham from his shoulder and backing up. He could see some of the other workers glancing up at them. Far from being a quiet man, Abe’s booming voice proved to be a lot louder than either of them first thought and Daryl was becoming highly uncomfortable.

“Whatever. Just think about it. She’s a peach, she’d be damn good for you.” Abraham suggested, puffing cigar smoke into a large cloud between them and tugging his gloves off. “I gotta go to guard duty. But I’ma get me some ass first.” He conveyed casually as he stepped down from the vegetable patch and headed across the street.

“Didn’t need to know that.” Daryl grumbled to himself.

Tower watch was usually done on a rotational basis and Jess, being a non-resident of Alexandria, was exempt from such duties. From time to time, she would surprise Deanna and volunteer her time, finding that walking the perimeter or sitting in the tower was a cure for her restlessness. Daryl was no different and as a recruiter, he was also omitted from the guard schedule but often found himself in the comforting, quiet confines of the wooden structure with a rifle, a pack of smokes and his jumbled thoughts when reading to Judith didn’t quite manage to calm his soul enough.

It was a cold night and a dense fog hung in the air like a blanket over the trees. Recent conversations floated around in his memories and he was sure his sides still tingled from time to time with the memory of Jess’s arms wrapped around him. He lit a cigarette and time passed between the spark of his lighter and when he smiled as he dwelled, yet again on the thought of Jess telling him he could hug her whenever he wanted. He wouldn’t, of course. It was far from how he conducted himself and any physical contact normally came with a lot of forethought and mental preparation.

His cigarette balanced precariously between his lips as he tilted his head back and took a drag without even touching it. He expelled the smoke from his nose, the cloudy appearance of the small tower room reminding him of his dream in which Merle had tried to urge him to do something about his feelings.

‘Times a-wastin’, Daryl. Get to it.’

He wished he could. Wished that everything really was that simple. Wished that he knew for sure that she felt something for him the way he did for her. But all he had was a notion, a few blushes and compliments that could be nothing more than a basic appreciation between two friends.

The door below clunked shut and Daryl could hear footsteps on the rungs of the ladder approaching. He threw his smoke away and looked over his shoulder to await the arrival of his visitor. It was past midnight and highly unusual for anyone else to be up in the tower except for the person on guard. Daryl never had company while he was on watch and that, to him, was one of the perks of the job.

When Jess appeared clutching a bag of cookies and pushing her hood back from her face, he figured that maybe tower watch had other perks too. Namely, that he could very well be about to spend time with a pretty girl, cooped up in a wooden box in the sky.

“Ya don’t gotta stay.” Was the first thing he said. He didn’t know why and realized as he said how strange it sounded. Almost like he wanted her to turn around and climb back down the ladder, which he didn’t.

Unimpressed, Jess squinted down at him and huffed out her obvious disapproval.

“Really?! ‘Can I visit you, Jess? You don’t have to be here, Jess’.” She quoted “Talk about mixed signals, stinky.”

Daryl, confused by his own actions, messily waved a hand at the empty chair beside him.

“Take a damn seat n’ quit complainin’.” He grumbled.

The two chairs in the tower were no more than a foot apart and Jess dragged hers even closer still and settled down in front of the window with the rifle resting on the wall on Daryl’s side. She opened the paper bag in her lap and handed him a cookie, telling him they were from Carol and she’s sent them because she knew he hadn’t eaten that day. It was evident that Carol was right when Daryl managed to put away three large cookies in a matter of seconds and Jess peered down at her first, half eaten baked treat as hers was made of lead.

Since the boat and Daryl’s admission of his dream about Merle, Jess wondered if he would ever provide her with more information pertaining to his death and the events that lead up to it. She was curious and more than that, she was concerned that his inability to move past it was presenting itself in his subconscious, when he dreamed. Having reached what she thought to be a pivotal point in their friendship, where they hugged and she awoke with him curled up against her, she guessed it was now that was the right time to ask.

“Can I ask you something? About your brother.” She said

Daryl threw the last of his third cookie into his mouth and chewed noisily before brushing the crumbs from his lap and side glancing at her. She could see the questioning behind his eyes already, the hesitation to discuss what was bound to be a sore subject.

“OK.” He grunted.

“What did he tell you about where I was?” She wanted to know. They’d touched on it before, briefly and on a need-to-know basis.

“He didn’t. S’a long story.” He mumbled, falling quiet and instilling a heavy guilt in Jess. For at least two minutes, he fiddled with the radio in his lap.

“I’m sorry” She eventually managed. “I shouldn’t have asked; I don’t want to drag up bad memories for you.”

“Nah, s’ok.” He said sincerely with a small glance in her direction. Hesitating, it dawned on him that he did want to tell her what happened and that, alone, was a breakthrough in itself. Daryl wasn’t a talker, he never discussed his innermost thoughts and feelings with anyone, but in the time that he’d known Jess, it was becoming easier and more desirable to do so. “I ain’t talked about to nobody before. But I’ll tell you. If ya wanna know”

Feeling as thought a compromise was needed so as not to drag him too far from his slowly expanding comfort zone, Jess decided to offer him a simpler suggestion.

“Give me the short version and maybe some other time you can tell me everything. Only if you want.” She proposed.

Seemingly content with meeting her halfway, Daryl slid further down in his seat and propped one leg up on the window ledge in front of them. As he spoke, he picked at the messy stitching around the repaired hole in the knee of his pants leg.

“After the crazy sommbitch cut his own hand off to escape that roof in the city n’ you saved his ass, he got mixed up with this psycho. Started workin’ for him. This guy, he wanted to kill us all, take the prison we were livin’ in.” Checking she was still with him, he peeped to his side at her, she was listening, now turned towards him and slowly chewing on another cookie. “Merle… he sacrificed himself in the end. Knew his time was up. Michonne was with him, he asked her to give me a message when she saw me. I went straight to find him, bring him back. But he was already turned.”

“I’m so sorry, Daryl. That must have been so hard.” She whispered sincerely “What was the message?”

Daryl looked out at the misty and still night beyond the tower. From where they were, the horrors below were obscured, masked by a serenity that was often taken for granted. But these moments were Daryl’s moments of peace and they were becoming more frequent because of the dark-haired girl beside him. She was becoming his haven away from the misery. He trusted her to ground him, to distract him and to remind him that not everything was lost.

“Said ya was holed up in an apartment opposite a bookstore in the city. That you was doin’ OK n’ that he didn’t tell me ‘cause ya asked him not to and he owed ya.” He explained, catching her small smile as she studied him when he spoke. “And…”

“…and?” she echoed.

He hadn’t meant to let the conjunction slip out. In fact, he’d intended to scrap it altogether, thus getting himself out of revealing everything else that Merle had said. But it was done and if he backtracked, he would be lying and that was one thing he never wanted to do to her.

“He uh-he didn’t know what he was talkin’ ‘bout. It don’t matter.” He tried to dismiss.

Jess’s interest was well and truly hooked by the last, little word on the end of his sentence and she was not about to let it slide without any inclination as to what he was referring to. She had some opinions about Merle of her own and so, concluded that the best way to get Daryl to continue talking, was to be honest herself.

“It does. It does matter. Your brother wasn’t as bad as everyone made out. I saw who he was. He was rude and sexist and racist and he stank of whiskey like, all the time but he was brave and he knew what it was to be loyal. I didn’t expect to, but I respected him and I know now that he respected me in the end, because he didn’t tell you where I was until he was sure he was going to die.”

He briefly looked round at her at her and she heard him sigh. She could tell he wasn’t comfortable with confessing whatever else Merle has said and decided that if her attempt turned up nothing, she didn’t want to push him to anger.

Daryl wasn’t sure if he could endure yet another conversation that left him feeling vulnerable and exposed, it seemed to be what they did now, spent time alone and toed the line together. Although, quite what line Jess was nearing, he only wished he knew. A part of him wanted to tell her the truth and in the back of his mind, he could hear his brother.

‘Don’t be no sissy.’

“He wanted me to know he thought you’d make a good Dixon” He told her.

“Really?” Jess asked in a tone that told him she was a little surprised. “Seeing as I have you as an example of the better half of the Dixon’s I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Don’t know ‘bout that.” He mused with a shy huff “… he um, he also said somethin’ else. But I don’t wanna make ya uncomfortable or nothin’.”

Jess’s eyebrows shot up and a look of captivation swept across her face, her lips curled into a grin as she searched her memories for any clues as to what he could possibly mean.

“You can’t say that and not tell me. C’mon, pleeeease?” She pleaded with a giggle and having to stop herself from gripping his arm and playfully shaking it.

She was too much. Too much to say no to. Her laugh and the sparkle in her eyes made it impossible. He was going to have to give in, he had no choice. His hands furiously picked at the threading on his pants and he was altogether very aware of it, forcing himself to sit still and summon the courage to tell Jess what she was waiting to hear as she leaned towards him across the arms of their chairs.

“Said that everybody knows that you’re my girl n’ I’d be a damn fool not to find ya n’…tell ya that.”

“Oh” Jess breathed quietly, setting back into her seat and blinking away the surprise. “I see.”

“Like I said, he didn’t know what he was talkin’ ‘bout.” Daryl added in the hope that it would do something to help filter the awkwardness from the air.

“That asshole wanted us to squirm with embarrassment even after his death. Very Merle.” Jess chuckled to herself. “Well, ‘your girl’, huh? I should be so lucky.” She mused, slowly turning her head to check his reaction. In the low light, she could just about make out the darkened top of his ear peeking through the gap in his hair. She’d made him blush.

“Are you…blushing?” She grinned.

“What? No.” Daryl huffed awkwardly.

Feeling triumphant and noting it down as more than one occasion that she’d successfully managed to turn those ears pink and witness the slight tint to his cheeks, Jess felt a surge of self-assuredness rush through her. Now, she had the control.

“I did I get the ever-stoic, badass that is Daryl Dixon to blush. Oh, that’s right…again?!” She giggled, nudging his elbow with her own and almost dying at the sight of him hiding a smile and flat refusing to let her have the glory.

“Stop. and ain’t nothin’ lucky ‘bout that.” He scoffed.

Jess tutted and rolled her eyes, releasing a very deliberate sigh and crossing her arms over her body, allowing the empty cookies wrapper to fall to the floor. She didn’t even bother to stop and analyze just how honest she should be, Daryl was going to hear what she really thought, and that was that.

“What are you talking about, you idiot?” She questioned “You’re a catch.”

Daryl side-eyed her, wishing he could find the words to ask her to elaborate, or drag more out of her about what she really thought of him. Hearing that she thought he had something to offer had almost knocked him for six and all coherent thought was suddenly dispelled in his mind like pins at the end of bowling lane.

“Huh. Yeah. Whatever.” He mumbled.

Jess was getting used to risk-taking around Daryl. Most of them had paid off and gifted her with something more than the minimal, closed-off person he presented to everyone else. She’d even managed to get herself some physical contact in the form of a hug and would not be forgetting being able to touch his arm or hold his hand in a hurry. With that in mind, she dived in again, risking placing her hand on his forearm and was pleased when he showed no interest in moving away.

Daryl slowly dragged his eyes down to where her hand rested, then he met her gaze briefly and rendered her completely speechless when he shifted his arm back, catching her fingers in his and threading them together.

“Thanks” He whispered to her.

“What for?”

“I dunno why…but you see somethin’ good in me.”

I wish I could be the man you deserve.

Jess slid further down in her chair, still clinging to his hand and rested her head delicately on his shoulder. If he could snuggle into her at night and fit close to her like the missing piece of her jigsaw, then she could snuggle right back. If she could have seen his face, she’d have discovered the pure astonishment on his features. His mouth dropped open and he feebly glanced about the room, unable to believe that what was happening was real. As she sat there with her hand in his and her cheek pressed against his shoulder, her eyes grew heavy and she noticed how comfortable she’d become.

“I only ever see good things in you” She sighed, closing her eyes and letting her weariness take over.

Daryl knew he didn’t need to respond when her head became heavy on his shoulder and her breathing slowed. He certainly hoped that his tower shifts were similar to this every time he volunteered and that he would see more occasions where he would be able to sit with her hand in his and her sleeping form against him and just…be.

Her eyes opened one first, then the other, weighed down by fatigue. It was dark all around her and her neck was stiff. She scrunched her face up, rubbing her fingers over her tired eyes and groaning. Daryl moved to the side and Jess, having completely forgotten where she was, jumped and scraped her chair along the floor while he watched her, tickled by her lack of awareness. She’d been asleep for around an hour, softly breathing against his arm and he’d struggled with the desire to lift his arm and position her underneath, against his chest and in a motionless embrace. But he’d stayed put and exulted in her being nearer to him than any other woman had managed in the past.

He reached out in an echo of when she’d woken beside him in his room and gently brushed at the corner of her mouth with his thumb.

“Droolin’ again.” He chuckled

When it all hit her, where she’d been sleeping, his mocking of her involuntary saliva escape and the delightfully entertained look on his face, she shoved at his arm and covered her bright red face by pulling her hood down to obscure her cheeks.

“Oh my god, don’t be a dick!” She complained

He laughed without reservation, a genuine, unashamed laugh that she had rarely heard without some kind of barrier or means of obscuring it.

“Like a bloodhound” He remarked with a quick flicker of his eyes to his damp shoulder.

“Shut up!” She gasped “Don’t be mean. I was comfortable.” She crossed her arms and pouted at him from beneath her hood. “Shouldn’t have such a comfy shoulder.”

“So, it’s my fault, now?” He asked.

“Yes” She confirmed with an unsure glance in his direction.

You held my hand. I wasn’t exactly going to move away.

“I’ll ask Judith if ya can borrow a pacifier next time” he smirked.

“Enjoy making fun of me while it lasts because I won’t be falling asleep on you anymore.” She muttered to herself while standing up and straightening her clothing, readying herself for the climb down the ladder to the street below. While it was all very light-hearted, she needed to leave the situation and try and erase the memory of Daryl seeing her drool like a baby as she slept.

“Shame.”

She thought she heard it but she couldn’t be certain. It was uttered almost as quietly as his breathing. It wasn’t clear, but it was definitely something. She wondered if her ears were playing tricks on her or her tired mind was making things up. She caught his eye and noted a hint of shyness in him as he nudged his head up at her in a wordless goodbye. Her stomach fluttered furiously because that’s what he did to her now. He gave her butterflies like a girl with a crush. Except it wasn’t just a crush and as the days passed, those butterflies were growing in size, just like her affection for him.

Jess was sitting on the Ferris Wheel upon returning to the fairground. Now out of use and locked in place, she was able to climb up to the top car and sway with the breeze while watching the stars and doodling the outline of her family crest on the front cover of her journal. It was rare she wrote in it anymore, she had Aaron and Eric who bore the brunt of much of her venting. But the heavy nature of the secret she carried with her was steering her back to journaling. Only, she hadn’t quite made it past the front cover yet.

“…And I'll use you as a focal point, so I don't lose sight of what I want…”

She sang quietly, absent-mindedly working her way through the song, grateful that her secluded location meant that she could sometimes sing as loud as she wanted to without fear of judgement. The only audience being the odd Walker, who she would quickly put down with a well-aimed arrow before it had time to cross the trap-ridden area in front of the fence.

“…and I've moved further than I thought I could, but I missed you more than I thought I would”

She tilted her head at the sketch of the crest, she wasn’t the most proficient of artists but was pleased with her efforts and made a mental note to attempt more drawing in the future. It was a break from carving arrows, training, stabbing Walkers and hunting that she needed. Something different to try.

A red streak in the sky caught her attention and she slowly moved the journal and pencil from her lap. She’d just missed it, but it looked like a flare. She waited, straining her ears to listen and squinting at the tower, which could just about be seen through the trees from where she was. The pop-popping of gunfire made her nervous and then, another flare went off in the sky above, closer and clearer this time.

“Oh shit, not again!” she cried before scrambling down the metal structure and racing to the fairgrounds gate.

The scene at Alexandria was more brutal and distressing than she could have ever imagined. With the gate wide open and blood smeared across the asphalt, screams could be heard coming from just about every corner of the town and as Jess crept in through the shadows with her machete equipped and her mask and hood up, her heart beat a solid rhythm in her chest. Her hands trembled but adrenaline was forcing her forwards, putting one foot in front of the other until she halted, whirling to one side and seeing a bloodied woman sprinting across the street towards her. The sound coming from her mouth was garbled yet utterly desperate and her blonde hair was smattered with red from a gaping head wound that reached from above her ear to her collar bone. Following closely behind her, was a burly man with a large knife and a bald head. His face was obscured by a bandana, much like Jess’s and as he barreled along, grasping for the woman’s arm, Jess stepped out from the blackness and ran.

Human bone is incredibly sturdy. It is stronger than steel and concrete of the same mass. The human skull encases the most important organ of the human body, the brain, and has evolved to be as strong as possible to withstand trauma. Strong enough, in fact, that a recently sharpened machete alone is unlikely to penetrate such strong, non-decaying bone with one hit, a fact that Jess was already aware of. Months of reading had paid off and in the slow-motion seconds of her swinging her blade at the bald cranium of the man pursuing the injured Alexandrian, she had the foresight to think of her secondary weapon; the knife that Daryl had given her. The clunk of the metal against his head was so sickening her stomach clenched and her jaw locked shut. The side of the man’s head exploded with blood from the baseball-like swing that collided the blade with the assailant. It peppered her mask and eyes with crimson dots and created a sprawling firework in the air. When she stepped back and watched him stumble, ignoring the loud and gruesome shing from metal scraping on bone as she retracted her machete, she slid her hunting knife from its sheath on her belt and drove it, with all her might into his ribs. He gripped her wrists, terror filling his panicked eyes when his knees hit the ground.

From behind her, Jess could hear the woman’s piercing screams and she quickly turned on her heels, flicking blood from the wound in the man’s side across the surface of the road. He glugged and wheezed and Jess paid him no mind while she focused on the severely hurt woman peering up at her from the floor, where Jess had flung her when she stepped to her aid. Grabbing her arm, Jess began dragging her up to the sidewalk, all the while trying to hush her inconsolable crying and whimpering. Finding a dark spot under a platform and against the perimeter wall, she propped the woman up, ripped her jacket from her shaking shoulders and set to tying it around her wounded head. She’d lost so much blood her entire right side was a deep red and it was pooling under her, dripping from her elbow. Jess snatched the woman’s hand up and placed it on the jacket.

“Hold it. Put pressure on it to stem the bleeding.” She whispered to her with a quick glance over her shoulders. Other people were dashing past, some holding weapons up and wearing similar clothing to the man Jess had attacked. Others, she recognized to be the occupants of Alexandria. Gunfire crackled around her and she could only hope that she was far enough from the road to avoid being shot intentionally or caught in the crossfire. “What the hell is going on?” She asked the woman. Then, it dawned on her. The party. She was from the party and was the unfortunate recipient of Jess’s unwanted cannibal information. Her eyes flickered in a dazed state and her skin was paling fast. Jess shook her shoulder gently. “Hey! Stay awake! What happened here?” She demanded

“The-they came out of….out of nowhere. Started…started…hacking p-people to death” She stammered breathlessly. Jess felt an insatiable fury rise in her entire body.

The group from the city. The group from the woods. The man that shot Daryl.

The woman’s hand slapped around Jess’s wrist, snapping her from her realization and she suddenly leaned forwards, inches from Jess’s face. Her eyes bulged and saliva and blood trickled down her lips.

“Leave-L-leave this place. Not…safe…for-for women. They…they t-take women. M-my children…m-my family…they’re gone…they r-ran.”

It was as plain as day but it didn’t make it any easier for Jess to accept that the gravely injured woman before her was dying from blood loss and likely wouldn’t last another few minutes, let alone long enough for Jess to head off and find her family for her. Swallowing hard, she looked into her tear-filled eyes, held onto her free hand and squeezed it, hard.

“Everything is going to be okay.” She whispered, ignoring the blurry despair that was brimming in her own eyes. “Everyone is going to be fine. Your children, they’re in the church” She lied “They’re there. They’re all there. I saw them go in when I got here. It’s okay…it’s-it’s okay.”

In a display of relief, the woman sighed before eyes began to flutter closed and Jess felt all hope abandon her when her body went limp, her hand went lax and her face froze. Tears erupted from Jess’s eyes and a loud sob forced its way up from the depths of her soul.

“Oh…Fuck” She gasped, sagging forwards and clutching the lifeless fingers of the dead woman to her chest. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t fast enough.” She sniffed to the chorus of chaos transpiring from behind her.

As was customary and necessary in the apocalypse, Damaging the spinal cord or the brain enough to avoid reanimation was the next step in a death that didn’t involve one or the other to begin with and now, Jess had to commit an act of mercy to stop the woman from becoming a Walker. She held up her knife and chose not to think too much, it was the way of the world now.

Keeping to the shadows was her forte and it had served her well during her time alone. Jess considered herself lucky that it was the middle of the night and therefore, she was able to move from house to house in search of anyone that may have needed rescuing. From the bedroom of an empty house, she spotted a man being cornered by two strangers with exceptionally large blades. Just out of sight under a tree, she couldn’t make out who the man was, but she didn’t need to know. She slid the window up, climbed out onto the roof and equipped her bow, nocking an arrow and steadying her erratic breathing.

The first arrow was aimed well enough to eliminate one of the men, but the second fell just short, scattering across the road surface and giving away her location. The remaining man’s vision shot up to her, locking her in his sights as he pointed and bellowed at the top of his lungs. Jess stumbled backwards, her back hitting the gables of the house in time to see Aaron run out from behind the tree, pick up the arrow and slam it into the side of the man’s neck. She held her breath for a second while she gawped at Aaron, who quickly began grappling with the arm of the man which held onto his blade.

“I-I have to get down there” She said to herself.

Spinning around, she clambered back through the window and thundered down the stairs, spilling out onto the street in time to see Aaron with the man in a head lock and dragging the knife across his throat. Blood fountained from the wound and Aaron quickly threw him to one side and ran to Jess, dragging her to the side of the house and flinging his arms around her while rambling incomprehensible words over her shoulder. His embrace was so tight that Jess struggled to breathe and had to physically step away to break the hug.

“That was…violent.” She commented.

“Yeah…I know” Aaron panted, blinking in disbelief at the gargling man behind him on the ground. “Are you okay? You can’t be here. I don’t know who these people are but they’re trying to round up the females and kill the men. A lot of people are already dead. You-you have to leave. Now. Rick’s group, they’re working their way around the town. You should go. Please, Jess. Go.” He blathered, grabbing her arm. Jess tore away from him.

“No.” She announced defiantly. “Where is Daryl?”

“Uh…He-he was in the tower at first. The last time I saw him, he was with Rick.” Aaron replied with a wipe of his forehead.

“Eric is safe?” Jess asked

“Yes. I can’t say where. In case they can hear us.”

“Carl? Judith? Enid?” She continued.

“All safe.”

“Lord.” Jess puffed in relief. “C’mon, we have work to do. Stay with me”

Before Aaron could protest, she flung him against the side of the house and was inching her way to the edge, unsheathing her knife again. She spat on the blade and dragged the flat edge across her thigh, revealing it’s reflective surface. It was a trick she’d learned in the city to enable her to check around corners for Walkers. It was also a tried and tested military technique to use small mirrors and reflections for such a task and she was sure that if her brother was watching over her from somewhere, he’d have been proud of her, not only for doing what she had to do, but for having the intelligence to educate herself before running into battle.

The glint of the knife provided her with a tiny, but accurate view down the street towards Aaron's house, where she could see two of the enemy group enter the house. She retreated and pressed her back against the house, next to Aaron.

“Your house.” She whispered “The door is open.”

Aaron's head thudded back against the surface behind him and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Shit” He hissed.

“Eric?” She asked.

“I told him to hide. He’s not a fighter.”

“Did you close the door when you left?”

“Yes”

“Then the chances are, he’s already gone. I’ll check the house.” She decided, moving back towards the corner of the house and gripping her machete.

“I’ll go with you.” Aaron told her quietly. She spun around, pushing him back, in no uncertain terms telling him that he would be doing no such thing.

“I got this. I want you to go and find Daryl for me” She expressed with her hand on his chest.

“I’m not leaving you” He argued.

“Yes, you are.” She gripped the front of his clothing in her fist and shoved him against the house with a thud. “Listen to me” She growled. “I’ll be damned if I lose the man I love again. So, you are going to find him for me. We both know I’m not a perfect fighter but I’m better than you and I can do this. What I can’t do, is live without Daryl in my life. So, go and fucking find him, Aaron or so help me god I will tear down every single one of those licence plates you’ve collected and lovingly attached the wall in the hallway and toss them on a fire while I dance around it singing Kum ba yah!”

Aaron blinked at her in shock but did not for one second take her for a fool. He knew that she was not only deadly serious, but that she was right; She wasn’t as proficient against humans as she needed to be, but he wasn’t as capable a fighter as her. Conceding, much to his worry and trepidation, he gripped her arm.

“Alright, you get my man and I’ll get yours.” He stated.

Jess nodded and went to turn back to the corner, before pausing and looking slightly confused.

“Wait…then we’re swapping back, right?” She asked, a slight smile tugging at her lips. Aaron sniggered and pat her shoulder before dashing off in the other direction, taking the route around the back of the houses in order to stay out of sight.

All around her, gunfire still rang out but the screams were dying down. Bodies littered the street and it wouldn’t be long before they reanimated. They needed to push the invading group back and do a sweep of the bodies with their brains still intact. But first, they needed to kill as many of the violent and ruthless men as possible.

Aaron and Eric’s place appeared to be empty when Jess gradually inched in through the already open front door. Inside was dim, the only light pouring through the windows from a floodlight on the main gate. She checked the shapes in the dark, ticking them off in her mind, each one recognized as a piece of furniture or a blanket or cushion. The house was eerily still and compared to the commotion going on outside, it unsettled Jess’s nerves and caused her to clutch the handle of her blade even tighter than usual. She could hear her heart pounding in her head and she suppressed a shiver as she reached the kitchen. So far, so good.

The hands seemed to come out of nowhere, morphed from the blackness like creatures of the night, grabbing and manipulating her limbs. Gruff laughter and putrid breath licked at her neck and the side of her face as she was jostled across the room. Her blade was ripped from her hand and all that remained at her disposal was her knife, obscured by her sleeve and held out of sight by her fingers curled up to her wrist.

The room flashed before her when she was twisted around and slammed onto the kitchen counter, her head bouncing from the hard surface. For a few seconds, everything blurred and her hearing dropped out before coming back and presenting her with the sinister laughter of the shadows around her. The air left her body, her lungs strained and her stomach contracted. Her throat gasped. Black figures hovered above her, grappling at her clothing to a tune of gruff and sneering laughter. Jess felt a sharp sensation at her throat, long and lethal. She dropped the knife from her sleeve into her hand and hit out with the sharp end of an uppercut, topped by the hunting knife but coming into contact with nothing but air. A mocking voice commented that she was bound to be a lot of fun before they killed her and that they couldn’t let ‘the boss’ know about this one. She could sense that there were two men holding her down, taking her only weapon and pinning her arms to the table. She thrashed and bucked and tried to scream but was soon hushed by the rancid breath of one of the men, leaning close to her face and telling her that if she made a sound, they would gut her like a fish. Her legs were forced apart and she could hear a belt buckle being undone.

No! She thought No, No, No! Please, No!

The back of her head felt wet and began to bleed from the blunt force trauma. Her inner thighs thrummed with agony as one of the men held onto her flesh so tightly, she thought he might tear her skin from her bones. Dread twisted in her gut and she thought she might throw up when the pressure on her thighs released and the sharpness against her neck vanished. Her sheer horror was making everything a little difficult to make out and she rolled onto her side, coughing and reaching up to her head, wincing at the pain.

Daryl hardly ever missed a shot and was glad of his proficiency with a crossbow when he managed to kill one of the men holding jess down with one shot, straight through his temple. The other one looked up in shock as Daryl tossed the bow onto the kitchen counter and ran at him, bulldozing him from the table and landing on top of him. He ripped the weapon from his hand, which he quickly noticed to be Jess’s own Machete and began hacking at him, over and over, growling loudly and driving the weapon down and flinging it up again, all the while fueled by the image of seeing her restrained and about to be hurt in one of the worst possible ways. He didn’t stop, pummeling the brain matter into the flooring, each blow representing only a small fragment of his pure rage.

Jess climbed down from the table and dragged herself into the safety of the corner, pressing her back to a cupboard and hugging her knees as she watched Daryl hack the man into tiny pieces in the light from the window. The metallic odor of murder filled the air and she flinched with every brutal chopping sound until eventually, he stopped and sat back on his knees, panting wildly and tilting his head back to the ceiling.

It felt like hours but it was mere seconds before Daryl got to his feet and turned to face her. She knew it was him, knew he would never hurt her but in that moment, he looked utterly chilling. He charged out of the kitchen, to the living room where he checked from the window on the state of the town. People were re-grouping in the street. Rick, Glenn. Carol, Maggie and Michonne were all in the middle of the road and all in one piece. On his way back to Jess, he slammed the front door closed and adopted a calmer and slower demeanor with her. He pulled a flashlight from his pocket, clicked it on and placed it on the counter, shining the beam to the ceiling so it wasn’t too harsh but he needed to see her face. Like a frightened animal, she peered up at him with blood running down the side of her head. His chest tightened in sorrow at the state of her and he pushed away the urge to lunge at her and wrap her in his arms, knowing it would scare her even more. Slowly, he leaned down to her and offered her his hand. He said nothing, hoping that she could see in his eyes that his number one priority was her and her safety. But she just crawled further into the corner.

“Jess, it’s alright.” He soothed, lowering himself to his knees “Ya safe. I got ya.”

She stared down at his blood-soaked hand and felt something rising inside her. It was distress. It released from her chest in a loud exhalation and tears started to soak down her cheeks. She gingerly reached out and touched his hand, he bit down on his lip at the sensation of her shaking violently. She wrapped her fingers around his and gradually, he felt her hold on tighter and tighter until he was pulling her onto his lap and enveloping her in his arms. He listened to her gentle sobs and with each sniff, another piece of him fell away. He hated her being hurt and wished he could take it all away.

“You good?” He asked, tenderly stroking the uninjured side of her head. She nodded and began to shift from his lap, staggering to her feet and holding onto the countertop. He got up, grabbed his crossbow and dragged his hand across his eyes, clearing some of the blood from his vision and lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face.

“Uh… I…” Jess tried to say. She pushed her fingers into her hair, feeling a lump forming at the back and a gash at the side. It was wet and sticky with blood. When she started to run thought exactly what had happened in her mind, Daryl could only watch her helplessly as she paced about, her eyes scanning the wooden floor under her boots. She quickly refastened the button on her camo pants and smoothed her hands over her painful thighs. “…Um. I think- I…” she stops and stared at him with tears still forming in her eyes. “…I think I almost got...They were going to…”

Daryl was totally perplexed when she burst into fits of laughter. Squeezing her eyes shut and entering into hysterics, using the countertop for stability. Baffled by her behavior but glad she seemed to have let go of her fear, eventually, he started to smile along with her but was still deeply concerned.

“They almost fucking killed me!” She cried “They almost raped and killed me. I can’t believe it! Holy crap!”

The more she looked at him and his confused expression, the more her laughter waned until finally, she stood in front of him breathing heavily and glaring at him with a strange kind of intensity that Daryl could not place.

“You saved my life. Again.” She uttered.

She closed the gap between them, crossing the wooden flooring as if she was on a mission. She stopped inches from him, placed both of her hands on either side of his face, and kissed him. Without warning. Without permission. Without even deciding to do it or ruminating the consequences. He’d held her life in his hands and he still did and she needed it. She needed him simply because her whole being was so thankful, so unashamedly appreciative of his very existence that she couldn’t have done anything else. When her lips met his, she was alive again.

Daryl was hopelessly unprepared and caught off guard and he was certain that every single muscle he possessed locked into a tight knot. He stood there, immobile and wondered how, for so many months, he’d spent time admiring her and studying every part of her face and lips and yet still, did not see this coming. His mind was screaming at him to react in a mixture of his own voice and that of his brothers.

This is what you’ve wanted for so long. Kiss her back.

She tore away from him, stumbling back and covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes were wide with panic and he could see her fingers quivering in front of her lips. His own were parted and tingling from the soft sensation of her kiss, now lingering like a reminder of his own inaction. He peered cluelessly at her through his wet, bloody hair.

“Shit” she breathed “Oh shit.”

She whirled around, running for the door like it was an Olympic sprint and was gone from the house before Daryl could even blink. He released a strained breath and leaned back against the kitchen table, gripping the edge either side of him with knuckles turning white. His head lowered and he closed his eyes.

I guess this is where everything changes.

Had she stayed in Alexandria that night, she would have discovered that the group responsible for multiple murders in the town was indeed the same one from the city and the woods and it was apparent that their spotters had followed Rick's group back from a recent search. Biding their time, they’d waited until the gate guard was distracted and taken their chance, filtering into the community in the darkened corners of the streets and taking out the guards as quietly as possible.

Deanna was notified with enough time to usher the vulnerable into her attic and wait for what she hoped would not be the downfall of her dream.

But Jess fled from Aaron’s house like a bat out of hell, darting across the street and past the exhausted and re-grouping crowd, which contained Aaron and Eric, who exchanged a worried glance after seeing Daryl race in through their open front door in search of Jess. Eric started forwards with the intention of following her, but was stopped by Aaron taking his hand and slowly shaking his head.

Whatever happened, she needs to be alone.

Daryl emerged sometime after Jess with his crossbow on his back and holding onto her machete and knife. He trudged towards the waiting stares of Rick’s group, who were all in various states, but none of which were as stained red by blood as him. Carol ran out from the middle, skidding to a stop in front of him and gasping at the state of him. Asking if it was his blood, he solemnly shook his head, looked up at Aaron and Eric and told them not to go into the house until he’d been able to remove the bodies.

Jess used water from her tank at the large sink in the diner’s kitchen. She stripped down to her bare skin and scrubbed until she was red raw, shivering and trying to wash off the dirt and the blood and the terror and the sadness. Her mind kept flicking back to being held down to the table and her thighs ached from the hand-shaped bruises forming.

Her own morality wasn’t something she dwelled on too much anymore. In her reasoning, she was a survivor, until she wasn’t anymore and that was no less certain even before the world died. But Daryl saving her life had shoved her, staring into the void of her own demise, forcing her to acknowledge that had he not been there in time, ultimately, it was the end for her. Being taken away and used or being killed there and then, it hadn’t mattered to her because there simply was no difference, both meant it was over and it was a thought that stabbed pure fear into every inch of her being.

Jess had come to the conclusion since the turn that everyone had a monster inside them in some way or another. That most people's monsters lay dormant, in a constant state of disuse because they were brought up a certain way, because they’re not wired that way or because they’ve been conditioned, in some way shape or form, to control them. Others, dance with their monsters and feed them and nourish them on their path to immorality, prison or hell. But those that become nothing but monsters at the end of the world were a new type of depravity to Jess. Those that chose to take that path, instead of surviving in the best way possible and retaining their humanity.

The violence she’d witnessed from Daryl had been like watching a horror movie on a screen, only the noise was real and she could smell the blood and the chopped up, mutilated remains would undoubtedly be an image that she would never forget. But she understood that the difference between Daryl and the men that charged Alexandria for a murder spree, was their monsters and now she’d seen with her own eyes just how vicious Daryl’s was. But he’d made a choice to be on the right path, using death only to protect and prevent, contrary to the men he’d killed.

Wandering out to the wooden seats that still remained at the front of the diner from its days of use. She drew a thick blanket around her shoulders, covering her Star Wars hoodie and sweatpants. She quietly slid onto the seat and brought her legs up, crossing them underneath and studied the long grass between the rides as it swayed in the wind. The ringing of the bell on the gate tinkled through the metal structures and she leaned to one side, squinting and spotting Daryl with his body pressed against the gate and his fingers laced through the fencing.

Wearily and with a certain degree of frustration, she hauled herself up from the bench and padded to the gate, stopping in front of it and not even bothering to tell him that she wasn’t about to let him in.

Don’t mention the kiss. Please, Daryl.

Daryl got the message as soon as he saw her face. His clothing was still crimson in color but his skin had been cleaned enough to make him look human again. His hair was matted and his face was tired, his filthy fingers clung to the metal fencing.

Jess approached the gate and stopped two feet away, not bothering to tell him that she was not going to let him in. But Daryl could tell he wasn’t going to be allowed any further. It was written all over her face and she was paler than he’d ever seen before.

“Needed to know you’re OK” He said quietly, his voice croaky from the sheer ferocious nature of chopping a man into multiple pieces and expelling his rage through his throat.

“I’m not OK. I just need to be left alone.” She said honestly.

“What can I do?” he asked, ignoring the latter part of her sentence and focusing on the fact that she was not, in fact, okay.

I’m not going to mention the kiss. Now ain’t the time.

“Nothing.” She whispered, running a hand through her hair and clutching the blanket at her waist.

“Ya head alright? Ya took a beatin” He observed after noticing the cut to her right temple had been cleaned up and was luckily, smaller than he’d expected.

“Sore.” She shrugged. Concussion was a very real possibility and Jess was aware of that. Her head stung and ached with pain when she’d attempted to get some sleep and so she decided that she would think her night away while sitting on the bench outside.

“You okay other than that?” He continued

Usually always delighted to be in his company, when she looked at him, she experienced a bizarre mix of emotions, among which was humiliation, but also gratitude. She needed him to leave but didn’t possess the mental energy to find the most polite way to ask.

“Daryl-”

“-Don’t you dare argue with me right now, Jess.” He interrupted firmly. The gate rattled on its hinges when his boot hit the bottom of the frame, adding an element of irritation to his warning. “I said, are ya okay, other than that?”

“Some bad bruising on my thighs. That’s it.” She sighed, noting him shift and move closer to the gate, levelling his gaze with her.

“No, uh, I meant…” he pauses “they were gonna-”

“-I know.” She cut in “I know what they were going to do. I’m ok. Really.”

She didn’t need to file through the details, didn’t need to talk about how frightened she was or how her skin felt like it had been marred even though it didn’t get that far, she also didn’t want to talk about how she’d witnessed the man she loved bludgeon someone else to a pulp. What she needed was sleep and to start moving on.

“What you saw…” he croaked “…what ya saw me do…I’d never hurt you. Don’t be scared of me, Jess. Please.”

A lump formed in her throat at the thought of him believing her to be scared of him. He was the person she trusted more than anyone else in the world and he was responsible for her still being alive and able to step forward and entwine her fingers with his through the fence.

“Remember when I told you I’d kill anyone that tried to hurt you?” She asked. Daryl only nodded at the memory. “You did the same for me tonight. I’ll never be afraid of you.” She sniffed “I adore you.”

He unlaced his hands from the fence, pushing them back through once more, over hers and held them there tightly.

“I couldn’t stop. I just…couldn’t stop. Everything went black n’ there was just me n’ him and I thought of you and what he could’a…” He explained. “…I’m here. If ya need to talk. I’m here.”

“I’m okay, Daryl. It didn’t happen. You stopped it.” She assured him

He tried to step back but he couldn’t bring himself to let go of her hands, his feet moved but he was soon against the fence again, pleading with her to just let him in, into the fairground and into her thoughts. But she was more independent than he remembered and she needed to start to process it on her own. His eyes never left her, even when a long and intense silence lasted for almost a minute and his hands only gripped hers more.

“I’m the one you tell.” He rasped. “Me.”

She rested her head against his with the fence dividing them like a physical representation of the barrier that had been cemented between them from the beginning.

“Always” She agreed.

--- Tagged as requested ---

@lilred254 @woundmetender

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#daryl #daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around - Chapter 22

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 26/?

Smoke filtered out through the open window, plumes of grey rising up to the sky from the illuminated bud at the end of Daryl’s cigarette. His morning cigarette was probably the one he looked forward to the most. He took up his usual spot on the window ledge with a coffee in one hand and his smoke in the other and watched the sun peep over the horizon. The streets were always empty save for the guards and it was one of the things he was grateful for at Alexandria, one of the small home comforts he had gone without for so long. It was now part of his morning routine once more. Rise early, shower, grab a coffee and smoke by the light of the sun rising before setting off on the hunt.

He would usually always see Jess around the same time, sitting on the same fallen tree trunk and checking her bow and bracers. It became more than a coincidence after the third time he’d ran into her there that the both of them somehow just accepted that it was now a rendezvous spot and the place they’d use each morning to greet one another and throw the odd competitive comment around. Daryl was aware he was the better hunter, but he had been hunting since he was old enough to hold a crossbow without dropping it. Jess only had a years’ experience but was holding her own, rarely returning to Alexandria empty handed. Whoever turned up the most fruits of their labor, he enjoyed their trash talk regardless.

On this particular morning, she was nowhere to be seen and he compelled himself to pay no heed to the fact that she was absent. She had fast become the highlight of his days and was the first thing he looked for when he embarked on yet another twenty-four hours of uncertainty. The air was crisp and he could see his breath form small, white clouds as he moved out into the woods and began to look for animal tracks, a task which usually commanded his complete attention but this time, only garnered a small percentage of it. His mind wandered and soon, he found himself wandering without a purpose through the trees and paying little attention to anything but putting down the odd Walker and his lack of self-restraint when it came to entertaining the memory of the captivating curves that Jess possessed.

It was uncommon for Daryl to think of such things, to see the women he encountered as anything more than acquaintances, friends or just other human beings. He never understood why Merle objectified them so much, it never seemed to get him much further than a slap in the face or a punch from an unhappy husband in a bar. There was a time, during high-school that he ruminated upon something being wrong with him due to his lack of interest in the opposite sex. He knew he wasn’t gay, but felt very little pull towards girls either. One female in particular did pique his interest and while he felt a connection to the strange personality of the girl that ate lunch with him and drank hard liquor with him in the park, he wasn’t sure if he could call what he felt an attraction at all. He thought her to be pretty, nicer to look at than all the others, but it was more of a comfort, to have someone else around other than Merle that wasn’t going to cause him harm and that genuinely liked his company. But it was short lived and he quickly found out that he wasn’t up to the task of conveying how he felt, resulting in his only potential mate giving him the cold shoulder and acting as if he didn’t exist. However, it wasn’t an issue he spent much time deliberating over, he had other things to worry about, like the abuse he would have to go home to or the drugs he carried in his bag to save Merle from getting arrested for dealing.

It wasn’t until he was in his late teens that a physical attraction to women finally presented itself. But Daryl wasn’t like other young men his age, not under the tough, troubled and violent façade he presented. Deep down, he was shy, sensitive and broken by years of beatings, run-ins with the cops and his brothers shadow looming over him as the only role model in his life. No, Daryl was certainly not gay, but he did find himself gravitating towards quieter girls with intelligence rather than the overdone, brash women that his brother spoke so highly of.

“Skirt like that, it’ll do anything ya ask if ya get it drunk enough, little brother” Mere would say.

Daryl laughed along in encouragement, cheered with the rest of them in dive bars when Merle managed to bag himself someone that looked halfway between a stripper and someone’s grandma, he even hit on women in his brother’s presence to save face which was the only extent of his flirting expertise. But underneath it all, he simply didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.

Fear wasn’t something he was familiar with either, not since he was a child and had to endure the horrors of a poor, substance addicted, violent family living in the Georgian mountains. He’d honed his fear, turned it around and used it to mold himself into a survivor, and as a result was always one of the first to run into a fight or dangerous situation. It wasn’t that he never felt fear, it festered in his mind and trembled in his hands just like everyone else, he had just learned to acknowledge it and soldier on anyway. But there are different types of fear and what lay heavy on his heart as he trundled through the woods and slumped to the ground against a tree was a kind of fear that he’d never felt before. It had bounded out of nowhere like a wolf in the night and struck him so powerfully that he could barely apply himself to much else, other than thinking of her. It angered him, it was not who he was and such a distraction made him feel weak and vulnerable.

But her effect on him was now wildly out of his control. She terrified him with what she made him feel. He had no names for it, no way of explaining it and all he could do was to persevere in the hope that one day, he would figure it all out. But when she looked at him and made him crazy, when she giggled in response to his flirting, when she wore tight clothes and when she teased him about near enough anything, she was striking fear into him at the same time because for the first time in his life, he felt something so strong for someone of the opposite sex and didn’t have a clue what to do with it.

That afternoon, Daryl leaned with his back against the wall by the gate and waited for Jess’s arrival. He couldn’t deny that he’d been looking forward to this day since she invited him on front porch of Aaron and Eric’s house with her faintly suggestive invite that he hadn’t been expecting in the slightest.

Aaron wandered past with a box of canned goods from the pantry and nudged his head up in acknowledgement. Daryl pushed away from the wall and approached him, with one hand fiddling, absentmindedly with the foil from the empty packet of cigarettes he’d just disposed of.

“Hey, no recruitin’ run today?” He asked Aaron.

“Ah, nope. Rick Still hasn’t found any traces of that group you and Jess saw. Recruiting is on hold until we know we’re not going to be bringing back public enemy number one.” Aaron explained.

Daryl grunted and nodded, smoothing the foil between his fingers into a ball and flicking it across the street.

“How’s the leg? You don’t seem to be limping much anymore.”

“S’good. Thanks to Jess hassling me all the damn time.” Daryl remarked with a squint from beneath his hair.

“Ahh, she’s a good one.” Aaron responded “It’s nice to see you two so close these days.”

Without having any control over his defenses, they shot up and Daryl immediately became suspicious.

“What does that mean? We’re friends.” He stated.

“Oh, I know. I just noticed that you get along well. You make a good team.” Aaron offered casually in the hope that it might suppress Daryl’s obvious irritation. His comments seemed to work and Daryl shifted his weight to his stronger leg, glancing back and forth from Aaron’s smiling face to the area around them, looking for any prying eyes or listening ears.

“She uh…she tell ya about this boat she lived on?” He inquired nervously. Far from wanting to seem too interested in anything to do with Jess for fear of someone figuring out what was happening in his head, he was curious as to why she would invite him to such a place, and figured that Aaron may be his best shot at some information.

“Oh, yeah. She lived there for a few months. Said it was the best place she’s ever lived. She was self-sufficient, safe, sounded to me like she was quite content there before the big freeze hit and the lake froze over. I think it’s her happy place.”

Aaron’s answer only turned up more questions for Daryl, who was now closely watching Aaron’s expression.

“Any idea why she’d wanna take me there?” He risked.

Aaron’s eyebrows shot up and he tried to disguise a wide smile. He knew exactly why Jess would invite him there, he just couldn’t disclose it. The boat was indeed, Jess’s happy place. She got to live in the lap of luxury in complete safety, surrounded by fish to eat and sun to bask in. It was the only place she’d lived that didn’t feel like it was in the middle of the end of days. For her to invite Daryl there, meant she wanted to share her happy place with him, because she loved him.

Aaron knew he had to proceed with caution, saying the wrong thing could land Jess in a whole world of humiliation and he was pretty sure she would chop his head off with her machete.

“She’s never taken me or Eric there. Just…consider yourself honored.” Was all he said with a small wink. “Anyway, I should get this box home, we’re making cookies for the Monday meeting. Eric roped me into it. I’ll see you later.”

Daryl stayed in the same stance as Aaron moved off, confused and questioning the reasons why he would provide such a shady and vague answer and also wondering who else may have noticed how close he and Jess had become. Then, he realized just how long it had been since he’d arrived at the gate. Jess was late.

“Hey, wait a minute” He called out. Aaron paused with his box clutched to his chest. “Ya seen her today? She’s ‘sposed to be meetin’ me here.”

“Yeah, she’s in the armory.” Aaron chirped with a nod before resuming his journey back to his home.

Daryl was confused. It was unheard of for Jess to be late and he couldn’t figure out why she would be in the armory when she’d told him to be at the gate at the same time. He set off in the direction of the underground, firearm’s storage room with his pace quickened as he approached the building. Taking the steps two at a time, he halted halfway down and felt fury explode in his chest.

Inside the armory, Jess was sitting on the desk with her leg propped up on the arm of the chair below her. In that chair, sat Abraham who was carefully showing her the components of his assault rifle. She appeared completely fascinated and totally unaware of Daryl’s presence when he materialized in the doorway with a scowl on his face and his skin crawling with jealousy.

“See, honey. Ain’t nothin’ like a man with a great, big gun.” Abraham beamed at her.

She leaned back and laughed loudly, covering her mouth with one hand and slapping his arm with the other. Decked out in her usual, dark armored clothing, she was a world apart from the breezy, shorts and vest clad woman he’d sat with on the decking that night. But her smile was still the same, and he still loved the sound of her laugh, even if it was for someone other than him.

Jess raised her vision when she noticed the figure standing in the doorway and dropped her leg from the arm of Abraham’s chair. The big, ginger man swung the seat around to follow her sight-line and raised a hand, coupled with a wide smile.

“Hey, Daryl! Come to join firearms 101?” He cheered.

Jess’s face quickly dropped when she registered the anger written all over Daryl’s body language. His arm was positioned across his body, holding onto the strap of his crossbow over his shoulder and creating a barrier. His head was low, he glared at her through the gaps in his hair and he stood unwaveringly still.

Then, she remembered.

“Oh my god!” She gasped with wide eyes, throwing her hands up to her face and covering her mouth. “Was that today?! I forgot! I’m so sorry, Daryl!”

“Huh. Figures.” He spat. He wasn’t sure what he was even going to follow it up with, all he was sure of was that he was getting sick of seeing how happy she seemed to be around Abraham. So happy in fact, that she’d forgotten about the trip they’d planned. The trip he’d been looking forward to. The trip he was starting to think of as a pinnacle in the evolution of their friendship. It wasn’t that he had plans to confess his feelings or anything of the sort, but it was a chance for them to be together, alone and away from everyone else in an environment where she felt comfortable and at ease and who knew what possibilities that may have held.

“Daryl, just give me twenty minutes and I’ll-” She started

“-Naw, It’s fine. Really. I wasn’t waitin’ on ya like a fuckin' idiot or nothin’.” He bit at her.

“I’m sorry, please-” She begged, jumping down from the table and reaching out to him. He pulled away, his eyes flicking from her to Abraham, who was watching the drama unfold while gently stroking at his mustache.

“-Y’know what?” Daryl growled at Jess “I aint interested.”

With that, he vanished through the door and was up on the street, thundering towards the gate before Jess could even exhale and begin to figure out how to make things right.

Channeling Carl, Jess spent most of that evening sitting on the bench by the pond and ruminating over what had happened in the armory. She hadn’t expected such a fierce reaction from Daryl and she could only figure that he’d been looking forward to getting out and doing something other than hunting. Since Rick’s small group had been scouring the area for the group the man that shot Daryl was from, all runs and recruiting had been put on hold unless there was a desperate need, which there wasn’t. Hunting was still allowed and that was the only saving grace for Daryl, who was getting serious cabin fever and as a result, Jess could see it affecting his mood. He’d been angry at her before, but this time had been different. His eyes held something other than rage and it was still staring her in the face in her memories. He was disappointed as well.

She removed her jacket from the bench next to her when Rick strolled over and sat down. At first, he said nothing ad Jess noted the dark circles under his eyes and the weariness with which he held his body. He was exhausted.

“Evening, Sheriff.” She hummed. “Any luck?”

A deep sigh was detected from the noble leader of the group, the man that was fast becoming a secondary and well-respected leader of the entire town along with Deanna.

“It’s like they’re everywhere, but nowhere. All at once.” He replied.

“They have spotters.” She mused “The guy that shot Daryl. That’s what he was.”

“Yes, he was. You’re right. They’ve been out there long enough to know how to cover their tracks” He said with a nonchalant raise of his hands while he leaned forwards on his knees.

“Keep going.” She urged. “You’ll find them. I know you will.”

Rick murmured a small thanks and relaxed back on the bench, he threw one leg over the other and picked at the seam of his jeans at his knee. The sun had gone down and the only light illuminating the pond other than the moon was the orangey glow through the windows of the nearest house. Jess looked down at the jacket on her lap, it was new. Or, as new as new could get at the end of the world. She’d picked it up in the same abandoned house where Daryl had told her about the girl that liked him in high-school. She’d noticed it hanging on a coat rack as soon as she arrived and shoved it into her bag straight away. It was black leather, fitted and with a fabric hood attached to the neckline. She remembered the comment that Daryl had expressed when he first saw it. Apparently, she was stealing his style.

“Carol said he’s not spoken to anybody all day.” Rick stated. He didn’t need to give her any context, confident that she would know exactly who and what he was talking about. After all, it was the only reason she was still in Alexandria, sitting by the pond and not at home at the Fairground.

“Oh god.” She whispered.

“What happened?” he wanted to know.

“I arranged to meet him today at the gate. I have this boat. I used to live on it. I wanted to take him there. Y’know, get him outside the walls for something other than hunting? And…before you say anything, it’s way out of the search zone. So, I wouldn’t have been breaking your rule or interfering with the search in any way.” She paused to take a deep breath, seeing shrug a shoulder and shake his head as if to convey that he knew she wouldn’t have done anything to hamper his search anyway “I got the day wrong. I forgot. I was with Abraham in the armory.”

Rick took a moment to let her explanation sink in before he reacted, but he didn’t have much at all to say, already knowing that Daryl would have made it quite clear what he made of the matter.

“Oh.”

“Oh? You say that like it’s the worst thing in the world!” Jess cried.

“You should try and talk to him. It’s been a few hours; he might have simmered down.” Rick suggested.

“Depends how many walls he punched and how many cigarettes he smoked.” Jess remarked as she slid her arms through the sleeves of her jacket and wriggled it on.

“He’s done a whole pack according to Carol. Although the walls in our house are still untouched” He informed her with a small smile. Jess stood up and gathered herself, hoping by the time she reached the Grime’s house that Daryl would have calmed down.

“Right. OK. I’ll try. Thanks, Rick.” She sighed. He reached up and pat her arm as she passed.

The porch light was on but the usual occupants of the front porch reading session were nowhere in sight. Even Carl and Judith were nowhere to be seen, which only made things worse for Jess. She’d imagined Daryl keeping his temper under wraps in front of spectators, especially children, but without their presence he was free to yell at her as much as he wanted. She regretted refraining from seeking him out earlier, but her gut told her it was best to let him be, she only hoped that it didn’t look to him like she didn’t care. Because she did. In fact, her whole day had been taken over by sitting around and trying to find ways to make it up to him.

Her knock on the door seemed to be louder than she’d ever heard. Maybe it was her heightened awareness of everything or her nerves, but she glanced over her shoulder, thinking she’d alerted the attention of the entire street. She stepped back and waited. Slowly looking up when the door clicked open and Carol stepped into view. She wore a floral blouse, much the same as she usually did. But it did little to soften the hard look on her face and all of a sudden, Jess was painfully aware that she was not Daryl’s only friend.

“Evening Carol.” She squeaked, stopping briefly to clear her throat. “Is Daryl here?”

Carol tilted her head back and pursed her lips, looking down her nose at a very sheepish Jess.

This woman is like the gatekeeper. She thought

“You were with Abraham, weren’t you?” She asked.

Jess furrowed her brow and thought over the relevance of Abraham being in the equation.

“Yeah, how did you…? Why?” She questioned back.

Carol steeped further out of the doorway and turned, peering through the gap to ensure no one was listening. She pulled the door almost to a close and faced Jess again. When she spoke, her voice was only slightly above a whisper.

“He’s not mad that you forgot. He’s mad that you forgot because you were with Abraham.” She explained.

Jess was still confused but bit by bit, the pieces started to add up. The reason he’d asked if she had friends here, the reference to her drinking with Abe, the way he averted his gaze or huffed to himself every time a suggestive comment was directed at her. She pondered that maybe just didn’t like Abraham but remembered that they were on the road together for a long time and when they were on runs, they worked well together. Could it be some other reason? Could it be that Daryl was Jealous of her friendship with Abraham? She tried to remember a time aside from forgetting to meet him at the gate when she’d treated Abraham any different to Daryl and could only conclude that she actually felt, and acted, closer to Daryl.

“He tell you that?” She questioned Carol.

“He doesn’t need to.” It was a stony and arrogant response that told Jess; I know him better than you and I can tell why you’ve angered him. But Jess could be just as difficult if she wanted to be and she wasn’t about to be patronized again.

“I don’t need another telling off from you.” She snarled “Please… is he here? I just want to apologize to him and then I’ll go.”

Carol deliberated for a few moments, detecting the sincerity and genuine sadness in Jess’s demeanor and rolled her eyes, pushing the door open behind her.

“I’ll go get him.”

By the time Daryl appeared on the front porch, Jess was nearly convinced he wasn’t going to show up at all and was readying herself to get up from where she was sitting at the table and make tracks back to the fairground. She breathed a sigh of relief when he crossed the decking and took up a seat opposite her, lighting a cigarette and reclining in the chair. It was difficult for Jess not to notice the arm that propped up on the table, toned and highly aesthetically pleasing. She wished he’d worn his jacket, meaning she wouldn’t have to adopt a constant awareness of what she was staring at.

For the most part, he seemed calm enough, but he had refused to look at her since he’d taken a seat. Jess didn’t really know how to approach the situation and decided to just run in full force with her apologies or, she was likely to sit in silence and stare at him all night.

“I’m sorry, Daryl.” She uttered. At the sound of her voice, his head twitched slightly to one side and he exhaled a large cloud of smoke. “I’m so sorry. What I did today was shitty. I’m a shitty friend.”

“Naw, I get it.” He told her “Ya got a better offer.”

“No, Daryl! No! That’s not it!” She pleaded, her voice rising and her body leaning across the table to him. She didn’t notice until her palm connected to the cold surface of the glass topped table that she was literally reaching out to him “Please, let me take you to the boat tomorrow. I’ll make it up to you. Please.”

It was enough to urge him to twist in his seat and make eye contact with her and in the moment that he did, his anger appeared to vanish completely.

“Ya actually gonna show up?” He asked.

“Yes! I know I messed up. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She assured him “I would never…I-I screwed up. Okay?”

“I ain’t upset.” He spat, turning back to the road and taking another drag of his smoke. Jess could see with her own eyes that he quite clearly was upset, but his tough exterior and disinclination to acknowledge his emotions meant he wasn’t about to admit it.

“Uh, I think you are.” She scoffed to herself.

I know you, Dixon. Don’t lie to me.

Jess retracted her hand and began to tap at her thigh beneath the table, anxious that he would just get up and leave without a word, or refuse her offer and never speak to her again. She knew in her heart that he was a little more forgiving than that, if he could get over her abandoning the quarry and hiding her identity from him for weeks, he was probably going to forgive her for this mishap. But the insecurity in her meant she jumped to the worst conclusion and found it problematic to get past it.

Minutes past and Daryl extinguished his smoke. He didn’t move. Didn’t even look at her. Jess was becoming so on edge she started counting what felt like the longest seconds she’d ever tolerated in her life. She got to three minutes before she detected that the drumming on her leg had increased and was actually loud enough for Daryl to hear. She stopped moving and searched her mind for something to break the silence.

“Tomorrow.” He finally said.

“Ok. Yes. Tomorrow. Thank you.” She blurted out swiftly.

Daryl stood and slowly walked back to the door. Jess, not wanting to linger for any longer than she was welcome, decided to follow him and veer off to the steps.

“Hey” He rasped from behind her. She turned as she balanced on the second step, on tenterhooks. “How ‘bout we just write-off today? Start over.”

The air left Jess’s lungs in a whoosh and her shoulders sagged, a thankful smile spread across her lips.

“I would like that very much.” She admitted.

“Alright” He agreed, “If I don’t see ya huntin’, I’ll meet ya by the gate. Midday.”

“Definitely” She said to herself. “Goodnight.”

He watched her leave the steps and cross the grass verge outside and took a minute to evaluate their conversation. He was angry, very angry and for a number of hours. But in holding onto it, he would have backed himself into a corner. A corner where he would be driven to come clean about the exact reason for his rage; that she had forgotten about him in favor of Abraham. Seeing her had chased away his fury in an instant and as long as he’d lived, no one had ever managed such a feat. He’d missed her. Not even a full day had passed and he’d missed her chatter and her jovial attitude. There was no way he could stay angry at her for long and as he stood there and watched her near the gate, he was glad of that.

The drive was gratifying enough for Daryl, the sun was high in the sky and the comfort of its warmth glowed in the trucks cab as Jess drove them along back streets and dirt tracks with the windows rolled down and a quiet tune being hummed for the duration. Conversation was minimal, as it had been from the moment that he’d met her at the gate. It wasn’t that he was still mad at her or was trying to prolong the silent treatment, he simply didn’t have much to say and preferred to steal glances at her as she switched gears, took corners and maneuvered the vehicle over bumpy terrain.

He noted that outwardly, Jess conducted herself much the same as she normally would but with a hint more enthusiasm than usual. A small change that could have been for a number of reasons; she could have been excited to show him the boat or, she was making a genuine effort to do as he’d suggested the previous night and start over. Whichever it was, he was pleased to be by her side again and grateful to be outside the walls.

Jess pulled the truck into the well-hidden track that led down to the gate. Rolling it to a stop, she climbed out and wandered up to the fence, peering through and checking for any signs of life. There were no footprints, not even any animal tracks and that in itself was a miracle to her. She was still baffled as to how no one had found such a diamond in the rough, but thanks to its overgrown track, fortified gate and high fences, the lake prospered in a world that was dying.

Hearing Daryl close the truck door behind her, she beamed at him and pointed in the direction of a hole in the fence that she’d used as an access point when she lived there. A dense and layered line of undergrowth provided a lot of cover for the man-sized hole in the wire that Jess rolled up and secured as she gestured for Daryl to duck through first. Once he was safely on the other side, she joined him and fastened the fence back together again, leaving it looking as thought it was completely untouched.

From the small, deserted beach, Daryl could see a jetty and one, single boat floating in the middle of the lake. It was a large boat, big enough to hold a family of four, maybe more and looked to be modern and well-kept save for some aesthetic issues like algae growing on the hull. He spied Jess smiling next to him and fiddling with her hands excitedly.

“You kiddin’ me, right now?” He asked “that’s your boat?”

“Well…technically not mine per se” She reasoned “But no one’s claimed it so, yeah. It’s mine.”

“That ain’t just a boat, Jess. That’s a frickin’ yacht” He observed with an impressed tone.

“Uh huh” She agreed as she set off for the jetty. “C’mon, I drove so you’re rowing.”

It was as innocent a request as any, that was as long as Jess kept her ulterior motive to herself. Sitting cross legged opposite Daryl as he rowed them to the side of the yacht didn’t make for a terrible sight at all. In fact, she made a mental note to request that he always do the rowing in future.

When Daryl climbed aboard the deserted, luxury boat, he blinked rapidly at the sight before him. Everything was spotless and as impressive as the outside was, the inside was even more so. A vast living area was split on two levels with a fully fitted kitchen at one end. The while upholstery, accessorized with gold, floral cushions was spotless and aside from a few specks on the carpet, the whole room looked as though it hadn’t long been bought from brand new. The kitchen counter tops were littered with empty cans and packets of food and mounted on one wall, were fishing rods, axes and various tools, including shovels and other gardening equipment.

Jess dumped her bag on the counter top of the kitchen island and began rummaging through it, looking for the packets of nuts and potato chips she’d managed to get from Olivia at the pantry. It was uncommon that she asked for much, so on this one occasion, Olivia agreed to let her have her pick of the snacks and nibbles provided she was conservative with her selection. As she searched and gathered everything up, Daryl slowly paced around the room, trailing his hand over surfaces and spending a while examining the fishing rods on the wall.

“When I found it, it was only occupied by two very well-dressed dead people. They checked out. Blew their own brains out. I tossed them overboard and it became mine. Funny how Gucci belts rot like the rest of them.” Jess explained as she pottered about “I’ve never seen another soul in this place since I’ve been living here. Not even any footprints on the shore. The water is clean and the fish are edible. Like a parallel universe. Without rowing out here it’s pretty difficult to get to so it’s secure enough.”

Daryl reached a cabinet by some dining chairs and a table and opened it up to find a vast array of different types of glasses. One for every possible beverage. He shook his head in disbelief and started down the narrow hall.

“This place is amazin’. Like some kinda famous person lived here.” He commented.

“I know, it’s three times the size of the apartment I had before the turn. I just can’t use it in the winter. The lake freezes over.” She told him “The door at the end is the master bedroom. It’s a little messy. It’s only ever been me here so I didn’t really have a need to make the bed. The door on the left is the bathroom and the one on the right is a smaller bedroom. It’s full of dead crops at the moment.”

Taking everything in, Daryl opened one door at a time, peering inside and sometimes stepping into the rooms before reappearing again and moving onto the next door or cupboard to discover what was inside. To him, it was like entering another world. He’d been on plenty of boats in his time, but never a yacht and never one with such amenities. He noticed that even the toilet was compostable, meaning it probably worked and with the help of a generator for water heating, the shower most likely did too.

Jess watched his amazement with a satisfied smile as she leaned on the kitchen counter. In all the time she’d known him, she’d never seen him so fascinated and interested in something besides hunting and his motorcycle and she felt proud that she was able to provide him with a break from the norm and one that he would enjoy.

“Bring me the generator from the smaller bedroom and we can have dinner here. I’ll pour us some drinks” She stated.

He nodded and ducked into the room, returning seconds later with a small generator which he handed to Jess with an awkward glance. Now, he was all too aware that the two of them were alone and would be for a number of hours in an environment that, aside from Alexandria, was the nicest and most bloodstain free as he’d seen since before the turn. What’s more, it was one of her domains and he felt like a teenager being invited over to a girl’s house while her parents were out. Not knowing what to do with himself, he hovered near the door and scanned the beach in the distance through the window.

“Why don’t you grab a seat outside? I’ll meet you out there.” Jess suggested.

Grunting in agreement, he clicked open the door and entered the warm sunshine. The deck was clean, the chairs and table scrubbed and neatly arranged, in the middle there was a raised semi-circle with fixed bar stools around the outside. He charged over to it, his eyes wide in astonishment just as Jess joined him with a bottle in one hand, two glasses pinched between her fingers and a bag of potato chips under her arm.

“There’s a fuckin’ bar out here?!” He exclaimed. She chuckled at his surprise, placing the bottle and glasses on the top of the bars surface as he took a seat. “See why ya come back here sometimes” he mentioned.

“It’s not just because it’s a nice boat. It’s because I made it mine. Just like the fairground. I worked hard to secure it and make it somewhere I could stay until I had no choice.” She surmised. Daryl hung on every word until he noticed the bottle of whiskey in her hand as she poured their drinks.

“The hell ya get that?” he demanded

“Secret stash. Thought you’d appreciate it. Although it’s Texan, so it’s better than all the rest.” She winked, taking a seat across the bar from him. The surface wasn’t any more than two feet wide, meaning with their hands resting on the top, they were closer than either of them realized. “Think of it as a peace offering. I really am sorry for what I did yesterday.” She met his eye but he quickly looked away while taking a gulp of his drink and wincing at its warmth.

“Guess he’s just more entertainin’.” He let slip, closing his eyes momentarily in frustration as he internally cursed himself for being so off the cuff. Jess stilled with her glass halfway to her mouth. She slowly returned it to the bar and tilted her head at him.

“Why would you say something like that?” She asked.

That just great. You fuckin’ idiot. You’ve screwed yourself over now. May as well just ask what you want to ask.

He fidgeted in his seat and Jess pushed her lips into a thin line when he threw the rest of his drink down his throat and slammed the glass on the bar. She didn’t know why, but his body language had changed considerably in the passing seconds. His jaw was pulled tight and he sat back away from the bar, crossing his big arms across his chest and hugging his torso. He appeared so uncomfortable that Jess almost told him to forget she’d even asked.

“You n’ him, you like a thing or somethin’?” he muttered with his vision cast out to the gently lapping waves around the boat.

“What?! No!” Jess cried, ruining the peaceful sound of the water tickling at the hull “We’re friends. We just get along. That’s all.”

He didn’t move an inch other than performing his usual, deep thinking ritual of nibbling his bottom lip.

“Just…seem close.” He mused.

Jess sighed and did a small double take at the potato chips. She stuffed her hand in the bag and chucked a couple into her mouth, chewing as she picked through possible responses to his observation in her mind. To everyone else, she did seem close to Abe and she knew that. But it was quite clear they were just friends and she enjoyed the kind of banter with him that she had with the male friends she’d had before everything went wrong. But what she had with Abraham was different to that of the connection she felt with Daryl. Very, very different indeed.

“I’m not that close to anyone.” She commented “Except you.”

He nodded once and finally awarded her the eye contact she wanted so she could at least try and work out what was going on in his head. Feeling the need to clarify a significant factor on the topic, she leaned towards him slightly and gestured to him with her glass as she spoke.

“Did you know that Abraham is actually with Rosita? Like, she’s his actual girlfriend.”

Another nod was his sole reply and Jess was altogether more confused than ever. Why would he ever have an issue with her being friends with Abraham if he knew that he was paired off with someone else? It was becoming evident that she was going to have to apply a little more pressure to get to the bottom of what was now a baffling conversation.

“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” She asked.

“Depends how personal.” He grumbled.

“Please” she urged.

“Alright. Fine. Can’t promise i’ma answer.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

Adopting Carol’s directness and ability to demand the truth, Jess readied herself for a flat refusal to reply to her question, but she needed to try anyway. She thought of the possible implications; he could flare up and get angry at her again, he could close up altogether and cement his defenses, or he could give her what she wanted, which was a straight answer. Whichever way, if she didn’t ask, she would never know.

“Were you mad at me because I forgot, or were you mad at me because It was Abraham I was with?”

If he was trying to hide his discomfort, he was failing. Jess observed him sigh loudly, his exhalation laced with a growl and she hoped it wasn’t aimed at her. He leaned forwards on the bar stool, using his elbows to brace himself and taking time to rub at his beard with one hand. The energy he was giving off was palpable and there was a discernible testiness, especially when she heard him cuss under his breath. She didn’t know why and it may have been out of place during such a tense moment, but she panicked and decided to top up both glasses and help herself to more chips. By the time she’d finished tinkering with everything on the surface, she found him glaring right at her.

“Both” He uttered.

Carol was right

“You were jealous.” She acknowledged.

His eyes dropped and he stared down into his drink for a moment. Having not touched his refill, Jess wondered if it was wise to be drinking during such a taxing conversation. He chewed on his bottom lip and she waited with bated breath for his response. She was learning; just wait and he would answer. Push him, and he would retreat into himself.

“Maybe” He grunted. “I dunno”

She exhaled a large breath and blinked as she looked down at the decking between her knees. Terrified of prodding at his temper again, she was at a loss for what to say and the silence between them was thickening. She forced herself to speak, having no idea if he was jealous in a romantic way or because she spent time with Abraham in general. She decided to play it safe and be honest, to an extent.

“OK. Um. OK.” She started “You…” She reached across the bar, gently placing her hand on his forearm. “…are my favorite person. Ever. I have never met anybody like you before and I highly doubt I ever will again.”

“Ya ain’t gotta do that.” He snapped, moving away from her and rising to his feet.

“Do what?” She inquired.

He flicked a dismissive hand in her direction. “I don’t need that reassurance bullshit.”

While she was busy fretting about Daryl’s temper, she’d neglected to maintain her own and it rushed to the surface at his comment. Before she could contain it, she was on her feet and slapping both hands on the bar.

“It’s not bullshit.” She told him. “And I think you do need it. No matter how vulnerable it makes you feel. I’m trying to be honest with you and it’s fucking terrifying and kind of irritating so if you could take me seriously, I’d appreciate it.”

Shocked at her clap back, he let a let out a brief huff and quickly diminished the slight smile of disbelief on his lips. It dawned on him from the irate look on her face that he’d offended her and a wave of regret engulfed him. He cleared his throat and gave her a quick nod, hoping that she would recognize that reassurance was not something he’d ever had the luxury of experiencing and therefore, was way out of his depth in dealing with it.

“Can I continue? Or would you like to pity yourself a little more? I don’t have all night” She spat.

It was one of the things he now knew he liked about her; the fact that she wouldn’t take any crap and if she was pushed, she could fight back like the best of them. He suspected she was always like that but it was heavily masked when he knew her back at the quarry due to the big personalities and overwhelming similarities Sarah and Jodie had to high school bullies. Showing her that he was, in fact, serious. He sat back down on his bar stool and managed to hold back the need to smile at her defiance.

“I like Abraham. He’s nice and funny and we share a lot of the same interests now I want to get to know my firearms. He’s the type of guy that I just get along with. But he’s not you. I’ve never had a connection to someone like I do with you. It’s weird and nice and scary all at once. So, there really is no need for you to be jealous.” She paused “He just flirts outrageously with me from time to time”

He watched her closely as he exhaled slowly and Jess secretly worried that she might have made things worse by the expression on his face. He seemed troubled, almost pained but he was too difficult to read. He looked away, back at the beach while he finished up his second drink, placing the glass on the table in front of them and taking in the sparkling view of the water and the clear blue sky. Jess finished her drink and accepted that it may well have been the end of the conversation and she still didn’t feel like they’d reached any kind of compromise. It felt unfinished but she was at a complete loss as to what else she could say to him. So much time passed that she felt her stomach growl and picked up the bag of chips, nibbling noisily on them and wondering why the hell they were even still sitting there.

“Can’t blame him. You’re real pretty.” Daryl mumbled out of nowhere.

She rapidly turned her head to face him, her mouth falling open, full of partially chewed potato chips. She was astonished and could only gawp at him for what seemed like forever. Daryl was positive he could have counted at least a full minute before she spoke.

“That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” She whispered before quickly chewing the rest of what was in her mouth and swallowing hard.

Daryl had now waded so far out of his comfort zone that he didn’t seem to be giving any thought to what came out of his mouth which was unheard of when he was with anyone else but Jess. Somehow, she made him say and do things that were out of character and how she managed it was a complete mystery to him. Nervously, he played with a loose piece of thread hanging from the bottom of his shirt under his vest with his head dipped, but he could sense the burning of the tips of his ears.

What the fuck am I doing?

“Oh my god.” Jess whispered to herself.

“C’mon, don’t make it no big deal” He pleaded self-consciously.

“You think-you think I’m pretty?” She stammered having already made it a huge deal. It was a first. Having believed for her whole life that she was not the girl that guys wanted to date, Jess hadn’t been the happy recipient of such compliments and while other girls reveled in them, she could merely hope that one day, she would be able to do the same. She didn’t see herself as pretty, or attractive in the slightest and as a result, she struggled to take Daryl’s admission as gospel. Now, she was the one that needed the reassurance.

“Yeah.” He grunted.

“Really? For real?” She continued. If she was coming across as a little flabbergasted, she didn’t care in the slightest.

“S’what I said, ain’t it?” He snipped at her, feeling out of control and exposed. After a deep breath he regained his composure and softened his voice “Course I do, dumb-ass.”

“Thank you.” She blushed “that’s a huge compliment. Especially coming from you.”

Her cheeks and nose were raging with warmth and she could see her reflection in the chrome beam around the bar’s counter. She was a deep shade of red and expected Daryl to be smiling at her smugly like he always did when he’d managed to embarrass her. But when she flickered her eyes up to his face, she was met with confusion.

“Why?” he asked.

She shifted about in her seat and huffed nervously. Should she have another drink, or was that a bad idea? It would provide her with the liquid courage to say what she wanted, but once it was said, it couldn’t be taken back and there was one, sizeable confession that she did not want to admit off the back of a drunken conversation on a boat that wasn’t likely to remember. She pushed the bottle away and Daryl noted her intention, internally agreeing with her.

“Um…” she tried “you even seen yourself?” She said under her breath

Daryl couldn’t help it, he flinched.

Does this mean she still has a crush on me?

“I ain’t nothin” He shrugged.

“Oh, shut up.” She scoffs with a small, nervous laugh “badass, big-armed, blue-eyed archer with a soft side. Yeah. Sure. You’re ‘nothing’” Her air quotations only made it all seem even more ridiculous. Like Jess, Daryl was never on the receiving end of a compliment, let alone so many in one sentence and from someone that occupied his thoughts on an uncomfortably regular basis.

“Get outta here, girl.” He laughed shyly.

That really what she thinks of me?!

The delicate pink hue across his cheeks and nose diminished rapidly but she loved every single second of the sight of it she did that. She made him blush and that told her that maybe, just maybe, he was happy that she thought him to be more than just a redneck from the mountains.

“You’re just as bad at taking a compliment as I am, it seems.” She pointed out.

“Not used to it.” He told her.

“Same” She agreed “You believe me though, right?”

“You believe me?” he shot back, feeling braver once his cheeks had simmered down and locking eyes with her.

“I believe that’s your opinion, yes.” She expressed.

“Same with you.” He smiled.

Neither of them could tell how much time had passed between Daryl's last comment and when he finally jolted and coughed, breaking the tense silence around them and the searing eye contact that had left them both teetering on the edge of making some kind of move, even if neither of them knew exactly what.

They finished off the bag of chips and after Jess retreated inside to fix them up some food, Daryl hovered around the deck, pacing and thinking that this might be the closest thing he’d ever had to a date. That was, if she felt the same. He knew she thought him to be decent looking and that thought alone was enough to make him smirk to himself. The longer he spent with her and the more he tested the water with flirtatious lines and compliments, the surer he was that he liked her more than he liked anybody else. He’d never breathed a word to anyone, but Merle had known it too and on the odd occasion, he wished he could just speak to his brother and ask him how he managed to pick up on it before he even had a clue himself. One thing loomed over it all; she was his best friend, his one and only exceptionally close soul who he would miss horrendously if it were to change

He refused any more whiskey for fear of bringing an abrupt end to what was becoming one of, if not the best days he’d had since the turn, maybe even ever. His limits when he drank became blurred and his personality changed, he altered to a more aggressive, blunt and unpredictable version of himself. A version that he hated and never, ever wanted to inflict upon Jess. Far from wanting to tell her as much, he simply suggested that he should save the rest and make it last.

When night began to fall and the crystal clear, blue sky made way for the velvet blanket of night with it’s twinkling stars, Jess and Daryl lay on two sun loungers on the decking, both staring up to the sky and enjoying the blissful, noiseless ambiance of being on a boat with the best company they could have wished for. With no more than a few inches between their sun loungers, Jess wished she could just reach out and take his hand on more than one occasion. But it would stay as a subtle fantasy and something she could only hope would be allowed to happen one day.

“Your leg seems a lot better” She observed.

“Yeah. At last.” He replied. He was positioned with one arm behind his head, his black shirt pulled up and revealing a slither of bare skin above his waistband. Jess had already clocked it, and shifted onto her side so she could admire the view, which was turning out to be much more entertaining than the stars. “Listen, thanks for everythin’ ya did.” He continued “I know I ain’t easy to be around sometimes.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I’ll always be here for you.” She wanted him to know. “Although, I should point out that you’re lucky I was even around to help you. My mother almost became a nun and if she had, I’d never have been born.”

He turned his head to see her grinning at him. He wished he knew more about her, about her past and who she was before. He knew of her nerdy side and it wasn’t lost on him that she was sometimes shy and nervous, disbelieving that he could possibly think she was anything other than the ‘little, fat chick’ that his brother had referred to her as. He wanted to know more and he raised an eyebrow in interest.

“Really? A nun?” He questioned

“Yep and if it wasn’t for my love of a couple of the deadly sins, namely Gluttony and Sloth, I may have followed suit. Right into the convent.” She said. Her finger traced along the seam of the sun lounger, up and down in front of her.

“Can't see you as a nun” He chuckled

“Hey, don’t mock. I’m a nice, innocent girl” She insisted “I mean, I certainly wasn’t going to miss one of the sins. Never really been the object of anyone’s Lust.”

It was a tempting concept to him, to tell her that she most certainly was the object of someone’s lust now and before he could control it, the words were tumbling from his lips, albeit in an a barely-there whisper as he looked back up at the sky.

“Yeah, that ya know of.”

For a split second, Jess almost laughed out loud from thinking his comment was intended to be funny or some kind of joke. But when he didn’t laugh and acted as though he’d said nothing at all, she suddenly grasped that he had meant to think it rather than voice it.

Does that mean he…? No. Surely it doesn’t mean…? Oh, god!

Once again, her face exploded with heat and she rolled over onto her back, praying that he wouldn’t catch a glimpse of how coy she’d become.

But he already had. From his peripheral vision, he could see her raise her hands and cover her face for a few seconds while his heart raced in his chest at the prospect of her overhearing something that was supposed to be an innermost thought. He lay still on the lounger and acted as though he had no idea she was listening, ignorance was bliss.

She swung her legs over the lounger and announced that they should be getting back, it was dark and they had to hunt in the morning. Automatically, Daryl mirrored her when she stood but had very little desire to go back to Alexandria at all. The pause between them had been laden with so many things that had gone unsaid. Neither one of them were able to look away at first, neither of them wanted to.

“Why don’t we just stay here?” He suggested, lifting his arm and scratching at the back of his head. It wasn’t needed and it was more of a grounding gesture, to make him come across as certain and confident of his proposal when he was actually quite the opposite. In reality and to Jess, it made him look like a nervous teenager.

“We have to hunt in the morning” She reminded him.

“Can just get up before sunrise n’ go straight there.” He put forward. “I mean, um…it just- it makes more sense than drivin’ back in the dark. Y’know, safer n’all.”

She hoped he didn’t pick up on the slow and deep breath she hauled in before agreeing to his idea. She wanted nothing more than to spend the night on the boat with him and his suggestion had both startled and pleased her. After a good-natured argument over who was sleeping where, it was determined that Daryl wasn’t to sleep on anything but a bed because of his leg and because Jess had thrown out the spare mattress to make room for her crops, there was only the master bedroom left. Having shared a bed before, they both set about acting as if it wasn’t an issue, that it was nothing more than two friends sharing some space but in the back of his mind Daryl was anxious and so was Jess.

She pulled the ladder up at the side of the boat, preventing anyone from climbing aboard during the night and locked the door, switching off the decking lights. In the bedroom, she lit two pillar candles on the shelf above the bed which were a brilliant arc of gold in the blackness, rendering the shapes of the room so muted they turned a deep grey. Daryl sat up on one side of the bed, his boots left on the floor beside him. He shamelessly watched Jess through a side glance as she sat on her side of the bed and peeled off her layers one by one. Her jacket, her armored clothing and her boots. Leaving only her camo pants and a black tank top. There was a dull ache across her ribs from her injury at the fairground that was still sometimes problematic. With her back to him, she tugged the elastic from her hair which held her braid in place and raked her fingers through her hair, sending a shimmering curtain of waves across her shoulders.

He closed his eyes and looked away, shrugging off his leather vest and enduring the guilt stinging him for the way he thought of her sometimes. He had little interest in objectifying her, but he was human and his appreciation of her was now reaching much further than that of a friend who thought her to be pretty. He waited for her to settle beside him with her legs drawn up and glanced over at her with a small smile, their shoulders were a hair's breadth apart on the headboard and Daryl did his best to ignore the pleasant warmth that he felt emanating on his bare shoulder from her relaxing next to him.

“Never shown anybody the boat until today” She said thoughtfully.

“Appreciate it.” He replied sincerely. “Needed to get out n’ do somethin’. Goin’ crazy sittin’ on my ass all day. Carol keeps harpin’ on, throwin’ that damn physio book at me.”

Jess giggled happily and rolled her eyes at him, not bothering to mention that if it wasn’t Carol hassling him about physio, it would be her.

“Was good to see one of the places ya live too.” He added.

“It was a nice night. I had fun.” She concluded. It was the most fun she’d had in as far back as she could remember and there was not a single doubt in her mind that she would have had anywhere near as much of a perfect night if she was there with anyone else. She scanned the wall opposite, making animals and mythical creatures from the shapes that flickered there and she was content. As content as she’d been in recent weeks, maybe months. His company beside her just seemed right. It made sense and she couldn’t wait for a repeat of the last few hours.

“I ask ya somethin’?” He whispered

“Sure”

“Will ya let me visit ya sometimes? At the fairground. I mean, actually let me in.” He requested.

By showing him her floating fortress, a part of her survival story and a place she sometimes called home, she’d already let him into a small part of her world. The fairground was only the next step.

“OK. But only you” She agreed with a wide grin. “Why do you want to visit me there anyway?”

In the yellow glow she saw him lick his lips and start to shake his head before pausing and fixing in her such a penetrating stare the skin on the back of her neck prickled and her palms began to sweat.

“You know.” He breathed.

“No, I don’t.” She whispered back.

It was there, on the tip of his tongue waiting to be released. The huge secret he held locked in his heart. She’d come along and picked the lock and drawn it out and now it was teetering on the edge and he was so tempted. So, tempted to just tell her.

Jess, I really like you.

“I rea…” But then, his gusto vanished “…I don’t like not seeing you”

Just like that, it was gone and he resigned himself to the fact that he would never have the courage to confess how he really felt. Not without the certainty that she felt the same. However, the words that came out of his mouth were not untrue and were enough to insert a sparkle in her eyes and create a suspense between them that he really wasn’t ready for.

“I don’t like not seeing you either” She told him.

His eyes dropped to her lips and she held her breath, unsure by what was happening but feeling certain that the energy around them had changed drastically into pure suspense. She didn’t like to assume, but she was willing him to kiss her. Repeating it in her mind over and over, all the while struggling to comprehend that anything of the sort could be happening to her. There was a vulnerability to him, a look of intent while his lips said nothing and it made her heart flutter. The perfect blend of sexy and adorable.

Daryl was literally on the verge and his mind was engaged in a war that was getting louder by the second. If he kissed her there and then it would be the first move that he’d made on someone he genuinely liked and that would be an achievement in itself, let alone that it would be on Jess. The only girl to ever have made him so crazy, he had endured the resentment, inadequacy and helplessness of jealousy. Uncertain if she would back away and take their friendship with her, it wasn’t enough. He blinked and broke the chains between them, snapping Jess out of her trance.

“Should get some sleep.” He mumbled.

“Yeah.” She quickly agreed. “Goodnight.” Before either of them could say anymore, Jess had slipped under the covers and dragged them so far up, her head was barely visible and there she stayed. On her side, facing away from him, for the entire night.

“You got it bad, little brother. Look at you, all snuggly n’ shit. Since when did you get to be such a pussy?”

Daryl shot up from the pillow, unable to catch his breath at first. Merle. He’d heard Merle. His head snapped from side to side, scanning the room. He’d definitely heard him. Then, he was there. In the corner, shrouded in darkness and balancing on a dresser stool, smoking a cigarette. Daryl couldn’t smell it, even though the smoke filled the room. He glanced down at Jess, motionless. Fast asleep. A throaty chuckle emanated from the darkened corner.

“M-Merle?” Daryl croaked.

“Us Dixon’s always had to fight for what’s ours.” Merle pointed out as he leaned closer, into the light. His face was mostly obscured but Daryl could see the bullet hole in his white vest, a deep crimson circle on his chest. His mind raced. Where did he come from? How is he alive? He turned into a Walker; he was gone. It didn’t make sense. “We was never good for much, but we was always survivors n’ ain’t much use in survivin’ if ya miserable as sin. All them folks in them nice houses? They all think you’re just redneck trash and one day, they’re gonna scrape you off their shoes like dog shit. Need to show ‘em. Ain’t nothin’ like provin’ folks wrong”

“You died. I saw you die. I put you down.” Daryl breathed jaggedly

“Are we ever really gone?” Merle sneered “Where’s the fun in that, now?”

“What are you doin’ here?” Daryl asked

Merle nodded towards the sleeping form of Jess beside him, clutching the covers to her neck and breathing a slow and steady rhythm.

“She’s a good one.” He stated “A little straight-laced but she’s got stones bigger than yours Darlina.”

Daryl's breathing was still labored and rapid at the sight of his dead brother talking to him from the corner of the room.

“You don’t know nothin’ ‘bout her.” He growled.

“Oh, but I do. That’s the fine thing ‘bout bein’ dead. You see all kinds of shit n’ I see you followin’ the little, fat chick around like some kinda hound dog beggin’ for a treat. You know what you gotta do. I told ya. So, why ain’t ya done it yet?”

Dead? Daryl began to hyperventilate. He was talking to his brother from beyond the grave. Shock washed over him and he blinked and shook his head, but the effigy remained. Merle had not moved a muscle. The smoke from his cigarette was turning everything cloudy, engulfing the room in smoke as if a fire were ablaze somewhere. Jess continued to sleep soundly, the smoke forming a funnel as it entered her nose upon each inhalation.

“Put the smoke out, ya gonna choke her to death.” Daryl ordered. But Merle merely grinned.

“Well?” He asked.

“I-I can’t.” He stammered “It ain’t that simple.”

“Oh, you ‘can’t’?” Merle mocked with pursed lips and a sniveling tone “Buck the fuck up, boy. All those years I spent, tryin’ to make a man of you and this is what I get?”

“It ain’t like that for her, bro.” Daryl mumbled in defeat. “She deserves better anyways.”

“Now you listen to me” Merle announced as he rose from the seat and hovered in the corner. The shadows cast a blackness over most of his face, leaving one, piercing blue eye scowling at Daryl. The smoke around them grew thicker and thicker and seeped into his lungs, it was hard to breathe, difficult to suck in a shallow breath. “I always said ain’t nobody ever gonna care ‘bout you but me, little brother. But I’m off meetin’ my maker… or, down in the depths with a whiskey in one hand and a bag of crystal meth in the other, whichever way ya wanna look at it. So, you gotta take your chance on her.” He paused to look over at Jess, cocking his head to one side thoughtfully. It was like the shadows followed his movement, keeping him concealed “She did right by me, would have been dead a whole lot sooner if it wasn’t for her. Like I said, ain’t no point survivin’, lettin’ all them pansy asses thinkin’ you a damn fool, when you could have somethin’ better.”

Rubbing his eyes with one hand, Daryl expected Merle to have vanished by the time he reopened his eyes, but still, he lingered in his cloud of intoxicating, yet odorless smoke. He hadn’t told Jess, but Merle had indeed told him what he needed to do and so far, he’d ignored the advice given to him.

“I need to know for sure, man. Can’t lose her.” He told him.

Merle slowly unfurled an arm, coated in blood and dust, his hand missing and replaced by a metal prosthetic and bayonet. He pointed it at Jess, stepping out from the corner and Daryl’s eyes widened at the multiple, bloody stab wounds to the side of his face. His stomach clenched and he felt nauseous. Stab wounds that he was forced to inflict. Violence again at his brother, or the shell that was left of him, at his own hand.

“This aint sure enough for ya, dummy?” Merle questioned with a rattle from deep in his chest. “You can’t see what’s right in front of ya. Time’s a wastin’, Daryl. Get to it.”

The smoke was now so thick that Daryl could barely see his brother anymore. He sat up further on the bed and squinted through the smog. Jess was blanketed in swirls of grey mass, undetectable. Holding his blue gaze, Merle smiled at Daryl, the half of his face that was still intact a painful reminder of everything he’d lost.

“M’ sorry I couldn’t save ya.” Daryl uttered, his voice a husky whisper “I just want my brother back”

“Don’t be no sissy” Merle smirked. “It’s time to wake up.”

“What?” Daryl asked, confused

“Wake up, little brother.”

His entire body jolted and his eyes snapped open. The room was clear, the air not clogged with smog and his lungs able to work properly again. The corner of the room was illuminated by the slither of the sun’s rays working their way through the drapes as morning crept in. He blinked and was suddenly rooted to the spot when he noticed the position that he was curled into. His body was flush against Jess’s back, his head resting on her hair and his face a mere brush away from the skin of her neck. To make matters worse, his hand was resting on her waist. He racked his brain to try and figure out how he managed to end up here, on the other side of the bed and spooning the girl he liked.

He regulated his breathing so as not to wake her and lifted his hand from her side, slowly rolling over and away from her. His other arm was entirely numb, his fingers starting to tingle when he flexed his knuckles. He sat up against the headboard, craning his neck to try and see if Jess was awake and was relieved to find that she was still fast asleep.

“What the hell….?” He said to himself under his breath.

Merle. He thought. If he was visiting him in his dreams it would be just his style to make sure he left with one more, embarrassing parting gift by ensuring Daryl woke in position he couldn’t explain and that would leave them both red faced. He was grateful that Jess was still asleep and hadn’t stirred when he moved or he would have a lot of explaining to do. It wasn’t his nature to be so bold as to cross such a physical boundary, especially without permission and that only added to the feeling of bafflement and worry that he experienced as a result. He decided to get up and head outside for a smoke before he woke Jess up for the hunt.

On her side of the bed, Jess’s eyes sprang open when the door to the bedroom closed softly and she rolled over onto her back, laying both of her hands across her forehead and gawping at the ceiling. Little did Daryl know; Jess had been awake long before he was. His murmurings and flinching in his dreams had coaxed her from a deep sleep and she lay there trying to decipher his muffled and almost inaudible ramblings. When he’d finally quietened, she was stunned to find he curled up behind her, easing his face into the gap behind her head and gently sliding his hand onto her waist. Once the initial shock had faded, she allowed herself to enjoy this one, small joy. The sensation of being snuggled into, having someone that wanted to be so close to her he had mimicked the position of her body and fit to her like a jigsaw piece. Because that’s what he was to her, this missing piece to a complex puzzle that had been destroyed when the world went away but was now coming back to life. The pictures were brightening and the edges weren’t so frayed. He was repairing it single-handedly and she let herself reap the benefits, closing her eyes and reveling in his close proximity.

So, that’s what it would be like. She thought I could definitely get used to that.

She found him on the deck, sitting on the edge with his legs dangling from the side. She offered him a coffee cup and settled beside him while sipping her own. The sun was beginning to peep over the canopy of trees beyond the beach and Jess had forgotten just how beautiful it was at the boat when the sun was rising. Aside from a quiet greeting and thanking her for the coffee, Daryl said nothing, his legs swinging back and forth and his attention moving from the smoke he was finishing, to his coffee cup and then up to the sunrise.

“Sleep OK?” Jess squeaked, unintentionally sounding a little more awkward than she would have liked.

“Yeah.” He nodded without turning to look at her. “Had the weirdest dream.”

Of course, she knew he’d been dreaming, she’d watched him whimper and mumble and jolt in his sleep. But she chose to claim ignorance, thinking it to be the better option than admitting to watching him sleep like some kind of stalker.

“What about?” She inquired

“Merle.” He stated simply.

The lack of information was no more than Jess could have expected and she figured that should he want to offer up anything else, he would have done so.

“Are you alright?” She asked in the knowledge that it couldn’t have been an altogether good thing to be dreaming about his deceased brother.

“Mmhmm” He hummed, quickly glancing at her and attempting to assure her that he wasn’t as unsettled as he felt.

“You miss him.” She said. It was a statement rather than a question, but one Daryl needed to respond to.

“Everyday.” He mumbled.

Jess gently reached out and squeezed his forearm. It was a motion that lasted less than two seconds before she was wandering back inside but he remained where he was, staring down at where his skin was tingling from her touch. Merle’s words floated through his mind.

‘You know what you gotta do. I told ya. So, why ain’t ya done it yet?’

Wandering through the trees as a duo was something Daryl had been looking forward to, as he always did when Jess joined him on the hunt. But hunting that morning was more strenuous than Jess could have planned for. The heat was so strong it was like wading around in an oven and sweat soaked through her clothes, which she was beginning to wish were not mostly black. On top of being on the verge of heatstroke, her lower abdomen coiled and tensed as though it was being wrung out and it meant she often had to stop and take a deep breath to stave off the pain. Daryl noticed straight away, keeping a close eye on her before she halted completely and clamped her hands around her middle. He was aware of the high temperatures but couldn’t say he was suffering as much as Jess appeared to be and he ran to her aid, taking hold of her arms and standing at her side to steady her.

“What’s goin’ on? You’re burnin’ up. What hurts?” He pleaded but Jess just brushed him off, determined to press on and finish their task.

“I’ll be fine.” She sighed

He didn’t argue at first, but it wasn’t sitting well with Daryl. Not one little bit and his focus shifted from hunting to watching her as she staggered through the woods, clinging to tree trunks and sucking in sharp breaths.

Jess was horrified. She knew exactly what was wrong with her but in the company of not only a male, but one she was hopelessly in love with, she was left with little option but to soldier on and pretend that the crippling menstrual cramps that were wracking her body didn’t exist. She cursed herself for not planning this better. Thinking she would have been back at the fairground the night before; she’d neglected to remember when Daryl suggested staying at the boat that there was a very good reason why she wanted to be at home and behind closed doors. She’d got herself so excited about the prospect of him wanting to stay longer and be alone with her, that she found herself in the most humiliating and awful of situations.

“Jess, just go back. Go to the infirmary or to Aaron’s.” Daryl tried from behind her.

“Did you not hear me? I said I’m fine. I can handle it.” She snapped back at him.

Her outburst had surprised him but he put it down to her being in a reasonably evident amount of pain and being stubborn enough not to do anything about it. She surged ahead, stopping briefly to check for tracks on the ground. Daryl hung back, hovering around her like an overprotective husband and It was fortunate that he did because Jess soon succumbed to the pain in her abdomen and ended up leaning against a tree, doubled over and baring her teeth.

He wasn’t going to take no for an answer and if she wanted to fight, he’d fight her, but he was not leaving her out there to trundle through the woods when she should have been in the infirmary. He ran to her, pulling her hair from her face and noticing how sweaty her forehead was.

“Nope. C’mon. I’m takin’ ya back.” He told her as he looped her arm over his shoulder.

“No!” She cried “No! I’m fine!

“Shut up” he groaned, hooking his arm around the back of her knees and lifting her from the floor. She clung to his shoulders and glowered at him.

“Remember that Walker alarm I said I had back at the quarry? Well, if you don’t put me down this instant, I’ll scream at the top of my lungs and have every rotting corpse within a twenty-mile radius hot on your heels. I said I am fine. I’m not going to toss my cookies all over the damn woods.”

Daryl sighed loudly and began to take the same path they’d followed on the way out.

“Yeah, big threat.” He stated “I don’t care. Set Walkers on me. Fight me if ya want. Ya ain’t stayin’ out here.”

It was becoming clearer to Jess that the only way she was going to get out of this aside from actually fighting him, which she did not want to do, was to tell him the truth. She was a private person when it came to such issues and after the tampon incident at the hotel, she hoped that she could avoid any further references to such things. But it was not to be and she was now backed into a corner. She swallowed hard and released a frustrated and throaty growl of frustration.

“OK. Fine” She complained “I know what it is and it’s nothing to worry about. I have cramps. Cramps that I get every month. Feminine…cramps. I get hot and irritable too. So, I don’t need a doctor, nor do I need my gay friend. What I need is to continue with my day with my dignity intact and lord knows it’s all but abandoned me right now.”

Daryl stopped walking and tried to speak but nothing materialized at first. He stood there with her clutched to his chest, his lips parted and his mind blank.

Well, this is new. He eventually thought.

He switched direction, swerving from one path to another without a word and carried on, refusing to put her down.

“What are you…? Daryl?!” She demanded.

“Just shut up, Jess!” He suddenly argued when his temper had worn thin. “There ain’t no way I’m lettin’ ya hunt in this state. What kind of guy would I be if I just fuckin’ left ya to it, huh?! Ya can’t even walk. So, I’m takin’ ya home.”

“Oh my god, this is so humiliating.” She huffed under her breath as Daryl ignored her protests and ducked under low hanging trees, carrying her back to the fairground.

Outside the infirmary, he tapped his foot on the porch nervously. Delivering Jess to her home had been one thing, but leaving her inside her gate with no painkillers and extremely mad at him was another altogether. When he left the fairground, he told he would be back with something to help, quite what he was referring to was lost on him, but he had to do something. Jess raged at him that she wanted to be left to her own devices and that she didn’t need him to return. But he could be just as hard headed as her and the thought of him leaving her in so much pain was not a nice one at all.

The door to the infirmary swung open and Denise appeared, clearly not expecting to find Daryl standing on the other side of the door.

“Daryl. Hi.” She greeted.

“Hey Doc. Need ya help with somethin’.” He informed her quietly. She noted the low tone of his voice. Drawing her hoodie around her body, she stepped closer to prevent him from having to speak up.

“Okay, are you alright? Is it your leg?” She questioned with a concerned look.

“Uh, no. It’s Jess. She got this issue. Need some help from a…a female.” He tried to explain. All the while, he hoped that he would not have to be forced to explain in any more detail and that Denise would just connect the dots.

“Oh? What kind of issue are we talking about?” She asked.

No, he was not going to get away with minimal details. Uncomfortable, he shifted his weight and leaned on the doorframe, wondering when he'd transformed into that guy, the guy that runs out to the store to buy his girl sanitary products and chocolate.

“A uh, a monthly one.” Was all he could think of to say.

“Oh!” Denise exclaimed, finally figuring out what the awkward and clueless man in front of her meant “What does she need?”

Daryl unintentionally waved his hand around in front of his own stomach “She’s got these… cramps.”

A slightly bemused expression crossed her face before she remembered her professionalism and shrank back into the room. “I’ll be right back.”

Left on his own, Daryl slowly walked the length of the porch and back again with his hands pushed into the pocket of his ripped, black jeans. He struggled to believe the situation he found himself in and never could have imagined over a year ago that he would be in the middle of the apocalypse, begging a doctor for help because the girl he liked had cramps. It was a ridiculous notion, but there was no way he was about to leave Jess and pretend that everything was fine, when it wasn’t. He considered for a moment what Merle would have said and cringed slightly at the thought.

Yeah, you’d fuckin’ love this, wouldn’t you? You asshole.

Denise returned with a small, plastic bag containing two pills and a bright blue hot water bottle. She held them out to Daryl who took them from her grasp.

“I’m not supposed to dispense pain meds for this kind of thing because it goes away on its own but for you to be standing here, it must be bad. So, keep it to yourself and give her those. I am also prescribing this hot water bottle, I filled it for you, and some light exercise.” She explained to a nodding and uneasy Daryl.

“That it?” he checked “There nothin’ else that helps?”

Denise knew there was and although she thought it to be admirable and brave that Daryl had shown up out of nowhere to ask for such assistance and she wasn't entirely aware of his relationship, or lack thereof with Jess, the temptation was too great to ignore.

“There’s also orgasms.” She shrugged as she tried with all her might not to burst into fits of laughter at the shock on his face. “Y’know, one or… two players, if you’re game. But you might want to buy her a drink first.”

She was met with a thick silence followed by a grunt. She couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I’m sorry. I’m kidding.” She laughed “I mean, orgasms do work though.”

“Pain meds, hot water bottle, exercise. Got it.” He clarified very deliberately while holding up the hot water bottle. “Thanks Doc.” He mumbled with a quick jump down the steps.

“Daryl?” She called out to him. He glanced over his shoulder to see her about to close the door. “It’s cute. What you’re doing for her. It’s…it’s cute.”

“Yeah, keep that to yourself.” He huffed.

He waited ten minutes with no response from inside the fairground and was growing increasingly irritated as each minute passed. From his place at the gate, he could see through the disused rides to the door of the diner that Jess now called home and he wondered if, with some well-aimed throws, he could make her mad enough to open the door and yell at him. At least then, he would have a shot at passing on the painkillers he’d endured a very awkward encounter for. Just as he began to look around on the ground for some small rocks to throw, he heard the door swing open inside. Jess appeared and walked along the path towards him, wearing some baggy, grey sweatpants and a Star Wars T-shirt. She’d scraped her hair up into a messy bun and wore her unlaced military boots, pulled open at the top.

“Thought I told you I didn’t need you to come back here.”

Daryl said nothing, instead opting to press the hot water bottle against the fence with one hand and display the tiny packet of pills in his palm with the other. Jess was quickly put in her place without a word and swallowed the anger she’d felt when she noticed his valiant effort. Now not angry at all, she was touched. He’d gone out of his way to help her even though she was being difficult and bordering on rude. She edged closer until she was standing inches from his face with the fence in between them.

“You didn’t have to do that.” She croaked.

“Don’t like you bein’ in pain.” He uttered.

He didn’t need to ask to be let in. Jess unlocked the gate and stepped aside, to allow him past. He waited for her to secure the lock and let her lead the way to the first time he would be allowed inside her home. Guiding him inside, he saw that it was an old cafeteria but it barely had the same characteristics anymore. She’d ripped out the insides and turned it into a home with a bed, animal skulls decorating the walls, a working stove and lights powered by a generator in what was once the diner’s kitchen. Her windows were blacked out to avoid any passers-by noticing the place was occupied. Handmade bookshelves were stocked to the brim and a stack of journals rested on the top. It was apparent to Daryl that Jess liked her personalised, home comforts and she wasn’t about to let the end of the world change that. Her wooden-framed bed, which he assumed was brought in from a nearby house, was covered in animal furs and blankets and a thick rug covered the main living area, giving it a homely and warm feel.

Jess climbed onto the bed and held out a hand, gesturing to the other end of the mattress. Dutifully, Daryl accepted her wordless offer for him to make himself at home and sat down before handing her the pain meds. She ripped the bag open so quickly it reminded Daryl of some addicts he’d seen when he’d delivered their fixes for his brother. Only this was much more innocent and once she swallowed the medication, he instantly felt like he’d made a difference.

She gingerly pulled the hot water bottle towards her from beside him and placed it between her bent legs and her stomach as she leaned back against the pillows that she’d propped up behind her.

“Doc says you need to do some light exercise.” Daryl relayed.

“I will, once the pain subsides a little.” She replied shyly.

He could tell she was still quite disturbed from having to admit something so personal to him and guessed it was made worse when he’d showed up with help after refusing to let it go. But she was coming around, he could see it in the soft way she looked at him every now and then.

“Anythin’ else I can do?” He asked.

Jess didn’t know what to make of it all. She was skin crawlingly humiliated and wished she could turn back the clock and change the events of the last few hours, but at the same time, she wouldn’t have been able to witness the gallant efforts of Daryl and his quest to rid her of the pain she suffered. If it wasn’t confirmation that he cared about her more than he cared about anyone else, she didn’t know what was.

You’re a sweetheart under there, aren’t you?

“No.” She whispered. But really, she was trying to think of a way to ask him to stay. “Do you…?” She started “…Actually never mind.”

“Naw, what?”

“Was going to ask if you wanted to say with me. But I know you’re probably weirded out and that’s okay. So, forget it.” She said, waving her hand in the air as if she were literally brushing the idea out of the room.

“Don’t be stupid. Course I’ll stay.” He affirmed. Leaning across to her nightstand, he slid a pack of cards from the surface and held them up with a raised eyebrow. Jess smiled at him and gave him a small nod and they spent the next couple of hours playing poker. Jess thought herself to be quite the advanced player, but was put to shame when Daryl won every single game and told her that losing wasn’t an option when you grew up in bars and didn’t eat if you didn’t win your bets.

Jess couldn’t remember a time when she’d had more fun doing nothing of significance other than playing cards and laughing with someone that she credited with being one of the best people she’d ever met. She could have sat there for hours more, just reveling in him smiling, which was something he rarely did around anyone else but her. She noticed it on runs, during meetings, even when he was with Rick. His smiles were reserved for her and if she was his only reason to reveal such a side of him, then that was more than good enough for her.

Daryl didn’t want to leave but when he noticed the sun starting to go down through the one, unblocked window, he figured he’d best get back to the house and offer up at least some explanation for where he’d been for the past two days and one night. That was the problem with living in such a close-knit place, his housemates would only send out a search party if they thought him to be missing and that put lives in danger. It was tempting to check in, then head back to be with Jess, but he didn’t want to push his luck or outstayed his welcome. Being in her home was like jumping a huge hurdle and he realized he’d finally broken down her barrier and been let in not just to the building but to a higher level of their friendship that spoke volumes of her trust in him.

“You feelin’ better?” He asked while walking the path to the gate with her in tow.

“Yes. Thank you. For everything.” She replied. He stopped and turned back to her, pushing past the urge to wrap her in his arms, something he’d never wanted to do to anybody. “I’m kind of embarrassed.” She admitted.

“Don’t be. It’s just me.” He told her, lifting a hand and nudging at her elbow with the back of his fingers

She could have put it down to hormones, or said the moon phases made her crazy or blamed the painkillers, but she hugged him. A thoughtless and automatic hug that was perfectly executed. She slid her hands around his torso, feeling him tense slightly and breathe in sharply, but instead of overthinking it, she just rested her head on his chest.

It was what he wanted. He’d thought about it moments before. But when it actually happened it felt like…finally. A simple hug had never meant anything to Daryl, so much so that it wasn’t something that ever crossed his mind. He never hugged his family, or women he’d met, or anyone else before he found himself stood with Jess’s arms around him. Far from knowing what was an acceptable level of enthusiasm he gradually raised his hands, finding that they were trembling slightly and placed them lightly around her waist. Finally, able to breathe out his anxiety about being touched, he rested his chin on her head and felt her sway subtly with him in her grasp. It was, incontestably, one of the most meaningful few seconds of his life.

When she pulled back, she was happy to discover a certain lack of awkwardness between them. It was almost like a line had been crossed and it didn’t need to be overthought or clouded with too many questions. But Daryl did have one question.

“So, um… I get one of those every time I help ya out now?” He smiled.

“You get one any time you want.” She answered confidently. “Didn’t have you down as much of a hugger. Guess I took a risk on that”

“I ain’t a hugger” He confirmed. “Just seem to make a lot of exceptions… for you.”

“Then, I’m a lucky girl” She flashed him her best, flirtatious grin and could only dream that it meant he saw her the same way she did. When she let him through the gate, he glanced back at her twice before disappearing into the trees and she was left pondering if all close friends acted the way she and Daryl did. If it was normal to have many long, suspense laden silences and telling instances of eye contact. Or, was that all her imagination? She had no idea. But she knew in her heart that every time she set eyes on him, she loved him a little bit more.

--- tagging as requested ---

@lilred254 @woundmetender

#daryl dixon #daryl #the walking dead daryl #twd daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc #twd fanfiction

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around - Chapter 21

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 26/?

The noise beyond the infirmary door was Carol, who was deliberately making it known that her and Judith were waiting on the porch and didn’t want to barge in on anything. Jess went outside to greet her and in turn, spent a great deal of time giving her a run down of her version of events and an update on Daryl’s condition. She told her about him needing blood and her stepping up to provide it and also added that for now, she wanted to keep that minor detail from him. Her desire to play everything down and keep the dramatics at a low level was with Daryl in mind. The less there was to take in, the easier his recovery would be. They discussed his recovery and the changes that would need to be made, both of them admitting their reluctance to deal with his stubborn complaining. Eventually, Carol convinced an exhausted Jess to head to Aaron and Eric’s place and get some rest and food. Telling her she would sit with Daryl for a while and that Michonne would also be around when her guard shift finished, Jess agreed in the knowledge that he would have someone with him at all times but still had very little desire to leave his side.

From his bed, Daryl could see Jess through the window as she descended the stairs. He wondered when she would be back, not wanting her to spend her every waking moment by his bedside but being unable to deny that he was missing her being near to him already and it had only been 30 minutes since she left the room. He hated the fact that he seemed to be pining, something he thought only lovesick teenagers did. Since when was he so reliant on the presence of another person, let alone a female?

“Hey, you brought Lil’ asskicker” He announced when Carol finally entered the infirmary with Judith pinned to her hip.

“She misses you. She won’t settle for me or Rick much anymore. The only one she listens to is Carl” She said with an air of frustration. Judith was always more complaint with her Uncle Daryl over everyone else, a fact that he felt quietly smug about.

“That true kiddo? You actin up for ya ol’man and Carol?” He asked Judith who immediately decided she was going to act coy and hide in Carol’s shoulder. The change of scenery meant her shy side was activated and she wasn’t sure how to conduct herself when Uncle Daryl looked so different to usual. When Carol lifted her up and planted her on her lap, the child grabbed at Daryl’s hand and played with his fingers.

“How are you?” Carol asked.

“Gettin’ by.” He shrugged. The painkillers were still working their magic but he had done enough Oxy in his time to know that the feeling of contentment was nothing but a visage and soon, it would wear off.

“Jess said you wanted to come home” She mentioned.

“Damn right. Already hate being stuck in here. I know it's gonna be all ‘Don’t do this, drink this, go to sleep’, ain’t good with being told what to do.” He complained.

It was just how Carol expected him to be. It wasn’t in Daryl’s nature to be cooped up with a set of rules to follow. Nor was it like him to let anyone look after him when he was so used to looking out for himself. Her conversation with Jess made it clear that if she had an intention of playing nurse, Jess would soon quash them with her need to see him through his recovery herself. In a way, she was glad, Daryl could be a troublesome patient.

“I knew you’d be pretty mad about that. I got a run down from Jess. She said you’ll be fine with some time and rehabilitation. Sounds positive."

“Guess so. How you doin’ anyways?” He queried with an outright attempt to steer the topic away from himself. Judith was reciting ‘this little piggy’ as she pointed at Daryl’s fingers one by one, her muffle and badly enunciated speech melting into the background as she sang to herself.

“Fine.” She nodded. “Daryl what happened out there?”

There it was, the question he was waiting for. Carol wanted to hear his version for herself and he could have put money on her walking in and ordering him to relay the story from his perspective.

“Ain’t Rick or Jess told ya?” He asked with an exasperated sigh.

“Jess said you got shot trying to save her. Rick said you got shot trying to save Jess.” She relayed impatiently.

“Then that’s what happened.” He grumbled with a shrug

Carol leaned towards him and curled her fingers around his forearm.

“He could have killed you.” She pointed out.

“He was holdin’ a gun to her head, Carol!” He snapped “He was-he was talkin’ all sorts of shit ‘bout how she was a prize find. She just…she looked so fuckin’ scared. I wasn’t gonna let him hurt her. I had to do somethin’.”

Briefly, they both watched Judith, who had taken it upon herself to climb down from Carol’s lap and begin pulling books from a bookshelf. Carol paid her no mind, as long as she was quiet and safe, that was all that mattered. When she turned back to Daryl, he was regarding her with a wary expression.

“You took a bullet for her.” She stated directly. He could always rely on Carol to tell it like it was, no matter how much he didn’t want to hear it sometimes.

“Yeah n’ I’d do it again tomorrow.” Was his equally as clear response.

Carol slowly sat back and half smiled at him. Such a quick confession had come straight from his heart and it only proved what she’d thought all along and she wasn’t about to let it slide this time.

“Are you going to admit that you have feelings for her now?” She wanted to know.

She heard a low growl in his throat as he turned his head away and thudded it back on the pillow. She watched over him, noting the chewing of his lower lip and his shallow breathing. She knew that if she just waited, he would gift her with some kind of answer eventually.

“I don’t know what I feel.” He muttered as he turned back to her “This ain’t never happened to me before.”

She glanced over her shoulder at Judith once more before dragging her chair closer to him, leveling herself with his shoulder.

“Tell me” She coaxed.

Again, Daryl inflicted upon her a long and uncomfortable pause. Highly anxious about being asked such things, he wanted to get up and leave the room, but it was impossible and there was no escape. Accepting his fate, he resigned himself to his only option; surrender.

“She makes me crazy. When she looks at me I just-I ain’t me. I say stuff I would never say to nobody.”

“Like what?”

He shook his head and grumbled under his breath that he didn’t want to talk about it but Carol was not giving up that easily.

“Daryl, just tell me.” She ordered.

“After the party…” He bit his lower lip and sighed, the conflict raging in his mind. He needed another perspective, but at the same time was mortified and confused by the whole thing and felt it best to keep everything to himself. “…ugh, it don’t matter.”

“It does. Once you get this out and talk about it, you’ll feel better. I promise and I’ll never breathe a word to anybody. After everything we’ve been through, you know you can trust me”

Daryl had grown up not needing anyone for anything. He relied on no one but himself and where affairs of the heart were concerned, such rare occurrences were also dealt with alone or not dealt with at all. For the first time in his life, he felt as though he could have used some advice, or at least a listening ear that would take whatever he told her to the grave. She wouldn’t judge and wouldn’t poke fun at him, she wouldn’t get mad or laugh or make him feel like he should know better. It was Carol, his trusted friend and it was about time, after so much trauma that he afforded her the credit she deserved.

“Flirted with her” He mumbled under his breath.

“Well, this is new” she beamed “What did you say?”

“I ain’t tellin’ you that.” He scoffed. Full disclosure was not on the cards and some details needed to remain under wraps.

“Okay. Alright. That’s…that’s good, Daryl.”

“You’re just lovin’ this ain’t ya?” He mumbled.

“Little bit. Not going to lie.” she chuckled “How did she take it?”

“Good. I think. Dunno what got into me. I just kept thinkin’ ‘bout how she liked me before. Y’know, at the quarry? N’ sometimes, when we’re alone she gets all flustered n’ shit. Thought it was my imagination but I don’t think it is. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. Ain’t got a clue what I’m lookin’ for here.”

With a wider knowledge of hunting than women, Daryl was in uncharted territory. Dangerous waters that could spell the end of his friendship with Jess if it all went wrong. Like he was walking a tightrope, he had been struggling to find the exact, right words to say to her in case it all blew up and he lost her once more. His desire to dip a toe into the minefield of flirting was most definitely a risky one and he wasn’t even sure if his effort had paid off or if they would simply move forward with no mention of it ever again.

“A lot can happen in the months you were apart. But if you want my opinion, she didn’t want you to know who she was when we first got here because she still felt the same about you. You know what she put up with at the quarry and you weren’t in a position to acknowledge that you actually felt something for her. You couldn’t make it OK for her. She didn’t want to feel like she was being rejected again.” Carol explained. She always had a way of clearing things up and adding clarity to what would usually be jumbled up and frustrated thoughts in his head. Moreover, she was right, Jess had put up with a lot at the quarry and he wasn’t able to be there for her like he should have been. Her hidden identity was a defense mechanism. But did it really mean that she still felt something for him?

“I never meant to do that to her. I’d never hurt her.” He said. “The mornin’ we left for the run, she uh, she wanted to know why I flirted with her... straight up. I wasn’t expectin’ that. Asked me if I was drunk or, if it was the dress she was wearin’. Had no idea how I was s’posed to answer.”

Carol’s face had softened to a small smile that she was holding back a little. Her heart swelled with excitement and happiness for him. She’d wanted this for him for a long time after seeing how much of himself he’d given to keeping the rest of the group safe.

“Was it the dress?” she smirked

“No.”

“She did look good in it.” She pressed.

“Stop it.” He dismissed. She smirked at him again and nudged his arm

“Fine. Wasn’t just the dress.” He admitted. The dress had some sway, he had to admit that much. But the main push he needed to adopt a more flirtatious tone was her blushing around him, her reaction to his compliments and the same, niggling idea that she still liked him as more than a friend.

“Ha. I knew it.” She grinned. “So, what did you tell her?”

“Just that I was sober n’ it wasn’t the dress.”

“I see. Then I think that’s all you needed to say.” She surmised “This is great, Daryl. You deserve this. You deserve to be happy.”

“Don’t get all excited, ain’t nothin’ gonna happen.”

Judith, having covered the floor in books and deciding that none of them quite matched up to the wonders of the book about the dog that Uncle Daryl read to her, was now hanging around Carol’s legs and trying to climb back up onto her lap. She reached down and scooped up the child, who nestled into the crook of her arm and yawned.

“Are you happy?” Carol asked in a serious tone.

It was nowhere near the linear question that it presented itself as and as far back as he could remember, Daryl wasn’t sure if he could ever pinpoint a time when he was truly happy or if he even knew what happiness was. But Jess stirred something in him and he had a burning desire to be near her. When she smiled, he smiled. Her laugh was addictive and her sense of humor gelled well with his own. He liked how she was her own person and had become independent while still retaining the vulnerability that made him want to protect her. Was he completely happy? He couldn’t say. But there was one thing he was sure of.

“M’happy when I’m with her.”

~ ~ ~

Aaron was talking himself hoarse as Jess darted around his spare room, collecting clothes and ignoring his pleas for her to just stop and get some decent sleep. He promised to wake her, to go and get an update to be relayed upon her waking up and even offered to go to the fairground and get more of her clothes. But all of his kind offers were declined. As soon as Jess stepped foot on the grass verge outside the infirmary, she just wanted to turn back and return to her bedside vigil.

Racing down the stairs, Jess flung her backpack over her shoulder and reached out for the door handle. Aaron positioned himself in between her and her escape route, defiant and bordering on angry. He tugged the bag from her shoulder and dropped it by the door before placing his hands on her weary shoulders and steering her towards the kitchen. Jess didn’t have the energy to put up any kind of a fight and simply let Aaron guide her into another room, where there was spaghetti on the stove and the smell wafted through the room, tempting her stomach into a loud rumble.

Given the information that Eric was on Guard duty and Aaron would be alone for most of the night, Jess halfheartedly sank down onto a dining chair and pushed her food around the plate while re-visiting the events of the past few hours from the beginning in order to answer some of Aaron’s questions. When, on the timeline of events, she reached the real reason why she was so physically drained, she explained that she had been the one to donate blood to replace what Daryl had lost. Aaron expressed that it was a noble and selfless thing to do and that when she did decide to tell Daryl, he was sure he would be eternally grateful. Then. She fell silent and took a sip of her red wine.

“Jess?”

“Mm?” She hummed into her glass before she looked across the table at the kind man she now thought of as her friend.

“You’re supposed to eat that” He remarked with a nudge of his head towards her uneaten food. The steam it emitted when it was first placed on the table was now gone and Aaron was sure Jess was sitting in front of a stone cold plate of pasta.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t stop thinking…what if? Y’know?” She mused.

Aaron thudded his cutlery onto the wooden table and leaned forwards with his arms braced either side of his pasta bowl. From across the table, Jess peered at him sadly.

“Listen to me, ‘what if’ will drive you insane. ‘what if’ does not matter.” He said firmly “What matters is that he’s inside the walls, under the care of a doctor and he’s going to be fine.”

His words made perfect sense but the battle of wills between emotion and logic was a tricky one, especially when she was so tired her bones were weary and her thoughts were jumbled, like a hundred people all talking at once.

“He could have died. Because of me.” She whispered.

“Stop this!” Aaron cried, slamming a hand on the table and making her flinch with the noise. “Please, Jess. I don’t like seeing you like this. You are exhausted.”

“I just want to be with him.” He heard her say under her breath.

Rising to his feet, he rounded the table and dragged out the chair next to her. He settled sideways to enable him to see her face clearly and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Okay. Um, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to think about it before you answer me because it’s important.” He warned, noticing her side glance nervously at him.

“Okay.” She croaked.

“Are you in love with him?”

Jess began to reply without thinking, ignoring Aarons request and diving straight into her default response.

“Huh. No” She scoffed “I mean…I care about him. Sure. I think about him a lot so I’m going to care, right? Do I have loving feelings for him...? Yeah. I suppose I do. Do I love him?” She stared at the top of her wine glass where her finger was poised. Aaron could almost see the cogs turning in her head. She took her hand away from the glass and covered her mouth with it. “Oh my god” She breathed from behind it as her eyes lift to Aaron’s face. She gradually lowered her hand and it juddered in the air as she connected the dots.

“I-I’m in love with Daryl.” She uttered.

“I know, Jess. I know.” Aaron sighed.

~ ~ ~

Denise was as firm a doctor as she could be, having worked as a psychiatrist with many varied and difficult clients, she was well versed in the art of saying no and sticking to it. For three hours she had kept up her strong stance and maintained that if Daryl was to remain infection-free and on the mend, he must stay within the walls of the infirmary, where medications and equipment were at hand and she was a knock on a door away should she be needed.

But Daryl was intolerable when he had a bee in his bonnet and argued relentlessly until Denise could take no more and almost told Jess that she would pay her in shampoo and conditioner to take him away so she could get some peace. Finally getting his own way, Daryl accepted that he had to have twice daily check ins from the doctor and start physiotherapy as soon as his wound was properly healed. He was also told that he would need to agree to help from other people and that refraining from putting any pressure on his leg for two weeks would mean he needed constant help to move around.

It was late, the streets were dark and the night guard shift had commenced. Across the still and silent streets, Rick and Jess wheeled Daryl across the road on his infirmary bed and halted on the other side. Jess handed him some crutches and when Denise hovered nearby and asked if he needed a tutorial, he waved her off in annoyance and demanded that he could do it without any help. Jess was glad he’d been re-dosed with pain meds half an hour before, because the thought of the agony that came with him shuffling from the wheeled bed and onto the crutches with only one working leg made her wince.

It took him a while, but with grit and determination, a few choice swear words at everyone present who tried to encourage him and a lucky amount of upper body strength, Daryl successfully managed to get himself into the house and up the stairs. Halfway up the staircase, he tossed the crutches to the top and used his arms to hoist himself the rest of the way up, under the watchful eyes of Rick and Michonne. Jess, who was in the kitchen with Denise, decided she couldn’t watch anymore no matter how much shameless gawking she could do at his arms. Instead, she opted to be the one to go through Daryl’s recovery plan and medications with Denise and Carol.

Jess’s attention was soon caught by Michonne who descended the stairs and sighed loudly, shaking her head and vanishing into the living room. She was closely followed by Rick, who wandered into the kitchen and swapped places with Carol after she announced she was going to take his meds to him and make sure there was nothing in his room that he could trip over. Denise wished everyone luck, knowing they’d need it if the last three hours she’d endured was anything to go by, and abruptly left the house.

Rick perched on a stool at the kitchen island across from Jess while she squinted at the label on a bottle of wine, tempted to neck the entire thing even though she wasn't much of a drinker.

“He should have stayed where Denise could keep an eye on him.” He said wearily. “He’s such a pain in the a-”

“Oh, believe me, I am not expecting an easy time. Denise warned me that all he does is complain.” Jess conveyed, pushing her lips into a thin line. “If it’s OK with you, I was going to stay the night, so I’m here if he needs anything.”

Rick picked up a jug of orange juice from the space between them and poured himself a glass, downing the whole thing as Jess watched on, sliding the wine bottle back onto the counter and pushing it away.

“Of course, you can stay, but you don’t have to. We can handle him between us” He told her.

“I know. I want to.” She stated plainly.

He placed his glass on the counter top and studied her face. He still wore his gun holster at his waist and his brown, curled hair hung loosely over his forehead.

“This wasn’t your fault, Jess.” He assured her.

“It’s not about that” She shook her head before reaching over to the orange juice. Rick suddenly remembered his manners and poured her a glass of her own, pushing it across the marble to her. “I know he’s a miserable bastard right now, but I care about him.”

“Alright. Just don’t expect him to like the idea.” He smiled.

“I can handle Mr. Grumpy.” She chuckled.

“Yeah, you can probably deal with him better than I can,” he remarked, getting up and passing her. He paused to squeeze her shoulder “Are you ok? After what happened?”

“Mmhmm. Was pretty scary but it could have been a lot worse.” She mused.

“You did good, Jess. What you had to do, that was tough. We uh, we won’t talk about how you made the guy suffer first” he mentioned with a light pat on her shoulder.

Jess grinned and giggled slightly, feeling a hint of guilt for finding such a comment to be amusing considering it was referring to the man she’d murdered. “Thanks, sheriff.”

“I’ll get you some blankets and a pillow. Unless you’re um, going to sleep next to Daryl?” He asked tentatively.

“I’ll take some blankets. Thanks” She replied, opting for the less awkward option and telling herself that even though it was quite apparent that Rick had an idea there may be something more to her friendship with Daryl, she wasn’t about to encourage addressing the elephant in the room.

=-=-=-=-=-=

Climbing the stairs of the house which was commonly known across the town as the ‘Grimes Home’ due to it being occupied by the three remaining members of the Grimes family, Jess waddled from side to side, balancing precariously on each, shiny step with her arms full of blankets and pillows. Picture frames adorned the walls depicting a family that were no more, ghosts of a time that once was, before the turn and before the house became a haven for a new family. Jess watched their happy faces fade past her as she climbed the stairs, hoping that one day, someone would replace the photos with happy pictures of Judith and Carl.

Unsurprisingly, Daryl’s room was at the end of the hall, away from everyone else’s and when she reached the closed door she didn’t even bother to knock. It wasn’t like he’d be anywhere else but laid up on the bed with scowl on his face anyway. Bustling through the door and getting blankets caught around the handle, Jess quietly cursed to herself and entered the room, dropping her haul onto the end of the bed as lightly as she could.

It was a typical suburban teenagers’ room. The bookshelf was still stocked and the walls boasted the remnants of band posters. Daryl had done little to make the place his own, his crossbow rested on the dresser and his vest was thrown across the back of a chair. On the top of a chest of drawers was evidence of bolt carving and partially made fishing floats. Feathers, pieces of wood and tools littered the surface. These were the only elements in the room that told her that he lived there now.

“What are ya doin? What’s this?” Daryl’s voice startled her; she had expected him to be sleeping due to the number of painkillers he was on. But there he was, sitting up with the covers drawn up to his waist. He was wearing a black vest and his hair was tousled, as if he’d tried to sleep but had given up. He was scowling at her.

“Ugh, lord.” Jess scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “I hoped you’d be asleep so I could avoid all your whining.”

“I don’t sleep much. What’s goin’ on?” He enquired.

Accepting that she may well have a fight on her hands, Jess grabbed a pillow from the top of the pile and clutched it in both hands.

“I brought you an extra pillow and I’m staying with you tonight.” She told him, throwing the pillow at him. He battled it away before it hit him and he collected it from the mattress at his side, tucking it behind his shoulders and settling back against it.

“No. No ya ain’t.” He said firmly while pointing at her.

“You don’t have a say in this so don’t waste your breath.” Jess warned while the unfolded the blankets and began laying them on the floor next to the bed. Daryl’s hands rose before falling back to the bed in frustration.

“I’m fine, Jess!” He exclaimed. Jess whirled around with fire in her eyes.

“Daryl. Shut up!” she commanded “I’ll sleep on the floor in case you need anything”

“Don’t talk shit. Go home. I’ll be fine. Don’t exactly live alone” He continued.

Jess’s temper was beginning to rise but she bit her tongue and tried to remain composed and in control. He was so determined to be as independent as possible, that he would only end up doing himself more harm than good. Jess was aware of Daryl’s need to refrain from asking for or accepting any help, but this was an argument he was not going to win.

“Give it up. I’m staying.” She shrugged before sinking to the floor beside the bed and fluffing her pillow. "If you want me to leave, then you're going to have to kick me out yourself...and you can't do that right now."

It wasn’t that Daryl didn’t want her company. Under normal circumstances, he would have found a reason to be near her, to go on a run with her, to swing by Aaron and Eric’s in case she was there or he would deliberately cross over into her hunting territory. But having her see him incapacitated was not something he liked the idea of. Nevertheless, she had made it crystal clear that she was going nowhere and no matter how many irate sighs that escaped him or how many times she glowered at her, she was staying put.

“Fine. Stubborn ass woman.” He muttered.

She scanned the books on the shelf beside her, most of them teenage romance novels left from the previous occupants. It would do as something to pass the time and harked back to the many romance books she used to read as a teenager herself. In fact, whoever used the room before Daryl didn’t have such terrible taste in literature at all.

She selected a title referring to some kind of predictable and inevitable unity between a bad boy and a plain girl and figured it would make for some easy night-time reading. She didn’t know what time it was, just that it was late. The muffled footsteps of the rest of the house were padding about beyond the door on their way to bed and her body was almost as weary as it had been in the first few days of her setting out alone from the quarry.

Her eyes grazed over the first few words and her mind wandered. She was being watched and she could sense it without even looking up from the page. It was as plain as day that her temporary room mate was studying her from his spot up on the bed. She detected a small sigh, laced with the quietest of conflicted, raspy growls.

“Get up here” She heard him say.

“What?” She queried with both eyebrows raised innocently. Having no plans to move, and no intention of sleeping anywhere near him, confusion swept across her face and she slowly turned her head to see him peering at her with a mildly annoyed expression.

“If ya gonna stay at least sleep on a bed. There’s enough room for the both of us. Get up here” He ordered.

Jess hesitated. This was a new level of boundary pushing and one she wasn’t sure she was comfortable with. It would mean mere inches of space between them and a palpable silence for hours throughout the night during which time she was very likely to just lay there, mulling over the same thought.

I’m sharing a bed with Daryl.

“Are you sure? That’s not weird for you?” She asked.

“No. It ain’t. I’ma change my damn mind if ya keep askin’ questions” he complained.

The more she considered it, the more enticing the idea was. After all, it was a good opportunity to indulge a little in secret and after everything they’d been through, her having murdered someone and offering up her blood to aid Daryl’s recovery, she figured she’d earned it. As long as it wasn’t so strange that her insecurities and naturally awkward nature around a person so attractive forced her to ruin everything.

“OK, OK.” She agreed, attempting to sound as though it was more a chore than anything else. She got to her feet, kicked off her boots and lay back on top of the covers, dragging a blanket from the floor across her legs. Opening her book, she started to read from the first word again but her concentration was nowhere to be found. Her eyes looked over the words but nothing sank in. Before long, she sensed the familiar feeling of being watched, once more.

Daryl hated the idea of her putting herself out for him. Her staying with him was bad enough and if he was going to be forced to endure her seeing him in such a state, he just wanted her to feel restful and secure and as she read by his side, she undoubtedly was not either of those things. He rubbed at his face with one hand, wondering how he should proceed with coaxing her to relax a little more. Then, he noticed the pimpled texture of her skin. Goosepimples, she was cold.

“You’re cold, just get under the covers.” He suggested.

A rush of apprehension and nervousness settled in Jess’s stomach and for a moment, she thought that whatever the story line in her book depicted, her real-life situation was unraveling at an alarmingly more rapid rate.

Pity this doesn’t end like the book does.

“I’m fine, really.” She assured him with a small smile. But he refused to stop glaring at her and she wondered why. She was sure that she would have given just about anything to be able to hear his thoughts at that precise moment.

“Ya know I ain’t gonna touch ya or nothin’, right?” He expressed.

Jess dropped the book in her lap and gawped at him, her expression shocked and saddened. Why would he ever think that such a thing would cross her mind? There were plenty of people she could have expected such behavior from but Daryl was the safest and most protective person she could have been with in that moment and the fact that he’d even pondered something so ridiculous deeply concerned her.

“Why would you even say that?” She questioned at the same time as turning her body and laying on her side, now facing him completely to show that she was not afraid to address the huge issue he’d just brought up.

“Guess I don’t want ya to think I’m like that.” He reasoned. “I aint no asshole. Would never touch ya. Unless ya… wanted me to or somethin’. I dunno. Shit. Just-just forget I said anythin’.”

Good job, jackass. He thought. Stop fuckin’ talkin’.

Jess’s face dropped and her eyebrows knitted together in sympathy. It wasn’t something she could honestly say had ever crossed her mind. Not even once. She didn’t need to be told he wasn’t a creep, or entitled, or disrespectful towards her in the slightest. She just knew. The one thing that stunned her even more than the notion that he would ever touch her in that way, was the mention that he quite possibly would if she wanted him to. She had no idea what to make of such a statement and her hands began to fidget at the tricky subject matter. Was this true? There was the distinct possibility that the painkillers were playing a part in his loose tongue and she dared to hope that it was fueled by anything more than that.

“OK” She started with a deep breath “Listen to me.” As she spoke, she braved holding eye contact with him. The importance of her answer meant he had to know she was sincere. “I would never, ever think that of you. I feel safer with you than I do with anybody else. Of course, I know that you would never do that to me. I’m actually kinda sad that you felt the need to tell me that.”

Daryl was nibbling on his thumb, hiding his true expression behind his hand and searching his brain for a response that wouldn’t make the situation worse. He dropped his hand and looked down into his lap.

“Ain’t much trust associated with bein’ a Dixon.” He mentioned. “I never had a friend like you neither. ‘Specially female. They just tend to assume shit about guys like me.”

“Oh my god.” Jess groaned, sliding onto her back and down the bed until her head was on the pillow and her hands were covering her face. “You are breaking my heart here. Stop it!” She cried. Taking her hands away, she noted his nervous demeanor and wondered where the hell this was all coming from. It was highly unusual for Daryl to talk about something so personal, let alone be the one to bring it up. Sitting up again, she ran a hand through her hair and blew the loose side strands up into the air with an exhalation.

“I trust you. You believe me when I say that, don’t you?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“Then I don’t ever want you to bring this up again.”

“K” he grunted. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” She scoffed. Quiet fell around them with neither one knowing how to change the atmosphere to a more tolerable one. Jess thought humor may well have been the only way and so, opened her mouth without thinking.

“At least I know you would if I wanted you to. Lucky me.”

Daryl, who wasn’t expecting to have to deal directly with his revealing and potentially dangerous comment, did something he didn’t normally do. He panicked.

“I didn’t mean that I-well, well I did. I-I just-If ya wanted…Y’know what? Never mind.”

“Yeah, never mind” She echoed stiffly.

“It’s the Oxy. I don’t really know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout here. My head’s fucked.” He lied.

“It’s fine. Let’s just brush that one under the rug.” She offered, much to his relief at the escalating horror rising in his chest. As he quelled the uneasiness and irritation at himself, he noticed Jess wriggle under the top cover, leaving the barrier of a sheet between them. A decent compromise, he concluded.

She lay on her side again, this time with her book on the bed between them. Her fingers pulled up the pages, fanning the edges over and over and creating a light flickering sound.

“There is something I wanted to say to you” She murmured. “While we’re sharing.”

“What’s that?” He inquired, worried that he would be faced with yet another conversation that was going to make him squirm.

Jess’s eyes crept along his bare arm, lit by the flickering glow of two lanterns either side of the bed. He was inches from her face and she resisted the temptation to trace her fingertips along his skin, down over his bicep to his forearm. The thought almost made her drool and she turned her attention back to what she wanted to say.

“I’m glad you saved me and all. Thank you for that. But it’s time someone told you that you need to take care of you.” She said.

Daryl hesitated, taking in her words and trying to remember a time when there was ever anyone that openly cared as much about him as Jess did. He couldn’t think of anything, because there wasn’t one. No one had ever cared like she did and the feeling was unfamiliar and strange.

“I’m fine, Jess.” He mumbled.

She pulled herself further up, forcing him to turn his head and look her in the eye.

“No, you’re not. You have a gunshot wound that could have been a lot worse and furthermore, if you don’t take care of you, think of all the people around here that need you and won’t have you. Like Judith and Carl and…and me.” She explained.

The corner of his mouth curled up and she was surprised to find him smirking at her.

“Did you just say ‘furthermore’?” He questioned in amusement. "The fuck is that?"

“Forget it. Get yourself killed. See if I care.” She bit back. Dismayed by him making a joke of what was supposed to be a genuine plea for him to at least try and place some value on his own life.

“Alright. Sorry. I get it...” He backtracked after sensing her downtrodden reaction. “…I do. But I’d still take another bullet for you tomorrow.”

It was a declaration that Jess never anticipated to get from anyone, let alone the man she had fallen for. The insistence that he would indeed put himself in death's grasp to ensure her safety. Never before had she met someone so selfless and courageous and while she was touched and inwardly emotional at the thought, on the outside she sighed with exasperation and closed her eyes briefly.

“Daryyyyl” She groaned.

She opened her eyes when she felt him touch her hand. He covered her fingers with his own to garner attention and once he had it, he quickly moved away. Peering down at her and holding her gaze, he wanted her to see it from his perspective.

“Look me in the eye n’ tell you wouldn’t do the same.” He challenged.

It was an intense moment, charged with so many unsaid things that Daryl swallowed hard and pondered over what else he could say and blame on the Oxy. But without the knowledge that she would undeniably feel the same way about him, he was not going to risk losing what he deemed to be a rare and precious connection that he never thought he would be lucky enough to have.

“Only for you.” She whispered.

Because I love you.

Then, he knew she understood his motives and reasons for doing what he did. She cared just as much as he did but it didn’t mean he would ever let her take bullets for him or even experience so much as a scratch. To him, she was a person so valuable that the prospect of losing her didn’t bare thinking about.

“Think we have an understandin’.” He concluded.

“No. I don’t like this. I don’t want to not have you around” She argued.

“Good thing you’re hangin’ round here like a bad smell then, aint it?” He commented, trying to lighten the mood by poking fun at her.

Jess could only offer up a forced huff of amusement as she looked over at his nightstand which was now home to a pile of wound dressings. There it was again. The ‘what if’ train of thought that Aaron warned her would drive her crazy. What if he’d been killed? What if she had to carry on without him?

“Jess, I ain’t goin nowhere.” He said seriously. She looked up at him and he realized that her eyes were bloodshot. A single tear raced down her cheek and she sniffed and tried to force it away. He reached out and wiped the dampness away from under her eye with his thumb. Her cheek tingled and she very nearly said it. It was on the tip of her tongue, waiting to be freed. The six little words that would change everything. But her heart on her sleeve would only destroy it all.

I am in love with you.

“You’re tired. Go to sleep.” He cooed at her.

She nodded and snuggled down next to him. It was all she could do to hide her desire to just kiss him and explain it away afterwards. In the light of the lantern on the nightstand, he focused on her hand by his side and licked his lips as he toyed with the idea of holding it. He wondered what her reaction would be and decided to brave it, lacing his fingers with hers. She didn’t pull away and gently gripped onto him instead. After a few minutes, he thought her to be drifting off to sleep, but what he couldn’t see was that she was staring at her hand intertwined with his, a small smile on her face and a feeling of some kind of subtle triumph in her heart.

=-=-=-=-=

It was the birds that woke her. A sound she didn’t hear as much now the world was decaying. She didn’t know if it was food being scarce or migration, but there were fewer birds around than usual and so, their melodic chirping from the roof of the house was a pleasant and relaxing way to wake from what had been a deep slumber. Her eyes were heavy and her limbs felt like they were made from cement as her body slowly woke up. A soft, cushioned surface under her cheek warmed the side of her face and she snuggled against it, emitting a contented sigh.

It was a first for Daryl. He peered down at the sleepy form of Jess, nuzzled against his bare arm with a hand draped over his wrist and thought that he could maybe get used to it. Waking up next to a pretty girl sleeping on him was certainly a nicer way to start the day, if only his leg wasn’t screaming with pain. He inhaled slowly, forcing his mind away from the agony and focusing instead on Jess and her dark eyelashes and the subtle pink of her lips.

Jess wasn’t sure if she’d ever moved as fast in her entire life than she did when she opened her eyes and realized she’d been sleeping nestled onto Daryl’s arm. On the one hand, she was truly horrified and on the other, slightly smug that she’d managed to cop a feel, albeit unintentionally. She sprang up, blinked rapidly and crawled away from him, bringing her legs up and sitting back against the headboard.

“Oh, Uh. I’m sorry. I don't know how I ended up…there.” She stammered upon noticing he was awake.

“S’alright. Mornin’.” He greeted, aware of her discomfort and watching her run her hands through her hair and adjust her T-shirt. She glanced down at his arm where a fading, pink mark had occurred from her using him as a pillow.

“Did I, did I drool?” She asked.

“Nah. Ya snore though.” He said casually, biting his lower lip and stifling a grin.

“I do?! Oh my god. I’m so sorry, I-” She rambled.

“-I’m kidding.” He interrupted with a snort of laughter.

“Oh.” Was her grunted reply while she felt the panic in her chest begin to disappear.

Daryl lifted a hand and gently smoothed a thumb over the damp skin below her bottom lip, seeing her freeze and her eyes widen.

That’s the second time he’s touched me like that.

“Ya did drool. A little” he told her.

“Oh god” She groaned covering her rapidly reddening face with her hands. She could hear his gruff chuckle from beside her and hazarded lowering her hands. She was met with a wide grin, one that she would happily look at for the rest of her days. Something happened to him when he smiled. Maybe it was because it was rare and that it was only really her that he gifted with such a sight, but she thought that in those quick moments he looked genuinely happy and she could only hope that she was even a part of the reason why.

“Stop laughing.” She complained, playfully slapping at his hand. “Jerk.”

=-=-=-=-=

The ten days after Daryl gaining a hole in his leg and the feeling of being imprisoned behind the walls of Alexandria, his relationship with Jess remained the one thing that provided him with some means of escapism. Her kindness and devotion to his recovery only built up his feelings for her to a powerful level and he had become more sure than ever that if he ever got a sign that she saw him the same way, beyond any reasonable doubt, he would take the opportunity to act on his feelings.

But all he could do was hope and admire her while she ignored his requests for her to take some time out and look after herself. She brought him food, administered his meds and helped him to and from the bathroom when Carol and Carl were not around. Jess’s absence during the mornings was noticed by Deanna, who quickly tasked Michonne with security cover and compiled a hunting team from the other residents to ensure that food didn’t become an issue. Rick was determined to find the rest of the group that Daryl’s assailant was from and along with Glenn and a couple of the others, had been away for days, scouring the woods and abandoned buildings for anything that would lead them to discovering how much risk such a group posed.

For four nights Jess slept by Daryl’s side, careful not to end up drooling on his arm again. Her days were spent playing cards with him and discussing a wide range of topics, some of which Daryl wasn’t even aware he had an opinion on. But Jess had a knack for that; revealing things about him that he would never have previously discovered himself. It took some adjusting to let her take care of him, but she brought the best out in him and despite his sometimes low and snappy mood at being trapped in the house, he was never rude or ungrateful to her.

Denise checked in regularly and gave Daryl the all clear for any infections in his gunshot wound. Her next step was to enlist everyone to persuade him that he needed to take it easy and practice some physiotherapy to aid his recovery. Believing that he just needed to be allowed outside to carry on doing what he always did, Daryl did nothing but complain about being useless sitting around all day.

When Jess was sleeping or out of the house for some reason, Carol tried her best to ease him into the idea of doing just a few of the exercises in the book that Denise had left him. Every time, she was met with a gruff dismissal, usually coupled with a cuss laden mumbling about how it wasn’t going to work anyway.

One evening, when Jess had finished up a meal kindly cooked for her by Aaron and Eric, who were consistent in offering her their spare room, use of the shower and many meals since Daryl had been shot, she arrived at the Grimes home to find a grumpy looking Daryl perched on the edge of his bed wearing black sweatpants and a sleeveless, black button down on which he’d neglected to fasten the top two buttons. Jess rolled her eyes. Sometimes, she thought he could hear the thoughts that traveled through her head and liked to play on the fact that she couldn’t look at him without going weak at the knees.

“Carol said you refused to do your physio.” She said, dropping her bag in the corner of the room and sliding a physiotherapy book from the dresser. “Your leg will seize up if you don’t and you’ll be hopping around like a cripple for a hell of a lot longer than you would if you’d just humor us and do as your fucking told.”

It was a new thing he’d discovered about her. She didn’t suffer fools and quickly became stern with him if he dared to argue with her about anything to do with his recovery. He could tell she genuinely cared and as a result, she would shoot him down and put him in his place without so much as a blink. He couldn’t deny that a part of him liked her pushy nature when she was tested and he would have gone as far as to say he’d met his match.

“Fine” He grumbled. “But this ain’t gonna do nothin’.”

She moved closer to him, offering him her arm to help him stand. He accepted it and she eased him to his feet. He was able to apply a certain amount of weight on his injured leg which was a good start and Jess was sure that the more he complied and just listened to Denise’s advice, the quicker he would be back to his normal self.

“It will, that’s what it says in the book.” She countered.

“Fuck the book.” He snapped.

“For god sakes, Daryl! Stop acting like a damn kid and just do it!” She cried, tugging on his arm and guiding him over to the wall. He hobbled along beside her and risked a couple of glances at her face. Her jaw was pulled tight in annoyance and he knew that she was likely to get pretty mad at him if he didn’t give in.

Allowing her to help him balance on his good leg and hold onto the wall, she talked him through quadriceps stretches as per the instructions in the book and stood close by, with her hands hovering around him in case he lost his footing while he put it into practice.

“OK, good. That’s good. A little higher. Great.” She encouraged.

Obviously in pain, he grit his teeth and Jess could see sweat emerging on his forehead. Once he’d completed one exercise, she helped him through the rest, sometimes having to take his weight or help him to the floor and up again. He very reluctantly accepted her aid and tried to ignore the warmth of her body against his and had no idea that she was thinking the exact same thing. She counted him through each movement and when she tried to let go of his hand once he was sitting safely back on the bed. He held onto her and stared at her.

“Ya ain’t gotta do this with me.” He said.

Jess sank down onto the bed beside him, squeezed his hand slightly and let go.

“I knew you’d start this at some point. I’m not going anywhere. I know you, you won’t do your physiotherapy otherwise” She explained.

“Look, just get Carol to rat me out if I don’t. You don’t need to be here everyday” He told her.

Her heart fluttered with a flicker of sadness. She shoved away the notion that he was sick of the sight of her away and told herself that she was assuming the worst without having the facts. She smiled slightly and held his gaze. Despite his injury, she liked seeing him in this environment. In his room, in his sweatpants and not covered in dirt and toting a crossbow for a change. Not many people got to see him like that and she was grateful that he trusted her enough to let her be there for him.

“Do you want me to leave?” She asked.

“Naw. Not at all. Just don’t want ya wastin’ ya time stuck here with me every day” He expressed.

Glad that she’d not reacted too hastily, Jess nodded and brushed a few strands of hair from in front of his eye. She liked his eyes and being able to see them had revealed a lot more about him over the course of the two weeks she’d been spending so much time with him. More than anything, she’d learned that he said so much with his eyes without having to actually say any words at all.

“Time enjoyed is not time wasted.” She smiled.

“Enjoyed? Tryin’ to tell me you enjoy this? I wasn’t born yesterday, Jess.” He protested.

“I enjoy your company, you grouchy bastard” She replied, leaning towards him and nudging his shoulder with hers.

He gave her a thoughtful smile, his eyes scanning her features until she retrieved a small towel from the bed behind him and wiped his sweaty brow for him. He briefly closed his eyes and simply enjoyed having her tend to him, thinking that if someone was to explain to him two years back that he would be so taken in by the pretty nerd he’d met in a quarry at the end of the world and for the first time would have feelings that went way beyond friendship, he would have laughed in their face.

“Thanks” he mumbled quietly.

“I’ll put it on the tab.” She commented.

“Tab?”

“Your ‘reasons I have to be nice to Jess’ tab.”

“C’mon, like I need reasons.” He admitted. He didn’t, being nice to her was as natural as breathing. She didn’t grate on him like most people did, she didn’t make him feel suffocated or cast out or like he just didn’t belong. When he was with her, he did belong and he was sure that she belonged right by his side too. If it was as a friend or anything more, he was going to leave it up to her. “This one of the things about you I didn’t know?”

She felt a spark of excitement when she put two and two together and realized that he was referring to the flirtatious exchange they’d had after the party. The exchange she still hadn’t managed to get any clear answers about. It wasn’t like it wasn’t on her mind. It niggled away every time she saw him. She’d struggled to find the right moment to ask and, in the end, had admitted defeat and opted to leave the whole thing alone.

“What does that mean?” She wanted to know.

“Nurse Jess” he smirked.

“Maybe. But I don’t just do this for anyone.” She conveyed. As a naturally caring person, Jess was known among the few people that made up her small tribe of friends, as the one that would bend over backwards to make sure the people that she loved were okay. Some tried to take advantage of her kindness and that was when her efforts could only be pushed so far before she cut them off altogether. It was true, she didn’t do it for just anyone and in their present situation, Daryl was one of very, very few people that she would happily give up her routine and solitary life for.

“Then I guess that makes me pretty honored” he said.

“C’mon, all you do is complain about ‘Nurse Jess’.” She reminded him, part of her message being in jest and the rest of it being the truth as she saw it.

“Nah, m’complainin’ bout the situation.” He corrected very deliberately.

“Oh, glad you clarified that.”

What preceded a long pause was another big risk from Daryl. He had no idea why he had the urge to toe the line of flirtatious exchanges. Maybe it was the way her cheeks flushed pink or the shy giggle she couldn’t help. Or, maybe it was the temptation to tell her how he felt and the idea that she could possibly feel the same. He had no idea, but he pressed ahead anyway, confident in the fact that he wasn’t being obvious enough that his comments couldn’t be explained in a more platonic way, should he need to.

“Not sure nurses are s’posed to sleep in their patient’s beds” He said out of nowhere.

Jess was busying herself folding the towel in her lap and she paused and stared down at the carpet when she heard his remark.

“Yeah? File a complaint.” She shrugged with one shoulder and the smallest, yet still detectable of smiles.

“Nah” He grunted “That’s one thing I ain’t gonna complain ‘bout.”

She glanced up at him hesitantly, finding the most gorgeous of suggestive smiles waiting for her and she was sure she was melting.

“Right.” she whispered. Then, there it was, that small giggle that he wanted to see. “Okay.”

I ain’t ever gonna get tired of that.

=-=-=-=-=

A coldness on the side of her head was a much more unpleasant way to begin the day than with the singing of the birds beside Daryl in his bed. In her fairground home, she sat up and wiped a hand over the damp mass in her hair. Then, a single drop on her forehead made her jump and she craned her neck upwards, examining the ceiling and noticing a rotting and saturated mass of paintwork right above her. It was raining all night. Dragging herself out of bed, she dressed and checked her reflection in the mirror, something she now did every morning without fail. Her appearance was becoming more important to her since she’d grown a lot closer to Daryl and the odd glance in the mirror gave her the confidence to know that he wasn’t talking to a hot mess every day when she accompanied him on the morning hunt. It was a compromise they’d made with Deanna. Jess would chaperone Daryl on the hunt until his leg was fully healed and Daryl could get outside the walls and stop snapping at everyone like a tiger in a cage. Jess had also started wearing her hair down more often, knowing that Daryl could rarely resist the temptation to tenderly move it from her vision if it blew in the breeze and each time he did, it was like a fix from a drug that she was more than happy to submit to. It was the little things to her. The way he rolled his eyes when she called him ‘stinky’ and the way he huffed bashfully every single time she was feeling bold enough to call him ‘handsome’.

When she arrived in Alexandria, she headed straight for Deanna’s place and asked if she could have some roof tiles to fix the leak in her ceiling. Deanna immediately agreed and refused any kind of payment, telling jess in no uncertain terms that she wouldn’t have such issues if she were to just move inside the walls. She was even offered the corner house which was unoccupied and big enough for at least six people to live there comfortably. Jess declined once again, expressing that she’d feel like a fart in an oil drum in that huge house and that the fairground was more comfortable.

Upon collection of her tiles from the garage that housed building materials and tools, Jess set off with a ladder under her arm and headed for the gate. The sky was threatening more rain, its heavy, gray cloud becoming more ominous by the second and the wind gaining momentum. She could detect the faint rumble of thunder in the distance. There was no doubt that she had to get the roof fixed before the whole thing collapsed and she had to move into the oil drum after all.

Daryl was ambling along the street smoking the last of a cigarette when she crossed his path without even noticing him.

“Hey” he called out “That don’t look like huntin’ stuff.”

She stopped walking as he neared her and looked down at her gloved hand and the two tiles she held.

“Oh, No. I have a hole in my roof. I just need to repair it and I’ll come back and we can go.” She explained.

Although he could walk, he was limited to certain distances and still displayed a limp, much to his annoyance. Denise explained that the damage to the muscle and tissue in his leg meant he would need time and patience to get it back to full working order with no pain. He was getting there, Jess knew that much, but the progress was nowhere near as quick as he wanted it to be.

“I’ll give ya a hand. Shouldn’t be goin’ up on the roof out there by yaself.” He decided, taking the tiles from her.

“You can’t go up a ladder.” She mentioned.

“Sure I can, I’ll be fine.”

“No, Daryl.” She said, snatching the tiles back from his grasp. “If you want to help you can hold it still and make sure I don’t break my neck in this wind.”

Not giving him time to quarrel with her about it, she surged on with Daryl in tow, thanking the gate guard and marching through the woods to her home.

=-=-=-=-=

By the time Jess reached the roof of the diner. The wind was howling through the trees and lashing at her, sending drops of rain and leaves flying at her like she was in a wind tunnel. Her hands gripped onto the end of the ladder, turning her knuckles white while she solidified her balance on the top rung. From inside her coat, she tugged out a tile having kept the other one safely on the ground as a spare in case she discovered more holes in the roof.

She wobbled in the wind while leaning over and attempting to slide the tile into place. It was a perfect fit and Jess was glad of it. But the remnants of the previous tile meant the hole needed to be cleared of shards before the new one could be slotted into place. She worked as quickly as she could, throwing bits of broken tile onto the grass below.

“Just switch up with me, won’t take long.” Daryl called up to her.

“No!” She shouted back, over her shoulder.

“Shit, Jess. Were ya always this stubborn?” He asked.

“Pot calling the kettle back, stinky! Now, shut up and let me work!”

“Stinky. Bad books. Right.” He muttered to himself.

Finally able to fit the tile, she wiggled it into the square space, tapping the edge and feeling it secure just as a powerful gust of wind overpowered her at the top of the ladder and caused her to lose her footing. She grappled for the ladders handle and missed as the roof shot up in front of her and a searing pain engulfed the right side of her ribs. Before she could make any kind of noise, she’d accepted her fate. She was falling and was likely to be injured if the burning across her ribs was anything to go by. Towards the end of the ladder, her right leg looped through one of the gaps as Daryl managed to grab a hold of her before she hit the floor.

His strong arms wrapped around her waist, bunching up her jacket and thick, armored vest. It occurred to her that she still hadn’t hit the floor and that Daryl had caught her mid-air. He was humming instructions in her ear but none of them were registering as adrenaline thundered through her body. Her hands shook and her knees were trembling as he hoisted her up with all his might and told her to pull her leg out of the ladder. She didn’t hear him but managed to figure out what she needed to do regardless. Her leg dislodged easily and when her feet hit the floor, she almost buckled and ended up crumpled on the grass. If it wasn’t for Daryl, who had spun her around to face him but was still clinging to her waist while she caught her breath, she would have been face-down in the middle of the fairground.

“Y’alright?! Ya hurt?” He fretted, still keeping his hands where they were, on her bare skin under her top.

“No, just a-just a scrape I think.” She breathed.

“Where? Show me.” He demanded, looking down at her. It wasn’t until he tried to step back that it dawned on Jess that she was gripping his forearms like her life depended on it.

“M-my ribs, where I slipped. The handle, up there. It’s probably just bruised. It’s-it’s fine” she tried to break away from him, but he held on firmly.

“Naw, hold up. Ya tremblin’.” He told her.

For some reason, her mind went straight to his injury and she began to worry about the fact that he’d been standing on it for so long and had also had to endure holding her weight on it after catching her.

“But your-your leg.” She stammered.

“Doesn’t hurt. Can’t even feel it.” He lied “take a breath.” They locked eyes and his hands slowly moved down to her hips. Sensing she would scurry away like a frightened animal if he were to let go, he softened his voice and loosened his grip slightly. “Show me where ya hurt.”

“No. There’s no need.” She quickly answered.

The wind blew about her face and the chill it brought with it was beginning to bite. Her side was stinging, aggravated further by the cold. Daryl, who was wearing a leather biker jacket under his usual vest, had dressed for the weather, but Jess had failed to do so, believing that her regular clothing would suffice and not anticipating a storm to be rolling in.

“There is, coulda cracked a rib. Just let me feel for any breaks. I spent my childhood dealin’ with broken bones n’ I had a hell of a lot of fights in my time. I know what I’m lookin’ for.”

“I know you do. I just… don’t want to.” She confessed.

Then, the penny dropped and so did his hands. It was suddenly very clear why she was so averse to letting him check her for any injuries. She was nervous about showing him anything under her clothing. He watched her vision drop to the floor and nodded to himself. It all made sense now.

“Do you trust me, or not? Because one minute you’re sleepin’ in my bed n’ the next, ya won’t let me check ya to make sure ya aint hurt.” He stated

She looked up at him with big, pleading eyes, full of worry that she’d offended him and also that she’d have to explain what was going on in her head. That her insecurities didn’t just drop off with her weight loss. That she still didn’t like what she saw when she looked in the mirror. That she was deeply in love with him and didn’t want him to think her disgusting or ugly. But she did trust him and knew he cared.

“I do. I do trust you.” She assured him.

“Then let me take a look. It’s just me. S’alright.” he soothed

When the wind blew her hair across her face, he brushed it aside for her, taking a split second to ghost his thumb over her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat and it was then that she accepted that if she was going to trust anyone with this, it should be him.

She gingerly lifted the hem of her vest, drawing it up to just under her bra. He leaned down and she observed his eyes sweep over her skin, squinting slightly which indicated that there was, in fact, something to look at. Her eyes bulged when he went to place his fingers over her ribs and she jolted away. Closing her eyes and sighing.

“I’m sorry. Go ahead. I’m just not used to being touched.” She admitted.

“Yeah, me neither” he mumbled. “It won’t take a sec”

She nodded and felt her entire body tingle with electricity when he began to gently feel over her ribs, pressing at each one and frowning.

“Shit” he hissed, tracing his fingertips over the large red patch on her ribs. She flinched and held her breath. He applied light pressure along the mark “this hurt?”

“A little” she croaked.

“Your chest or back hurt?”

“No”

He placed his whole hand against her skin and her attempt not to react paid off. The warmth of his palm was a welcome relief from the cold that was licking at her skin from the wind. Daryl positioned his other hand on her shoulder

“Twist ya body, towards me. Breathe in” He instructed. She complied with complaint, having faith that he knew what he was looking for and from what she could tell so far, it certainly wasn’t his first brush with potentially broken ribs. The thought was a sad one when she thought about why a person would have such knowledge through experience alone.

“K. Now breathe out. Any pain?”

“Not much”

“It ain’t broken, gonna have a big bruise though.” He warned, dropping his hand from her shoulder but leaving his palm flush with her ribs, only unintentionally dropping it an inch or so. Her eyes nervously found his staring right back at her and he swallowed hard. She was showing him all kinds of firsts without having a clue about any of it. Having never felt anything for a female before, the intensity of the tension between them was stifling to him. Standing there with her, with his hand on her smooth skin and lost in the uneasy beauty of her eyes, for the first time, he wanted to kiss her more than anything. His gaze dropped to her lips and in the back of his mind he wished that his knowledge of how to deal with his feelings for the pretty nerd reached as far as his knowledge of broken ribs did. He wanted to, but he didn’t. He’d already told her he couldn’t lose her again and one kiss could ruin everything.

“Thank you.” She breathed, breaking the atmosphere and moving back. The contact was broken and Jess tugged her top down. “Is your leg OK?”

“Forgot all ‘bout it” he admitted. Her beautiful, soft skin had distracted him away from the discomfort and it wasn’t something he was likely to forget any time soon.

=-=-=-=-=

Two nights had passed since Jess had faced Daryl’s warm and not altogether uninviting touch. He was right about her rib; it wasn’t broken but it was bruised enough to render her as useless as a chocolate teapot for a couple of days, during which she spent time awkwardly trying to avoid having to discuss what had happened at the fairground with Daryl by avoiding him altogether and playing board games with Abraham while he drowned himself in whiskey on Aaron and Eric’s front porch.

Her avoidance of Daryl hadn’t gone unnoticed but far from being angered by it, he understood that whatever had transpired between them both was complicated and he needed time to process it. He couldn’t be sure that Jess felt the same, or if she even felt anything at all, but he’d been pushed to the brink of an act that was so out of character he felt like she was changing every part of him without even trying.

But being away from her wasn’t an option for too long and eventually, he found himself wandering the town in the dark on the way to Aaron and Eric’s, the now mild pain in his leg humming just enough for him to notice, but being more of an irritation than anything else. As he rounded the corner from the main street, Abraham breezed past him in a cloud of alcohol and slapped him on the back, bidding him a good night in a slurred sentence that was barely comprehensible.

Jess was swaying on the porch swing, reading the book she’d started in Daryl’s room the first night she stayed with him. He climbed the stairs and noted the two whiskey glasses and a bottle on the table. The rapid and unusual change in the weather from a storm to humidity and warmth past dark meant that Jess had taken off her camo pants and wore a pair of shorts and a tight tank top. For the first time, Daryl was able to see how much her body had changed and had to make a marked effort to drag his eyes away from her. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders.

Damn, girl. No wonder Abe spent the evening here.

Hearing his footsteps on the decking, she glanced up and closed her book. Daryl wasn’t the only one that had been mulling over the fairground incident at every given opportunity. What he didn’t know, was that she felt it too, only she had no idea what was going on in his head at the time. It was the closest she’d ever come to making a move on him but the physical contact with no barrier made things difficult and brought her insecurities to the surface. Guessing his stance on any of it was nigh on impossible. All she had to go on was that she was in love with her best friend, who, she couldn’t only assume, simply liked to watch her blush every now and then with a flirty comment.

“You two drinkin’ together now?”

Her back prickled at the sound of what could have been seen as yet more jealousy concerning the friendship that had blossomed between her and Abraham. Or, was it simply an observation? She wished he was easier to read.

“Why do you ask?” She tried.

He didn’t know the answer himself. Just that his blood boiled whenever Abraham touched her, or joked with her, or made her laugh so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes. He hated the way she sometimes gravitated towards him and refused to ask him to stop making suggestive comments towards her. He hated that she was so comfortable with Abraham, yet with him, she was completely different.

“Curious I guess.” Was all he had to offer.

“Right. To answer your question, he drinks and I scold him for it” She informed him as she slid the book onto the table and patted the swings cushion at her side. Daryl took his cue and sat down beside her, enjoying the rhythmic and soothing rocking of the swing.

“So, you got friends here now?” He questioned. She was different to when she’d first revealed her identity. She was more open to conversation, to teaming up for runs and actually turned up to a party. She was changing and he was seeing more and more of the old Jess peeking through. Her guard was lowering and he wanted to know if it was going to stay down.

“I’m coming around to the idea.” She mentioned breezily “You make it a little difficult to stay so stubborn.”

She shifted and bent one leg, tucking her left foot under her right thigh and draping her arm over her bent knee. She was now facing him with one foot on the floor that was controlling the speed of which the swing swayed.

“Me?” He questioned.

“Yeah, you. You’re my favorite.” She smiled.

He grunted and almost commented that actually, it seemed like Abraham was her favorite.

Jess got up and moved to the edge of the porch, gazing up to the stars and stretching her arms above her head. Through his hair, he allowed himself a peep of the appealing curves of her waist and hips. A conflict raged inside him.

Don’t be an asshole. You shouldn’t be lookin’ at her like this. But hot fuckin’ damn, she cleans up real good.

Jess was busy, wrapped up in her own thoughts for a long time while Daryl watched her every move and bit down on his lower lip.

“I could take you to my boat.” She hummed up to the sky before looking over her shoulder at him. When her eyes met his, he flinched out of his guilty but highly enjoyable daydream.

“Um…Ya boat?” He queried.

She turned and glided back to him, standing over him and gracing him with her shiny lips curved into a playful smile.

“I lived there for a while before I found the fairground. I still go there sometimes, when it’s not too cold. You’d like it. Far away from everyone…. Just you and me. You interested?” She wasn’t intending for it to sound like she was presenting him with an offer laced with sexual tension, it had merely transpired that way and she’d done nothing to rectify it. When his reaction wasn’t one of pure horror, she figured that maybe, just maybe, she could play him at his own game.

Daryl was enthralled and was gawping up at her with his mouth open. He slowly raised one eyebrow.

“Hell yeah, I’m interested.”

----- tagged as requested ----

@lilred254 @woundmetender

#daryl dixon #the walking dead daryl #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc #twd daryl #daryl #twd fanfiction

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txladyj-blog · 5 years ago

Text

This Time Around Chapter - 20

A Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx by request of @txladyj-blog

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Chapters 25/?

The next morning brought with it the promise of rain and a mist that had descended over the woodland surrounding Alexandria that made it both hard to track and see anything in the distance. Jess exercised her morning hunt and Walker elimination with extreme caution, although the party the night before had attracted unwanted attention from the undead due to the humdrum of noise and light from Deanna’s house. The numbers of animals were still thinning and she found a need to expand the area she usually covered.

With her mask and hood equipped, she decided to check Enid’s usual spot for any signs of life before she headed further out into the woods. Eventually, she found her conscientiousness paid off when she came across the girl where she was normally sitting, in a hollowed-out tree that doubled up as an ideal hiding spot from Walkers. She was reading and her head snapped up unexpectedly when she was stirred by the sound of Jess cracking a twig beneath her boot. A rookie error when in stealth mode.

Enid quickly began to shove her book back into her backpack and scramble to her feet, using the trunk of the tree for stability. Jess held out her hands to halt her.

“Woah, it’s OK. It’s just me.” She said.

Enid regarded her with suspicion and began to loop her arms back through the backpacks handles, soon settling it just below her shoulder blades. She took an obvious step forwards, but then changed her mind and retreated back to the hollow of the tree.

“I-I was just heading back.” She stammered.

“No, you weren’t.” Jess countered “But it’s okay. You know you can stay within the boundaries we talked about. You’re fine here.”

Enid was partially hiding behind a curtain of long, brown hair and kept her head low, as if she was afraid of someone being able to see who she was, what she was thinking and what she was all about like she wore it across her forehead. Jess could relate.

“It’s not about the boundaries.” Jess stated knowingly with a small nod. “You want to be left alone.”

She didn’t need a reply or a confirmation either way, it was written all over what she could see of the girl’s face. Being outside helped her to feel something. Anything. It made her feel alive. The walls were imposing and prison like, boxing her in and making her complacent when she thought about the world outside.

“I get it. Stay. If you want. This side is clear of Walkers so you’re safe enough. For now.” Jess informed her. “Just, don’t stay out here too long. I’ll be around so I’ll check on you in thirty minutes or so.”

Jess, having laid down the law and done her parenting duties for the day, turned on her heel and set off for the hunt. She was reasonably satisfied that Enid would be safe enough until she returned. After all, the girl was probably out there more than she was when she really thought about it.

“Parker?” Came a small voice from behind her, cutting through the air like a songbird, soft and innocent.

Jess stopped and turned around blinking with the realization that Enid was quite possibly the only one that didn’t know her real name yet. Her absence at the party meant she’d missed the drama and revelations. Jess gently flipped her hood back and nuzzled out of her mask, seeing Enid’s eyes widen slightly.

“Please, call me Jess. Parker is my brother’s name.” She smiled

Enid moved closer, shrugging her black backpack further onto her shoulder. She studied Jess’s features and scanned the rest of her while she had her locked in her sights.

“Why lie about your name?” She asked.

“Same reason you like to come out here and read, all alone.” She answered confidently “Anonymity. Privacy. Peace.”

The young girl seemed to understand and nodded with a small smile. Nothing else needed to be said when there was a mutual comprehension between them both. Jess had been keeping an eye on Enid for as long as she'd lived at the fairground. She needed the freedom of being able to leave for her own sanity and she also had no one behind the walls to tell her otherwise. She spoke to Aaron, who cast a watchful eye over her when he could, but on the outside, Jess made sure she came to no harm. They rarely spoke and when they did it was only when necessary and Enid was grateful for that. In fact, the extent of her gratitude reached further than Jess thought. She inched closer and quickly looked around at their surroundings, Jess remained in place.

“Right. I just wanted to say thanks. For looking out for me.” Enid said sincerely.

Jess was rooted to the spot when the girl loosely wrapped her arms around her middle in a feeble, fleeting but meaningful hug. She found herself smiling as Enid stepped back and a genuine grin was exchanged between them before Enid head off in the direction of the gate.

Jess decided to wait until The girl was out of sight, something in her gut told her there was a reason for her lingering until she’d gone. It was proved right when she saw another figure emerge from between the trees from the other direction.

Shards of light from the sun beaming between the leaves illuminated Carl’s Sheriffs hat and Jess sighed to herself. She should have known that where Enid was, Carl wouldn’t be that far behind, despite her earlier warnings for him to stay inside the walls.

She wasn’t surprised when he stopped moving upon noticing her presence, his shoulders sagged and he offered her a strained smile that told her; ‘Alright, you caught me.’ Jess marched towards him and motioned to a couple of tree stumps to her right. Trees were cut down occasionally to allow for the community to make fires for cooking and warmth, thus saving the generators for as long as possible. He plonked down onto the stump, readying himself for what was expected to be a long lecture about following Enid over the walls.

“What did I tell you, Carl?” Jess started.

His defenses went up and he turned to her, his eyebrows knitting together and his face changing to an expression of desperation.

“She’s alone out here! I can’t just leave her!” He cried.

Jess held her gloved hands up to quieten him. Sensing that her intentions were not solely to scold him, he immediately backed down and she gave him a sympathetic smile.

“I knew she was here. I just spoke to her. She’s gone back over the wall now.” She explained “You’re the one that was alone. You need to be more careful, Carl. Stop following her out here or I’ll have to tell your dad.”

Yes, it was a threat but it was only delivered out of necessity and Jess had faith that Carl would heed her advice, meaning that she wouldn’t have to follow through and inform Rick of his son’s venturing into the woods in pursuit of a girl. What’s more, she hoped she wouldn’t have to explain her knowledge of it for the past few weeks and why she never spoke up in the first place.

“You wouldn’t.” Carl challenged.

“Wouldn’t I?” She smirked in response.

Don’t test me, kid.

“Uggh, don’t be a snitch” He groaned “I just get worried about her, okay?”

“I know you’re worried about her. That’s what happens when you care about someone. But you have to look after yourself too. You have a Family that love you and don’t want to lose you.”

If she had to be honest, she couldn’t say that if she was Carl’s age and in his situation that she wouldn’t have done the same. But Carl was precious, not just to Rick but to the whole group and the community having to come to terms with such a loss didn’t bear thinking about.

“I know. You’re right.” He conceded.

It was the perfect opportunity to bring up the topic of discussion between her and Daryl in the abandoned house. Jess took a few moments to decide which angle to approach it from and shifted her body to face Carl.

“Daryl told me you were asking him what you need to do to be good to Enid.” She said. “You already know this, in your heart. But I guess a little more advice wouldn’t hurt.”

Carl shrugged a shoulder up, if he was anywhere near embarrassed, he wasn’t showing it.

“Yeah, Daryl said to ask you because you’re a girl.”

Jess almost laughed when she remembered Daryl’s reasoning for dragging her back into the fray.

“Yeah, I got that.” She sniggered “OK, I’m going to tell you something and you have to promise not to tell anybody else.”

His face lit up at the prospect of being trusted with information that was to stay between the two of them. First, he’d kept her identity under the radar, now, she was relying on him to keep something else to himself. It’s had become. A strange bonding exercise, being entrusted as the keeper of secrets.

“Yeah. Sure. Of course.” He quickly agreed

“And you have to promise not to come out here alone anymore” she added.

“But Jess-”

“Carl” she warned with a stern voice and a raised eyebrow.

“Ok, fine. I promise.”

Jess took a deep breath and tried to evaluate the consequences her words would have should Carl fail to keep them under wraps. It was a risk, but one she could probably explain away should she need to. It all depended on how she worded what she was about to say

“He doesn’t know it, but Daryl is who you should be using as a good example of how to treat a girl. You should pay attention to how he treats me.”

It had been said and it wasn’t until she heard the words spoken instead of in her head, that she realized just how much she believed them.

“What?” Carl said “You mean, you guys are-”

“-No! Oh, no!” She corrected, a little quicker than desired “We’re friends. Close friends. But he knows how to treat a girl the way she deserves and it’s strange because he’s never had anybody in his entire life to tell him how to do that. He just knows.”

“Well…What does he do?”

Her vision moved out to the trees while her mind worked to filter though her memories of Daryl and every time his actions or words had made her feel like she was worth something. There were a lot and she was sure that if she ever told him he wouldn’t have even known.

“He makes time for me. I think he likes being around me. He laughs with me, teases me, actually listens to what I have to say and if I need him, I know he’ll be there.”

“That sounds nice. For you.” Carl mused.

“Yeah, and it’ll be nice for Enid to have somebody like that because you can bet your ass that idiot boyfriend of hers hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing. If he did, she probably wouldn’t be out here most days on her own” she told him with a wag of her finger

Carl laughed at her take on things “hope you’re right” He mused. “If Daryl is so good to you, why aren’t you his girlfriend?”

A wave of nervous energy washed over Jess and she couldn’t help the strained and somewhat odd giggle that escaped her lips. Knowing her only option to bypass being tangled in a conversation on a topic she really did not wish to discuss was ignoring the question, she slapped her hands on her knees, rubbed over her jeans and got to her feet.

“Carl, you’re never going to get a chance with the girl you like unless you stay inside the walls. Because you’ll be dead. Now, c’mon, let’s get you home” She declared.

With that, she linked her hand under his arm and pulled him upright, frog marching him towards Alexandria and trying to ignore the mocking grin he was giving her.

Daryl was sitting in a truck by the gate when Jess managed to smuggle Carl back in without Rick or anyone else but the gate guard noticing. Stealth and secrecy were her expertise and Carl was glad of it when he spotted his father outside the armory in discussion with Carol. He quickly ran behind the houses, evading Ricks focus.

Daryl smoked a cigarette and followed Jess with his eyes as she crept around the perimeter, keeping Carl in the shadows and sending him on his way once he was out of sight. Then, she made her way towards him where he was already enjoying seeing her inside the walls with her hood down and mask hanging around her neck as opposed to hiding her face. She’d braided her hair and the loose strands from the front blew gently in the breeze, it added a delicate and feminine edge to her mysterious and capable front.

He squinted at her in the sun and pushed away his anxiety about what had transpired the previous night. It wasn’t something he’d planned, or even thought about. Rather, it had just happened and he couldn’t say that he regretted the mildly flirtatious things that he’d said. The result was better than he could have anticipated and instead of him needing to awkwardly back track and apologize, Jess reacted in the best way possible; he could even hazard to say that she’d flirted back, not to mention that she’d referred to him as ‘handsome’. Daryl mused that there was indeed a first time for everything and for him, it was being able to steer a conversation with a pretty girl towards something that hinted at a little more than friendship, even if he wasn’t necessarily sure that she was on the same page. The prospect of her having a genuine interest in him in that respect had come from the certainty that she did indeed have a crush on him back at the quarry and that she quite frequently appeared flustered while in his presence. But now he was under no illusions that their flirtatious exchange was likely to be little more than an instance of getting to know one another. After all, she’d probably forgotten all about it by then anyway. He dared to hope for anything more, disbelieving that he was anywhere near good enough for her anyway.

He watched her closely as she crossed the street and headed in his direction, her hand lifted in a small wave and his fingers rippled up on the frame of the open window of the truck, acknowledging her and returning the gesture. She was back in her regular clothes but Daryl would never forget the image of her in a dress with soft curls and wearing a shy and altogether bewitching smile when he’d informed her of his interest in finding out more about her.

“Morning handsome” she greeted in an echo of the night before

She leaned against the open door of the truck and smiled broadly at him. Something had changed in him and the longer his eyes lingered on her the more he wanted to follow through with his idea of working harder to find out the things about her that he didn’t yet know.

“Not sure which nickname I prefer” he expressed “that or ‘Stinky’.”

“‘Stinky’ is now reserved for when you piss me off. ‘Handsome’ is for when you’re in my good books.” Her head tilted to one side and she traced over the edge of the truck’s door with her fingertip.

“I’m in you good books now?” He asked

“You might be.”

“How’d I manage that?”

“Told me I looked nice last night.” Was her honest and surprising reply.

Daryl was shocked to discover that his flirtatious comments hadn’t been brushed off like yesterdays shopping list at all. They were very much still at the forefront of her mind and for some reason he couldn’t quite place, she presented as different to him. She was bolder and for the first time he was able to see a glimmer of a side to her that had hijacked his curiosity more than he cared to admit.

“You did” He reiterated bravely.

“Ooh.” She hummed “You’re determined to stay there, huh?”

“Kind of a good place to be” He mentioned “Better’n you pointin’ guns at me in the woods like a crazy lady”

“Aaaand you just secured your place back in the bad books, Stinky.” She giggled while she his gaze, bravely grinning at him and trying to stop the sparking mass of excitement in the pit of her stomach from making her do something she would regret. From her peripheral vision, she could sense Rick at the other end of the street. He was still at the top of the armory steps, shoving his Python into its holster at his hip.

“You heading out?” She asked Daryl.

“Yeah, found a guy livin’ in the woods a few miles out all by himself. Rick is coming with me to talk to him, see what he’s about” he explained.

The smile stayed on Jess’s face and she nudged her head up, conveying that she understood. Part of Daryl wished he didn’t have to leave, that Rick wasn’t on his way to climb into the truck and venture with him outside of the walls. He wanted to stay, to stay with Jess and spend the day just talking to her. Or, to at least find a reason to spend time in her company.

“Come with us.” He suggested from nowhere. It was driven by impulse, and idea that wasn’t thought through but said regardless.

“Thought you didn’t want me going anywhere that wasn’t local. You put your big, protective foot down, remember? Breaking your own rules, Dixon” She reminded him with an element of smugness.

“Ain’t gotta.” He shrugged. “plus, what’s the point of rules if they ain't for breakin’ from time to time?”

“Daryl Dixon, the eternal rebel.” She smiled with a much better executed wink than her previous effort “I’ll tag along.” The idea of a trip far from the town was an appealing one and not just because of the company she would be keeping. Jess was beginning to get cabin fever after pacing the same paths and looking at the same walls. She left the quarry to be a free bird, to go where she pleased and on occasion, she felt nothing but hemmed in. She needed to be busy and Daryl’s offer couldn’t have come at a better time. She hopped in the back and hung an arm on each of the seats in front while they waited for Rick to arrive. Daryl discarded his smoke and swung his legs into the truck, closing the door and turning his head to see Jess peering at him from her position between the seats.

“So, what’s the deal with you bringin’ Carl through the gates like he’s contraband?” He wanted to know.

“Oh, about that, I caught him outside the walls looking for Enid. I’m keeping an eye on him. Don’t tell Rick”

A slight glance over his shoulder told her that he didn’t like the idea of withholding information from Rick, but some things need not be said to save any unnecessary dramas.

“You tell the kid what ya told me?” he asked.

“Told him what he needs to do, yes.”

“Alright. We’ll see if it works, I guess.”

“It will.” She commented with a firm confidence only to be met with a suspicious side glance from Daryl. “It will!” She reiterated “He’s got excellent mentors.”

“What, me n’ you? Two people who ain't never had a relationship before? Alright, whatever you say.”

Jess playfully slapped at his shoulder and scoffed at his negativity, although she couldn’t deny that he had a point, she wasn’t about to agree with his statement.

“It doesn’t need experience; it needs patience and faith. You’ll see.”

“OK, cupid.” He mumbled. A thin piece of red thread garnered his attention on the dash and he picked it up and began winding it around his fingers as he leaned on the steering wheel. “Whatcha say to him anyways?”

It was the second time he’d made a try for specifics on the subject and his intent felt dangerously thinly veiled. He was interested, curious to know about Jess’s expectations and advice. For a moment, he considered the idea that he probably needed the advice more than Carl did. A quietness from beside him concerned him and he looked to his side to see her lip curled up at one end and a glint in her eye.

“That’s between Carl and I.” She finally replied. “Maybe I’ll tell you one day.”

A short huff from Daryl meant he was dismissing the subject rapidly and started to rummage around in the glovebox, secretly hoping that she would grace him with the truth someday. More than aware that her conversing with him was becoming a lot more than just chit chat and jest, Jess toyed with the idea of asking something a little more direct than she usually would.

“Were you drunk last night?” She questioned.

As if the notion had sparked a fire under him, Daryl shot back to his seating position and frowned at her.

“What? No.” He answered, “Why?”

“Wondering, that’s all. Was thinking maybe you were drunk or it was the dress that I told Aaron was too short but he made me wear it anyway.” As she spoke, her nerves began to rise and it was translated into the flicking of her hands in the air, making her appear to be rambling when she wasn’t.

“What are ya talkin’ ‘bout?’ He queried, turning his body to face her. She blinked at him and sucked her lower lip into her mouth.

Say it, Jess. Just say it. You want to see his reaction.

“Just…trying to figure out why you flirted with me.”

Far from the response she wanted, Daryl slowly twisted back and settled in the driver’s seat. She heard him sigh deeply, a long, drawn out exhalation. Along with the drumming of his fingers on the steering wheel, she figured they would be the only two sounds she would be presented with. Seconds passed, the longest seconds she’d ever encountered and she was on the verge of sitting back in the seat and pretending she never even bothered to ask.

Daryl was at a loss for words. Such a question was totally unexpected and he hadn’t given a single thought to how he might answer it. He could have been revealingly honest and told her he’d flirted with her because he had feelings for her that he couldn’t explain but didn’t dislike. But the point of such an admission would have been absent and so, he resigned himself to the less is more approach.

“That a problem?” He eventually muttered.

“Uh…No.” She replied uneasily.

It may not have been a problem, but it was still an issue of some sort and for Daryl it was enough to make him highly uncomfortable. His face was stoic with a discipline he’d practiced for years, he peered out of the windscreen at the gate guards swapping shifts. Then, movement in the mirror caught his attention. Rick was on his way to the truck. The air was thick with anticipation and as much as he just wanted to keep quiet and not fuel any more confusion between them, he knew he owed her an answer at least. With Rick a few feet away from the back of the truck, Daryl diverted his gaze to the rear-view mirror and found Jess peering back at him innocently and with a hint of worry on her face.

“Was sober n’ it wasn’t ‘cause of no dress.” He whispered just as Rick interrupted by climbing into the truck.

Over an hour of fleeting glances in the rear-view mirror and frustration near to boiling point meant Jess had to force herself to swallow the urge to ask a barrage of questions pertaining to Daryl’s absolute conundrum of a statement. Reaching their destination, Jess jumped out of the truck and demanded to be shown the route they were taking on a map. Once she had a clear idea of the direction they were headed in, she surged ahead, not wanting to having to endure any more confusion by meeting Daryl’s eye.

Since when did he flirt with her? Since when did he offer such a non-answer when questioned about something? Since when did everything get so complicated? She needed to know what was happening, because something was and she could feel it in her gut. Something in him had changed and she needed to know what. It was obvious that he’d timed his answer strategically, in the seconds before Rick opened the truck door and climbed inside. He knew she wouldn’t continue probing about such a sensitive subject in front of anyone else and he took advantage of it.

Smart She thought Smart and annoying.

The day was hot. Dry, dusty air howled through the leaves and branches of the woods and Walkers were congregating in higher numbers than Alexandria had to deal with. Rick and Daryl took it upon themselves to put most of them down as the small group moved towards their destination with Jess picking off the stragglers at a distance with her bow. Multiple times she’d heard Daryl call her name during combat with the undead, but every time she ignored him. She could handle a few Walkers with her bow and didn’t need his assistance. What she did need, was an explanation.

As they approached a camp nestled in the bushes, Jess slowed her pace and switched her bow up for her machete, gripping it in her hand until her knuckles turned white. She didn’t know why she was so uneasy about the situation, but a niggling in the back of her mind was telling her to proceed with caution. Rick signaled silently with his hand for Daryl to take the left while he took the right and the three of them crept closer, scoping out the area and listening for any sounds. Jess halted and squinted at the dull light in the trees, thinking she’d spotted movement in the entrance of a ripped and moldy tent.

The wind was knocked from her lungs when Daryl's arms locked around her middle, yanking her body backwards and causing her boots to scuff along the ground. He held her flush against his body while hissing in her ear after she yelped in surprise.

“Shhhh”

“Wha-what are you-?" She tried, but his hand shot up and clamped over her mouth. She could feel his breath on her neck as he held her still, his strength obviously hard to rival.

“Trap.” He breathed in her ear.

Rick quickly shuffled along from the far side and partially knelt in front of them, positioning himself in Jess’s eye-line. He raised an arm and traced along the nearly transparent wire that she had almost activated.

Jess wriggled from Daryl’s grasp and brushed angrily at her clothes. Why hadn’t she seen that? She had one that was identical set up by the gate of the fairground. Her mind had undoubtedly been elsewhere and now she was embarrassed about missing a trap she considered to be child’s play.

“Y’all go ahead” she told them both. “I’m too distracted to lead anymore”

The displeased glare that Daryl received as she passed him was not lost on him and he charges ahead, stepping over the trap with Rick and pushing through the trees towards the tent.

Everyone knows the feeling; when you’re looking at someone and you know that you’ve seen them somewhere before but your mind withholds vital information that would lead you to figure out exactly why that person was already in your memory before you happened upon them.

Daryl and Rick kept their distance and their weapons drawn while the scruffy, toothless man before them rambled about living in the woods for months and how hungry he was. Tilting her head to the side, Jess examined his arms and the rotund shape of his stomach. This man most certainly was not starving and his voice was also ringing a bell. It made her skin prickle and turn cold. She stalked back and forth behind her two comrades, aware that she was not avoiding the leering gaze of the man that was sitting on the floor outside his ruined tent. His clothing was in decent enough condition. Holes in the knees of his pants sewn up and his plain, blue shirt was devoid of the stains and rips that living in the wilderness would create. Something was amiss. Jess stopped walking and adjusted her grip on her machete.

“How many people have you killed?” Rick asked. It was one of three questions that were customary in the recruitment of outsiders that helped to identify a good person from a bad one.

“I dunno… a few. Gotta do what you’ve gotta do, right?!” The man declared before releasing a throaty, loose laugh that seared into Jess’s memory.

I know you.

She charged through the gap between Rick and Daryl and flung her machete at the man, stopping centimeters from his throat. Time suspended around her and for a few seconds, there was nothing but her rage and the flash of fear in the man’s eyes. She was sure Rick and Daryl were speaking to her, probably urging her to back down. But she heard nothing but the thud of her heartbeat in her head.

“Did you find what you were looking for in the city?” She hissed

“W-woah, lady. Relax. I don’t know what you-” he stammered, saliva sprayed from his toothless mouth as he spoke, dotting her blade with spit.

“-are you sure? Because I remember you. That phlegm infested laugh and how you drummed on the metal cage you drove through the streets with a half naked, screaming woman inside.”

Gradually, the sound of Daryl and Ricks voices began to sleep through her rage and she could sense Rick approaching her, holding a hand out towards the handle of her blade.

“What did you do to that woman?” She wanted to know.

“What woman? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He cried

“The woman from the damn cage, asshole! I know you and I know the band of pricks you’re working with! I heard you in the woods, before we killed your buddy. You’re collecting women, and you’re out here as bait, aren’t you?! Poor, starving guy all alone in the woods, begging for help from passers by. Where are the rest of your group?”

The man’s face began to tremble with each escalation of fury in Jess’s voice. Her anger was rising and everything blurred when she bypassed needing an answer to her question and moved her arm back, readying herself to slice his head clean off.

Daryl came out of nowhere, barging into her and knocking her to the floor. Her machete left her hand and scattered across the dirt, skidding to a stop a few feet from her fingers while Daryl pinned her to the floor. Her back hummed with pain from the impact and her shoulders were locked under his weight. She kicked and bucked beneath him, her strangled yells sounding out across the area. She could see Rick lunge towards them and scoop up her blade with his revolver still pointed at the man, who was staring, wide-eyed at the scuffle.

“Let me go!” She growled “I know what he is… fucking rapist bastard! We need-we need to kill him!”

Daryl was shushing her as best he could, but his words were falling on deaf ears.

“Let me go, Daryl! GET OFF OF ME!” She bellowed. But he shifted his grip on her, most of his body now covering her in the dirt. He managed to bring a hand to her face, steadying her thrashing and lowered his lips close to her ear.

“I get it” he told her “I get it, Jess. But you gotta calm down. We gotta be sure”

“Let me go” she snapped

“Can’t do that until I know ya ain’t gonna chop his head off or put an arrow between his eyes. We can’t just kill him.”

“Yes, we can. He’s one of them. The men from the woods when we hid in the stream. You know what they are. I saw him, I looked back and I saw him. They pick up women and use them. I saw them in the city. They had a woman in a fucking cage, Daryl!” Her lungs were straining and her speech was forced from her throat into a stream of rambling. She paused and struggled, snapping her head to the side and locking eyes with the man “Rapist pig!”

“Hey, hey, hey, c’mon. Don’t look at him.” Daryl soothed, gently turning her head back to him. “Look at me.” He peered down at her flushed and enraged face, noticing that the fight seemed to have left her limbs “Look at me. it’s just me n’ you. Please.”

He was so close to her that the sweaty strands of his hair were tickling her face and it occurred to her that if she lifted her head slightly, she could see right down his shirt to the toned landscape of his chest. All at once, the situation became about more than just him keeping her in line.

At least I get to know what it’s like to be under you, Dixon.

The contact wasn't lost on Daryl either, who was becoming starkly aware of the dangers that friction coupled with being on top of an attractive woman held. He forced his mind to the task at hand and tried to remain logical and focused. But the curve of her hip and waist was making things extremely difficult.

She grit her teeth and wriggled while shooting him an angry look and breathing through her nose. She had to concede soon or the man had a good chance of escape. She needed to change tact and the only way she could do that was if Daryl allowed her to get up from the ground. She began to calm and shifted slightly under him.

“fine.” She spat.

She turned her head and huffed against the dirt, sending a cloud of brown dust up in front of him.

“Slowly. Don’t try nothin’. Please” he requested as he gradually moved back and let her have control back in her upper body. She sat up and he still held onto her legs, still straddling her thighs, untrusting and wary. She brushed the dirt from her hair and clothing and stared at him.

“You alright?” He asked

“You know we have to kill him. He’s not going anywhere near our people” She whispered with a quick glance at the man, who was now being grilled by Rick and staring down the barrel of his gun.

“We can use him. Keep in the cell. He could have information.” He reasoned.

It took all manner of pleading looks before Jess finally gave in and agreed not to hurt the man if Daryl let her up from the floor and when she was finally able to stand, she cleared her throat and dusted herself down, throwing an awkward glance Daryl’s way and finding him imitating her expression.

Maybe I should kick off again, that was kinda fun. She thought.

After a detailed discussion between Rick and Daryl while Jess paced angrily back and forth behind them, it was decided that the stranger was to be tied up and taken back to Alexandria’s jail where he would be interrogated for information. Daryl was confident in Jess’s declaration that she knew the man and had seen him twice before. If he was a part of a larger group that were a danger to the people of their town, then they needed to know what they were up against.

Throughout the negotiation and with a gun still pointed to his head, the man remained adamant that he had no idea what Jess was referring to and he was, in fact, simply a drifter living alone in the woods.

“You got any weapons?” Rick asked.

“No. Even if I did, you could shoot me in the head right now.” He answered.

Daryl and Rick didn’t believe him any more than Jess did and so it was with great caution that he was lifted to his feet with Jess volunteering to search him and bind his hands at his back. Rick handed her some rope and she stepped around him, lowering her eyes to his wrists which he’d brought around to his lower back. Between his hands, she spotted the unmistakable grip of a pistol tucked deep into his waistband.

“He’s got a gu-”

It was a blur and it felt like her feet lifted clear of the ground. In one swift movement an arm was clamped around her throat, pressing on her windpipe and her other arm was bent behind her back. A cold, circular pressure on her temple made her heart sink. Her chest constricted and fear hammered through her veins. She tried to struggle, to use her feet to stamp on his boots, her one, free hand desperately clawed at his forearm but he didn’t budge.

“Back up or I shoot her.” The man said calmly with a crazed grin on his face that made Daryl’s blood run cold. Both Rick and Daryl took a couple of steps back, Daryl’s face etched with worry. “Weapons on the floor”

“You don’t have to do this.” Rick tried as he and Daryl placed their weapons in the dust. “We’re just going to take you back and talk to you. Let her go.”

The man turned his head and pushed his nose into the side of Jess’s hair. He sniffed loudly, his eyes rolling up and a laugh crackling from his lungs.

“Let her go?” He chuckled. “Why would I do that? She’s a prize find. They don’t come in such good quality after all this time. He’s gonna loooove you, sweetheart.”

“I’ma fuckin’ kill you” Daryl growled.

Jess’s body began to shake with terror and her mind kicked into overdrive at the many horrendous possibilities that could befall her if the man was able to drag her away somehow. She tried to think, tried to formulate and plan and hoped that Daryl and Rick were coming up with something themselves.

Another mocking laugh and Jess could feel the vibration from it rumble through her back. Nausea swept over her and she swallowed hard, her eyes lifting to Daryl who stood, motionless and staring at her captor as if he was imagining tearing him limb from limb. Rick was still trying to talk him into submission, his every attempt met with mockery and an even tighter grip around her neck. Around his prize.

Out of nowhere, Daryl dived at them, his shoulder colliding with the man’s hip and lifting all of them into the air.

BANG

Jess landed with an almighty thud at the same time as the gunshot rang out through the woods. She shook her head as her eardrums ached and her hearing muffled and quickly felt over her clothes for wounds or blood. In her peripheral vision she could see Rick running towards them in slow motion.

Am I hit? Did he shoot me? I can’t feel anything. No, I’m not hit. Then who did he…?

She scrambled up to her knees, spinning around and taking in the scene before her. Everything was still moving in slow motion and her ears were now ringing with pain from the noise. Her mouth dropped open. She was hyperventilating. She blinked rapidly, able to make out Daryl scrapping with the man on the floor. Punches were being thrown and footsteps neared her. She was knelt on something metal; her knee was thrumming with discomfort. She shifted and picked up the strangers gun.

“ON YOUR KNEES ASSHOLE!”

It didn’t even sound like her own voice. It was loud and built of fury and fire and a determination unlike she’d never felt before. The man threw his hands up and climbed up from where he’d been subjected to Daryl raining punches down on him.

“Woah, lady. Everything was goin’ just fine until ya boyfriend here jumped in.” He commented. “We was just gonna have ourselves a little trip before I delivered ya to the big guy. It ain't nothin’. Just give this up n’ nobody else has to get hurt. We’re all just trying to survive, right? Whatever ways we know how? Why don’t ya just put down the gun? Huh? Sweetheart.”

Rick, who was also pointing his gun in the same direction, noticed Daryl roll onto his back and clutch his thigh. Strained grunts and cuss words filled the air and Jess put two and to together. They exchanged a glance that conveyed Jess would be the one to hold the assailant at gunpoint while Rick dashed over to Daryl and began applying pressure to his wound.

He shot Daryl.

Tears filled her eyes and her vision blurred. The man’s face distorting through a glassy view and her breath suddenly becoming incredibly difficult to pass through her lungs. Intermittently, her eyes flickered over to Daryl on the floor, losing blood quickly as the crimson pool in the dirt beneath him grew larger. Rick partially obscured her view as he tended to him, using his knife to carve off a part of his sleeve to double it up as a tourniquet.

“Daryl?!” Jess yelled, ignoring the pleas from her target who was still waffling on in front of her and trying to talk his way out of being shot in the head. “Daryl?! Are you Okay?!”

“Uggghh…yeah. M’okay.” Came the unconvincing reply. Her hands were shaking around the gun. The gun that she’d failed to check for ammo. She quickly examined the magazine, satisfied that she wasn’t being taken for a fool. Her blurred vision coupled with Rick’s body positioned in front of Daryl meant that she still couldn’t see much and she began to panic.

“RICK?!” She bellowed but was met with nothing. Her labored and shallow breaths sounded ten times louder than usual and she felt like everyone could hear the terrified rhythm of her heart pounding in her chest. “RICK?! ANSWER ME!”

“Yeah?” He shouted back.

“Tell me the truth, is Daryl lying to me?”

At her feet, the man was giggling maniacally and Jess was trying her hardest to ignore the uncomfortably unstable way in which he was conducting himself in such a situation.

“It’s funny.” He chucked “This is all pointless. You’re all going to die anyway! Ain't nothin’ but the hell down there and the hell up here!”

“Shut up” Jess snapped. “Rick?! I need an answer here!”

“Yeah. He’s hit. Got him in the thigh.” Rick eventually called over his shoulder to the tune of Daryl’s painful cries. Jess’s stomach flipped.

“Tell me that bullet hasn’t hit his femoral artery” She told him.

“No, I think it missed it.” He replied, straight away this time. “You alright over there?”

“Yeah. I got this.” She affirmed.

Jess messily swiped at her eyes with her sleeve, clearing her vision somewhat and allowing her to see the blackened rings under the man’s eyes, his toothless void of a mouth twisted into a sickening grin and the rapid swelling of his cheekbone that must have been courtesy of Daryl. She tilted her head to the side and shifted her weight evenly over both feet. Both of her hands gripped the gun and she sniffed away her tears, finding some semblance of strength that had suddenly been mustered from some part of her being. It didn’t need to be thought about, she knew what she had to do.

She lowered the gun slightly and pulled the trigger. The deafening noise ripped through the trees.

“Jess!” Daryl yelled, quieted when the man’s piercing screams sounded up from in front of her as she stood over him and watched him grip the bleeding, ragged wound in his thigh. He squirmed and writhed in agony. Her face was blank and her actions were fueled by a need for a violent revenge. Jess had never been a violent person and recoiled at any type of physical force. But it was the end of days, humanity was reduced to a ‘them or us’ mentality and when it came to those she cared about; it was a different. No one shot Daryl and got away with it. She slowly crouched in front of the bloodied stranger, hoping that he was feeling even an ounce of the torture that Daryl was experiencing.

“Shh” She hushed gently. “Shh. It’s going to be alright. You’ll see” The man gradually raised his head to her, his face revealing the extent of his pain. She held the gun up to his temple, choosing the angle so she could escape being splattered with blood. It was strange how her logic was working when everything else was a mess.

“No. No. Please” he cried, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Shh” she cooed. One of her hands sought his, taking hold of his bloodied fingers and tenderly rubbing her thumb across his skin. “It’ll be alright” She repeated. “You’ll see.”

BANG.

Bright sunlight was the first thing Daryl saw when he woke. He squinted in discomfort and turned his head away from the window. His head was heavy and his stomach was empty. His throat was dry and there was a dull numbness to his entire body that he thought was consistent with the time he’d raided Merle’s stash and taken his Oxycodone. But he didn’t remember taking anything. In fact, he didn’t remember much at all. He sucked in a deep breath, feeling his lungs tighten and his limbs tingle. Just how long had he been asleep?

Moving his head back, he scanned the room, alarmed to find that it was not the usual place he lay his head. He recognized it to be the infirmary and like a floodgate had opened, everything came rushing back to his memory. The woods. The stranger with the gun. Pinning Jess to the ground. The gunshot wound to his leg. Jess putting an end to it all.

Jess. Where is she?

He grunted and screwed his face up when he tried to move. It dawned on him that he was actually under the influence of strong painkillers that were doing a good job of masking the pain, but not managing to take it away altogether. His leg spiked with agony and he balled his hands into fists as he raised his head from the pillow and noticed the still form of Jess, sitting by the side of his bed with her head resting on her arm on the mattress. Her dark hair was covering her face and her hand was draped over his forearm. He swallowed; his throat drier than the Mojave Desert when he tried to speak.

“J-Jess?” He croaked.

She stirred and let out a small moan, adjusting her position on her bent arm. Daryl smiled at the sight, he didn’t want her to see him in his current state at all, but in truth there was no one else he wanted to see in that moment. He glanced down at her hand delicately placed over his forearm and rotated his wrist, bringing his elbow back and catching her hand in his. He could have stayed there like that for hours. With her fingers wrapped in his grip and her sleeping on his bed. But he needed to know if she was okay and so, he squeezed her hand.

Jess shot up and jerked her hand away from him, her chair scraped against the infirmary floor and her wild eyes checked the room before landing on Daryl. She brought her hand to her chest and caught her breath.

“Oh my god. You’re awake.” She sighed.

She ran a hand through her hair and blinked the sleep from her eyes. Daryl noticed her clothing, a far cry from what he was used to seeing her in. She wore plain black jeans and a white T-shirt. No logos, no emblems or superhero symbols.

“How long ya been here?” he rasped.

“Since we brought you in.” She said “I haven’t left this room.” He furrowed his brow and tried to comprehend exactly how long she meant and wondered how she’d managed to change if she’d not left the room. “Eric brought me some clothes. I got changed while you were sleeping.” She explained, like she could read his mind.

“How long have I been here?” He wanted to know.

“Almost forty-seven hours.” She yawned, covering her mouth and propping her head up on her elbows, using the mattress beside him as a table.

“Jesus.” He grunted. No wonder he couldn’t properly feel his limbs.

She rose to her feet and hovered her hands over him as he struggled to sit up. When she tried to offer her assistance, he quickly held up a hand and shook his head, wanting to complete the simple task himself.

For a moment, Daryl pondered over who had undressed him when he looked down at his bare torso and his arm hooked up to a drip as he sat there, shirtless and slowly dragging the covers up as far as they would go. It had, in fact, been Jess and Denise that had teamed up to get him into bed, aided by Rick, who did the heavy lifting due to Daryl passing out from blood loss and becoming a dead weight.

Denise, who was trained as a surgeon but ended up in psychiatry before the turn, had panicked when it was revealed just how much blood loss she was dealing with. Daryl’s blood type being a complete mystery to everyone in the room only served to heighten her worry. It was Jess that volunteered to donate, quickly announcing that she was O negative and therefore able to donate blood to anyone. She was quickly hooked up and gave as much as she could without collapsing, eventually falling asleep in the chair next to Daryl’s bed and moving only to explain the drama to Aaron and Eric, who brought her clothes and food and tried unsuccessfully to coax her back to the comfortable, warm, spare bed at their place.

“How are you feeling?” She questioned.

“Kinda lit” He admitted

“That’ll be the Oxy” She replied with a quick giggle. “The bullet missed your femoral artery but you’ve got some damage to repair and it’s going to take time. Denise got the bullet out but she says you’ll need physiotherapy to build the muscle strength back up in your leg."

“Mm. Great. This Oxy’s some good shit. You know where she keeps it?”

She didn’t bother to answer, only throwing him a stern but amused look under a raised eyebrow. Sitting back down in her chair, she was aware that the cushioned seat had now become flat and hard from hours of being compressed by her tired body. She really needed a bed for a couple of hours and a belly full of decent food. But leaving Daryl when he’d just woken up was not an option. She briefly reached up and checked his drip was still working, looking over the connections in the wires and gently turning his arm to check the valve. Feeling him staring at her, she met his eye and sat back against the backrest.

“You good?” He asked.

She didn’t know the answer. On the one hand, she was filled with overwhelming relief that he was alive and would live to carry on his constant mockery of her. On the other, she was horrified at the very real possibility that should the bullet had hit his artery, she’d have been preparing to attend his funeral instead of staring him down when he hinted at wanting more Oxycontin.

"Fine" She squeaked.

She cursed herself internally when she couldn’t hold her tears back. Like a freight train, the events of the last two days had hit her all at once and it was wholly overwhelming. Salty drops flittered down her cheeks and she lowered her head, hoping that Daryl was high enough not to notice.

“Don’t look fine.” He commented.

Typical. Turns out he’s not high enough to overlook me being an emotional wreck.

“Don’t. Don’t do that” He urged.

She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and sighed quietly.

“Jess” He cooed, his tone of voice quieter and soothing “He’s dead. It’s over.”

“He shot you” she exclaimed abruptly, “I won’t have…have anyone hur-he shot you. It’s- no. Just no. I won’t have it.”

She wrung her hands in her lap, irritated by the sound of her blathering.

“Been shot before. Takes more than that to kill me” Daryl pointed out.

She managed to look up and meet his eyes, smiling at him tearfully and fiddling with the corner of the blanket on the bed. She froze when he subtly but very deliberately slid his hand across the sheets and touched her fingers to interrupt the twiddling of the blankets hem. He lightly rubbed back and forth over her index and middle fingers. Her skin ignited and she gazed down at his bloodstained hand over hers.

“What are ya doin? You actually cryin’ at me right now?” He asked.

“No” She lied with a croak.

“Stop this now, alright?” He told her. “C’mon, don’t be no crybaby, s’posed to be a badass.”

Jess couldn’t help but laugh. She was discovering fast that playful, well-meaning jest was actually customary to his personality, he was just very selective with whom he chose to share it.

“No, that’s you. Mr. Indestructible.” She chuckled with a couple of sniffs.

“Hey.” He uttered, noting her gaze drop again and forcing her to look up at him with a slight squeeze of her fingers. “Thanks for shootin’ that prick. I’d have done it myself but I was-”

“-Dealing with a hole in your leg?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll kill anybody that tries to hurt you.” She revealed without thinking. Too terrified to look at him for fear of him thinking her comment strange and dramatic, her lips parted and she fixed her vision down into her lap.

Oh, lord. Apparently, I’m just broadcasting everything in my head now.

“Same.” He mumbled unexpectedly.

The eye contact that transpired between them following such a deep confession was unlike anything either of them had felt before. It was an intense, lingering connection in which the rest of the room seemed to fade into a vignette effect and there remained only the two of them. Time became irrelevant, it could have been hours that passed and neither one of them would have noticed. It was only when a noise from the door snapped them out of their trance that Jess flinched and swallowed hard. Now slightly uncomfortable, but determined not to show it, Daryl simply observed her shift needlessly in her seat. It was quite the moment to him and one that meant so much without saying anything at all.

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