tyazoul - Tumblr blog

[tyazoul]

OP isn't exaggerating. There are countless of videos of the IDF shooting at crowds of Palestinians trying to find food for themselves and their starving families. The UN World Food Programme even suspended delivering aid because the IDF won't stop shooting people.

[tyazoul]

The US is not just withholding a truce. It’s actively participating in the eradication of Palestinians.

[tyazoul]

As always don't forget about eSims

[tyazoul]

this ramadan we pray for peace and aid for the people of palestine. this ramadan we remember the previous ramadans, where thousands of palestinians were massacred. this ramadan we honour palestine, and may we see a free palestine next ramadan

[tyazoul]

so this shyness thing doesn't go away with age huh

[tyazoul]

Khalil Gibran

[tyazoul]

Seeing footage of the aftermath of the flour massacre in Gaza is so painful

"Where is my daughter? Tell her I don't want flour anymore"

"My brother was shot holding a bag of flour. He kept holding on to it so they kept shooting him"

"Why does flour have to be stained with blood?"

Over 100 have been killed. Every single one of them hungry. Every single one of them has someone waiting for them to come back with the bag of flour.

Israel is using starvation as a weapon of war against innocent civilians. Israel ambushes starving Palestinians and shoots them. Israel is not fighting a war to defend itself. This is another episode of Israel's ongoing genocide in Gaza.

[tyazoul]

🍉Data sources under the cut🍉

[tyazoul]

Simon Bang — The Scenery (acrylic on canvas, 2019)

[tyazoul]

Takako Ugachi: 'Quatre Saisons' (2020)

[tyazoul]

thinking about blowing my head off 25/7 of the day

[tyazoul]

it's just another episode of identity crisis and feeling like i don't belong anywhere. it's the feeling that i thought i knew myself well, but it's just a constant battle between what i know and what I'm supposed to be. as much as i know i have to abandon the 'self-jeopardizing' parts of myself, i wouldn't want to lose the part of myself that has been keeping me safe from the world. if there's one thing that i want to overcome is the feeling that i am rotten and so painfully sad inside. it's to the extent whenever I am happy, i don't feel like myself. it almost feels foreign and weird. well, i am weird. even though i hate the fact that i am weird, i need to live with it. i somehow hate the way my brain is wired, the overlapping colored wires and scattered sockets make it harder for me to sort out what's needed and to get rid of what's not. I am also painfully quiet when I'm by myself, in a way that I am completely a different person when Im around people. i hope i wasn't being a hypocrite to myself or worse, fake to others. to be frank i am so tired of this never-ending, insignificant and draining battle of finding myself and of wanting people around me to be okay with who i am. and no wonder, i retreat myself from confrontation, of showing my true emotions. i guess i am still the same person when i was 19. so naive, still discovering and still sad and empty when it comes to myself. it turns into this ugly self pity and constantly wanting to disappear from this world. but my heart just can't leave the people i love. i still believe i still have a lot to give, have a lot to ask forgiveness to, have a lot to distribute to. if i can't be there for myself, at least i can be there for others.

[tyazoul]

There's something so pure about softness. Every person, I believe, should go through this phase of subtlety because it is indeed the most powerful feeling. For a long time, I have seen myself as a tough woman, somebody who's not to be played with and who people fear. Although I wasn't so tough. Maybe I liked the idea of a tough woman because I saw my mother like that, and that doesn't mean she isn't soft, her softness shows up in the most unadorned way. I think we become what we perceive. That’s what happened with me. The idea of toughness came along when my mother and I were growing up. We molded each other. But lately I have rediscovered the idea of strength in softness. Strength can be soft as well, that it doesn't always have to carry a scar to be called strong. This man brought me a mirror and I was able to see through my flesh and trust me that was painful. I was living outside my body, so the flesh seemed alright until I stepped inside and felt the cuts. Then there came softness. Then, instead of walking with them, I decided to cure them with some ointment and let them heal. I healed and lived softly.

[tyazoul]

some inexplicable feelings & words.

blythe baird // isabel allende // clarice lispector // of age - the frights // olivia laing // unknown // alexandra latos.

[tyazoul]

i wept down as i lied stiff, unable to move an inch, incapable to process a thought. my body went cold yet my skin burned, the flashbacks pierced through and i’m completely out of breath. my spine shivers as the memories flooded in, drowning the hell out of me. never felt so helpless and weak, that i hated myself so much for it. grey lines drew me here, i’m at fault and it’s only me to suffer. i feel so much that the emptiness took the best of me. my vessel that was once filled, is now just a black hole. i wish i could say this out loud yet here i am screaming in silence as i feel there’s no other safer place than my own solitude. i’m scared, ma. i’m terrified of what i think i’m turning into. i feel foreign in my own body, and my soul has long gone as the innocence dissipates. and i stood here in complete silence. waiting for my mind to tell me what to feel next as my heart has failed me terribly.

[tyazoul]

[tyazoul]

Isabel Allende, The House of the Spirits