tyranasaurusbec

[tyranasaurusbec]

the teen titans powersets are so crazy because it’s like. girl whose father is the devil, from the bible. girl who can make the earth swallow you. alien princess with laser beams. boy who can do a backflip

[tyranasaurusbec]

before twitter goes, here’s my favorite tweet of all time

[tyranasaurusbec]

[tyranasaurusbec]

just overheard my dad on the phone going “yeah, i’d be more than happy to buy her daughter off of you, how much would you be willing to trade her for?” and got Very Worried for a second before remembering that he manages dairy farms for a living. surely there’s gotta be a better way to word that man

[tyranasaurusbec]

[tyranasaurusbec]

[tyranasaurusbec]

Girl just block me it’s not that serious

[tyranasaurusbec]

"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox

[tyranasaurusbec]

I say "oh don't worry he doesn't bite" and you're confused because you don't see any dog but then you notice a single inchworm moving purposefully across the floor towards you at an alarming pace

[tyranasaurusbec]

3-5 turkey vultures will soon be dispatched to your location.

[tyranasaurusbec]

"you are gay and chinese" continues to be such a profound and emotionally impactful work to me which is rly funny

[tyranasaurusbec]

i will start sitting in a clearing holding a small stone and rubbing it with my hand for 10000 years to learn how to empathize with the river bed

[tyranasaurusbec]

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

[tyranasaurusbec]

kpop demon hunters from the perspective of the fans is so fucking funny because what do you mean the biggest kpop girl group in korea is beefing with and wrote a devastating diss track about a brand new boy band that debuted like 4 weeks ago and only has one song out

[tyranasaurusbec]

can uou drive me to deer practice

[tyranasaurusbec]

[tyranasaurusbec]