tyrusralvez

[tyrusralvez]

By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.

Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.

This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):

Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):

Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.

But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:

Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.

Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation

Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.

Meditation

Martial arts

Sports in general

Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)

Woodworking

Cooking

If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers

Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.

[tyrusralvez]

It feels so weird that as a bisexual woman I experienced prejudice twice from inside the LGBT+ community.

The first time was bc I thought i was asexual bc i felt the same way towards men AND woman and it couldn't possibly be sexual attraction (talk about internalized homophobia). So many people told me to kms for "pretending to be queer". Many more told me they could "fix" my sexual orientation with sex.

The second time was when i realized i was bisexual and people in the community (mostly lesbians, unfortunately) invalidated my sexuality and i suddenly became a "sexual deviant", a "farce that pretended to be bisexual for male sexual gratification" and a "cheater". Again I was told to kms. Again people said they could "fix" me with sex.

So, in one expierence I was not sexual enough, the other i was overly sexual.

In one I could never be with someone, the other I could never be with "just one" person.

Did my behavior change? No.

Did my morals change? No.

Did i suddenly go from not fucking to having sex with each and every person i could find? No.

I just had a better understanding of my own sexual orientation and opted for a label that best reflected that understanding.

And yet, people still dont understand why so many bisexuals are ace inclusionists...

[tyrusralvez]

bro ik we fuck around sm with buddie married couple shit but this episode was truly unhinged wdym they’re living together with the kid and buying groceries for the whole fam and bringing tia pepa over and talking about eddie as ‘our eddie’ (???) and fighting in the kitchen but also leaving notes to each other i-slept-on-the-couch type beat. um. so basically the only thing they haven’t done is kiss lmao ok. what the fuck

[tyrusralvez]

Coping HARD rn

[tyrusralvez]

👀👀👀👀

[tyrusralvez]

2 times Buck wasn’t in love vs 1 time he was

[tyrusralvez]

8.11 + buddie text posts

[tyrusralvez]

What are some of Malcolm’s behaviors, especially from the pilot that puts him on the spectrum? I’m asking because I’m curious, i didn’t notice any behaviors that set him apart. Thanks for answering although I don’t think you’ll mind talking about autistic Malcolm.

Thanks for the question! I’m actually working on a master post of Malcolm’s autistic traits so I’ll just pull some highlights from there.

First of all, here is a list of autistic traits found in adults that I think Malcolm fits: 

Difficulty regulating emotion

Difficulty maintaining the natural give-and-take of a conversation; prone to monologues on a favorite subject

Strict consistency to daily routines; outbursts when changes occur

Exhibiting strong, special interests

Inflection that does not reflect feelings

You’ve always wanted a best friend, but never found one.

Seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to

Finding it hard to say how you feel

Not understanding social "rules", such as not talking over people

Noticing small details, patterns, smells or sounds that others do not

(sources: x, x)��

Pilot

The cicada scene: Malcolm is shown to be hypersensitive to sound. 

Correcting the FBI: Idk how relatable this is to other autistic ppl but I have a problem with correcting people. 

Malcolm’s routine: Autistic people often have very strict routines. 

Meeting JT and Dani: Malcolm is shown to be rather uninterested in introducing himself at the crime scene. He is hyperfixated on seeing the body; while Gil is introducing him to Dani, Malcolm is only focused on reading the case file and when he’s introduced to JT, he’s looking over his shoulder to see the body. (x)

“Most food makes me sick”: Autistic people tend to be “picky eaters,” due largely to the texture of food, since we’re hyper sensitive to things like that.

The rest of the show

Social awkwardness: We see Malcolm rehearsing what to say to the team before he gives them lollipops in 1x03. In 1x05, Malcolm tries to relate to JT by talking about “the game”, despite not really knowing what he’s talking about. He also uses very formal and academic language even when around people who may not understand and is, like JT says, “always overdressed” bc suits are what he feels comfortable in. He’s also repeatedly shown to have difficulty maintaining friendships and other personal relationships, despite having a gift for “reading” people. 

Infodumping: We see Malcolm do this twice; in 1x13 when he gets excited about The Count of Monte Cristo and starts talking about the plot of the book until Gil reminds him they just need to know the basics and again in 2x01 when he’s talking about the guillotine. 

Special interests: This goes with the above point, but Malcolm is shown to have a great knowledge on specific subjects (criminology, psychology, literature, antique weaponry). 

Copying body language: When Gil yells at him in 1x03 about pushing the dude off the roof, Malcolm doesn’t know how to position himself so he looks over to Dani and stands like she is, with his hands clasped in front. You see this again in 1x16 when Vijay punches Malcolm’s shoulder and calls him “buddy”, Malcolm repeats what he does.  

Fidgeting: Malcolm’s hands are always in motion. This could be an example of autistic stimming. 

Routine: Malcolm still sees his childhood therapist bc he’s resistant to change.

Inappropriate reactions to things that would upset others. 1x03: Malcolm asks Elaine Page (?) to sign his book despite just informing her that her colleague was murdered and doesn’t understand why she looks confused at his request. 1x07: Malcolm: They’re just now realizing the pleasure they feel from inflicting pain. JT: Could you at least try to sound disturbed by that? 1x09: Malcolm: Murder? Great! Uh, sorry, I don’t mean great as in...forget it.

Shut downs/going non verbal: Malcolm canonically did this after his father was arrested.

“One track mind:” Malcolm hyperfixates on murder cases. 

Issues with food: Has “same foods” (licorice) and in 1x12 makes a point about how he’s sensitive to the color of jello and can tell the different flavors apart even when the colors are very close. 

This is just what comes to mind first; like I said I’m working on a more in depth post. Check out my autistic Malcolm Bright tag if you want more examples/headcanons :)

[tyrusralvez]

okay but, now that we canonically have buck moving into eddie’s house while he’s away, i can indulge in my own delusions a little bit. particularly, i really want there to be a parallel to that ana “i think we need to clean that kitchen first” “maybe you should go home first first” breakup scene when eddie and chris come back.

i’m thinking, buck welcomes eddie and chris with a big elaborate lunch/dinner when they return, at the end of which he’s like “so, I’ve already packed most of my bags and i’m all set to spend some time at bobby’s until i find a new place to leave, so i’m just gonna clean the kitchen and then i’m gonna leave and let you guys settle back in”

to which eddie (who has freshly realized he’s gay and in love with buck back in el paso) responds with “or you could stay here”

[tyrusralvez]

Buck isn't in love with Eddie Diaz when he shoulder checks him in the gym on their first shift together or when they get dinner smelling like sweat, adreniline and a blown-up ambulance. Buck isn't in love with Eddie Diaz when he saves his son from the waves of disaster or when Eddie is shot and Buck tastes what his life would be like without him on his lips. Buck isn't in love with Eddie when he dies , when he lets Eddie's finger break his ribs and force his heart back into beating, or when he wakes up and hears him breathe out a sigh at the forgotten ventilator. Buck isn't in love with Eddie Diaz when he tells him he's leaving, when he packs his furniture into boxes or hands over a key Buck already has attached to his own. Buck isn't in love with Eddie Diaz because Eddie Diaz is straight. And when Maddie asks and Buck tells her so, she takes his hand in her own and says a simple, I'm not asking if he's in love with you Evan, I'm asking if you're in love with him. And Buck thinks, maybe, he's been in love since he watched the name DIAZ make a space next to his own on the lockers. Because BUCKLEY and DIAZ has a nice fucking ring to it.

[tyrusralvez]

(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms

[tyrusralvez]

Even if buddie does not go, cannon, I still get to talk about it as if it is. Simply because they have written it in such a way that they parallel not only Canon pairings in the show, but also just like general romantic love interests. Sure objectively if you ignore subtext, they are not together in any official capacity, however their storylines intersect as if they are romantic partners. 🙂‍↕️ and they can’t take that away from me

[tyrusralvez]

eddie's heart is literally splitting into two before our eyes. like. buck never expected him to choose between him and chris. we know this. eddie knows this. it was eddie projecting those feelings onto buck. because buck is a priority to him. because he doesn't want to leave him. because he loves him. to the core. but he will leave. because he loves christopher more. and eddie doesn't feel bad about that. not about christopher coming first. nor should he. but he does feel bad about leaving buck. like these two feelings can and do co-exist. he feels like leaving buck is a choice he's making. and he would not feel like that unless buck was not just important to him but. literally the most important person in the world to him next to christopher. moving to texas is a choice he has to tear himself in two to make. "you would lose everytime" means just that. it's an easy answer, a natural answer. it's his son. but the rest of it isn't easy. the reality of the choice. which is losing buck. isn't easy. and i think eddie wants buck to recognise that but without having to tell him. in the same way buck struggled to admit how much it was affecting him but wanted eddie to recognise that instead of having to tell him. this fight only happened because they're afraid to tell each other—to admit—how much they love and need each other. it's literally put a spotlight on everything they haven't been saying over the last several years. because well. we're almost there. we're almost at the point where they will tell each other.

[tyrusralvez]

one thing that i think is really interesting about buck and eddie's conflict and particularly their little not-fight at the end of the ep is that for literal years they've been using chris as a shield to talk about how they feel about each other. every declaration of trust or affection or whatever is spoken through christopher (there's no one in the world i trust with my son more than you. the will. etc etc) . but the thing about this time is that chris (by virtue of him being in texas) is the barrier. he's the thing effectively causing the conflict so they can't use him to hide behind. which means that almost for the first time ever we get them both actively vocalising what they mean to each other, irrespective of chris. i don't know what i'm gonna do without you. he knows how to stay, unlike some people. i'm having more trouble dealing with the idea of you not being around than i'd like to admit. i don't like it anymore than you do. like!!!!! they're admitting they don't want to be without each other!!!! they're admitting they don't want to be apart!!!!! and that is.....genuinely monumental when you consider how rarely they say it out loud (even if they show it in other ways). like the entire episode is basically just them both being irritable and upset bc they don't want to leave each other 😭😭😭

[tyrusralvez]

No but like. It is CONFIRMED that the loft set is gone. Meaning WE WON'T SEE THE LOFT AGAIN. Again, this has been confirmed! It is official! The set is gone!

Meaning that when Eddie comes back, Buck still lives in Eddie’s house.

Which either goes to Buddie canon. Or Buddie roommates era until Buck finds a place of his own.

[tyrusralvez]

i’ve seen so many people focusing on the fact that in the eddie/abby parallel, abby doesn’t turn/look back at buck when she leaves but eddie does. but is anyone talking about how when abby walked away BUCK turned and left, but when eddie left, buck stayed there and watched.