Valentina José | it/they/she | 24 y/o woman-adjacent beast-thing | aguadillana | 18+ only please! this is my main blog where I post about whatever, but some of that is funny nsfw posts and tame-ish tf fetish art | icon by @girlboyburger, header art by Zachary Braun
i hate when people call marcille a girlfailure btw like SHE ISNT. and shes not a ”girlboss” either. this is a neurotic and Permanently On The Edge of a Breakdown overachiever late 20s virgin just out of her phd program with permanently shaky hands from an addiction to overly sugary coffee and a deep desire to be crushed to death under falins giant jugs no matter the cost. the only thing shes ever ”failed” at is going to theraphy
Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.
You look back, and try to remember. You think about the feeling in your throat at the end of the day, the weight of regrets, of neglecting yourself, of crying too much, of saying too little, of learning to give up. And you think about what it felt like to want to get out of there, to really get out, to get so close to a way out, to an answer, and then, you don't want to remember anything anymore
You look back at the softness of your skin, of the palm of your hands, the gentleness of a sunset peaking through the window while you were too busy doing nothing. You try remembering the length of your hair back then. You remember realizing the people you care about didn't care about you. You think about why you don't look out the window anymore. It hurts. You feel nauseous
You don't tell this to anyone, of course. You shrink, you abandon yourself. You're restless. You wonder if you're misremembering things. You had hopeful eyes once, yet you look at them, you stare, and try to articulate what's gone, but it's the same look you've always had. You can't remember when you didn't have that deep, vacant look in your eyes. You feel like it's always been there. You don't want to look back again. You'd rather not remember