tzikeh

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

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Forge upside-down.

If you try to write out a signature that isn't yours, your natural writing style will creep into it (unless you are a seasoned and talented forger). Turn their signature upside-down, and then draw the shapes and lines you see. Now turn them both rightside-up and compare. Practice the bits that look off. This is the quickest way to learn to forge a signature.

if any minors are following me

always make sure to start forging parents' signatures on the first day of class. that way, your teachers won't know that you've been forging signatures for the rest of the year

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Happy fuckin' deadly laser Pride everybody stay hydrated and slather on the SPF

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please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

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And here's a link to the YouTube Channel in question!

Here's today's video (6/20/2025)

Since the actual CDC is being blocked from posting updates on outbreaks, I will do it myself.

As of June 19, 2025, a total of 1,214 confirmed* measles cases were reported by 36 jurisdictions: Alaska, Arkansas, Arizona, California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York City, New York State, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont, Virginia, and Washington.

There have been 23 outbreaks** reported in 2025, and 89% of confirmed cases (1,081 of 1,214) are outbreak-associated. For comparison, 16 outbreaks were reported during 2024 and 69% of cases (198 of 285) were outbreak-associated.

*CDC is aware of probable measles cases being reported by jurisdictions. However, the data on this page only includes confirmed cases.

**CDC reports the cumulative number of measles outbreaks (defined as 3 or more related cases) that have occurred this year in the U.S.; states have the most up-to-date information about cases and outbreaks in their jurisdictions.

Please check your local health department to check on the risk in your area and follow their recommendations to avoid infection. Most cases are in the unvaccinated population, so if you are able to get the MMR vaccine and haven’t already, please reach out to your doctor to get that done

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Dr. Demento, Dickie Goodman, and Jaws

After finding out that Dr. Demento is hanging it up, and upon the 50th anniversary of Jaws, here--have a deep cut from my childhood.

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I know that some British people take umbridge at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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Books on Libby have started disappearing.

My friend pointed it out first, and then I started noticing too. Why would books that multiple libraries definitely, 100% had digital access to a couple of months/weeks/days ago disappear?

Amazon is getting exclusive rights to them.

Ebooks that the public library once had digital copies of are now only available through Amazon. Audible boasts on their covers about Audible-exclusive audiobooks that did not used to be Audible-exclusive. Entire series and collections are disappearing overnight.

Keep your eyes on the privatization of media and your libraries.

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if you are going to need some kind of sedative for 4th of july fireworks for your pets NOW IS THE TIME TO SCHEDULE THOSE APPOINTMENTS TO ASK FOR THEM

NOT WHEN ITS 2 DAYS AWAY

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If this does not get you engaged, nothing will.

Republican fascists will not be going silently into the night. Centrism is dead.

Go left and stay left.

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Keep track of the vocabulary, everyone.

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That 22-year-old in Wisconsin who died because he couldn't afford his asthma inhaler, because his employer's insurance company changed the list of medications they'd pay for?

Guess which insurance company that was.

So, they're clearly doing what they're being accused of not doing. I guess they're just not killing people fast enough for the shareholders.

United Healthcare getting sued by its investors, because it didn't warn them that the CEO getting murdered (by the tendrils of their unmitigated greed) was going to lead to them approving more claims (for covered services that they had no right to deny) is a cartoonish example of exactly why their CEO got murdered.

Their argument is essentially "You promised us a specific profit margin that is not possible to achieve under this increased public scrutiny of your unethical practices. We only agreed to invest because of those unethical practices. So we demand compensation because you didn't warn us that you'd be behaving more ethically"

And idk. Satire isn't just dead. We've pissed on its corpse and now it's dissolving in lye.