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Barbara: You are not going to believe what I found in Damian's laptop. It's actually a little worrying.

Bruce: Should I be worried as a father or as Batman?

Barbara: *So and so hand motion*

Bruce: *deep breath* What did you find?

Barbara: He has files upon files about a boy named Daniel Fenton. Apparently, he's been following him around for months documenting everything there is about him because, and I quote, "Fenton generates a airborne illness targeting humans. Symptoms include: Quicken heart, sweaty palms, flushing in the face, upset stomach and difficulty in speech."

Bruce: So he has a crush and instead of handling it in a healthy normal way, Damian just assumed that this Fenton boy is patient zero? And now he's stalking the boy to prove it.

Barbara: That's a good summary, yeah. Oh and he's doing it as Damian Wayne. I'm also like ninety-nine percent sure Fenton is aware of Damian following him around.

Bruce defeated: Of course he is. How bad is Fenton handling it?

Barbara: Suprisingly, I think he finds it funny. I hacked Fenton's messages to his friends back in Amity Park and he has described Damian as "A cute human trying to be a proper ghost in courting."

Bruce: What does that mean?

Barbara shrugging: Local teenage slang most likely. Other teenagers in Amity Park talk like that a lot from what I could dig up. In any case, you need to have a chat with Damian.

Bruce sighing: I'll dig up the old puberty books and speak with Damian tonight. There goes my bubble bath time....

Barbara patting his shoulder: May you one day soak for hours without your kids doing something stupid.

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being on tumblr is like being in a car in a parking lot

like it's technically public, but you're also sorta in your own little bubble, and people have to be Actively trying to listen in order to hear you, if they're even aware that you're speaking at all. and then sometimes you accidentally bonk the horn with ur elbow and suddenly the whole parking lot knows you're a virgin

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Poor Dick :(

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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They’re matching :))

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Danny homeless panhandling: Excuse me, sir, do you have a dollar you can lend? I just need one more to afford a combo meal at Batburger.

Bruce: Certainly, here you are, young man. *walks away*

Danny: Wait, sir! You accidentally gave me a $100 bill!

Bruce: *Pretends not to hear feeling good about giving money to a homeless child*

Danny: SIR! SIR! YOU MADE A MISTAKE, SIR! Oh dang, I lost him, welp. I guess I have to return this to him on another day.

The following day: *Danny spotting Bruce on his way to work*

Danny: SIR! SIR YOU GAVE ME THE WRING BILL YESTERDAY

Bruce: *Confused but breaking into a jog to avoid taking back the money*

Danny: SIR! SIR WAIT. THE MONEY! TAKE IT BACK! Dang, lost him again!

A month later:

Bruce: *Sprinting full force down the street in a fancy suit looking to be attempting a track record*

Danny: *Right behind him waving a bill*

Coffee cart vendor: There they go

Hotdog cart Vendor: You think the kid would give up by now or at least get mugged after yelling he had an extra $100.

Coffee guy: Nah, the kid has morals, and apparently, three Black belts. Plus a knife.

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watching a movie at home circa like, 2001 was like

put your TV on channel 2 so the VCR will work

open up the clamp shell case that held the VHS that has that satisfying crrlikkkkkk

put in the movie

gdi it has to be rewound

press STOP and then rewind because its so much faster that way

start the movie and it takes a few seconds for the movie to actually start cause you rewound to the VERY beginning

FBI will get you if you illegally distribute or exhibit this movie

and then. because you forgot that movies are always so much louder than TV

COMING SOON TO OWN ON VIDEO AND DVD

QUICK LOWER THE VOLUME LOWER THE VOLUME LOWER THE VOLUME OH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay crisis averted.

although. these ads are kind of quiet. a little hard to hear.....

better turn up the volume...

THX

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Danny barging into the wayne mansion wearing a hoddie and holding a tray of fudge.

"WHERE IS THE OLD MAN?!"

All the bats and birds panicing bc a random broke theu their security measures. Bruce being first to look at him"hey now, i dont think i'm~"

he gets cut off by Danny. "NOT YOU! THE OLD MAN!"

Alfred steps out of the dining room fixing his gloves and suit. Before he can speak danny shoves the plate of fudge in his hands"Happy fathers day from thomas and his wife. They have not stopped hounding me for weeks. And im tired. Please tell me i can say their baby brucie is fine." He says half pleading.

Alfred breaks a small smile before laughing lightly"yes indeed. They are doing well. I am so terribly sorry to have put you in this position. Perhaps we can make it up to you by having you stay for dinner?"

Bruce and the kids are glading ready for a fight unsure of how to interact in this moment."Umm Alfred, do you know this kid?" Dick asks breaking the silence.

Danny turns to him"are you baby brucie? Bc i swear to ancients i need to punch you and i hope you are an adult." Silence as crickets sounds before dick breaks down laughing."no he is behind you ready to punch you himself. Can umm you explain?"

Danny pauses thinking a moment before amiling"you offered me free food. I will gladly accept! Oh! That reminds me! The fudge isnt poisoned or ecto contaminated. So it is safe for normal humans to consume as well as whatever the hell you all are." He waves and follows Alfred theu to the kitchen.

Bruce panic buttons the rest to come home for dinner. This is gonna be a long night.

Meanwhile tim is texting Kon to being supes and jon with him to dinner tonight. Things are about to be spicy!

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Danny barging into the wayne mansion wearing a hoddie and holding a tray of fudge.

"WHERE IS THE OLD MAN?!"

All the bats and birds panicing bc a random broke theu their security measures. Bruce being first to look at him"hey now, i dont think i'm~"

he gets cut off by Danny. "NOT YOU! THE OLD MAN!"

Alfred steps out of the dining room fixing his gloves and suit. Before he can speak danny shoves the plate of fudge in his hands"Happy fathers day from thomas and his wife. They have not stopped hounding me for weeks. And im tired. Please tell me i can say their baby brucie is fine." He says half pleading.

Alfred breaks a small smile before laughing lightly"yes indeed. They are doing well. I am so terribly sorry to have put you in this position. Perhaps we can make it up to you by having you stay for dinner?"

Bruce and the kids are glading ready for a fight unsure of how to interact in this moment."Umm Alfred, do you know this kid?" Dick asks breaking the silence.

Danny turns to him"are you baby brucie? Bc i swear to ancients i need to punch you and i hope you are an adult." Silence as crickets sounds before dick breaks down laughing."no he is behind you ready to punch you himself. Can umm you explain?"

Danny pauses thinking a moment before amiling"you offered me free food. I will gladly accept! Oh! That reminds me! The fudge isnt poisoned or ecto contaminated. So it is safe for normal humans to consume as well as whatever the hell you all are." He waves and follows Alfred theu to the kitchen.

Bruce panic buttons the rest to come home for dinner. This is gonna be a long night.

Meanwhile tim is texting Kon to being supes and jon with him to dinner tonight. Things are about to be spicy!

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Some robins designs so they’re not just “kid with a mask and curtain bangs”

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Danny: Welcome to Danny' Scoop! Where ice cream and Happy News meet. How can I help you?

Jon: Hi! Okay, I want the Sunshine Daily, extra sprinkles, extra peanuts, and lots of chocolate syrup!

Danny: You got it, and for your friend?

Damian: Pecan.

Jon: You don't want to try anything from the Wacky News menu? They have dummies!

Damian: Pecan. In a cup.

Danny: Sweet and simple. I like it. One second.

Damian: So this is a ice-cream shop with a old time newspaper gimmick?

Jon: Yeah, it's so cool! He gives happy news tapped to the cones or ice cream. Or he gives you a chance to reach into the New Coverage bag for a prize!

Damian: Its....cute.

Jon: I know that Damian for "I think its stupid"

Damian: I'm not a child. I don't need this positivity whenever I want something sweet how-

Random kid: Mom, look at the New Coverage Prize I just pulled! I get to pet a penguin at the zoo!

Damian slapping a wad of cash on the counter: I want everything off the Wacky Menu, and I want a chance to pull a prize.

Jon: I knew you would love it!

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Tumblr, I propose a battle of wits!

I have put Iocaine powder in one of these two goblets. You choose, then we both drink.

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Can’t take the Robin out of the boy

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Dick and Bruce's arguments are even louder as batbeasts.

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God forbid women have hobbies

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AKLSJDKLJ I love drawing dick with long hair. But as much as I loved the idea of the first Robin having long hair, even I know Bruce would never let him (It broke his heart cutting his hair)

Too much risk between some crook using it to grab him as Robin an recognizing him off the costume.

And when Dick run after quitting Robin, he let his hair grow back again (Kinda canon if you remember... THAT haircut...)

And also, I think I'll be responding Ask in this way! And if you think your ask is not gonna be responded because it has been like- 4 months- NO BABY, I'M GONNA RESPOND I SWEAR. I'm just... Trying to follow my own schedule of 3 days between posts