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listen I don't wanna be a hateful person 24/7 but I must rant about my deep and passionate hatred for April fools day. NONE of these brands are funny. no prank is funny. I'm UNAMUSED. we need to just call this day march 32nd and let it be

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my top 5 of each 75 album (in no particular order);

ST

sex

settle down

head.cars.bending

menswear

pressure

iliwys (by far the hardest to choose)

if I believe you

UGH!

love me

ballad of me and my brain

lostmyhead

abiior

I like America and America likes me

love it if we made it

inside your mind

it's not living (if it's not with you)

I couldn't be more in love

noacf

people

what should I say

if you're too shy (let me know)

nothing revealed/everything denied

I think there's something you should know

bfiafl

part of the band

human too

the 1975

about you

looking for somebody (to love)

unrealised favs (including DLID);

28

the 1975 bfiafl but minus Jack's production

102

lost boys

the Go

ghosts

cover of grand theft autumn by fob

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ik I literally used to write fanfic and didn't do this but GOD I'd love more disability rep in fanfic. is it a niche and possibly weird thing to want representation in? PERHAPS. but being able to read fic where the oc/reader is in a wheelchair/uses a mobility aid would be so sick. I never wrote it because I was worried about excluding/pissing off able bodied people but in hindsight I just should've done it!!!

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idk how to post about this without being kinda melodramatic, but just here to say I'm now in *soft* retirement from writing! I really enjoyed it for a couple years, but unless something really inspiring comes around, I'm mostly done for now. thank you all for all the support though, it's meant the world to me :)

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prof!matty c*ckwarming while he’s grading papers 🤭

elle u are my fav ily

sooo you had been unbearably needy all day while matty was at work, thinking about how he’d most likely come home and lay you down on the bed—always spoiling his sweet girl. it’s become a routine you’ve grown quite accustomed to.

unfortunately for you, he comes through the front door looking flustered instead of relieved after his lectures. he quickly sheds his coat and toes his shoes off before walking over to you and giving you a sweet kiss. he mutters a little apology, explaining he had to finish some work and walks straight into his home office.

you follow him, because of course that just wouldn’t do. you’ve been waiting for hours.

“matty, you’ve been gone all day. you need a break, baby,” you coo, frowning when you already see him sitting in his chair and getting started on work. your hands travel across his broad shoulders as you come up behind him, just the smell of him making you need him even more.

he sighs, “i’ve got to finish grading these papers. i’d just be another hour or two, alright?”

you lean down, pressing your lips to his scruffy cheek and moving your hands to undo the top button of his shirt. “a little break might help you get through it though, no?”

he reaches for one of your hands, kissing it tenderly. “darling, if i get in that bed with you right now i’m not getting any work done for the rest of the night.”

you giggle, littering a few more kisses down his neck before you’re bending down to crawl under the desk.

he needs to get these papers graded as his students’ final grades were due in a few days. he simply couldn’t give you his undivided attention until this was finished.

“would you behave, please?” he mutters, shaking his head as he peers down at you. you kneel between his legs, squishing your cheek comfortably against his thigh.

“just let me get you off, daddy,” you breathe, reaching a hand up to palm his clothed cock. he groans, beginning to harden against your hand.

“fuck—” he grunts, grabbing your wrist to halt your actions. “such a little slut.”

you whine, looking up at him with the best puppy dog eyes you can muster up. he lets go of your hand to hold your jaw, his cold rings feeling like ice on your warm skin. he feels a bit guilty, truly not wanting to be apart from you any longer. he runs his thumb over your lips, his other hand now resting on his belt.

“how about you warm my cock with this slutty little mouth? show daddy you deserve to be fucked when i’m done with this, hm?” he raises a brow, smirking when he sees how fast you start nodding your head.

“please,” you moan, watching him give in, taking his hard cock out of his pants. your cunt drips in anticipation as the clanks of his belt fill your ears.

he curses as he frees himself, wrapping his hand around his cock. precum leaks out of his tip and you can’t resist leaning in closer to lick it. his ringed hand goes up to your hair, guiding you closer. your lips part for his length.

you gaze up at him as you take him into your throat, shifting on your knees. your panties had to be soaked through, pussy aching to be touched.

“good girl, that’s it,” he praises, already looking back up at his laptop now that he could see the hazy look in your eye. it’s hard to focus on anything other than the weight of his cock on your tongue and the arousal between your legs. “much better like this, huh, my sweet girl?”

he pets your hair sweetly as you nod against his thigh, now somehow feeling completely at ease. his hands shift through piles of papers on his desk and then his fingers fly across his keyboard, entering grades as you kneel there pathetically.

if you could think properly you would’ve been amazed at how focused he can be on his work while his cock was in your mouth, but you can’t seem to do anything other than moan at his periodic praises.

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STOOOOOOP USING AI OHMYGOD. YES THAT MEANS YOU ASKING CHAT GPT WHAT A RECIPE FOR LEMON CAKE IS. OR TO ANSWER YOUR CLASS QUIZ QUESTIONS. YES THAT MEANS YOU USING AN AI FILTER ON TIKTOK TO SEE WHAT YOUR UGLY FUCKING DOG LOOKS LIKE AS A JELLY CAT. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE "WHAT I'D LOOK LIKE CHUBBY" AI FILTER. THERES NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE WROLD TO GET THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS. I MEAN EVERY SINGLE FUCKER ON EARTH TOUCHING THIS SHIT. S T O P. CAN'T YOU PEOPLE DO ANYTHING ANYMORE?!?!!?

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the cows they are mooing

I honestly don't know what this means but if it's in regards to the new matty image, I agree. or if it's in regards to real cows, I also agree

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give me a hair tie and 5 minutes. please please please.

HELLO

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I’m not even making it a full rotation

honestly fairs me too. I'm already one fall away from dying I feel like chucking me in a microwave would just make me evaporate

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i want to come out like a over cooked tv dinner -🪤

I feel like you could do this microwave-less if you just camped out in a tanning bed for 24 hours. you'd pop out like a freeze dried steak

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its warm and compact id say atleast a hour. -🪤

an HOUR!?!?!? you're gonna come out full of radiation poisoning. but i admire your faith in yourself

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how long do you think you could survive in the microwave? I think I'd max out at 5 seconds, I'm fragile enough already

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matty sticking his fingers down my throat when????? (sorry) (not really)

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am I the only person with actually 0 desire to meet the boys??? like the very idea of it makes me break out in hives. I'm more than happy viewing them from a safe distance thank you

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be my mistake is SO all those dreams where you're my wife coded how did i not see this before

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I wanna write but nothing is inspiring me wahhh. 20000 wips and nothing is FUN.

(p.s my full fic requests are open again so if anyone has any ideas...)

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gabb's insta story... are we finally getting a BOOK?!?!?!?!