ugunturgunawan

[ugunturgunawan]

9 March 2025

Two weeks have passed since I last posted on Tumblr.

In the first week, I went skiing at Erciyes Mountain again, and by the next day (Sunday), I was completely exhausted, so I couldn’t write a story to post. In the second week, adapting to Ramadan made it difficult for me to manage my time systematically on both weekdays and weekends.

These past three weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me. At the same time, they have also been incredibly memorable because I experienced something I had dreamed of achieving 10 years ago. Although the final announcement hasn't been made yet, I have already received a notification that I am on the path to reaching my dream.

On February 22, when I went skiing at Erciyes Mountain, it became an unforgettable experience. The temperature on the mountain was -16°C, with a real feel of -22°C—probably the coldest I have ever experienced in my life. The weather was unpredictable; it was sunny in the morning but turned windy and misty in the afternoon. I had to wait in line for a ski pass for 1.5 hours due to issues with electricity and the internet. Standing in that freezing queue was tough, but thankfully, I am a patient person. Hehe.

I had the chance to explore the Tekir-Hisarcık-Hacılar track, which was an incredible experience. However, I forgot to bring ski poles, so whenever the track was flat, it was really difficult for me to move forward—it took a lot of time. Another challenge I faced was when I took the chairlift. The electricity went out again, and I got stuck midway while strong winds made the cold even worse. Oh my God.

The hardest part was returning from Hacılar to Hisarcık. The flat track was extremely long, and the snow was very soft, making it a real challenge. Fortunately, I love challenges, adventures, and—again—I am a patient person. Hehe. On the last track, I even fell and rolled down, but thanks to my helmet, my head was protected, and I was safe. Alhamdulillah.

Aside from my amazing skiing experience at Erciyes, I also want to share something about reaching one of my biggest dreams and goals in life. However, since the result is only 99% confirmed and not yet 100%, I will talk about it later. But the most important lesson I learned from this journey is: I’m not as bad as I thought, All is well and I can do it.

[ugunturgunawan]

16 February 2025

This week, I received some good news from my wife—our second child's tuberculosis treatment has officially ended, as confirmed by his pediatrician. The treatment began six months ago when we noticed he wasn't reaching the expected milestones for his age. After a check-up, he was diagnosed with tuberculosis. It was a shocking moment for both of us, especially for my wife, as I couldn’t be there to accompany him through the treatment. She handled everything on her own, and she did an amazing job. I’m so grateful that this chapter is finally over.

However, last week, we were hit with another piece of difficult news—our son has shown signs of speech delay. His treatment will begin next week. I really hope it won’t take too long and that he can catch up with his developmental milestones soon.

As for me, this week has been a rollercoaster. My motivation at work fluctuates unpredictably—like a sine wave, sometimes at zero, sometimes at one, and sometimes even at negative one. On top of that, I've been feeling anxious about my future. I find myself constantly questioning what path I should take—should I continue as an engineer, switch to research, become a lecturer, or even start my own business? I don’t know. This uncertainty has been weighing on me.

I reached out to a friend to talk things through, and our conversation helped. He shared some insights from a book he had read:

Change your mindset—no one in this world is perfect; everyone has their own struggles.

When you start doubting yourself too much, take a moment to write down your achievements and strengths.

Keep track of the compliments you receive and remind yourself of them when self-doubt creeps in.

Stop comparing yourself to others.

These words gave me a lot to think about. I hope I can apply them and move forward with more clarity.

“Maybe we're all just people who work hard and get lucky sometimes but don't always excel all the time. Maybe we're just people who try our best and that's actually enough.” from book Failure.

[ugunturgunawan]

I forget what the temperature was when I visited Hokkaido in winter nine years ago. But now, in Ankara, I think this is the lowest real-feel temperature I have ever experienced—unless I've simply forgotten a colder one.

[ugunturgunawan]

9 February 2025

This week has been overwhelming, draining my energy, mind, and mental strength. I heard from my wife that our second child was diagnosed with speech delay symptoms by his pediatrician. This news shocked and deeply saddened her. With his tuberculosis treatment still ongoing, now a new concern has emerged.

As a father, I felt useless because I couldn't be there to support my second child's development. And when my wife was in shock, I couldn’t help her stay strong because I was also overwhelmed, blaming myself for being a useless husband and father. But I realize now that my reaction was wrong—I shouldn’t judge myself so harshly. Instead, I should be a source of strength for my wife, providing her with positive thoughts and encouragement.

For almost two days, I was deeply stressed. I had planned to go to Erciyes this Saturday, but I ended up canceling it. Previously, because of my Erciyes trip, I had declined a meetup invitation from someone who has inspired me for the past ten years. He is a well-known Tumblr writer and book author, and for the past two years, he has been my teacher in a personal development class. I really wanted to meet him, but since his invitation was last-minute and I already had plans, I couldn’t go to Istanbul to see him. That made me very sad. Perhaps it just wasn’t the right time or destiny for us to meet this week in Türkiye.

Feeling overwhelmed, I decided not to go to Erciyes after all. I wanted to take two days to calm my mind in my apartment. But then another challenge arose. A friend from Indonesia had planned a trip to Central Asia this week and needed to book a flight with Turkish Airlines (THY). Because the prices in USD and IDR were different, she asked me to help her pay in TRY. I agreed, and she transferred the money to me in IDR, which I then converted to TRY.

However, a problem occurred—my Turkish bank account had a transaction limit, so the payment failed. We tried nearly five times, but it was unsuccessful. I hadn’t realized that my account had such limitations for online transactions. Fortunately, there was another payment method: a direct transfer to THY’s bank account. I suggested this option, and she agreed.

But then I made a foolish mistake—when I completed the transfer, I entered the wrong amount, off by just 0.5 TL. I hadn’t noticed the extra “.50” in the total. When I realized it, I quickly tried to send the remaining 0.50 TL, but by the time the transfer went through, the payment deadline had already passed, and the flight ticket wasn’t issued. I had no idea what to do. I really hope this issue gets resolved soon. It was my fault for entering the wrong amount. I reached out to THY customer service via WhatsApp, and they informed me that unsuccessful payments would be refunded within five business days. Let’s see if it gets resolved by Friday.

The biggest lesson I learned this week is that I need to stay calm when facing challenges and problems. I must improve my emotional regulation and handle situations with a clearer mind. Everything will be okay as long as we keep trying and praying. In the end, it’s all part of God's plan. I believe there must be wisdom behind these difficulties. I’ll keep pushing forward for the future.

[ugunturgunawan]

02 February 2025

This week, I want to share something about wants and needs. One night, I suddenly craved seblak. It was something I wanted, not something I needed, because I had already eaten dinner. But for some reason, the thought of seblak just popped into my head—maybe because I miss Indonesian food so much.

I prepared raw crackers and chili powder. I boiled the crackers for about two minutes, then put them in a bowl and sprinkled broth powder and chili powder on top. I accidentally added too much chili powder, but I thought it wouldn't be a problem.

Seblak has been one of my favorite foods since childhood. Once it was ready, I started eating it—but my mouth was on fire because it was so spicy! I drank water and milk, but it was still burning. I just hoped my stomach would be okay.

I have no regrets about eating seblak that night, but maybe I need to work on controlling the difference between what I need and what I want.

[ugunturgunawan]

All is well, Gun! No one blames you. Long-distance marriage has never been easy. Be grateful and patient. Running can help clear your mind and ease your overthinking.

[ugunturgunawan]

26 Januari 2025

This week, I feel like I cannot sleep early every night. This has made me feel a bit tired when I wake up, as if I haven’t had enough rest. Sometimes, I extend my sleep by about 30 minutes, which causes me to skip my morning workout. It feels like I’m anxious every night before going to sleep, and this even happens on weekends. To address this, I plan to read a book and avoid using my phone before bed. I hope this will help me sleep better.

I’ve also been feeling worried about the future this week. Maybe it’s because I feel bored and exhausted from living in a long-distance marriage with my wife and children. I know I need to be more patient. I really hope this long-distance arrangement will end soon, and I can be with my wife and family again.

To manage my anxiety, I went for a 1-hour run on Saturday and Sunday. It helped me feel better.

[ugunturgunawan]

19 Jan 2025 - Third Week of 2015

Last week, I didn’t post anything on Tumblr because I felt exhausted after traveling to Bursa on Saturday, January 11. On Sunday, my gastritis flared up, and I also had a headache, so I couldn’t manage to post.

This week, I feel like my productivity at work hasn’t been very high, similar to the usual weeks in the previous month. However, I did manage to achieve some results from my efforts. Also, someone approached me on LinkedIn, which, as usual, triggered my tendency to overthink. But this time, I think I can handle it without overthinking for too long. I pray to Allah to guide me toward the best fate and destiny for my future. Maybe I’ll write more about this in a future post.

This week, I went to Kayseri again to ski at Erciyes. Unlike my last visit in December, when I went alone, this time I brought my friends along to ski together. None of them had any skiing experience—it was their first time. So, I arranged for a coach from Endonezskay because I couldn’t manage teaching all of them by myself. Unlike last month, I only rode the gondola once this time, as I needed to focus on ensuring my friends could ski safely. I hope I can visit Erciyes Mountain again next month for more skiing.

[ugunturgunawan]

5 Jan 2025 - First Week at 2025

This year began with a gathering of Indonesian friends on the rooftop balcony of our apartment. We had a barbecue, ate, and chatted together in the freezing weather, which was around 0 degrees Celsius. Later, I went back to my room to sleep and woke up at around 7 a.m.

It has been about nine months since I first set foot in Türkiye. I’ve experienced so many new things—both good and bad. New friends, new places, new journeys, new lessons, new insights, and new daily routines. I still don’t know how much longer I will live in this country.

In the first five days of 2025, I’m still battling my own laziness, especially during holidays or when I have free time. I have an ongoing course on Udemy, but I’m struggling to get started with it. However, there are moments when I manage to push past the laziness. I believe this fight against laziness is a lifelong challenge. We just need to manage it—allowing ourselves some laziness but not for too long. Even during holidays or free time, we should aim to stay productive.

I want to make it a habit to post at least once a week on Tumblr in English, sharing what I’ve been through during the week—whether it’s insights, memorable moments, or good and bad experiences. I hope I can stay consistent with this goal, starting from the first week to the last week of 2025

[ugunturgunawan]

Çok uzun zaman oldu, Tumblr!

It's been a long time since I opened Tumblr and shared stories on it. I last shared a public story in August 2022 and a private story in February 2023. It seems like I want to start sharing stories again here. It's now May 2024, 2 months since I set foot in Ankara, Turkey. I feel like I've been in Ankara for a long time, like it's been 6 months, but when I look at the calendar, I left Indonesia for Turkey at the end of March, it turns out that I've only been in Ankara for 2 months. Perhaps it is the spice of longing for my family that makes this time pass slowly. There are so many stories from the past two months. I want to share them all, but it seems like it takes a lot of effort to do that. What is certain is that I am very grateful that Allah has destined me to experience this process of life in Ankara, which I do not know how long I will be here. Gunes, May 25, 2024

[ugunturgunawan]

Kunci motor hilang entah dimana. Terakhir pas nyampe parkiran kantor, terus seperti biasa dimasukin ke jaket. Pas pulang kantor menuju parkiran, baru ngeuh kunci motor ga ada. Sepertinya jatuh dari jaket pas jalan dari parkiran ke gedung atau pas jalan pulang dari gedung ke parkiran. Sudah tracking balik lagi ke gedung dan ruangan, ternyata ga ada. Lapor pos satpam juga ga ada. Semoga ada yang nemuin terus dikasih ke pos satpam. Semoga bisa kembali dengan selamat. Aamiin. Apakah ini efek dosa overthinking sepanjang perjalanan berangkat dari rumah ke kantor tadi pagi. Wallahu'alam.

Stasiun Cikudapateuh, 3 Agustus 2022 yang akhirnya harus pulang ke rumah naik kereta.

[ugunturgunawan]

Rasa bersalah yang telah disembuhkan oleh penerimaan, bisa jadi tergores kembali, entah itu karena ingatan yang tiba-tiba muncul di pikiran atau karena ucapan dan tindakan orang lain. Penerimaan itu memang butuh diupgrade setiap waktunya, sampai diri ini mencapai tahap ikhlas walaupun itu sulit. Ketika rasa bersalah itu hadir lagi, bisa jadi itu menjadi ladang untuk beristighfar dan berhamdalah serta latihan untuk terus bisa meregulasi emosi.

IAe, 3 Agustus 2022 ketika pagi-pagi sebelum berangkat dan ketika di perjalanan menuju tempat kerja, kepala dipenuhi kembali oleh overthinking dan rasa bersalah.

[ugunturgunawan]

Bebersih Page Tumblr

Setelah kemarin bersih-bersih timeline dengan cara unfollow 2 akun, sekarang bersih-bersih page tumblr sendiri, dengan menghapus semua postingan reblog. Asa pabalatak gitu liatna. Hehe. Biarkan jadi halaman dengan postingan sendiri aja, kan jadi lebih enak diliatnya. Sekalian nostalgia curhatan waktu di Jepang dan Korea serta cerita awal-awal naik gunung. Kangennya. 

Sebelumnya page sendiri dipenuhi sama reblog akun digimon sama masgun. Biarkan postingan masgun lewat di timeline saja kemudian diresapi sendiri tanpa harus direblog. Ngomong-ngomong soal masgun, saya tahu beliau ya dari tumblr ini, udah 8 tahunan ternyata jadi follower tumblr beliau, terus follow IGnya, terus ikutan Career Class 2022 deh, keputusan terbaik tahun lalu untuk daftar program tersebut, investasi leher ke atas yang tidak rugi sama sekali dan sangat bermanfaat Terima kasih Tumblr.

GCI, 28 Juli 2022

[ugunturgunawan]

Unfollow 2 Akun

Setelah unfollow 2 akun, jadi enak banget ya ngeliat timeline Tumblr. Rapi gitu. Cuma ngeliatin cerita temen-temen yang emang dikenal. Baca cerita-cerita mereka dan se-asik itu. Mungkin saya ikutan aja gitu yak berbagi cerita di Tumblr, setelah beberapa lama ini cuma dipendem sendiri aja di kepala.

IAe, 27 Juli 2022

[ugunturgunawan]

Ada salju ada kedinginan. Sangat menyukai salju tapi tidak menyukai kedinginan.

Kigoyama, 18 Februari 2016

[ugunturgunawan]

가을, 사랑해요 🍁❤

[ugunturgunawan]

:)