ukrainiangarbage - Tumblr blog

[ukrainiangarbage]

my favorite hobby is disappearing off the face of the planet only to pop back in for like five minutes before repeating the process hi how are you

@ukrainiangarbage welcome back

[ukrainiangarbage]

"so tired of the childrens hospital jokes" "stop running horse plinko into the ground" you're entering the circus hut and complaining when there are clowns there

[ukrainiangarbage]

Manwh0re Jaeger

[ukrainiangarbage]

[ukrainiangarbage]

[ukrainiangarbage]

Girls will be like Idk why im so unproductive recently and then you ask whats going on in their life and they list eight lifestopping crisies and then say ‘yeah but i should be fine :/ ’

[ukrainiangarbage]

[ukrainiangarbage]

If you’re not ready to fight an alligator over your best friend dont even think about coming to Florida

[ukrainiangarbage]

[ukrainiangarbage]

Things I've heard my (cis/het) brother say while he's been in college for the last year:

-(Heard over the phone) “I don’t care WHAT is in your pants or what you identify as, GET THE FUCKING PISS OFF THE TOILET SEAT” - “I don’t get why some men like to call themselves straight and then say they’d never date a Trans woman because honestly if you’re willing to exclude an entire subsection of women based on something so stupid you’re probably not worth their time anyways” -“I don’t know why some guys worry about gay men in the locker rooms because if I was a gay guy, even I wouldn’t date me. I’ve been wearing the same shirt for three days.“ -(Over spring break) “How the fuck do you make Kraft mac&cheese” -“What do you mean it’s written on the box– WAIT SHIT IT IS” -“I hit on a lesbian two weeks ago in the SU without knowing it and I still feel bad about it” -“I honestly think I’d prefer living with a (Trans) person at this point because if they’re even as half as cool as you then it’s got to be better than living with two 19 year old boys who have fucking competitions of who can piss farther on the ceiling” -“For some reason even in college guys don’t seem to get that the only reason I get so many girls’ numbers is because I treat them like I would treat anyone else” -“No seriously they think you have to act uninterested or like a dick for some reason” -“No I don’t know why they think hitting on a lesbian is anything but a lot of secondhand embarrassment for the rest of us” -“My roommate came into the room looking really dejected and when I asked why he said that he spent hours talking to this girl just to find out that she had a boyfriend the whole time and didn’t say anything” (And after me asking why it mattered) “I dunno, apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of friends” -(After me saying I don’t get heterosexuals sometimes) “Even I don’t understand straight guys little dude, and I am one”

[ukrainiangarbage]

Rebellious girls in the 1920s wanted to anger and shock their Victorian-era parents, so not only would they bare their knees with short dresses, but they would also paint pictures to make sure an onlooker didn’t miss their risque hem length. Rolled stockings became a fad with the shorter hemlines, and girls would go get roses, butterflies, ocean scenes, or their dogs’ faces painted on their knees to further push their boundaries. Much like with most makeup in women’s history, this wasn’t just an act of creativity, but an assertion of independence. After World War I, more women gained financial independence with work, broke away from chaperoned parlor dates, and became a part of the public by walking the city streets without a guardian. The new generation felt a need to express this clear break from the old era of Gibson Girls and Victorian women, and they did so with the help of paint and knee rouge. “Because of rolled stockings and short skirts they, like their fair owners, are emancipated,” The San Francisco Examinershared in 1925. The girls were no longer wearing the oppressive corsets of the previous generation, which is partly why rolled stockings became a fad — there was nowhere to clip their hosiery to.

Painted knees were also an experiment in owning sexuality. Rouged knees would seem flushed (hinting at sex,) and painted knees would bring attention to body parts that were stigmatized just a few short decades back. But these moments of self-rule were oftentimes punished, as students in Ohio Northern learned in 1925. Girls had been drawing roses on their knees, and the dean called an emergency meeting to get them to stop. “It was intimated that some of the professors had not been able to do their best work owing to the profusion of knees in certain classes, that it is difficult for a mere male instructor to think of the Einstein theory, for example, with a tastefully decorated knee — well, staring him in the face, as it were,” The San Francisco Examiner wrote. The fad eventually fell out of vogue, but it resurfaced again in the 1960s — during an era where skirts rose in hemline, women pushed for independence, and embraced their sexual freedom once more. Painted knees were the perfect compliment to mini-skirts and Bermuda shorts, and a student interviewed for The News in 1966 said that she painted her knees so often that she could “put it on faster than face makeup.” (source)

[ukrainiangarbage]

when i read fics here on tumblr dot com,, i sometimes wonder,, damn you’re out here being talented as fuck and doing this shit for free? you’re waking up in the middle of the night just to jot down that one dialogue your mind suddenly came up with so you could write a fic from it for free? you’re out here making best friends with your google docs to provide fics for free? you’re sitting on ur bed / desk plotting these whole fics worthy of a book so people can read it for free? you’re doing hours and hours of research, reading articles about medieval to medical stuff so your fanfic could be as accurate and relevant to your au? i just— lemme kiss you on the forehead, babes. i’m proud of you.

[ukrainiangarbage]

[ukrainiangarbage]

[ukrainiangarbage]

[ukrainiangarbage]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak