ulfthicc-stormcloak - Tumblr blog

ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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high rock? ive never heard of her

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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good news, ive discovered that the maximum dick size in skyrim as per racemenu sliders is somewhere around the distance between riften and solitude, plus a few more hundred or so miles. give or take a little bit for going well beyond the draw distance

#Imagine being some dude in morthaal and giant cock is just increasing in size above you headed north-east #Wait no even funnier #Imagine the dragons are all dealt with and this giant shadow covers the entirety of morthaal and you think “By Talos! They're back!”#And then you look up and see the bell-end of a penis going past like the ship at the start of A New Hope #Like the confusion #The not knowing if giant penis is fine or if it is actually worse than the dragons returning and the oblivion crisis combined

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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what is the best word for death in any language and why is it the german translation

#Fucking todd

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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My headcanon for first council height chart

#Short king vivec #Wait no #Short monarch vivec

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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they're remaking Morrowind in the Skyrim engine. they're remaking Oblivion in the Morrowind engine. they're remaking Starfield in the Skyrim engine. they're remaking the Elder Scrolls Online in the Fallout New Vegas engine. they put super mario in Daggerfall

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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you know that one god awful map that literally looks like a minecraft world? yeah that's what tamriel looks like

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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Wh– What happened????

oh darling im so sorry you have to find out this way

#That is such a lazy attempt to skyrimify a gun #They just put some wood textures and some leather strip textures

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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#I remember my first time seeing a bone lord and being like “tf is that thing?” and then killing it quicker than a normal skeleton

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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I was thinking about how Ancestor Moths are required for the reading of Elder Scrolls and this whole process and the priests who do it are linked to Julianos. But Julianos is a syncretic form of Jhunal whose totem is the Owl while the Moth is linked instead to Dibella.

We can think about the information in the Elder Scrolls as like “Raw data” that’s too computerized for any mortal mind to comprehend. It’s the “coding” of Nirn aka the “Damned Equation” that Julianos “incanted”. So, how do mortals go about understanding the abstract and divine? They filter it through art.

Dibella’s totem is utilized to turn all of that existential gibberish into an understandable picture and/or narrative. She creates a Graphical User Interface instead of just throwing binary at you.

Maybe that’s why reading the scrolls so much leaves you blind. Excessive beauty has been linked to leaving mortal sight impaired before: Moonshadow is said to be so beautiful that it leaves mortals half-blind (We won’t get into the Azura/Dibella links rn). What could be more beautiful than a picture painted by the goddess of beauty herself?

And maybe this all is Dibella’s hand in creation as a whole? Someone else wrote the plot, but she’s the illustrator.

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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#Dont have the gif but i have a still #Also please todd i dont wanna cum skyrim

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 9 months

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#The Falmussy? The Chussy?

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 10 months

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I always like to imagine what the Civil War would be like if Obsidian made Skyrim.

Like yknow how in New Vegas the factions have actual nuance? If you don't know I recommend Hbomberguy's video on New Vegas (no I haven't been binging his whole channel again since watching the plagiarism video wdym?)

Just imagine a Civil War quest line with actual dimensions to it. Like hey, maybe if we want to join the Stormcloaks we can influence Ulfric to put in some serious reforms that curb the growing violence against other races.

Maybe the empire has two sub-factions, one that will do as the thalmor says (could even lead to the Dragonborn joining the thalmor) and one that will, throughout its story, loosen the Thalmor's grip on Skyrim and allow Talos worship to be a little more open when you win.

Or fuck it, pull a yes-man and start your faction, the Dragonborn could become High-King/Queen of Skyrim. Convince the Jarls or those who would replace them to support you by doing things to gain their trust. Becoming Sovereign of Skyrim is definitely a better reward than becoming a thane of each city.

I am not a game designer. These are just ideas my jet-lagged brain is throwing out. But the civil war is still the most disappointing part of Skyrim to me.

Skyrim really is like "pick a side, the Cops or the White Supremacists" and like. Great. Both suck. I guess cops by default bc I Do Not Want to hang with the racists

#skyrim #New Vegas #obsidian #bethesda #The civil war could have been SO much more #Like we know that Bethesda even cut some of the more nuanced elements of its story #It hardly touches on how Tullius still worships Talos in secret. Or how Rikke and Ulfric used to be very close friends #And how the opposite side would launch counter-attacks and you would need to defend the progress you made #Like these were all things that originally were planned to have more impact on the civil war.#But instead it is just another side-quest chain and another faction to join

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ulfthicc-stormcloak · 10 months

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