umbraeon

[umbraeon]

people on tumblr love adding "this is the funniest comment ive ever read" "every part of this image hits like a truck" "okay but can we talk about (lists all the things that make a joke funny)" in the comments. why dont you keep your voice down and let the posts wash over you in blissful silence

[umbraeon]

whats a pillow princess

i don’t have the heart to explain

[umbraeon]

nobody on this site is ever ever EVER going to top running a blog dedicated entirely to posting cute pics of sweet old dogs in a shelter for a year and gradually becoming one of the most recognized blogs on the website, then without warning dropping “i just want to get dicked down again =/” with 0 explanation and abandoning the blog. not deleting it, not explaining anything, just leaving the whole thing as a monument. fucking flawless posting. literally the best of all time.

[umbraeon]

and are the “new people joining tumblr” in the room with us right now

[umbraeon]

language does NOT shape any of my thoughts 💯 maybe im just different tho 🤷‍♂️

[umbraeon]

God I cannot wait to throw millions of human lives into the meat grinder of international conflict so I can make billions of dollars selling microplastics to both sides of said conflict. I cannot fucking wait to put more money than I would ever be able to spend into an offshore account I will never use and then die so my socially maladaptive ghoul of a failson can have billions of dollars to pour into every meaningless idea that sprouts from his fetid little walnut of a brain. I wish I could personally crush millions of humans under a giant iron wheel so my son who I hate with my entire heart can spend more money on peyote and inventing the Blockchain for dogs. I need this so fucking much.

[umbraeon]

GIRLS 🎀💅👯‍♀️🤮have been BANNED 🚫🚫from [tumblr] DOT COM 🤣🤣. This is a BOYS 👹🚙👺💁‍♂️ only ZONE 😈💩!!!!

[umbraeon]

Spotify playlist description: FERAL HYSTERICAL MONSTER WOMEN WHO HOWL AT THE MOON AND GROW FANGS TO PIERCE THE THROATS OF ALL WHO DARE DEFY HER (picture is Anna from Possession) (made by an account called SPI//LL B//LOOD)

the playlist: (Regina Spektor, Billie Eilish, Lorde, Hozier, Mitskis entire discography, exactly one M.I.A song, either a Cardi or Nicki song depending on which callout post the playlist creator last saw, Zombie by The Cranberries)

[umbraeon]

still being active on tumblr is camp

[umbraeon]

why yes I have seen tinks

[umbraeon]

[umbraeon]

infant snub tail macaque awarded title of most fucked up little old guy in the world

[umbraeon]

when you enter a grocery store for 'a few items' thinking 'you don't need a cart' that's the devil speaking

[umbraeon]

Tubby Hot Summer

Webtoon / tapas / Patreon / Twitter / Instagram

[umbraeon]

Heterosexual Character of Today:

Severus Snape from the Harry Potter Series

[umbraeon]

let's gooooo. hozier is a part of bong hive!!!

[umbraeon]

SUNDAY

SUNDAY

ŚU̢̨N̵N̕͜N

and saturday it’s the 9TH ANNUAL MOWER EXPO

BE THERRRREEERRRR AS THE BIGGEST NAMES IN MOWERS,HEDGER&CLIPPERSONHEDGER&CLIPPERSONHEDGER&CLIPPERSONSONDAY!

CUTTING TECHNOLOGY! aerfsverginereaersorodl

SEAKING!     SEAKING!     SEAKING!

OIL PAINTINGS!OIL PAINTINGS!SEAKING!

DONT MISS THE DALLAS MOWER EXPOXEPOYERSALAD

BE THEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEERRRREEEEEERRRRRRR….RRERRR….RREEEEEEEE