umidaily - Tumblr blog

[umidaily]

Feels so weird, the need to defend someone a public figure. They don't know who I am. Zadie doesn't know who I am. But I guess when i defend them, what I'm really doing is defending myself. And what really matters, and the only thing that really should matter, is my own personal opinion of a thing. And my opinion is just an opinion. And the fear and anxiety that erupts, and presents itself as defensiveness, when people criticize people that I idolize, is really just a body reaction to feeling attacked, feeling like I am being told I'm wrong for continuing to support people. When I am not. Like I am allowed to agree with zadie. It doesn't make me a bad person. I think there are arguments to be made about whether the article was necessary, or whether it really served any purpose at all. But I do, ultimately, agree with it. I do think there is danger in all of the labels and chants and buzzwords floating around the internet regarding palestine. I think it's wild to not be able to zoom out for even just one second, and acknowledge the humanity of both sides. At the very end, she says to call her whatever you want. "Toothless humanist" was one of them. And I think a lot of people on the internet, leftists, obviously, are calling her that. And maybe that's what I am too. "You can't 'both sides' a genocide" is something people are saying. But that again, has become a saying that people throw around on the internet like it's a cool thing to say. So I just...can't do it. And that's ok. I don't have to. And if it ultimately means that we have conflict. If it means, ultimately, that Amanda and I, drift apart. It means, we drift apart. And that's ok. Because the worst thing I can do is pretend like I believe as strongly or even in the same things as she does, get swept up in it, and feel like a fraud either way.

[umidaily]

Re: AmCh

I can feel it all crumbling. I can feel the judgment. I know that they want me to be more active, that they look at me and my life and think "Why does she not care? She has the time, why does she not devote any of it to this?" They've both been called to activism. And maybe it's because of the way we were raised, maybe it's that I'm lazy and selfish. It's probably both. But it's also that I, ultimately, think we all have to prioritize the personal over the community. And I think that's just what it is. I sometimes wonder if Amanda giving so much to these causes is a way for her to give back the wealth she was born with. Her parents paid for her to go to law school. She has a trust fund. She'll travel to Hong Kong and get paid flights. She'll tell them that about her friend's mortgage and they'll pay it off in a blink. And I think sitting in that amount of privilege and wealth, knowing that she was born into that class and still choosing to benefit from it, makes her feel guilty, and she's doing everything she can to feel better about herself. And I guess that's good. That's what we want, I guess.

I don't know. I don't know enough about politics, and I don't really want to know. I want to be dumb about it. That's the thing. Like, I want to be clueless about it and bop around and maybe get taken advantage of and whatever. But I really want to just... live my life. Like, that's the thing with activists. I am like great for you, go you. I don't want to do that with my time. And that's a selfish choice I'm making, but that's a choice I get to make. And it makes me sad, obviously. And this issue is personal to her, obviously. And she's a history major so she was already naturally geared toward this stuff. Like I am not. I just am not interested. And you can call me dumb or selfish or whatever, but I still get to not be interested.

I guess ultimately, we might have a friendship breakup over this. I can see it escalating to that point, I really can. The stuff both of them post on social media is so intense. It's intense on purpose. The actual events are even scarier than whatever people are posting, so that really makes you think. But it's also not my life. It's not my people. It's not my family. And that's selfish to not care because it's not about me, but we all have to not care a little bit. I wonder if she would still care if Myka's boyfriend wasn't Palestinian. It's because she has skin in the game that she is so particularly vocal about this over everything else. And I guess that's how I make myself feel better, but it's also just true. Because at the end of the day she can preach global activism and community care all she wants but it's a personal issue for her.

There is a moral superiority and need to shame people that doesn’t sit right with me. Maybe it is a facet of all activism and maybe that’s why I can’t be one, but I don’t like the high horse, moral “what are you doing if you’re not doing this? How COULD YOU!!!!!” Energy. It’s exhausting and short sighted and not empathetic and I hate it so much.

[umidaily]

4.424

Morning coffee - cafe di espresso

Walk to flower shop -buy flowers for grave

Taxi to grave

Taxi to obaachans

Petit bakery - all the bread

Visit obaachan

-buy tea from vending machine

Chill at obaachans

-ばかタレ

Walk around itsukaichi

-old obaachans house!!!

Train and ferry to Miyajima

Miyajima!! Deer!! Sakura!!

-yakigaki, oyster curry bread

-Australian dude lolol

Ferry and train back to hondori

Dinner at suishin - fish and kamameshi

Fried chicken comparison

-7 eleven, Lawson, family mart

Back to hotel

Watch ぐるナイ

[umidaily]

4.3.24

Morning coffee

Breakfast at hotel: toast

Go to Shinagawa station -short delay

Buy ekiben -salmon and takikomigohan&nikuman

Read: ta Nehisi

Arrive at Hiroshima station

-so rainy!!!

Taxi to Mitsuii Garden Hotel

Cafe di espresso -mocha

Check in to hotel

Rest/play scout

Dinner at Negiann -okonomiyaki

Magic Bar

[umidaily]

4.2.24

Jenny landed! Arrived at hotel at 8am

Morning coffee

Breakfast: toast and boiled egg

Walk around Sumidagawa

Sakura mochi -sit near water and eat

Lunch at local katsu place -aji fry and katsu

Nanaya - matcha ice cream - matcha and hojicha

Walk around Asakusa /Sensoji

Back to hotel to rest

Go to Ueno with mama

Matsuzakaya

- gifts for Ryuma-ojichan (socks and handkerchief)

-omiage - まんじゅう＆水ようかん

- Kaldi - fried onion and coffee

- strawberry milk concentrate

Matsuya basement

-grocery - buy milk

Back to hotel

Mama switch rooms

Brent arrived at 8pm

Dinner at small local izakaya - yakitori so good!!

Family mart - ice cream / Brent -onigiri lolol

Back to hotel/ sleep time

[umidaily]

4.1.24

Morning coffee

Narita found mamas green card!!!!!

Go to suehirocho

Kanda Myoujin-7 stone shrines

Lunch at Kiyari soba

Yushima Seido

Walk to Kanda

Train to Ueno

Mama: Skyliner train to Narita

Go to Ueno park

Call Charlie

Train to Suehirocho

Lawson - chips and jasmine tea

Started raining :((

Yodobashi camera

-stationery!!notebooks!!!

Meet Friends at Akihabara station

Walk around

-bic camera

-animate

Go back to Jae’s hotel

-Chats about.. stuff

Meet friends at Tokyo station

Tokyo character street

-Pokemon store

Dinner at Beer Hall

-big katsu, Hamburg steak

Train back to hotel

Pass out

[umidaily]

3.31.24

Morning coffee and toast

Scramble about mamas green card

-call Brent

Meet friends at Onotesando

Lunch at Slice of life Bbq

-jer waited in line

Flying Copenhagen

Gentle Monster

Jae left

Polene

-chill and chat with Jer

So hot!!!

Inge and monkoo join, plus Diana and Freddy

Walk to Roppongi Tokyo Midtown

Dinner at Tsujihan

Roppongi Hills -photos

Lawson

Jae’s hotel to chill

Asakusa at night

Sensoji

McDonald’s -shrimp filet good

[umidaily]

3.30.24

Up early

Go to Tsukiji

Meet Jae, Jenn, Jer at Tomboya for tuna skewer

-So good!

Walk to ginza

Breakfast at Noa cafe

- waffle and latte morning set

- walk to don quijote

-family mart - famichiki

Train to Asakusa

Sanrio store

Melon pan/ meet crystals friends

Sensoji - so crowded!!!!!

-omikuji- 大吉

Hatoya matcha

Walk Around

[umidaily]

3.29.24

Morning coffee

Breakfast

Really heavy rains until noon :((

Bookstore at Matsuya

Go to Shibuya

-tower records - yuuri cds! - Beyoncé????????

-walk around miyashita park

-late lunch/early dinner at RAKERU (omurice, gratin)

Back to Asakusa

Matsuya basement floor

-buy chika chan unagi bento

-roll cake

7 eleven

Tea and chats at chika chans

Back to hotel

[umidaily]

3.28.24

Read: before the coffee gets cold

Morning Coffee

Breakfast: Siumai

Morning TV

Go to Yurakucho Station

Tokyo Kotsu Kaikan:

-regional shops:

—Okinawa: salt, snacks, umibudou

— Akita: natto snack

— also Hokkaido and Niigata

Lunch: うまや　牛タン＆チキン南蛮

Bookstore

Walk to Ginza

Itoya -so crowded

-cafe in Itoya: cheesecake and lattes

Matsuya dept store food

- あげ、油揚げ、おにぎり

- ぱんやさん

Back to Asakusa

Stop by Matsuya dept grocery store

-soy sauce, yogurt, more salt

Back to hotel

Watch アメトーク

[umidaily]

3.27.24

Read: Before the coffee gets cold

Morning coffee and breakfast: toast and yogurt

Nice weather!!

Walk around Sumidagawa with Mama

-no blooms yet :(

Lunch at okayu place: 粥や佐藤

-かきおかゆ

Walk to Kappabashi

-lots of kitchen goods

- FU WA RI

-restaurant food supply: sesame seed paste

Back to hotel

Chill and relax

Walk to Skytree

- look for salt at grocery in Tokyo Solamachi

Back to hotel

Pickup dinner at Matsuya dept store

-siumai, kimchi, たきこみごはん

Watch: show with medium

[umidaily]

3.26.24

Morning coffee

Long chat with mama -3 hrs, emotional bleh

Buy train tickets for Nikki at Asakusa station

Fo to Tokyo station

-character street

-日テレ　tv store - いってq calendar

-Daimaru - buy strawberry &lychee peach jam

-buy Shinkansen tickets

Go to chika chans - so rainy T.T

Dinner at chika chans -roast beef, ebi fry, salad, octopus fried rice - so good

Watch 占ってもいいですか

Watch 今夜の謎トレ

Watch show about 毒女

Walk back to hotel

[umidaily]

3.25.24

Morning coffee and yogurt and toast

Go to nihonbashi

Togo cinema: Buy movie tickets

Lunch at spaghetti Sora - carbonara

Watch Godzilla-1.0 : muscat soda and sour cream and onion popcorn - pretty good!!

Ginza

Loft - small haul, no Jan start :(((

Muji - buy curry for dinner (green curry, butter chicken, beef curry)

7 eleven: pick up sandwiches and dessert (ice cream and warabi mochi)

Dinner: instant curry and rice - not the best but not bad

So sleepy, pass out at 9pm lmao

[umidaily]

3.24.24

Read: Family Meal

Breakfast: Toast on stove, plus egg and sausage

Mama up late

Watch: News/Japanese morning TV

Train to: Ueno Hirokoji

Ameyoko: Fruits (Amanatsu, dried persimmon, dried sweet potato) - so heavy!! - がんばれ！

Marishiten Tokudaiji Temple - Inoshishi

Walk to Ueno Park - no cherry blossoms yet ):

Chill & Snack - ずんだ団子、みたらし団子

Buy Strawberries at Ameyoko

Stop by Matsuya - Unagi Bento - Groceries: Yogurt & Snack

Mini Stop - Water & Beer - kind of shitty LOL

Dinner: unagi @ hotel (:

Watch: Aiba Manabu

Watch: Chubo no Alice - finale!

[umidaily]

3.23.24

wake up once at 4:30, back to sleep until 7

Morning Coffee

Morning TV

Rainy!!

Chill/Veg until noon

go to Nihonbashi:

TOHO CINEMA: buy movie ticket for 四月になれば彼女は at 1:25 pm (Godzilla too full)

Walk around COREDO to kill time, bookstore - bought japanese books!!

Watch Movie: slow romance. meh; dropped phone T.T

Mitsukoshi: Mama - Shiseido; walk around Mitsukoshi

Walk around COREDO more, buy pine tea, go to MUJI

Dinner at Hakata Motsunabe Yamaya Coredo - good but so salty, too much food

back to hotel

chill/veg out more

Pine tea... weird

sleep early