unalomero

[unalomero]

[unalomero]

Me @every single girl

[unalomero]

Bye bye

Ah, our run was something Tumbie... But ya kno, journaling by hand has prooved to be a better outlet for me and that's Okay!

Will say, kinda gonna miss u voiceless sex bots.

Farewell!

[unalomero]

My crew and me looking Fresh while we were Drenched!

These people have helped me so so much and I'm so blessed to have them in my life

[unalomero]

Hey,

Looking for a platonic relationship.

Oh, everyone is fixated on romantic relationships?

Oh they place high significance and worth on seeking and pursuing potentials than working on actuals?

I am unfortunately in that boat of the latter example of the one who seeks romantics and avoids semantics hehe...

No, I am just really feeling the lonely right now. I kinda just wanna get drunk, drive donuts on dirt roads, with a cigarette in my mouth. All while lana delivers(auto corrected del) Rey's ride plays with slow motion effects.

Haha what a thought. I'll stick to watching stranger things and ignoring those who like me romantically.

I have been trying to feel something in the romantic sense and well, I think it's the trying to feel that is preventing me from feeling.

I have a hard time not getting what I want and well that's the problem. I dont know what I want.

Honestly I feel so great when I'm alone or working in the woods. I just get a bit frustrated with how little it seems my family members listen or know me. They, along with everyone else seems to be comparing me to the idea of who they think I am, instead of truly seeing and listening to the person i am.

[unalomero]

My mental health after I stopped covering up my emotions and started to look and address the underlying issues again

[unalomero]

[unalomero]

Ah, well like you, all those who relate to this meme (me included) have yet to process our trauma fully and diminish the pain immaturly overly minimizing the painful memories

Trauma survivors on tv: (beautifully broken, delivers tearful speech on their traumas, hug it out)

Me: (describes abusive event and laughs) BOY THAT SURE WAS FUCKED UP

[unalomero]

Assumptions

have seem to be making up a large percent of my interactions. At least what I assume are assumptions.

I say one thing and yet they hear another? People auto fill what they are hoping to hear. It is quite interesting to see and notice myself of the same.

I have the sense that it's the very assumption of assumption itself of someone else that causes a self damaging mental leaning.

[unalomero]

I miss her again

Well the title speaks for itself

[unalomero]

We all have commonalities that help each other gain a sense of belonging from one another.

However. Sometimes we must recognize that the self and the other is not as direct as we initially assume.

[unalomero]

I love it so much 2

i fucking love this so much

[unalomero]

The fucking horse girls are trying to recruit me

[unalomero]

Hmmm

Well I am definitely craving attention today. Sex bots, please somehow serendipitously send me a sign to where my one true love it today!

Greatly appreciated,

I know I'm still obsessed. I'm working on it ok?

[unalomero]

Meee oh gosh. I just wake up and hope it's the former, knowing very well most times it's the latter

[unalomero]

Back to feeling fine. Yesterday was an odd sad boy game. I just dont like being so afraid of all guys. I dont even feel comfortable being alone with any of my dad's friends or brother. I always have to have more than one other person with me so I know I'm safe.

Whoopiez. Maybe I head back to wonderful cook where I dont have that fear

[unalomero]

Ouch!

Heart hurts and it's not heartburn this time!!!

Emotions decided to hit me up heavy today and I just want to speak about it seX b0Ts.

I is sad. I is worried about Katherine. Why am I worried? I DUNNO, I WISH I DIDNT CARE SO MUCH ABOUT SOMEONE! This shiz just wont quit either. Since we broke up, I have gone 5 days WITHOUT dreaming of Kat and I know it's because she's been in my subconscious quite a bit.

I can't ignore my feelings. I cant stop my curiosity about her. I wish I knew what was happening in her head and how she is really doing...

I missed the little time when she liked the idea of me. She did seem like she felt intensely right away. Her flame seemed to burn so bright and seeing her smile melted my heart and I used it to keep my soul warm and then everything went dark and I felt like I was lost.

Her tears when she left mom's house the first time left really left me worried that she was battling something in her mind. There were many times in the beginning I recognized that she was still developing her self-worth. I wanted to help and didn't know how to help.

I wish she would give herself the time to accept herself.

Did my love and actions towards her feel foreign?

Love doesnt have to be associated with the past. I'm not the past. I want to have real talk with her. Hear the real her.

I guess how I treated her mustve felt so unfamiliar and I dont think anyone can make it through her obvious inward nit picking. She felt bored when I honestly tried the things that try to have her have interest in me.

At some point I think she convinced herself I was bad for her. Now I'm starting to question that too. I know I would do anything for her. Even if that meant being her friend because I not good as a lover. I SWEAR though I think the real truth was that she was afraid of working at creating a genuine and AUTHENTIC relationship with someone.

She let others in and they tore her down. fuck those people for real. Fuck all the people who didnt treat her with sensibility and respect.

Does she have anyone she is really close to? That's what I want to know. Does she ignore everyone or just me? And is she okay with that? She does seemed convinced she's fine alone, but I dont want her to just be fine or okay I want her to be fulfilled and self aware.

I cant help but love her and I wish she cared enough to just even be my friend

...

Guess that's not something I can spend too much time fixating on. She needs her time and obviously I'm not the one who makes her time fulfilled for her.

Maybe I too have a fear of intimacy because I keep choosing people I see signs of unavailability in. like hell! She even warned me not to like her. She warned me... I should have listened... I mean I listened, but should have taken her advice. Even told my mom after she first came that I think I may be making a mistake.

The shoulds the coulds they dont change the now, they just cloud it. I am working hard at being the person that makes me happy and not focus on another's happiness.