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I’m starting to realize what stories meant when they mentioned losing your train of thought because someone was just that pretty

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Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

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reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

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Me and the mutual I pulled by being actually I have no idea why they followed me but I'm glad they did

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my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.

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As a horror guy I vehemently do not support hatred towards romance girlies. Sister genres in my opinion. We both enjoy familiar tropes. We both enjoy interesting relationship dynamics explored between two or more people. We both enjoy werewolves.

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me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

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enough talk about girl dinner, what about girl lunch????? what about girl breakfast????

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march sunlight… coming soon to a window near you

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besties, remember how when I was in undergrad I used to write and post fics for yall every week? I think the key was stress and distress. we’re back at uni and super stressed and I’m already almost done with a new fic.

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when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

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the generational gap between me and the people my age who use chat gpt

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"people who stay up at night are either insomniac or In love" people who stay up at night read gay fanfiction on AO3 what are you on about?

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"Are you good in bed?" No, I can't sleep.