uneq-apol--arts - Tumblr blog

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I haven't drawn anything in about 3 years so of course this purple soft boy came along and I had to.

"Dev, please, let me explain, Dev-"

"Do you ever SHUT UP?! Magical backup this, make a wish that! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY."

And an angstier version under the cut:

"Good thinking, Irep."

Someone help himmmm

[uneq-apol--arts]

Even After

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49011130 

How did Charles know how to deal with Beetlejuice's self harm? Maybe because he had practice. 

Prequel to Flay.

(Rated Mature for Language, Suicidal Ideation/Attempt, and Discussion of Bodily Harm.)

It’s been so long since i last posted it took me about an hour to figure out how

[uneq-apol--arts]

Two idiots move in together and don't realize both of them are simultaneously trying to nest. 

Indecently fluffy, imho. 

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A Very Cracky Wiggleverse Headcanon 

Disclaimer in advance: all of the information about snakes provided was researched and compiled but does not mean that it is true. 

Inspired by the hilarious ideas of: @kedreeva @olwendylluan @quillyfied and a couple of posts by @jeslieness

-----

I have adored the Wiggleverse ever since I discovered it a while ago. Now that I found a friend who also likes the Wiggleverse, I find myself thinking about it more often. 

So, as one does, I was thinking about it as I went to sleep one night when a thought popped into my head: 

Don't snakes usually lay more than 5 eggs?

From there, I fell down the rabbit hole. 

And of course, ridiculous ADHD brain that I have, I hyperfixated on it. As if hyperfixating on Good Omens for the past year now wasn’t bad enough. 

I started with researching “black snakes.” Unfortunately, it kept bringing up results based on my location. Useless. I did more digging and as I was about to give up, I saw it. The Motley Golden Child Reticulated Python. An absolute beauty. Looked like an oil slick if an oil slick was noodle-y and scale-y

Reticulated Pythons are the longest snakes in the world, and second “largest,” only beat out by Green Anacondas, which are larger only in weight. “Retics,” as they are sometimes called, can grow up to 30 feet but rarely exceed 20. In my mind, that’s a pretty good Snake!Crowley reference. 

Back to the main topic, though: don’t snakes usually lay more than 5 eggs? 

Yes. 

Overall, snakes lay anywhere from 1 to 100 eggs at a time. Interestingly, while researching this, I learned that some snakes give live birth (or something along that line, idk I was a little squicked). In any case, we’re not looking overall, we’re looking at Retics. Reticulated Pythons lay, on average, 60 to 100 eggs at a time in the wild. In captivity, however, this range is closer to 20 to 40, due to higher survival rates. 

I think you’re beginning to catch my drift by this point. 

Now I had a range to work with. After some quick Googling, I discovered that you can buy packs of either 24 or 6 ping pong balls (at least where I am). Well, we can assume Crowley wanted to play around and figure out what works so he bought a 24 pack and a 6 pack (and slime cause he’s just discovered it and if he still worked for Hell, he’d gladly take that commendation). Anyway, after experimenting, he settles on just the 24, chucks them in an aquarium with sand and its ready to go. 

The prank plays out just the same as in Getting A Wiggle On but with a time frame of two weeks instead of one. When Crowley returns to find the prank backfired, though, there is a lot more panicking because “What am I meant to do with 24 snakes, Aziraphale!” Except that 5 didn’t make it which is actually common. Sometimes baby snakes can’t cut out of their eggs and either have to be “pipped” (a caretaker cuts into the egg a bit to help the snakelet; very dangerous if done incorrectly) or the baby snake will drown in its egg. 

All in all, these dumbasses end up with 19 magical snake children. I have already started the fics. In the process I am realizing just how (unintentionally) “19 Kids and Counting” this will end up being. Perhaps I should watch that for some writing tips, lmao. I cannot guarantee I will publish Wiggleverse (Almost) Squared, but I wanted to get the idea out into the world. 

Tl;dr: Instead of 5 snakelets, Crowley and Aziraphale end up with 19. 19 magical snake babies. Chaos ensues. 

[uneq-apol--arts]

Ping!

AO3 

Summary: (High School Covid-19 AU) Azira gets an email during class one day. They make a new friend.

Warnings: none!

Genre: fluff, first meeting

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley 

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Ping! 

Azira's gaze flicked up from the powerpoint their teacher was presenting. One tab in the browser flashed, alerting them to the source of the obnoxious pinging noise. They flipped over to their inbox, spotting the highlighted email immediately. It was from a student also in the class. Azira flipped back to the meeting and spotted the person who had sent the message. Aside from the teacher, they were the only other person with a camera on. While they weren't on screen, in the background on one wall hung a large pan flag and Azira had to resist a smile. They went back to the email and opened it. 

---Um. Hi? 

It said. 

-I saw your flag and I think it's really cool and I wanna be friends. 

Azira turned, catching a glimpse of the non-binary flag hung from their wall. They responded. 

---I like your flag too. What do you want me to call you? And what pronouns? 

The response back was immediate. 

---Anthony is ok. And I use he/him. What about you? 

---Aziraphale or Azira, if that's easier. He/they, please. And I suppose we can be friends. 

---Yayy!! You seemed really cool and I was right! I turned my camera on just so you could see my flag lol. 

---Heheh. It's rather uncomfortable being the only student on camera, to be honest. 

---Then turn it off?? 

---No, I'd rather not risk being marked absent. Besides, then you wouldn't have seen my flag! 

---...... True true 

-So... did you pick your name yourself? 

---I did. It's the name of an angel. Very unknown because they were quite a dolt, but very relatable. 

---An angel, eh? You sure look like one. 

Azira fell back in their chair then quickly sprung forward, flipping over to the Meet tab and turning off their camera. Their hands flew to their flaming cheeks, knocking their glasses askew. 

Ping! 

Ping! Ping! 

Pi-pi-pi-pin-ping! 

Flustered, Azira went back to their inbox to a chain of email replies from Anthony. Frantic apologies and "Are you ok?"s filled the screen. 

---I'm fine, I'm fine! Just flustered. People usually don't compliment me. I'm too nerdy for that. 

---*GASP* How DARE! You are... idk what you prefer, handsome or beautiful? Gorgeous? Stunning? Angelic? You literally look like a cherub. 

---I do not. Cherubs are horrifying creatures. Four faces, six wings, a whole mess. >_>

---Did you just- ANYWAY. What do you prefer? You didn't answer. 

---Handsome, I suppose? I'm not used to receiving (or passing out) compliments so I'm not sure what feels right. Beautiful, gorgeous, and stunning all feel too feminine. Dashing I suppose is alright too. Charming, maybe? 

---Hey, hey, hey, ur fine. You dont need to explain to me. I get it. Tbh, idk why I told you I use Anthony. Hate that name. -_-

---I understand. You were probably subconsciously worried about your safety; a completely warranted feeling. :) If you decide to share, go right ahead. If it helps you feel more comfortable, I identify as agender which makes everything a hassle. That's why I chose an angelic name. Angels don't have genders, much like me. Short of being five fennec foxes stacked in a trenchcoat, that's why I use they/them pronouns, primarily. Any pronouns except she/her/hers are a-okay to me. :D

---.... okay. But why fennec foxes of all things?! XD

---Have you ever seen them?! They are adorable! Also tiny, much like me. They're also very underrated. :D

---..... Crow. My name is Crow. :) <3 xoxo

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Endnotes: I legit just wrote and posted this spur of the moment lmfao.

Remember: You are loved and cherished and we'd hate to lose you <3. 

[uneq-apol--arts]

Final chapter! Wahoo!

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Summary: 

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary: 

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary: 

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary: 

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary: 

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary: 

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary:

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary:

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

Summary:

King Gabriel's son, Prince Ezra, is coming of age to take a wife for themself. 

A servant-girl, Antonia, dreams of escaping the clutches of her cruel step-mother and step-sisters. 

Little do they know they have someone looking out for them. 

After all, it's ineffable. 

(Good Omens Cinderella AU) 

(Rated Teen for Language and Implications.)

[uneq-apol--arts]

I forgot to mention when I originally posted this: If someone wants to write this, go right ahead! Just remember to tag me or send an ask/message. I would LOVE to read where y'all take it.

The Amulet AU

I think this one is wholly my own. If not, let me know and tell me where to find it! 

Basically: Ford falls under the influence of the mystical amulet and calls Stan for help. Bill doesn’t exist so there’s no portal but Ford does get stuck in the amulet for thirty years instead. 

Keep reading

[uneq-apol--arts]

Sanctum

AO3

Summary: Crowley panics after Aziraphale asks what happened to his sunglasses.

Warnings: none

Genre: fluff

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley

Notes: This came out softer than I anticipated. 

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Crowley laid on the sofa in the back of the bookshop, legs on the seat and his arms and head thrown back over the armrest, the tips of his russet hair dancing on the floor. He sat up when Aziraphale took a seat at the opposite end, book in hand and silly glasses placed on the tip of his nose. Crowley's glasses, Aziraphale noted, were sat on a rare horizontal plane of the angel's pigsty of a desk. Aziraphale also noted that he hadn't seen the demon wearing them except for their escapades outside of the shop. Curious, Aziraphale set the book next to Crowley's glasses and turned to him, the demon having now buried himself in his phone. Aziraphale sighed and reached over, pushing the phone down and away from his companion's face. Crowley smiled up at Aziraphale, sunset gold eyes blown fully snake and crinkling slightly at the corners. "Hi?" the demon asked nervously. 

"Hello, dear. I have a question for you." 

"Shoot?" 

"Why haven't you been wearing your sunglasses in the shop?" Crowley cocked his head slightly and his hands found themselves threading through his scarf. When it finally clicked that he doesn't like your eyes, you inconsiderate tosser, he shot up and grabbed his glasses, shoving them back on to hide the pain in his gaze. He settled down further away from Aziraphale. "Crowley?" the redhead huffed sadly before standing and making a beeline for the door. Aziraphale sprung up and followed him, wrapping his arms around Crowley's waist. "I'm sorry, darling, I didn't mean to upset you," he sighed, chin resting briefly on Crowley's shoulder. Aziraphale turned the demon around to peer up at him. "Could you tell me what I said that upset you so?" Crowley slouched and mumbled. "Pardon?" 

"You don't like my eyes," it was still a mumble but at least recognizably words. Aziraphale shook his head. 

"Oh, no, dear, what made you think that?" Aziraphale fingers curled into the demon's soft grey shirt. 

"You asked why I wasn't wearing my glasses anymore." 

"I didn't say I didn't like your eyes though, did I?" It was a genuinely confused and terrified question. "If I did, I am deeply sorry, sometimes my thoughts just escape me." Crowley yanked himself away from Aziraphale. 

"What's that supposed to mean?!" he burst. "'Your thoughts got away from you?!' You do hate them!" Crowley turned and stomped for the door again. Aziraphale ran after him and grabbed his arm, spinning them around so he stood between the fleeing demon and the door. 

"Crowley," the man-shaped being in question huffed. "Crowley, dear, look at me." he huffed again. "Crowley, please look at me, love." he caved and his head turned just enough to see Aziraphale. "Thank you. Now if you'd be so kind as to let me explain?" Crowley nodded for him to continue. "Alright, thank you. Now listen to me closely. I do not hate your eyes, in fact I think they are quite beautiful and I have no quarrels with you not wearing your glasses. I just found it rather peculiar that you haven't been wearing them. Aside from random drunken conversations, you've had them on ever since they were invented. I was trying to think of reasons for the change, and none came to mind aside from you determining that I didn't dislike them, and feeling more free to let loose like I do around you." Aziraphale tugged lightly on Crowley and spun him to see his full face. The angel reached up slowly and gently removed the hipster sunglasses, slipping them into his shirt pocket. Crowley's sun-gold eyes barely rose over their horizon of tears and Aziraphale brought a handkerchief to flushed cheeks, patting away the tears that spilt free. "I'm sorry for upsetting you, my dear." Crowley shook his head frantically. 

"No! No, no, no. It wasn't your fault! I just have a problem with jumping to conclusions," Crowley explained, grabbing hold of Aziraphale's arms.

"Do you mind sitting down with me again and telling me why you haven't been wearing your glasses?" 

"Not at all, angel." Crowley was the first to reach the sofa where he flopped down, leaning against Aziraphale once the blonde had joined him with two glasses of wine. 

"I guess I just feel safe," Crowley said, taking a sip of red. "There's no one here that would hurt me, and you already knew about my eyes. They're kind of... a shield. Most humans and demons can't read my face without seeing my eyes. They can't tell how I'm feeling or thinking. Only you ever could. So taking them off around you never really made a difference. If demons could tell how I felt they'd probably bully me into submission so even in Hell I never took them off and humans would just think I was a witch or something. But I never worried about that here. It's like a safe-haven. Some kind of sanctum." 

Aziraphale looked around the shop, eyes landing first on the Pride flags scattered about, then moved to the small but priceless bobbles entrusted to him by the homeless he had fed, and finally the tapestries and feathers gifted to him by the racial minority groups he had sheltered. "Some kind of sanctum, indeed," Aziraphale agreed. 

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Endnotes: Remember: You are loved and cherished and we'd hate to lose you <3.