unfortunatepoems

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you're the only one who understands me mr strobbery

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'Cat and Cello' from 'Nursery Songs' by Paul Vincent Woodroffe, 1895.

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“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.

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“It's just a small handful of ibuprofen, and it will help the words fade away."

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I feel like gomez addams would have a cuck fetish

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Do u think the eagle who eats Prometheus' liver gets tired of eating the same thing everyday or do u think the eagle is pumped about it like "oh fuck yeah, ol' Prometheus hooking me up yet again"

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Old Yeller just parried the bullet

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its it's important to lie in bed and make yourself as scared as possible all the time

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youre never alone. bacteria

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haha thats so funny [face gets gravely serious] but were you not a staunch and trusted ally i would have you executed for such a joke

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I am happy because everyone loves me

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RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but im different. and better. maybe even better than the gods

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My disciples are lowkey starting to annoy me

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I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[unfortunatepoems]

how i'm tryna be