unhealed-healer-blog - Tumblr blog

[unhealed-healer-blog]

Nope, not a pretty girl

Hey you...

Got my feelings hurt pretty good. Stings a bit....enough...no fun. So you see what happened was...I was doing single...then I was doing dating sites....then I had a crush. Now not so much.

I was thinking about my past relationships...all of them. I was wondering which I missed or wanted back....truth is I miss parts of all of them but I don't want any of them back.

That's got to be a first.

Single isn't always fun, lonely comes by to say hello sometimes but I don't wonder where she has been. I trust her. She is consistent.

One of my many favorite songs is... not a pretty girl...and it's true...I'm not...I'm cute but pretty has never been my truth. I used to think I was disgusting.

So painful.

In this moment I do not wish to be anything other than what I am. My imperfections are mine. I own them, I work on them but I own them. I don't wish I was her, or there, or any which whatever. I'm ok just me.

Be well.

[unhealed-healer-blog]

?

She invades me...

I don't want it...I don't want it...

I'm moving along then in she fuckin comes...

I'm not the one...

Issues upon tons....

Baby girl walk on...

[unhealed-healer-blog]

Content

Hey you...

Nights turn to days...days to night...a constant flow where there need not be neither wrong nor right.

My body is tired from a well worked shift, spirit inspired, and heart grateful. My eyes grow heavy still I meet you here...why not... currently there is a cat purring on my chest...her little motor brings a smile to my face. Animals are so pure and loving. A peace man should incorporate into self.

So last night I was on the line again singing rhymes softly to myself...still a practice in it's infancy and a team member was like are you crazy you talk to yourself... I was like yes I am a bit crazy but I'm singing to myself. With that she smiled and said well that is different. I laughed...either way I wasn't going to stop...no one can hear me it's so loud and I enjoy it. I said the other day that words are my gift...these moments when I just exist in harmony with who I am. I would say my actions are my practice...words are easy...actions speak much louder. It has been some time since my actions spoke differently from my words...I mean I fall short from time to time but I say what I mean and don't retract on my word.

That's powerful.

In this moment I am proud of the spirit I am. Content in growing towards a better self and working on listening to people when they tell me who they are.

Take a deep breath and be well.

You deserve it.

[unhealed-healer-blog]

Words

I find your play irresistibly

Your form, sound, beautiful

I want to create your future

Your beginning and your end

I hold you with pen in hand

My friend, my lover, my only

My only

[unhealed-healer-blog]

Freedom

Hey you...

Currently I am sitting in the woods...a small stream is gently flowing...crisp clear water...the sound of night approaching fill the air as the evening bugs sing their tunes...leaves are scatered here and there only to be disturbed by a squirrel or other wild life playing, hunting, living a life not bound by emotional baggage. Every so often a mosquito will come only to be swatted away. This is where I find external peace, the calm comes through me and home is found.

I had an emotional day, happens sometimes...not as often but she comes... sadness dressed in her best loneliness inducing gown...sweeps over me as if drifted by the wind...she lies...voice soothing with nevers and should have beens...I know her voice...that tone that carries a piece of me in it...she lies...in satin tongues...such lies.

I am not sure what comes next, which employer will call or when things will shift... however in this moment I know peace, it is echoed in the birds call off in the distance.

One of my favorite authors, Maya Angelou wrote

I know why the cadged bird sings, the cadged bird sings for freedom.

Freedom

Let all that baggage I carry rest here as my spirit sings for freedom.

Be well.