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Enoch: So. Who broke the coffee pot? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Horace: I did. I broke it.

Enoch: No. No you didn't. Hugh?

Hugh: Don't look at me. Look at Millard.

Millard: What?! I didn't break it.

Hugh: Oh that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Millard: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Hugh: Suspicious.

Millard: No it's not!

Jacob: If it matters, probably not, but Bronwyn was the last one to use it.

Bronwyn: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Jacob: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee maker earlier?

Bronwyn: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Jacob!

Horace: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Enoch.

Enoch: No! Who broke it?!

Millard: Enoch...Emma has been awfully quiet.

Emma: REALLY?!

[Everyone starts arguing]

Enoch: [later] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little too chummy around here.

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OK BUT THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING

Okay but Enoch isn’t some hot broody teen. Enoch is a chubby, cockney pissbaby.

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Horace: Here's this map of the wight's base I drew.

Enoch: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don't wanna sound mean.

Horace: No go ahead I wanna hear it.

Enoch: It fucking sucks.

Horace: that's not constructive criticism

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Introductions

Miss Peregrine: Jake now that you've met all the children, let's see the garden.

Jake: What about Enoch?

Hugh: Oh well he-

Enoch: *flounces into the room slamming the door open*

Emma: Why are you-

Enoch: *dramatically rips off cape and puts on a dark look*

Millard: Where did you even find-

Enoch: I... am Enoch.

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MY HEART

Imagine Enoch picking on you for being short

“Hm, wonder where Y/N is.”

“Enoch look down.”

“Like I can hear but I don’t see her?? Y/N where are you?”

“Enoch I swear to God I’ll kick your ass.”

“Well it looks like she left.”

“Enoch look the fuck down.”

“My precious baby girl is gone, boohoo.”

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Millard: Hey Enoch! Come play with Hugh and me!

Hugh: *Kicks ball to Enoch*

Enoch: *Purposely misses ball*

Enoch: Oh, there goes the ball

Enoch: Along with all the fucks I give

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*buys 20 tickets in advance*

screenshots from fin’s new movie, The Dark Mile

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Emma, to Jacob: I have to warn you, when Enoch drinks, he starts to quote Panic! At The Dicso songs.

Enoch: I told you time and time again. I not as think as you drunk I am.

Emma: Really? How do you spell the word tragedies?

Enoch: S-I-N-S

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Finlay Macmillan for Boys by Girls magazine

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HOW IS HE EVEN REAL

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My heart

haha, yeah,

sorry for this.

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Some idiot: Enoch is so mean and moody

My friend: no stop don't do it

Some idiot: I hate him

My friend: what have you done

Other friend: not again

Me: *falls from sky*

Me: bippity boppity shut the fuck up and sit down it's time I educate you

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He’s an asshole but he’s also a tol cinnamon bun who’s just really misunderstood and i really love him ok.

Me @ Enoch O’Connor (via probablepeculiar)

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Divorce

Enoch: I love you Jake

Jake: hahah bro are you like,,, gay?

Enoch: ...

Jake: ....

Enoch: we've been married for ten years

Jake: ..is that a yes?

Enoch: I want a divorce

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Dating Enoch O’Connor would include:

Not requested I’m just really trash for good ol’ baby boy Enoch:

- Him being really awkward around you at first

- Miss Peregrine and Horace / Millard / Emma briefly discussing how happy you two are with each other

- Really awkward but really cute hand holding

- In fact he REALLY likes holding your hand, and finds himself grabbing it several times throughout the day, even for short periods of time

- Him being really hostile around Jacob if he gets too close to you

- “You know she’s mine, right?”

- If you played an instrument, he probably loved listening to you play it.

- Sometimes you two walking to each others rooms in the dead of the night because you’re ‘cold’ or ‘can’t sleep’

- Cute little kisses throughout the day 

- All the others being happy that Enoch was happy (but mostly they were happy that he wasn’t so rude to them when you were around)

- Him rigging his homunculi to bring you flowers while you read in the library

- c u d d l e s

- Him being incredibly overprotective of you

- No but seriously ^^

- “Y/N are you okay you have a scratch.” “Enoch It’s just a scratch.” “But you could be dying.” “Enoch I’m fine.”

- If you have a mental illness he drops anything to help you when it gets hard to deal with

- Helping with his homunculi

- “You’re so beautiful.”

I’ll probably make another one of these cause I really liked making this.