unicornwarsincorrect - Tumblr blog

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Achuchones, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY! Carcias, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

Okay hear me out-

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Achuchones: My hands are cold. Gordi: Here, let me hold them. Achuchones: My lips are cold too. Gordi: *covers Achuchones's mouth with their hand*

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Carcias: I love you. Padre, not paying attention: What was that? Carcias: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

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Pompon: I love murder mysteries! Azulin, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

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Gordi: Can I have some water? Azulin: *starts chugging their water bottle* Azulin: *chokes from drinking too fast* Azulin: *spills water all over themself* Azulin, coughing: I don't have any water.

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Carcias, to Achuchones: If the thought of something makes any of you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume you’re not allowed to do it.

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Gordi: I fell— Achuchones: From heaven? Gordi: No, I literally fell— Achuchones: In love with me the moment you saw me? Gordi: MY ARM IS BROKEN! Achuchones: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

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Pompon: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE! Pompon:��*aggressively throws water bottles* Padre: Uh... what's up with them? Gordi: They're trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us. Pompon: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU! Azulin, crying: It's working.

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Azulin: Pompon and I are no longer dating. Pompon: Azulin, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

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Azulin: Hey Achuchones, can you give me the opposite of these words? Azulin: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Achuchones: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Achuchones: The fucking satisfaction.

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Gordi: Azulin told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with

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Achuchones: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

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Padre: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to- Padre: *sees Carcias shoving Azulin into the washing machine while Achuchones records and Gordi watches* Padre: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

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Carcias: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. The Squad: Awwww- Carcias: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." The Squad: Oh.

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Gordi: Dad just insisted Azulin and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter. Gordi: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

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Azulin: So, what's it like living with Achuchones? Gordi: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter." Azulin: ... Gordi: I love them so much.

Gordi is Moronsexual confirmed

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Commander Fluffy: What are you drinking? Azulin: Vodka. Comander Fluffy: Straight? Azulin: No, gay. Why?