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Okay this is legit terrible ass fucking timing but I gotta press pause on all this until tomorrow

I only 20 minutes in 😔😔

If I’m lucky, I’m going to finish listening to TAZ Balance by June, next year

But oh well

Hopefully this is the start of a beautiful beautiful disaster

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The Adventure Zone Balance Liveblog: Part Two of ????

Episode 56: The Suffering Game-Chapter Six

Griffin: Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention this: the room around you, it kinda… it appears like you’re on the Rockport Limited again. Like, the room around you looks like you’re in a train car battling, and there’s like virtual windows looking out to like the passing countryside, like you’re on a train. Like, the room is recreating the scenes of these classic battles.

Travis: What a nice treat for the audience!

It i s a nice treat, my minds eye is very happy with this stage building (gOd I love Wonderland as a setting. Everything about how it’s set up, the aesthetics, mwah chiefs kiss, thank you for creating the perfect torturous hell Griffin)

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Justin: Uhh let’s see, I’m going toooOooo… hurt Jenkins! (*Griffin chuckles*) With a magical spell. Of my own choosing~

Justin: Of my ownnnn-

Clint: This would be a spell that is magical?

Justin: Yeah, I’m just gonna do...you know what? I’m not gonna get clever on him.

Justin: I’m just gonna hit him with a...juicy, juicy, “Scorching Ray.”

Griffin: Mmkay!

Justin: I gotta make a ranged spell attack for each ray—

Clint: Are you scorching raayyy~~~

Griffin: Oh, that’s fun, Dad!

Travis: That was a good joke, Daddy!

Clint: I’m just bringing back an old one from the past!

Griffin: Yea, That’s a classic!

Clint: You’re bringing back all the bosses!

Griffin: -That’s a good point, Dad!

Griffin: Let’s do all our old jokes in this one!

Justin: Especially if they are like—

Travis: Yeah, let’s make this, this is like our “trapped in a room” episode, y’know, where we all—

Griffin: Yeah, this is our “bottle” episode.

Justin: Yeah, especially if they’re from other podcasts. That’s ideal.

I love banter (also is Justin okay he sounds either stoned or dead right now)

On another note, do-

Do other families other than the McElroys call their Dad Daddy? I have no idea if it’s a ironic thing or if it’s an actual thing people call their father figures? I'm trying not to base my American family centred knowledge entirely on the McElroys-

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*Dice Rolling Intensifes*

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Griffin: Something happens, that hasn’t happened in a w h i l e, and that is-

Travis: We feel something!

Mood

Griffin: He drops his wand, and Taako, your umbrastaff, turns inside out, and sucks that wand in, and devours it

Wait wait wait okay, I’m probably being real fucking dumb here and forgetting shit since it’s been a while since I listened, but weren’t they fighting like, conjurations? Made by all the fog and manikins? There was an actual wand?? Or more specifically, the Jerkins (Damn it-) counted as an actual wizard that was defeated?? I’m sure there was something said that I’ve forgotten like a goof, but whaaat?

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SHARK TANK HOO HA HA-

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Clint: All right! Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to cast Divination.

Griffin: Okay!

Clint: This puts me in touch with a god or god’s servant, so in this case, Pan. I get to ask a single question-

Griffin, sounding way too overjoyed: Ohoo this is perfect, thank you. This is a gift.

If I’ve learnt anything while listening to this masterpiece of a podcast, especially during this arc, it’s that a happy sounding Griffin is never a good thing

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Clint: I’m of no use as long as my powers aren’t working!

Griffin: Yeep!

Travis, amused: And so to combat that, you use one of your powers!

Griffin: You-you pray-

Clint: Travis, I am- Merle is a deeply spiritual character (*que incredulous Travis laughter*)

Clint: And in times of need, he turns to his God for guidance!

Griffin: Okay. Hit him up-

Travis: Like any good religious person, when he needs something.

Travis isn’t showing any mercy rn and in doing so, he’s fucking murdering me

Also Clint's talking to Pan voice is amazing, but it’s not as amazing as Griffin's “I know something you don’t right now but I'm going to play along with it for now because I'm an agent of chaos ; )” voice

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Griffin: He’s just not there, he’s not there supporting you with holy power, he’s just-he's just gone

So what he’s out for smoko or something?

Real talk though, wheres Merle's homeboy at? Is this a Wonderland thing where there’s bad connection, or is it something else? Merle's cleric magic has been consistently wonky, but it’s still been working, so Pan couldn’t just be g o n e like Griffin delightedly revealed, other wise Merle probably wouldn’t of been able to cast any of his shit at all right? ((I assume, I confess I’m not exactly the most knowabable about Clerics-)) So this has gotta be a Wonderland thing, right? Unless Pan legit is just, out drinking with the mates, but from memory, didn’t Merle catch him at a bad time before during Crystal Kingdom?

... damn I need to relisten to shit

Wait okay, Griffin just said “less and less well”, so yes, Merle's shit is slowly getting worse n worse. Is it just gonna be McGone like Pan near the end of this? I’m curious to see what that means for Clint and how he'll deal with things if that’s the case

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Griffin: What the Fuck's Cam gonna cast?

I was about to make a comment about that being a new smash hit graphic novel title, but I’m now too busy laughing at Griffin loosing his dice off the table

Feel ya there bud, feel ya there

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Griffin: -you see a potted plant appear, and then a guillotine, and then a marble column, and then a coat rack, and then nothing.

Legit, what the fUcK is Mr Red Robe doing over there, and can I be invited because it sounds like they’re having my kind of party right now

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Travis: Yeah! In fact, I am! Um, like listen, at this point, the magic people seem to have this shit down. All I’m gonna do is, what? Hit a tank with my axe? No no no. I’m gonna do what Magnus does best and go pull the arms off some things.

Actualy Travis, I would very much like to see Magnus hit the tank with his Axe, but I confess that that is not something I want to happen with Magnus's best interests in mind

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Travis: I'm gonna pull the arms off, maybe throw the bodies at the tank-

That’s absolutely feral, I love it

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The Adventure Zone Balance Liveblog: Part One of ????

Episode 56: The Suffering Game-Chapter Six

It’s admittedly been a while since I listened, I’m probably running for one of the longest first listens to Balance ever at this point, but here we go! What better time to try finally finish this dang thing when the worlds locked inside am I right?

Nnnnn I'm really looking forward to this heh, so far the Suffering Game is turning into my favourite Arc (despite me,,,,spoiling quite a few details of it in advance that might hinder my experience here a little, but oh well!!!) so I'm really excited to finally see it to the end

I don’t quite know the procedure for this, so apologies if I’m spamming the tag? I’ll be tagging everything under Astro's TAZ Liveblog (I know I know, my creativity astounds even me), so there’s absolutely no hard feelings if you block that shit my dude

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Clint: Thank you. Thank you for the compliment.

Griffin: Dad, you’re such a cazzyuall.

Travis: You’re a cazUaLL

Right of the bat we're bullying Clint, that’s how you know this’ll be fun

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Griffin: -you did break your wand in the Ogre trial-

Okay yea Jesus Christ I straight up completely forgot Taako even had a wand, brilliant work me on that front (also I almost wrote orgy trial. Taako did not break his wand in an orgy trial)

(...well-)

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Justin: I too am a magic boy, and I’ve never had a bonus action in my fucking life

Griffin: Cam is uninhibited by a-by a bunch of extra weight

Ya mean the rest of his fucking body there Griffin?

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Griffin: Next up is Jerkins? Which is what I-I guess it autocorrected-I have it down as saying-in my text document-“Jerkins goes after Magnus who is next”-

This episode is just a wonderful time for unfortunate misspellings huh?

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Griffin: -you see a dresser? Just appear, out of nowhere, and then it quickly disappears, and then it’s replaced by a bookshelf. And then that bookshelf dispenses? And then it’s a fire place, and then it’s a lamp, and then it’s nothing

I don’t remember this part in Beauty and The Beast...

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Griffin: Taako, you’re up, you got a pretty bad off Jerkins-

Phrasing, Griffin, P h r a s i n g-

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Me? Starting a TAZ Balance Liveblog at episode 56? It’s more likely than you think

(It’s not my fault I had this idea already knee deep in Abracafuck yous-)