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The worst part about all this is that all I keep thinking about is the fact that I have to wake up early tomorrow

When I would rather just not wake up at all

Because then the pain

And the suffering

And the constant letdown

And everything contributing to my “struggling”

Would vanish.

If things always get better

Then why do I still lie awake at night thinking of all the ways I could stop myself from becoming the person everyone knew I would turn out to be?

Why do I continue to let myself believe that I am not the way I am

If things always get better?

I lied.

The worst part about this is that you convince yourself that the suffering is temporary

When in reality

The suffering will always be attached to you

Waiting

And

Waiting

For you to become weak

Vulnerable

And ready for the end.

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In the beginning of May you told me I took your breath away

And by the end of May you couldn’t stand to look at me

And yet by the end of December you were still the only one I ever wanted

It was so easy for you to push me away

Like a moving box

Going from one home to another

My feelings

Trapped inside

With nowhere to go

There was a time when I was okay

And I let you be a distant memory in my mind

All the nights we laid in my bed and forgot about the rest of the world

All the days we laughed

And kissed

And felt at home

There was a time when I was okay

And then I realized that for you to move on

I had to move on

But

I’ve loved you

From the moment I met you

After all this time I didn’t think I would be fine

But here I am strong

And still missing you

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Virginia, U.S.A.

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I have so much love to give and nobody to give it to

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The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever.

Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook (via astound)

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A dying friend once told me, ‘I wish I hadn’t spent so many Mondays wishing it were Friday. I also wish I had made better use of those Fridays, for better stories on Monday.’

A Wolf’s Thoughts  (via forebidden)

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|Winston|

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