unionizeurmom

[unionizeurmom]

Today I had to go to the dentist at 8:00 a.m. So, I skipped breakfast and then later got a coffee and a pastry. So I ate probably 600 to 700 calories to start my day. I usually start my day with a 1200 calorie protein shake. The entire day I have felt like I'm going to die lol

[unionizeurmom]

Was trying to get video of the big ass whale that was out there. Bitch ass kept diving for 2-4 minutes at a time. Lol

[unionizeurmom]

And so, if the answer is no, can I change your mind?

[unionizeurmom]

[unionizeurmom]

😴😴

[unionizeurmom]

In upcoming elections, vote for progressives and outright socialists. Just for the debates, ya know? Like it's time to make bullying great again young socialists vs boomers? We'd crush. Bless up 🙏

[unionizeurmom]

I'll never have a chance in politics. It's genuinely so fucked. Like we're expecting toughness and resistance from this mother fucker... Okay and how is he going to resist? Wagging fingers and holding bats?

[unionizeurmom]

Behold, my dog is smarter than your child. Lol jk jk

[unionizeurmom]

Puppies being undisturbed by fireworks is literally some of the worst content. They just fall asleep the whole time. 😑 Good behavior should be grabby! Lol

[unionizeurmom]

Birb

[unionizeurmom]

Years ago, I was smoking with a friend and a small nug fell on the carpet as per usual. I made the timeless joke "if you could roll this carpet up and smoke it... " Whatever. Anyway I was like "but I hate dropping nugs!" Idk why but he responded "yeah, one time when I was 7 I had a massive booger I picked and accidentally dropped on the floor and it was too good to pass up. I got down, picked it up and ate it"

Brother what the fuck? Lol

[unionizeurmom]

I just want to make you cum for like 3 hours to the point of physical exhaustion but nooooooooo we have to witness the downfall of western society into fascism in the most powerful nation on the planet.

[unionizeurmom]

Elle Woods was taught the Bend and Snap™️ by her mother while in middle school.

We all let that happen.

[unionizeurmom]

Monster fucking™️ for dudes vs chicks is so different bc men have to breed with like what appears to be human and capable of producing offspring. Women however, simply need penetration, so that can come in many forms lol

[unionizeurmom]

Sometimes when people tell me what is going on in their life (80 year old guests at my hotel) I get this idea that I'm seeing tabloids in a universe I don't give a shit about. Like I hate conversations. There's something wrong with me lol