unitedbydevils

[unitedbydevils]

15th Place

A little different to the women's performances this season lmao, or the academy for that matter.

That being said... WE ACTUALLY PLAYED WELL. Fuck me sideways.

Amorim said he was going to play to win and win we did. Of course, we had a little help: first from VAR being useless. The referee blew for a foul on Bayindir from Morgan Rogers for kicking the ball out of his hands. Only, it wasn't two-hand secure. Should have been a goal, VAR agreed, but the referee having blown somehow meant it can't be overruled. Wild.

The second help came via Emi Martinez just moments later who, having been sold out by a shite Matty Cash backpass, decided to floor Rasmus Hojlund and get a straight red. Whoops.

As you can see from the below, and hilariously his first ever straight red card, he just full on body slams the Dane into next week. Comedy gold for everyone but Villa fans.

So yeah, Martinez fucked it for Villa and United kept playing well. We're still a mile shy of being genuinely good, but we know this. This summer will probably be a HUGE clearout like Amorim's first exodus at Sporting (that was 25 people fyi). Those on the field put in a shift though. Ayden Heaven looked very good, so a back three with De Ligt and Yoro next season isn't out of the question, but so did a higher Bruno and Amad RWB. A lot of mistakes that could have been avoided for the Europa final...

Despite United's dominance and man advantage, it took until the 76th minute for Bruno Fernandes to whip in a beautiful curling lob to back post for Amad Diallo of all people to head home. A genuine moment of brilliance but also, a genuine glimpse at the United of old. That was a move that Fergie's United would do, and that just shows how far away the rest of United's quality is from those two - at least in consistency, if not technical ability.

10 minutes later and a foul on Amad in the box led to a penalty. Bruno? No, Christian. A parting gift from Bruno and Casemiro saw our Danish mid take and score the penalty in his last ever United appearance, ahead of his departure this summer with his contract expiring. What he lacks in legs he mostly makes up for with intelligence, but unfortunately that's no longer enough.

There will rightly be outrage from Villa players, staff and fans about their disallowed goal. HOWEVER. They weren't good today. They were poor and United were good. You'd think our league positions were different. Amad hit the post, Casemiro hit the post, we had goalmouth scrambles. Someone on Twitter pointed out that based on United's xG and Gyokeres' average returns, he could have made that a 5-0 win for us today if he was in not Hojlund.

Simon Stone's tweet below also reflects the very well documented inconsistencies United have had. It's hard to build confidence when you have a blundering keeper and a non-entity up front. I like Rasmus, but he needs to be down the pecking order. If he doesn't like that, leave. We can't afford passengers.

Some small solace is the fact that Spurs got giddy and then had their pants pulled down by Brighton. That means we finish 15th, and for them it's 17th. Har har. The problem is, had we played like we did today versus them on Wednesday, we do this exact same thing to them, win a trophy, and get Ange sacked. Fucksake.

Props to Jose Mourinho by the way - posting on socials a pic of him with the EL trophy for United in 2017. Shithouse 😂

To sign off then, check out Ruben Amorim's speech below, where he apologises to the fans but also promises that the improvement starts now.

I like the guy. I believe in his words and his promise. I like his footballing philosophies and I can see things slowly creeping in on the field. I liked Ten Hag though, so I'm pragmatic enough to not get giddy. That said, I think we've had two smart managers in a row.

The difference is that Amorim has the ruthlessness that ETH lacked and flexibility in his tactics. The Dutchman knew he was seen as a bit odd and a bit cold, so he didn't go hard enough on players because he had one style of play, one formula, and wanted them to buy in. Amorim's got some charisma, so he IS able to be confident and tell people to fuck off. He punched a fucking TV early into his tenure. Man's got fire. He also knows his system is more accommodating than Ten Hag ball and has tried to mix it up with the squad. People have been letting him down - bar the EL final which was on him.

People saying the 3-4-3 can't work blah blah blah. It's all positions and duties on a field, regardless of the default line-up. If we're losing a game, do our wing backs not essentially become full backs? Or vice versa, winning and bam, wingers. The 4-3-3 upset the classic 4-4-2. The 4-2-3-1 tried to upset that. The 3-4-3 is just another alternative. All of these formations still have individuals with duties; the duties to run, press, tackle, pass, cross, score. Guess what? A lot of these duties within specific roles haven't been fulfilled this season - hence the need for an exodus.

We keep talking about a rebuild, but it needs to happen now or we're stuck mid-table. We won't finish this low again with one game a week going on, we just won't. We'll have more tactical prep time and better recovery windows for fitness/injury. In a weird way it'll be welcome.

The obvious problem is that you can't rebuild on rotten foundations, and United have had a culture post-Fergie where managers aren't entirely the top dog. Moyes was a letdown, but Louis, Jose, Ole, ETH... we tried tactics, legend, vibes, and tactics. What happened? Players took the piss. They graft when they want to, and sulk a lot. Bore off. Focus up or go elsewhere. We're all tired of it - including Ruben after six months.

So what happens next? Well, two post-season games in Kuala Lumpur on Wednesday and Hong Kong on Friday and THEN the season's done. Cash grab over, we break and rest and prepare for the carnage. There will be many departures. Evans, Eriksen and Lindelof are gone. Heaton? Maybe. Who knows. Man's a survivor.

There might also be many arrivals. Cunha still looks wrapped up. All I hope is that Ruben gets the pre-season he deserves, and players worth our time. That happens and we'll see fireworks, and we'll prove the many media folk getting comfortable just assuming United managers are bad that they are wrong - and lazy.

Anyway, check out the match highlights below. For once, they're not miserable, and this one doesn't have Ally McCoist shitting his knickers about the Rogers goal drama.

[unitedbydevils]

Second Place

So close, but congrats to Bayern for winning the inaugural World Sevens tournament.

Also lol that we threw a 1-0 lead to lose 2-1 in a final 😂

It's sad to lose a final, but this was a fun tournament, a bit of fitness work ahead of the Women's Euros, and we still won £740,000 - valuable funds for United's war chest given how dire the men's team have been and how little I reckon Jim Ratcliffe will part with to support them in light of how much work and effort is needed to repair the shitshow and restabilise the club as a whole.

I said before about how the production values for the broadcasting of the tournament could be better, but so too could the choice of location and ability to get fans in. It was chill, so maybe they liked that approach, but you could easily get more people in attendance and up the ante.

Still, the girls had fun with their walk-ons and celebrations, and it gives me hope that we can continue the Vibes FC approach that's papering over Skinner's tactical deficiencies 😂

As a final note, huge shoutout to Simi Awujo - Breakthrough Player of the Tournament. She was stellar, and for all I'm digging at Skinner, he did say we'll see more of Simi next season and that he'd been sensible with her first year of pro football.

[unitedbydevils]

Summer Signings

I've listed who I'm selling. Now for who I'm signing if I'm United.

As I said in the last blog post, I'll list it as:

Who will we get

Who should we get, and

Who could we get

Who will we get

Two players: Matheus Cunha and Liam Delap.

United are crying out for a dazzling, technical 10 and a striker who actually plays as the centre-forward and can score. These two tick those boxes. I'm not saying they're Champions League winning quality, but they're better than what we've got and they do improve us. They would have made the difference vs Spurs in the EL final...

Who should we get

One name stands out as the prime target - Viktor Gyokeres. He's good, he proved he was up to the physicality in the Championship, and he's gone from strength to strength at Sporting. He suits Amorim football to a tee, but he is Champions League quality. Will he waste a year or more away from it gambling on us to qualify? I doubt it.

Beyond that, I still really think we're weak at the 10 even with Cunha in. I'd be looking at Bryan Mbeumo from Brentford. I think he's more of the scorer we need than Cunha is, though we want his technical skill and his shithouse temperament. Those two behind Delap would be fire & ice, and I like that. I see Mbeumo as the next Sane in terms of development.

Who could we get

None of the names above are surprising. This section is where we get fun and start listing potentials:

Victor Osimhen - A world-class striking talent. You'd be silly not to want him, but it'd be a bold move from him to come to our shit show. That said, we are a step up in stature from Galatasaray...

Jean-Philippe Mateta - This one might seem odd, given Palace won the FA Cup and are now into the Europa League and we're not in Europe at all, but playing well for Palace hasn't earned Mateta a regular France spot. Playing for United, and well, would, and he'd have plenty of game time.

Tyler Dibling - A good young prospect who can play RWB and as the right 10. I like the idea of him and Amad rotating in games, and maybe he's affordable from Southampton, but they were talking big money and we're not going to fuck around overpaying.

Denzel Dumfries - A proper RWB. Mazraoui isn't one, and Dalot is average. Amad has been our best pick but it seems Ruben wants him in the right 10 more.

Emi Martinez - Villa are letting him go and he's better than Onana. If he's available on a good deal... why not.

Zion Suzuki - The young Japanese keeper is currently at Parma and doing well. He'd like a United move, but he said before he'll only go places as their no1. It might be a few years too soon, but who knows.

Rayan Cherki - I really like him. Great with both feet, can hang wide or cut in, offers goal threat, composure on the ball, willing to receive... if he's available I'd get him with a quickness.

Adam Wharton - The next Ruben Neves. We need a midfielder to sit, in a pair, and dictate games. Someone to pull the strings reliably, ala Carrick. Wharton does that, and given his overlook from Tuchel for the England squad... reviving United could be the way he earns the manager's respect.

Ruben Neves - The OG Ruben Neves lmao. He's everything Adam Wharton offers and more. He has experience to boot, and is a tried and tested leader. He'd be someone reliable and dependable in our squad and our dressing room, and that leadership and standard setting is exactly what we need.

Jonathan David - Available on a free from Lyon. Why not. He's quick, similar profile of forward to Gyokeres... can't be worse than Hojlund.

Angel Gomes - Another free from Lyon and a former United academy player. While he's a bit small, he's very good on the ball and under pressure. He has that close quarters technique we see in Mainoo, but he's more at home sat further back in CM.

Francisco Trincão - A good RW from Sporting. We can't have Quenda because Chelsea got in first, so who else can we rob that Amorim trusts?

Franco Mastantuono - The kid's mint. If he goes anywhere but Barca/Real I'll be surprised, but Yoro came to us. We could offer a similar stepping stone for him on his rise to stardom...

Éderson - Atalanta's CM has been linked to us repeatedly. He's good, but he's quite similar to Ugarte. He offers a bit more passing range and box-to-box profile, but I feel he'd be rotating WITH Ugarte, and that we'd still need a playmaker CM alongside.

A lot of potentials and prospects there. I still feel there are probably more goalkeeping options we haven't considered though.

Here's hoping for a busy old summer. I want a lot of people fucked off out of our club - and ideally shot into the sun - and a lot of fresh blood, eager to battle and win, brought in. UTFR.

[unitedbydevils]

Summer Sales

Right, post-mortem time. The Villa game will be a defeat unless some miracle happens, so lets go ahead and dissect this shitshow of a squad.

I'll break it down into definites of KEEP, MAYBE, and SELL.

Keep: Yoro, Amad, Mazraoui, De Ligt, Martinez (pending injury recovery), Heaven, Fredricson, Ugarte, Obi.

Nine players stay, and three are academy prospects breaking through. Awful. The only upside is that 6/9 are INEOS acquisitions, so there's promise based on their recruitment.

That's not to say all of these are title-winners, but they're European level or that potential.

Maybe: Dalot, Amass, Mount (stays if he remains fit), Bruno, Mainoo, Collyer, Gore, Hojlund, Zirkzee.

Another nine potentially up for sale. Quality in depth matters.

Dalot isn't quality enough to be challenging but might last a little longer as we rebuild.

Amass... needs to bulk up else he's too lightweight.

Mount is a major injury risk and needs to stay fit and build form, else fuck off.

Collyer, Gore, Rasmus, Zirkzee - are they good enough?

I think Zirkzee is, albeit not a typical CF, and I rate Gore. Collyer could be a useful squad player - legs, strength, tactical obedience... which then leaves Rasmus who has had an all-time hall of fame stinker season. He might be cooked.

Sell: Onana, Bayindir, Maguire, Malacia, Shaw, Casemiro, Rashford, Garnacho, Antony, Wheatley, Sancho.

Everyone here needs to fuck off.

Onana has been dogshit and had the audacity to mouth off at Matic?

Bayindir had one good FA Cup game.

Maguire's miracle header vs Lyon can't hide the fact he's a slow defender who doesn't scan, is slow, and doesn't score enough headers for someone so aerially dominant. He's no Steve Bruce. He also has the turning circle of an oil tanker.

Shaw has missed more games for United than he's played. GET HIM OFF THE BOOKS. Awful in the final too. Man has talent but can't sustain it. Don't waste our time and money.

Casemiro is ageing and whilst he had a good European campaign... nah. He's dusted re: the Prem.

Rashford's head's gone. He looked better at Villa but nobody got too giddy. That said, there's no doubting he's European competition quality. He just wasn't / isn't doing it for United.

Garnacho is also on the chopping block. Too much talking to the press and chatting shit on socials. Enough is enough. He's had what, 11th most shots in the league but 64th for goals scored? Wasteful. He's young, I get it, but he's not focused at United. Sell him, cash in, let him have a fresh start elsewhere.

Antony... I don't understand him. Useless in our league, amazing in La Liga. Cool. Give us the cash for him and lets just move on.

Ethan Wheatley is a good prospect but had a stinker loan at Walsall where they just didn't really use him. That's concerning. Amad had it at Rangers, so it could be a blip, but I think he should be sold to the Championship - maybe a West Brom - with a buyback clause.

Sancho is a miserable shit who can't go to bed on time or get up on time and dislikes not being the star of the show. Ego, ego, ego. Sell, and throw shoes at him on the way out.

Heaton, Evans, Lindelof and Eriksen are all out of contract, hence not being included. Lindelof is the standout name there though - a serious United should never have let it get this far along with him being at the club still, even though he has a good mentality and cares. Ability matters more.

Realistically, looking at the above, we have 4 contract expiries and 4 sales (Rashford, Sancho, Antony, Malacia) happening. 8 definite departures. That could eaaaaasily increase with youth sales, but also big offers for your likes of Bruno, Garnacho, Mainoo... We could be in for a summer of huge changes.

We need INEOS to follow through on this though. Strongarm people like Maguire out. Leave, or don't play and don't make the England squad. Make your decision - make bank and look like a prick to the public, or leave and go earn that spot.

I don't have faith the above will happen though. I really don't.

Next blog: Summer Signings. Who will we get, who should we get, and who could we get.

[unitedbydevils]

World Sevens Football

This... is actually quite refreshing?

I will caveat that this new, random World Sevens Football tournament in Estoril, Portugal needs work. Some commentary is good, some is bad and just waffle. Some of the hosting and punditry is good, some is bad and offers no information or humour. It's just speaking for the sake of it.

The vibes are great but some of the production values are a little lacking, but hopefully that will improve next year and onwards - should this format and tournament survive and thrive.

That being said, despite it being post-season and ahead of the Euros and controversyyyy... it's actually more of a fitness exercise and a bit of a fun showcase of women's football than a mad, risky tournament that's hyper competitive. I think the players like the lack of seriousness, and who doesn't want a mental reprieve rather than stern focus on achieving?

Performance in any walk of life is a balancing act between focus, preparation, and self-care. Stress will not keep players in the best shape or mindset, so I'm all for blowing off a bit of steam with an event like this. It's goofy. We have a DJ during games. Go with it.

United edged out Roma in a tight 3-2 win yesterday, with Manuela Giugliano scoring two absolute bangers to keep United honest. Had Malard and Terland finished as they should have though... we could have been well clear, but Bizet, Toone and Clinton got us over the line.

That improved today, with a much more professional 3-1 win over locals Benfica - goals coming from Bizet again but two for young Canadian midfielder Simi Awujo, who looks lively and well at home in this smaller format.

We finished today with a heavily rotated finale against PSG to decide 1st and 2nd respectively - though they also rotated to give players fair gametime and to protect stars. Most notably was no Mary Earps at the tournament at all - rested by PSG - but both sides filtered star players in and out to keep things competitive, and it made for a tense game. Karchaoui scored almost immediately past Safia Middleton-Patel, before captain Le Tissier evened things up, and then PSG did it all over again hitting United from the restart of the second half through Echegini (beating Kayla Rendell now), before Jess Simpson of all people equalised with a lovely low finish. This led to golden goal extra time, and then to penalties, which United won 7-6.

If I'm a United scout, I'm looking at Manuela Giugliano from Roma and Lily Yohannes from Ajax. Both really impressed during the tournament - despite being eliminated.

Giugliano is a box-to-box midfielder with a strong workrate and great shooting from distance. At 27 she's not 'young', but she's also not old, and United have a young squad. A little bit of experience in the mix - and a bit more grit - will help, especially with a Champions League or Europa Cup campaign ahead on top of the WSL and domestic cups.

Yohannes is a more obvious name and prospect. 10 years Giugliano's junior, she's also a midfielder, though it's unclear where the 17-year-old actually best fits - if she has a specific spot in mind. In this tournament you'd swear she's a CAM, but her positioning for Ajax in the league has been all over the midfield - and in 4-4-2, 4-3-3, 4-2-3-1, 4-1-4-1 formations. She's versatile. It's no surprise that she's so well rated, and I'm glad Emma Hayes is playing it cool about her potential for the US national team, but in Lily we have a player who is adaptable, agile, strong, technically brilliant, calm under pressure and the press, and can finish.

For me, United have two problems hindering us from being title challengers:

We didn't replace Lucia Garcia properly

We lack midfield "presence"

Geyse was a good idea and I like her. I'd like her to stay, and she'd have walked this tournament with her skills, but I feel like we burned that bridge with her still crossing it and then threw a rock at her on the way down. Regardless, she's a tekkie player and not a shithouse like Lucia. We need a battler like Galton, and Garcia was that.

On point 2...

Dom Janssen is a battler, but really should be CB not CDM due to her passing range limitations.

Lisa Naalsund is a good passer but can get bullied physically, and she's not exactly pacey.

Hinata is great vs a press, but as Chelsea showed, she can get bullied physically due to her size.

Grace is a great dribbler and goal threat, and she has the tenacity we need, but she needs to be offensive.

Tooney the same.

Simi Awujo is a grand prospect, but she's young and raw. I've got high hopes for her to be the CDM we need, but it'll take time, and do Clinton/Toone gel more or is it the Lampard/Gerrard situation?

Emma Watson is a good CAM/RW pick, but she's more of a wide playmaker than a winger. She has good vision and technique but she's so-so for pace and a bit wee in size so will get bullied.

Mared Griffiths is a good academy prospect. She's 18 and made her debut against Wolves in the FA Cup, scoring twice as a late sub, and like Watson she can play CAM or in her case LW. I rate her tenacity and combativeness higher than Emma's, but we're stacked for attacking mids and lacking deeper.

This is why I flag these two. Plenty of games, plenty of chance for rotation. We wouldn't burn out a young prospect in Yohannes, and we'd give enough game time to someone like Giugliano who's in their prime. It might mean a little less gametime for Janssen perhaps, but then Millie and Maya play so much... use her in CB. Rotate 3 across 2 spots. Protect people from knocks and niggles.

Tomorrow is the final day of the tournament then, and will see all four sides play two more games: a semi-final, and either a final or a third place playoff.

Group 1 winners FC Bayern München will take on Group 2 runners-up Paris Saint-Germain at 3pm BST, whilst the Manchester derby between City and United (2nd and 1st respectively) will happen from 4:30pm BST.

Based on what I've seen of City, it'll be a tough game but they are vulnerable to direct play, and United have proved quite cutting at that. Kerolin, Park and Aoba Fujino have all looked tidy, but so too have Bizet, Malard, Clinton, Toone, Awujo...

My expectation is a narrow win for United and a tough final vs Bayern. They look strong, but again, it's hard to judge how strong. My gut tells me they're favourites over us, slightly, but we're in it to win it and we've a good bunch of scrappy bastards, so I could see us clutching the cup and the much-desired prize pool.

How to watch:

All games are live, for free, over on DAZN. I've been watching on their YouTube but I will warn you that the United vs PSG game's penalties got stuck in a Maya Le Tissier loop - whereas the website proper was fine for the rest of the shootout. Might be better to go direct if you can. BUT the entire previous coverage had been fine so who knows. Maybe just a freak bug.

Below is a video of today's games recapped, and there's one for yesterday on the DAZN account too. Enjoy!

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 Manchester United

4 games, 4 defeats. Spurs have violated us this season.

This one's staying brief because I'm just so disappointed I cannot be arsed. Our season has been atrocious. We could finish 17th after the Villa game on Sunday. We're a joke of a team.

The one bright spark was Leny Yoro. The kid's mint. Amad had a good first half and a quiet second. Everyone else? Fuck off. Bruno had a stinker as captain. If that Saudi bid materialises, you'd better believe I'm cashing in. REBUILD TIME.

United on paper: 73% possession, 16 shots (6 on target), and a lower xG than the Spuds. Telling, isn't it. We're so fucking braindead and toothless it's unreal. I hope it's players being potatoes rather than Amorim being a shit coach/teacher, and based on his past success that would appear the case but... you never know.

Brennan Johnson's goal was calamatous by Shaw and Onana but fair dos, they all count, and unlike Hojlund we has in the right spot.

Van de Ven's goal-line clearance from the Hojlund header in the second half was elite (though not as shocking as Rasmus actually doing something jfc). Vicario had a couple of decent saves too.

Other than that, did Spurs really do a lot? They were poor too. Not good in possession and not especially dangerous on the break. This was an atrocious game of football and a real kick in the dick for the Premier League as a showcase of our division.

So, who's to blame for giving Casemiro his first ever cup final defeat? Well, everyone. Including Case.

United's ownership for acquiring shit players and shit staff.

Amorim for his team selection and subs.

Players for half-arsing it or shitting their pants on the field. This is a collective fuck-up.

The ONLY silver lining for next season is that we'll lose between 4 and 14 players this summer, and maybe some of them are because of tonight costing us Europe for next season. We'll also have some new blood come in (Cunha & co.) / academy prospects step up (Moorhouse? Kone?), and Amorim gets both a pre-season and more midweek training to educate our fucking morons.

But it'll be rough. Nobody fears us anymore, and nobody's going to fear us unless we hit the ground running early and put on a winning streak. Easier said than done, but it's a new campaign, a clean slate, and the manager will have had a fair chance to prepare. We wait with baited breath.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Chelsea Women 3-0 Manchester United Women

Congratulations Chelsea on the domestic treble. Woo...

My Futbology app politely reminded me that it was exactly a year to the day that I'd seen us get smashed 6-0 in the league at Old Trafford, just to add insult to injury.

In truth, it was a similar vibe of a performance - though marginally better. United actually started the brighter team and for the first 10 minutes or so I felt reassured that we were being more front-footed. Chelsea are confident when they get into their habitual playstyle. Even if you're giving them chances, if you're having them too they won't settle quite right.

That.. didn't last though. The loss of Jayde Riviere saw game time for the far weaker Aoife Mannion, who is fine vs most of the WSL but not your European contenders and certainly not Chelsea. The irony however is that it was actually the LB position that Chelsea were overloading; a nice bit of triangle third-man run play to swamp Galton and George and bomb down the flank. This dragged Millie Turner over, who got injured in one of her block tackles. Shame.

Chelsea's first came from the penalty spot, and an absolutely dogshit attempt at a tackle from Celin Bizet. It wasn't a penalty in my view, but with no VAR and the ref's angle, what was she meant to give? You can't flail a leg at waist height and expect it to be waved away.

Good penalty from Baltimore, Phallon went the wrong way, 1-0 Chelsea and they're in their element. Grand. The pressure had been building towards it but I thought if we could just get to half time at 0-0, we could make changes.

As it happened, we did. Skinner subbed off the injured Millie T for Tooney, dropping Dom to CB and chucking Ella into CM of course. This was actually a little better: Ella's tenacity and dynamism added something to the United midfield. Dom played well as CDM, so that's no shade. Rather, Hini felt like the weak link of the day. She's great under pressure, but she's a bit slight, and Chelsea were physical with her to steal the ball a few times. When you have Clinton losing it in the Bruno manner, trying to be creative, then you can't afford others doing it too.

Unfortunately, that was the case. Our CBs were grand. Full backs dire - and at one point late on Maya let Aoife know it. Hini, Grace and Bizet off it. Galton and Terland not getting service AND Leah got injured and was allowed to play on at half her usual pace ???

With a team like Chelsea, dominating the whole ball, you need a plan. We couldn't match their style, but we could have played long. Mel - Teri - Celin and go nuts. Instead we bring on Rach Williams, who in fairness did run harder than anyone else had at any point. She was locked in. Perhaps then some of this was mentality too. She has no fear, some of the girls did. I don't know.

Chelsea doubled their lead in the 84th minute through Macario; a crisp cross and header that just inched over Dom Janssen's head - very similar to how Reece James and Sideshow Bob scored for Chelsea against the men's first team.

With mere minutes to go, the doubling of the deficit obviously hurt. United pushed, gambled, and Chelsea stung us with a third and the winner in the 91st minute - again through Sandy Baltimore. No complaints, we got caught on the break and punished.

Three finals in a row. Lose, win, lose. Both defeats to Chelsea. Sigh.

What to take from that performance though... all I know is that bar Toone, our subs were poor - both in terms of strategy and impact. I also think Ella should have started over Hini (ironic given how I've praised her all season but Chelsea are more physical than anyone else and that matters here).

Our tactics seemed confused too, because I couldn't tell if we were trying to play our usual wide/overlap style or slow build-up through the middle. I think this final was the exposure of our limit as a squad. We're good, but we're not great, and until the men's team fix up, I don't think we'll be permitted to get great - and that frightens me. I don't want to undo all the good work to date, nor lose talent because of poor club support. This game would have been perfect for Lucia Garcia ahead of Celin Bizet. I rate Celin, a lot, but Chelsea's edge on United is that resilience and robust-ness element they have. Technical abilities are quite similar, bar Lauren James being an outlier - and she wasn't available so who cares. TLDR - we need a few more bastards in the side. Ideally a both-sided winger, a RB, and maybe a CM depending on our plans for Lisa Naalsund.

Anyway, well done Chelsea. Another classy performance of doing gambols and flips the second anyone tackles you. Nice to see so many of your fans on the train north while you were doing the trophy lift too. Clearly really loyal supporters 🤣

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Chelsea 1-0 Manchester United

The expected defeat, though not as bad as I thought it would be, but equally one so toothless it's despair worthy. Hojlund's days might well be numbered, and we all owe Zirkzee an apology for ever comparing the two. I just hope to be pleasantly surprised with future turnaround.

United had more possession some how? but otherwise we were just so incredibly tame. WE NEED GOALS. If I'm Amorim I'm screaming to get Cunha, Mbuemo, Delap... fucking Vardy even. Somebody to just put a ball in the net and keep opponents earnest. Rasmus needs time to focus on learning, development, and his mentality. He's an incredibly frustrating player, and it feels like he's regressing. Roy Keane said it was an academy level performance tonight - non complimentary. It was clumsy and aimless and downright shit.

Mount got another start, and was fine, and Maguire's offside goal was actually a class finish, but the yellow card offences from United were sloppy, the conceded goal was a moment of class from the home side, and a bunch of people not called Rasmus Hojlund continued to fail to impress.

Next Wednesday could be rough. I'm just glad Villa beat Spurs too. Battle of the Shitters commences in Bilbao in t-minus 5 days...

[unitedbydevils]

Thank you, Adam

Manchester United U18s coach Adam Lawrence has left his position as the club following the conclusion of the 2024/25 season.

Lawrence joined the club as Under-16s head coach in 2021 from Charlton Athletic, having previously been at Milwall, and followed his side through the age groups up to the U18s during his four-year spell at United.

The team narrowly missed on silverware this season but last season saw Lawrence's side claim three trophies - a stellar achievement, and second by two points this year can hardly be considered a failure.

Speaking to Manutd.com, Lawrence said: “I’m now ready for the next challenge but I’ll always cherish the memories made at this great club and can’t wait to see what the future holds for the players I’ve had the pleasure of working with.”

In the same statement (and as expected), Manchester United FC says it will search for and appoint Adam's replacement in due course ready for next season.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Manchester United 0-2 West Ham United

Nope. Fuck off. Wankers.

Bar Amad we were turd. And Yoro got hurt. There's no passion, no quality, no urgency, no care. Even Bruno was shit, though I can forgive him and Mazraoui for being overplayed.

Goal no1 was dogshit defending, goal no2 was ball-watching, dogshit defending. People stood in the wrong spots constantly. It's not good enough. Especially when we know we can't fucking score. We invite pressure, we struggle to create... we have to be sharper on what we CAN do, and paying attention is something any pro should have in their locker.

Gash stuff.

Chelsea next, then Spuds in the final midweek, then Villa as our league finale. Can't wait for this season to be over. I just hope it's with a trophy for the shits and giggles.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Arsenal Women 4-3 Manchester United Women

I know I said I wanted tactical versatility from Marc Skinner but come on...

Bit of a ding dong this one, so i'll keep my thoughts short and let you watch the - fairly exciting - highlights.

Chloe Kelly scored almost immediately because our PLAYER OF THE SEASON had a major, major fumble. Jesus christ. Phallon with butterfingers and the loanee darling pops one top bins.

Grace Clinton tested Zinsberger in response, who put in a huge save, but Ella Toone one-upped her with the equaliser - a lovely headed finish across goal to beat her stretch.

Bizet would hit the crossbar for United but not much else marked the first half. In contrast, the second half began with an Arsenal flurry; three goals in 11 minutes and United stunned. Foord went down to a Clinton tackle after having just bodied Bizet (seems fair) so penalty Arsenal, goal Caldentey. Frida Maanum then made it 3-1 in the 56th minute thanks to a clinical throughball from Katie McCabe to bypass captain Maya Le Tissier, and then a belting finish from Kim Little in the 61st minute made it four.

United fought back but only thanks to Katie McCabe; first a poor clearance that allowed Terland the chance to shoot - with a wicked deflection looping it over Zinsberger for 4-2. Then a clumsy challenge that downed Bizet for a penalty, with Le Tissier calmly popped away into the opposite side to Zinsberger's dive.

On paper the Gunners were the better team, and that to me is down to coaching rather than talent. Maybe you can improve on Mannion, Blundell, Williams, and in time Galton, but otherwise we've a pretty strong squad. At least in terms of clear and obviously acquirable improvements. My issue still resides with coaching and tactics.

A 3-4-1-2 with Dom Janssen at LCB, Sandberg and Bizet as wing backs, Clinton in a CM pivot with Miyazawa, Galton up front with Malard, and Terland on the bench. Hwhat?

Janssen, Bizet and Le Tissier can play RB. Why not just sub one for the absent Riviere/Mannion and keep the style the same? You can argue that Skinner can't win, but versus Arsenal it's a big risk to make a tactical shift like this. New tactics CAN upset opponents - Ten Hag did it to beat City and lift the FA Cup - but that was an ethos change too; sit back, soak up, hit on the break. This change from Skinner was personnel in different spots doing the usual strategy.

One game remains: Sunday's FA Cup Final against Chelsea. A repeat of our last tie vs them, or this game, and we're done for. Here's hoping we have something up our sleeves. End on a high.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Manchester United U18s 3-1 Sunderland U18s

A tidy end to the season for the U18s, second by just two points (admittedly lost to City from losing to them).

Sunderland struck first after just two minutes with an easy cut-back to and low finish from Felix Scott.

United evened things through Amir Ibragimov - what a lad - getting up high for a Shea Lacey corner to nod down at near post. Surprising finish but great goal.

Ibragimov then turned assist maker, winning a free kick after overlapping Lusale on the left and drawing a foul. His subsequent free kick hung nicely in the air mid-penalty box for Albert Mills to head home for 2-1.

Both sides would have chances but United would finish the job in the 92nd minute with a peach of a throughball from Zach Baumann for the run of Victor Musa, who ran on in timely fashion, stayed ahead of the defence, and slotted home coolly past the Black Cats keeper.

[unitedbydevils]

CHAMPIONES

The U15s have won the Premier League Floodlit Cup national trophy, beating Chelsea 3-1 last Friday at Leigh Sports Village.

It's a nice contrast to the U21s losing to City, and this lot ft. Kai Rooney and Jacey Carrick, overcame City 4-3 in the Northern final to get to the tie, but most impressively they were 3-0 down and fought back to 3-3 and won it in extra time. Mentality monsters.

On the night, it was Kai Rooney twice and Jodie Nganga (assisted by Kai) that got the goals for United and secured the silverware.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Manchester City U21s 2-0 Manchester United U21s

Bugger.

Last Friday saw City come out on top against the mighty Reds in the semi final of the U21PL playoffs, meaning a final against Southampton awaits.

Goals from Divin Mubama in the 66th and 90th minutes respectively sealed the tie for the Citizens, taking Mubama's PL2 total to five for the season - his first at City and one patchy with cameos for the first team to test his readiness.

Interestingly, City won't be keeping hold of Mubama in the U21s next season, with the player likely to move on elsewhere. Personally, a club like West Brom - in dire need of a striker - could be a good destination to help develop into a Delap or a Kane.

Back to this game though, and it's not even something we can fault. City's U21 side are truly brilliant, and whilst we're battling neck-and-neck at U18 level and below, our U21s is usually a touch weaker through loans or first team call-ups.

City were faster, stronger, and more technically proficient than United, though Wheatley and Kone were standouts for United. I'm not sure Ethan will stay at United much longer, and his Walsall loan spell was frustrating in League Two, but he has a future in League One or the Championship. He had City's defence on the backfoot with his pace, agility and control. Like Mubama he needs someone to give him time.

United's defensive positioning and marking was at fault for City's first, but the one touch passing to breach us for the second - and Mubama's cheeky back flick into the net - were just sumptuous. Shit happens, and it did. Top quality stuff.

So that's it. U21 season over... or is it? Chelsea on Friday, Amorim not wanting to risk senior players before Spurs (and likewise them before their final)... a battle of the U21s for a laugh?

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Manchester United 4-1 Athletic Club

That last half hour... ah, United.

Goals from Mason Mount, Casemiro, Rasmus Hojlund, and Mason Mount from 45 YARDS OUT ON HIS WEAKER FOOT turned a 1-0 deficit on the night into a big win.

The game wasn't especially good until Ruben Amorim made his substitutions. Mazraoui looked tired and thus off it, Maguire was bang average, Lindelof very poor, Onana poor, and that then filtered into Ugarte being sloppy on the ball... 5/11 people not pulling their weight, with Garnacho unable to finish either of two great chances and a shattered confidence Hojlund leading the line...

Luckily Bruno, Casemiro, Dorgu and Yoro were up for it tonight. Even with the odd mistake in there, lesser players crumble under the weight of their team shitting it. These lot will excel as their team improves.

And improve it did. Mount, Shaw and Amad came on for Ugarte, Mazraoui and Garnacho. Two goals followed - the first being absolute class from Mount and the second a fluke but prime placed Casemiro... shoulder?

The final subs followed, with Mainoo on for Case and Amass on for Lindelof. United kept up the intensity and the desire. We had tekkers. Mount's cheeky back flick off the 1-2 passing moves from Dorgu and Amad. I was nursing a semi, and if Amass had been brave enough to stride into the box and shoot... it could have been pants off and dancing round my apartment.

Amad and Dorgu's combination work on the right flank would lead to goal number 3, with a low pass actually finding Hojlund for once and an eaaaasy finish for 3-1, and then a great throughball from Amass for Hojlund was intercepted by the Bilbao keeper. Only, it didn't go high. It stayed low enough for an intercept. By Mason Mount. And the crowd said shoot. And he did. And it lofted over all, arcing, arcing, dropping... and it's 4-1 and we're all squealing. Scenes.

United this season have been a poor show. Amorim's said that enough times, and did again in his post-match with TNT.

A Europa League final win would not only be hilarious for beating Spurs, after losing to them 3 times this season but winning the 1 that matters, but it does so much more.

Silverware in his first HALF season, with a squad that's not his, silences the doubters and means he went unbeaten the entire campaign in Europe.

Champions League qualification.

The money for transfers.

The appeal for enticing new signings.

Support and trust to build the squad in his image.

United's banter era still delivering more silverware than most clubs can dream of.

A lot hangs on this final, but with Mount finding form, Garnacho and Hojlund scoring, Mainoo back from injury, Casemiro being a Rolls Royce, Bruno's elite talent... it feels like it's happening.

Avoid injuries to West Ham on Sunday and away at Chelsea the following Friday and we'll be in a strong place for the final. We also need people to have fitness and form though, so lets be resting Mazraoui for Sunday and give Mount a start. Lets make this happen.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Manchester United U21s 4-1 West Ham United U21s

We're into the semi finals...

United started brightly at Leigh Sports Village, but failure to put the likes of Ethan Wheatley and James Scanlon through saw the Hammers grow in confidence and ultimately take the lead.

A 30th minute error from Tyler Fletcher saw him robbed of the ball and West Ham break into the United box to Adiele, the Hammers' no10, for an easy driven finish.

Second Half FC showed up however, so all was well.

6 minutes into the second half and Tyler Fletcher would assist James Scanlon for the equaliser - his 22nd goal in 32 games this season, unreal.

Another Fletcher assist would happen nine minutes later, with Tyler winning an aerial ball back off Adiele and the poke actually working as a throughball for Ethan Wheatley, who finished cutely at the near post.

Sam Murray the left-back made it 3-1 with a heavily deflected shot to really kick West Ham when they're down, and Sam Mather added a fourth in stoppage time after an initial layoff from Murray and then a whole load of jinking through the West Ham defence to fizz one into the roof of the net. Job done, game over.

City away is our semi final reward, whilst Palace host Southampton. City won the league proper, whilst we came 5th, Palace 6th, Southampton 7th, so if anyone but City wins the playoffs... scandal. Lets hope it's us but if not, one of them to nick the thing.

Friday. 7pm. Get yourself along to support the mighty reds.

[unitedbydevils]

Match Review: Brentford 4-3 Manchester United

I'm not arsed. Just focus on winning the Europa, lads, and all else can be forgotten in time.

This was an incredibly young side on average, I think our third youngest ever in the Premier League? It had shades of Jose's young side vs Palace, ft. Josh Harrop.

Mason Mount scored, so that's nice, but our £60m injury-plagued attacking midfielder still didn't do a lot in the grand scheme of things. Worrying. And depressing that we paid for him so Chelsea could get Cole fucking Palmer.

Then United happens - Kayode's throw barely repelled, Amass bodied off the second ball like a ragdoll, and a mean deflection from Shaw means an own goal at the near post, though why Bayindir wasn't on it I do not know.

1-1 became 2-1 through Schade, became 3-1 late in the second half through Schade, became 4-1 through Wissa. Fuck.

United did have some fight in them though: give-and-go from Garnacho and Eriksen teed up the Argentine forward to hammer home a belting finish to make it 4-2, and a nutmeg finish from the edge of the box from Amad made it 4-3.

Too little too late from United, but the right people scoring goals in lieu of players like Bruno being rested ahead of Thursday's Europa second leg.

Was it good enough? No. But is United's squad? No. I'm taking Brentford's front line over ours at the moment. Says everything you need to know. Maybe Garnacho gets more consistent, maybe Mount delivers more, and Obi will come good in time, but ultimately we're weak and feeble and in our own heads at the moment. We're crawling to the finish line of the league season and it's not pretty viewing.