unluckyleprechaun

[unluckyleprechaun]

still mad about smart TVs. that shit should be in a separate box like you can literally buy one of them androidtv boxes for £30. it doesn't need its own ip address it doesn't need its own app store it doesn't need to replicate the functionality every device plugged into it already has

[unluckyleprechaun]

[unluckyleprechaun]

Trying not to say horrible things. But skinny indie designers who charge a fat tax....

[unluckyleprechaun]

@obscure-references-here

crossposting from bsky - glad I stopped using spotify when I did and that I unlinked it from my discord, but still

[ reddit thread | bsky post ]

[unluckyleprechaun]

‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves A stately pleasure-dome decreed. And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

[unluckyleprechaun]

Bonus under cut

[unluckyleprechaun]

I am so sick of these scammy bots wanting money from me. Every time I comment on something I get like 3 of them in my inbox. ITS DISGUSTING! IDC what political party you reside with. I don't care who you wanna blame in wars. IDC if you think I'm a trash American. But stop asking for money! I'm a broke as bitch like the rest of you! I live in a world that knows only war and survival on the barest of necessity. And that? Crosses borders. That's everyone everywhere.

But these scam bots? All trash Americans in one paragraph and then beg for money from Americans in the next. MAKE UP YOUR MIND If I'm garbage then so is my money.

[unluckyleprechaun]

[unluckyleprechaun]

@obscure-references-here you when you learned things :V

Damian becoming a med student and immediately getting way too invested in his family's health for no reason.

Damian, knocking on Dick's door: Richard, can I ask you a favor?

Dick, suprised: Yeah, of course, what's up?

Damian: I have a question for one of the Doctors in my school. Can you come with me on Friday?

Dick: Umm, sure, kid...Why? Do you need me to play the big bad intimidating brother?

Damian: No. But I do need you to avoid consuming any caffeine eight to twelve hours prior. And bring a list of all the medications you're taking.

Dick: What

*In the Batcave*

Damian, finishing taking a blood sample: I should thank you for letting me do this.

Jason, shrugging: Hey, whatever for a Batburger.

Jason: So... Why do you need my blood?

Damian: It's not important, really... You probably don't even have it–

Jason: Wow. Have what?

Damian: You have nothing to worry about...maybe.

Jason: What are you talking about??

Damian: I'm just making sure.

Jason: Damian! Making sure I don't have what??!!

Damian:

Jason:

Damian: Yeah, you probably don't.

Jason: *Launches at Damian*

*At a family dinner*

Bruce: So Damian, how is school going?

Damian: It's fine, Father.

Bruce, smiling and continuing eating: Good.

Damian:

Damian:...Father, have you ever gotten your prostate checked?

Bruce: I–

Jason: *chokes*

Tim: Oh god.

Damian: You should really see to it, it's important.

Dick: I'm pretty sure Selina–

Tim: Oh god, please shut up.

Jason: *Dies again*

[unluckyleprechaun]

the batkids use fathers day to scare bruce the same way parents use santa clause to scare kids about christmas into behaving well.

Bruce: if you can’t learn to follow orders then i’m benching you from patrol!

Damian: and if you can’t learn to COMPROMISE then i’m giving my fathers day card to GREEN LANTERN.

Bruce:

Bruce: wait.

Jason, high-fiving Dick: god, we taught him well.

-

Dick: hey, B? can you pass us the batmobile keys? we wanna go do donuts in the batburger parking lot.

Bruce: why would i-

Dick: and hey! remember, fathers day is coming up soon~

Dick: i’m sure Jay will appreciate this a lot, and fathers day is a great time to receive some of his famous baked goods~

Dick: IF you’re on his good side that is…

Bruce:

Bruce:

Jason: s’ got a point, old man.

Bruce, softly: fuck

-

Bruce: can you do this WE paperwork for me? i’m busy working on the batcomputer.

Tim:

Tim, with a malicious smile: sure! oh and sorry again for not being able to make the vacation next weekend, just family stuff, you know…

Bruce: wait- what? you aren’t coming? that was a fathers day trip for us all, gifted to me by Cass!

Tim: yes, well. i’ll be spending fathers day with my dad. you know it makes sense to give something back after all he’s done for me…

Bruce: ?? you sued him for emotional damages and moved out at 13?!

Tim: i appreciate him… so much…

Bruce:

Bruce: alright fine i’ll do the paperwork myself.

Tim, sliding over a folder: and these forms i’m supposed to do by tonight.

Bruce: fine.

-

Bruce, gloomily eating cereal:

Jason: what’s wrong with him now?

Steph: oh he tried to ground me so i gave a no.1 dad mug to Alfred instead of him.

Jason:

Bruce: *slurps milk noisily, glaring at the counter*

Jason: awesome.

[unluckyleprechaun]

[unluckyleprechaun]

@obscure-references-here

conversations overheard on the batkid com lines pt 13 (masterpost here)

Tim: guys, Batman is pissing me off tonight. i need revenge ideas, go.

Bruce: i am on this line- i'm literally standing right next to you, Red Robin.

Dick: shut up B, we're brain storming here.

Damian: you could hack the Batmobile's radio to only play that ad jingle that he hates so much.

Bruce: Robin?!

Tim: this is good, this is good,

Dick: just do what Hood used to do and write revenge porn.

Tim: sorry, Hood used to what now?!

Bruce: Oracle, kick Nightwing from this line.

Oracle: not a chance, please elaborate Nightwing.

Dick, giggling: yeah, he used to- O, get Hood in this call, he loves talking about this it's hysterical.

*ping*

Jason: -tell me where the site is or you'll be jerking off with a fucking prosthetic for the rest of your life, asshole, now- *distant scared whimpers* -TELL ME!

Tim, sweetly: hiya Hood~

Jason: the fu- what- *thump* ...when'd i join this line? why am i here?

Dick: i requested it, i want a Red Hood story-time.

Bruce, firmly: no.

Damian and Tim, simultaneously: yes!

Jason: eh?

Dick: they want to know about the revenge porn you did on B back when you were in Gotham Academy.

Bruce: NO.

Jason: OH- *wheezes*

distant unknown male voice, barely heard through Jason's laughter: c-can i- can i go...?

Jason: *cough* AHA- y-yeah man, fuckin- HA- *wheeze* go for it, i'll track you down later, *cackling*

Dick: this was the story that made me start liking Hood as a little brother, by the way.

Jason: so- *wheeze* so B really pissed me off this one time when i was Robin, i can't even remember why,

Dick: he grounded you for calling Mr Freeze a 'cunt' in front of a group of pre-schoolers you were rescuing.

Jason: OH YEAH-! and part of the grounding was that he forced me to take part in the theatre department bullshit going on down at the school for like, community service, where a bunch of kids in my class were writing an original musical to put on for the end of year show. i was pretty good at english lit, so when my teacher heard i had to join she put me on the writers squad or whatever and pretty much told us to have at it.

Jason: except i was really pissed off at B at the time, so i convinced everybody that the musical should be about Gotham's own Batman, and then i decided to add in Superman and make him Batman's gay love interest.

Damian: oh my god

Dick: *wheezing* it- it was so fucking cool-

Tim: holy- IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL?!

Jason: *cackle* *high pitched* yeah- that's not- that's not even- dude it gets so much worse-

Bruce: it was not funny.

Dick, crying: god it so was...

Jason: AND I MADE THAT SHIT- I MADE IT SO EMOTIONAL, TOO-

Dick: YOU REALLY DID- LIKE IT WAS GOOD, THAT WAS THE THING,

Tim: *laughing*

Damian: please tell me you have a copy of the script, Hood

Jason: annotated and signed, i'll drop it round the cave later

Damian: i love you.

Tim: *laughing harder*

Dick: even better, i still have the fuckin' video,

Tim: THERES A VIDEO?!

Bruce: *disgruntled groan*

Jason: holy shit- dude you still have it?! I LOST MY COPY WHEN I DIED!

Dick: oh Jay, i would not have deleted that video if it saved you from the fucking Joker.

Bruce, scandalised: NIGHTWING.

Jason: NO- NO, AS HE FUCKING SHOULD B, I SENT IT TO HIM TO KEEP SAFE, AS HE FUCKING SHOULD-

Damian: is the video of the whole play?

Dick: well kind of? but littlewing, littlewing's a fucking genius so he- *wheeze*

Jason: i didn't want to act in the actual musical, so they put me on stagehand shit and i ended up in charge of the official school's video production, and i just- *laughter* i just fuckin'- i fuckin filmed B's reaction in the audience for like- *wheeze* the whole fucking play-

Dick: THE BEST PART- best part was B 100% got sucked into the story,

Bruce: I DID NOT.

Jason: YOU CRIED DURING THE ENDING KISS.

Dick: *bursts out laughing*

Tim: SORRY-?!

Damian: Nightwing i want that video.

Dick: *still laughing*

Jason: to this day, best thing i ever did as a child. i don't care about my legacy as Robin, i'm just happy i got to produce such a masterpiece. i should write a sequel-,

Tim: PLEASE,

Bruce: ok that's it,

Tim: B, what are you-

*ping*

Dick: what'd- what-

Oracle: Batman, you can't kick Red Hood from the line.

Bruce: WELL YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING-!

[unluckyleprechaun]

let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of

[unluckyleprechaun]

@obscure-references-here

[unluckyleprechaun]

Someone at an old job asked why I wanted to write up the meeting minutes for our team and I said 'i wanna control the narrative' and they were like 'what' and I pointed out that no one was gonna remember what we said in six months and so my interpretation of the meeting would dictate the assumed reality of what happened

"none of you ever send corrections when I offer the draft so y'all have consented to my version"

"we don't read that shit"

"you must trust me implicitly to create our shared reality that's so sweet"

That's how several coworkers decided I was a supervillain and how I learned several coworkers didn't understand record keeping as like a CONCEPT

[unluckyleprechaun]

Told my doctor and therapist about how the AI "trying to determine my age" will expose all the HIPPA covered private information that has passed through gmail and all the medical advice youtube videos they had linked over the years and the response was instantly I will contact the other doctors here and lodge a formal complaint about it to HIPPA Try this, tell your local librarians, teachers, doctors. Most people have not heard about this yet, that's how it is passing

omg I forget the US has actual institutions that work for the good of the people

[unluckyleprechaun]

@obscure-references-here why do I feel like I've heard this before? XD