unmut3dg1rl

[unmut3dg1rl]

[unmut3dg1rl]

I know where "you" live. I didn't know it, but I drive by it all the time. It's a nice house, riverfront. Scenic view, big. I turn my head and note the house number, the brick mailbox. I look for cars out front. I wonder which window you could see me from. You're in a higher tax bracket. I guess that's how your parents could afford to send you to private school. I think your dad's dead, but I'm not sure. I know what your middle name is. I know you registered Democrat in 2018. I found your playlists. Sorted by genre. Varied tastes. A gym playlist. One for runs. I think I saw you out jogging the other night when I was at the dock, but maybe I dreamt you up. I didn't look closely so I could pretend.

"You" liked some video about having an ex, so I assume you just got out of a breakup and you're throwing yourself at women. I think it was her who broke things off because you wouldn't be so eager otherwise. You probably have depression. You probably watch porn and jack off for the brief dopamine hit, so you can see stars explode behind your eyelids before you drift off at three in the morning. Do you feel happier after you sext me? I know you go to bed late, because you respond to me late. I wonder if you're out jogging, every night, to try and forget her. To shake the rot from your bones. I know that kind of insanity. We'd get along.

You have nice tattoos. You're shorter, but I don't mind that. I'd love to trace your musculature for reference. I'd love to sling my legs over you and show you exactly how I've grown into a woman.

But I can't reach you. Despite everything I know, maybe I never will.

Pathetically enough, all I do is lie here and ache. We could be each other's fix- we'd pretend. You'd love what I could become for you. I raise my eyes to heaven and I don't quite pray so much as beg for a chance to try at it. Like a whimpering dog begging for scraps at a table.

[unmut3dg1rl]

change your heart or die

[unmut3dg1rl]

i don't care if you're watching anymore