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consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

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I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

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Here's my plant for the few who follow me.

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Right, the reason why the two women were fighting for custody is because both were moms, but one accidentally killed her child by rolling over in her sleep. So this grieving mom decides to take the baby of the other one. That's why she didn't care if the baby got cut in half because then they would lose both. I don't know about the trampled guy story, but have you heard of the one where people were eating their children. Well technically there was a way you could stop your firstborn from dying and even then God did the plagues not just to anger the Pharoah but also because God's chosen people were enslaved.

(The Bible may seem like Christian savagery, but since it's recordings/manuscripts from the past, then I don't want to know what wasn't written down)

Shout out to the next generation of yuri warriors

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Creatures

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You are now uranium

Congratulations, youre body has taken on a new form! Spin this wheel three times. These words describe your new body

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Clawed, heartless, and crumbling. I think that's a gargoyle

Congratulations, youre body has taken on a new form! Spin this wheel three times. These words describe your new body

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Boogaard's successor

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"Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they're 15" this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit

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hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

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Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

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they removed posting from tumblr. now there's only scrolling down through the vast blank expanse. great

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This was how I got my insulin therapy back in 2020. Insurance didn’t want to pay for it because I wasn’t diabetic and my mama got herself on a conference call with the pharmacy and the insurance company and idk what was said or how she threatened to expose them but 15 minutes later my insulin was at the pharmacy waiting, for free.

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Redditors crashed the website with donations over $25k and 0 wishes left. via /r/MadeMeSmile

Click here and follow to get more daily positivity on your dash!

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(I just had to).

I sat, dejected, looking at the pitiful amount of coins that made up my entire wealth. I had been told to leave while I was just doing my job. Nobody has ever believed what I said, not even my own parents. I tried to be truthful, but it always seemed like truth had eluded me. Gripping my clothes, I decided to do the one thing I never wanted to: lie. I would lie and cheat people out of their coins, telling them I have a sick family who needs money, but I am unable to work because of bad lungs. Grabbing my cloak, I walked out and almost immediately bumped into someone. I began begging them to help me, and their response amazed me. They never suspected I had lied to them. I tested it out a couple more times, and each time I was given a small amount of coins. I knew this wouldn't last long, so I headed to the local copper mine and announced that I would need several baskets full of processed copper and would pay right on the spot. The miners looked at me with worry. They told me they couldn't process the copper as nicely as those in the village, and such short notice would definitely produce poor copper. I told him I would process it later, I just needed it sometime today. I gave them nearly every coin I had gotten, and begun to plan how much I would sell the copper for and what I would say to entice customers to buy poor quality copper.

You have been cursed so that nobody believes you when you tell the truth. But you find people will believe you when you lie. So until you can find a way to undo the curse you make do as a very successful merchant.

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The witch paled when she looked through her crystal ball, finding the bearer of the curse not to be the young prince but a farm hand who just happened to be one 'm' away from the prince's name. She wrung her hands, turning them over as she thought of what could be done. The curse she had uttered was nearly impossible to break or avoid, meaning the farm hand would have to live with it the rest of his live. Finally, she remembered what her mother taught her.

"If you make a mistake or wrong someone, fix the mess you made as early as possible."

So she made a plan, grabbing the necessities and her cloak. She was going to try and fix this mess even if it was impossible. She walked out of her hut and, with a twirl and a bit of magic, turned into a bird and flew towards the farm. She landed as the sun was going down and the farm hands gathering for supper. She located the farm hand who she had cursed, and lured him away with an enchantment. She turned back into a bird, startling the farm hand.

"I know you're surprised to see me, but I have something urgent that I must tell you. I have accidently cursed you, and it is only fair I tell you what the curse is."

She took a breath, gathering herself and getting ready for the yelling and threats that were to come.

"You were cursed that when you turn 25, which is a year and half away for you, your love would become a monster, your money run dry, and your lands will become barren."

The witch had been looking down while saying this, bracing herself for what the farm hand would do, but she didn't expect him to chuckle. Looking up, she saw understanding and amusement across his face.

"Sounds to me like you describe a drought. I'll let the others know so we can prepare, but you really need to get out more if you thought a drought would kill me. Thanks anyway for the warning, miss."

With that, the farm hand walked away, leaving the witch standing alone and confused. But she eventually left, confusingly happy the farm hand saw what she didn't.

A year and a half went by, and like the farm hand said a drought came through, destroying crops and creating hunger. But for all the farms that listened to that one farm hand and his "prophecy" of the drought, they got through with what they stockpiled. The witch visited, just to see if he was truly okay, and never expected to be praised and thanked by all the farmers for saving them and their families. The witch now lives closer to the farms, bringing her medical knowledge and fortune telling. She never expected that one small mistake could change her life for the better, but she never would've changed that mistake.

A witch found out to her horror that she had somehow cursed the wrong person. Expecting retribution when the victim came knocking at her doorstep, she was surprised to find them rather pleased with the curse's effects.