unreasonable-desire

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i think one reason the internet feels so hostile now is because everyone online is always trying to sell whatever information they have. on "old internet" websites and blogs you could find someone who had been devoting themselves to a craft for fifty years breaking down their expertise step by step for free for the simple love of the game. now people teach themselves some knowledge for free off Cosmo or WebMD or whatever and then immediately start building courses and printables to sell on instagram. it's a fundamentally different way of treating the people you're on the internet with. we went from seeing the other users online as people we could build communities with to suckers we could squeeze money out of (or to put it more generously, potential customers to court). it's a much more adversarial, manipulative and underhanded way to behave.

and of course this is inextricable from the fact that companies did this to the internet first. corporations came into the space and treated everyone as a sucker and every piece of knowledge and every trend as something to charge for, and people just kind of followed suit. if you can't beat the enshittification of the internet, if you can't get away from the ten million ads on everything from social media to recipe blogs, why wouldn't you join them and become an ad incarnate yourself?

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it's amazing how when i'm an active agent in my life good things happen and i feel capable and confident in myself and when i just passively let life happen to me terrible things happen and i am miserable. surely no one else has ever noticed this tendency

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there is one thing of which i am certain and it’s that 90% of ethel cain fans are demons sent to spread misery on this earth

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i love this tweet bc it’s the exact same genre of culturally tapped in unnecessary haterism i also peddle in

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17.05.24

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experiencing thoughts and memories

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my old ass property law professor walked into class today, immediately almost died tripping down the stairs, then went to the mic and said "sorry about that I had a stroke last year" and then introduced himself as being the "faculty lefty" and a former jock

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reading the case about a Palestine encampment vs the university for law school and the judge is like "the counsel for the university asked during oral arguments, what if someone wants to have breakfast where the protestors are occupying? why can't they have breakfast there? And you know what, that's a really good point"

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law school tiffins

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autumn evening off the river

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-- Ted Chiang, from "Why A.I. Isn't Going to Make Art"

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Initiation Well Location: Sintra, Portugal

A pair of wells, called the Initiation Wells, spiral down deep within the earth, like inverted towers. The wells were never used to collect water. Instead, they were part of a mysterious initiation ritual within the Knights of Templar tradition.

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I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself

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home sweet home

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will I ever feel right

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in the woods with flash and expired b&w film