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Strawberry Faeries

Acrylic on Canvas

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hdjdjsjkk my mum works in retail and one of her coworkers is autistic & mostly doesnt talk unless he has to but yesterday he went out of his way to cross through the crowds of xmas shoppers and dodge a train of trolleys to go up to my mum, gesture to the crowds and say “michelle. i am losing the will to live”

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https://www.instagram.com/p/BZpwNSul7xs/?

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Who was the man who first salted the slug

What was he thinking to try

Roaming the lands pouring salt on god’s creatures

Hoping for one which would die

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F**k the military’s LGBTQ policies

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I was pregnant and everyone was yelling at me and my boyfriend because of that, even though we repeatedly told people that we never did anything. I gave birth but when I looked at the blankets that they put my “baby” into, it was a stapler wrapped inside them. Yes, the kind that you have in an office. So we talked to the doctors and they said that this happened because I ate contaminated Doritos and that the same thing was happening to others around the world who were giving birth to different office supplies.

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The many shades of Pikachu in Detective Pikachu.

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i remember being like 11 and asking my dad why he hunts and kills deer and he said “because i think theyre beautiful” and that’s just. that’s just what men are like

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Advice to live by

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Only fifty bucks for these rambunctious gals.

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honestly the only reason im not an old man is that i happen to have been born somewhat recently. other than that 

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just wanna remind y'all that there was a character in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy who accidentally became immortal and decided to spend his eternity of suffering traveling through time and space to insult everyone in the universe, one by one, in alphabetical order, and if that’s not a hero idk what is

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I keep going back to watch this video it just captures my sense of humour perfectly