Where lost kites go
There was a time when a girl was swept off her feet literally. her body glided like a feather as if she had been a kite. Her sweater growing warm and tight the sun showing hot love and passion that she avoided profusely.
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Time bomb
That girl was a ticking time bomb yet no one knew. Her lies were kept in the warmth of a bed within an ice cold house.She silently spokeâ it hurts to love and it hurts to hate so always give and never take.â That was an oath one beautifully broken.
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same
^^^ virgo, capricorn, aquarius placements ^^^
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lilium affect
She stares out the window .
Even the clock ticking makes her flinch.
She looks at the white lilies oddly familiar
Tracing her eyes death rings a tune to her ears.
The sky is bleak,
she stares blankly at the barrage of books
bangs her head against the brittle broken desk.
bleed this sadness through the bandages a blemish awaits
Bleeding this pain.
Something deep inside her longed to be blithe
Yet tattoos with morbid words are sprawled across her body like a suit.
They say sometimes itâs hard to look in the mirror when your enemy is staring right back.
bite my tongue. turn your lips
Choke on the words you spit.
Going mad with suicidal thoughts and getting high off tears.
Whispers of death in the dark
she sees the shadows of pain
ones not skin deep.
yet they still wreak havoc causing visible wounds
2d worries, this mind renders her inadequate
In this house of cards.
trying to swallow this cold rain
Hoping it would go away
Congested like you can't breathe
Infested with all she canât see.
Because sheâs blind to light
A pacifist's demise leads her to ultimate despair
stressed
depressed
her life is a mess
Canât feel her heart in her chest .
Just the sound of nothingness
While she desires nothing less
Others try to guess what wrong
She nods along feeling forlorn
Her thoughts are torn
she know they deplore her
She just canât take it anymore
So She just sits there and mourns
This day she was born
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Almost drowned
an ignorant love i might say
Reclusive and ever elusive love is,
The intangible like quality that compels us.
Like swimming in the middle of the ocean
Makes us restless and desire more.
Who am i?
feeling soulless following you around around like a child.
What do i want?
This bashful innocence yells that i know nothing.
But like a baby struggling to walk im learning
Looking through rose colored lenses
Illusions drive me insane with thoughts of what we could be
What is real
Yearning for that movie like reality
Because whatâs before me doesnât suffice.
Trembling tremors trials and tribulations
always taciturn for your tangible to the tender touch
Tremendously tantalizing you are transcendental
Like mother ocean herself.
Emotions rush in like waves
I can feel the poison in my bloodstream
Yet my heart pumps loudly
I feel alive through the pain
Watching from afar is enough for me
Sometimes iâll hold out a hand in your direction
Iâll feel the warmth in my heart
Iâll listen to the lullaby of my love
Young and foolish they call me
But iâm blind to these bright colors
So beautiful it blurs my vision
Yet you stand out among them
These fleeting visions sweep past my mind
Canât you hear the echo of my love?
It howls out whenever youâre near
Iâll cry for this foolish first love
Because iâve never entered even an inch into your line of sight
Yet Ironically you're all i see
so like a child begging for attention i persisted
Like a flower my love bloomed and now it withers
Like a tree in fall i will unwillingly discard these leaves
yet theyâll still fall brilliantly.
Those bright colors will plague my vision again.
Selfishly crumble that wasted attempt,
like paper discard it
These tears will wash the scars away
But my love will scream out at the ocean once more
a love that died,
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getting high off tears
everything is aching her body is on fire.
This never ending depression this pain like a knife stabbing through her skin.
You can call this her funeral even though sheâs not dead.
When she can no longer breathe or speak.
 sheâll get high off her tears.
Smoke them till sheâs too high to speak.
Till she falls asleep
Until her pillow is soaked and vision clouded.
itâs a drug and sheâs addicted.
A slave to these harsh unfair emotions.
Throw her around like a ragdoll and sheâll just get high again.
This anxiety creeping up behind her clawing at her mind and body.
Leaves her a slave to these harsh unfair emotions.
Like being locked in a jail cell without bars.
So she continues to fall into this sweet despair.
The little girl silently screams that she just wants to be happy like the rest of them.
Cherishing every moment when sheâs with her friends smiling.
Because she knows it wonât last.
Wanting to freeze time to cherish this blissful feeling forever even if itâs just for a second.
But deep down she knows itâs impossible.
That its her just trying to look through rose colored lenses but they arenât for her.
So her heart continues to pump and along with each pump comes an indescribable
ache from within her body.
Believing that she can tell nobody.
Yet there are those who are there to support her but sheâs blinded by her own stubborn sadness.
So she puts on a crooked smile and slowly lifts her head up at the sun.
The bright mornings, beautiful sunsets, and the feeling that thereâs more to life than what meets the eye.
Something weâre all missing while going along with our day to day lives.
And the idea that maybe just maybe the girl who gets high off tears, the girls with the crooked smile.
She might actually have a purpose here.
And that girl doesnât wanna let that feeling go no matter what.
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follow the north star
I feel completely lost
Even when there's two paths in front of me
Itâs scary without a map to tell you where to go
I guess we take those for granted
When weâre to busy taking chances
And not making plans
iâve already drawn my own and erased it countless times
Stubbornness is in a light of its own in me
Without a permanent marker nothing is set in stone
My mind wonât be pleased
I see a starry sky full of possibilities
Iâll go out and get what i want
Even if itâs hard
let the excitement of my mind charge my restless body
Because iâm dieing to know where this uncharted territory will take me
So ill stop putting thought into
something I never dared to know
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sabotage yourself
I wish i could stop caring
I wish my hands and body would stop quivering
I wish I didnât have to talk because my voice is shaking
Give me a second to pull myself back together
Give me a few days to remember who you were
Because being around the new you makes it so hard to remember
I don't need you
No matter how many time i keep that on repeat
I can't forget you
No matter how sickening this love is i canât leave
I'm bound to you
Obsessed
my real feeling are compressed
Because you donât want this mess
Some call me desperate
But i just canât forget my first love
i canât wake up
Iâm too weak without you
Holding onto you
Still so close yet far away there i go wishing you still loved me
Fighting the flame that'sâ still burning in my heart reminding me of what we used to be.
Still stuck in the same old black and white reality yet its been over.
my heart still beats like a drum when you're passing by
But if i could turn back time youâd still be mine
This is why i canât let go of you
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I realized as I got older that I had visited neverland, not the fictional paradise for children that hated adults. But my own sanctuary where we played games until our hands turned red and sore from gripping those plastic controllers and our legs grew numb from sitting on them.Where I could wake up every morning when the sun shone through the curtains to your voice and quirky attitude that beckoned me to respond. Five years ago I visited neverland and I had never told a soul.
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How to Tell The Signs Like You
Aries: Lots of hugs. Â They will often challenge you, whether this is challenging your beliefs or trying to prove their worth by winning a game. Â They get jealous easily and may come off as harsh when they see you flirting with or giving attention to someone else. Â They will think about you more than they like to admit. Â They will want to be updated with whatâs going on in your life, and will actually show interest in your routines/interactions with others. Â There is a good chance these guys will just tell you how they feel.
Taurus: Theyâll ask for your opinions on things and will try to hold stimulating conversations with you. All of your quirks and bad habits will become cute to them. Â They will look at you like you are this special human being who must be protected at all costs. Â Sometimes theyâll make fun of you, but all good natured. Â You will consume their thoughts. Â They will compliment you on things they admire about you in an almost-manipulative way of letting you know who they want you to be. All earth signs are somewhat manipulative. Â Taurusâ are just so sweet when they like someone, please donât hurt them, they constantly fear that once they open up, theyâll be misunderstood or rejected, so donât be discouraged by a more reserved presence. This is why they want to know so much about you.
Gemini: Witty and talkative. Â You may think they are always this way, but if they like you, youâll see it in their eyes. Â They can be absolutely weird when talking to their crush. Â They let their guard down. Â Theyâll try to treat you like just another friends if they donât want to be too obvious about it, but still theyâll pay more attention to what you have to say. Â They can be touchy, similar to Leos, but more spontaneous. Â Be careful with Geminis, they look at love as an experience/adventure; they are most likely to lead someone on for the thrill of it. Â Theyâll also be really supportive and encourage you to go after what you want. Â They want the best for you.
Cancer: Shy and so sweet. Â All of their friends are 100% aware that they like you. Â You can probably know more about how a cancer feels about you by observing how their friends act around you. Â They are not exactly coy, but more cautious. Â Lots of soft eyes and smiles. Â They wonât hesitate to ask if youâre okay or how youâre doing, unless they doubt themselves. Â If you see them looking at you, they are trying to figure out what to say to you or a way to subtly interact with you. They fear rejection, so they are probably least likely to make the first move.
Leo: Theyâll probably flat out tell you that they like you.  Everyone within earshot will know it. They get really touchy feely and will play games with you.  Footsies under the table.  They will say some things and youâll be like what the fuck are you talking about, but forgive them, itâs their way of being nervous, even if they donât know it.  Theyâll want to be around you. They will make more eye contact than they typically would with other people.  If they really like you, theyâll adopt this special âvoiceâ which they will only talk to you in.  Itâs often softer, sweeter, and really irresistible.  They can be SO protective (itâs adorable)!! They also try to impress you and it may come off as arrogant, but itâs actually so cute âcause they just want you to see how great they are.
Virgo:  They will challenge you, but not in the same way that Aries does.  Virgos tend to display their more negative qualities (sometimes on accident) to see if you are worth their time.  They tend to be very insecure, so they need to know that you will stand by them at their worst.  They will certainly pick out your flaws if they like you and may be harder on you because they want you to be the best you that you can be.  They may tag along with your friend group to be around you.  They often misinterpret feelings so they may share the âhot and coldâ nature that Capricorns have because they are paranoid.  Theyâll open up to you just a bit more than they would with others.  They want to make sure you stimulate them intellectually before they get too serious, this is important to them.
Libra: This is a toughy because Libras are generally very charming and likable people. Â A good way to determine whether they like you is by asking around- if a Libra likes you, they will never say no when asked by others if they like you (unless they have good reason). Â They will try to be around you frequently and will try to show you their best side. Â They will treat you differently than other people if they like you, so watch out for any soft voices or loving eyes that they save for only a special someone. Â
Scorpio: If they give you any special attention at all, this is a good sign. Â Scorpios are typically indifferent to people who do not interest/benefit them in the slightest. Â Scorpios are known for their impulsive wit and charm, but can be a bit more awkward (in a cute way) and less witty around their crush. Â EYES EYES EYES. Expect intense eye contact and lots of âsubtleâ staring from a smitten Scorpio. Â They are very protective, sometimes even possessive over their crush. Â Their eyes will light up with curiosity or lust at the mention of you.
Sagittarius: They try extra hard to make you laugh.  They can be very childish and just want you to see the adventure in everything.  They will try to impress you with their random acquired skills, which can range from being able to identify every bird in sight to the capability of balancing a pencil on their nose for several minutes.  Sometimes they stutter or are more shy around the person they like, which is a telltale because Sags are nearly always outgoing or at least projective of whatâs going on with them.  They will compliment you a lot.  They will try to be what they think you want<â-Capricorns do this too, but they merely deduce your personality and accentuate the features they think youâll appreciate. While Sags think they are doing what Capricorns do so well, they really need to find someone who will accept them for who they are.
Capricorn: They will be very hot and cold.  One day, they can be outrageous and flirty and coy, but you can bet your life that they will go home and overthink it and the next day they will give their utmost effort to avoid you or seem indifferent towards you.  This is because Capricorns have a superiority complex, and sometimes a crush makes them feel weak; they are afraid of getting hurt so they will never act too smitten for too long.  This is why most Capricorns will not admit to their feelings until they are secure in the fact that you feel the same way.  A Capricorn will also try to help you and give you advice, not because they think you are wrong or in need of actual help, but because they care about your well being and want you to live the best life you can.  They will try to impress you with their unique talents or philosophies.  They can be very coy and charming.  Intense eye contact (they honestly believe they can seduce you with their eyes).  They are chivalrous regardless of gender; they love holding doors for their crush (like literally all of them do this).  Side note: they will never forget a single thing you say or do.  Ever.
Aquarius: They will want to hang around you.  They tend to be more reserved emotionally, but will mess around with you to cope.  Like gemini, they will encourage you to go after what they think is best for you.  If you are currently interested in someone else, a crushing Aquarius will not be too fond of said person and try to convince you that you âdeserve better.â They will not let conversations die.  Aquarians donât have the greatest attention span so they definitely admire you in some way if they hold convos with you, especially over text.  Lots of laughter too!! Lots of staring, they probably wonât even look away when you make eye contact with them.  Actually, they may just laugh out loud. They are often more courteous of you than they are with others.
Pisces: Think coy and giggly. They are the ultimate dreamers and will utterly want to share these dreams and desires with you.  They can be pretty awkward, but itâs cute.  Theyâll try to look their best around you.  They get a bit shy, but are almost always in a flirty mood.  Lots of poking and material stealing and cute doodles.  They are the epitome of a âmiddle school crushâ if you get what I mean.  The boys tend to be this way more than the girls because sometimes the girls consider it childish.  Sometimes.  They are most likely to stalk you on social media.  Pisces flirt immensely through technology, and are great at sending cute texts or messages.  This is often because they stutter or withdraw in real life.  If they are single and ready to mingle, youâll know, with frequent sighs and several exclamations of âno one likes meâ followed by insecure laughter.  Basically, theyâre cute.
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